Jungkook
Jungkook
𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞 [Part 1/Intro]

In which Jungkook has never fallen in love before- not until you came along, at least.
Tags/Warnings: Hybrid AU, Munchkin Cat!Reader, Siberian Tiger!Jungkook, DDLG aspects but they're very mild in this chapter, Daddy!Jungkook, height difference, strangers to lovers, mild Angst, Fluff!, quiet!Reader, Model!Kook, mentions of death & grieving (but only brief), romance, manhandling, strength kink (implied), biting, hybrid behavior (scenting, marking, grooming and other)
Legth: Long ~7K words
Additional Content: None (yet)
A/N: Dinner is served, but split into multiple courses cause tumblr app can't handle this buffet.
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"And this is where most level 4 hybrids usually reside, plus a few of the more social level 5's." The CEO explains, walking into the large hall together with Jungkook and his management.
He's a little upset at some of the things he's seen until now - so many of his own kind kept in a place like this simply because they're alienated by society. "Older hybrids above the age of twenty-one statistically stay permanently in housing, so once they reach that age, they don't have to wear any identification within the facility here." The man explains further, motioning towards some hybrids who sit at a table without any collars on, some eating, others talking.
"Would it be possible to involve some of them into the campaign?" Jungkook's manager asks, while he himself takes a look around, hands in his pockets. It's not often that his hybrid senses notice anything at all- having become more or less 'dull' from lack of use, really, since he's mostly surrounded by humans in his daily life. He's not around hybrids often, so today, it's quite overwhelming.
In an exciting way though, weirdly enough.
Jungkook and his management had been thinking and planning such a campaign to raise awareness and money for hybrid care for a while now. As a hybrid himself, he's pretty vocal about his opinions on certain topics- though, of course, he can't always say what he wants to in order to stay 'brand safe' down the line.
"I wouldn't recommend it, honestly. You know, most of these-" The man motions towards the table where Jungkook can spot a very short-looking cat hybrid, sitting by herself alone with her head on the table, legs swinging around as they fail to reach the floor from the height of the bench. "-Are, like I said, either 4 or 5 on the scale, so they probably won't understand what you want them to do." He chuckles.
"What about her?" Jungkook asks, nodding towards where you sit at the table, wearing a simple cotton dress, socks and no shoes, fluffy hybrid tail hanging almost entirely unmoving down to the floor.
It's unnerving to him. As if you're lifeless.
"Very good eye. I've seen her earlier- I think she could make for a very good contrast compared to you." The manager agrees- though the CEO clearly seems not on board with idea.
"I mean, she's got a pretty face, but that's really about it." He, in Jungkook's opinion, rudely comments, making him harden his gaze at the man. "Listen, when you run a place like this, you've got to stay realistic. She's got a lot of health and social issues and doesn't really respond well at all in general, so I'd suggest we look more into the other hybrids." He offers-
But Jungkook is an untamed tiger that rarely ever listens, so it's not surprising that he just decides to walk over to you to find out for himself what this is all about. Mainly because somehow, something feels off about this whole situation- and also, because there's an odd pull he feels towards you, like he's met you before but can't remember.
When he sits down next to you, with some distance of course, you sit up- looking at him for a moment, as if you're going through the same thought-process he had just moments prior. "Hey." He greets, waving his hand a little, unsure for a moment-
Until you smile, waving back, tail starting to move now. So much for 'she doesn't respond', he thinks to himself.
"You seem pretty bored." He asks you, getting into a more relaxed position next to you, his own tail curling over his lap- something you notice with interest, it seems like. "Is there nothing to do here today?" He asks, resting his head on his hand as his elbow is perched up on the table.
You shake your head. "Never." You answer him, and he pouts in sympathy. "I want to- hm.." You seem to think hard about how to voice out your thoughts. You stutter a lot, no matter how much you concentrate- and since the careworkers here get frustrated with your speech easily, you've taught yourself to talk more shortened to avoid stuttering. "Back home. I.. go to- no.." You seem frustrated now, and Jungkook chuckles- something you might mistake for something it's not, he realizes. "Sorry. I don't talk well." You offer, but he shakes his head.
"No no, you're completely fine, take your time." He nods, and you nod as well.
"Back home." You start again, and he nods, making sure you know he's following. "I took, speaking class..es. Classes." You explain, and Jungkook hums a reply, understanding what you're talking about. "But now.. not anymore. He says- I don't need. Them. Don't need them." You explain, your own hybrid tail now curling around you as well so you can hold onto it, a clear sign of self-soothing. "Because I stay."
"I'm sure someone like you has no issues finding someone to live with." Jungkook offers, and you seem to not take it seriously. "No, really. I know a couple of people who'd love to offer a place for an older hybrid." He shrugs.
"No. I stay." You tell him, almost with a disappointed undertone- a bell suddenly ringing, making you stand up and grab your empty cup from the table. "Uhm, thanks." You say as a form of goodbye, bowing politely to him- before you follow the other hybrids into a different area it seems, leaving him alone at the table until his manager finds him later.
Now he's definitely sure something's not right here.
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The next day when he arrives, still a little sleepy, he doesn't spot you until he almost throws his stuff on top of you by accident. You're asleep in a corner, and a careworker immediately picks up on it. "I'm so sorry- she sometimes sleepwalks!" The lady apologizes, and before Jungkook can even say anything, she's already calling your name, shaking you awake. You don't even seem to realize what's really going on as the worker pulls you away- leaving Jungkook by himself, only trace of you left being a small flower shaped pillow he stares at for a moment. Your scent still clings heavy onto it- though there's a slightly burned bitter hint to it, a hint of something sad.
In a way, he doesn't know if he believes sleepwalking to be the actual reason here. His friend, Namjoon, owns a hybrid as well after all- and Jimin does this too, sometimes, because he doesn't like to sleep alone.
And later, when he's in makeup and the hybrids in the main hall close by are all eating breakfast, he's aware that the facility must be putting more effort into things than usual with him and his entire team present- because he's not stupid. A lot of the hybrids seem confused about certain things, while others flat out appear nervous and uncomfortable by the unfamiliar energy today, bad at hiding their behavior due to their lack of social understanding. Meanwhile you're almost falling asleep at the table, clearly not awake at all yet.
Or maybe you just didn't sleep well?
There's definitely something about you he can't explain. It's like there's a voice inside his head that's not his own that keeps feeding him ideas of what he could do. Maybe he could share his own food during his break with you? He also needs to make sure you get your pillow back at some point. Or he could take it home to have something of you with him-
"You've got an eye on the munchkin?" His makeup artist giggles as she does his hair. "Weird that she's here, isn't it? She doesn't seem like one that's hard to find a suiting home for." She mumbles, and Jungkook agrees with a hum. "One of the workers here told me the CEO denies all potential adoptions though." She shrugs.
"Why would he do that?" Jungkook asks, a little wary of the answer he might receive. After all, he's heard many horror stories of what goes on behind closed doors in some hybrid shelters.
"I mean, it's a rumor but-" She sighs. "-So her old owner was a retired hybrid specialist, right? He died of old age about two or three years ago, according to an employee I spoke with earlier." She explains, switching to a different comb to fix his hair into place. "But that's where it gets weird. Her old owner, right? Well he like, created a trust fund for her in case something was to happen to him, so she would be taken care of financially." She explains further what she's heard. "But, when she was given into the care of this center, apparently, the CEO took advantage of her grieving, and is now using the money for himself."
"Explains why he would want to keep her here." Jungkook mumbles more or less to himself. "Because as long as she's here.."
"He can justify using the money to cover her expenses." She finishes for him.
"That's fucked up." Jungkook says. "Is there any proof of it?" He wonders, and she shrugs.
"Well the worker said she herself is pretty vocal about it. She knows what's going on- but no one believes her, because the CEO has her under file as a category 5 even though she's not." She tells him. "I mean, it's smart. Legally speaking, nothing she says would ever be taken into consideration because of that. I remember, my aunt has a 5 who witnessed someone getting assaulted near a grocery store when they went to Busan last year. But nothing he was saying could be taken as evidence basically because the legal system is so oddly structured." She sighs.
"It's a mess, isn't it." The model talks to himself mostly, phone in his hand as he spins it around. "I tend to forget how screwed up the system really is." He says.
"Well, a lot of people tend to forget you're part hybrid as well." She giggles, finishing up. It's true- while he's got his tail and his ears, he's become a pro at acting human- ignoring his own instincts in daily life to instead cater to the broader audience of the human world rather than appealing to his own kind. "Maybe this is all a good idea. An opportunity." She offers.
"Opportunity for what?" He wonders, and she shrugs.
"Who knows."
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The more he observes and interacts with you, the less it makes sense to him how you could ever pass as a category 5 hybrid.
Sure, you've got some trouble articulating yourself, but you're also clearly aware of everything going on around you, you're very emotionally intelligent, you understand social concepts perfectly fine, and you're also pretty independent. You don't need much help with things others of your alleged category clearly struggle with.
