Price Should Be Grateful For The Raccoon Battalion

Price should be grateful for the raccoon battalion

《Incorrect Quotes mw2》

Y/n: we can't tell you because your not part of the club

Alejandro: What club?

Y/n: The hating Graves club.

Alejandro: …The fuck? I should be the leader of that club!

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Soap: Are you a painting?

Y/n: What-?

Soap: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Gaz: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG THEM OR SOMETHING-

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Y/n: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!

Y/n : I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-

Simon : I did?

Y/n: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Simon .

*walking away*

Simon :

Simon : Their gone Soap.

Soap, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!

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Simon , working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

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Y/n: You know, , when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Gaz: ...

Gaz: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

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König : May luck (and this picture of Y/n eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

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(Gaz trying to flirt 💀)

Gaz: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Y/n: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

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Gaz: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Y/n: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Gaz: Holy moly-

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Price: So, y/n is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Soap: Why?

Price: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Y/n, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

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Alright that is all folks thought this would be funny to share if you guys have any requests l will be happy to see them but before you do go to my page and check out the post where it talks about what l can and can't write and other things l will do in the future love you all and have a wonderful day/morning/night :) <3

New headcanons: Soap and Gaz are nosey as hell LMAO

‘𝐼 𝐿𝐼𝒦𝐸 𝒴𝒪𝒰𝑅 𝒢𝐼𝑅𝐿𝐹𝑅𝐼𝐸𝒩𝒟 𝒮𝐼𝑅’ / Simon Riley x Female! Reader

Summary: After weeks of guessing what Ghost’s girlfriend would do for work they finally find out when they meet you, much to Ghost’s dismay.

Ghost had, had it.

He was dumb enough to answer a call from you in front of Soap and Gaz, not thinking anything of it but he was wrong.

The little shits had been non stop attempting to guess what his girlfriend looked like and what she would do for a work for nearly the whole week now.

Tuesday:

‘A goth maybe!’ Soap shouted out of nowhere

‘Oh you’re right there mate! Goth girls are fit!’

‘Can you pricks stop playing guess who and keep your fucking mouths shut.’

Wednesday:

‘Sir is your girlfriend a therapist?’ Gaz inquired.

‘Oh yeah! Maybe that’s how they met.’

‘Soap keep your fucking mouth shut.’

Thursday:

‘Oh! I know! She’s a teacher!’

‘You’ve cracked it!’ Ghost replied with fake enthusiasm.

‘Really?

‘No. Keep your eyes on the fucking road.’

It was now Friday, the squad had bagged a weekend off and were eager to get their work done so they could fully relax. And of course, Simon stupidly left his files at home.

So when he’d asked you to bring them to him he made sure to tell you to come through the back entrance (to avoid Soap and Gaz) but of course they were the first two you saw when you entered the building.

‘Why hello there miss! What can I do for you?’

You awkwardly smiled, ‘Um I’ve just brought these in for my boyfriend he forgot them at home.’

Soap took a look at the files and his heart dropped. There were some fucked up things in those files why would your boyfriend just let you have them?

‘Whose the lucky guy? And why would he let you see those?’

You laughed, ‘Simon Riley. And trust me I’ve seen worse.’

‘Oh my fucking god! Gaz!’

The man named Gaz turned around from where he was standing. ‘What.’

The man with the Mohawk repeatedly pointed at you with a big smile on his face. ‘Ghosts girlfriend!’

Gaz immediately ran over to you and started asking you a million questions.

‘You guys are very sweet -in a way but can you just tell me where Simon is and I’ll answer your questions.’

Soap grabbed your hand and dragged you to Ghosts office as quick as he could because he wanted to get answers immediately.

When Ghost looked up he groaned.

Was he happy to see you? Without a doubt

Was he happy to see you with his very inquisitive co workers? No comment.

‘Simon, I have your files.’ you said handing them to him

‘Thanks love.’ He replied pulling out a chair for you to join him at his desk.

You both awkwardly turned to Gaz and Soap as they were just stood there staring at the two of you smirking.

‘You two. Out.’

‘Yes sir.’ Gaz said immediately going to walk out but Soap held the door handle.

