ONE OF US| Neteyam X Avatar!reader

ONE OF US| neteyam x avatar!reader

summary: neteyam sully was the next olo'eyktan and for years had been focused on his training and his responsibilities only. he had never accounted for you to become one of them. when you got your avatar body and ended up in the forest alone, being brought to the village and offered to be taught the ways of the people wasn't what you expected. let alone it being neteyam, future olo'eyktan becoming your teacher.

pairings: neteyam x avatar!reader

word count: in progress

warnings/notes: enemies to lovers trope, slow burn, angst, swearing, child abandonment, mention of sky people, mention of death, lo'ak x avatar!reader (if you squint), asshole!neteyam/protective!neteyam, smut in later chapters

masterlist | requests are currently open for now

I. snga’itseng — just the beginning

II. the way of the na'vi

III. the outsider

IV. iknimaya

V. na’viyä hapxì — one of the people

VI. as the world caves in

VII. untitled for now

one of us spotify playlist - any songs you might think fit for the series? lmk so I can add them.

one of us | neteyam x avatar!reader

summary: when a person's life hangs in the balance, sometimes there is only one thing to do, one thing to ask of the great mother. a consciousness transfer, but the question remains: are you strong enough to pass through the eye of eywa? lots of feelings emerge as the only option left becomes the sole possibility

pairings: neteyam x avatar!reader

word count: 11.8k

warnings/notes: finally, swearing, major angst, mention of sky people, mention of death, mention of an afterlife, lots of feelings (all mostly sad), crying, more heartbreak, with sad fluff, we're so close to the end (2/3)

series masterlist | one of us: part seven | requests are currently open for now

All energy is only borrowed, never permanent, and one day you have to give it back.

It hadn’t taken long for Neytiri and Jake to make it to the camp, the pathway completely imprinted in his memory. He couldn’t talk the whole ride as the only thought that seemed to reach his mind was a suffocating amount of guilt. The same guilt that once had rotted away in his stomach years ago when he was still a dream walker, when the sky people had long since invaded Pandora, and when he was still working under Quaritch’s terms.

That guilt almost killed him when he gained the trust of the Omatikaya people. When Home Tree was destroyed, Grace was killed, and the great war brought many warriors home to their Great Mother. Not many were sparred and those that had looked to him for the answers, the mighty Toruk Makto. It wasn’t easy and often it took guidance from many to get him to where he was today but now here he was in that forest, that same perilous feeling overtaking his senses. 

He had known you were sick, not the full extent of it or how long it had been going on but he knew. Which meant as an adult, who had been watching over you, he was partly responsible. Responsible for the outcome of your life, the effect it had on his children, on his son, on his wife, on the people. He had let other commitments cloud his mind; the sky people, the new technology they were bringing back to the planet, and how they were getting closer to the village every day. He decided to focus on those things rather than checking in on you. Whatever happened he was partly responsible. As they stopped near the lab, the grey confines of it taunting him, he also knew where he was responsible, Max and Norm were too — if not more. 

Jake slid off of the direhorse, Neytiri behind him as he approached the large steel door coated in scratches and dents — it somehow stood in this environment and within these elements. Neytiri stiffened at the sight of it, every part of her screaming to rush back into the forest away from the very place she deemed as evil and foreign. She had no motivation to step foot into the metal box but the thought of you, the real you left her heart clenching in her chest.

Worry was the sole reason why she followed her husband, clinging to his back. It was that along with the fact that Jake would need someone to keep him grounded. As he stared at it, the cage it had become, he felt all of his frustration come to the surface as the terrified thought crossed his mind that you were dead. Raising his clenched fist to the door, he knocked, the loud sound echoing across the trees. 

The first compacted door opened and they moved inside. Neytiri felt her anxieties heighten as they stepped fully into a small compressing box. Jake stared forward through the glass of the second door, gaze locked on a human man standing in a white lab coat near the keypad for the door. He was so small, so weak, so angering. As the air decompressed in the box, the scientist clicked the keypad and the second door slid open.

Jake didn’t waste a moment. He stalked in there as if he owned the place. It felt so strange under his large blue feet after having once rolled across these tiled floors. The sight of the lab brought so many memories back to him; the link pods, the screens — so many memories, most of which he didn’t find comforting. 

Max appeared on the other side of the room in his own lab coat, a worried kink in his brow. At the sight of him, Jake snarled not afraid to use his intimidating statue as he walked across the room, “Where is she?” 

The demand was sharp, cold, and uncommon to be directed at Max, as he was one of Jake’s closest confidants for almost twenty years. Max blinked in surprise up at the Olo’eyktan, and at the sight of Jake in this space, he got his own flashbacks of the first day. The first day, all those years ago that Jake got his avatar. Oh, how things had changed since then. 

“Where is she?” he asked again, tone just as cold as it was before.

“She’s in the back room, but—” 

The two Na’vi’s pushed by Max, bending down as they moved through the doorway into a smaller more compact hallway. Max hurried after them in a state of panic as Jake refused to shut his mouth, all of his fears taking flight in ugly ways.

“What, you think I wouldn’t have realized what was going on? In case you have forgotten this isn’t my first rodeo. I used to do this and an avatar doesn’t just collapse like that unless a link process is interrupted or something is fucking wrong. So, tell me what the fuck happened!” 

The room opened up in front of them with a single curtain pulled over the area to provide more privacy. Jake could see the outline of Norm’s body behind the curtain bent down and saying something. Max unable to fully find the words to calm Jake down or provide an explanation other than the truth, plucked the blue curtain into his grasp and pulled it aside.

Norm’s head snapped up in their direction, his eyes widening slightly at the site of the two tall Na’vi within the lab. He was wrapping a blanket around your exhausted frame and as the couple’s eyes fell down to the wrangled weak body, both of their shoulders dropped in devastation. The harsh furrow in Jake’s brow fell away and he found himself gripping onto the doorway to stay upright. The sight of you brought an image of Grace in her final hours to the forefront of his mind and it was difficult to swallow.

You sat, your body stuck to the mattress, slumped down as if you couldn’t even sit up. Two or three blankets were pulled up to your chest where wires stuck out connecting to monitors nearby. Jake's ears flickered at the sound of their beeping and found that the numbers of your heart rate and blood pressure should have been stronger.

IVS were hanging up beside you, the large needle lined into your arm. Your skin was ashen, sunken in, all color completely drained with large purple circles pressed along the skin below your eyes. They were barely open and he wouldn’t have believed you were actually alive if it wasn’t for the twitch in your bony finger and the steady beeping of the monitor beside you. 

“She had a seizure while in the link pod. We were able to get them to stop but she is very weak,” Norm answered and stepped back from your crumbled form. One that felt less like you every day. 

“Oh, Great Mother,” Neytiri found herself crying as she moved forward and fell to her knees at the side of the bed. 

She wished to be anywhere but there, but the sight of you had masked all of the discomfort and the rage that was interlaced deep within her bones. Instead, all she could feel was the ache in her chest from the broken looks of her children at your avatar form that had been completely motionless in her son’s arms. She felt herself aching for the soul that was slipping through the fingers of Pandora. Her eyes took in the unfamiliar but familiar face and cried, tears welling up in her widened eyes. She found herself scanning your nose, your closed eyes, the high lift of your cheeks, and the shape of your jaw. It was you, without a doubt. 

Jake was able to find his voice again, this time with a newly added edge to it, “Why was she in the link pod in the first place?” 

“What?” Norm’s eyes narrowed in confusion, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Why was she in there?” Jake was becoming hostile at that point. “If you knew she was sick, if you knew it was this bad, how could you let her keep doing this? Especially with the strain that it already was putting on her weak body.”

“Ma’Jake, please,” Neytiri asked, her voice gently sweeping through the tension of the room, gaining the attention of his rigid eyes. She tilted her head towards you, and they all watched as your head lulled from side to side at the many voices that filled the room. Your breaths were shallow, taking up too much energy that you couldn’t even open your eyes. 

Jake lowered his voice slightly but the edge remained as he glanced back and forth from Norm to Max, “You should have stopped her.” 

“You don’t think we tried? You don’t think we didn’t say something to her every day, warning her of the risks, demanding her to stop?” Max became defensive then as he stepped closer to the towering figure of one of his closest friends. His eyes narrowed, the same worry that filled Jake’s, reflected in his own. “She is not a child anymore.” 

“You mean she’s not your child,” the Olo’eyktan corrected and just like that, all previous feelings were ripped from the room, leaving it in painful silence. 

Both Max and Norm’s heads dropped for a moment as a thought crossed their mind — maybe they hadn’t tried hard enough. Maybe they should have powered down the system even if you ended up hating them. Maybe they should have done more to protect you even when you were never their child, their full responsibility to bear. Maybe just maybe even though you grew up before their eyes into a grown woman, they should have taken into account that it didn’t mean to cut you loose from support and guardianship altogether. 

Max shook his head, almost as if he was going to regret what he was about to say, “No, she’s not.” 

“She may not be yours or technically a kid anymore but when she is living under your roof, you need to have some responsibility. When she is living under your roof, she is still a child,” Jake sighed, feeling the anger start to dissipate as he sent another glance at you, at your human body. At the very body, he hadn’t seen in almost two years, not like this, not this small, this different. You had grown and would be nineteen in the next year and it showed — you had become an adult under everyone's noses. If only you had the ability and the time to make it. “How much time does she have?” 

“We can’t know for sure but based on her state and how weak she is… Weeks? A month or two maybe?” Norm admitted, the state of how he found you in the link pod still pressed firmly into the front of his mind. Your faraway gaze, rigid body, and trembling lips. Your lips shook as if you were asking for time to kiss you and grant you treatment. You were barely there and laying in that damn bed, you were barely there. 

“She doesn’t have a few months, not with the sky people invading. We could have serious trouble on our hands in two months. The sky people are coming, they are getting closer every day and I need a plan. A plan to protect my family, my people, and my land. I need a plan and I am not going to put a sick young woman in the line of fire. I won’t.”

Jake shook his head and stepped further into the room, looking around at the medical supplies and the neutral-colored walls. The sterile smell filled his nose. It all reminded him of the V.A. hospital when there was a big hole blown through the middle of his life. That’s what the lab reminded him of and it sent a shiver down his spine. You couldn't stay there, not like this. He wouldn’t allow it because whatever the fuck they were doing wasn’t doing shit. Even with medicine and science on their side, it had done nothing. He wasn’t about to lose another person because of his actions — he wouldn’t. 

“She can’t stay here,” he suddenly said, eyes set on his wife, “We can’t leave her here. I won’t.” 

Max stepped forward trying to get closer to you but Neytiri stood blocking him, “Jake, you can’t just—”

“You’ve done enough.” 

The two scientists’ mouths dropped, and both of their glares widened at the tall Olo’eyktan — a man who day one had never thrown caution to the wind in his life but since becoming a leader had taken on a new role to be deliberate in his actions, think accordingly, and communicate in a way to not piss other people off. It was like that persona was gone from that room for a moment and instead it was an overprotective parent who thought they had all the answers. He was bossy, haywire, and everything that resembled a father.

Somehow his cold tone and his rapid decision weren’t justifiable enough for Max. He had seen the impossible, and as a scientist, he had detested and forced himself to not believe it. Max had seen the impossible in Jake, in the consciousness transfer, in the balance of the world that had managed to change one man's life. He had seen the impossible with the Omatikaya people but at that moment with your life hanging in that very balance, he could only look to science, in the concreteness that was medicine.

“Jake, listen to me, she is sick. This isn’t just another dress-up game where she is going to run off into the forest to become something else. She won’t survive this.” 

“Are you fucking serious?” he snapped, eyes narrowing even further until they resembled golden crescents like the morning sun that crept through their tent every morning, “This has never been a game and you know that. To me, it wasn't and it sure as hell isn't to her. If you saw her out there, the way she is when she is in that body, you would know that. Except that I think a part of you already does, knows how much she wants it, and that scares the hell out of you. Especially since there is nothing else you can do for her, and it sucks. It really does... but do you hear me when I say we can do something? The people can save her.” 

“What like you saved Grace,” Max shot back, the words cruel and unnecessary and he watched as Jake’s face went slack. For a moment the short scientist reveled in the image, “I know it has happened, the unexplainable. Because what you witnessed... what happened to you was the unexplainable, but Jake that's what? A one in a million. You're the exception, we all know that, but she's not you. I don't like the odds, not when I have seen it. Her virus, her illness, and I am deciding to combat it with medicine. I am choosing science’s side.” 

Neytiri felt her teeth bare, sink into her lower lip, fangs glimmering from the white lights of the room. As a growl left her throat, she stepped forward protectively towards her mate, “And your medicine has done nothing. It’s done nothing!” 

At that point with two pointed gazes locked down on him, Max couldn’t help but glance your way knowing that every word they spoke was true. Any worse, you could be slipping away, out of their fingers, by the end of the week. If you hadn’t been getting better with the months of treatment they had been doing, the antibiotic and the fluids, what else could they do to help you? There wasn’t another option, and he knew right then science or not this was your last chance.

Norm looked from you to Jake and within that mutual stare, they shared an understanding, a silent understanding. Stepping forward, his palm fell to Max’s shoulder, “This is her only chance."

"Norm—"

"She’s not going to get better because she hasn't yet and you know that. This is her last chance. And yes, god forbid, Eywa forbid that it doesn’t work, that we somehow lose her... at least it will be on her own terms and in a place, she’d want to spend her last moments.” 

The words everyone had been avoiding were out in the air and it struck a chord, one that left them all in silence and complete denial. Only, because no one expected this. When you had been given your avatar six months prior, no one thought to think this is where you would end up, chained to a bed with the only thing to save you being that body. No one thought either that you would have fallen in love with the forest, the people, and the eldest son of the Olo'eyktan either, but you did. It happened. It all had happened and now it was beginning to unravel in front of them and suddenly they were being faced with a choice.

You were dying and the sky people were coming. Another war was soon to take place and Jake and Neytiri were making plans for the future Olo'eyktan. Neteyam would be Olo'eyktan one day whether you would be there to see it or not. It all was happening and none of them would have thought that when it was, you would be in the middle of a whispered conversation with the Mother herself.

Max wiped his eyes from behind his glasses and sent one last longing look to you. You once had been the little girl who'd sit on his lap for hours staring at a digital image of an avatar's brain with complete awe. Now there you lay, all grown up and possibly about to get the life you had always wanted. Your choice had been made up about the life you wanted as soon as you had entered that avatar body. And your choice would be his choice.

