5;15PM NETEYAM

5;15PM ─ NETEYAM ⊹ ִֶָ

contents. fem!omaticaya!reader, drabble, pure fluff, sleeping together

notes. 😋😋

it was your first night at the awa'atlu village with the sully's. your muscles were aching and sore, your mind exhausted from the long way. while the village has fallen quiet, the night begun to take over. all the families were slowly, yet surely retrieving back to their own marui pods, ready to rest after a lengthy day.

sitting near the burning lantern with your legs crossed, you suppressed a small laugh at the sight of tuk struggling to take off her beady necklace. "hey!" with a pout, tuk let out an offended grunt at your reaction. "i'm sorry, tuk. i can help you, if you want?" edging closer to the young girl, you offered, as she swiftly nodded in agreement, before turning her back to you for better access.

simply, you took off her necklace, before placing it in the palm of her small hand. "here you go." with a soft smile, you announced, earning a grin from tuk in response. "tuk...?" from the other side of the mauri pod, a voice echoed. with a confused expression, tuk turned to the side, her eyes falling on her older brother. "what do we say?" furrowing his eyebrows, neteyam hinted. tuk's eyes widened, before her snapped turned back to you. "thank you, y/n!" tuk's innocent grin only grew. "you're welcome." lips twitching into a smile, you replied.

as tuk went back to getting ready for bed, making sure all her toys were in place, your eyes fell on her older brother - neteyam. he was looking at his sister with a soft expression and you couldn't help, but feel your smile only grow wider at the sight. his eyes soon met yours, as you got off the ground and made your way towards him.

standing in front of him, you reached out your hands to caress the side of his arms. "tired?" you simply asked. "mhm." closing his eyes and resting his forehead against your collarbone, his body relaxing upon your touch, neteyam hummed. sneaking your arms around his neck, you pulled him closer - your body desperately longing for his touch as well.

as neteyam's arms made their way towards your waist, a voice interrupted you. "time for bed, kids!" walking inside the mauri pod, jake called out, followed by neytiri. lo'ak was already asleep - or at least pretending, facing the wall. laid down, kiri observed the beautiful shell in her hands, barely acknowledging her parents' presence. excitedly, tuk jumped towards her parents' made bed, before tiredly rubbing her eyes, jake and neytiri soon trailing behind her.

you and neteyam didn't even bother to share a look with one another, before the two of you begun to lay down next to each other, getting comfortable. "nuh-uh." pointing his finger between the two of you, jake suddenly broke the silence. with a confused look, you glanced at the man. "you two are not sleeping together." jake declared, causing neteyam to roll his eyes. "dad." he pleaded, as his shoulders dropped.

your relationship with neteyam was no secret, yet jake was too suspicious of your - as he'd call it - funny business.

"no, y/n can sleep with kiri, if she wants." jake offered, before turning around, meaning those were his final words. you let out a disappointment sigh, before turning to face neteyam. you could never hold it against jake - he meant well. after all, you two were still young and what you liked to joke and tease neteyam about is maybe jake was afraid of becoming a grandfather way too soon for his liking.

leaning in, you pressed a quick peck on neteyam's cheek. "good night." you whispered, as his smile mirrored yours. making your way towards kiri, she scooted over a bit, giving you space. you thanked her with a smile, before laying down and getting comfortable.

the light from the lantern was blown off, as the pod echoed with bunch of muttered 'good night' wishes, before peaceful silence took over. you closed your eyes, focusing on the sound of the ocean beneath your marui pod - but no matter how hard and how many different positions you've tried, you couldn't fall asleep. you were missing something and you knew exactly what it was.

looking over your shoulder at the corner, where neteyam laid, you bit your lower lip, silently wondering for a minute. you quickly glanced at jake and neytiri, who were sound asleep with tuk cuddled between them, before getting up - carefully enough to not wake up kiri. you held your breath, as you quietly made your way towards neteyam. laying down, you placed your head next to neteyam's, adoring his features with a warm feeling in your chest.

your body tensed at the sight of his eyes slowly fluttering open. but instead of a surprised face at the sudden sight of you, neteyam only grinned, before pulling you closer to his chest. you had to hold back a giggle at his move, as he placed his chin on top of your head. sneaking your arms around his waist, you let out a long relived sigh.

with no words exchanged, the two of you closed your eyes, soon falling asleep - now in each other's comforting arms.

as the sun begun to rise, the whole sully family was still asleep - except for jake. he slowly stood up, his eyes roaming around the pod, making sure everyone was in their place. his eyes slightly widened, when his gaze fell on kiri, but no sight of you, yet his worries didn't last long. his gaze snapped towards neteyam, who was deep asleep, only with you cuddled to his chest. jake couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh, shaking his head from side to side, before smiling gently upon the two of you.

a hand appearing on jake's shoulder startled him a bit, as he looked to the side - just to be met with neytiri's soft expression. "they are lucky to have each other." neytiri whispered, her eyes on you and neteyam. "they are." jake's eyes met his mate's, as he could only smile in response.

All I breathe (4)

Pair: Azriel x Vanserra Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: language, violence, mentions of abuse, PTSD, death

Summary: The time has come for Y/n to do her duty as court emissary and meet with the High Lord of the Autumn Court. She experiences the effects of what it is to be back at Court and a little bonding time with her brother.

Playlist

Available on Wattpad and AO3

Masterlist - Series Masterlist - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Azriel was gone the moment you awoke. He left no sign of him sleeping on the floor, no sign that he was here at all. You praised the gods for that, you didn’t want to see his stupid arrogant face after all that was said the day prior. You rolled your eyes so hard at the memory it hurt. Fuck him.

You refreshed yourself in the washroom, staring into the mirror, you had to muster up all the courage you could to face your family. You had to be prepared for every and anything they would throw at you. The girl that reflected back on you was weak and afraid. The same girl who you were all those years ago, you were right back where you started. A hell of your own making.

You would change that. The dresses that were put in your wardrobe were new, more mature like they could sense what you have become- what they thought of you now. You supposed you should be grateful they hadn’t had it in their mind that you are how you were before, what would be worse?

Do you make them underestimate you? Have them be blind to what truly lies beneath so they wouldn’t dare think that their poor pathetic little Y/n couldn’t possibly betray them? Or Do you let them suffer and writhe under your newfound power? You were a highly regarded member of the Night Court and they shall treat you as such. The latter was what you needed to portray yourself as if you believed it- so would they, and they would not dare undermine you.

You called upon the handmaidens that were assigned to you when you arrived. An intricate hairstyle was familiar to one you donned as a girl, one you knew your disgusting brothers loved to see you in. Remind them that you did not forget the past and that you have grown. Dark shadowed coal lined your eyes, with a dark rouge on your lips, intense maturity was what you were going for and the handmaidens had done you justice.

Power was what stared back at you in the mirror of your vanity. The dress you wore would show them that you were a part of the Night Court now, not to be fucked with.

Eris was standing at your threshold with a hand behind his back, one hand up, and ready to knock. Your handmaidens who opened the door and were about to leave gasped and curtseyed murmuring their apologies.