‘Sir I will never bother you ever again-‘

‘I find that hard to believe.’ He interrupted and you laughed.

‘Just please let me ask her one question.’

He rolled his eyes

‘That’s fine with me but ask Y/n first.’

Soap looked to you and you nodded. ‘Ask away mate.’

‘What do you do for work?’

Ghost scoffed and you looked at him confused but still answered.

‘I’m a forensic pathologist.’

They gave you a blank expression.

‘I do autopsies, collect evidence from crime scenes to do tests on.’

They finally picked up on it.

‘Oh my god! That’s so cool.’

Gaz was all ears, ‘What’s the most fucked up thing you’ve seen.’

‘One question lad.’ Ghost said gesturing to the door.

You laughed. ‘This won’t be the last you’ll see of me boys, Laswell actually requested my help for this mission so don’t worry you can ask me more questions.’

When Gaz and Soap finally left you turned to your boyfriend.

‘They’re sweet.’

‘Are they?’

‘Oh don’t lie you love them really.’

At the end of the day, Ghost walked you to the exit and waved you goodbye.

‘See you when you get home! Love you.’ You said

‘Love you too.’ He replied and as soon as he turned around his two friends stood eagerly behind him.

The pair were laughing and smiling untill they noticed the look their mate was giving them.Gaz was now shitting himself and didn’t want to dig his grave any further but Soap tried to sweet talk him.

‘I like your girlfriend sir. You did well she’s… wow.’

‘Shut up Soap fucking hell.’

(Mick and Stacy Thomson. Mick reminds me of ghost in a way.)

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

"Home" Masterlist

This Masterlist is for the "Home" Series. Hopefully, this makes it a bit easier to read.

Synopsis: You are the younger sister of Kyojuro Rengoku.  After the death of your mother, Ruka, your father falls into a delusion that you are his deceased wife.  And he will try anything to get you to believe that as well.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

istg I'd kill for her

A Saving Grace

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader One-Shot

Word Count: 2K Warnings: Explicit Language, Violence

**********************************************************************

Ever since she had arrived, there had been no complaints from her, even spending so much time around a group of men. Any time someone had asked something of her, it was a quick “Yes sir, I’ll get it done.” With no issue in her tone, and she did, in fact, get it all done with a degree one could only call perfection.

No one seemed to understand her though. She walked with an air of grace, a sun-bright smile lighting up her face, enthusiasm in her voice when she spoke. She kept everyone on the edge of their seats when she talked to them, attention rapt as if they looked away, they’d miss the world. And she was kind. Oh, so kind, and they knew when she played with the young children in the village, helped the elder women carry their laundry and baskets of food. The smile never left her face, the joy never left her voice, the grace never left her soul.

An Angel, they decided she was. The group’s mascot, a beautiful Angel with deadly precision and skill.

Quite a contrast from her call-sign she’d come in with.

Whore.

Their mouths had dropped, eyes wide, disbelief written across their faces, what type of person, let alone a beautiful woman such as herself, would allow anyone to call her Whore. She hadn’t told them. Just that it was what she chose.

Despite going through the SEAL program, she had no real-world combat experience, only the training she’d received at SEAL boot-camp. Simon was inclined to not bring her along, but she insisted.

I won’t get in the way. I’ll provide backup and follow your lead, Lieutenant.

The compound erupted into chaos whenever the alarm sounded, and Simon had cursed their luck as bullets whizzed by. He shouted orders through the comms, go left, go right, stay center, open fire, suppressing fire.

She’d gone left, into a double open ended steel container that had been converted into a lookout. The shock from the carbine caused an ache in her shoulder but she paid it no mind, taking out enemies where she could see them, one even getting too close into Ghost’s blindside. He dropped five feet from the Lieutenant and the man’s head cocked up towards her, and even at this distance, she could see his eyes widen in what she registered as shock. He’d only ever called her by her rank, Ensign. Never regarded her with the term she gave herself. Call him a gentleman, but he knew better than to say something like that, even if it was her call-sign.

Whore! Left!