“Just, if you’re going to do it… The consciousness transfer, do it sooner rather than later. If you want her to survive it, you will do it as soon as you can. She's already lost a lot of energy.” 

It was the last thing anyone said and as Jake nodded to Max, reassuringly, his tough-guy act dropped immediately. Almost like they had come to a mutual understanding: one father to another.

From that moment on, there was a continuous movement of people in and out of the room. All bustling as they worked to disconnect your monitors, pull out the IVS, wrap your body up in blankets to keep you warm against the cold air, and secure a mask tightly over your face. Then just like that, you were ready and leaving as if it was always how it was destined to be. You, leaving. Norm and Max each took you in for one last time as Jake and Neytiri exited the lab, both hoping they would never have to be there again.

Jake couldn’t help but stare down at you, so small in his arms, so unlike the warrior he had gotten the privilege to watch the last six months. You had transformed just as he once had, gaining the wings like an Ikran, and you would fly away, not daring to look back. Evident in the lingering glances you sent his son and how you absorbed every part of the forest, you would give anything to be transferred into your other body. Then more so as with each night you spent in the forest, in your avatar body, the longer you would stay awake. Like you were hoping to forever prolong the linking process to that one still moment in time. Now, after all this time, you could have it.

As Jake climbed on his direhorse, he heard the shift in your breath along with seeing the small tremble in your body — the first sign of movement he had seen at all. Glancing down at you again, he found your eyes softly staring up at him, through heavy lids. He glanced at Neytiri then back down at you, taking your tiny cold hand in his own. He stared at his five fingers and compared them to yours as your soft voice filled his ears. 

“Don’t let Neteyam see me like this.” 

“She’s very weak,” Mo’at expressed, honestly as her fingers danced across your closed eyes.

From the moment you were brought back to the village, in your human form, it was like you were finally awake. Finally, seeing the world as more than a recurrent fever dream. It was a world you had only ever witnessed through another pair of eyes and someone else's skin. Somehow the forest had become so much more than a training ground to you over that time. However, you realized then, that no matter how many times you had seen it before, it would never top being able to see it with your own eyes. The ones you had been born with.

It was a dream that had been painted on your soul from the moment you had come onto this planet and as you stared up at the luminescent green foliage while you rode on the back of the direhorse, you felt as if your life was complete. Like Eywa was watching over you, reaching out her arms and promising you that whatever happened you would be okay.

Staring up past the trees to the black-coated sky littered with stars and planets, you felt a new kind of peace wash over you. Your breath had evened out and you blinked slowly, entirely entranced by the skyline scattered with constellations. The constellations that resembled the ivory spots speckled across his nose and his body. That's all you could think about — the ivory-speckled sky and how it reminded you of the glow that would overtake him at night.

Please, Great Mother, protect Neteyam and his ivory-scattered face. 

As soon as you got back, Neytiri distracted the kids, allowing Jake to get you to Mo’at without anyone seeing. Partly to prevent panic from appearing in the village, but mostly to stick to your one and only request. Don’t let Neteyam see me like this. Those six words served as a confirmation to Jake. A confirmation that once again only served the greater suspicion that there was more going on under the surface. Deeper feelings were involved here whether the two of you had admitted it, and Jake wasn't sure how he hadn't seen it before. But maybe he had.

The lingering gazes. The light touches. Neteyam sneaking out of the tent at night, for months. His attitude suddenly improving. He was always cautious around you when Jake was close by as if he was afraid of the Olo'eyktan connecting the dots from the softness he displayed to you or the look in his eyes, which was less than innocent. It all had been there but for months, Jake Sully had been turning a blind eye to it all. Despite his duty as Olo'eyktan to accept the arranged marriage that would be pushed onto his son along with all the other responsibilities, he let the interactions and the feelings play out in plain sight.

Now, he was going to willingly do what any Olo'eyktan would and protect the last wishes of a member of his clan. He was making a split decision based on the six words he never thought you would have openly admitted. That it was and always had been Neteyam for you. How it was the one son of his that had been promised a throne and a chosen future mate, the one son you couldn't have willingly. Somehow it filled him with a sense of deja vu, as if when he saw you he was looking at a mere reflection of the person he used to be. Alongside that, a repeated history. The outsider and the chief's chosen child. Somehow under all of his turning a blind eye, you and Neteyam had not only become Jake and Neytiri but were being torn apart for it.

For a while, Jake stood in the corner of the room, Neytiri appearing after a while closing off the tent from any onlookers. The majority who would have been her own children. She stood next to Jake, her hand comfortingly finding a place on his shoulder.

They had watched as Mo'at closed her eyes and let the feelings of Eywa guide her. She took in many deep breaths as mumbled words escaped her mouth in the form of tongues. Then just as quickly as it had begun, her eyes were reopening, leaving her meeting with Eywa as Jake liked to call it. She glanced at the couple before her and spouted what he could only hear as bullshit. She’s very weak. 

“Well help her goddamn it!” 

“Jake!” Neytiri hissed as the tone of his voice emitted not only a glare on her face but a chip in her tone. 

From outside the tent, four dark statues lingered in the dark, near the side of the healing tent. Light poured out of the bottom bathing Kiri and Lo’ak’s faces in slivers of warm light. They lay on their fronts, chins leaning along their hands as they held their breaths, desperate to unravel what they were looking at. They could only see the outline of their grandmother, the Tsahik’s side from the confined view they had. With Spider and Tuk sitting on the other side of Lo'ak, the eight-year-old hugged her knees to her chest in a state of confusion. When her parents left, she had spent the whole time berating her older siblings with questions about you — were you okay? What had exactly happened? Were you coming back?

All questions with answers none of the older siblings had.

Neteyam crouched on the other side of Kiri, leaning his ear close to the side of the tent, trying to understand the mumblings from inside. His heart had shattered and he felt as if he had been cut open, exposing everything he was feeling to the gaping air. It made his stomach twist at the thought and he was starting to feel sick at the thought.

The sight of your avatar collapsing in his arms was still very present in his mind — as well as how his father had avoided him the second he returned forbidding anyone from seeing you, the other you. Your human body and the current body that held everything that made you, you. It was hard to imagine you any other way. For six straight months, he was memorizing every detail of your blue features just in case his golden irises would be deracinated from his face. Now all he could think about was what you really looked like, what you were born to look like.

Lo’ak leaned closer to his sister, voice breaking and coming out in low mumbles, “What did she say?” 

“Shh,” she hushed back, bumping her brother in the side, harsher than she intended too. 

“She’s weak, that’s what Mo’at is saying,” Neteyam spoke up softly, the words acting as needles as they ripped holes into his skin, “She doesn’t know if they can save her.” 

Kiri glanced up at Neteyam and felt her shoulders drop disappointedly as his expression came to light for her. How pain-stricken he was and how utterly shattered his voice sounded as it echoed in her ears. She felt Eywa there at that moment, filling her entire body, as she witnessed firsthand how strongly her brother felt for you. It had blinded him out of nowhere and a pit formed in his stomach at how sudden it all was. Over time, that dread and that fear had drifted off into the wind as if they had rolled off his back while flying through the sky.

Then there was you. How you had become a slight wreck over your feelings for the future Olo'eyktan. She could still feel your own confession lingering in the back of her mind. How shy you had gotten, how ashamed you had been when she had found out you liked Neteyam, possibly loved him.

Somehow under all of the excruciating lectures, stubborn-filled disputes, and contemptuous glares, two souls had found one another, deep within the forest under the phosphorescent green of the trees. 

She blinked and looked away, letting the prospect of the two of you fade away, leaving nothing but an imprint of dust in its wake. They all instead directed their attention back to the tent, ears twitching in unison and tails swishing anxiously as their father’s voice filled the air. 

“She’s dying, don’t you see that? One of our own is dying,” Jake pleaded then, his anger melted away like icicles in the warm temperature and all that was left was a puddle of desperation and fear. “So, please help her. Do the consciousness transfer. Do it, if it means the possibility of saving her life."

As Mo’at glanced down from your shivering human form to the empty blue vessel beside you, she knew what he was asking of her. He was right and it would have to be in Eywa’s hands now. The very hands you had tried to get yourself in weeks ago when you appeared in the doorway of her tent pleading and begging for her to consider. To think about your request, ask Eywa to guide you and herself to an answer. Tsahik, without much consideration or even listening to Eywa's plan or will, denied your request. Even when Jake Sully, Toruk Makto, had once come to her with the same request, and even when she saw so much of him in you, including a strong heart, she denied the request.

When Mo’at looked at you, she saw a young woman. A young woman with all the reasons and desires in the world to ask for this request and to ask for the opportunity to change her life. Your soul's existence depended on the opportunity to live life fully as a Na’vi, and That’s why Tsahik couldn’t accept it. Your whole life.

A young and prestigious life she didn’t want to be cut short not when there was still so much time. She feared that Eywa’s will wouldn’t be what was hoped by the rest of the clan, her family, so she denied you. For fear of taking the light out of your eyes as well as the light out of her grandchildren. 

“She’s weak so we must do it tonight. The more strength she has the better,” she finally spoke looking from Jake to her dutiful daughter, “Alert the village. We need everyone, do you understand? We need all the support we can for this. An hour and then we go.” 

The couple, the clan's leaders, the two everyone looked to in a crisis felt the weight on their shoulders deepen. Anxiety formed, pushing down on their tracheas as it all began to feel too real too fast. But panic couldn't happen. Freaking out couldn't happen. There wasn't enough time for it and there sure as hell wasn't room for it.

Jake took Neytiri’s hand in his and walked towards the entrance of the tent, all strength, and will of his own feelings lost. As they stepped out, the tent's flap falling shut behind them, a rush of air fell from his mouth. Neytiri, able to feel his energy deep within her bones, wrapped her arms around his broad torso. Her chin found a place against his shoulder and they stared forward at the rest of the village, the forest, their home, and everything in between. They listened to one another’s hearts and stood there for a brief moment, letting their breaths linger into one before Neytiri unwrapped herself around him. 

As she did, they both were startled by the sound of rustling as well as a soft groan of a very familiar prominent voice. They shared a look with one another, communicating the same conclusion as they stepped around the tent to where the sound had come from. It wasn't a surprise to find their four children squatted and laying around in the dirt, ears pressed close to the tent. Suddenly all their movements stopped as they felt the shadows looming over them, blocking the moonlight and concealing them in darkness.

All four heads then tilted cautiously and were met by the scariness of their mother, who stood with a hip popped out and arms crossed over her chest. Her stare only hardened further when she found her youngest, no more than eight years old, sitting there, a pained expression on the child's face. Neytiri looked over her shoulder at Jake but he merely shrugged as if he wasn't surprised at all by the sight in front of him. He held his arms to her; a silent signal that he was leaving the situation for her to handle.

Inhaling, her lips parted, ready to scold them not only for eavesdropping on a conversation not meant for their ears but for letting Tuk hear every word, something she could barely process at her age. Before Neytiri could get a word out, she found her youngest staring up at her, large eyes widened with fear and sadness, bottom lip quivering.

Tuk’s eyes filled with tears and slowly began to fall, drenching her innocent face, “Is Y/N going to be okay? What happened to her?” 

The other three older siblings’ bodies stiffened unwillingly, ears dropping back while their own theories and assumptions were formed. But even with their thoughts and concerns, they all found themselves peering up to their mother, who seemed to be all-knowing and often had the right thing to say in moments like this. It was a mother's intuition and they all stared at her, asking for an answer that was far better than any of their own. They all held their breath as they watched the glare melt away completely from her face while she opened her arms welcomingly for her youngest child. 

“Oh, my prrnen (baby),” Neytiri cooed as Tuk reached up to be pulled up into her mother's arms. As her small innocent face met her mother's neck, her tear bubbles collapsed, letting her salty tears fall freely upon Neytiri's skin. “Know this, that whatever happens, Y/N will be okay. She will be at peace one way or another. I don't know what's going to happen, but that is not something for us to worry about right now. Our Great Mother has a plan and whatever comes of it, everything will be okay. Do you understand me, maite (my daughter)?” 

Hands rubbing softly at Tuk’s back, her gaze fell to the rest of her children and their anxious eyes. They looked to her as if a mother could solve the world’s most significant problems and she wished at that moment she could. She wished she could take all of your pain, all of your sickness, all of the limitations your body held away. She wanted more than anything with her children’s eyes boring up at her that she could promise you life to prevent their suffering.

“The ritual is in an hour,” Jake said then, gaining the three older children’s attention as he tried to wrap his head around how he wanted to handle this situation. He couldn’t bear the idea of them being at the consciousness transfer and watching with the possibility that it wouldn't work. He couldn’t watch every hope and every fiber of light in their bodies fade away at the sight of what could be a final send-off. “Whatever you need to do, I suggest you do it now because there is a chance you won't be able to later.” 

“Can we see her?” Kiri asked then, sitting up to hug her knees to her chest, voice pleading, “Please? Can we just sit with her and talk to her. Dad, I can’t go the ritual without having said—” 

“Fine,” he interrupted her, his heart constricting with grief at the sound of his daughter’s broken voice, “Fine, yes, you can see her. But none of you will be at the ritual. Do you read me? I don’t want you attending the transfer.” 

In perfect sync all of their eyes widened in shock, ears pulling back in dejection as their father's command fell straight into their laps. Lo’ak sat up quickly, in complete disbelief, “But—” 

“No, but anything. I don’t want any of you there, do you understand?” 

That edge had returned in his voice and Jake took two seconds each to drill his gaze into his children, trying to make it stick within their minds, so that no matter how many times the thought appeared to go against his words, the remembrance of his stone cold glare would stop them. He couldn't be sure that it would work, especially as he caught the look on Lo'ak's face. It was the same look he gave whenever he was given orders or asked to do something against his own troublesome consciousness. It was passive, him nodding his head as if he was listening though he never took anything serious his father said. It was the same exact look Jake was getting then.

“Do — you — understand?” 

He spoke slower and finally got the response he wanted. All three of his older children nodded their heads while Lo’ak verbally respond with, “Yes, sir.” 

Neteyam could only stare up past Jake, huffing quietly. It was loud enough to catch his father’s attention anyway. Jake narrowed his gaze down at his oldest but the young warrior wouldn't falter. Instead, Neteyam matched him with the same expression.

No gunmetal would warp at that moment as Neteyam felt every inch of anger and frustration ball together. The order for them to stay away during the ceremony left him astonished and pissed off. His father still saw them as children and felt like he had this responsibility to protect them. But other than Tuk, none of them needed his protection. They had grown up and that was something he obviously couldn't accept.