He'd spotted you helping many of the other hybrids to button up their coats or tie their shoes (though he has to admit, your tying seemed like it was a pretty challenging task to you) or even collect the dishes and balance them perfectly fine to offer some aid to the kitchen staff at lunch. He knows what category 5 have problems with, they typically struggle with tasks like that. He's lived with one growing up, after all; the younger boy next door always coming over during the holidays because his parents were friends with his owners.
But you? No, you don't share much of those characteristics typical.
Maybe there really is some truth to those rumors going around.
"What're they doing?" He asks a janitor, who looks surprised to be acknowledged, before he watches all the hybrids as well as they all get dressed into outdoor-clothes.
"Oh, Every week they get outdoor activities, you know, to keep them healthy!" The elderly man nods. "Keeps the immune system up and running." He laughs, and Jungkook nods, agreeing. "You look like you want to go with them? If you ask Penny over there, she might let you tag along." He offers, and Jungkook decides, on the spot-
yeah, he wants to tag along.
So he finds his manager, tells him his plan- and leaves, before he can argue too much- though the man doesn't even attempt to do so, seemingly happy that Jungkook is growing friendly with you.
"Oh, careful." Jungkook says, holding the door for you as it almost closes behind another hybrid who'd forgotten to hold it himself. You look up at him, nodding, before you walk outside with him right behind you. "The janitor said you go outside every week." He attempts conversation, and you nod, in typical fashion, looking at the other hybrids in front of you holding hands as they walk behind each other in pairs.
All but you.
"You can hold mine, if you want." Jungkook tells you, and he can't help but grin a bit adoringly at the way you almost instantly take the offer, hand grabbing his as you hold onto it with confidence- your steps becoming a bit more bouncy as if boosted by his presence. It makes his own tail sway rhythmically with every step as well, especially when you all stop at a red light and he swears he can hear you purr under your breath, ears moving around to catch every noise it seems. "You're cute." He comments, and you look up at him with a smile.
"Thank you." You tell him, before you both follow the group of hybrids and the workers to a large field, most hybrids already running to get balls and other items to play with. "Do you.. sport?" You ask. "Like?"
"I do. I like sports a lot, actually." He nods, and you nod as well, watching the other hybrids. "You?" He wonders, and you huff a bit in disappointment, though you nod.
"Makes me.." Your hand goes to your upper chest, before pointing at it. "Cough." You try and explain and he hums in understanding.
"Asthma?" He asks, wondering if you know what he's talking about- and much to his surprise, you nod.
"I need, plastic..thing." You explain, hands gesturing as if to map out the inhaler as you're unable to recall the word in the moment. But the way he keeps reassuring you, keeps treating you so normally, makes you confident in communicating with him. "But- he says, no." You shake your head.
"The CEO?" He wonders, and you nod, sitting down on the grass, leading him to do so as well, though he gently points to his lap for you to sit on. "So your dress doesn't get dirty." He explains, and you nod, happily taking your seat on his thighs. The purr he feels against his chest fuels his ego like nothing ever before, his tail wrapping around him and you to lay in your lap. "I heard he's.. doing some shady stuff."
"He takes.. money." You shrug. "But, hm." You just hum, shrugging your shoulders in defeat.
"What if you got an evaluation done?" He wonders, watching the other hybrids play with you. "To gain proof that you're not a category 5? That way you could go against him, no?" He asks, but you shake your head.
"Can't." You answer him. "Only owner."
"Shit.." He mumbles to himself, remembering as well. Only an owner can actually file in to get an evaluation done- and those things are expensive, not funded by the government at all. Without an owner, you're caught in the trap- and while caught in the trap, you can't get an owner. It's like the snake that's biting it's own tail; doomed.
And right now, he's got no clue how to help you.
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"But, let's say, technically speaking.." Jungkook starts to speak between bites of food, looking at Namjoon in front of him. "I'm barely a category 2, right? So, legally, I could own a hybrid." He asks, and Namjoon seems to think about it. Jungkook could in fact be counted as a simple category one if it wasn't for his ears and tail- but that might just be because these days, he's learned to ignore his instincts rather than embrace them.
"I mean, yeah, legally speaking, you can." He offers, nodding. "But like, why would you? You never had any interest in that." He asks confused, even a bit suspicious. Jungkook has been used for his kindness before, so the older friend tends to become wary of odd things asked.
"I think.. no, I found my mate. At the Seoul care center, where we're shooting the whole campaign right now." He offers, opening his can of beer. "And I want to get her out of there. There's some shady shit going on, and I don't want her to be caught in the crossfire before I pop that bubble."
"Jungkook, that doesn't sound like a good idea at all. Pop a bubble?" Namjoon worries instantly, putting his chopsticks down. "That's seoul central care we're talking about. Their legal team is crazy good." He argues, well aware of these things.
"I know." Jungkook nods. "But the evidence is better. Listen -" He shakes his head. "I won't personally be the one to do it. But some of the staff.. they've been talking. And for good reason." The tiger hybrid explains. "Someone is gonna blow that shit up soon, and I need to get her out before that happens. Considering what that guy has been doing already, I'm pretty sure he would, I don't know, send her overseas or some shit to avoid losing access to her money." He tells his friend.
"You know I can't tell you what to do, Jungkook." Namjoon offers, pushing his leftover food towards a sleepy Jimin, who silently starts to eat next to his owner. "But.. if things go south, I'll try and help best I can." he promises, making Jungkook nod in appreciation.
"Thanks."
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It's safe to say that Jungkook is more than just friendly with you now.
He knows it pisses off the man that tries to present himself as a saint with realistic opinions on the modern way hybrids are handled- and in a way, it satisfies Jungkook deep in his soul.
You're also a lot more vibrant it seems like, visibly perking up the minute he arrives at the center every morning to shoot his photos and small videos. It's adorable to see, really; especially today, when he offers you a new pair of boots, way better suited for you than the old worn down one's you kept wearing every time you went outside. They're of soft materials, pale pastel colors, fluffy accents on the sides, and your eyes widen in wonder at the sight of them. "I hope they fit. I bought those because they have laces- so you can adjust them if the size isn't perfect." He explains to you, and you nod slowly, holding onto them like they're some form of golden treasure.
You also continue to watch him during his shoot, clearly just as interested in him as he is in you at this point.
Staff has noticed, workers have noticed, his manager has noticed, and granted, everyone's pretty happy about it. You're seemingly a very nice fit, a good balance to the otherwise rather wild and untamed tiger hybrid known to sometimes act out of line. He's clumsy with his words at times, his actions often leading to consequences he's not thought of, though he never does anything will ill intend.
Right now, he's got you back on his lap, sharing a round cream filled donut with you, your tail going wild behind you as you enjoy the sugary treat. "Say, I've got a question.." He wonders, your ears turning on your head towards him, a clear sign that you're paying attention to him. "Would you like to.. you know, maybe live together with me?" He asks, and at that, you freeze, before you turn around towards him. "I mean it. I know, you think that might not be possible- but I want to try, at least, to make it possible." He explains.
"Busy." You tell him, before you watch his manager talk to some caretakers a little further away. "It's.. hm. Don't have to." You shrug, trying to grab the last bite he's holding in his hand, just for him to hold it out of reach.
"That's not an answer though." He teases. "You can also just.. I don't know- live with me as like, a foster situation maybe? Just to see if it would work." He offers, while you whine, reaching out for his food he'd been sharing with you until now, one of his arms holding you back securely while the other holds the last piece too far away. "Answer first, kitty." He hums close to your ear, making you freeze for a second as your tail swipes from side to side in excitement. He's so close now, and if he wanted to, a kiss would just be a tiny move now.
But he behaves himself. All in due time.
"Ok." You nod, because why not? He's nice, he's your mate after all, and you like him.
What could go wrong?
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He's still irritated. You don't deserve any of this.
He hopes he might be able to get the paperwork signed- and you out of this place as soon as he can. There's technically nothing speaking against it after all; he's a level 2 at the end of the day, his hybrid side a lot less dominant than in someone like you. And while it's made him feel like an outcast for a long time, feeling like he doesn't belong neither here nor there- looking at you now, his feelings have changed.
He feels glad, for the first time, that he's the way he is.
"If she's getting too much you can just tell her to go play or something." One of the workers tells him as she'd spotted him with you still somewhat laying on his thigh, his hand comfortably resting on your shoulder while you play with his rings on his other hand. "She tends to get clingy with anybody who pays attention to her." She snickers, but he shakes his head.
"No, it's really fine." He denies her, well aware that she's been eyeing him ever since he'd gotten here the first day, and he can't hold back on his next words. "I actually think she's cute." He smiles down at you, and your cat-ears twitch at that before you look up at him, making him laugh.
"I mean.. I guess? Maybe it's a hybrid thing that you like her." She shrugs, crossing her arms. "But she's gotta move soon, your manager told me they wanna take some more shots." She says with more bite to her tone now- and in a way, it satisfies Jungkook.