She turned too late; the carbine knocked from her grip by the man who had at least two heads on her. Her hands went to her sidearm but his were already winding around her throat, lifting her against the metal of the container, a choking gasp escaping what little room was left before all air cut off. The man’s eyes were wild, nothing there, but she saw herself in their reflection, a cornered and caged animal who’s only chance was fight. Rage welled inside her, not fear, only the red-hot, iron rage bubbled through the adrenaline, and she let her arms go slack, no longer digging her fingers into his hands, she gripped the K-Bar in its sheath, yanked it and sunk it into his neck. Those eyes went wide, the craziness of them disappearing in favor of shock before they hazed, and they both dropped.

Her lungs burned, eyes watering as she sucked in air, careful to avoid too much in the situation she needed to not be lightheaded. A noise came from the side, and she pulled her Eagle from its holster, pointing it towards the boot scuff and her eyes met Ghost’s.

Can you move?

Yes sir.

Scrambling, she grabbed her rifle, and nodded.

Ready.

***

She sat on the bench, scratching at the sheet of paper, filling out the report that some of the squad had left behind, a promise to do it another time. A gentle clinking sounded next to her, and she looked over, watching as Ghost sat beside her, a glass in front of him, a bottle of Kentucky between them.

“Pour us a round, yeah?” he murmured, and she obliged, pouring each of them a decent amount; he watched as she picked her glass up first, taking a big sip but not swallowing for a few moments. His eyes met the darkened bruises on her neck. “Feel alright after today’s injuries?”

She swallowed and set the glass down. “Fine. Sergeant Mac—Uh, Soap, gave me some pain cream for them.” A small smile crossed her lips. “I had some in my pack, but I think he was trying to be kind and extend a branch, so who am I to turn it away.”

“Yeah, Soap’s good like that. Hard head, good heart.”

Her smile only grew wider, but it fell as she glanced up as he folded the balaclava above the bridge of his nose and took a sip of his bourbon. Ghost had a scar that started from the edge of his ear down to his lip, almost like someone had scratched him and torn his upper lip in two. The healing was mangled, something she recognized as self-stitching scars.

“Believe it or not, I got this from a cougar.”

She blinked, shock etching her features that turned into confusion then to thought and she quipped, “That’s why they say not to tease older women.”

For the first time since she’d met the Lieutenant, he snorted, a smile etching his features as he muttered, “Good one.”

“Where did it happen?”

“Took a trip to Brazil one day. My luck I ran into one in the wild.”

“Uh huh. Kinda surprised you survived that one.”

“I’m a hard man to kill.”

They fell into an easy silence, both sipping their liquors and she glanced down at the report she had been writing. “Everyone wants to know why, y’know.” She felt his eyes on her. “Why my call-sign is ‘Whore.’ No one knows me here, though I didn’t really expect a bunch of hardened soldiers to know the most prominent models of the times.”

Ghost watched her take her phone out, tap the screen a few times before she laid it down in front of him, allowing him to look over; what he saw surprised him.

Two Time Grand Winner of Miss Universe and Miss Earth Ditches Crown for a Uniform and Rifle As She Enlists In USN!

He took the device, scrolling down the article.

Winner and Model (Y/N) (L/N) (28) tossed her crown and dress aside for a uniform and rank earlier this year as she seemingly dropped from the existence in the runways and stages in May of last year. Little comment has been given from her family, though her tough and endearing, multi-billionaire father (F/N) (L/N) has stated this was not a plan she thought well through. When asked for a comment, a representative from the United States Navy declined, saying that Miss (Y/N) was a part of a greater force and her whereabouts would not be disclosed for her and team’s safety. So far, no one has managed to find where she is but perhaps one day, she’ll return to the spotlight and reclaim her crowns.

Ghost handed her back the phone, and now everything about her, her speech, her mannerisms, the way she carried herself, all made sense. They’d been interacting with a woman who’d grown up in the spotlight ever since she could walk.

No emotion came from her face as she spoke.

“When I was at SEAL training, one of the instructors kind of…took me under his wing. He eventually told me that his wife was a fan of the pageants and knew who I was when he’d mentioned me. Though she knew I couldn’t be coddled, she did ask for him to watch out for me.” She simply gazed at the table. “The others didn’t appreciate the small kindness his gave me at times, simple words of encouragement or a pat on the back. They nicknamed me the ‘The Captain’s Whore.’ I heard it from them, under their breaths as I walked by. But I paid it no mind. I’ve been called far worse from people I loved.”