Somehow it only filled Neteyam with more spite because there was nothing left that needed to be protected. Every innocence had been stolen and he couldn’t remember the last time he had been treated like a child, free of any responsibilities. For years he had been viewed and trained like a serviceman, kept on a shelf until he was needed. His whole life he had been ordered around; Go pick up an extra couple of hours of training. Watch over your brother. Learn how to use a gun. Take on extra challenges with other warriors. Heck, marry and mate with a woman of our choosing.

They had every part of him. They had taken every piece of him and he had willingly let them. For years he had been ordered around as if he was incapable of thinking for himself. In reality, they couldn't afford him to think and make decisions for themselves because it would go against what was best for the clan.

Some things never changed though. He stood just outside the healing tent, where the Tsahik was trying to save the only woman he has ever had feelings for, and he was expected to follow commands again. He was supposed to let them put him back on the shelf and wait for further instructions. Your life was hanging in the balance and they were asking him to be absent from the ritual that would decide what would happen. He couldn’t do that.

His hard-set gaze met Jake’s, refusing to back down. He watched then as the Toruk Makto dismissed him and instead sent one more look to each of his children. He nodded in the direction of the healing tent, “Go on.” 

One by one, they all stood silently and began to approach the tent, with dread being the only thing evidently strewn across their faces. Neytiri slowly set Tuk down, wiping what was left of her tears, that motherly smile occupying her face as she watched the rest of her children approach the tent. As Neteyam stepped by them though, the thought of you the only thing guiding him forward, Jake’s eyes found Neytiri’s. She hadn’t seemed to understand what he was trying to say, but she turned to give him her full attention anyway at the obnoxious way he cleared his throat. 

Her ears flickered curiously then as his stare frantically began to flicker back and from their oldest son to her. Lo’ak and Spider had stepped into the tent with Tuk waiting by the doorway, clearly contemplating if she wanted to go inside herself. Neytiri then found herself looking at Neteyam who was getting close to the entrance. She felt the thought kick in at what Jake was referring to or rather what you had asked of him. Him was the key term, but Neytiri felt her brows draw forward on her forehead in exasperation at his clear hesitation. The Toruk Makto had no problem lecturing his sons until their ears bled but being able to break the worst news and offer comfort to them might as well have been foreign, especially in their older years. He was terrified of it and Neytiri found it utterly ridiculous.

As Jake didn’t show any signs of calling out to Neteyam, she huffed out and shook her head at her husband, narrowing her gaze at him. The words very bad were communicated vexingly through her eye contact. She sighed then as she called out to Neteyam, “Maitan (my son)!”

Neteyam’s ears perked up at the sound of his mother’s voice and just as his hand grasped around the tent flap, so close to where you were, he pulled back to face her. She waved him over, and with frustration and confusion, he stepped away from the tent. Kiri, who was just about to enter, noticed the interaction of their mother pulling him aside and decided to wait, in favor of watching the conversation play out instead.

“What?” Neteyam questioned, the sharpness of his tongue not unnoticed.

Neytiri’s initial reaction was to smack him upside the head for it, but she held back knowing the sharpness was nothing but a reflection of how he was feeling. He wasn’t trying to be difficult or disrespectful. He just didn't have the energy or the care anymore to be any other way.

Neytir's gaze softened, the same one she had spared moments ago as she clutched her youngest in her arms. Neteyam noticed it right away, the look she was giving him. He would never admit it, but he knew his mother better than the rest of his siblings, and at the sight of her eyebrows drawing together softly, he felt his stomach drop. The lines between them displayed feelings of stress and disappointment. She wore it across her face — how badly she wished to offer him the moon and the stars. 

As her hand reached for his shoulder, that’s when he figured it out for sure. Why she had stopped him from entering, her shared looks with Jake, the way she was trying to steer him from the tent. It all made sense and a low growl took everyone by surprise as he peered over his shoulder at Kiri and the opening of the tent.

When he looked back at his mother, he felt his fists clench at his sides, “She doesn't want to see me. That's what you are going to tell me, aren't you? You pulled me aside because she told you she doesn't want to see me. ” 

“Yes,” Neytiri admitted slowly. 

A pin dropped and within a beat of time, as if only a second had passed, Neteyam resurfaced but angrier and more annoyed than before. He stepped back out of her grasp, and her hand was left dangling in the air as his tail whipped back and forth aggressively.

“No. Fuck that!"

“Neteyam!” she hissed, taking a hold of his arm and yanking him back despite his best efforts to escape her. He didn’t dare overpower his mother though or do anything that would disrespect her. Instead, he let her hold his arm too tightly, while her glare drilled holes into the side of his head.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish more than anything that it didn’t, but who would we be if we denied her wishes.” 

Her wishes. 

She spoke as if you were already dead and he felt himself tense under her words, his entire body becoming rigid. He closed his eyes for a moment as if trying to breathe through the pang in his chest. To calm himself down, he held his breath deep within his lungs for almost a minute before he released it. When he did, he felt the heartbreak creep up within his body until it was past his throat and on the tip of his tongue. Then he broke right in front of her.

“Her wishes? Do you even hear yourself right now, sa’nok (mother)? You're acting as if she has already died and is with Eywa. How can you just... No, damn her wishes because if there is a chance that I could lose her I am not going to stand out here and let her... I can’t just stand here and let her go into that ritual without telling her how I feel.” 

“It was not my choice, ma‘eveng (my child),” she whispered cooly, as Neteyam was starting to appear frantic.

The choice isn’t mine to bear.

He clenched his eyes shut again, suddenly stained with the memory of you standing within the mauve tendrils, beautiful face barring every raw emotion of your soul to him. Tears suspended in your eyes for a second as he felt every possible pain rip open in his chest, a pain so horrible it let his flaws and deceptions take over. He had hurt you right back and he knew just as everyone once would that he was no warrior. No perfect son. No perfect soldier. No man worth bearing the sins of the world. Your words crept back into his mind.

Then I will bear it. 

Neteyam, the way I feel about you is consuming.

“This is fucking bullshit!”

Just as Neytiri was going to comfort her son, try and offer any encouraging words she could, she felt his arm be pulled from her grasp. He was stepping away from her and her motherly gaze that was slowly suffocating him. He stared hard at his father as he passed him, sarcastically thanking him for all of his help in this whole thing, before stalking away in the opposite direction of the healing tent, his family, and you. 

They all watched him go and Kiri found herself stepping away from the tent in favor of going after her older brother. She nodded at her parents reassuringly, “I got it.” 

She took off in his direction, picking up her pace to catch up with him. As Jake and Neytiri watched them go, she huffed over at Jake, crossing her arms over her chest intently. That worried line in between her brows had formed again as her mind began to ramble with questions if what she was doing for her children and her people were right. Neteyam was the one she thought about long and hard, wondering if what they were doing was right. She felt like she had failed him or rather they all had failed him. As no one had ever made it easy on him from the moment he was born. There was not one sole point in time where they considered things from his point of view, his life, his future, or how once he had been full of childhood dreams. Instead, they just deemed them as improbable outcomes.

It was as if Jake could read her mind, all starting from that stressful line on her forehead between her brows. “He can’t be there. He will never forgive himself if he watches her….” 

“And he’ll never forgive us if she somehow dies and we never let him say goodbye.” 

Kiri chased after her brother, letting her parents' voices fade behind her. Her eyes narrowed at him as he walked in front of her or rather stomped in front of her. His braids swung from side to side, his back muscles tense and rigid. She could see every twitch of annoyance and frustration in his form, displayed on his back like any true man would — never demonstrating it out loud or through words but rather through body language.

Picking up her steps, she called out to him but he ignored her as he made it through the village. He was making a move for the forest, but Kiri knew that if he did disappear into the lush greenery, who knew when he would be back. There wasn't time for it.

“Neteyam, stop!” she finally yelled, firmly grabbing onto his elbow and yanking him back. 

He hissed at the way her nails dug into the skin of his forearm and let his feet come to a stop. Staring forward at the forest, his means of escape, a loud sigh fell from his lips. Unable to push the pain off his face, he refused to look at her, and instead tilted his head to the side, his broken gaze falling to the ground.

“What? What do you want?” 

“You can’t just storm off like this,” Kiri admitted, slightly out of breath from chasing after him, “Not right now and not like this. We need to stick together when something like this happens, so you can't just leave. Because believe it or not, everyone looks to you as much as they look to Dad during a crisis. Your presence is important, now more than ever. That, and I don't think you should be alone.” 

Scoffing he shook his head, denying her admission. More so, he wouldn’t stand there and let her give him that same pitying stare his mother couldn’t wipe from her face. “The fact that you would use my future title against me right now, are you serious? Tell, me Kiri other than that the people need me why I should stay. Y/N doesn’t want to see me, so what’s the point?” 

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Kiri’s hand fell from around him, suddenly feeling angered by his words and his tone as if he was brushing you off like it was the only thing he could do when around other people, “I mean what the hell is wrong with you? You can’t even admit that you have feelings for her, can you? Seriously? Nothing, at all? Neteyam, she could die, she could not survive this transfer and you still can’t fucking say it out loud.” 

His shoulders dropped, her voice cutting through him like a knife cuts through flesh, with resistance but then giving away. The more things she said, the easier it was to get through to him past the bullshit and the fear. Exhaling, he finally turned around to face her, his little sister, and felt his words get caught at the sight of how sad she appeared. Her eyes displayed every form of grief and anger, and it was all pointed straight at him. 

“I can't,” he responded, his confession wearing her tight expression away, “If I say it, it will become real. Everything these past six months will be right there in front of me. Every night spent together, every argument about her training, every reaction, and feeling she brought out of me. Except if I admit my feelings for her, it would also mean that I have to admit that I am losing her. I will be admitting that she is sick and dying, and I can’t accept that Kiri. I can’t..” 

Kiri stared up at her brother, eyes wide and wallowing in unshed tears as every friction and pause in his voice spoke to everything he was saying. He was barring a part of himself to her at that moment which he had never done before. He was looking past the perfection that was expected of him and let his insecurities ring out in the air and while it was killing him to his very core, a part of him felt relief. 

“Kiri, she’s not mine. She never was and I didn't have the thought to even ask. We could never be together so why even say anything to her, but I guess now, it doesn't even fucking matter, does it? All that duty and expectations bullshit means nothing because she is slipping away right in front of us. And now that I realize that, she doesn't even want to fucking see me."

She sighed, one that was brought out from deep within, as she took a hold of his arm again. This time gently almost like if she pressed any harder, he would break. Or he would get scared, sink back into his shell, and close himself off from the rest of the world.

“Neteyam—”

“What is that?” he shouted, pupils dilated and crazed as his eyes became drenched in tears, he wished would never fall. 

“Neteyam, please,” Kiri cried then, gripping his arm harder to get his gold eyes to lock with hers, to get him to calm down as his breathing was erratic pulling and prodding at his chest as if he were trying to self-destruct right before her eyes. “You need to try and understand what she is asking of you.” 

“I won't do this. I have to see her.” 

She shushed him then, his cries falling silent upon his tongue, “Brother, you have never seen her like this, do you understand that? For six months, you have only seen Y/N in her avatar body and as one of us. You have never seen her in this true form, in her human body.” 

“I don’t care about that, Kiri, you know that,” he replied, brows drawing down on his face as he tucked his bottom lip in between his front teeth. 

“Okay, but she’s also sick, very sick, and I can’t imagine that the last time she'd want you to see her would be like this. Not as this weak, shell of a person she doesn’t even recognize as herself anymore,” Kiri explained carefully, her tears starting to fall without her even realizing as she gripped harder onto Neteyam, “It sounds like she knows what could happen, what’s at risk here. It’s not that she doesn’t want to see you. It’s that, she would rather have the last time you saw her be from earlier. She’d be okay with the fact it was in the forest, in your arms, and in her avatar body because it would mean you would remember her that way, at that moment.”

Her words had struck him in the chest harder than any blow he had ever gotten in his entire life. It was worse than when he had collided with one of the floating mountains on his first Ikran ride, or the time when he had gotten the shit beat out of him early on his training days. It was even worse than when Lo’ak had beat the shit out of him hours ago. In fact, it felt as if it was worse than all of those things combined.

She’d be okay with the fact that it was in the forest, in your arms, and in her avatar body.

Neteyam bit down on his lower lip, reopening the wound that Lo’ak had put there earlier as every single word of that one sentence made him recoil. If the last time he saw you, talked to you, was in front of that tree screaming at you as you finally told him how you felt. The way I feel about you is consuming. No, it couldn't be. That would be complete and utter bullshit. He sure as hell wouldn’t stand by and let the last time you saw him be there, under that tree not only rejecting your heart but his own feelings. 

Neteyam had been selfless his whole life until it had come to you and he wasn’t about to return to the person he was before you, refusing to listen to his own feelings and what he wanted. At that moment he was choosing to be selfish, to choose himself and to choose you over some last dying wish. He knew it was wrong, so wrong, but it didn’t stop him from stalking the healing tent for the next half hour, watching as each person came and went. His bottom lip at that point was rebleeding and torn to shreds but he needed something, some sort of distraction from the fears that were starting to take over his body.

There were fifteen minutes until you were going to be transported to the site and another fifteen before the ritual would start. Neteyam watched from afar he as Mo’at walked out of the tent, her hands full and her gaze seemingly distracted. She disappeared far into the village and Neteyam snuck out from around the side of the tent he had been standing for nearly a half hour. Having the darkness to disappear into, he slipped into the tent unnoticed. With no one following him, he close the front lapels of the tent and turned slowly on his heels.

He felt his entire body freeze, hands clenching at his sides while his breathing suddenly sped up. Dim lanterns encased the room, emitting a soft glow and he felt all sanity escape him at the sight of the avatar body that had been in his grasp only two hours before. The only you he had ever known. It looked so cold without your animated expressions, that familiar pinched line in between your eyebrows, or the tiny divots of your dimples that appeared when you smiled. It was you and had been the you he had given himself to completely but at that moment it wasn’t you at all. Its eyes were closed and already having been prepared for the ritual, the body was wrapped up in blankets to be transferred.

His eyes then took in the much smaller form laid a few feet away from it, all bundled up, chest rising and falling with each deep breath that was inhaled. He cautiously walked forward and as the soft glow brushed along his face, he felt as if his body was at a standstill, all air pulled from his body.

Completely unmoving, he finally saw you for the first time — the real you and his entire world was shifted on its axis. You were all soft lashes, smooth skin, and glistening full lips. With your eyes fluttered shut, he wondered what color your eyes were, the opening of your soul. He wanted you to open them. He wanted to see if they matched the ones he had been staring into for six months. Other than that, the slope of your nose was smaller and your eyebrows were different, more prominent, and the markings on your skin were completely dissimilar to the ivory specks he was so used to admiring.

