That [Redacted]

That [Redacted]

It was no secret that trolls reacted differently to things concerning romance, as someone who was somewhat well versed in quadrants by now you could say that there really was some method to the madness. Truth be told it was all extremely straightforward- unless you were a clown. Gods above and below did that throw a wrench in things. From symbolism and ritual all the way down to the odd taboo clowns just loved to make things interesting- and often contradictory- despite being in a relationship with Marvus for as long as you had been those damn clowns still confounded you. 

Still, you’d learned to pick up on certain tells. Little mannerisms your matesprite couldn’t help himself from doing each and every time. Sipping at your drink as the troll next to you continued to ramble on- about what you had long lost track of- it was very clear they were getting on Marvus’ nerves. Really, he wasn’t subtle. Not anymore. The twitch of his ears every time your companion laughed at something they’d said, the flex of his hands around his cane when they leaned into your personal space. Honestly it was starting to get a little funny. They weren’t even hitting for your red quadrant- just making over the top and cartoonishly exaggerated small talk- but clearly Marvus had different feelings on the matter. Some time between them plopping down in your booth and throwing an arm around your shoulders Marvus had started inching his way closer and closer. He made a good show of it, of rambling and ‘wandering’ around the club. To the untrained eye he’d only ‘accidentally’ find himself back at your table.  “Ohmygoddd is that Marvvvy Xoloto? I legit can’t! Are you two here together?” The teal was now half sprawled across you to gawk openly like a stereotypical drunk sorority girl. One hand wrapped around a solo cup and the other still clinging to your shoulders. It was clearly getting to Marvus as you saw his brow twitch and his grin become a little more forced. Taking the solo cup from their glitter smeared claws you set it on the table and carefully guided them back into a sitting position. Your newly appointed bestie still refused to remove their arm from around your shoulders and while that didn’t bother you it was clearly bothering your matesprite more and more.  “Like Baaabeee, you should totally ask him to hang out with us!”

You couldn’t even attempt to stop the barking laughter that statement caused. The straw that broke the metaphorical camel’s back as Marvus all but appeared at your side to sneer a wide grin down at your companion- you should really remember their name because they seemed like a blast- and placed a single hand down on the table to lean over the two of you. Abruptly your companion stopped giggling along with you in favor of staring gobsmacked up at him.  “Omg babes did I like black out or did he teleport cause dayum!”  Marvus’ near livid red eyes softened a shade towards orange in confusion.  “Exactly how drunk are you right now?” You asked them in amusement.  “Ooooo what’s that earth show saying thang??? Oh! Oh! Oh! I found a liquor store and I drank it! Yeah! That’s the one.” “Let’s call you a cab then.”

“Awww but I wanna party!” Their arms wrapped around you in a vice as they pouted down at you. The shiny metallic sequins of their crop top were digging into your skin and you had a suspicion that there would be glitter in your hair for days to come. A low growl emanated from above you and to both your horror and amusement the teal blew a raspberry at him. 

“Ay tealz, wat tha fck you think you doin?”

“I am having a great time with my new bestie! Now buzz off grumpy pants!” They pointed a finger right in Marvus’ face causing him to go cross eyed and threw their legs over you to practically sit in your lap. Oh, you needed their name and number because they were now your favorite person. Giggling hysterically you patted their knee. Marvus was starting to look somewhere between murderous and exasperated. 

“That’s my matesprite yo’ dumbass is feelin’ up tealz.”

“Omggg you two are together together?? That’s adorable!” And yet they didn’t budge an inch. 

“Marvus could you help me get them into a cab?” You asked earning another whine from them. 

“But the party isn’t even over yet!” 

“Ye, but it be lookin like you dun had enough.” Marvus ground out. 

It took you wrapping an arm around their waist and half dragging half herding them towards the exit before they stopped whining. Marvus had been more than happy to clear the way and get them a cab which is when the night went from interesting to insane. Marvus had been trying to subtly goad the teal off of you as you waited for a cab but they had simply wrapped themselves more firmly around you. As the time for the cab dragged on Marvus continued to grow more agitated until finally, finally, the cab pulled up. 

“We should go to another party.” Ellari- you’d finally gotten a name- slurs cheerfully attempting to drag you with them to the cab. Marvus takes a step towards the both of you.  “I think it’s closing time for you.” You reply. Ellari pouts exaggeratedly and pulls you into a hug.  “Well you better call meee! I need a party buddy!”  “Of course, of course-,” You yelp suddenly when they pull back and with a wicked grin move faster than any drunk has any right to move.  “See ya next time babe!” They shout diving into the cab as quickly as their stilettoes would allow. 

“You sneaky mother-,” Marvus snarls suddenly lunging for the cab as it speeds off. He spends a moment swearing at the rapidly speeding cab as it escapes and you place a hand on your rear still stinging with the slap. As the situation finally catches up with you a laugh begins to bubble up. Marvus whirls around to look at you completely bewildered as you start to cackle until tears streak down from the corners of your eyes. 

“Wats so damn funny babes?” He asks warily eyes narrowing slightly. You shake your head still laughing too hard to speak as he approaches you. Its not until he bends down to be level with you that the laughter begins to die off. There’s a look in his eyes that’s familiar and sends your stomach in nervous knots. A plotting look of suspicion that turns his eyes dark. 

“Were you tryna make a clown jealous baby?” 

Oh shit. 

A shark like grin spreads across his face and before you can explain he has you up in his arms. 

