Some Of My Crazy Thoughts

Some of my crazy thoughts…

…it may be strange, but after seeing S1-S3 in a few days and S4 actually quite recently, the story is finally starting to make sense to me! Now that I know the whole picture. And I think the ending makes sense to me too.

The whole third season is one big foreshadowing of things to come and the end of the story. Five already understand during this season 3 that there's no point in fighting the end and they enjoyed their "last party". The one they won't get later.

Literally every main character here has searched for themselves, made mistakes, done the right things, fought for their happiness, found love and experienced loss. And the women in the story have also experienced what it's like to be mothers and what it's like to lose and regain their children.

None of them were perfect, and literally everyone had blood on their hands as each of them saved themselves from the apocalypse, leaving a scorched world in their wake. So it makes sense that it was their turn later. It was the toll of everything that happened. They wanted to save the world, they were supposed to be heroes, but the world was always behind them.

Each successive apocalypse has only made things worse, but it has given everyone one crucial thing: time. Time for everyone to experience their own piece of happiness. And last up was Five and Ben. So yeah, hell yeah, Five exactly needed the story it got and should get every minute of it that Netflix deprived us of. Was it sad and tragic afterwards? Of course it was! Again. It's happened to everyone!

Everyone had their own story, but the basics were the same. They experienced very similar things. Reginald has made many selfish decisions to get what he wants. And so do his children. Still, in the end, none of them win, but everyone enjoyed their little world in the meantime for a moment.

Does it suck? Well, like, yes. But I can't say it's a bad story! It wasn't until I saw everything again that I began to understand things that didn't make sense to me before.

The story is actually brilliant in many ways, but that doesn't mean it's not sad. If I were to take away just one thought about the series, it's this: cherish the time you have, cherish the happiness you find, because nothing lasts forever.

I will go down with this ship

It was all there before S4 !

you’ve gotta pick a focus point. something concrete to focus on. // one could overthrow an empire. one could fall in love.

Umbrella Academy S4 reaction (spoilers)

I'm a little surprised how negative the reaction to S4 has been. It's flawed and a bit too loose, sure, but I think there's a thematic arc, to do with the painful but redemptive potential of selfless love, that a lot of people didn't recognize, or didn't like, possibly because it's too sentimental, or too tragic, or both.

In particular, I have a really different take on That Relationship. You know the one I mean.

But before I get to that, I just want to address the issue of unexplained plot points, of which there are certainly many. UA is both of its genre and a spoof on it, and as such, it's not supposed to make total sense. Comic-book storytelling is all about the impossible premise, the unlikely twist, the overblown threat, the arbitrary race against the clock, the catastrophic non-ending. A big part of UA's appeal is that it takes that formula to an absurd extreme, unwinding a plot so convoluted and horrifying as to be comedic, then offering a resolution that raises more questions than it answers, and that seems final -- but is it ever? But scratch the surface, and it's really all about the over-the-top super(anti)heroes who are surprisingly endearing, nuanced and tragic, whom the audience roots for despite a million reasons not to. Would S4 have benefitted from a few more episodes? No doubt, mostly to give each character their due (Klaus, my Klaus, I need more of you!). But the plot wouldn't have made any more sense, and I don't think it needed to.

On to That Relationship: the much criticized story of Lila/Five (aka Live -- can I copyright this?). A moving but comically trope-laden ship (forbidden love, montage love, love triangle, enemies-to-lovers, pocket-universe happily-ever-after, etc), it fits right into the UA sensibility. To all appearances, Live are wildly unlikely, but I can't help feeling there's a deep well of right under all that wrong. They have similar histories as traumatized, sensitive souls turned cold, cruel killing machines. They're smarter, more cynical, and stronger-willed than everyone around them. And they are clearly starved of love and desperate for connection. Fate puts them in circumstances where it's almost inevitable that they'll form an attachment, only to then demand of them the ultimate sacrifice. Their surprisingly quiet, life-affirming, Guinevere-and-Lancelot love is redemptive, contrasting with the meddling, selfish, and/or destructive love of others: Reginald and Abigail, Ben and Jennifer, Gene and Jean. Live aren't an unnecessary digression, they're central to the thematic development of the story. Sacrifice saves the world, but without love, there is no sacrifice.