Somehow though, even with an entirely different person in front of him, you were entirely familiar — all of his favorite parts of you were the same, and just as you had looked earlier that night underneath the mauve tree, there in that tent and in that body, you were ethereal. And you were his even not officially, you were. Ma’ Y/N.

Tears once again resurfaced after the countless times he had reeled them back in that day. Slowly, he sunk down onto his knees beside you and listened to the way you breathed, trying to memorize the sound of it for as long as he could. Glancing down to your side, he found his eyes flickering with interest at the sight of your hand, limp across the blanket. Five fingers, smaller than his own, just as your other always had been. Staring down at it, he couldn’t help himself and before he realized it, he was reaching for it with his own. Engulfing your smaller one in his, he watched as it slipped into his with ease as if it was meant to be there. He felt a type of warmth fill his chest then as your hand twitched in his. 

Tilting his head, he looked back up to your face and found himself taken aback at the sight of two small doe-eyes peering up at him. They were so elegant and nothing like he had expected but somehow he would commit them to his memory then and there. They scanned over his face like it was the first time you’d ever seen him and he felt his heart rate speed up when they had narrowed slightly. Your brows knitted together to bring back that pinched look he had just been reminiscing about seconds before.

The sight of you staring at him felt almost scrutinizing and based on that furrow in your brow and the slight frown that occupied your glistening and completely temptatious lips, this was without a doubt you. He knew then that it didn’t matter which body you were in, which form whether human or avatar, it would always feel like this. With you, he would always feel this. 

“Hm, so this is you. Well it's nice to finally meet you, Y/N Y/L/N, all of you," he said suddenly, voice low and so soft it comforted you in more ways than one,

A few moments ago when you had felt a sudden pressure on your hand and the warmth of calloused skin, you couldn’t help but stir from the sleep that had suddenly overtaken you. You didn’t know who to expect when you opened your eyes, but it definitely wasn’t Neteyam. You never thought it could be but as you looked up and adjusted to the light, sure enough, it was.

He was there, staring down at you just as clearly as he had been in the forest among the mauve tendrils of the Tree of Souls. At first, you couldn’t deny how the feeling of his hand wrapped around yours resembled a hug and all the consolation in the world you needed. However, despite the affectionate look about him you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing there. How he could have been there when you deliberately had said he wasn't allowed to be. You didn’t want him to see you like this and definitely didn't ask for him to come and see all your insecurities looming over you just before the consciousness transfer.

That was when the annoyance set in, evidently by the furrowing together of your eyebrows and the downward curve of your lips. You stared up at him, not knowing if you even had it in you to speak to him. He chuckled out, hand squeezing yours, feeling as if you had captivated him completely at that moment.

“Look, I can tell by the way you're staring at me right now, that you're angry I'm here."

Your lips parted as if you were going to reply, and you watched as Neteyam leaned closer as if he needed to hear your voice. The reassurance that it was still you in front of him, the same person. But as you inhaled, he could feel the way you were struggling to even do that, breath.

"Nete— "

His hand squeezed yours again, reassuringly, his unshed tears were so clear to you then, like uncut glass in the soft lighting from the lanterns. “No, don't. Don't say anything. You have already said everything you needed to. You had your chance, now it's my turn. It’s my turn to talk.” 

With his eyes earnestly staring down into yours, you exhaled the breath you were holding and let your chest relax, parted lips closing with ease. You nodded then, letting the pinched look leave your face as if you were alleviating his anxiety with it. It was his turn then to breathe, his words jumbled across his tongue, adding weight to his mouth as he couldn’t dare look away from you. Finally, as you offered him an encouraging smile, he felt all of that weight be lifted off. 

“Look, I know you didn’t want me here not like this and especially not now, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave things the way they were. I wouldn’t do that to us, Y/N, because you deserve more than that,” he said, stumbling slightly while completely worried that everything was coming out wrong. But based on how it felt so right in his chest and the tears gathering in your eyes, he knew it was more than enough. "I don't know what's going to happen but I do know that you deserve more finality than that because you're everything. How you make me feel is everything and I just needed you to know that.”

His eyes were soft, looking at you as if it really were true, that you were everything. That you were the entire world, his entire world. Fully in that tiny spindle of time, it was like he was finally unveiling his entire self to you — every piece, sliver, and makeup of who he was was reflected in his eyes. No more walls, no more guarding or holding it all inside. There at that moment, it was the real Neteyam Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan staring back at you. 

Curling your lips into a small smile, not enough to show your teeth, you could taste the tears that were slipping down from the inner corners of your eyes, finding a place within your smile line. With batted breath, you watched his eyes trace them to only find yours again. Relief filled him at that moment at the sight of them streaming down your face because they weren’t a sign of heartache, grief, or mortification of the situation. Most importantly they weren’t a reflection of fear or doubt about what was to come — it was as if you were completely content in your point in life right there with his hand wrapped around yours. No, what was inevitably laced within those pretty tears of yours was a complete abundance of love.

Neteyam felt as if that look had reached past his chest, taken the pieces of his heart graciously and purposefully, took them, and then, with the warmest touch, put them back together again. It was like Eywa’s plan for him wasn’t to become his father’s soldier or to save the Omatikaya from the invading enemies. His will, his purpose was to be here with you, like this. 

Leaning forward, you felt his palm connect with the side of your face, cupping your cheek like he had wanted to do so many times before. His thumb brushed along the glass of the oxygen mask and you couldn’t help but close your eyes and release more tears. Reaching up, your small hand circled around his wrist and held it there, able to feel his pulse under your fingertips. His eyes flickered to the touch before they found yours again and he suddenly couldn’t help himself any longer, not when he was finally able to see everything so clearly. 

He cleared his throat, voice overcome by emotions as a single tear of his own slipped from the corner of his eye and down into his upper lip. It was the first tear he can even remember touching his cheek in years — a tear that had and always been promised for you.

“I see you.” 

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise while the breath you had taken in felt like it had gotten lodged in your throat. More tears escaped from yours but your smile didn’t falter, not for one second, and you knew if that was the last thing you ever heard, you’d be happy. If it happened right there in his arms you could be okay with that because his words had somehow sanctified your soul. Sounding different, sounding so much more than when he had said it earlier that morning willed every bad thing away. In fact, it was everything, he was everything. 

You squeezed his wrist in your hand as you stared up at him, eyes gleaming like it was the first and last time they ever would, “I see you.” 

It was iridescent, the only way to utterly describe the sight. Mauve tendrils of neon light bathing skin in light as the forest's phosphorescent green pulsed beneath the people's bodies and feet. Pulsing to the heartbeat of their Great Mother. Pulsing in sync with their swaying bodies and stifled groans. It all reached deeply within their bones; her and her power. They cried to her, prayers and pleas kissing their tongues as the bioluminescence of the ground was prominent where their queues were connected.

Before Mo’at within the tendrils and the night sky, the atokirina was coated in white and floated in the air above in swarms. Thereupon the pulsing ground of the tree with bulging roots, two bodies lay wrapped within the confines of Eywa. The neon green phosphorescence rectifying as the Mother accepted the two bodies on her beloved soil. Evidently how the small fingerlike tresses of the ground lifted and wrapped around each body, grounding them completely. The same tresses that connected each person there to the entity of Eywa. 

“The Great Mother may choose to save all that she is in this body,” Mo’at spoke, watching the tresses grow across the avatar’s body eventually pulling the queue further into the ground creating a direct neural link to the back of your human neck. 

Eyes fluttered to a close, and you were finally relaxed, instead listening to the sound of your slowing heart. Norm stood in his avatar form near your human body with Neytiri as Jake sat on the other side next to the form they all hoped you would wake up in. His fingers brushed the strays hair out of its face and glanced over at your human body, taking note of the gentle rise and fall of your chest. He shared a look with Neytiri, a shared look of worry as both of Mo’at’s earlier words hung in their heads. She is very weak. It only brought flashbacks of Grace and filled him with the worst dread. That feeling was only exemplified when the ritual began. 

Everyone bathed in the green light, connected arms, all being interlinked as one with Eywa were able to feel her as well as each other. They slowly listened to Mo’at’s words chanting out in the air and repeated them in synchronism back at her, eyes closed focusing on the feeling channeling within one another.

“Ting mikyun ayoheru rutxe, ma Nawma Sa’nok (Hear us please, Great Mother).” 

Mo’at raised her arms high into the air, “Srung si poeru, ma Ewya (Eywa, help her).” 

“Pori tireati, munge mì nga (Take this spirit into you),” the crowd chanted back rolling their necks and their shoulders as one back and forth. 

No matter how many times Norm and Jake had witnessed the ritual, it still left them too stunned to speak; the overwhelming sensation of the voices in unison, the connection of the neurons through the ground, and the overriding presence of Eywa. It all was so much to process even more so while trying to pray to Eywa herself. To ask for forgiveness, for mercy, for her to return you even when you were weak and sick. Ask and beg that she give this one thing to all of those that loved you.

The phosphorescent green reflected back in his eyes as he glanced down from you to your human body now completely covered by tresses leaving barely any sliver of real skin showing. Mystified he watched as the atkorinas floated down from the sky and with the lightest touch surrounded your avatar body — the purest souls watching over you and serving as a positive sign of what he wished to believe.

Finally after what felt like hours of chanting and praying, and looking into the sky for Eywa, Jake felt his attention shoot up to Mo’at. He watched as she spun in circles, arms flailing in the air, eyes rolled to the back of her head, repeating the Great Mother’s name in constant tongues. She could feel her and she could hear her. He was focused then as Mo’at’s voice grew silent out of nowhere like a switch had been flipped. Her eyes returned to normal, her arms dropped to her sides, and her voice fell quiet.

Glancing down at the two bodies before her, she raised her hand to the rest of the people, her voice loud and commanding, “Lu hasey! (It is finished).”

The crowd became silent and all as one found themselves holding their breaths as Mo’at bent down examining your human body closely, her hands raised over your face. Jake held his too as Neytiri stepped forward, hands dropping to the mask around your face. With the uttermost delicacy, she reached forward and pulled it up and off, the sound from releasing the compaction was a gust of air. She laid it down on the ground next to your body as her eyes swept across your beautiful young face, relaxed, gone of any pain.

Her large hand cupped your face; like a mother, she leaned down and connected her soft lips to your forehead, right above your eyebrow. A maternal comfort you had never known or experienced, something Jake had mentioned often to her over the last half year. She let her lips linger a little longer, channeling all of her affection and devotion for you, offering it to Eywa. 

Leaning back her eyes opened again and her hand left your face with one final touch. She looked up to meet her husband's eyes and Jake felt the anxiety worsen in his stomach as she offered him an ensuring nod. He took a deep breath and looked down at the young avatar before him. He leaned over it, tracing every point of its face with his eyes, her ivory-kissed skin, and long eyelashes.

It was the same face of the young woman Jake had had the pleasure of knowing over the last six months. It was the young woman, he felt had become a part of his family. The face of the woman who had captured the attention of his children and left them astounded after seven years of knowing you. He looked down and saw the face of the woman who had managed to get his eldest son to fall in love. It was the face of you, the young girl who had been entirely and always enraptured by this planet and this world — a woman who was always meant to become a part of the Na’vi. 

His fingertips ghosted over your cheeks, the lightest of touches as the atkorinas could be seen all around you. Waiting and waiting, he felt his breath and hope leave him all at once as seconds passed and then a minute. He felt the time frame leaving, falling to a close, and his heart sunk into his stomach. Glancing up at Mo’at expectantly, disappointed, she urged him back down to you with a simple nod, asking him to wait a second longer.

Live or die?

One of us? Or one of them?

Letting his head tilt back down to you, Jake held his breath, his pointer finger brushing against the skin right below your eyebrow, delicately. His gaze zoned in on yours so seriously, he felt his throat well up waiting, begging Eywa. Just as his pinky pressed along your skin, the pair of eyes popped open, coating his sight in yellow and gold, flickered with specks of the lightest green he had ever seen.

one of us taglist is not working the best right now and I have over the limit of people asking to be tagged (it says it's fifty) so, for now, I am just not going to have a taglist because I can't tag everyone and it's taking a lot of work to figure out.

Hi! I wanna cry out my heart tonight so is it alright for you to make a neteyam x reader where neteyam comes back home after the war but hears that reader is mated/bonded with someone else?

Btw I love your works omg! 🥹

Neteyam Returns From the Metkayina and Falls In Love With You Again After Seeing You (SFW / Comfort)

Reader is Fem! Omaticaya

CW: i'm sorry but i couldn't bring myself to do it :'), i had it all planned out but it was just too sad, i hope you're alright with the change tho, fluffy fluff, simp Neteyam appearance, reader is one too, Lo'ak and Kiri are, yet again, Lo'ak and Kiri, skeezy is when someone is weird or creepy, figured I’d slide some black slang in there

"Someone's excited," Kiri giggles, turning to Neteyam as her and Lo'ak's ikran approached the entrance to the Omaticaya Stronghold.

The boy had had this childlike expression plastered on his face nearly the whole way home, which grew in giddiness the closer the family drew to their forest home.

Even in the earlier days when they had stopped for rest, she clearly remembered how much he mumbled your name in his sleep, as if it were a prayer.

It made her want to swoon and gag at the same time.

He's so hopeless.

"Yeah. We all know what your excited to see," Lo'ak smirked, pulling his ikran closer to Neteyam's, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Or should I say...who?"

Neteyam scoffed, rolling his eyes at their antics.

Ever since their journey started, the teasing had been relentless. So much so that it didn't even faze him anymore.

What's a few more minutes of it anyway?

Seeing you again would be his greatest reward.

Four years of pining and longing would all be worth it. 

The hard days, the cold nights, the times where he felt like he couldn't anymore. You came to him, be it a dream, or a memory, and told him you could.

It was what made him love you so much.

Even if you weren’t there, you were there for him, easing his body, mind, and soul.

Back when he lived with the Omaticaya, you two had a special spot that one would go to if they were sad, mad, tired, or simply overwhelmed.

The other would comfort them, hold them close, say sweet nothings, make the other feel loved. 

It became a regular thing. And now that he was coming back, it was the very first thing he wanted to do with you.

He wanted to feel you run your hands through his hair, he wanted you to trace his glowing freckles, he wanted you whisper how much you loved him into his ear.

Fuck.

“You know what would be hilarious? If she found a mate already,” Lo’ak poorly joked, turning to Kiri.