He lets you rest on him for a little longer- until he pulls out something from his bag, brown paperbag containing a baked treat you know all too well.
He brings it every time, ever since you've told him you like it, after all.
"Nuh-ah." He chuckles when you instantly sit up and reach for it, turning his body a little towards you on the bench before he holds out the donut, testing the waters. And for his own amusement.
And much to his said amusement, you do exactly what he hoped you would.
Without thinking much it seems like, you lean forward to take a bite out of the sweet treat while he's still holding it- and he can't help but smile at the scene. You're so unaware of your own appeal, completely oblivious to how charming you are, and in a way, it makes him upset. You really are just a soft soul being used and nothing else- and he just feels like he's got to offer his protection.
Because you deserve it- and because he wants to be that protector.
Mostly because the connection you both have to one another is undeniable. Mates are an odd thing; but they're a real thing at the end of the day, and it's clear now that he's found his own in you.
You seem to have a moment of realization after the second bite, ears turning before your head follows as a worker says something Jungkook himself doesn't quite catch- but he knows he doesn't like it. "Hey- I'm over here." He tells you, and you look at him with a more shy expression now, almost embarrassed- letting go of his wrist as you sit back down on the bench, visibly uncomfortable. "Dont listen to them. I'm more interesting, am I not?" He teases to get your attention back, reaching out to wipe a crumb from the corner of your lips, making you smile a bit shyly to yourself.
You're so easy to catch.
"Why.." you start, seemingly thinking about your words. You do that a lot, he noticed- you either don't talk at all, or very quietly, and in a way, he's not sure if that's been something they pushed onto you in the carecenter here, or if you've always been this way. He wants to find out, that's for sure. "Why do you.. like me?" You ask, visibly unsatisfied with how you formulated that sentence. It's another proof of your difference in hybrid level compared to Jungkook.
But no matter, he will learn to understand you, until he no longer needs you to speak at all.
Jungkook simply shrugs at your question. "Maybe a mate thing. Maybe just because I like you." He answers. "I don't need to have a reason for it, though. You're a very sweet person, very likable." He tells you before he breaks off another piece of the donut, holding it out. "Now come on. Be a good girl and finish up, alright?" He teasingly tells you as he eats the other leftover piece himself, just to pull yours away from you when you reach out for it with your hand. "Nop." He chuckles, making you glare at him, tail swiping behind you from side to side, and he can't help but laugh at the scene, head thrown back.
Adorable.
Until he feels your lips brush against the tips of his fingers as you snatch the last piece of your treat from him, his gaze immediately back on you as you watch his reaction with a more challenging expression, and he can't help but be intrigued.
"I feel like it'll be a good idea. Jungkook!" His manager smiles, walking up to you both. "You've got her there already, perfect. We'd like to include her in the next few shots tomorrow, see how she does." He tells him, and Jungkook looks at you who seems visibly uncertain.
"You okay with that?" Jungkook asks, and you look at the camera set up close by with an almost fearful expression. "Dont worry. They'll tell you what to do, and I'll help as well. Or is it something else?" He asks, making you move to sit on the bench more properly, feet almost touching the floor, but not quite. He realizes what might be the problem when a staff member accidentally let's a brush fall to the floor, your ears instantly flattening for a short second from the harsh sound. "Ah- does the camera sound scare you?" And you nod at that, making his manager laugh a bit.
"Oh no, don't be scared! It's totally normal. Maybe Jungkook can show you how it works?" He says, before looking over at the careworker close to him. "My son has a hybrid too- he used to hate the sound of the microwave too until my son explained to him how it functioned." He chuckles. Jungkook remembers that. Namjoon and Jimin are an odd couple, but weirdly, they also fit perfectly.
"I don't think she'll understand that, but you can try." The careworker shrugs disinterested, clearly upset at Jungkooks lack of interest in her.
"Come on, let's have a look then." Jungkook simply tells you with no thought wasted on the woman, as he walks to the big cameras with you, Taehyung already looking your way. "Hey, can you maybe explain to her why the camera makes that noise?" Jungkook asks his friend, who nods at you.
"Its pretty loud, isn't it?" He tells you, and you nod- standing on the tips of your toes to try and see through the lens, but to no use. "You're so short!" Taehyung chuckles, and Jungkook can't help but be amused too.
"Hm, here, you can step on that." He offers, sliding an upside-down thick plastic bucket close to you to stand on; his hands instinctively on your body yo steady you as you step onto the container.
"Alright, so.." Taehyung starts to explain the camera to you, and Jungkook can't help but be thankful that his friend is clearly aware of the fact that you're not a stupid child- the photographer never oversimplifying anything, simply telling you the general mechanics to make sure you understand what's happening, that nothing is breaking or could cause any harm. And then the camera makes its distinctive sound.
Your ears still flatten for a split second, but your body makes no sign of being scared or surprised any longer. It worked.
"I can't turn it off, sadly. It's a mechanical sound, so there's no way around it." Taehyung shrugs towards his friend, and Jungkook simply nods.
"It'll be fine." Jungkook says, helping you down from the bucket as the manager says his goodbyes to the first staff. It reminds Jungkook of something in that moment he almost forgot. "Alright, go get your stuff now. I'll go change and then we can go, alright?" He asks, and you seem confused- until you seem to realize.
You're going home with him today. And tomorrow. And the day after, too.
Jungkook can't help but laugh when you dash off into the hallway to get your things, as he himself goes to change himself. He really hopes you'll like it at his place, hopefully enough to decide to stay- and if you do, all he needs are your papers signed and approved. He hates the way the system works, but he also understands it somewhat.
Even though it's clear that not everything goes exactly as it's meant to be.
But once you're with him, once he's got you safe, there will be no more of this. He'll make sure the world gets to know what's going on behind closed doors, having already discussed the plans with his management after all- and he can't deny his anticipation.
He can't wait to see that man lose all he's never even deserved to have in the first place.
But before he can even think any further about those things happening, you're pulling on the hem of his sweater to gain his attention, already dressed in scarf and coat and those fluffy boots he'd bought you yesterday- a lot better quality than those worn down things they'd given you. You deserve to be spoiled in his opinion, not tossed aside like you've been for God knows how many years- and he'll make sure that'll happen.
"Come on." He smiles at you, taking your bag for you as he walks outside the building to his car, opening the door. "We can sleep early or have some food delivered- what would you like?" He asks, getting into the car after you, the driver closing the door after him as he's finally seated next to you, seat belts clicking into place for the both of you.
You shrug as an answer, and he laughs, watching as you yawn, the tiger teasingly pointing his finger into your mouth- but he doesn't expect you to close it so quickly. While you don't bite down on it (at least not hard enough to ever really hurt), he still can't help but be affected by it. Especially when he pushes down on your lower lip, your tongue jokingly licking the tip of his finger, making him smirk at you.
Behind your innocent facade does slumber a tiny little tiger too, in a way, it seems like.
And he honestly doesn't know if he can handle having you around him like this for much longer, while not doing anything about it at all. He's already almost kissed you yesterday, and by now he knows you feel just as attracted to him as he does to you.
You're mates after all. Similar age. Technically in the same hybrid group. Nothing speaks against it.
And yet he's got to be careful. He doesn't want to end up breaking your heart if things don't go as expected- he'd hate leaving you devastated. And yet still he feels as if he'd die soon if he doesn't at least get to feel your lips on his- there's nothing wrong with at least a kiss, right? Maybe just a little further than that- his couch his comfortable after all, and he for sure won't be able to withstand the temptation of at least holding you close with you staying with him tonight. "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight? I can take the couch, no problems." He asks you to distract himself, ground himself again and get his mind off of things-
But then you visibly pout, ears drooping down a little as you look at him almost disappointed.
"Not.. with you?" You mumble, and his gaze focuses on you again, pupils dilated as he swallows thickly.
"I mean, I won't say no." He tells you, eyes never leaving yours. "But I probably should." He says, making you tilt your head in question. Though in your eyes, in the way they sparkle mischievously, he knows you're very much aware of the implications.
"You won't." You simply smile next to him, legs stretching and tail swaying from side to side, and all he can think of is brat. There's no trace of the shy little cat left it seems like right now, as you look at him all confident and almost challenging.
And yet, he can't disagree.
He won't say no.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
He can't describe the feeling of watching you roll around on his couch, freshly showered and dressed in comfortable clothes.
You did an almost complete flip around from your usual behavior at the carecenter, right now completely relaxed, happily purring as you nuzzle the fabric of a pillow on his couch to cover it with your scent. You're so at ease, obviously feeling safe in his home, and it makes him incredibly proud, because that's exactly what he wants to provide to you.
A safe space.
"Happy?" He asks you with a chuckle, watching as you roll over, nodding at him while laying on your back.
"We'll stay home tomorrow, you know, to spend some time together." He informs you, sitting down close to your head. His hand is pushing into the couch next to your face, and you look at it for a second, seemingly very interested in the black bracelet he's wearing- before you grab his wrist, and bite into his arm.
