James Barnes ;

🪐 — james barnes​ ;

there’s sense in this, a truth he understands about fighting, about the weight of a gun in his hand. his lungs feel easier now, though he knows the heaviness that will set in later; the road to redemption was always paved in blood.          ❛    that’s always the way this goes, or have you forgotten that part?   ❜

      SHE HASN’T FORGOTTEN, but the rush of adrenaline never really went away, no matter how long she’d been in their line of work.  ❝  just making sure you’re not getting too cocky, ❞  nymeria quips back, her voice soft. her own weapon is ready  &  loaded at her side, comforting in its familiarity. it’s time — their window of opportunity is closing, the target set to be passing by their post only briefly.  ❝ you ready ? ❞

🪐 — lucius spriggs​ ;

the thing is,   izzy is not as scary as he thinks he is.  sure,  lucius wouldn’t want to be at the receiving end of his sword because that would end up horrendously bad for him,  but this?  oh,  he knows he has the higher ground in this.  so the boy shrugs off the trademark abrasive tone coming from the other man,  even avoids spitting back a caustic no shit and sits down on a little stool he has found nearby.  because this isn’t like last time, right?  this isn’t a fight.  not that lucius has any idea what this even is.  a truce,  maybe? possibly.   

❛  of course i don’t.  and listen, that’s between the two of you.  but,  do you really think glaring from afar is going to do you any favours?  how’s that going for you so far?  ❜   he follows his gaze to where stede and blackbeard are busy looking at each other,  oblivious to the world around them  (   lucius thinks it’s cute,  though he wisely keeps it to himself   ),  and well.  his tone softens a bit when he looks back at izzy.   ❛  what are you afraid of?  ❜   he wonders if this is pushing it too far,  if he hasn’t just crossed some precarious boundary with voicing that question out loud,  but he does nothing to take it back. 

       HE KNOWS HE’S LOST IT ALL when lucius sits down beside him, as casual as anything. like he’s about to give izzy a heart-to-heart — like they’re sodding friends or something. whatever sense of authority he’d had  ( or hoped to have )  over the crew, it was clear that it was all well  &  gone now.  &  izzy curses under his breath, his gloved hand clenching in anger. he almost wants to reach for his sword to shut the boy up, but his captains would likely reprimand him grievously for such an outburst. he’s trapped, nowhere to run, nothing he can do except listen.                                                                                         &  though it infuriates him to admit it, lucius has a point. his sulking is unlikely to lend any change to the situation, &  izzy isn’t sure how much longer he can take an existence of slinking about the ship trying to avoid too close contact with the golden glow that seems to surround ed  &  stede whenever they are together. he glares at lucius, his teeth grinding, bristling again at the gentler tone he takes. perhaps izzy couldn’t be feared any longer, but he still refused to allow himself to be pitied. ❝ i’m not afraid, ❞ he growls, seething, tearing his eyes away from his captains with some effort. ❝ i’m just... i’m not like that twat bonnet — &  i’m not like you. i can’t — it’s not — ❞ words fail him, as they so often do,  &  izzy curses himself again for his weakness, for his shame, for his inability to throw either lucius or himself over the railing  &  be done with this ridiculous conversation once  &  for all. ❝ that, whatever it is that they have — ❞  he says, gesturing vaguely astern. but his eyes remain fixed out on the sea, unable to look at edward or lucius as he speaks. ❝ — it isn’t meant for the likes of me. ❞

🪐 — kang sae-byeok​ ;

sae-byeok doesn’t belong there.   she can feel her skin crawling with the wrongness of it all,  more and more with every minute ticking off that stupid expensive clock over her head.  she forces herself to unclench her jaw,  to stop trying to guess how much it could be worth and how much she could do with it  —  she would bring her mother here,  would save up money for her brother’s education,  to start.  but in order for her to do even a fraction of that,  she needs to pretend to be one of the young and wealthy for as long as it take for her plan to work out. 