This quickly brought Neteyam out of his reverie, a nervous frown quickly replacing his smile

Kiri was quick to catch this.

“Don’t joke like that, skxawng!” she scolded, flicking him harshly on the head, earning an angry ow! from him.

“Last I checked, (y/n) was obsessed with Neteyam. She wouldn’t shut up about him. I highly doubt she would ever find someone else.”

But the words went through one ear and out the other.

The thought you would mate with someone else never crossed Neteyam’s mind. But now that it did, it made perfect sense.

Four years was a long time, and you were a beautiful woman.

No doubt some skeezy warrior tried to snatch you up the moment you came of age.

The thought made his blood boil, and his heart wrench.

This couldn’t be the case.

After all he’d been through throughout these four years, the only thing that was keeping him going was the thought of you waiting for him at home.

Now that there was a possibility of you no longer being his, he was truly contemplating turning back.

“Look alive kids. We’re here,” his dad smiled, pulling his ikran to the front of the pack.

“Yay! Home!” Tuk cheered from her spot with Neytiri, earning a laugh from the woman.

She was quite excited to be home, too.

They swooped into the cave, perching the ikran on the stone ledge before dismounting, the entirety of the clan running towards them, crowding the family.

Shouts and cheers of excitement echoed throughout the cave, the cave happy to see their former Olo’eyktan had returned, hopefully ready for him, or his son, to resume the mantle.

Despite the thick crowd, Mo’at managed to make it to the front of the mantle, along with the new Olo’eyktan.

“Jakesully, oel ngati kameie,” Mo’at nodded, pointing her hand from herself to Jake.

“Mo’at, oel ngati kameie. Olo’eyktan, oel ngati kameie,” Jake did the same, turning to the Olo’eyktan as well.

Once the formalities were out the way, Mo’at smiled, enveloping her family in a large hug.

“Welcome home,” she greeted.

The entire family hugged her back, the children happy to see their grandmother again.

“Grandmother! You will never believe what we have seen! All of the sea animals and the plants! Oh, and the tulkun!” Tuk happily rambled, hanging onto her grandma a little longer as the rest of the family broke away.

“I am sure you will tell me all about it tonight. My, you have gotten big!” Mo’at assured, hugging her granddaughter tightly.

While Neteyam was happy that his family was fully reunited once again, he still found his eyes scouring the crowd, looking for a familiar face.

Your familiar face.

“She is in the healing tent,” Mo’at whispered, recognizing her grandson’s distress.

He smiled, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before running off through the crowd, down the familiar path that always led him to you.

Visions of the day he left flashed through his head, reminding him what he was coming back to.

“Are you sure you have to go?” you tearfully asked, cupping his face in your hand.

“I must. My family will put everyone in the clan in danger if we stay,” he sighed, pulling you in closer by your waist, resting his forehead on yours.

“Well if you must,” you sniffled, quickly wiping a tear from your eye. “Then I support you. I will wait for you, Neteyam. For as long as it takes.”

When he snapped himself out of it, he was already at your tent flap, the piece of cloth the only thing keeping you two apart.

He was about to grab it, but stopped mid-way, hesitating.

What if you had really found someone else to love?

“I will wait for you, Neteyam. For as long as it takes,” your words repeated in his head.

He sighed, steeling his nerves, before yanking open the tent flap, walking in.

“Tsahey! How many times have I told you, Ateyo! You have to be more careful when climbing trees. If you had fell any different, you would have cracked your skull open,” you scolded, smoothing a mushroom salve over a large cut on a young boy’s forehead.

You back was turned, and you didn’t hear the flap sound over the boy’s complaints.

“Hitxoa, (y/n). I tried to be extra careful this time! But a syaksyuk came out of no where and shook the branch!” Ateyo whined, wincing at the sting of the paste.

The air caught in Neteyam’s throat as he got a good look at you, his eyes raking up and down your body.

You had grown so much.

Your hair had gotten longer, your chest had gotten larger, and your hips had gotten slightly bigger, with a slightly deeper curve to them.

It was making something stir in his stomach.

The feeling reminded him of that word he had caught his dad calling his mom once. The one that Neytiri hissed at him for when she realized the children were around.

What was it?

Sexy.

When you stopped rubbing the salve on him, the little boy opened his eyes, only for them to land on the tall, warrior behind you, who gave him a polite wave.

The boy gasped in shock, his eyes growing wide with awe.

He knew exactly who he was, every Omaticayan boy did. 

Neteyam the Warrior, brother to Lo’ak the Warrior. 

Stories of the brothers’ adventures were known throughout the clan. And they practically became legends to the children. 

You cocked a brow, slowly turning around. 

“What are you-.” Your breath hitched when your eyes met that of the warrior before you, his smile growing at the sight of your face.

You had gotten more beautiful, too.

You slowly stood up, looking the boy...no, man, up and down, a dark shade of blue growing on your cheeks.

He had gotten incredibly tall, and beefier, too. 

And with new muscle, came new scars, which now littered his body, in a good way.

In an attractive way.

You would enjoy hearing stories about them as you traced them later tonight.

“Oel ngati kameie, my love,” he smirked, doing the gesture along with it, deeply hoping those words were still true.

The biggest smile you had smiled in four years found their way to your lips as you broke into a run, tackling the poor man in a bear hug.

“My Neteyam! You have returned!” you exclaimed out of pure happiness, throwing your arms around his neck and going on your tippy-toes to kiss him on the lips.

You were no longer tall enough to kiss him normally.

He laughed into it, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him ( if that was even possible ).

After your display of affection, he felt foolish to think you would ever mate with someone other than him.

As the two of you broke apart, he looked into your beautiful, honey eyes, and smiled as saw they held so much love behind them.

You were looking at him as if he hung the stars right before you.

And he recognized this because this was the very same look he would give you.

When you weren’t looking, of course.

“Look how beautiful you have grown. You must be the most sought woman in the clan,” he smirked, sensually tucking a stray braid behind your ear.

You smirked right back, bringing your hands to rest on his chest.

“Ah, yes. It has come to that,” you playfully sighed, leaning in closer so your mouth lay just outside his ear, bringing your voice down to a whisper.

“But I have saved myself for you.”

Neteyam quietly growled, the stir in his stomach increasing tenfold as he thought of what would happen if he took you to Utral Aymokriyä tonight.

“As have I,” he huskily whispered back, giving your neck a quick peck.

His tone made you shudder, suddenly begging for eclipse to come so you two could sneak off.

“GROSS!” the little, forgotten boy exclaimed from the corner, holding his stomach as if he were about to throw up.

“Disgusting! You’re a warrior! You’re not supposed to like this lovey-dovey stuff!” he groaned, pointing to his mouth and gagging.

“Get out of here!” you scolded, turning around and placing your hands on your hips.

But not before Neteyam pulled you into him, your back resting on his strong chest.

“Yeah. Before I start kissing her again,” Neteyam teased, placing a long, dramatic kiss on your cheek, making you giggle.

“GROSSSSS!” the boy loudly groaned in agony, covering his eyes as he ran out the tent.

The two of you laughed at the boy’s antics before you turned around, wrapping your arms around his neck once more.

You both stayed in comfortable silence, having a silent conversation as you stared into each others eyes, taking in every detail and committing it to memory.

Just in case you two would have to separate again.

“You know,” you started, smirking as one of your hands find it’s way to Neteyam’s hair, rubbing it in the way you remembered he liked.

“I was being serious before. I have saved myself.”

You gave a light tug to some of his hair, and the man let out a strained groan, using every ounce of his strength to keep him from closing his eyes in pleasure.

You massaged his head so well.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hold you again,” he sighed, tightening his grip around your waist.

You smiled, inching your face closer to his, to the point where your lips were a hair away.

“Then what are we still waiting for?” you purred.

That was his tipping point.

With a growl, he enveloped your lips in a passionate kiss, and you kissed him back with just as much fervor.

Hooking his hands under your thighs, he picked you up, carrying bridal style as he took you the back way out the tent.

“Neteyam!” you squealed, pulling out the kiss and tightening your grip around your neck, keeping yourself from falling.

“Quiet, my love. Or people will hear us,” he smirked, placing a quick kiss on your lips before running the both of you out the back entrance of the Stronghold.

Sure, you were serious about what you said. But past Neteyam would’ve never been bold enough to actually go through with it.

He had changed in these four years. He had grown confidence.

It was making something stir in you, even more so as you knew your destination would be Utral Aymokriyä.

This is going to be fun.

hiii! i love ur avatar writing and i was wondering if u could write something about neteyam x reader, where they're childhood best friends but then some na'vi guy start to show interest in the reader and neteyam gets all jealous and realize than maybe he's in love with them? idk if this make sense, english is not my first language, sorry :((

All Mine

Tags: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader, Aonung x Omaticaya!Reader (Only Slight), Fem!Reader, Childhood Friend Romance, Friends To Lovers, Jealousy, Anguished Declarations Of Love, Neteyam Loses His Cool For Once

Warnings: Neteyam Daydreaming About Punching Aonung LMAO

Neteyam was walking along the beach with his siblings when he spotted you, talking to the Olo'eyktan’s son. It had never crossed his mind before that you, his childhood best friend, would eventually find someone to romantically pursue. Was it wrong to realize he wanted you to himself, and not in the arms of another boy?

OMG IM SO OBSESSED W THIS IDEA!!! If theres one trope I love, its a jealous love interest 🤭 also, trust me when I say ur English is perfect!! Fun fact but English is also my second language and growing up I was ass at speaking it LMFAO so ur not alone 😭☠️

Yellow Hyacinth - Jealousy

* ˚ ✦ 1663 Words • Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [02/01/23] ❞  

It had been roughly a week since you arrived on the Awa'atlu village's shoreline. When you initially arrived, the Olo'eyktan's son harassed you relentlessly.

There were many things he liked to call you. Freak, weirdo, dimwit, you name it.

There was nothing freak-like about you, per se, but the fact that you were from the forest made you a target to Aonung's bullying. What skills could a woodland girl teach sea people? It was dreadful that you had to hide among them in the first place.

Technically, you had no obligation to go into hiding with the Metkayina clan, but you felt as if the Omaticaya had nothing left for you when your childhood best friend, Neteyam, informed you that he and his family needed to flee.

When Neteyam initially told you that he had to abandon your clan, including you, you wailed into his arms as if he had just perished. You couldn't bear the thought of not being with Neteyam, even if it meant compromising your clan's safety.

The truth is, you overreacted so harshly because you’ve had feelings for Neteyam for years now. You’ve always been unsure if he reciprocated, but there were moments between the both of you where he’d send mixed signals; you didn’t know what shifted or when, but there was just something between you both that felt like you were more than just friends.

And now he wouldn’t be able to stay and see how your relationship would unfurl.

Maybe you were foolish to persuade Jake Sully into brining you along, but he eventually agreed (albeit reluctantly), since you and his son made each other happy. Neteyam was pleased when you told him you were departing with him.

So there you were, well acquainted with the Metkayina, and accompanied by your dearest friend. Aside from Aonung's pestering, you could put up with it since you knew Neteyam would safeguard you.

However, the more time that you spent with the sea people, the more you began to suspect that it was only you who had detected something between you and Neteyam. You stopped sending hints, even if he overlooked them unintentionally, as it stung too much to persevere.

Aonung eventually stopped attempting to harass you, and you even developed a pleasant friendship with him. Tonowari, his father, had him apologize for his poor behavior; after that, he was actually fairly delightful to converse with.

This was your life now.

...

Neteyam sauntered along the coast, followed by Kiri and Lo'ak. He couldn't take his mind off you; were you safe? Was Aonung bothering you yet again? His father had chided him that he didn't need to be at your side all hours of the day, but he didn't quite understand why his father was amused when he talked about how Neteyam behaved with you. You were his best friend, of course he’s worried!

Regardless, Jake instructed him to keep an eye on his siblings, so he didn't have much of a choice in abandoning them and running to your rescue. Not with Lo'ak prowling behind him in search of trouble.

Neteyam maintained his walk, thinking to himself that he was exceedingly fortunate that you had left the clan for him, and although he wouldn't say it, he was overjoyed.

What he wasn't so thrilled with was how he'd discovered you'd grown closer to that jackass Aonung. You could talk to anybody you pleased, and he knew you were far too pure-hearted to entirely dismiss the Olo'eyktan's son, but why did he feel so bitter whenever he saw you together?

Speak of the devil.

Kiri pointed you out, but when she saw who you were with, she shuddered. “Look, it’s Y/N! And... Aonung.” She deadpanned.

Neteyam was paying little heed to what his sister was saying. No, he was paying close attention to how you were giggling at whatever Aonung said.

What the fuck?

Lo’ak nudged his shoulder. “Bro?”

Lo'ak waved his hand in front of Neteyam's face, which he instantly swept aside. What exactly did Aonung say to make you laugh that hard? You only laugh when you're with him!

Neteyam was practically seething, his fists clenched into balls, as Kiri and Lo'ak snickered to each other out of his earshot. If Kiri didn't know any better, she'd suppose Neteyam was thinking about the finest ways to strangle a cheap merman.

And truly, he was.

Lo’ak held his fist to his mouth to stifle his laughs. “Dude, are you jealous?”

Kiri placed a hand on Lo’ak’s shoulder, and looked away with a smile plastered to her face. “He totally is.”

Neteyam’s rage was now being directed towards his siblings. “What? No I’m not! Why would I be jealous?”

Lo’ak was still chortling when he pointed behind Neteyam, motioning that he should probably look. He turned around indignantly, and saw that Aonung had a hand on your arm. He was close. Too close for his liking.

And that look. Anyone could see that Aonung was flirting with you. He was maintaining direct eye contact with you, narrowing his gaze. He appeared to be listening carefully to what you were saying, but his smirk paired with his eyes passing over your lips indicated otherwise.

Neteyam just wanted to pummel his stupid, blue face in.

Kiri and Lo'ak burst out laughing as they witnessed Neteyam storm over to where the two of you were. He aggressively inserted his own hand where Aonung's own had originally been, shoving your body into his own by the shoulder. The unexpected intrusion caught you off guard.

“Oh! Neteyam!”

You beamed at his arrival right away, but Aonung frowned. Before you could enquire what Neteyam was doing, he stared daggers into Aonung's head, and hauled you away from him by your bicep. Aonung remained there stunned, staring at your back as you walked away.

“What the hell?”

Kiri and Lo'ak tripped over themselves on their way over to Aonung, howling with laughter, and Lo'ak smacked his shoulder in amusement.

“Sorry cuz, you never stood a chance!”