It surprises him more than anything, thinking he might've come off too strong- but it doesn't hurt, and you're looking at him as if you're actually expecting a reaction from him. You're not trying to hurt him. You're not angry or upset in the slightest.
It's a love-bite.
"You are the most adorable thing-" He chuckles, grabbing onto your wrists to pull you over his lap and sit you up, "-I've ever met, you know that?" He flirts, looking at you, your tail swishing from side to side behind you in excitement, before your ears turn to the sides, flat outwards, as you wiggle out of his grasp, running down the hallway into your room.
He's laughing, entirely amused by your sudden zoomies, as you peek around the corner of your door, before you hide away again, this time running into his room instead. He's watching how you suddenly come dashing out, sliding over his smooth floor on your knees protected by your thigh high socks, holding onto the edge of the backrest of the couch he's sitting on, staring up at him with wide open eyes.
It sort of invites him almost, as his hands grab your wrists again, easily pulling you up and over the back of the couch, leaving you belly down on over his lap, his arms holding you down as he nuzzles into the back of your neck, making you laugh.
You like it when he plays with you like this- proves his strength to you, his capabilities of keeping you safe. Shows you that his physique isn't just for show and anesthetics.
"You know I like you, don't you?" He wonders, and you nod easily at that, turning over on his lap, trusting in the fact that he'll make sure you don't roll off- and he does in fact make sure you don't, carefully holding onto you, and even adjusting the hem of your dress for you. "How do you feel about that?" He wonders, and you shrug, hand reaching out to play with his necklace.
"Happy." You just state, your attention clearly not entirely on him but more on your chosen toy. He notices that, takes the pendant away from your hands before he throws it over his shoulder, effectively removing it from your reach. And you don't roll like that, fingers instantly pulling on the necklace at his throat to pull it back- though he now holds your hand in his.
"Eyes up here, darling." He says, and you pout, though you comply. "Good. Now give me a proper answer." He demands, and you stretch your legs a little before going limp again.
"Happy.. really." You nod. "You're.. my mate." You tell him, and he smiles, nodding.
"That I am." He agrees, looking down at your lips before his haze moves up to your eyes again. "And you're mine." He says.
"Am I?" You challenge, making his gaze sharpen as he notices your clear intentions as you wiggle out of his lap and instead of the couch next to him, feet pushing against the outside of his thigh.
And he easily takes on your little challenge, well aware that you're no match for him at the end of the day.
Cute.
It starts as nothing but slightly tickling kisses, ends of his hair brushing over your skin and making you giggle, before be chuckles, and bites at your neck. It's a lot more gentle than you thought he might be- but it's also clear that he's simply playing with you, no intent for anything more right now.
He'd live to play with you like that as well- but all in due time.
Your tail smacks loudly against the leather of the couch, his antics fueling your instincts as your ears pin back. He wonders how much you can take- until you move as well, biting his shoulder, this time leaving a clear mark that tells him you're at your limit.
"Now there's no question, is there?" He wonders, moving around with you in his arms to hold you, kissing his mark to calm you down. "Now you're mine." He hums against your skin, and you nod, his slightly rough tongue moving over the tender spot once.
He catches himself in the act, surprised at it. He's never done that before- never, not even in past relationships. He doesn't even know why he did that, it's a little weird, no? Sure, he's a hybrid, but he's mostly human. He's never attempted to.. Groom a partner like this before.
But you don't seem bothered- in fact, you're happily purring in his arms, relaxed and comfortable.
"Yours." You mumble sleepily, yawning before you turn to cling to him, rubbing your cheek against his shirt to get your scent on him.
And he can't help but curl his tail around yours, feeling like everything has finally fallen into place for him.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

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More Posts from Myg-butterfly
forgot to mention that this was highly inspired by THIS picture of hoseok and jungkook ☹️🤍☹️🤍

Hii! Can I make a request about a fluff moment in a relationship with Namjoon? Whatever you want it's okay, just something soft/cute please :)
close to you (drabble)
namjoon x reader
sypnosis: you're supposed to finish reading this novel – instead, namjoon reads you like a book
(newly-ish) established relationship, non-idol au, this is a bit rushed, i wrote it in one go while i was running on mcdonald's ice coffee, this is FLUFF!!!! FLUFFY ! SOFT GENTLE GIANT JOON !
main masterlist
°. —・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑
you and namjoon were sitting in comfortable silence in his room, each of you immersed in your own thing – and by each of you, that means mostly just namjoon.
you were supposed to be reading a book while namjoon types away at his computer, when you suddenly felt this need to go and cuddle up to him.
your relationship was relatively new, only about a month, and you were still growing comfortable with each other; learning what you're open to receiving and giving.
this was one of those moments where you didn't know what was considered "too soon" or "too clingy", especially with someone like namjoon;
he's a gentleman, the kindest of the kindest, so for the most part, he's been letting you set the pace, him rarely initiating anything without coaxing it out of you first.
maybe it was how good he looked, all the damn time, but especially when he concentrated. or maybe it was the way you could see his chest softly rising and falling, making you want to snuggle into it. maybe it was just how much you liked him, you weren't sure, the only thing you were sure of was the itching in your legs to get up and straddle him so he could hold you in the way you were daydreaming of.
you were so deep into your mental debate that you hadn't noticed you were staring, but namjoon had. it wasn't until he called your name that you snapped out of it, heat rising in your cheeks as you looked away, embarrassed from being caught.
"you okay there, darling?" he moved away from his computer for a moment so he could look at you better and you just stiffly nodded as an answer.
"you sure?"
"mhm. yup. yes."
"okay-"
"wait. i-"
you interrupted namjoon as he was about to move back to the computer, but you were having a hard time getting the words to leave your throat.
"hmph. uh- can we- can i- um- sorry. uh, n-nevermind."
namjoon grew concerned at your rambling, moving to get up and walk towards you until he was able to kneel down in front of you.
"baby? what's wrong-"
"sorry, i just- can we try something?"
you fumbled with your fingers a little and finally looked up to meet namjoon's stare.
his eyes were soft and curious, and you could swear you fell in love with him all over again in that moment.
"yeah, of course."
nervously, you stood; namjoon following your lead.
why were you so nervous? this was your boyfriend for goodness sake. you're literally dating this man.
deciding to just go for it, you shuffle forward until you're hugging namjoon with your hands around his neck.
this catches him off guard for a second, before he wraps his arms around your waist.
when you feel his grip on you, you hop and wrap both of your legs around his torso so he's carrying you.
namjoon just makes a "hm?" sound as he adjusts his hold on you to make sure you don't slip.
"can we go sit in your chair?"
your softly asked question causes a lightbulb to flicker on over namjoon's head, finally starting to realize what you wanted.
"okay."
he makes his way back to the chair by his computer, and sits down slowly to make sure you can position yourself comfortably.
as you both settle down, a happy sigh leaves your lips, entirely pleased with how you're sitting on his lap and your head buried in his chest just like you had been wanting since you got to his place.
"is this what you wanted?" namjoon's voice is light and affectionate and it only makes you nuzzle further into him as you nod.
he chuckles and runs his fingers through your hair before speaking again.
"you know, you don't have to ask for these kinds of things."
this makes you lift your head up to look at him, happy to find his eyes filled with genuineness.
"i just don't want to make you uncomfortable or bother you or cross a line you know?"
"actually, i don't know. i don't know how you could think that having me hold you would garner a negative reaction from me at all. having you in my arms like this … it's easily one of my favorite things in the world. its not like you could ever bother me anyways."
he's cupping your face now, and you know he can feel your face growing hot from how flustered his words were making you.
"you don't think i'm too, i don't know, clingy?"
he holds your face tighter now.
"no, not really. and even if you are clingy, it honestly makes me happy. i'll say it as many times as you want me to; i love having you close to me."
your smile grew at his response, and he leaned forward to kiss your forehead.
once he pulled back, you rested your head on his chest again, feeling like you were on a cloud, a namjoon shaped cloud even. he filled all of your senses, his scent strong and addicting, his arm around your waist keeping you close to him, the clicking of the mouse in front of him, the soft light of the computer illuminating his face perfectly.
this is how namjoon appears in your life, you think.
a gentle glow to greet you where you go, enough to light up your surroundings but not to blind you;
no matter how hard it could be to make your want for these kinds of things known to him, he always understood.
Jungkook
𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 : Empty Bed

You like being a ghost.
Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt & Comfort, Idol!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Cat Hybrid!Reader, mentions of depression and depressive thoughts, heartbreak, homelessness, it's a bit heavy sorry, mentions of mental abuse and manipulation, betrayal, slow burn, eventual smut, dead dove do not eat
Dead Dove do not eat: warning for potentially triggering content that can't be tagged without spoiling the story.
Length: 2.4k words
-> Masterlist
~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~
"Do you want to come to Miss Kim's barbecue today?" Your owner, Hanako, asks from the entrance of your room.