He chuckled, “They are frightened so easily.”

You gave him an unamused look, flattening your dress in your lap before standing. You held your chin high, the beginning of your act. You were not her any longer, you were not afraid. “Must you be so… you.”

It was his turn to be unamused, “You used to be fun.”

“I used to want to hide my face from embarrassment every time you opened your mouth.”

He inhaled deeply, “I’ve come to escort you to your meeting.”

“Father’s orders?” You assumed he would want to keep a close eye on you. You dreaded the hours to come, for some reason you hoped would be explained, Beron had requested you sit in on the Court meetings. Meetings that had no time for breakfast.

He ignored you and offered up his arm, you linked yours with his and began to walk in the direction of the room where all the boring officials held their business. Silence greeted you once you stepped through the door, and your heart increased its pace, this was one part of emissary work you could not stand. Boring old meetings full of business you truly did not want to discuss. You wished your work was more exciting, spywork was one you would enjoy if you got to set your own terms.

Alas, Azriel did not trust you and you did not want to report to him any more than you already had to. At least this way you got to spend time with your brother and he could be the mediator between the two of you, bonus was when he handled the boring bits for you. You weren’t much for politics, and didn’t know how to manipulate conversations for the sake of political power so much as manipulating people into telling you information with ease.

It should be an easier job for you considering the means were practically identical. Except, one involved bargaining, tit for tat and the other was just chit-chat.

Your father barely greeted you as you took your seat in the chair you assumed was assigned to you. The meeting went on with Autumn Court business that the Night Court didn’t have anything to concern itself with, at least nothing was spoken of in your presence.

A second meeting was held with some merchants, trading, and such. By the third meeting, you were out of it. Your eyes were blurred with boredom but you held onto every word that could be coded, nothing interesting. To keep yourself awake, you picked at the loose skin around your nail bed, you didn’t even flinch as a pinprick of blood appeared. You sighed as they spoke.

Eris was seated to the right of your father, chiming in at times only to be judged harshly by him. It was your only form of amusement. By the time all the other fae had exited the room, Beron, you, and Eris were left. A servant appeared from a secret door holding a tray of wine and fruit.

“What a shock it was to hear that my only daughter had traded her allegiance to her former husband's enemy?,” Beron swirled his wine thrice before sipping. “You must tell me what it is that allures you to the Court of nightmares.”

The confrontation caught you off guard, you had expected him to dance around the subject of your arrival. Perhaps make a game of it, but he hadn’t bothered to waste his time.

“The company I suppose.”

“Over the company of your own blood?” As if he ever cared about the family of all things.

That’s what this was. The endless hours of meetings with no food, a tactic to exhaust you before he dug his claws in you. Rile you up so that you may slip out unwarranted information. Though the torture was meant for you, your father appeared to be more worn out than you were.

He sighs, pinching his forehead with his thumb and index. “What brings you here, Child?”

“I do not know what you mean, Father.” You imitated his movements, “Perhaps I just wanted to visit the Court I love the most.”

Eris snorted, alerting you both that he was still in the room. Beron eyed him and refocused his attention on you, “You’re not stupid, stop acting like it.”

You held your chin up high, resisting any temptation to lower your head and pick at your nails. The tell of yours was well known in your family, it would too easily give off a signal of your nerves, you couldn’t have that.

“I was sent to assure the safe arrival of my lords spymaster,” You cleared your throat. “Our courts have not always seen eye to eye and as your daughter, I was to be seen as leverage.”

He waited for you to continue, he was the one who asked and yet he didn’t care for a word you said.

“A prisoner of ours has been known to cross your border,” Not the truth but not exactly a lie. That was the best form of manipulation, Beron could suspect all he wanted but he would not know what fully lies beneath if he ever wanted to look into it. “We only need time to investigate, and retrieve said prisoner and we’ll be out of your hair.”

Beron hummed in thought, the only indication he was listening at all. “Very well.”

Eris’ face was pensive, he must not have bought what you were selling but he wasn’t the one who needed to be convinced.

“He will be here in a day once word is sent of your approval.”

“I must know of what importance this prisoner is to your High Lord.” He leaned back in his chair.

You rolled your shoulders back in an attempt to ease the tension that threatened to show, “I’m afraid I am not privy to such information. I’ve told you all that I know.”

You prayed that he would not press, save any further investigation for a later date. Preferably when your stomach was full and you had a conversation with Azriel on how to proceed. Gods knows you don’t need to fuck up this mission, especially because of your deep-rooted issues with your family.

Thankfully your prayers were answered and he had grumbled for you to leave but not before vocalizing his last request, “You will bring me the prisoner once he has been caught.”

The air left your lungs as you gave him a tight nod, turning and exiting the large wooden doors of the meeting room. Eris led you out, staying close behind you. You marched straight for the kitchens which were several levels below where you were now, bursting through the doors, the servants stared in shock as they tried to process what just happened. You ignored them and beelined toward the food that was being plated for what you assumed was for lunch.

You scarfed down the pastry that sat on the plate so prettily before, crumbs on the corners of your lips, you reached for another hoping to eat your worries away.

“Not very ladylike of you,” Eris tugged on a stray hair.

You swatted his hand away and with a full mouth you told him to ‘fuck off’, he wrinkled his nose. You leaned on the wooden table where you acquired your food, he leaned beside you.

“A wonder how you managed to find yourself a husband with those manners, especially one like Tamlin.”

Your throat begged for water when you swallowed the roll of bread that you stuffed fully into your mouth. “Not surprising, you haven’t found yourself a wife with the way you taunt a female for eating when she has been deprived of what gives her body fuel. If you must be near me, be useful and fetch something to drink, will you?”

He gave you an appalled expression yet he left and brought back what you asked for. You chugged it down, wiping with the back of your hand any free droplets of water.

“What in Cauldron's name happened to you?” Eris searched your face as if it will give him any semblance of an answer.

“Do you actually even care?” You asked though you knew he truly didn’t. You were always the same person, you just didn’t hide it anymore. They couldn’t hurt you into submission, they couldn’t groom you to be their perfect little spy anymore. You didn’t have to hide your personality to fit into the standard of females that they thought could get males to spill every detail of their life with a line of seduction.

“Would it be so hard to believe that I do?” He glanced around to see if any servants were listening in. You’ve had enough of him and the rest of your family for the rest of the day, your goal was to stroll around the forest, get a lay of the land.

You simply walked away but apparently, the words exchanged were not enough for him, he grasped your elbow, and you whirled around to face him. You looked at where he held you, he realized his mistake and let go.

“I- I do care for you, sister.” He visibly struggled to get the words out, your eyebrows arched in confusion. He searched around once again for any onlookers before whispering, “I wish to help you.”

“I don’t need any help,” You insisted.

“The meeting with father might have gone well today but I must advise you to keep your wits about you while you are here,” He pressed. “There could be something amiss.”

“What do you know that I don’t?”