katiana’s voice grates on her ears,  still she turns on her heel to gather both the bottle and the box of pastries,  seemingly without a word of complaint.  even if she utters a few nasty words in korean under her breath,  it’s too low for anyone to hear and besides,  no one is really paying attention to their surroundings.  a mistake,  obviously.  that is exactly what she is going to use to her advantage to lighten their purses.   ❛  that is your dinner?  ❜   she is back on the patio with brows raised,  voice a little too flat to pass for concerned.  not that she is trying.  not that she cares.  it’s only going to be a bother if the other girl ends up feeling sick.

         PERHAPS IF SHE’D BEEN PAYING ATTENTION,  katiana would have noticed the way her guest eyed the pricey decor,  or heard the irritated whispers at being asked to wait upon her.  but the heiress is in her own little world,  as usual  — one where the only thing that matters is her empty glass  —  &  sae byeok’s displeasure goes unnoticed.  ❝ don’t be silly — i’m going out to eat with some investment banker’s son later tonight, ❞  she muses when sae-byeok returns, sweets in one hand  &  champagne in the other.  &  katiana’s graceful fingertips reach out to pluck a perfect pink pastry out of the box without so much as a thank you.  ❝ i just wanted a snack now. ❞                                                   but when she takes the bottle of champagne from her, at least katiana pours two glasses,  handing one to sae-byeok  &  clinking the crystal rims together delicately before taking the first sip.  ❝ he invited me to this little greek place,  i guess it’s supposed to be good — his uncle or something owns it.  you can come, if you want.  i’m sure he could bring a friend for you to go with. ❞  she continues, swirling the champagne around in her glass as she reaches for another macaron.  ❝ ugh, these are so good, ❞  she says through her mouthful, the pastry airy  &  sweet. ❝ they’re honestly the best you can find outside of paris,  don’t you think ? ❞

🪐 —open prompt  sent by  @artereis​  / podrick               ❛  i  hope  that  you’re  okay . ❜

                    SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ELATED. everything her family had worked for since the day she’d been born was finally within their grasp. after two failed attempts at making a strategically beneficial match for her, at last margaery had secured a betrothal to the eldest son of the royal family. she would be queen; it was her grandmother’s dream realized. but in spite of her family’s undeniable victory, there was a heavy weight that had settled in her stomach, a sense of dread that only grew more  &  more intense as her wedding date approached.  &  when podrick was standing before her, it became almost overwhelming. her breath caught in her throat  &  margaery began to despair  —  how could she marry another when her very heart felt as though it was trying to burst from her chest whenever podrick was nearby ?                                                                              but it was not her choice to make; this was her duty to her family. her head held high in resolve, her lips curl into a well-practiced smile, though in her chest her heart is split open  &  aching. ❝ of course. it’s my honor to be of service to my family  &  to the kingdom. ❞  it wasn’t truly an answer to his question,  &  margaery hopes that it goes unnoticed —  or does she want him to notice the false note in her voice, that somehow he will hear the truth behind her carefully measured words ? even she cannot say for what she hopes.

*   𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑  𝐁𝐘  𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀  𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐎  .      lyric starters from sour, change pronouns as needed.

𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐥 .

❛   i  want  it  to  be ,  like ,  messy .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  insecure .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  caught  up  in  the  news  of  who  likes  me  and  who  hates  you .  ❜ ❛   they’d  all  be  so  disappointed .  ❜ ❛   where’s  my  fucking  teenage  dream ?  ❜ ❛   i  don't  stick  up  for  myself .  ❜ ❛   i'm  anxious  and  nothing  can  help .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  people  liked  me  more .  ❜ ❛   all  i  did  was  try  my  best .  ❜ ❛   this  the  kind  of  thanks  i  get ?  ❜ ❛   i  wish  i  could  disappear .  ❜ ❛   god ,  it’s  brutal  out  here .  ❜ ❛   i  feel  like  no  one  wants  me .  ❜ ❛   i  only  have  two  real  friends .  ❜

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫 .

❛   i  played  dumb  but  i  always  knew .  ❜ ❛   i  kept  quiet  so  i  could  keep  you .  ❜ ❛   ain’t  it  funny  how  you  said  you  were  friends ?  ❜ ❛   you  betrayed  me .  ❜ ❛   i  know  that  you’ll  never  feel  sorry .  ❜ ❛   loved  you  at  your  worst  but  that  didn’t  matter .  ❜ ❛   but  you’re  still  a  traitor .  ❜ ❛   there’s  no  damn  way  that  you  could  fall  in  love  with  somebody  that  quickly .  ❜ ❛   and  you  told  me  i  was  paranoid .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  that  you  had  thought  this  through  before  i  went  and  fell  in  love  with  you .  ❜

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 .

❛   i  got  my  driver's  license  last  week .  ❜ ❛   she’s  everything  i’m  insecure  about .  ❜ ❛   how  could  i  ever  love  someone  else ?  ❜ ❛   i  know  we  weren’t  perfect  but  i’ve  never  felt  this  way  for  no  one .  ❜ ❛   i  just  can’t  imagine  how  you  could  be  so  okay  now  that  i’m  gone .  ❜ ❛   all  my  friends  are  tired  of  hearing  how  much  i  miss  you .  ❜ ❛   i  kinda  feel  sorry  for  them .  ❜ ❛   they’ll  never  know  you  the  way  that  i  do .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you  didn’t  mean  what  you  wrote  in  that  song  about  me .  ❜ ❛   i  still  see  your  face  in  the  white  cars .  ❜ ❛   can’t  drive  past  the  places  we  used  to  go  to .  ❜ ❛   i  still  fuckin’  love  you .  ❜ ❛   i  still  hear  your  voice  in  the  traffic .  ❜ ❛   you  said  forever .  ❜ ❛   now  i  drive  alone  past  your  street .  ❜

𝟏 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝟑 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 .

❛   i  called  you  on  the  phone  today .  ❜ ❛   all  i  did  was  speak  normally .  ❜ ❛   somehow  i  still  struck  a  nerve .  ❜ ❛   you  got  me  fucked  up  in  the  head .  ❜ ❛   never  doubted  myself  so  much .  ❜ ❛   like  am  i  pretty ?  ❜ ❛   i  hate  that  i  give  you  power  over  that  kinda  stuff .  ❜ ❛   it’s  always  one  step  forward  and  three  steps  back .  ❜ ❛   i’m  the  love  of  your  life  until  i  make  you  mad .  ❜ ❛   do  you  love  me ,  want  me ,  hate  me ?  ❜ ❛   no,  i  don’t  understand .  ❜ ❛   maybe  in  some  masochistic  way  i  kind  of  find  it  all  exciting .  ❜ ❛   which  lover  will  i  get  today ?  ❜ ❛   will  you  walk  me  to  the  door  or  send  me  home  crying ?  ❜ ❛   did  i  say  something  wrong ?  ❜ ❛   did  i  do  something  wrong ?  ❜ ❛   maybe  this  is  all  your  fault  instead .  ❜ ❛   i’d  leave  you,  but  the  rollercoaster’s  all  i’ve  ever  had .  ❜

𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮 .

❛   i  bet  she’s  braggin’  to  all  her  friends .  ❜ ❛   so  when  you  gonna  tell  her  that  we  did  that ,  too ?  ❜ ❛   she  thinks  it’s  special,  but  it’s  all  reused .  ❜ ❛   do  you  call  her ,  almost  say  my  name ?  ❜ ❛   that  was  our  place .  ❜ ❛   i  found  it  first .  ❜ ❛   do  you  get  déjà  vu ?  ❜ ❛   let’s  be  honest ,  we  kinda  do  sound  the  same .  ❜ ❛   i  hate  to  think  that  i  was  just  your  type .  ❜ ❛   that  was  the  show  we  talked  about .  ❜ ❛   don’t  act  like  we  didn’t  do  that  shit ,  too .  ❜ ❛   a  different  girl  now,  but  there’s  nothing  new .  ❜

𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝟒 𝐮 .