Miss Kim is nice. She always keeps all of your favorite snacks in a drawer in her living room for you every time you visit her home. She's a bit old now, can't walk that well, but she's still a young spirit at heart, always trying to play around with you whenever she feels like her body can handle it. You're not a dog hybrid. You don't play fetch, or frisbee, or anything of the sorts.
But she's nice. So you do it anyways, because it makes her happy.
Miss Kim has two sons, and you know Hanako likes one of them a lot. She doesn't outright say it, scolds you whenever you accidentally let something slip that could tell him this secret. But you know she does. Because she looks at him like you did at your past lover.
She should pursue him before he finds someone else to love. And she can't if you're around to ruin that, because he tends to pay more attention to you than to her. So you shake your head at her question, watching the cars pass by outside your window, way down below. Daegu is an odd place to you- like you're stuck in an old childhood dream you're not quite sure of. Is it a bad one? Does it hurt? Or was it pretty, and you just forgot?
Hanako sighs, but walks off. She's done that for a few months now, maybe even more than a year, as if she's given up on you. You wouldn't be surprised. After all, she never really wanted you in the first place.
You wonder why she agreed to it, back then. Did she feel like she had to? Probably, because while she'd never been awful to you, she'd also made it very clear at all times that she 'could never' own a hybrid herself. And yet, when he had dropped you off at her place, back then still a small apartment in the capital, she'd just nodded, taken your things from him, closed the door. You remember watching him leave from the window of her bedroom. He hadn't even looked back once, simply got in his car, and drove off.
Never to be seen again, except on TV.
Is he still mad at you? If yes, then for what? He never told you, never really explained to you why he'd given you away, and Hanako told you that she doesn't have his phone number anymore, doesn't know how to contact him. She'd explained that your name would change from that point on, that your ID was something else you never bothered learning like you did when you were still in his care. She'd told you that this was a new chapter in your life now, that you'll both have to adjust, and that it'll be fine.
It'll just hurt for a bit, she'd said. What's a 'bit', in her terms? Because it's been two years, and it still stings every time you see him on TV and billboards.
When the front door closes, you know that Hanako has left. She doesn't even say goodbye to you these days when she leaves for work, or dates, or grocery shopping. It makes you feel invisible, and in a way, you like it like that. You like being a ghost. That way, you can pretend that nothing ever happened- that you're just waiting to go home, one day, whenever that might be.
Does he think about you sometimes? Or has he forgotten about you?
Hanako says it's bad that you still follow what he does on social media. Has taken your phone away occasionally when she deemed it fit. But these days, she doesn't seem to really care anymore. And neither do you, to be honest. His livestreams only make you dream of nightmares at night where he's still standing at Hanakos old apartment, throwing your stuff into the room a lot more forcefully than you know he actually did. You remember him being awfully quiet and stoic, with no emotions in his face, but in those dreams he always looks angry, disappointed, scolding you for something you don't know you might've done. In your eyes, you've never done him harm. You always tried to be good. But it seems like that wasn't enough.
In reality, he's never even told you he'd be leaving you forever. In reality, he just told you to stay with Hanako- and he just never picked you up ever again.
You moved to Daegu pretty much a few weeks after that, into a new home, way bigger, but a lot more intimidating as well. The neighborhood is nice, quiet and reserved. Hanako sometimes takes you downtown to the food markets, but it's become less these days. Will she soon be tired of you too? Maybe. Jungkook, back then, gave you away after about three years as well. You remember he got his hair bleached after you'd started living in Daegu with Hanako. Now he's back to his natural hair, got piercings too, new tattoos, and long hair he sometimes ties in the back. It looks good.
He looks like he's finally free. Did you hold him back?
Maybe. You remember both his members and the company not being happy about you living with him back then. It was always somewhat awkward whenever someone would visit- you'd stay in your room after the first few times, avoiding any person that wasn't him after a while. He knew why, there's no way he didn't- but he simply accepted your choice, began to have less people over instead to accommodate to you, because that's what he's always done.
Maybe that annoyed him after a while. Maybe he regretted getting you in the first place.
Jungkook had always been quite impulsive, back then more than nowadays. He'd always been wild, and it was true that he sometimes made choices he'd regret later on. Maybe you were one of those choices? Probably, considering how he usually ends up either adjusting to the things he can't change, while he otherwise searches for ways to undo what he doesn't want no more, like he did when he didn't want his helix piercings.
He just took them out, and never put them in again, holes closing and leaving nothing behind. Just like with you. Did you leave nothing behind as well?
Hanako will probably bring Miss Kim's son over tonight. She deserves to have him, deserves to undo a bad choice as well- so maybe it's best to take that off her shoulders. Sure, she's not been as nice to you as Jungkook has been. She sometimes yells, and locks you into your room, but you know she's just overwhelmed with you. She doesn't mean to be like this. It's you that's the issue.
It's always you that's the issue.
~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~
You've never taken a train by yourself before. In a way, it's exciting.
You know that at this point, Hanako doesn't know yet that you're gone. Will she be happy that you're not there? You made your bed all tidy, cleaned up what you could after cooking yourself a filling meal to last you for the next few days. Until she knows, however, you'll have to get away as far as you can, to buy yourself time to think about what to do next. Your hybrid transportation ticket will only last for a few more days before it'll expire- Hanako didn't renew the subscription on it, since you don't technically leave the house by yourself after all. It's one of those last few things you know still runs on Jungkook's name- once the ticket expires, there will really only be your life insurance left. He's really cut all ties with you, and you can't blame him.
He's thorough after all. If he does something, he tends to see it through instantly, as fast as he can, so he can make sure he's seen it through.
Daegu's landscape changes the deeper into the city you drive. Taking train after train is actually quite fun, seeing all those people go about their days, no one really paying any attention to you. You like this. You're like a ghost.
You like being a ghost.
You get up for a pregnant mother with her little child, the woman warmly thanking you, quiet as to not disturb any other traveler, and you simply watch for a second, before you get off the train yourself. You don't really have a goal in mind, not very prepared for what you did in the end, but maybe you don't need one. You could go to Seoul, right? It would take a bit, but you'd be fine. You can't really risk taking the way faster bullet train after all- your ticket doesn't work for that one, so you'll need to take the regular intercity one. You remember taking that one before, actually. You don't remember why though. Maybe a doctor's appointment? Maybe.
You step out the train, waiting for the one you want to take, when a small dog yaps at you from the side, tail wagging excitedly. You don't look up at the young man who's holding the leash, gently tugging to pick up the small animal. "All alone?" He asks with a deep but friendly voice, and you simply nod, making it clear that you don't really want to talk. And the man gets the message, simply nods as well, though you do feel his eyes on you for a moment or two.
You lose sight of him at some point when you board the train to Seoul station- but you don't mind at all.
The next few hours are spent watching the scenery change and change and change outside the window- sun setting, golden hue filling the rather empty train section you're in. Some people are sleeping, probably tired from work, while others are on their phone, or reading. It's reassuring to you how the world keeps on turning even after what you've done. It doesn't even feel all that bad, even though you don't know where you'll sleep tonight. Maybe you'll stay awake, and take a nap at a park tomorrow. Seoul is way more familiar to you, at the end of the day- you'll have a better time navigating and living there from now on.
As soon as you step out the train, legs a bit sore from sitting so long, you're greeted with a wave of nostalgia.
Hanako never went to Seoul with you for some reason. Maybe Jungkook just doesn't want to stumble upon you by accident- does he hate you that much? It's a horrible thought to have, but then again, you basically took his youth from him when he'd taken you in, signed that contract of ownership. Sure, you both had something similar to love- you'd kissed, made love, all of those things- but you're still a hybrid, while he's a full blooded human. There'd be no way something like that would be overlooked considering his status as not only an idol, but one of the most famous ones at the moment.
In a way, you can understand it. You'll keep an eye out from now on, so you can avoid him.
Has Hanako already noticed you're not home? Miss Kim usually keeps her over for a long time until late at night, so you wouldn't be surprised if she didn't. You left your phone and everything else at home, your backpack only containing clothes, some food, a bit of money you've saved up, and nothing else. You don't want anything on you that could identify you- you're already pretty much a blinking red light with your white hybrid features. Like a ghost, you think.
But you like being a ghost, so it's fine.
At Hangang river, you sit down and put down the beanie you've been wearing for a moment, let your ears and hair breath freely for a bit. It's not too chilly outside, and while you know it's illegal to sleep outside, if you're smart about it you could probably pull it off. Or maybe you'll just sleep at a cheap bathhouse. Hopefully there's space at a hybrid friendly one. There should be one in Itaewon, if you remember it correctly. And even if not, you'll find your way around. You'll be fine from now on, not bothering anybody, not keeping anyone from achieving what they want and deserve. You'll be a ghost, all by yourself, all for yourself.
Someone is playing music close by. It sounds nice, soothing, and the couples around all snuggle a little closer on their blankets, making you happy for them. Maybe you'll find someone too, one day, to snuggle up to at times like these. Seoul never seems to sleep, but you know many do, right now, as the lights in the windows slowly turn off one by one, everyone going to hide underneath their blankets until their days begin tomorrow at different times. Could you work at some point? Not really, no. You're a stray now after all, and considering all the searches police does regularly, no one wants to risk it any longer for those they don't know. And you're a ghost to everyone- people don't risk their livelihoods for ghosts.