She stood from the bench and poured herself a hefty amount of the Kentucky into her glass before walking towards one of the windows. “When we graduated, they asked us for call-signs. What did we want to be recognized as?” He saw a smile come across her face, a proud one. “Three guesses on what emotion they all felt when I chose ‘Whore’ as mine.”

Ghost watched her. “Why did you?”

“So they’d have to say it to my face and not behind me back,” she answered, matter-of-factly. “As damning of a word as that can be, I took it from them. I took the power they had in that word, and I made it mine. They’d have to call me something they thought would hurt me, but I saw it in their eyes every time they said it, that I had come out on top. And I did. I was the best in my class. I suspect that’s why Captain Price commissioned me for the 141.”

She turned, a sardonic almost pitied look in her eyes, and Ghost saw the drunken haze starting to crawl into them. “Ironically, I’ve never even had sex with anyone.” Downing the glass in one swig she set it on the windowsill and turned to stare out at the night, watching the few soldiers still outside moving equipment around. “I wasn’t scared today. This was my first real firefight, but I wasn’t scared. Not even when the enemy had me by the throat. I wasn’t afraid. I was angry. Enraged. There was no fear, only intense hatred, and belligerent rage.”

Her breathing calmed. “I should be horrified at myself. I killed people today. I took the lives of men and women who were husbands and wives, who had children and spouses, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles and cousins, and yet, I don’t feel sadness or regret. I did my job, I took out enemies who were trying to kill myself and my squad-mates. I fought to protect people I cared for. But no matter how righteous my actions were or for what saving grace they were, I should be in tears, and yet…I have none left.”

Ghost saw the reflection of her face in the glass, saw the same dead-eyed yet so filled with pain expression he saw when he looked at himself sometimes.

“He beat all of them out of me years ago,” she simply added, and said no more, silently picking up the glass and setting it back next to his. “I’ll take my leave for this evening, if that’s alright with you, Lieutenant.”

“Simon,” he murmured, and she met his gaze. “Call me Simon.” He stood from the table, gathering both glasses and the bottle in one hand and she had to crane her neck a little to meet his gaze. “And from now on, you’re call-sign is going to change. I’m not calling you something you’re not.”

“You can’t just change my call-sign, sir. That’s not how that works.” He paid it no mind but only stopped when heard, “Oh fine, what are you going to change my call-sign to?”

“Seraph. The highest of them all.”

“Wait, like the angels?” he nodded. “…Why?”

Simon glanced back at her and selfishly blamed the liquor loosening his lips as he murmured, “You. You’re a beautiful and fiercely protective woman with a burning devotion. Can’t think of a better fitting name than Seraph.”

Something flickered in her expression, an ache, a deep, deep ache he knew so well, and she simply dropped her gaze to the floor. “Thank you, Simon.”

“Get some rest, Ensign, we’ve a big day tomorrow.”

A Dreadful News

Figured that posting mostly incorrect quotes of our lovely Task Force 141 and Los Vaqueros (+ El Sin a.k.a cartel momm– I mean Valeria Garza) is too easy. So I figured to do something new to challenge myself.

Also, this is my first time(ish) to do a full paragraph story/image/one shot/whateverthisis. So the explanation of the actions or the plot of the story may or may not confuse you.

This is gender neutral by the way. Happy reading.

Oh and by the way, be ready to cringe because English is not my mother tongue.

—

The Task Force 141 fortunately finished a successful mission. They have carefully eliminated the threat that could’ve doom half of the living things on Earth. To celebrate their hard work, all Task Force 141 members, including Laswell, decided to throw a picnic lunch party somewhere in a park. (Y/n) recommended a park, a particularly park where they always go for their daily run before going on a mission.

When (Y/n) first discovered the park, they were surprised of how It looked so undisturbed. As if no one has been there before. Because of this, (Y/n) found this park suitable for a rowdy, yet lovable, bunch.