“Nothing yet,” He shrugged. “But you know as well as I do that our family is not a merciful one and if you have any ulterior motives, act carefully. He is having you watched though he has nothing to persecute you with.”

You took what he said into consideration, Beron didn’t have any proof that anything was amiss. So far so good, everything was going according to plan and if Eris is being truthful, you gained an ally.

You swallowed your pride and gave him a grateful nod, “Thank you.”

“There is a ball being held tomorrow night,” He called out to you once you were a few feet away. “In your honor, it was meant to be a surprise by the High Lord but I don’t think you’re fond of them.”

You continued down your path without responding and jeered at his attempt to show that he knew you in some way, but you appreciated the heads up. You would have to form a plan.

~~~

The sun had set by the time you came back to your room, you strolled through a nearby town that you used to frequent, bought a bouquet of blue fire lilies, and window-shopped the rest of the day. Despite the drama of being back where all the darkest parts of your childhood were held, you found beauty in the simplicity of life.

You sighed as you entered the room, slipping off the heels and setting the flowers that you had put into a clear vase on your bedside table, you summoned the fae light to brighten your dark room and you were met with a tall dark figure that had walked out of the washroom.

“Cauldron,” You cried out clutching your chest. You saw the familiar glow of the Shadowsingers' blue siphons and your heartbeat decreased its pace after a couple of seconds.

He stood at the threshold of the washroom, his eyes wandering over your body and around the room. You assumed he was sussing out if there were any threats from the sound of your shock.

Once he deemed the room safe, as always he ignored you and went about with whatever post-mission routine he had to unwind. You showered and washed the day off of you, the makeup from earlier was gone and you missed the mask that it gave you.

You settled yourself in your bed, you opted to skip out on dinner, and you ate plenty before returning to the palace so that you didn’t have to endure another meeting with your family. Luckily, Beron hadn’t sent for you the rest of the night, all was clear.

You and Azriel didn’t speak even as he prepared his sleeping set up on the floor. You turned over so that it would be easier to ignore the male on the ground willing sleep to take over.

Nothing had gone as planned, your brothers were waiting for you and you were waiting on your secret lover. This was foolish- sneaking about for little over three months with a boy who was wanted, while still doing your side missions for them. You were bound to get caught and what would you do then? What will he do? He was risking his life just being acquainted with you and yet he was still here. He loved you and you loved him.

You should have set the trap for your brothers to arrest him weeks ago, months ago. He knew, you told him as much, he charmed his way into letting him live and you let him. He was the only one of the men who hadn’t tried to assault you in some way or other. The bar was low but considering the fact that the only love you knew was from your twin and your mother, whenever you were allowed to see her, you craved kindness.

The forest was where he held your dates, a part of the woods that was forbidden for its dangers, after a quick scope of the area done by you and your lover- you had deemed it safe for your secret dates. He was never late to not a single one knowing how risky your rendezvous’ were, and he also never failed to tell you how precious his time with you was.

Five minutes had passed and suddenly you heard shouting in the distance. Anxiety gnawed at you, what if he had been caught? Who caught him? Maybe you could talk your way into gaining his freedom. No, you refused to believe that he was captive.

Every instinct in your body urged you to stay away but you couldn’t, if he was in danger you would go to him. You didn’t have to run far before seeing two of your brothers with their arms locked around him while the third repeatedly punched his face, he was unrecognizable. Bloody snot dripped down his nose, one eye was more swollen than the other though you were sure they would soon be matching.

His mouth sputtered out blood, he was trying to speak, perhaps to warn you to run.

“Stop!” You screamed in horror. “Stop please!”

Suddenly you were trapped in strong arms pulling you away, you fought him- Eris- he attempted to carry you away but you pried his arms away from you and ran towards your brothers. Your throat was raw at how loudly you pleaded with them to leave him alone. They didn’t stop, they beat him to the point of no pulse.

Your heartbeat raced, an overwhelming sensation pounding that rang in your ears. Your brothers released his body, letting it drop with no regard for the corpse that was your love. You fell to your knees next to him, you held onto his misshapen face and our chest heaved as you let out a blood-curdling scream that could be heard throughout the whole Court.

You woke with a start, a gasp that reminded you that you were alive. You were alive and he wasn’t, it had been a century since you lost your love yet it didn’t stop hurting. You felt your heartbeat through your ears, it slowed its pace with every breath that you took. You hadn’t realized the wetness of your cheeks until a sob clawed its way up your throat. The pain from your nightmare- your reality was all too real. In your sitting position on the bed, you pulled your knees to your chest with a hand covering your mouth to halt any noise that threatened to escape.

If only the Shadowsinger hadn’t chosen to block the path to the washroom, you would be able to hide away in there. Unfortunately, if you so much as tiptoed over his body he would be alerted.

As if the mere thought of him raised him from sleep, you heard him shuffle and suddenly half of his torso appeared from the side of the bed. It was too late to toss yourself under your covers and pretend you were sleeping, though you had thought about it. If you laid down now you already knew that the sobs you tried so hard to contain would leave you. You silently begged that he wouldn’t make a cruel comment about your vulnerable state.

To your favor, he didn‘t. He didn’t go back to sleep either, he rose from his spot on the floor and sat with half of his body on the bed. His head moved slightly in a nod, his eyes half-lidded from sleep, he was asking you to scoot over. You frowned at him quizzically but moved over twice to give him space.

Somehow the lack of clothing between the both of you didn’t seem to bother you, he was without a shirt (he must have taken it off after you had fallen asleep) you were sure he had one on every time he’d gone to bed. He wore only his underwear and you had on one of the many silk nightgowns that were hung in the wardrobe. You felt the heat radiating off of his body as you were sure he could feel yours from the closeness.

“What are you doing?” You croaked out, the tightness in your throat making your voice come out with a slight rasp.

“I will not ask you to speak about what happened if you do not wish to,” He licked his lips. “I know what it is to be haunted by memories.”

Part of you wanted to shove him off the bed and scream but you didn’t. You had no fight in you, you were tired and hurt. Your heart ached painfully for the boy who taught you that there was beauty in life, for the boy who knew of the horrors you’ve experienced, had sentenced others to go through- and had loved you. The boy who did not live. A tortured sound came from your lips, your head fell onto your arms that were held up by your knees. Your shoulders shook from the sobs, you didn’t care if he saw you like this anymore, you didn’t care about anything anymore if you were being honest.

You could feel the hesitation off him, you felt the weight upon your shoulders. You looked up at him with wet eyelashes questioning his every move and motive, he simply pulled you closer. Your head lay in the crook of his neck, his hand that you were now suddenly aware was gloveless, held you by your waist.

He held you in this position until dawn broke until the tears ran out and you were a sniffling mess. Just now he had shifted your bodies so that you lay on his muscled bicep, facing him. He hadn’t fallen asleep, staying awake the entire time without a word of complaint on how he didn’t get sleep. He wiped away any stray tears from your cheeks and once he was satisfied dropped his hand. He made sure that it wasn’t touching you more than it already had.

You whispered his name the moment his eyes started to glaze over with sleep, he hummed in response. You faintly traced the scars on the hand that lay between you, “Thank you for being here.”

His thumb grazed the top of your hand. “Sleep, Firewielder. You’re safe now.”