Aonung’s cheeks darkened deeply. He was thoroughly mortified; he had no idea you were and Neteyam were like that! (You’re not.)

...

Neteyam began to lose confidence throughout the walk once he had pulled you much further away. While you shouted at him to let you go, he inwardly cursed at himself, wondering why he had just done that.

Does he like you?

Your vehement protests about how Neteyam was causing you pain eventually ceased falling on deaf ears. His rage vanished when he realized he'd been treating you like a ragdoll for the entire walk, and he immediately felt horrible. He let go of your arm and buried his face in his hands, ashamed that he had done such a thing to you in the first place.

You rubbed your sore arm, and nudged his shoulder gently. “What’s wrong?”

He looked way too upset, and you rarely saw him like this, if ever.

“Why was Aonung looking at you like that?”

That struck you with irritation. “Are you serious? That’s what this is about?”

His eyes darkened at your words. How could it not be?

You started to raise your voice. “You cannot be for real. You’re just my friend, why are you being so overprotective? If Aonung likes me, that’s my business! Not yours!”

Neteyam snatched your wrist again, evidently upset by what you just uttered. He didn’t know what he was saying anymore. “The only person that can look at you like that is me!”

You went quiet for a time, then realization dawned on your features. “Hold up... do you like me?”

Suddenly, Neteyam’s gaze softened, and he could no longer be furious with you. “How could I not?”

He released your wrist, unsure of what to say next. When he noticed your prolonged silence, Neteyam whirled around, prepared to walk back to his home and cry his frustrations out. He was fighting back tears already; what was the point of telling you this anyway?

You gripped his shoulder and forced him to swivel around and face you. Neteyam could not cover his face, and he felt humiliated because he didn't know why he was acting in this manner. Why was he weeping over a silly look?

He was caught by surprise when you cupped his face in your hands, and wiped the stray tears away. Your irritation had completely dissipated. “You have nothing to be worried about.”

He sniffled. “Why?”

“Because I’ve liked you since forever, but I didn’t think you liked me back. There were so many mixed signals, and you never picked up on my hints, either!”

Neteyam was taken aback. He was at a loss for words.

You rolled your eyes. “Just kiss me, you big idiot.”

Your hand that was on his shoulder was now suddenly imprisoned in his grip, and he jerked you towards his body, lips crashing into yours. He pressed against you with ardor, as if you'd vanish if he didn't embrace you like you were the last Na'vi on Pandora.

Your nimble fingers found purchase in his braids. His hands slithered around your waist, drawing you flush against him, effectively deepening the kiss. He needed you so near that he could only sense your lips against his. When you would try and pull away, his desperate kisses would follow.

You feared Neteyam had forgotten you needed to breathe, because you had to roughly pull his head back by his braids to eventually get him to halt his feverish actions. The minimal bit of pigment on your lips had now smeared, a mark left by Neteyam that claimed you as his. Who the hell taught him to kiss like that?

As you both merely stared at each other, stunned, Neteyam spoke through labored breaths. “All mine?”

“I’m all yours.”

Bonus!

Lo'ak sipped his fruity iced drink, having witnessed the entire exchange from a distance. He patted Aonung's back.

“You wish that was you, huh?”

Aonung punched him.

Kame

kame [ˈk·a.m·ɛ] vtr. see, see into, understand, know (spiritual sense)

Anonymous Request: Could we have something where Metkayina Reader is the chief's daughter, becomes good friends with Neteyam, and is in love with him but doesn't think he finds Metkayina women attractive because he doesn't seem interested in any of the girls, so she asks Lo'ak if he thinks she's pretty because he's also her friend but Neteyam overhears and gets upsets cause he misunderstands why she's asking? Pretty pretty please with a sweet sappy ending.

Feeling insecure about your crush on Neteyam, you ask his younger brother if he thinks Metkayina woman are attractive. Neteyam overhears and misunderstands.

1,978 words

Lo'ak and I had been sitting quietly on the beach for quite a while, watching the children play nearby as the clouds rolled in, promising rain.

As if reading my mind, Lo'ak pointed up. "Looks like rain."

I nodded. Talk of weather was nice, but what I really wanted to talk about was Lo'ak's older brother.

In the months since they'd arrived, I was unable to get Neteyam off of my mind - but I couldn't read him for the life of me. He was reserved, the oldest Sully brother, not like Lo'ak. Lo'ak wore his heart on his sleeve, lucky for my sister, who was equally enamored with the younger Sully brother.

Neteyam did not seem interested in any of the Metkayina women, and I wondered if our physical differences were unappealing to him. Was my hair too coarse, my tail too wide, my eyes too large?

It wasn't that Neteyam wasn't nice to me, I would even have considered us friends, but the possibility of more than that just didn't seem to be there.

"Lo'ak, do you find me attractive?" I asked finally.

Lo'ak turned to me sharply. "What?"

"I mean, Metkayina women. Do you think they're as pretty as your forest women? Your mother is breathtaking."

He wrinkled his nose at the statement, and then smiled.

"Yes. I think you're attractive," he replied. His reassurance should have comforted me, but it only made me more confused. If Lo'ak could find me attractive, why couldn't his brother?

"Not as attractive as my sister, though, yes?" I leaned over, a teasing smile on my face, bumping my shoulder into his.

Lo'ak sighed, the sound of a man in love. "No one is as beautiful as her."

What I wouldn't give to have Neteyam feel that way about me.

--

"Yes, I think you're attractive," Neteyam's brother said to Y/N, the woman he had been pining after for months.

Neteyam was approaching the two, planning to join them on the beach, but the snippet of their conversation he'd caught was enough to make him turn on his heels and stalk back to his mauri pod.

He felt betrayed by Lo'ak, even though he hadn't said so much as a whisper of his feelings for Y/N - mostly he felt mad for Y/N's younger sister, whom he'd thought his brother was growing close to.

Was Lo'ak to betray her? Was her own sister to betray her? Maybe Y/N was not the woman he thought she was, after all.

--

It began raining soon, and Lo'ak and I stood to leave the beach.

"I gotta ask," Lo'ak said as we walked back towards our respective homes. "Why the question - uh, about you being pretty?"

A blush heated my cheeks.

"It's Neteyam, isn't it?" he said, trying not to smile too wide. "You like Neteyam?"

I shrugged. "He doesn't seem interested, in any of the women here. I thought maybe he found us unappealing."

Lo'ak shook his head. "He's just shy. Give him time."

I wasn't so sure. We parted ways with a friendly goodbye, and I returned to my family for the evening with much to think about.

--

The next morning, the clouds had cleared and the day was beautiful. I set out early with Tsireya at my mother's request - she was wary of Lo'ak, and wanted Tsireya supervised at all times.

"I think Lo'ak is a nice young man," I told her as we waded into the water. "We had a nice talk last night."

She smiled, ear to ear, her beautiful smile. I had always wished I had Tsireya's sunny disposition and kind heart - she was a joy to everyone who knew her.

"What did you talk about?"

I looked away, blushing a little. "Neteyam."

She gasped, reaching out to grab my arm. "You like Lo'ak's brother?" She giggled with excitement.

"I asked Lo'ak if the women here were appealing to him. Of course, I know you are beautiful to Lo'ak, but I wondered if Neteyam maybe... thought I was ugly."

Tsireya gasped. "Y/N, you must never speak like that again. You are exceedingly beautiful, as well as smart, skilled, our fastest swimmer-"

I cut her off before she could continue on. "Sister, please."

"Well, it's true!" she replied forcefully. "If Neteyam does not like you, he's a moron."

We giggled together. Talking with my sister always made me feel better, no matter the issue.

--

Later that day, I happened upon Neteyam alone - as I had been looking for him nearly all day. Tsireya had given me the confidence I needed to try and really talk to him.

"Neteyam!" I called when I found him, swimming just off shore as I stood on the beach.

He raised one hand and waved to me, and began his approach. I stood waiting, fidgeting nervously with my hands as he came towards me at what felt like a snail's pace.

He shook his hair when he exited the water, and as usual, I was overcome with his beauty.

"Hello," Neteyam nodded, somewhat formally.

"I need to talk to you," I said quickly.

He cocked his head to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just... need to tell you something, and I have the courage to tell you now, but I probably won't later."

Neteyam shook his head. "I already know."

I took a step back in surprise. "You do?"

Did Lo'ak tell him? He wouldn't do that to me - he was my friend.

"I do. I have to say, Y/N, I thought better of you."

That was... not the response I was expecting. In fact, it didn't make sense at all. Me having feelings for him made him think less of me?

"Neteyam, I... what?"

"I thought you cared for your sister, and you know how she feels about Lo'ak." He was angry, his teeth gritted, his eyes narrowed. He was angry at me.

"Neteyam, what are you talking about?"

He scoffed. "I heard you at Lo'ak last night, him telling you how beautiful you are. How could the two of you do that to Tsireya?"

I had never seen Neteyam so angry, certainly not at me. He had heard a part of our conversation last night and assumed the absolutely worst - that I would betray my most beloved sister.

Tears filled my eyes. "I can't believe you would think this of me." Before I could embarrass myself any further, I turned and ran back home to cry in my father's arms.

--

He had expected to feel better after confronting Y/N, but she hadn't reacted the way Neteyam expected. Instead of feeling self-righteous, Neteyam felt confused and guilty as he returned home.

He sat silently at dinner, and though his family asked what was wrong, he shrugged them off.

He couldn't quite explain it.

"I can't believe you would think this of me."

What did she mean by that? He had heard her and Lo'ak's conversation with his own ears.

Speaking of, just as the sun was setting less than an hour later, Lo'ak entered the tent - and he was angry.

"Neteyam, you fucking idiot!" he yelled, in front of the entire family.

"Whoa, whoa!" Jake stood up in an instant, followed by Neteyam, and placed himself between the boys to avoid escalation.

"You... you fucking idiot!" Lo'ak yelled again.

"Mad that I caught you?" Neteyam asked, spitting out the words like daggers.

"You know nothing! You broke her heart, do you know that?" Lo'ak yelled.

"Stop this, now!" their mother demanded. "Explain." She turned to Neteyam first.

"Everyone knows that Tsireya is in love with Lo'ak, but last night on the beach, he was telling her sister how beautiful she is. I heard it with my own years!"

Neteyri's eyes widened in shock, and she turned to her younger son.

"Lo'ak, is this true?"

"No!" Lo'ak shouted. "Well, yes, but that's not what happened."

"Lower your voice, and explain," Neytiri said calmly.

"She asked because she thought this idiot," he gestured to Neteyam, "didn't think Metkayina women were beautiful. She wasn't asking if I thought she was attractive - she was asking if we could find her, all the women here, as beautiful as the women from back home. Because she likes you, you idiot!"

"Stop calling your brother names," Jake demanded, stepping from in-between his sons, but that was where his advice ended - this seemed like a conversation for their mother.

"He went and accused her of betraying her sister, and she's been crying all night. Tsireya came to tell me, because you need to fix it."

Lo'ak's words were like a knife in Neteyam's chest. He could picture Y/N's face on the beach, how crushed she had been, and he had never felt more guilty or regretful in his life.

He couldn't believe the things he'd believed about her, and said directly to her. He put his face in his hands and sighed.

"Shit," he whispered.

"You must go apologize, now. She is the chief's daughter. You go make peace," his mother insisted, grabbing his arm. "Come. We go now."

"Mom!" Neteyam said, but there was no getting around it - his mother was going to march him over to apologize to the woman he loved.

--

After my embarrassing display of emotion early - which was very out of character for me - my father would not let me further than a foot away from him. We sat, eating together, with his arm around my shoulders.

Every so often he would mutter something like, "Idiot boy," or "hideous moron" and I had to admit, it helped.

He finally let me go to clean up after dinner, and Tsireya gave my arm a squeeze as she joined to help.

"I am sorry for the intrusion," someone said at the entrance to our mauri, and we all turned to look. Standing there was Neteyam, his mother holding his arm. "My son owes your daughter an apology."

"Oh no," I whispered under my breath, meeting eyes with Tsireya.

My parents locked eyes with each other. I could tell they both wanted to rip poor Neteyam's throat out, but after a moment, they nodded with each other.

"Hear the boy out," my mother said, bending down to grab my arm. "You will return soon."

"Yes, mother," I nodded, and followed Neteyam and his mother out of the tent.

Neytiri followed us down to the beach, but then broke away, leaving us completely alone in the moonlight.

We stood, staring out at the water for a long, awkward moment.

Finally, Neteyam spoke.

"Never in my life have I been such a fool, or hurt someone I care about so deeply. I was overtaken by jealousy when I heard you and my brother talking, and I assumed the worst. I know you may not be able to forgive me, but I will never stop being sorry."

Tears filled my eyes again, but I couldn't form a reply.

"You should know that I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. I have been mesmerized by you since the moment we arrived. You are all I think about, day and night. My biggest regret is that I did not tell you that, every single day. If I had, we would have avoided all this. I see you, Y/N. I see you."

Neteyam reached up, brushing a tear from my cheek, and I leaned my face into his palm.

He took a sharp breath in.

"I see you, and I forgive you, Neteyam," I said finally. Continuing to be angry at Neteyam, now that I knew how he felt, seemed like an impossible task. "And I would kiss you now, but I think both our mothers are watching."

A smile spread across his lips, and he bent down to hover his lips just above mine. "I do not care."

Better Off Broken PART TWO

this is the second and final part to better off broken, so click the link to read that first

synopsis: Spencer Reid finally gets a chance to meet his little boy’s teacher after always being away on a case for all the other opportunities. Though, the single father Dr. Reid was not expecting his son’s kindergarten teacher to be a charming young woman who might possibly make him forget the vow he took to swear off romantic involvements. (dual point of view). (not edited so excuse errors)

content warnings: past relationship trauma, a little bit of self deprecation, 18+ scenes, fluff…

Spencer and I have been texting quite a bit lately. It’s usually just to catch up and talk about Atlas, but it’s still nice.

I want to ask him out on a real date, but I’m not even sure how I would go about that. We’ve only known each other a month and a half, and I don’t even know if he feels the same way I do. I’m not sure if I want to know.

If I don’t know how he feels, I can keep this little fantasy in my head where we’re secretly pining after each other.

But every time we text or he comes into my classroom when he’s picking Atlas up (which has only been twice, but it still happened), I think about asking him out, just ripping the bandaid off.

I feel something between us, a type of connection, but I don’t know if he feels it too. We get a little flirty sometimes (or at least I think it’s flirty), but it never goes past that. It’s always just a few smiles and some slightly suggestive - not in a sexual way - words, but never more than that.