And yes, I absolutely think Lila loves Five to the end. And while I appreciate that some might find the age difference between the actors off-putting, I don't think there was anything inappropriate on a Doylist level, and it all makes perfect sense on a Watsonian level.

Also:

Aidan Gallagher and Ritu Arya are extraordinary;

the use of Baby Shark is genius;

Diego, Luther and Allison have been the least interesting characters from the start, and S4 does nothing to change that;

Viktor needs a sense of humor;

I love that alternate universes are all the rage these days (so many great tropes started with Trek), but tbh Loki does it better;

as visual representations of the space between realities, I love both the Loki automat and the UA subway, but at some point, using recent-past retro design to signal liminal space is going to get old, which, come to think of it, will be deliciously ironic.

Sexy side of Fivela

It's been stated that Five is dealing with the side effect of being in a younger body again for multiple seasons. Klaus said, "You must be horny as hell!" Five became drunk and said he was going through puberty twice and then the above scene with his hormones raging. The showrunner mentioned that he wasn't the type to just go out and date. According to David Castaneda, showrunner said it would be impossible to not get with that 'hot cake'. Regarding Five and lila getting together. I'm paraphrasing but that was the jist of it lol Lyla has always been a rather sexual woman. Even in passing conversations having innuendo such as 'enough foreplay!' to five and mentioning doggystyle whats-it to describe a move in ice skating. Nevermind her sexual exploits with Diego in the past. Given they went years without touch. Five even longer after they lost their powers and had the 6 year time skip. Think once they kissed and made their relationship official...suffice to say I believe they made up for lost time even though their time together like that was just for a year or 6 months. They must have went at it like rabbits xDD (No distractions like kids, work...life obligations in the way. In between companionship in each others company and finding what they needed to survive with.) Do wish we had more charged banter between them once they became lovers but I am grateful we saw the banter before the subway trip, friendship and respect as former assassins via the Jerome/Nancy scenes and of course the deep love bond between them that was positively sweet and eventually angst filled.

~♥ They would have loved each other no matter what~♥ Essay Part 1

So a large portion on the fandom believes it was the 7 years stuck together that allowed them to fall for each other. It did help since they were each others only company but their were signs of attraction since the beginning with these two. ♥ Lila from the start was always amused by his quick witted retorts. Outside of being called "Crazy lady". She would always smile gleefully when he would insult and banter with her. Both characters had the best one liners. "You are an open book for very dumb children" - lila She even tried to give him props for a clever snark at Diego.

♥ Five being Five could see through her with his level of perceptiveness. I'm sure that comes into play as the years go by both before and after being stuck in the subway. Hopefully could tell she loved him despite her barbed tongue in her effort to push away and lash out. Lying to a certain extent and being in denial is true to her character to cope. Think his ability to read her also showed he was better suited for her and her needs. Aware of her unhappiness with Diego in season 4. Probably why at that time in the series, he couldn't easily say no to her. Knowing she desperately needed more of a purpose and freedom, outside of taking care of the kids that...while important was still not planned at all. Once Kids are thrown in the mix, one is more trapped in the relationship. ♥ Despite the mistrust he harbors for her at the start, their is a certain level of respect. With his "knowing what you are doing" comment before booting her from their group. He also respects her intellect given their shared backgrounds. Immediately seeking her out in season 3. He perked up when he heard lila returned. This was before he was in chaos problem solver mode. When Klaus mentioned not liking her, Five was quick to speak up for her to say she was family. Even though she wasn't raised with them. He harbored guilt over his hand in taking away her family when she was a child. So in his own way, was trying to give her a place with theirs. Diego first opened that door of course with their connection. Given Five is pretty much the patriarch of their family, his words to secure her place in it held more weight. Something Klaus acknowledged later in the season. Viktor essentially told lila to stay out of it, that she wasn't part of the family and this time Klaus stood up for her. Backing up what his brother told him before.

