Very First Time Playing Amnesia: The Dark Decsent Is Going Not Well But It Is Going At Least.

Very First Time Playing Amnesia: The Dark Decsent is going… not well but it is going at least.

Fam, I’ve beaten two dead space games, little nightmares and its sequel, good fractions of multiple Resident Evil games, Haunted Cities,

This damn title is about 13 years old now and it’s got my nerves up so badly I need to walk away from it every here and there. I don’t understand why, but it kind was exactly the hype it had been all this time. I finally get it.

Asenath deserved better

Just wanted to offer sincere congratulations to the writers of Superjail for somehow creating the fruitiest straight protagonist in all of animation.

TRUUUUUU

total mystery box world! Uncharted territory! The backwoods freaking space boonies!

You know all those ways we talk about inhabitable planets to freak each other out? Like how it’s a noteworthy fact that there are worlds out there surrounded in a cloud of boiling acid fog or ones where it rains molten iron? I’ve been thinking a lot about all the weird information Zim has and could be sharing about the disturbing alien rock he’s getting by on.

• The environmental water is so contaminated by toxic pollutants that it dissolves your skin on contact. It also sometimes just pours right out of the sky in wide showers, maybe even for hours.

• The dominant native species is a race of simian-descent bipeds, and are braindead primitives. Literally still a type 0 civilization and completely fractured into hundreds of incompetent countries where the stupid lead the dumb. They do shit like throwing themselves down a hill after a roll of curdled bovine secretions and call it a sport. They burn plants and inhale the combustion fumes knowing that they are damaging their fragile organs in ways their medicine still cannot hope to reverse. Despite all of this, they’re…. Tall.

• The polar ends of the world are frigid wastelands of ice and fathomless seas, where carnivorous megafauna sit at the top of the local food chain. To the North even live things such as moose, enormous horned beasts that are only hunted by humans and bears, and even these predators are occasionally killed by them.

• Speaking of the ocean, it’s like 70% of the whole planet’s surface and not even the humans have any idea wtf is down there really.

• Some plants have evolved fruiting bodies that, when eaten by mammals, simulate the sensation of burning alive to their taste receptors. Humans specifically breed some varieties of these crops to inflict even more simulated pain and inflammation when eaten… and then they eat them.

• Advanced Irken vehicles have a bizarre and currently unexplained terminal weakness to colliding with bees.

• Any prolonged eye contact with the closest star for more than a few seconds causes severe cornea burns and completely blinds a person.

• Because it is so undeveloped and teeming with off the rails organic diversity, it’s an unhygienic horror show at the micro level. Fungus. Parasites. Bacteria. Invisible and literally everywhere and anywhere: in the dirt, in the water, in the air, and on the animals- the humans alone are practically walking petri dishes loaded with trillions of germs. Their bodies might as well be more micro-biome than human cells and it’s impossible to forget the fact when they carry the stench of their personal teeny-zoos everywhere with them.

• So there’s this thing called rabies… it could make a formidable weapon against humans, but you gotta hear what this crazy shit does, my Tallest

Forgetting someone

Yeah, these threats come off as desperate raving on Zib's part, and largely they are, but also? Given the two guys he's a combination of, I actually don't doubt for a minute that Zib will eventually carve a way out, even if he has to tear a million different realities to ribbons to do it. All involved parties ought to be very, very concerned

Off my chest but I hate that Cthulhu is the flagship lovecraftian figure I hate that all eldritch horror icons get to be compared to Cthulhu in our timeline now that it’s all called the “Cthulhu Mythos” and what for???

I got into HP for the short stories, but I did eventually get around to the bulkier, connected stuff, and honestly? “Call of Cthulhu” is one of the weakest and underwhelming examples of the guy’s work that I’ve gotten through. THIS is the monster that in huge part made Lovecraft a pop culture name? THIS story?

Like sorry not sorry but Cthulhu is a little bitch boy stuck in timeout. Yes yes, I admit he’s pretty cool in a vacuum and I guess the “that is not dead which can eternal lie” quote does go pretty damn hard. But put into context it’s just…. Eh… like, I’m not going to even touch the overflowing can of worms that is the racist overtones since it’s already-taken low hanging fruit at this point. I honestly just found CoC boring and anticlimactic because I made the mistake of chomping through so many of huge other monster stories first. Once you’ve inoculated yourself into the stakes of At the Mountains of Madness or gotten in the know on Innsmouth or Yog-Sothoth, you feel like squidboi doesn’t really throw much punch even for the amount of suspense that he does build up to. He’s the first and only otherworldly deity so far I’ve even read to be defeated and shooed back by mere mortal men- mortal men, ones that didn’t even know wtf they were doing or facing, mind you.

I have less than nothing against people who enjoy the story and Cthulhu, but I just want to know… why? More specifically why this one got so famous and influential for a whole genre of horror. Cthulhu is just not really even scary to me. Ephraim Waite is scary. Shoggoths are fucking terrifying. The lore of Elder Things are everything I never knew I wanted in eldritch horror, and their story was genuinely compelling. The Deep Ones I thought I got their gist and wasn’t so interested in before reading, and they actually pulled me in past expectation. Cthulhu’s like…. A “safe” to “euclid” class scp at worst. The Innsmouth plot is the real setting for the theme of serious danger that is plotting and bubbling just beneath the uncanny surface.

I’m not telling anyone to not read Call of Cthulhu, but if you already have and you didn’t really get the appeal and hype for Lovecraft, Don’t be afraid to try explore down a different branch of the Mythos. You might be surprised. If you did read and enjoy CoC, make sure you check out the other stories because in my opinion it’s pretty uphill from there.