❛   well ,  good  for  you .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you  moved  on  really  easily .  ❜ ❛   remember  when  you  said  that  you  wanted  to  give  me  the  world ?  ❜ ❛   you  look  happy  and  healthy .  ❜ ❛   not  me ,  if  you  ever  cared  to  ask .  ❜ ❛   you’re  doin’  great  out  there  without  me .  ❜ ❛   god ,  i  wish  that  i  could  do  that .  ❜ ❛   i’ve  lost  my  mind .  ❜ ❛   i’ve  spent  the  night  cryin’  on  the  floor  of  my  bathroom .  ❜ ❛   you’re  so  unaffected .  ❜ ❛   i  really  don’t  get  it .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you’re  gettin’  everything  you  want .  ❜ ❛   it’s  like  we  never  even  happened .  ❜ ❛   what  the  fuck  is  up  with  that ?  ❜ ❛   it’s  like  you  never  even  met  me .  ❜ ❛   remember  when  you  swore  to  god  i  was  the  only  person  who  ever  got  you ?  ❜ ❛   you  will  never  have  to  hurt  the  way  you  know  that  i  do .  ❜ ❛   maybe  i’m  too  emotional .  ❜ ❛   your  apathy’s  like  a  wound  in  salt .  ❜ ❛   maybe  you  never  cared  at  all .  ❜

𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 .

❛   ‘cause  i  thought  you’d  like  me  more .  ❜ ❛   tried  so  hard  to  be  everything  that  you liked .  ❜ ❛   stupid ,  emotional ,  obsessive  little  me .  ❜ ❛   i  knew  from  the  start  this  is  exactly  how  you’d  leave .  ❜ ❛   the  nеxt  second,  you  were  gone .  ❜ ❛   you  left  me  there  crying .  ❜ ❛   you  always  say  i’m  never  satisfied .  ❜ ❛   but  i  don’t  think  that’s  true .  ❜ ❛   all  i  ever  wanted  was  to  be  enough  for  you .  ❜ ❛   maybe  i’m  just  not  as  interesting .  ❜ ❛   you  couldn’t  have  cared  less  about  someone  who  loved  you  more .  ❜ ❛   i’d  say  you  broke  my  heart .  ❜ ❛   but  you  broke  much  more  than  that .  ❜ ❛   now  i  don’t  want  your  sympathy .  ❜ ❛   i  just  want  myself  back .  ❜ ❛   don’t  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  be  used  and  discarded ?  ❜ ❛   don’t  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  think  i  deserve  nothing ?  ❜ ❛   don’t  tell  me  you’re  sorry .  ❜ ❛   feel  sorry  for  yourself .  ❜ ❛   someday  i’ll  be  everything  to  somebody  else .  ❜ ❛   you’ll  be  the  one  who’s  crying .  ❜ ❛   i  don’t  think  anything  could  ever  be  enough  for  you .  ❜

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐫 .

❛   i  thought  my  heart  was  detached .  ❜ ❛   does  she  mean  you  forgot  about  me ?  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy  but  not  like  how  you  were  with  me .  ❜ ❛   i’m  selfish,  i  know  .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy .  ❜ ❛   but  don’t  be  happier .  ❜ ❛   an  eternal  love  bullshit  you  know  you’ll  never  mean .  ❜ ❛   now  i’m  pickin’  her  apart .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  you  all  the  best ,  really .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy,  but  don’t  be  happier .  ❜

𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 .