~~~

Next Chapter

Taglist:@kuraikei - @americancowgirl19 - @feyres-fireheart - @brekkershadowsinger - @marina468 - @highladyofhogawarts - @parker-natasha - @morks-watermelon - @valeridarkness - @judig92 - @honestlywtfisgoingon - @awkardnerd

(if your name is crossed out that means tumblr won't allow me to tag you)

— 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴

the lowdown — the one where neteyam is shackled by appearances, but you couldn’t care less. 

the who — neteyam x fem omatikaya!reader

the word count — 2.2k

the tags & warnings — language ,, misunderstandings (i love this trope and this is a hill i’ll die on i’m SORRY) ,, neteyam’s friends can be shitty, but mean well ,, reader just wants to love up on her boy :(

the notes — based off of this request! this is another addition to my neteyam content, but ik some of you guys are itching for some other characters, so i'm probably gonna steer in another direction & write for kiri & tsireya so if that interests you, stay tuned! <3

(not proofread well lmao)

masterlist

Neteyam is many things; a kind spirit, a fierce warrior, a loving brother, a diligent son. But Neteyam is also new to love. Not quite new to being in love, but learning the act of loving you. 

He’d found so many ways to express his heart’s desire; written notes on scraps, gentle smiles, searing eyes. It was one thing in particular, though, that made his mouth dry, made his brain nearly short circuit, and it was your need to be in his space. 

Even after many days that bleed into weeks and meld into months, you make his cheeks warm with every lingering pass of your fingertips, make his stomach knot with every fluttering kiss to his skin. 

It’d been a pleasant surprise at first, but now it was a need, an absolute necessity to have you fused to him like a second skin. Your touch was a tacit word and he was learning to speak your language. 

The two of you together was normalcy and the clan members were more than delighted to know that the olo’eyktan’s son was lucky in love. But there were teasing whispers, lilting voices in the background that made something uncomfortable pinch the back of his brain. 

His skin would light up with equal parts want and embarrassment when you’d hang loosely around him during evening meals and the villagers his age would giggle and murmur behind their palms about the two of you. Didn’t help that you were an oblivious thing, or maybe you didn’t care, when you’d hold his hand in your own, occasionally bringing his fingertips to your lips during casual conversation. 

And he didn’t mind loving you endlessly when you were just two souls enjoying each other, but he can’t help but tense when his eyes wander and he sees watchful gazes. 

“Mighty warrior is a needy one, huh?” 

His friends, comrades since childhood, surround him on a sunny afternoon. Neteyam pauses his actions, arrow in the midst of a sharpening. 

His spine goes rigid and his eyes narrow. 

“What are you on about?” he asks, jaw locking. 

“Even in the moments you aren’t with her, you’re thinking about her,” his friend Marin says with a shiteating grin. 

“Don’t even,” Neteyam warns, eyes rolling as he continues with sharpening his arrows. 

“Oh, come on,” another one of his friends guffaws, twining a new bow string. “You haven’t said a word since we sat down.” 

And he wishes he could form a solid argument, but you are on his mind, all-consuming as always. Can’t help it when he’s pined after you for years and only recently found the courage to act on his heart. 

“Maybe I just don’t want to engage with you assholes,” Neteyam bites, fist tightening around his dagger. 

“Yeah, because if you open your mouth, all you’ll be able to talk about is my girl this and my girl that,” Marin teases. “Who knew future olo’eyktan was so clingy.” 

“Yeah, like it’s me who’s clingy,” he grunts, resuming the task at hand with much more fervor. 

“Is it not?” Marin challenges. “Oh, ________, my love, look at these flowers I picked for you.” 

The blood is rushing to his ears as his friends howl with laughter. 

“Syulang, I wrote you twelve pages declaring my love even though we’ve seen each other thrice since last eclipse.” The taunting makes him seethe, makes the feeling of discomfort surface all over again and the words are spilling before he can plug the dam. 

“Of course it’s not me,” Neteyam scoffs. “I keep my composure, but it’s her that insists on constantly reminding the village that we’re together. If I had it my way, nothing would have changed from when we were friends.”

It’s a lie and he knows it, his friends know it. But you, you who staggers outside of the training circle at the sound of multiple voices don’t know it. 

It’s like a swift strike to the gut, one that squashes every butterfly that tickled the lining of your stomach on your way to fetch the very man who’d held your heart and crushed it all the same. 

Your satchel, heavy with fruits and snacks for after your evening swim with Neteyam, weighs heavy across your front as you debate whether or not you should be listening to a conversation that is obviously not meant for your ear. But it’s like you’re rooted to the soil beneath you. 

“Yeah, okay,” Marin chuffs, obviously not convinced. “If you’re so bothered by your dynamic now, there isn’t any reason why you wouldn’t say anything. She’s your second skin and you love it.” 

He does, he thinks to himself. 

Of course he doesn’t, you realize, horrified, the thousand and one times your hands would find his body and he’d tense or shy away replaying like a horror reel in your brain. 

“I potentially hold the future of this clan in my hands,” Neteyam says. “It is my duty to endure all things whether or not I enjoy it.”

It’s like you’re doused with water so cold at the violent shiver that shakes your spine. 

Just another thing to endure, you mull over in your brain as the barge of emotions brims dangerously near the surface. 

You break from the edge of the clearing and you’re off. 

Something is off. 

And Neteyam is ashamed to admit that it takes him obnoxiously long to notice. Maybe it’s because he’s caught up in his duties, or maybe for once in his life, he isn’t worrying about meddlesome gazing, but the shift is imperceptible. 

You’re still you, so aching beautiful and devastatingly radiant, but something is different. He doesn’t pinpoint it until he’s bidding you a farewell, leaning into your space to plant a kiss on your lips when you ease away to beam at him nervously instead. 

His brows furrow when you wave, breaking away from him to scurry home. 

He thinks it’s a one off, something he shouldn’t read too much into, but he can’t help it. Not when he’s so used to your touch, so used to feeling the pads of your fingers denting his skin and the scald of your lips. 

He tries again a few nights later, after finally getting you alone. He’d been busy assisting his father in planning a raid at the end of the month and you were busy trying to put as much distance between the two of you.

“You’re awfully quiet, bug,” Neteyam observes softly, chin dipping under the water as he swims closer to where you float on the surface, eyes closed. 

You only hum, pleading silently that he’ll let it pass. But when his fingers skim your navel, you’re jerking away from him, settling so that a berth of glittering blue separates the two of you. 

He forces a laugh, wading closer to you as you seemingly shrink. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks when he sees something like discomfort flitting over your expression, concern eclipsing his features as he reaches forward to grab you by your arm. 

“Nothing…” you swallow, staring at the rounded stones beaded through the necklace you made him early on in your budding relationship.