Maybe you'll need to make careful connections. Friendships, that could help you survive in the long run, when the nights will turn cold and harsh again at some point. For now, summer will soon arrive, making it a bit easier to sleep outside at night. And if you're careful with your money, you'll be able to stay at cheap accommodations every now then, unless Hanako puts you out there as missing, that is.
She shouldn't, really. You don't want to go back to her, you don't belong there, can't even call it home. Neither is Jungkook home anymore, isn't he? Maybe he never was, who knows really. But no one should search for ghosts, not if they don't want to be found like you. You like this. The way no one pays you any mind, drunk friends stumbling past you with no attention spared. You like this. You like being invisible.
You like being a ghost.

How Many Things
Yoongi x Reader
Summary: Yoongi invites you out to a party with him, and in trust, you say yes. But what happens when you lose him in the crowd, just to find him again with someone else by his side? In the midst of panic and longing, you wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to you.
Tags: Non-Idol AU, Anti-Social Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff
Warnings: Anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, Yoongi is an asshole for a minute, some of his friends are big time assholes, insecurities, social anxiety, lots of feelings, Teahyung and Namjoon are sweethearts, crying, jealousy, author's first fic lol.
A/N: HEY HELLO HI!!! This is my first fic that I'm publishing here so pls be gentle 🙏 And if you enjoy, leave feedback, good or bad, I love interactions. This is self-indulgent comfort that I've been thinking about for a long while and I was like ,,,,,, Yoongi got me 🥰🙏 Also this was slightly inspired by Sabrina Carpenter's "how many things" from her album EICS go listen if you want the extra angst. So yeah, enjoy!
You began to panic, the music was so, so loud, the clattering of dishes and glasses from the bar, the yelling, all the bodies and their humidity, it was all becoming too much, and to your dismay, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen.
You tried to recollect yourself as you began pushing through the crowd, determined on finding him. With every slip past a person, every step and stumble, you grew even more exhausted, but then finally, Yoongi came into view.
He was to the other end of the bar, a smile plastered in all his glory. Whoever he was talking to was clearly making him laugh, and just the sight of him made the tension in your shoulders ease a little bit. You were just about to call out to him, maybe even when fling yourself in his arms, but then-
Then you saw her. The one responsible for the way his face was currently scrunched with a happy grin. They stood close to each other, even as they turned the other way and moved to take a seat together at the bar. They were hand in hand, they looked like the human embodiment of perfection.
You felt your heart deflate as Yoongi pulled out a chair for her, proceeding to signal something to the bartender, the peace sign on his fingers and the pointing between him and her gave you the idea he asked for a drink for both of them. They continued to laugh and talk, and you had to force yourself to look away.
The sight of them made you remember why you hated going out, but even worse, you remembered why you vowed to not get romantically attached to anyone, especially not Yoongi.
The turning of your stomach was becoming hard to ignore, your quick breaths making matters worse. You knew you had to get out of there; with or without Yoongi. So with one last glance at him -who was still engrossed deeply in conversation with the woman next to him, leaning to whisper something in her ear and her reacting in a flustered manner- you fought your way to the door, tears beginning to spill the moment the night breeze greeted you.
As much as you wanted to just run and run and run until your body gave out on you, you knew better than to try and make it back to the dorms by foot.
You sighed defeatedly and pulled out your phone, texting the one person who you knew would be here without fail. As much as you didn't like bothering him (even though he's told you countless times you're not) you knew he'd scold you if you walked home on your own, and a scolding from him was never an enjoyable experience.
Y/N: are you busy rn?
Namjoon: Not currently. Why?
Y/N: can u pls come pick me up
Namjoon: Where are you? Are you safe?
Y/N: yeah, here's my location *📍*
Namjoon: I'll be there in less than 10. Stay put, okay?
Y/N: ok. ty joon.
Putting your phone away, you sat at the nearest bench you found, and attempted to stop the tears from falling further before Namjoon arrived.
But no matter how hard you tried, it was pretty much impossible to not think about why you were out here in the first place. Were you overreacting? Yoongi's allowed to have friends. So why are you so hurt? It's not even like you're together or anything.
In all honesty, you wanted to be mad at them.
You wanted to be mad at him for giving you even the slightest hope that there might be something more between you two.
You wanted to be mad at that girl he was with for being so damn perfect for him, for being everything that you could never begin to come close to.
But deep down you didn't have it in you to be angry at anyone but yourself.
How could you have been so stupid?
You knew that no one would want you romantically, you knew that all he felt for you was pity, that you'd never come first, and yet you still got your hopes up.
You let yourself dream that he wanted you like you wanted him. You believed all those things he said out of pity, all the reassurances and compliments, you knew that they were nothing but him simply being who he is; a naturally kind person.
You knew all of this, so why the hell were you crying? Why were you walking out and aimlessly trying to find anywhere else to go?
'Pathetic' you scoffed at yourself. You were being immature, everything everyone else had said about you was true. You were stupid to think otherwise.
Before you could continue to wallow in your self-pity, you felt a small tap to your shoulder, and you looked up to find Namjoon looking down at you.
"Y/N? Are you alright?" You quickly wiped away your remaining tears and nodded your head, standing up to greet him. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Thank you for coming Namjoon." You bowed slightly, trying your best to look well put together. "It's no problem dear. My car's this way, come on."
"You want me to drive you back to your apartment?" You both got in his car and he asked as you put on your seatbelts. "Yes, please. Thank you." He only hummed in response as he began to drive, a soft tune playing on the radio, just loud enough to make it less awkward.
Namjoon knew you probably weren't in the mood to talk, and you were grateful for the silent understanding you guys shared. You weren't awfully close, but you'd shared your own personal memories with each other, and you mutually knew the other would be willing to lend a hand when needed. That's what you liked about him. He was just understanding like that.
The drive to your apartment was short, and even though you lived on the 3rd floor, Namjoon insisted on walking you to your door.
"Hey, take care okay? If you need anything else don't hesitate to call me, yeah?" He said as you reached your door, the genuine look on his face made you tear up once more.
"Yeah. Thank you, Joon." You waved him off as you stepped into your apartment, closing the door as he began to turn around.
You immediately kicked off your heels and went to grab a glass of water. You chugged it down as if you hadn't had a drop of water in days, proceeding to open your fridge and let the waterworks begin as you realized your appetite was gone just seeing the carton of orange juice sitting there with a sticky note that reads, "YOONGI'S!!! DO NOT DRINK >:("
He'd helped you with your groceries about 2 weeks ago, and the orange juice he bought was claimed by him, protesting that he needed "emergency juice" because he was at your apartment so often.
Not wanting to look at his skrunkly handwriting anymore, you shut the fridge door and rested your head in your hands on the kitchen counter.
The more you thought about it, the more prominent the ache in your chest became. He was the one who invited you to that party in the first place. He was the one who wanted you to have fun. He was the one that promised he wouldn't leave your side. Yet here you were, back at the dorms, hugging yourself in attempts to conceal your heartbreak.
If you had gone on your own and just happened to see him there with another girl, then that would have been a different story.
But no.
Yoongi himself told you two nights ago that he was invited to a party, and he wanted you to accompany him as his plus one. And as nervous and hesitant as you were, he spurred you on, encouraging; "No matter what you wear you'll look stunning." And "Everyone will love you" and "I won't leave your side, okay?"
That one stung the most when you thought about it, because not even 15 minutes into the party, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. You could tell that most of his friends weren't too fond of you, and you felt ridiculous in the pink dress you wore.
You thought of how you'd taken hours to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not cry at your appearance made you cringe. You tried so hard to look nice, to feel pretty, to feel wanted, and it still didn't work.
You grew angrier, why weren't you good enough? What made it so hard to love you? You practically ripped off your dress, the fabric suddenly piercing your skin, your arms wiping off your already smearing makeup furiously, and you stomped to your bed, plopping down violently before letting out a strangled groan that sounded more like a whimper.
You felt like shit. Your whole night was shit.
Were you overreacting? You had been rude too. I mean, you left without even telling him. You're just as bad, right?
He's the one who left you standing there, Y/N. Your brain going back and forth until you decided that falling asleep would be easier.
"Sooo how'd it go with lover boy last night? Assuming things went well from what I saw." An overly excited Taehyung appeared at your side, a smug grin on his face as he poked your arms. You just shrugged your shoulders as a response, the mere mention of the previous night was enough to deflate your already souring mood.
"Don't give me that look, Y/N! I know you and Yoongi got it on last night!" Taehyung flailed his arms accusingly, as if waddling around would make his statements true. "We didn't get it on, Taehyung. Literally nothing happened. Nothing." You tried to remain calm as you spoke, but your patience was running thin.