The Valentine’s day party is coming up, and Spencer has already told me he’ll be there. I’m excited to see him again, but I worry that I’ll make it obvious that I like him. Although, maybe I should make it obvious. Maybe I should ask him out that day. It would be pretty ballsy. I think I’m just going to fucking do it.

—————

“Are you excited for the Valentine’s day party, Atlas?” I ask my son as I lace up my red converse.

He’s already dressed and waiting for me by the door, per usual. He nods, checking his watch. This kid is so much like me, it’s scary.

“Since it’s not until later, I’ll drop you off then I’m going to pick up some supplies just in case Ms. Y/n needs more, okay?”

“Okay,” Atlas says with one nod of his head.

“You’re a man of many words, A,” I chuckle softly, a bright smile on my face. I adore this little boy with every ounce of my being.

Atlas waits for me to finish getting ready then he grabs my hand and we head down to my car. Eventually, I’ll get us a house. I’ve been saving half of my paycheck every month for things like that. Maybe I’ll buy a house in the suburbs close to the school. I think Atlas would like to have a backyard to himself. Not that he’s the type of kid to play outside in the dirt, but he likes to read outside and listen to the birds chirp.

I convinced Atlas to wear a red button up today just to be a little festive. He agreed even though he usually wears blue on Tuesdays.

I drive him to school and make sure he gets to the building okay before I head to the store. I’ve never stepped foot in a Hobby Lobby, but I want to help Y/n just in case she needs it.

I grab a bunch of little Valentine’s day decorations for the kids to put on their boxes. I definitely look silly doing this, but I don’t mind.

“These for anyone special?” The young lady at the register asks me as she scans the items.

“I-uh no. They’re for my son’s class,” I say, but my cheeks turn the color of the red hearts. They’re technically for Y/n, and she is someone special. But I barely admit that to myself, let alone out loud.

“You’re a dad? There’s no way, you look so young,” she chuckles softly, twirling her hair around her finger.

She’s flirting with me. I used to not be able to detect things like that, but I’ve gotten better at reading people. Being a behavioral analyst helped with that.

“Thanks,” I say nonchalantly and pay for the decorations. I leave quickly then head to the grocery store to get some cookies for the class.

Eventually, it’s time to head to the school for the party. I’m one of the first parents there.

“Dr. Reid,” Y/n smiles and takes the box of cookies I bought. “You are just a helpful man, huh?”

I grin softly. “I do the best I can.”

“Nice tie,” she looks up at me, taking my pink tie in her hand. I resist the urge to tell her to pool me down by it then kiss her right then and there. Good thing I’m a professional at self control now.

“Thank you,” I chuckle slightly.

Eventually, all the parents that could make it are here and we start helping the kids decorate their card boxes.

Atlas and I made cards last night for all his classmates. We put little heart shaped suckers into the animal themed Valentine’s Day cards.

It takes nearly two hours for all the kids to finish decorating their boxes, the classroom is a mess of paper, glitter glue, felt hearts, and more. The kids go around, slipping their cards into everyone’s boxes.

Atlas seems to be having a good time. He decorated his box as neatly as he could. He’s very particular about things.

Eventually, the kids clean up a little bit and school is let out. The parents say goodbye to Ms. Y/n and the other parents, and it’s just me, Atlas, and Y/n in here.

“The parties always make my room a wreck,” she laughs softly, brushing her hair out of her face.

“We can help clean up,” I say.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ve got this,” she assures me.

“Hmm. Nope. I think we’re going to help. Aren’t we, Atlas?”

My son nods. “Mhm.”

Y/n chuckles, shaking her head. God, I’ve got to stop staring at her.

“Fine, but no complaining since you wanted this, Dr. Reid,” she points an accusing finger at me.

I raise my hands in the air innocently. “Yes ma’am.”

Atlas and I help her clean up for at least half an hour. Kids are messy.

“Thank you so much,” Y/n sighs, tossing her hair out of her face. “You’re an angel.”

Little does she know she looks like an angel, and I’d like her to show me heaven for a night.

I blush, and look down at my shoes. “I’m always happy to help.”

“Atlas did you have fun?” She asks.

“Yes ma’am,” he nods, a slight smile on his face. He’s holding his decorated box.

She smiles at him. “Good!” Then she turns her attention back to me. “I have something for you.”

“For me?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Mhm. But you’re not allowed to look at it until you get home.”

“Well, now I’m intrigued,” I chuckle.

“No cheating, doc.” She grabs something from her desk then slips it into my front pocket.

I can’t help but notice the smell of her hair and tingle at her touch, even if it was through clothes. It’s been way too long since I’ve been touched. Lily was the last person I even kissed.

And as much as I want to pull Y/n into me right now, I have a promise to keep. A promise to myself and to my son.

“Do not open it until you’re home,” she says again, stern voiced.

“Okay, okay,” I laugh softly.

She grins up at me. “Drive safe.”

“You too. Are you leaving right now, we can walk you out?”

“No, I’ve got to do some lesson planning. But thank you for the offer,” Y/n says sweetly.

Atlas and I make it home about fifteen minutes later, and he sits down on the couch with a book.

“What are you thinking for dinner, bud?” I ask him, looking in the fridge for what I could cook later.

“Spaghetti,” he tells me. “What did the note say?”

“Note?” I know what he’s talking about, but for some reason I feel the need for him to clarify.

“From Ms. Y/n.”

“I haven’t read it yet,” I tell him.

“She said to open it when you get home. We’re home.”

I laugh a little. He’s a very straight forward young man.

“I’ll open later, buddy,” I say, looking over at him sitting on the couch. Well, I look at the back of his head.

I take the beef out of the freezer for it to thaw then join my son on the couch. The note in my pocket is burning a hole through the fabric of my pants. I’m pretty certain I have an idea of what it says, and I’m not ready to reject her.

After dinner, while Atlas is in the shower - he showers on his own, but keeps the door open so I can hear if he needs me - I take the note out of my pocket. I unfold it and my heart both flutters and drops at the same time.

It doesn’t take me long to decipher the “code” of the note. She wrote the words “Will you go on a date with me?” using elements from the period table and only putting their atomic mass. She’s definitely using my love for chemistry to win me over.

It’s the cheesiest, most nerdy Valentine’s Day card I’ve ever seen. I would absolutely love it if six years ago I didn’t swear off relationships and dating. I do absolutely love it actually, but I can’t agree to what it asks.

As much as I want to ignore it and pretend like she didn’t ask me this question, I know I have to let her down sooner than later. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.

After I get Atlas to bed and I’m in my pjs, I call her. My stomach is knotted tightly. I hate myself for this.

—————

“Spencer, hey!” I answer the phone once I see his contact pop up on my screen. “You must’ve read the note.”

“I did,” he admits, but the tone in his voice makes me want to figure out a way to take the note back through the screen.

“And?” I question, my intestines tying themselves in knots.

He sighs. Shit. “Y/n… I- I can’t.”

“Right,” I laugh awkwardly. “You know, just- uh forget I asked. Which I guess technically I didn’t ask, the note did.” More awkward laughs spill out of me. “Anyway…”

“It’s not as if I don’t want to. I just can’t. I hope you understand?”

“Yeah, no, sure. Totally,” I ramble. Oh my God what am I saying? “It’s all good.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and it makes me want to slam my head into the headboard behind me.

“No!” I practically yell into his ear. “No worries. It’s okay.”

“Okay…”

“It’s getting late, huh? I should probably go to bed. Goodnight.” I hang up before he can even get the ‘G’ sound out in response.

Embarrassing. As. Fuck.

How the hell am I going to see him again and not melt into a puddle of humiliation right in the spot?

And what the fuck does he mean by he ‘can’t’? He said it’s not that he doesn’t want to. So he wants to, but he can’t? What does he have a girlfriend I don’t know about? I feel like I would know if he did.

In my head, before I have him the note, this went a lot better. He got home and read it then called me right away with a date and a time he’d pick me up. I’d wear a pretty dress, one that I haven’t been able to wear in forever because I haven’t had an occasion to do so. He would wear a suit like he was the first time I met him. We’d both agree to not have sex because it’s too soon, but he’d kiss me at the doorstep, maybe for a little too long.

But movies, books, and tv are fucking liars because instead of that, I got a “I can’t.” What the hell kind of story is this?

I lean back into my bed and let out a dramatic sigh. I shouldn’t have asked him out. We could’ve just stayed friends.

I just thought I wasn’t alone in the attraction. I thought he felt something too. Apparently I am really bad at reading people. Good think he’s the profiler, and I’m not.

But hey, if I ruined our friendship at least it wasn’t a long standing one. We’ve only been friends for almost two months.

Still, I’ll be sad to see him go. He’s nice to talk to. He’s smart, intimidatingly so, and he’s the most gentlemanly person I’ve ever met. Every time we talk, he asks how I’m doing, and I know it’s not just a formality, he genuinely cares. And hell, he’s not a bad sight to look at. Okay, he’s a very pleasing sight to look at.

Maybe I was mistaking friendly feelings for the romantic kind, but we’ve been flirting for at least a month, so I thought we shared a mutual liking/attraction to each other.

Perhaps he’s the type to flirt with people and it mean nothing. Maybe he’s just one of those guys who’s friendly and accidentally flirts. I may never know because the only time I’ve seen him interact with other women was in the classroom, and he obviously wasn’t flirting with the moms.

But in order to not lose our friendship, I can pretend like I wasn’t embarrassed out of my mind as long as he can pretend I never asked him out. It can just be something we sweep under the rug and leave there to suffocate.

The next few weeks are still awkward, but Spencer and I still talk, well text. Written communication is much less confrontational than verbal.

Spencer: Do you want to grab lunch on Saturday? I need to talk to you.

Oh fuck, here we go. The awkward “You’ve ruined our friendship, and it’s not the same anymore” talk. I know this one all too well because my I had to have it with one of my old best friends.

We were friends for years and years, then out of the blue, he kissed me. Honestly, I always thought he was gay because he never had a girlfriend, but apparently it was because he liked me - or was in love with me as he claimed.

But we were best friends, and I couldn’t see him as anything else. He made a point to not talk to me after I rejected his kiss, and if we did talk, it was full of short, choppy sentences on his end.

Eventually, I had to give him the aforementioned talk. It was painful for both sides.

And now I feel it coming from Spencer.

Good thing Spring Break is now approaching, and I won’t have to face him or Atlas for a whole week, not that any of this has to do with Atlas.

“Y/n,” Spencer starts. His sitting across from me at the cafe we chose to have lunch at. He looks amazing in the sweater he’s wearing, and I really wish I could put a bag over his head so I couldn’t see him; but then again I’d still see his body and his body is just as pretty as his face.

“Spencer,” I say awkwardly, trying to force out a little laugh.

He starts to talk at the same time I’m trying to say something else.

“Go ahead,” he says. Always the gentleman.

“No, you go,” I insist. “You said we need to talk, so you can talk.”

He sighs softly, some of his hair blowing back from the air. “I’m sorry.”

This time I do laugh a little. “You’re sorry? Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry I made this so weird.”

“You made this weird? I’m the one who asked you out. If anyone made it weird, it’s me,” I say with another chuckle.

This time he joins me in the soft laugh. Spencer shakes his head. “No, no. You didn’t. I just didn’t know how to handle things after that. It’s on me for being immature about it.”

Stop making me fall for you, you asshat. “It’s not big deal. Really,” I say with an assuring smile.

He smiles back, and I’m pretty sure I could be blinded by that pretty of a sight. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “We can just pretend it never happened. I would say forget, but one of us has an eidetic memory.”

Spencer grins, rolling his eyes. “Well, that one sounds like a real pain in the ass.”

“He is,” I chuckle.

We’re back. I think.

He laughed too, and for a minute, we hold eye contact. Something in those hazel eyes tells me he wasn’t lying when he said “It’s not as if I don’t want to.” Because if I know men at all, and I’m pretty sure I do at least a little bit, it looks like Spencer definitely wants to go on that date, maybe more than that. His eyes rake down to my v neck of my top.

“Anyway,” I say with an awkward chuckle, breaking whatever the hell just happened between us. “How’s your sabbatical been?”

Spencer’s eyes snap back up to mine. “It’s been great. It’s really nice to get to be with Atlas, but I am ready to go back to work next week.”

“Next week already? Wow, time is flying by.”

“Yes, yes it is,” he nods. “Before we know it, the school year will be over”

“Oh God, don’t say that,” I laugh softly.

“I’m not ready for Atlas to be in grade school. How is he getting so old?” Spencer says, shaking his head with disbelief.

“It’s crazy how years go by so fast,” I agree. “I’m not ready to not have him in class. You didn’t hear this, but he’s my favorite.”

Spencer grins. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

—————

So I am a fucking dumbass. That’s the conclusion i’ve made after 40 years of being considered a genius.

I’m a dumbass because six years ago I made a promise, and now I want to break it. No, I crave to break it.

This woman is making me crazy. She’s consuming my mind, and the only way to not think about her is to distract myself with something else.

Which means it’s a good thing I’m back at work now. I’m on the jet, flying to Missouri and sitting next to Emily and Luke. I’m staring out the window and thinking about two things: Atlas and Y/n. Which seems to be my entire mind lately.

Atlas is at school, and Florence, his nanny, will he picking him up and taking care of him until I get home. I trust her, have for years, but every time I’m not there, I worry my mind off. Hell, I worry my mind off when I am there.

And then there’s Y/n. Y/n who every time I see, I want to grab her face in my hands and press my lips to hers. Y/n who I’d be willing to risked getting shamed upon for being with my son’s teacher just to be with her. Y/n who I can’t have because I can’t have anyone.

Maybe my promise was a good thing because I sure as hell don’t deserve her. She’s too good for me. In every way.

Maybe Lily was right to leave me. Maybe I’m too much or not enough. Y/n deserves better than what I could give her.

“You okay over there, kid?” Luke asks, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at me.

I glance over at him and nod. It’s a little funny how they still call me kid when I have my own child. That’s beside the point though.

“You sure? You look like you’re contemplating existence.”

“Maybe I am,” I shrug with a short laugh.

He looks at me even more worried.

“I was kidding, Luke.”

“But something’s up. I can tell,” he says.

“It’s not a big deal. I’ll get over it.”

“If it’s got you looking like this, then it is a big deal,” Emily chimes in.

I look over to my right, giving her a thin lipped smile. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re such a liar.”

“Fine,” I groan. “It’s… a woman.”

“Oh my God. The good doctor has lady problems?” Luke laughs.

“And that’s why I was being quiet,” I roll my eyes.