Soap thought that he was to arrive first as the park seems to be empty. Heck, he even thought he went to the wrong park. But as it turns out, he was in the right park and that (Y/n) was already there. As he gets closer to the early bird, Soap smiled and raised a hand to greet them but stopped himself as he sees the serious expression that they have on their face.

(Y/n)’s elbows are on their lap, mimicking a pillar. Their hands were locked together and are used to bury their nose. Soap furrowed his brows, wondering what could be bothering them. Being closer as he was before, Soap called out to them.

“Hey (N/n)!” Soap called out. Their head perked up.

What’s with the serious face? Thought that this was supposed to be a joyous day?” Soap said and stopped right next to them. (Y/n) sighed and closed their eyes, finally letting their hands down but still kept their elbows on their lap.

“Johnny boy,” (Y/n) replied, “you might want to sit down for this…”

And so he did.

*10 mins later*

Gaz thought that he was to arrive first as the park seems to be empty. Heck, he even thought he was on the wrong park. As it turns out, he was in the right park and that (Y/n) and Soap were already there. As he gets closer to the early birds, Soap smiled and raised a hand to greet them but stopped himself as he sees the serious expression that they have on their face.

(Y/n)’s elbows were on their lap, mimicking a pillar. Their hands were locked together and are used to bury their nose. Soap’s posture copied them. Gaz furrowed his brows, wondering what could be bothering them. Being closer as he was before, Gaz called out to them.

“(Y/n)! Soap!“ Gaz called out. The two’s head perked up.

“What’s wrong? Thought that this was supposed to be a joyous day?” Gaz said and stopped right next to them. Soap sighed and closed his eyes, finally letting his hands down but still kept his elbows on his lap.

“Well Gaz, you might want to sit down for this.” Soap said.

And so he did.

*5 mins later*

“Where are they?” Price, Ghost, and Laswell walked through the park. The food felt heavy on their hands. (Y/n) had gone ahead with the paper plates, plastic spoons, forks, and cups.

“Are we even on the right park?” Price questioned as he looked around the empty park.

“Well, this is the address (Y/n) sent,” Laswell said putting her phone on her pocket “We should look further.”

Price and Ghost nodded and continued to go further the park. Finally, they see the three troublemakers. Surprisingly, they weren’t goofing around as they always been when they were put together. Instead, the three were sitting on a bench with a serious expression. Their elbows were on their lap, mimicking a pillar. Their hands were locked together and are used to bury their nose.

This worried Price. He didn’t want to admit it, but he prefer to see them goof around than being serious. Even after a successful mission.

“(Y/n)! Soap! Gaz!” Price called out. The three’s head perked up.

“Why are you three looks so serious?” The captain questioned as he stopped right next to the three. Ghost and Laswell behind him.

Gaz sighed and closed his eyes, finally letting his hands down but still kept his elbows on his lap. His head dipped between his shoulders, avoiding eye contact.

“Well, captain, you might want to sit down for this.” Gaz said, his head still dipped between his shoulders.

Price looked behind him. Making an eye contact with Ghost and Laswell. Laswell shrugged while Ghost stood there, they were worried as well but didn’t want to show it. Price nodded and sat down on the empty space next to Gaz, putting the warm goodies on his lap.

As he sat down, he could’ve swore that the two beside Gaz snorted but was covered by coughing.

“Well,” Price insisted “Get on with it.”

Gaz cleared his throat

“The bench is freshly painted…”

Silence

The captain was flabbergasted. Laswell was amused, but hid her expression by looking away. Ghost pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering a ‘fuckin’ hell’ under his breath. (Y/n), Soap, and Gaz.. Well.. They’re breathing heavily to avoid from laughing, the sound of snorting could be heard from them from the attempt.

End Point

Bonus

“RUN AWAY!” (Y/n) shouted while laughing

Soap and Gaz followed behind them, laughing as well.

“GET YOUR BLOODY ASSES BACK HERE NOW!” Price shouted, chasing after them.

Laswell and Ghost stayed behind to set up the food, enjoying the energy that the three had created. They needed the laugh.

“HAVE MERCY ON US, CAPTAIN!”

—

The fresh painted bench is base on a incorrect quote