He doesn’t buy it, tilting your chin up with deft fingers. 

“Hey, hey,” he says softly, searching your face for a tell. “Talk to me.” 

“Nothing,” you breathe, peeling away from him to wade back towards the embankment. “It’s nothing.” 

He watches as you hoist yourself up from the river, heart in his throat. 

He cracks when the others seem to notice, slowly catching onto the fact that the usually doting and loving partner of the olo’eyktan’s son is surprisingly distant. It’s during an evening meal, villagers surrounding the multiple fires, when it comes to a head. 

There’s an unusual space between your bodies as you chat with Kiri and a few others and he can’t help but close the gap as something akin to desperation washes over him. His fingers brush the span of your shoulders to pull you into his chest, lips a hairsbreadth from your temple before your palm snakes between your bodies and plants on his chest to nudge him away. 

He bites the inside of his cheek in annoyance as Marin and his other friends share knowing glances. 

While he boils silently, you ache to tell him that you don’t mean it, that there’s nothing more you’d want than to spend every waking moment in his arms, but that day in the clearing is a humiliating reminder that Neteyam is shackled to his honor and if it means making you happy despite his discomfort, he’d endure it all. 

You hate it, hate that he’d let you feel like things were alright leading up to this moment, that he’d suffer at the expense of mocking and badgering from his friends. Makes you feel embarrassed, sorry, that you’d read the two of you all wrong. 

You feel his fingers inching towards yours, pinkie overlapping with yours. Your hands involuntarily close into fists and that’s all it takes for Neteyam to shoot up from his perch on the log and take you by the elbow. 

There’s a hush as his friends and yours watch the two of you part ways with the group, the nearly feral look in their leader’s son suggestively mistaken. 

“Why won’t you touch me?” Neteyam asks fiercely, once enough distance lies between the two of you and the rest of the clan. 

His words make your cheeks warm, but he looks troubled, hurt. 

“I-” 

“Did I do something to disgust you? Did I…” 

His words melt into the background as you watch him with teary eyes. 

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Teyam,” you whisper. “You can tell me the truth. I’m a big girl.” 

“What are you talking about?” he asks, frustrated. “You’re the one hiding something. These past few weeks I’ve been trying to be with you, trying to love you and you keep pushing me away.” 

A twinge of annoyance erupts in the pit of your belly as you frown. 

“That’s rich coming from you,” you murmur hoarsely. 

“I’m so lost right now, ________,” he admits desperately. “We were fine, everything was great, and suddenly I feel like I’m losing you. Did I do something? Are you–” 

“Just be honest with me!” you cry out. “Why do you have to put on this front all the time? It’s just me, Neteyam! If I overwhelm you, if I embarrass you, just say it! It hurts worse when you act like it’s nothing.” 

And Christ, his friends were right. He is needy. Because you’re not a want but a lifeline. A dire necessity that he feels the need to cling to in this moment. This feels a lot like you two are splintering, and he’s about to open his mouth to ask what would compel you to say such a thing, but then it clicks. 

The final piece of the puzzle that he’d been agonizing over falls into place and his eyes are widening. 

“No,” he says vehemently. “That wasn’t–” 

“Is it not?” you cut him off as you dash the threatening tears away. 

“God, no,” he breathes. “I was– They were…”

You watch him with wet lashes and his heart aches as he takes the leap and pulls you into his chest with a shuddering breath. 

“I’m so stupid.” His chest rumbles as your ear presses to his heart, arms winding tightly around your figure to buoy you to place. “Fuck.” 

You hiccup and his hand cradles your head, peppering kisses against your hair as he sways your bodies like it’ll disorient the miscommunication and send it spiraling away. 

“I’m sorry,” you whimper. “I didn’t mean to be embarrassing. I–” 

“No, no, bug,” he swallows, hugging you so tight, you struggle to suck a breath into your lungs. “You’re not, I promise. I could never be embarrassed by you.” 

You shudder so hard his grip loosens, parting with you to cup your flushed cheeks in his hands. 

“They were ripping me a new one,” he says shakily. “Told me I was needy, clingy, and I was embarrassed because they’re right.” 

Your throat bobs and Neteyam’s thumb brushes over the apple of your cheeks. 

“You make me so weak, you don’t even understand,” he laughs humorlessly, body wracked with nerves, with want, with need. “I said it to save face because I never know what to do with myself around you.”

“You—”

“And I know it was wrong, talking out of my ass to get them to shut the fuck up,” his language is a crass reminder that he’s a former marine’s son, “but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being yours.” 

Yours. 

It’s a sound declaration, one that makes you crumple like a baby because you’ve missed your person, and Neteyam hugs you close again. 

“I’m sorry I’m so clueless sometimes, bug,” he whispers, cheek nuzzling the top of your head. “Love you more than anything, I mean it.”

You hiccup again. 

“Love you, too, stupid” you mumble, arms wrapping around the narrow of his waist. 

It’s your first meaningful touch in weeks and Neteyam melts under the heat of your body, under the heat of your warm hands. 

neng © 2023

taglist; @nao-cchi , @jkiminpark , @philiasoul @amart-e , @s-u-t , @netesbby , @tayswiftlovebot , @dumb-fawkin-bitch , @ewackmn , @fanboyluvr , @neteyamoa , @itssiaaax , @girlpostingsposts , @athenachu

avoidance | azriel

summary; things are getting real between you and azriel, and a slight panic ensues.

word count; 2421

notes; idk man I just got out my laptop to write down a little drabble idea and out of nowhere this happened? 0 plot, 0 context, just somethin' cute, I guess?

“You’re avoiding me.”

You jumped, almost dropping the yoghurt pot in your hands, teeth clanging on the spoon as you pulled it back. Twisting to face the man now casually leaning against the counter, your eyes narrowed, wondering when he’d snuck up on you, and just how long he’d been there.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“What- I am not!” You spoke through your mouthful, wincing a little and deigning to swallow it, even though the previously sweet treat now felt like a spoonful of sand in your throat. “Why would I be avoiding you?”

“That’s what I’m asking you.” 

“And now I’m asking you.” You deflected, nose scrunching a little as you turned your back on the man you most definitely were avoiding a little bit, Putting down your yoghurt, you attempted to seem busy as you stared out of the window at the gardens beyond, the sunlight flittering through the leaves and lighting up patches with a golden glow. 

“We haven’t spoken for two days.”

“I’ve been.. busy.” The lie did not roll off of your tongue as easily as they did his, and you knew that he’d picked it up. Catching sight of him in the reflection of the window, you watched him shuffle, arms crossing over his chest, shadows coiling tighter around his body as his smirk fell away. Then his gaze met yours in the glass, and you gasped, refocusing on the garden beyond. 

“You haven’t been to training all week, either.”

“I’ve been to training, I just had to fit it in at different times!” Not technically a lie, you had been going to training, just at the most unusual possible hours you could think of, to be sure you wouldn't bump into him. His silence stretched on, uncomfortable and stifling, and you knew every trick in his book to get people to talk, this was the easiest one, and yet you caved, after barely thirty seconds. “I’ve been, y’know, chaperoning Lucien and Elain!” 