Officially screwed is putting it lightly. 

consider

Built Like An Ice Cream Cone

It was actually sweltering outside, genuinely so hot you felt like you were back on Alternia during the dawn and your ass was about to be fried extra crispy. Your poor ac unit was giving its all but even that wasn’t enough to cool you down. It was barely enough to push around the stagnant air in your living room. You’d traded in your normal attire for shorts and a thin tank top that was near see through from your sweat. As far as you were concerned you were practically dying. Which was saying something as your time on Alternia had made it nigh impossible to truly feel like you were about to melt into a human skin puddle. Marvus, the bastard, seemed completely fine walking around in his day off clothes like it was a gentle summer night and not the scorching hell of being far too close to the sun. It made begrudging sense considering he naturally ran somewhere around freezing cold. An absolute nightmare in the winter when he tried to snuggle close because humans ran so hot. You were not his living hot water bottle and you’d be damned before he made you freeze to death. Even so you still always made sure to keep an electric blanket or three on hand during the winter months. 

Now though, well, it was time for revenge. You were dying of heat stroke and were now going to use Marvus’ natural coldness to your advantage. If you got to inadvertently snuggle with your matesprit, well- that was just a bonus. 

“Hey babe,” You called out teasingly the plan already forming, “So I was thinking...”

“Yeah? Whatcha thinkin bout?” He was already shuffling closer a bottle of faygo in hand. Absolutely clueless about what you were planning. Perfect. 

“You’re built exactly like an ice cream cone.”

“Wh-,”

“Like, babe, your body is a t-pose.”

“Oh-,”

“Your pecs are bigger than the pillows on the couch.” As predicted he tossed the faygo aside in order to grab you and toss you over a shoulder. His skin was exactly as cool as you had predicted. Sweet relief flooded through you as he soaked up some of the heat still clinging to your everything. His usual day off clothes consisted mostly of a pair of baggy sweatpants and sometimes a black tank top that was stretched so tightly over him it left little to the imagination. Most times he walked around your house without a shirt because none of the people who liked to photograph him knew where you lived. Today, however, was one of the rare times he wore his sweats with an honest to god t-shirt. Still in that iconic black that trolls seemed to love so much, it highlighted the fact he was indeed built like the entire letter ‘T’. 

“Babe, you’re a Dorito.” You laughed and he tossed you unceremoniously onto the couch. 

“Why you gotta roast me like dis babe? E’ery chance you be gettin’ you shoot harder than tha profs.”

“I’m not taking shit from someone whose body type is ‘upside down pear’.” You shot back with a grin. Marvus’ shoulders shook with suppressed laughter as he crawled onto the couch after you- careful not to accidentally squish you underneath him. Taking a moment to be a little soft with him you let your hands glide firmly over his chest and across his shoulders until you were gently cupping his biceps. Truthfully you enjoyed how Marvus looked, a little added bonus to the reasons you liked him so damn much. Plus you were going to use those bara tiddies of his as a cool pillow the minute you were able to get him under you. It was a game the two of you played. 

“Fuckin’ reverse triangle lookin’ motherfucker.” You teased already shifting enough for him to slide down next to you. It wasn’t an easy feat, this couch barely held two humans laying down much less an entire extra heaping of clown. He was laughing now, small genuine chuckles that were more puffs of air than actual sound. Moving until you were laying sprawled across his chest and stomach. Resting your chin in his cleavage you smiled down at him. 

“Ya horrible babe.”

“Good luck returning me without a receipt.” You snorted causing his entire body to shake with a laugh. 

“Shit we been knew. I ain’t sendin’ yo mean lil ass to tha los’ n foun’.” He grinned- sharp teeth easily on display. Once upon a time you might have been a little unsettled by those fangs so close to your face but now all you felt was a sort of contentment. Making him smile something other than his usual ‘show biz’ grin always filled you with a sense of pride. “Besides,” His grin turned to a more sly smile, “We all knows that yo ass be gettin’ real fuckin’ friendly with these.” His hand came up to push you further into his cleavage and your snort turned full blown cackling was muffled as you smacked at whatever you could reach. God, what a nerd. You loved him to pieces. 

Another request! Reader loses a bet and has to be Marvus' PA(personal assistant) for a day while he's doing work stuff. Or maybe a bet with his main manager to see how long they could last/ keep him in check during a packed day. Take this where ya want. ~♦️ Anon

Its up now! So sorry about the long wait and thank you for your patience! Hopefully its what you wanted but if not feel free to slide into my inbox again.

YES. GOOOODDDDD. XD The Dorito Clown roast was great! Next request! Some stupid troll red flirting with reader while Marv is like, right there. Maybe reader plays coy to piss Marvus off. Xoxo, ♦️Anon

You have no idea the joy this request just gave me. Finally an excuse to do some casual worldbuilding. Or would it be behavior building? Either way, any excuse to slip in some troll romance headcanons is fine by me! I’ll have it up soon and I hope you’ll enjoy it! Thank you again for the wonderful requests Diamond Anon!

Mors Speaks

One of these days I'm just gonna go feral and write self indulgent X Reader fics of my favs but Marvus simps are still here and must be fed. They are appreciated deeply but this is not a Marvus only blog and I am one free moment away from screaming into the abyss about my favs. Which probably won't get as many likes or reblogs but they're self indulgent for a reason lol. But worry not because I am always taking requests and asks for writing especially because the ideas thrown my way are serotonin in these crazy ass times.