"Oh come on Y/N. Yoongi was absolutely plastered this morning and you're gonna try to tell me nothing happened?" He kept on going as he shook your shoulders, and it took everything in you to not slap his hands away.
"Did he get home safe last night?" Your brows furrowed in slight worry at the mention of Yoongi being wasted, and no matter how hurt you were, you had to know if he was okay.
"Uh, yeah. Were you drunk too? I thought you guys left together. Do you not remember?" The lump in your throat was becoming harder to swallow down as Taehyung spoke. You had to be strong. You were not gonna cry over this to your poor friend who's excited.
"You know I don't drink. And, no we didn't leave together. I asked Namjoon to take me home." You hoped he'd stop asking questions, but much to your dismay- "You left with Namjoon?!?! Does Yoongi know?!?!? Did anything happen with him!?" At this point you were on the brink of tears, you hated talking about this.
"Taehyung, please let it go. I just wanted to know if Yoongi got home safely. Can we please just drop it?" Taehyung caught onto your pleading tone and the hurt look in your eyes, and he nodded with his softened expression.
"Sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to pry." He spoke cautiously. "It's okay Tae."
He shot you another worried look before returning to walking in silence beside you once again.
The rest of the day went painfully slow, your mind too exhausted to deal with walking from one side of campus to the other, and much less to pay attention to what your professors were saying.
Expectedly, you collapsed onto your bed the moment you went back to your dorm. You were gladly going to continue feeling sorry for yourself, but the ringing of your doorbell rudely interrupted you.
You groaned, hoping they'd just go away, but after a few seconds another ring came. You [grumpily] got up, running your hands through your hair in attempt to look somewhat presentable.
As you made your way to the door, you wondered who could be at your apartment, especially now that it was beginning to get late, the sun going down quickly outside.
You hesitantly opened the door, immediately wishing you would've just continued to ignore whoever was at the door once you saw who was standing in front of you.
"Hi, I brought dinner." There Yoongi stood with a soft smile on his face, lifting a brown bag in reference to dinner.
You stood stunned, wanting to say something, but your mind went blank.
"Y/N? You there?" He playfully waved his hands around trying to get your attention.
"Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry. Just didn't expect you to come by."
"Oh, sorry if I startled you. I texted you but you didn't respond, and you didn't answer last night when I called, so I wanted to come check if you were okay." He shuffled from foot to foot, worry evident in his eyes.
"Oh, just haven't been on my phone lately." You looked down, feeling unsure on how to talk to him without showing him your hurt.
"Oh alright. So, we heading in for dinner?" The smile returned to Yoongi's face, and no matter how hurt you were, you still found it hard to say no to him.
"Oh, yeah, sure. Of course."
You opened the door a little further and stepped aside to let him in.
On a normal occasion, dinner with Yoongi would've been the highlight of your day. But now, it was filled with awkward silence and poor attempts at small talk — Yoongi hates small talk as much as you, so you don't know why he's still trying — the tension in the air was hardly going unnoticed.
It wasn't until you finished eating that he decided to just rip the bandage off.
"Are you angry with me?" Yoongi asked, and you almost questioned if he was being serious or not, but the expression he held made you realize that he was in fact clueless about the hurt he put you through.
You weren't sure what to say, so you stayed silent. I mean, it's not like you were angry at him. But you also weren't too happy with him either. Yoongi felt his heart drop as your gaze dropped his own, denying him from an answer.
"Y/N? Did I do something?" He asks from across the table where he's sitting.
For some reason hearing those words from him made the tears you've been holding back so well spill over.
Did he really have no idea? Were you genuinely overreacting? Did you just make everything up in your head?
"Do you really not know?" You tried to push your voice out firmly, but it came out in a broken whisper. You wanted to look at Yoongi, you wanted to see if his face washed over with realization, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor.
"Is this about me getting drunk at that party? I thought you said you didn't mind if I had alcohol." His wording sounded harsher than he intended, but with your already weakened state, you had to hold back from full on sobbing right there in front of him.
"This is about you leaving me by myself in the middle of the party when you promised you wouldn't leave my side!" Your frustration began to take over, did he really not see it? He's supposed to know you better than anyone else.
"Leaving you by yourself? Last thing I heard, you had found yourself a new companion for the night." Yoongi scoffed, his mood souring when he recalls finding out that apparently you'd left with some other guy.
The drinks he'd had were enough to make the night slightly blurry and to make him work a little harder to recall the night's events, but unfortunately, they weren't enough to make him forget how someone had stole you away from him.
"Where did you hear that?" You asked, trying to mask the hurt you were currently feeling.
"My friends" He responded, as if that was supposed to change what you had said.
"Your friends ... the ones you introduced me to?"
"Yeah"
"Your friends really don't seem to like me." You muttered, but Yoongi somehow caught the soft mumbling.
"What do you mean? To me it looked like they were all happy to meet you." His tone remained cold, and you felt more tears forming quickly.
"Well, you weren't there with me when they all laughed at me because I'd lost you in the crowd." You tried to defend yourself.
"They're not like that, I know they aren't."
"You wouldn't know how they acted towards me because you left me alone." You continued on, his face morphing into one resembling more of guilt.
"He left you already? Didn't even last half an hour."
"They haven't even had 1 drink tonight, no wonder Yoongi ran away so fast. Prude."
You winced while recalling how they'd laughed at you when you tried asking for Yoongi, passing it off as a joke when you'd gotten visibly upset.
You softened your tone, sadness catching up with you and replacing your frustration.
"It hurt, Yoongi. You know me better than anyone. You're supposed to know me better than anyone. You know how much I hate parties and bars, how I hate talking to people I don't know, how I don't do things alone. Ever. And you know that if I made you promise to not leave my side it's because I'm not ever planning to leave yours either. Do you know how bad it hurt to be panicking only to turn around and see you having the time of your life? Especially with someone else, when you promised me that night was for you and I only? It hurt, so damn bad."
Yoongi's heart dropped at your words, had it really been that bad for you? How did he not notice?
"I didn't leave with anyone yesterday, Namjoon brought me back to my apartment and left the moment I walked inside that door. You're the one that left with someone else last night, and it wasn't me."
A thick moment of silence engulfs you, and you begin to wait for a snap, or some sort of outburst from Yoongi, but all that comes is—
"Y/N... I- Shit. That's not-" You looked up hesitantly at the sound of Yoongi fumbling his words. He ran a hand through his hair in disbelief before slowly moving closer and crouching down in front of you. "I'm so sorry Y/N. I swear didn't mean to leave you. I went to go get the drinks, I did. And then when I couldn't find you I went and asked my friends if they had seen you, and they said that you'd gone off dancing with some guy, and so I went to go look for you and I ran into a classmate, which is the girl you saw me with. And I thought, since Y/N's off with someone else, it wouldn't hurt to have a drink with a girl from my class. I wouldn't have left you if I knew that you were by yourself. I'm so sorry."
Yoongi's gaze dropped to the floor as he finished, ashamed for being the root of your tears.
"I should've known better, I- I was just so opposed to seeing you happy with someone else that I immediately rejected the idea of looking for you to avoid the possibility of someone else making your night special. And I know that's not really a valid excuse, not looking for you because I was jealous- of something that wasn't even fucking happening- it isn't fair to you whatsoever. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I truly am." He takes your hands in his and takes a moment to recollect his next words.
"What can I do to make it up to you? Even if it's just the smallest fraction, I want to show you how sorry I am. Anything you want. Please." You paused for a moment, even though your conscience immediately knew what you wanted.
Hold me. Please. Hold me. Nudge your head with mine, lock our pinkies, put your leg against mine, anything. Please, hold me.
With your brain screaming mantras of 'I need to be held', you reached out for him for a second, before your body jerked to a stop.
No. I need him to hold me. I need him to reach out. He needs to initiate- please-
Yoongi's quick to notice your body language, and equally quick to react. "Do you want to be held, sweetheart?" You swear you felt yourself physically start to glow at the sound of him uttering the words you've been dying to hear for god knows how long.
You nod your head and you're so delighted by the aspect of someone- well, not just someone, but Yoongi- comforting you, that you don't even notice the soft whimper that leaves you as he scoots closer to you.
"Words, darling." He says softly, and your body automatically responds with soft chants of "Yes, please, yes Yoongi."
You don't even notice how tears begin to fall against your cheeks again when you feel Yoongi's hands wiping them away.
"C'mere, I've got you baby. Let's go to bed, yeah?" He grabs your legs and wraps them around his torso, before he holds you against him tightly and begins to stand up with you in his arms.
You feel yourself melting at the pet names he's giving you, glad that he's carrying you because you're sure your legs would've given out on you at this point.
You continue turning to mush when you feel how gently Yoongi sets you down once you reach your bed, how he squeezes your hand and asks for permission to lay with you with his eyes, how he reaches for you under the covers and cradles you close, fingers running through your hair softly.
The bliss is only momentarily, broken when your mouth moves faster than your brain;
"Yoongi?"
"Hm?"