With one arm, you motioned to the couple outside, now wandering past the window, a pink flush on her cheeks to match the colour of her dress as they ambled along arm in arm, Lucien talking animatedly, a smirk on his face at her expression. They took no notice of you both. “I wasn’t aware they still needed a chaperone, what, with being officially mated, and all.”

Your lips pressed together, brows furrowing. “Well, you never know.”

Silence, again. Then, an arm was snaking around your waist, your gasp lost to a shaky breath as a kiss was planted to the space between your shoulder and your neck, another over your pulse. Soft and tentative and fragile, Azriel peppered barely-there kisses along your skin as his other arm looped around you too, pulling you back against him. 

“Az..”

“Why are you avoiding me?” He pressed again, this time, rather than cockiness at having caught you off-guard, a twinge of vulnerable pain lay in his voice. He moved up, the tip of his nose dragging over your jaw, a soft kiss pressed there too as he nudged your head to fall back onto his shoulder, as he squeezed his arms around you a little tighter, wings drooping over the sides of your body. 

“Because- because, we can’t.” The words tumbled from you, a confession you’d never actually wanted him to hear, and he froze, before turning you gently. Despite letting you go, he kept you just as trapped here, in the moment, hands locking onto the counter on either side of your body to keep you in place as he lowered himself enough that you didn’t have to tip your head up just to look at him. No excuses to avoid his gaze, then. “We can’t do this.”

“Oh, we most definitely can. And we did, in fact, we did a lot more than this, multiple times, on this counter, just last month.” When a grin broke free, despite your rolling eyes, a smile finally made itself known on his face. “We’ve established that we can do this, and that we like to do this.” Your mouth opened, and he shook his head. “Uh-uh, I know you liked it, I had scratches down my back that proved it.”

“Ego, much?”

“So, now that we know we can do this, why shouldn’t we?” He was serious again, dark brows pulling together, a wounded frown on his face, and you hated that look on him. Wanted to hold him, to use your fingers or lips to smooth away every mark until he looked happy and peaceful once again. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

“I can’t talk to you! That’s the whole point! You were my best friend, and you were the person I spoke to about everything, but I can’t do that anymore, and it scares me. What if we fuck up, and ruin our friendship? What if something goes wrong? What if you change your mind or this spark fizzles out, and.. and.. yeah..” You puffed out a sharp breath to follow it, unable to hold his stare now no matter how hard he tried. 

Only a second passed by, before he was huffing out a breathy laugh. One that soon transformed into a full-body chuckle, the deep sound vibrating over your skin, and a flush bloomed on your cheeks. “You’re freaking out.”

“I am not freaking out!”

“Oh, you are freaking out!” You reached out, shoving at his chest to get him to back up, storming away being the number one thing on your mind now, and that only made him laugh harder. So hard, his arms went weak, and he toppled a half-step closer to you, bringing him in so close his breaths were puffed over your hairline, and you had to look up to scowl at him now.

“You’re being a jerk.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just,” He took a shaky breath, daring to look down at you, calming himself into being able to at least offer a small smile to you. “I thought I’d be the one to freak out. I’ve been waiting weeks for it, since that very first night. I waited for you to wake up and tell me it was a mistake and for me to panic, and I waited after that first dinner to panic, and after the walk around the Sidra, and the picnic, and-”

“Don’t recap every date we’ve been on. It’s been months. We’ll be here for hours.” You grumbled, and if there had been enough space to do so without elbowing him in the ribs, your arms would be crossed over your chest. The thought of doing it purely for that reason flickered across your mind. 

“Listen, the point is, you’re freaking out. About us. I thought I was gonna’ freak out.” He was teasing, one thumb lifting from the counter by your hip to swipe gently at you, a test, to see if you were ready yet for his touch again. You were missing it.

“Stop saying ‘freak out’.” 

“Why?”

“Because you’re gonna freak me out!” The snap only made him laugh again, tipping forward to hide his face on your shoulder as he cracked up. You were mad at him, and scared, but above all else, your chest was all but bursting with affection at the way his body shook against you as he hid his amusement against your skin. When he was strong enough to pull back, he shifted, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he rose that had warmth racing to your face once again. 

“Look, you’re freaking out because we were friends first, but we didn’t stop being best friends when we started doing more.” His smile was genuine now, soft and caring and you gave a little sigh, a lump forming in your throat at the overwhelming emotions. He took one of your hands in his, rough thumb swiping over your knuckles. “I’m always going to be your best friend, and I want you to talk to me, about everything, still. The only difference is that now, sometimes I get to kiss you, hold your hand, take you out on dates and call you ‘my girl’ when I introduce you to people instead of ‘my best friend’.”

“Oh, that’s the only difference, huh?” 

“Well, it’s the only difference for now.” His murmur was soft as he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek, your other cheek, the tip of your nose. “One day, hopefully soon but I can wait, the only difference will be that instead of hanging at your place or my place, we’ll hang at our place. Maybe, one day, the only difference will be that instead of telling people you’re ‘my girl’, I’ll get to tell them you’re my ‘wife’. We can just be two best friends, who stand up in front of all our other best friends, and promise to be best friends for all of our immortal lives.”

“You’re really not freaking out about this?” You questioned, all of it sounding so wonderful and perfect and terrifying at the same time, and you expected Azriel to have been flying for the hills by now.

“Not even a little bit.”

“You know, I’m high-maintenance.” You pushed, and he only huffed in response.

“No, you’re not. You like to stay in bed and read for dates, or go on walks, and you almost cried that time I brought you a postcard back from my assignment.” You poked at his ribs, and he shrugged. “But, fine, you can become as high-maintenance as you want. I’ll be more than happy to maintain you.”

“Well, I’m an annoying drunk.”

“I know, I’ve been friends with you for an eternity, I am well-equipped to handle your drunk antics.” He smiled, leaning in, breath sharing with you as you watched him near, golden gaze tearing you apart with its intensity. “Anything else?”

“I will yell at you for leaving socks on the floor, and you will have to be the strict parent because you know I will cave, and I get bitchy on my cycle sometimes, and-”

“Shut up, I’m not going anywhere.” His whisper was only for you, so low that had he not been so close you’d have missed it, before his mouth was sealing over yours. Soft and warm, his lips move slowly, coaxing you to kiss him back, until you couldn’t take it any longer.

When you lifted your arms, wrapping them around his neck, he sighed happily against your mouth, letting his body fall entirely against your own, pressing you into the counter. He licked along your lower lip, tongue teasing, waiting for permission. You gave it, mouth opening for him as you scratched lightly through the hairs at the nape of his neck. He was barely holding himself up against you, his tongue smoothing against your own, dragging slowly, tasting what you’d denied him for days now. 