“Ignore him, go on,” JJ says.

The entire jet is now interested in my issues. Great.

I take an exasperated breath. “I like this woman… really like her…”

“That doesn’t seem like an issue,” Emily says questioningly.

“Unless she doesn’t like you back?” Luke asks.

“Well, she asked me out,” I inform them.

JJ raised her brows. “Yeah, I’m really not seeing the problem here. The girl you like asked you out. Isn’t that a good thing?”

This does probably sound stupid. They don’t know the reason why I haven’t dated anyone since Lily. In fact, I don’t think they know the real reason why Lily and I broke up. Im sure they figured it out though.

Morgan knew. And it’s times like these where I wish I still saw him every day because I think he would understand what I’m trying to say right now.

“Because I can’t be with anyone.”

“What does that mean?” Rossi asks.

“I can’t date anyone. It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Because of Atlas?” JJ asks softly. “Because I know he’s young, but he’s mature. I think he would understand if you started dating someone. He’d understand that she isn’t his mom, but you care for her.”

JJ’s a mother. She gets this. Part of it at least.

“I can’t bring someone into his life that may not be there permanently,” I say in a low voice. “I don’t want him to be sad because I brought someone into his life that isn’t going to be there forever. He’s different. He doesn’t process things the way other people do.

I can tell by the way they’re looking at me that they know I’m not just talking about Atlas; I’m talking about myself. I let someone in that isn’t here to stay. I’m not sure if I can handle someone leaving again. Not after there’s been so many: my dad, Elle, Gideon, Emily more than once, and then Lily.

I hate the looks of sympathy my friends/coworkers are giving me. I want to hide away and push this out of my mind.

“Spencer,” Tara says gently. “You can’t not allow yourself to be happy just because there’s a chance at potential heartbreak. That’s just how life works. We let people in, and they either stay a part of our lives or they don’t. And nine times out of ten, when they don’t it’s a good thing.”

“Are those real statistics or guesses?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Spencer!” Emily rolls her eyes, but laughs a little.

“Sorry,” I chuckle. “Okay. Can we stop talking about my thing now? Let’s change the subject.”

“If you promise to think about it.”

“Think about what?” I ask.

“Letting her in. Giving it a chance,” Tara tells me.

I nod my head that’s that. We change the topic.

—————

It’s Spring Break, and Spencer and I haven’t talked in a week and a half. I’m not sure what’s up with him, but I don’t want to brother him in case he’s working.

So instead, I occupy my time with books, friends, and iced coffee. The usual, really.

I wish I knew what went on inside Spencer’s mind. At least about me. His words say one thing but his eyes say another.

He says he can’t and that we’re just friends, but when he thinks I’m not paying attention, I catch him looking at me for a little too long. I catch his eyes raking down my body. With any other man I’d be a little offended, but I want him to undress me with his eyes. I want him to picture me without my pretty blouses and cute pants. I want him to enjoy the thought.

I’m starting to think about him way too much. Maybe I’m touched starved or suffering from attention deprivation, but I want him even more now than I did before.

But I don’t just want him for his looks or for his sex appeal. I want him for him. Because he’s a great person, and I think he’d make an excellent boyfriend.

But maybe he doesn’t want a girlfriend. Maybe he just wants to stay single or focus on Atlas, which is totally understandable. Or maybe he’s had a bad history with relationships; I may not be a profiler like him, but I kind of sense some relationship baggage. And then there’s the possibility that he just doesn’t like me, but (not to sound cocky) I doubt it.

Maybe I should just quit pining over him. Men with emotional baggage aren’t exactly the best in relationships. They’re projectors. I don’t think Spencer would be this way, but I don’t really know do I?

The much needed week off is way too short, and I’m back in the classroom with the kiddos. After math and science, I let them tell me and each other what they did over the break.

Atlas says his daddy was gone to work, but he seems happy when the kids say his dad being an FBI agent is really cool.

Speaking of his dad, I wonder how he’s doing or if he’s back home. We haven’t texted in a while, and I’m starting to feel like I’ve done something wrong. I decide to text him to see what’s up.

—————

Y/n’s name and number pop up on my phone screen, and I can’t help but smile a little. I’ve missed her.

Y/n: Hey, what’s up?

Spencer: Just waiting for school to get out. I got home late yesterday, so Atlas was already in bed.

Y/n: Awh I’m sorry. I’m sure he’s excited to see you. And this is going to sound a little silly but I almost thought you ghosted me.

Ghosting: When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand.

I know this slang term from being around the younger generations so much on cases.

A ping of guilt jabs me in the chest. She thought I was blowing her off. I find myself not wanting her to feel any type of sadness ever again.

Spencer: What? No, of course not. I’ve just been busy.

Y/n: If you want to get together to catch up, I’m free this weekend?

Spencer: I don’t think I can this weekend. I’m taking Atlas to the zoo. He likes animals.

I realize it may sound like I’m blowing her off.

Spencer: Next weekend may work for me though. If the offer still stands?

Y/n: See you next weekend:)

I smile to myself.

I haven’t been that busy. Well, I have but not too busy to not text. The truth is, I’ve been avoiding her a little. I still don’t know what to do about the promise and me liking her, so I’ve been pushing her aside. I feel bad, really bad, but I don’t know what else to do.

For all I know, she’s probably lost interest in me by now. I turned her down, and I know some people are able to move on really fast after that. What if she’s already seeing someone else?

Now, a ping of jealousy jabs at my chest.

God, I’m a mess.

“So how was work?” Y/n asks me, a friendly smile on her face. A smile I have grown to adore.

“It was good. This case took a little longer than expected, but overall it was successful,” I inform her.

She nods, taking a sip from her coffee.

“How was your work?” I ask.

“It’s been good. The kids are progressing, some more than others, but that’s how it always is,” she says.

Just as I’m about to say something else, she says, “I think the school is talking about moving Atlas up to second grade next year, but you didn’t hear that from me. They’re planning to call you and see what your thoughts are.”

“Really?” I grin softly. “Wow. I mean he’s already younger than the kids in his class, but I suppose that’s a hypocritical reason for me to say no. I was 12 when I graduated.”

“High school?” Her pretty eyes widen at me.

I can’t help but chuckle. “Mhm.”

“Damn, Spencer. I knew you were brilliant, but damn. That’s five years younger than I was. Five whole years,” she laughs with disbelief.

I blush, enjoying the slight praise she’s giving me.

The lunch goes on, and the two of us talk about whatever our words lead to next.

“Hey, Atlas,” I call for my son then pat the couch cushion next to me. “Come here.”

He puts his action figure down and joins me on the couch.

“I have to ask you something.”

“What?” He looks up at me curiously.

“So you know how I told you promises are meant to be kept?”

He nods, looking at me as if to ask “Where is this going, Dad?”

“So Daddy made a promise a while ago, and I’m not sure if I should still keep it.”

“It depends on the promise,” he says. Not what I was expecting. “Would breaking it hurt anyone?”

“Not physically, but there’s a potential that it might emotionally later down the road,” I tell him.

Atlas ponders on that.

“But it may not. And it may make me very happy.”

“If it makes you happy, then I think it’s okay. But I don’t know, you did promise.”

Exactly where I’m at on this situation, kid.

“What if I did a trial run, huh?” I ask. “I break the promise just for a little bit, and if it goes well, the promise is long forgotten.”

“But, Daddy you said you don’t forget anything.”

“Metaphorically forgotten,” I correct myself.

He nods. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Atlas nods again. “What was the promise?”

“How about I tell you if it’s metaphorically forgotten?”

He furrows his eyebrows. “Fine. Can I go read now?”

“Yep,” I nod and ruffle his wavy hair.

I’m going to talk to her soon. I’m going to break, well, bend the promise. If things go smoothly, then it’s broken for good. But if not, then I’ll put a bandaid on that damn promise and never bend it again.

That’s a lot of pressure.

Good thing Easter is coming up. Y/n isn’t having a full easter party for the kids and parents, but I know she’s doing something for just the kids. So I have a plan.

—————

I’m done with this shit. I know there’s something between us, and he can’t deny it anymore. He can turn me down again, but he can’t say there isn’t some type of spark going through the both of us.

Text time I see him, I’m going to tell him to quit being a child and start owning up to it. It just may be a little difficult to be stern when he’s so goddamn pretty.

There’s a knock on my classroom door just as I’m packing up to leave. I just cleaned the room since Easter eggs and plastic grass was scattered across the floor.

I open the door. Spencer. Well, maybe this is my time.

“Hey,” he says with a soft grin.

“Hey, where’s Atlas?” I ask.

“I just dropped him off for a play date with Henry and Michael…. we need to talk.”

“Yes we do,” I say. I decide to go for it. “Me first. Spencer, you can’t keep pretending that there isn’t something between us,” I gesture from me to him and back to me with my pointer finger. “You can reject me all you want, but I know the truth. I like you. I want you. And I know you feel something like that too, so can you please just for one minute stop with the ‘I can’ts’ and ‘We’re just friends’ bullshit, because that’s what it is. Bullshit. And I know you’ve probably been through something that’s made you this way, but it’s okay to let people in. Actually in life, we kind of all have to suck it up and let people in.”

He laughs softly. Actually laughs. My face turns beat red, and I’m both embarrassed and angry. This isn’t funny.

“Are you done?” He asks, and I kind of want to strangle him for that.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean,” Spencer chuckles, licking his lips. “Is that all? Because what I’m about to do has to do with what you just said, but I don’t want to cut you off.”

For a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me, but instead he hands me something.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with an Easter egg, Spencer? Do you know how many of these I’ve cleaned up today.”

He chuckles again, running a hand through his hair. “Open it.”

Expecting to find chocolate, I open the pink and yellow egg. There’s a folded up piece of paper. I unfold it, and a grin grows on my face when I read it. I shake my head, laughing softly.

The note reads:

Yes, I will go on a date with you.

And there’s a drawn on Easter bunny to the side of the sentence. He definitely drew it himself.

“You know,” he says, “if the offer still stands.”

I fight the urge to scream “Yes!” in his face. “I don’t know. Usually response times take less than an hour. This one took two months.”

Spencer’s face turns red, and he chuckles nervously. “Do I not get a grace period?”

“I suppose,” I say dramatically. “Only because you’re so cute.”

The red of his face deepens. “Oh yeah?”

Butterflies. Everywhere.

“Mhm. Now ignore what I said earlier because I’m a little embarrassed.”

Spencer grins. “Hmm no. It was kind of hot.”

I walk up to him, my arms resting on top of his shoulders. “Oh?”

“Mhm. Badass,” he nods, smiling down at me.

I stare up at him, my breath getting caught in my throat when I see him lean down closer to me. His face is not even an inch away from mine. He’s still hesitant, still anxious.

It’s me who closes the gap between our lips. I may have been the one to kiss him first, but he takes the lead. His lips are crashing into mine as if he’s been waiting for a long time to do this. I know I have. His hands are cupping the sides of my face, and I feel like he’s devouring me, but I like it. I like how hungry he is. I like being craved.

We don’t even care if a custodian or the principal comes in right now, all we care about is this kiss, is each other. Lips, teeth, and tongue collide together, and my heart is skipping so many beats I might go into cardiac arrest.

I’m the one to pull away too. I look up at him, and his eyes stay closed briefly until he meets my gaze with a smile.

“I’ve wanted this since we met,” I whisper, licking my lips, tasting him.

“Me too.” His words are just as soft as mine.

Spencer is backing me toward my room, but he doesn’t stop kissing me. His hands unbutton my blouse as we move. We finally make it to my bedroom, and neither of us care to shut the door. I live alone, so it doesn’t matter.

We’ve been dating for nearly two months now, and we haven’t had sex yet, not for any particular reason just that we haven’t had the opportunity to. But tonight, with Atlas with his friends and summer break having just started… well, here we are.

The rest of our clothes come off in between kisses and touches. We’re eager, craving each other.

Spencer sits down, watching me take off my panties and kick them to the side. I grip onto his shoulders and swing my leg over him, straddling his lap. Our mouths find each other again, like they’re finding their way home.

The touching and teasing from both parts gets to be too much after a while of his fingers crazy the bundle of nerves inbetween my legs and my hands playing with his length.

Soon enough, he’s slipping on a condom, and I’m lowering myself onto him. We both let out moans as he enters me.

I bite my lip, trying to be quiet. It’s been too long since either of us have done this.

Spencer grabs my chin gently and forces my teeth to release my lip from its confinement.

“Don’t hold back. I want to hear you,” he says, his voice so low and raspy that my already pulsing core gets butterflies.

I begin rocking my hips back and forth slowly, and his hands caress my body wherever they feel fit. Both of our sounds are filling the apartment, and we don’t even care if we’re disturbing my neighbors.

After a while of slow movements, Spencer decides to take control. He pulls me close to him, my chest right in his face, his arm wrapped around my back. His other arm leans behind him, stabilizing the both of us. He bucks his hips up quickly and harsh, making my moans grow louder. Spencer‘s mouth takes hold of my nipple, and the sensation is amazing.

My hands roam his back, nails scratching down it.

“Shit, Y/n…” he says breathlessly. “I’m about to come.”

I whine, tugging at his hair. “Me too.”

The two of us finish, one right after the other. After we’re all cleaned up, and our breaths are mostly caught, we lay down in my bed. Spencer’s head rests on my tits, and my nails scratch his back, this time lightly.

“That was amazing, beautiful,” he says with a smile I can’t quite see but I can feel.

I grin, blowing my sweat-laced hair out of my eye. “It was incredible.”

—————

In the morning, Y/n touches my face gently. “The five o’clock shadow you have going on right now is so sexy.”

I blush, a grin plastered on my face. “You in nothing but a t shirt is so sexy.”

Y/n smiles and rolls her eyes.

I spent decades building up these walls, and it only took her a few months to get through them. For six years, I was so scared of being hurt again that I almost missed out on this. I’ve learned that healing isn’t not getting hurt again, healing his knowing that you may get hurt again and still allowing yourself to live a happy life. It’s accepting what happened to you, and not forgetting but forgiving whatever self-blame you hold in your heart.

I’m on the healing journey, and Atlas is too even if he doesn’t know it, and I’m glad Y/n is here with us. I’m glad I was able to break the vow I took years ago. I guess some promises are better off broken.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @crynroom @scarredelirium @reid1nspiration @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @youcantseem3 @xmysec0ndself @trikigirl271 @mikaylafairy @prettypanda13 @strawberrysunglasses @sad-innit @sydney-m @depressedprincess24 @flyingmushroomss @r3idsp3ncer <3