♥ They always had chemistry. Even when they tried to kill each other in season 2. The legendary bath fight scene was still charged with that energy. Such animosity but hard to not see the battle was fueled with euphemisms. Lila naked while fighting him close quarters. The choking scene she appeared to get too into for a moment. Perhaps that fetish is one the writers enjoy. Klaus was also into suffocation lol

The struggle Five had to fight her but the need to try to kill was dulled. He wanted or needed to work with her. The only person he felt would be able to keep up with him in terms of fighting abilities, background with knowing the inner workings of time and both being clever. Unlike their conflicts before, he was on the defensive. Trying to not hurt her too much. Whereas with lila, she was trying to shiv him but it felt like she was in 'crazy lady' mode and this was more her violent greeting. She had unresolved issues with him having killed her parents. They later discuss it and the turbulent storm of emotion when regarding him seemed to have calmed. He had brutal honesty with her. Mentioning how he rolled back time. While it saved his siblings lives...he gave her her life back as well. Even tried to give some love advice for her to grasp some happiness (in his own way) He mentioned them working together, bonded by hatred. To which it looked like she rolled her eyes. Don't think she shared that sentiment anymore. She had a softer tone when she offered her hand to him. Five had a small smirk appear but quickly covered him up with a neutral expression. Funny how even in those earlier episodes, it didn't take much for her to lead him by the hand in numerous situations.

♥ Foreshadowing when Five and lila walked out of the room together, following her bath and their fight. Diego was starting to jump to conclusions despite Five's younger form of 15/16. Five shrugged it off but lila just smiled. Enjoying the insinuation as well Diego's jealousy. Often times it's been the three of them when the group has had to separate for sub storylines or just even among their group of characters.

Another point of foreshadowing was during their mini adventure together to the now destroyed commission. Discussed they weren't well suited to retiring and domestic life. Yet as we know, they later make a home together in their Greenhouse even if it was brief. ♥ As they investigated the commission, Lila showed multiple times how intelligent she was. Even before they landed there. Was her brainstormed idea to combine their powers with the briefcase to be successful. She found the manual for five to go over which led them to the operations bunker. While her analogy was unconventional...she understood the first time five mentioned the grandfather paradox and the kugelblitz. ♥ Their adventure with going to the commission together felt like a test drive in how they would work together later in the storyline with all those apocalypse worlds they would end up in. Even when Lila was playful and tried to do the jinx game to lighten that old man up. While they are reflections of each other with suffering at the hands of The Handler, their understanding of time and being assassins. They both have their own means of coping in order to not let others too close. As lila said, 'Easier to mindfuck someone instead of being truly vulnerable to be rejected.' Or something along those lines. Five shied away from human touch for quite some time. Wouldn't let his own brother reach out to him. In the original script even rejected Vanya with a hug. Someone whom, according to the actor was their crush when they were younger. Similarly to the luther/allison crushing when Five was his natural age of 13. He would snark and pushed others from him, blinking away both when he was tired of a situation or if someone wanted to appeal to his softer side. It was lila with the hand holding to jump start the briefcase that was his first form of voluntary contact. When they crash landed back in their regular time, they tried to push each other off after lila realized she was holding on to him. Lila realized after their excursion that it was 'time to give up old grudges'. Yes this applied to Diego with getting back together with him but also connected to Five since it was in talking to him that made her realize, she should try again with Diego. Looming end of the world and all. She saw how emotionally wrecked Five was with being faced with the culmination of his powerlessness. Wasting his life trying to save his family and the world. Only to throw in the towel, giving up and dying alone with that five's life's work being destroyed (The commission) Lila learned about the level of stress he was under with trying to divert apocalypses. As his rage started to swell, the frustration with being locked in a younger body with hormones and just wanting to retire and buy the sports car of his choice. She clearly had an expression of pity and sadness. Heart bleeding for him where she even gently defended old founder Five from original five's venting wrath. "Take it easy on him, Five." - Lila After Founder five does perishes...lila is hesitant to leave Five alone. Wanting to at least keep him company. Five's own defense mechanisms kicked him, wanting to be alone. This is true to his character up until the end of the series. Being an old man who has been through countless horrors - he doesn't talk about the feelings that matter. Didn't want lila to see him in a sad, emotional state. Wanting solitude to mourn himself and rather keep how he feels quiet. "Buried deep." Something to note is that Lila is the only one to have seen him at his worse. Century old, aged, dismembered and dying. Only she and Luther have actively seen his true age reflected on a physical body. Yet despite knowing this she still found him attractive and was able to love him. That it wasn't simply because he was in an attractive body. Think that adds another layer to their friendship that later develops into something more.