❛   i  kinda  wanna  throw  my  phone  across  the  room .  ❜ ❛   wish  i  didn’t  care .  ❜ ❛   i  know  their  beauty’s  not  my  lack .  ❜ ❛   It  feels  like  that  weight  is  on  my  back .  ❜ ❛   i  can’t  let  it  go .  ❜ ❛   comparison  is  killing  me  slowly .  ❜ ❛   i  think  i  think  too  much .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  sick  of  myself .  ❜ ❛   i’d  rather  be  anyone  else .  ❜ ❛   my  jealousy  started  following  me .  ❜ ❛   i  see  everyone  getting  all  the  things  i  want .  ❜ ❛   i’m  happy  for  them,  but  then  again,  i’m  not .  ❜ ❛   i  can’t  stand  it .  ❜ ❛   oh  god ,  i  sound  crazy .  ❜ ❛   their  win  is  not  my  loss .  ❜ ❛   i  can’t  help  getting  caught  up  in  it  all .  ❜ ❛   all  your  friends  are  so  cool .  ❜ ❛   yeah,  you’re  living  the  life .  ❜ ❛   i  wanna  be  you  so  bad .  ❜ ❛   i  don’t  even  know  you .  ❜ ❛   all  i  see  is  what  i  should  be .  ❜

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 .

❛   know  that  i  loved  you  so  bad .  ❜ ❛   i  let  you  treat  me  like  that .  ❜ ❛   i  was  your  willing  accomplice .  ❜ ❛   i  watched  as  you  fled  the  scene .  ❜ ❛   the  things  i  did  just  so  i  could  call  you  mine .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  i  was  your  favorite  crime .  ❜ ❛   you  used  me  as  an  alibi .  ❜ ❛   i  crossed  my  heart  as  you  crossed  the  line .  ❜ ❛   i  defended  you  to  all  my  friends .  ❜ ❛   you  know  that  i’d  do  it  all  again .  ❜ ❛   it’s  bittersweet  to  think  about  the  damage  that  we’d  do .  ❜ ❛   i  was  doin’  it  with  you .  ❜ ❛   i  say  that  i  hate  you  with  a  smile  on  my  face .  ❜ ❛   look  what  we  became .  ❜

𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐤 .

❛   somehow  we  fell  out  of  touch .  ❜ ❛   hope  he  took  his  bad  deal  and  made  a  royal  flush .  ❜ ❛   don’t  know  if  i’ll  see  you  again  someday .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  that  you’re  okay .  ❜ ❛   we  don’t  talk  much .  ❜ ❛   i  just  gotta  say  i  miss  you .  ❜ ❛   address  the  letters  to  the  holes  in  my  butterfly  wings .  ❜ ❛   nothing’s  forever .  ❜ ❛   nothing’s  as  good  as  it  seems .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you  know  how  proud  i  am  you  were  created .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  that  you’re  happier  today .  ❜

🪐 —open prompt  sent by  @immobiliter​  /  robin                        ❛ wish i didn’t care .❜

      TOWNS LIKE HAWKINS COULD FEEL LIKE A CAGE  for those who didn’t easily  fit into the established mold. birdie knew far too well the uncomfortable sensation of not belonging in a close-knit community like this one.  &  folks around small towns could be mean to anyone who was the slightest bit different  — especially high school kids. it was one of the reasons that she kept the art room door open during her lunch period: any of her students were welcome to come in  &  eat with her if they couldn’t brave the cafeteria for any reason, or if they just didn’t have anyone else to sit with.                                           robin had been taking her up the offer more often lately. birdie didn’t mind; she was grateful for the company, in fact. even if robin didn’t want to talk about it, it was just nice not to eat alone. but she also can’t help but worry about her student.  &  birdie doesn’t really know what to say  — doesn’t want to push her to talk about it — but she wants to help, however she can. ❝ it’s not always a bad thing to care, ❞  she says, her eyes downcast as she slices an apple into neat eighths.  ❝ but you’ve also gotta remember for your own sake that not everyone’s opinion is worth listening to. ❞