"Why did it upset you when you thought I was at the club with someone else?" Your question comes out as a whisper, scared for his response.
"Y/N." He pulls back a little to see your face.
"Yoongi." You reply mocking his tone.
"Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you?" He's secretly glad that it's dark in your room, otherwise you'd be able to see the blush coating his cheeks.
"What are you talking about?" You ask, and his only response is a huff while pulling your head back into his chest.
"Yoooongiiii" Your whine comes out muffled by his shirt.
"Y/nnnnnn" It's now Yoongi's turn to mock your tone.
"Answer the questionnnn"
You feel the vibrations of his chest as he mumbles something into your hair, and you would've lost it on the spot if you weren't so focused on getting an answer out of him.
"Yoongi I can't understand you when you're mumbling like a child." You chuckle slightly, not wanting to dwell on how you can feel his heart beating rapidly against you before he mumbles once again, only this time louder.
"I don't understand you for shit." At this, Yoongi lets go of you and sits up with a sigh, looking at you for a second before securing his gaze on his hands. You follow suit and sit up as well, only slightly behind him.
"I like you. I've liked you. For a really long while." His voice is so soft and it sounds so timid, you almost think you're imagining it.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Wait- that's not a good way to respond to that. Uhhh- wait." You quickly shift so you're facing him fully.
"Do you mean like as in 'you're a homie' or like as in 'you're not just the homie you're THE homie'? Because before I say anything you would have to clari-"
"Do you think I do this with all my friends?" He cuts off your nervous ramble, grabbing both of your shaky hands with his equally shaken ones.
"What specifically?"
"All of it."
"Wha-"
"The sharing food? The holding hands and carrying you and bringing dinner over and inviting them everywhere with me? The cuddling and the 'baby' and 'doll'? You know how I am about my personal space, and you know how I am about my sleep, and you know how I am about affection. Do you think I do that with just anyone?"
"Well- I don't know, I mean- I don't know what your other friendsh-"
"I don't. You're the only one that gets to see me like this. You're the only one I treat like this. You're the only one I want to treat like this. I like you. And I want to be with you. And that's why I was upset. Because when I thought you were with someone else, it made me feel as if you didn't want the same thing as me."
Before you got the chance to even begin to process, Yoongi catches himself and feels the need to justify: "Obviously if you don't feel the same then I won't like, lash out at you or anything, it'll hurt but I don't want you to feel forced into something more with me than what we have now, it's just you asked me why I was upset and that was the only way I could explain it but I-"
"Yoongi." He's stopped by a soft tug to his shirt and the even softer sound of your voice.
You catch each other's eyes, the flickers of hope and longing between them, and the search of honesty.
"I feel the same."
A sigh leaves his lips and he breaks into a smile before picking you up in one motion and setting you on his lap so you're straddling him.
"Does this mean we're like, um- like,,,,"
"Like...?" His tone is teasing, and you know he knows what you mean.
"Like, y'know- like..."
"I actually don't know...."
"Yoongi." You huff out, your shyness getting the best of you.
"Yes?" His tone is smug, making you groan into his chest.
Working off of pure adrenaline, you mumble quietly: "Like, together."
"What was that doll?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face, making you try and shuffle away from him, but Yoongi's quicker, pulling you back into him with a giggle.
"If you're asking if we're officially dating, then don't even question it baby." He's still laughing, but his tone is firmer this time.
"So I'm taking that as a yes?"
"Fuck yes."
You burst out laughing at his response, and soon enough you've both fallen into a fit of giggles, as well as back into the bed, with you on top of Yoongi, before he flips you over so he's hovering over you.
"Y/N."
"Yoongi?"
"Can I kiss you?"
End.
myg-butterfly • masterlist
masterpost here!

kim seokjin
coming soon ...
kim namjoon
close to you (drabble)
fluff, established relationship
summary: you're supposed to finish reading this novel – instead, namjoon reads you like a book
min yoongi
how many things (one-shot)
angst/fluff, hurt/comfort, f2l
summary: yoongi invites you out to a party with him, and in trust, you say yes. but what happens when you lose him in the crowd, just to find him again with someone else by his side? in the midst of panic and longing, you wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to you.
jung hoseok
coming soon …
park jimin
spy!au (two-shot)
angst/fluff, hurt/comfort, e2l
goodnight, love
good morning, it's now tomorrow
summary: things get rough when you and jimin get paired to solve a case together — why do you hate jimin again?
kim taehyung
coming soon …
jeon jungkook
coming soon …
ot7
coming soon …
Hii! Can I make a request about a fluff moment in a relationship with Namjoon? Whatever you want it's okay, just something soft/cute please :)
close to you (drabble)
namjoon x reader
sypnosis: you're supposed to finish reading this novel – instead, namjoon reads you like a book
(newly-ish) established relationship, non-idol au, this is a bit rushed, i wrote it in one go while i was running on mcdonald's ice coffee, this is FLUFF!!!! FLUFFY ! SOFT GENTLE GIANT JOON !
main masterlist
°. —・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑
you and namjoon were sitting in comfortable silence in his room, each of you immersed in your own thing – and by each of you, that means mostly just namjoon.
you were supposed to be reading a book while namjoon types away at his computer, when you suddenly felt this need to go and cuddle up to him.
your relationship was relatively new, only about a month, and you were still growing comfortable with each other; learning what you're open to receiving and giving.
this was one of those moments where you didn't know what was considered "too soon" or "too clingy", especially with someone like namjoon;
he's a gentleman, the kindest of the kindest, so for the most part, he's been letting you set the pace, him rarely initiating anything without coaxing it out of you first.
maybe it was how good he looked, all the damn time, but especially when he concentrated. or maybe it was the way you could see his chest softly rising and falling, making you want to snuggle into it. maybe it was just how much you liked him, you weren't sure, the only thing you were sure of was the itching in your legs to get up and straddle him so he could hold you in the way you were daydreaming of.
you were so deep into your mental debate that you hadn't noticed you were staring, but namjoon had. it wasn't until he called your name that you snapped out of it, heat rising in your cheeks as you looked away, embarrassed from being caught.
"you okay there, darling?" he moved away from his computer for a moment so he could look at you better and you just stiffly nodded as an answer.
"you sure?"
"mhm. yup. yes."
"okay-"
"wait. i-"
you interrupted namjoon as he was about to move back to the computer, but you were having a hard time getting the words to leave your throat.
"hmph. uh- can we- can i- um- sorry. uh, n-nevermind."
namjoon grew concerned at your rambling, moving to get up and walk towards you until he was able to kneel down in front of you.
"baby? what's wrong-"
"sorry, i just- can we try something?"
you fumbled with your fingers a little and finally looked up to meet namjoon's stare.
his eyes were soft and curious, and you could swear you fell in love with him all over again in that moment.
"yeah, of course."
nervously, you stood; namjoon following your lead.
why were you so nervous? this was your boyfriend for goodness sake. you're literally dating this man.
deciding to just go for it, you shuffle forward until you're hugging namjoon with your hands around his neck.
this catches him off guard for a second, before he wraps his arms around your waist.
when you feel his grip on you, you hop and wrap both of your legs around his torso so he's carrying you.
namjoon just makes a "hm?" sound as he adjusts his hold on you to make sure you don't slip.
"can we go sit in your chair?"
your softly asked question causes a lightbulb to flicker on over namjoon's head, finally starting to realize what you wanted.
"okay."
he makes his way back to the chair by his computer, and sits down slowly to make sure you can position yourself comfortably.
as you both settle down, a happy sigh leaves your lips, entirely pleased with how you're sitting on his lap and your head buried in his chest just like you had been wanting since you got to his place.
"is this what you wanted?" namjoon's voice is light and affectionate and it only makes you nuzzle further into him as you nod.
he chuckles and runs his fingers through your hair before speaking again.
"you know, you don't have to ask for these kinds of things."
this makes you lift your head up to look at him, happy to find his eyes filled with genuineness.
"i just don't want to make you uncomfortable or bother you or cross a line you know?"
"actually, i don't know. i don't know how you could think that having me hold you would garner a negative reaction from me at all. having you in my arms like this … it's easily one of my favorite things in the world. its not like you could ever bother me anyways."
he's cupping your face now, and you know he can feel your face growing hot from how flustered his words were making you.
"you don't think i'm too, i don't know, clingy?"
he holds your face tighter now.
"no, not really. and even if you are clingy, it honestly makes me happy. i'll say it as many times as you want me to; i love having you close to me."
your smile grew at his response, and he leaned forward to kiss your forehead.
once he pulled back, you rested your head on his chest again, feeling like you were on a cloud, a namjoon shaped cloud even. he filled all of your senses, his scent strong and addicting, his arm around your waist keeping you close to him, the clicking of the mouse in front of him, the soft light of the computer illuminating his face perfectly.
this is how namjoon appears in your life, you think.
a gentle glow to greet you where you go, enough to light up your surroundings but not to blind you;
no matter how hard it could be to make your want for these kinds of things known to him, he always understood.