♥ Not sure if I'm reading too much into it but when they had worked on combining their powers, or rather intensifying Five's...it seemed like it was more intimate with the level of trust. I'm not sure since obviously it required a great amount of focus to channel his time travelling abilities into the briefcase. What stuck out to me was Lila's "let me in!" Five: "I can't! It's too much!" Opening himself and his powers to accept her own mimicking wavelength obviously appeared to be a struggle. It's a short scene but could have involved more than what was on the surface with simply powering up. Curious about everyone's thoughts on this in particular. She has supported and worked on getting Five out of his shell since season 3 and into the 4th one. Being the catalyst to pull him into situations and push him to accomplish what he feels he is unable to. Leading him onto the subway to investigate and have some fun. She called him out earlier with getting his heart pumping from end of the world scenarios. Klaus did the the same thing multiple times. Being called a 'chaos junkie'. When Five had no confidence in his blink abilities, it was lila that pushed him to get 'back on that horse'. Even with powering up the briefcase, when he was yelling he couldn't do it...she said to not 'Bitch out on me now!' Said he hated her in the moment but showed she is what he needs. ♥ After the timeskip of 6 years, think they did grow closer. Hard to tell since all we really know of Five's life is that he had joined the CIA in that time. She was observant enough to see how he was cautious about using his powers. Both wanting some excitement for herself to remind her of how she was. Before a dysfunctional marriage and draining homelife made her probably feel like a husk of her former self. She also saw that the usual confident Five was unsure of himself, pushing him to face it. Practice makes perfect maybe? lol *Credit to Fivelila for the gifs*

Once they had lived their other life in the subway, he still lacked confidence with using his ability. Outside of it taking them back to their isolated world of the subway system. It was only when Lila implored him and told him that she needs him that he was able to use his ability like the old days. Blinking them to semi safety inside the building. Not only that but he was able to blink their whole group there. Found that extremely romantic. Despite feeling hurt from their argument in 4.05 he had so much love for her to accomplish what he deemed impossible till that point. ♥ Looping back to season 3: He finally felt more comfortable with touching. After they felt they were successful in sealing up the Kugelblitz, they celebrated with drinking and dancing. Lila chose to mostly dance with five. You can see them have a kind of tug of war. Being an old man just wanting to be separated from the group to have his drinks. Lila was having none of that. You can see through the course of their dancing, five breaking down his shell temporarily to enjoy her persistence with wanting him to let his hair down and have fun. He actively does dance with her after all her effort. Quite adorable. I do recommend watching the behind the scenes footage/extended scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmd4fYNlr4A&t=651s

They also dance together at Luther's wedding. Suffice to say they are friends by this point.

When deciding on whether to hand over 'scary grandpa' to the Sparrows both Lila and Five are on the same page in terms of their moral ambiguity. Lila seeing the logic of sacrificing one for the billions. Not caring about the rest of the world much. Prioritizing her loved ones. Five does try to save the world numerous times but if it came down to sacrificing his whole family in favor of it...at this point in the story, would have put his family first. Despite their stance on it, they still feel guilty about the choice made.