He shifted, hands tugging at your thighs to lift you onto the counter so he could step between them, step closer to you. With one hand smoothing down his neck, you could feel his pulse thrumming under your touch, his head tipping a little to kiss you deeper. Unhurried, loving and tender and sweet. He tasted like the lemon water Cassian had been making everyone drink after training lately, he smelt like sweat and faint spices, and he felt like home. 

He pulled back, a gasping breath before diving right back in, groaning as your lips met again and your giggle was swallowed entirely by his mouth over yours, hands squeezing at your thighs, sliding up to your hips, Then, he was tugging you closer, wrapping your legs around his waist before looping his arms around your lower back, much like a hug, holding you to him. His lips left yours, dotting kisses along your jaw as he caught his breath, your head tipping back for him, until he settled with his face in your neck once again, and you could feel his smile. 

Bringing a hand up from where they’d settled on his shoulders, you wove your fingers through his hair gently, a rumble of pleasure at the act shuddering along his body. “See? We’re still best friends, just with really good benefits.”

“They were pretty good.” 

“I, for one, happen to love the benefits.” He settled happily, adjusting you until you were pressed as close as you could get, your heart thudding a steady rhythm against his shoulder, beating all for him. 

“Yeah, well, I happen to love you.” Your words were a whisper, but you knew he heard them, and after a second, he stiffened in your touch, holding his breath on full lungs. Your fingers paused their movements in his hair. “What?”

“We’ve never said that before.” He pulled back slowly, eyes wide, a shocked look on his face, and for all of one second, panic flared up within you once again. Until he was smirking at you. “I think I might have to freak out for a second.”

“You’re such an asshole!” Your legs unhitched from around his waist, but he made no move to step back, a work of art between your thighs as his head tipped back in laughter. Sunlight from the window behind lit up his golden skin, adding an extra sparkle to his eyes as he looked at you, lips spread wide in a heart-stopping grin. “I take it back. I don’t love you anymore, and I don’t even want to be your friend. Get off.”

“Nope! You love me, and we’re gonna’ be best friends for the rest of our lives, and we’re gonna’ make lots of cute little babies and live in a cute little house, and-” You cut off his teasing by pulling his lips back to your own, a handful of his shirt over his chest and one hand on his shoulder, and his words were muffled, your smile hidden, as your lips found each other again. 

He might have been a cocky, teasing asshole, but he was all yours, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Shadows swirled happily around the both of you, cold tendrils brushing against your skin and through your hair as they hid you both from the outside world, a bubble made for only the two of you, where only you got to see him like this. So carefree, so happy. 

Into the kiss, as his hands slipped up to hold your cheeks, fingers tangling in your hair, he mumbled, “I love you too, sweetheart.”

folklore: invisible string ✩ jake sully

masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ folklore masterlist

summary: jake sully x female!reader, no use of y/n, fluffy goodness, so sweet TW!! eluded to death due to child birth

word count: 1,828

sempul (n) - father ; sa’nok (n) - mother

‘ite (n) - daughter ; ‘itan (n) - son

tanhì (n) - star ; tsuk/tsmuk (n) - brother

atokirina (n) - woodsprites ; seeds of the sacred tree

comments: cannot believe we are done w/ the series! this is so sweet, my pookie <3 (reader) is so happy so fucking deserved like my bae went through hell and back LMAOOO thank you so so much for the support y’all have given the folklore series, it really does mean the world to me. i will be posting few a drabbles for the story, just some things i wanted added  but was never able to make fit correctly (i have 3 little idea so far, so folklore isn’t really over haha) okok bye mwahhh ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

previous ✩

It took so much time to get the children to trust you and Jake again, not that you blamed them. You did keep such a big part of your life locked away, and it was hard to believe that you had really mated. It was more so hard for them to trust Jake again, because despite your persistence in trying to ease the tension they couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t believe their father was capable of doing that.

Keep reading

UNNOTICED – JOEL MILLER x SHE/HER!READER

SUMMARY – You said something to Joel while he was sleeping that didn’t go unnoticed.

she/her!reader || pure fluff + english isn’t my first language <3

Ellie passed by you and Joel and went inside, looking for something that you could use to lay Joel down. The man was using his last strengths to not give up in your arms and to keep walking until you both got to the house. One of your arms was around his body, your other one was holding the one he had around your shoulders so he could lay his weight on you until you both tripped and fell into the snow.

“No, no, no. Joel, come on, please.“ You tried to help him up again, but he was so tired and the wound on his stomach was dripping blood on the snow under you two. He raised his head and looked at you. He had to help you. You looked back at him with your eyebrows raised, begging him with no words to please help you. But he couldn’t do it anymore. When you saw that he was giving up, you decided to shout Ellie’s name for her to come to your help. You and the girl managed to get Joel inside the house and helped him to lay down on a mattress to finally see what his wound looked like.

“Oh, shit-” Ellie gasped when she lifted up his shirt. Your heart felt heavy inside your chest and for a moment you could feel it beating in your throat. You shook your head, coming back to your senses. Ellie already had time to react. Her hands were pressing a cloth to his abdomen and Joel was groaning in pain, complaining even more when you put your hands on the cloth over his wound as well.

“Leave.“ Joel mumbled. You shook your head, still applying pressure to his nonstopping bleeding wound and not realizing that he was not talking to you. “Leave. Take the gun.” He repeated and grabbed Ellie by the neck of her coat and pulled her closer to him. You looked at him confused, still shaking your head, not believing what he was asking both of you to do. You still seemed to not understand that you had no say in this.

“No, no, no.“ You tried to make him stop talking, but it was like you weren’t there for him. Ellie looked at you, scared and not knowing what to say to Joel but he pulled from her clothes tighter to keep her attention on him. It was going to be easier this way. Ellie and Joel were the rational ones, they know shit happens and that life is not fair, but out of you three, you were the emotional one. You were the one that spent almost two hours locked in the bathroom of Bill and Frank’s house after you found out that they were dead, you were the one that went a whole day without talking after seeing Henry kill himself and his brother in front of you.

“You go and you take her with you. You both go north. You go to Tommy.“ Joel ordered and pushed Ellie away from him, making the girl fall on her ass.

“No. We are not going to do any of that. There’s no way we’re leaving you here.” You told Ellie while using the cuffs of your jacket to wipe away your tears. The girl was not paying attention to you anymore, she was looking at Joel, and Joel was looking at her. Like you, she couldn’t believe what Joel was asking her to do. Ellie stood up, the anger clearly visible on her face as her eyes did not move from Joel’s. If that’s what he wanted, he would get it.

“No- Ellie, no!“ Her footsteps were loud as she disappeared up the stairs. “Why did you ask her to do that, huh?! What makes you think that I’m leaving you here?!” You yelled at him and got closer to his face, clutching his jacket in your fists. He couldn’t say anything else, his strengths were all gone to fight with you. His lips trembled while he looked at you out of the corner of his eye and Joel wished to die at that moment so that the last thing he saw was you. Even though if you had tears running down your face and you hated him for asking Ellie and you to leave him to die. You finally released the grip on his jacket as you gasped a ‘fuck’ and covered your face with your hands, trying to think clearly.

“Okay, let me see.” You got on your knees by his side and took his hands to remove them from the cloth covering his wound. Joel let your small hands compared to his cup his big ones before he linked your fingers together and caressed your skin with his thumb. Tears threatened to flow from your eyes again but instead of letting yourself cry in front of him again, you caressed his hand back. 

“Shit… okay- Use this one.” You grabbed a “clean” cloth and changed it for the already soaked-in-blood one. You heard upstairs the drawers being slammed shut and the frustrated sounds Ellie was making. Deep down you knew she would no leave but seeing her so determinate when she went upstairs really made you doubt.

You helped him to press the fabric into his wound. He was mesmerized looking at you while you talked to him with a soft voice trying to keep him awake. Ellie finally came back and it was as if you were seeing an angel carrying in her sweet little hands a needle and thread. You sighed and some tears streamed down your cheeks because of the relief. You were quick to wipe them off as you allowed Ellie to peel the fabric from his belly. You moved closer to his face and caressed his forehead.

“I know it’s gonna hurt but you gotta hang in there, okay?” Joel looked at you with his lips parted and a single tear rolling down his cheek. You were quick to capture it with your finger.

Joel turned his head to you, his neck tensed and his eyes closed shut. Ellie wasn’t enjoying this either, she was biting her lower lip trying to control the trembling of her hands so as not to hurt him more. You held his free hand. His other one was squeezing firmly the girl’s jacket. You rested your forehead against his, “It’s gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

He spent the rest of the day sleeping. Ellie and you never left his side, maybe because of the state of shock in which you were still in. You were ready in case something happened to Ellie, Joel would know what to do, and Ellie was prepared in case something happened to you because he would be there to take care of it. But none of you two were prepared for something like this to happen to him, it had caught you totally off guard. Each of you were seated at one end of the room, both of you hugging your legs. You couldn’t seem to take your eyes off Joel’s chest, making sure that he was still breathing. On the other hand, Ellie was staring at a fixed point. It was exasperating for you both not knowing what the other one was thinking but the lumps in your throats did not allow you to put it into words.

The next day you and Ellie shared the last bit of food you had left and decided to save some for him in case he woke up. You put your fingers inside the glass of water and let them wet Joel’s lips. Ellie checked his wound but it was starting to look even worse. The girl rested her head on your shoulder to have some rest and yours fell on top of hers. Ellie decided to go hunting, leaving you alone with Joel. You checked his temperature by pressing the back of your hand against his forehead and noticed that he was a little hot, so you decided to snuggle up next to him in case the blanket was not doing enough. You placed your head on his chest, feeling it slowly raise and fall, and you hugged his body against yours.

 “I’m lost without you, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to go- I can’t do this without you, Joel. I can’t- I can’t lose you. I’m not ready to lose you, please.“ You lifted your head to look at his sleeping face and you let out a sigh. His expression was peaceful, at least he was not in pain while he was unconscious. His lips were still wet from the water you applied to them before. This was probably so wrong but as much as you didn’t like to think about it, you didn’t know if he was going to recover from this. His wound was getting worse every day, what if this was the only chance you had? You stroked the hair growing on his cheeks and you moved your mouth closer to his. God, he was even prettier from there. "I love you.” You whispered against his lips and pressed yours to his. You fell asleep on his chest until Ellie arrived with two bottles of penicillin and a syringe.

He was different since he woke up. Maybe he thought he needed to be different after everything that happened with David. You liked the grumpy Joel, but you liked this version of him even more. He had been so talkative since he got better, he even mentioned his daughter Sarah a couple of times which was a surprise to you because you saw how Joel reacted when Ellie mentioned his daughter back in Jackson. You asked some questions about her because you noticed how his eyes sparkled every time he talked about his girl. She would’ve loved you, Joel said to you and you almost fell to your knees because of how that made you feel. Sarah still was the most important person to Joel, and him telling you that felt like the best of compliments.

Ellie ran after the giraffe when it left.

“We should go with her.“ Joel said and you nodded, agreeing with him and with a little smile on your lips thanks to the girl being so excited over the animal. Joel looked at you out of the corner of his eye, your eyes were on where the girl had left. The man threw his rifle over his shoulder, ready to go once you caught him staring at you. You looked down, your cheeks getting warm as you walked by his side.

“I heard you.“

“Huh?“

“I heard you talking to me while I was sleeping.“

“Oh.. I don’t- I can’t even remember what I said, I was probably freaking out because I thought you were gonna die, so…“

Joel nodded, pressing his lips together, a sign that he was not believing what you were saying. “I also was conscious when you kissed me.” 

Was it better to deny it and make him think he was going crazy or should you face it? “I’m sorry, I should’ve never done that-”

“I liked it.“ Joel said and you raised your eyebrows. “I mean- I liked you doing that, it’s not like I remember much about it.”

“Oh.“ You said surprised. “Oh.” You repeated again after realizing. You didn’t expect Joel to get angry over a little kiss but you also didn’t expect him to confess that he liked it, much less that he knew that you kissed him.

“I also heard what you said.” Joel repeated.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You told me you loved me-”

“Okay, that’s enough.” You shook your head, annoyed that he was being so insistent about it. You started walking, leaving Joel standing there when he grabbed your arm. He was far from finishing the conversation.

“So you’re okay with kissing while unconscious but you draw the line at saying I love you?”

“I told you that I’m sorry!”

“And I told you that you don’t have to be.”

“Then why do you keep insisting, Joel?“

“Because I know it’s not something you said just for the sake of saying it. It’s not because I was dying.”

You narrowed your eyes. With a sharp movement you managed to get rid of his grip on your arm, not in an angry way but in a you got me way. You didn’t like Joel reading you like that, it was as if he could see what was going on behind your eyes, what your head was scheming but most dangerous what you were feeling, and when you were lying. “Have you always been this cocky? Or is it because you’ve had a near-death experience?”

“Has it always been so difficult for you to accept your feelings?”

“Actually, yes.“

“Even when they are reciprocated?“

“Yes.“

“Wow. You got some serious issues going on there, huh.“ Joel said ans slowly took a few steps towards you.

“You just told me that you liked me kissing you.“

“Is it not enough?“ He was getting closer and closer and you did not want to move away from him.

“No, it’s not. I-“

“You want me to say I love you too?“

You nodded and swallowed nervously. You were the cutest. Joel smiled and held your chin using his thumb and index finger. “I’m not going to ask for your permission either, is that okay?” You nodded to his question, feeling his hot breath against your lips and a tight knot forming in the lower part of your belly. You wanted to complain again and told him that you already apologized for that but his cute way of asking for your consent without asking for it had you wishing for the distance between the two of you to disappear. 

Joel finally crushed his lips with yours. If he was honest, he was a little worried that he had forgotten how to kiss after all these years, but just your lips against him, one of your hands resting on his chest and his big one cupping your cheek felt good enough. Also, you didn’t even have the chance to go any further than that because Ellie appeared, spouting the harshest words out of her mouth once she realized what was going on.