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THE BOY IS MINE ꔫ - JJK **TEASER**

synopsis: your big sister has a new boyfriend that you can’t wait to try

parings: jk x sister in law!reader

warnings: infidelity, reader is a heavy bitch, she doesn’t care at all, strained relationships, traumatic sibling rivalry, dom!jk, fat cock!jk, sneaking around, exhibitionism, voyeurism, penetrative sex, oral sex (m. and f. receiving), fingering, rough fucking, multiple pousitions, reader’s pussy is an OCEAN

genre: smut, oneshot

word count: 404 (5.4k for full version)

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“hye ill be there, all month. you have nothing to worry about.” he gave her thigh a soft squeeze and flashed his reassuring bunny smile.

“promise?”

“promise.”

jungkook couldn’t be more unaware about what exactly he was promising to. and as he rounded the corner and pulled into the hidden entrance and drove down the dirt road, hyewon grew more anxious and clammy. she felt her heart sink deeper as jungkook pulled into the driveway and parked. once she saw your sunglasses go up she knew she was fucked. skin tight red bikini, slurping on a melting strawberry popsicle, with her boyfriend ogling every curve of your body. she could have shot herself right there.

over the next month hyewon would watch her perfect relationship crumble to dust. if you were going to be trapped here all summer with your insufferable sister the least she could do was share her boyfriend. her first mistake was pulling you aside that night before bed for a talk. you followed her out to the patio and faced her, finally dropping the innocent facade you’re forced to have around others.

“what now hyewon?” you scoffed. “i haven’t seen you in a year and you’re already about to scold me about something?”

you were trying so hard not to laugh at her angry demeanor. “stay away from him. y/n i understand you can’t keep a man but that doesn’t mean you can help yourself to mine.“

you pouted at her, prying her folded arms open and taking her hands in yours. “but hyewonniee~ that’s not fair, we share everything, what would mommy and daddy say to you right now?” you tsked obnoxiously.

she snatched her hands away. “y/n, this isn’t the time to play your sick games. what the fuck don’t you get? i’m not asking you, im fucking telling your twisted ass to leave us alone.”

“come on sis live a little, i promise ill give him back,” she felt like she was going to throw up right into the lake beside you two.

“please y/n…” her voice cracked.

all you could do was give her that fuck ass smile as if you were clueless about every goddamn thing in the world. “i just wanna try him. no need to get fussy.”

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THE BOY IS MINE ꔫ - JJK

synopsis: your big sister has a new boyfriend that you can’t wait to try

parings: jk x sister in law!reader

warnings: infidelity, reader is a heavy bitch, she doesn’t care at all, strained relationships, traumatic sibling rivalry, dom!jk, fat cock!jk, sneaking around, exhibitionism, voyeurism, penetrative sex, oral sex (m. and f. receiving), fingering, rough fucking, multiple positions, reader’s pussy is an OCEAN, all hyewon does is cry, reader is actually evil, jungkook is just as bad, if not worse

genre: smut, oneshot

word count: 5.4k

nothing could have prepared jungkook for the influx of strange events that would take place over the next month. his time starts as it usually does: hyewon, his girlfriend, freaking the fuck out about every interaction he’s had and will have with her family. however, something was different this time. hyewon’s usual dread of embarrassment had shifted into full blown panic and anxiety. he was utterly confused since she had never been this bad. did something happen? he was sure her parents liked him, no? why would they let them date for nearly a year if that was the case?

jungkook had come to know why on the three hour long drive to her parents lake house. after prying he had found out it was you, her baby sister who is supposedly the devil incarnate. “i’m sure this is just a normal sibling rivalry hye, baby, my brother and i are the same way.”

“jungkook,” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “im telling you it’s not the same.”

she excused it when you were kids, but after a certain point of awareness she knew that this wasn’t a silly little rivalry, you hated her. despite you being younger by three years you had always went out of your way to make sure she was miserable. in your childhood years it started out as lying to your parents about her hitting you, or sneaking gum into her hair, breaking her dolls. these little things progressed to stealing her clothes and ruining her makeup products in middle school. once high school came around whatever she did you had to do it ten times better. clothes, shoes, sports, friends, boys. your parents had just seen it as a cute thing between a younger and older sister. little did your parents know that soon your behaviors turned cold with sinister intent, from ruining her friendships, straining her parental relationship, and fucking every single guy she’s ever bought home.

hyewon grew up with the same speech throughout her middle school and teenage years, even now in her 20s.

“she just admires you.”

“you’re her role model.”

“y/n has it all, have you ever thought that you’re the jealous one?”

bullshit.

your parents also weren’t shy about who was the favorite. although the two of you had done nearly every sport and form of hobby together, your awards were hung the highest, your interests were more funded, and you were taken more seriously. they insisted that it was just in her head for so many years, more like they were being heavily manipulated by you. now finally her boyfriend of 11 months was going go meet you in less than an hour to see for himself how fucked up you were.

the boyfriend that she so desperately has tried to keep away for so long. now her time was up.

hyewon was successful with that aspect for a while since you were dorming hours away at college. she successfully avoided holidays, family dinners, special occasions, all for almost a year. while she did limit how much she posted jungkook, she was never too sure with the extent you would go with things and has kept you blocked and hidden from all things him.

she could have avoided it for longer if this hadn’t been your first summer back from school in years and your parents were adamant on having the entire family together. usually you were able to make an excuse on why jungkook couldn’t come, work, family matters, etc. but everyone was to be at your family lake house for a full month, and that included jungkook.

“hye ill be there, all month. you have nothing to worry about.” he gave her thigh a soft squeeze and flashed his reassuring bunny smile.

“promise?”

“promise.”

jungkook couldn’t be more unaware about what exactly he was promising to. and as he rounded the corner and pulled into the hidden entrance and drove down the dirt road, hyewon grew more anxious and clammy. she felt her heart sink deeper as jungkook pulled into the driveway and parked. once she saw your sunglasses go up she knew she was fucked. skin tight red bikini, slurping on a melting strawberry popsicle, with her boyfriend ogling every curve of your body. she could have shot herself right there.

over the next month hyewon would watch her perfect relationship crumble to dust. if you were going to be trapped here all summer with your insufferable sister the least she could do was share her boyfriend. her first mistake was pulling you aside that night before bed for a talk. you followed her out to the patio and faced her, finally dropping the innocent facade you’re forced to have around others.

“what now hyewon?” you scoffed. “i haven’t seen you in a year and you’re already about to scold me about something?”

you were trying so hard not to laugh at her angry demeanor. “stay away from him. y/n i understand you can’t keep a man but that doesn’t mean you can help yourself to mine.“

you pouted at her, prying her folded arms open and taking her hands in yours. “but hyewonniee~ that’s not fair, we share everything, what would mommy and daddy say to you right now?” you tsked obnoxiously.

she snatched her hands away. “y/n, this isn’t the time to play your sick games. what the fuck don’t you get? i’m not asking you, im fucking telling your twisted ass to leave us alone.”

“come on sis live a little, i promise ill give him back,” she felt like she was going to throw up right into the lake beside you two.

“please y/n…” her voice cracked.

all you could do was give her that fuck ass smile as if you were clueless about every goddamn thing in the world. “i just wanna try him, no need to get fussy.”

that night at dinner she kept a close eye on you whenever you were near him. she allowed the small talk and conversations about his family and work, but was steadily getting annoyed when no one had been asking a single thing about what she’d been up to, obviously not you, not your parents, and not even jungkook, in fact her very far gone boyfriend was looking at you as if you had hung the stars and the moon with your bare hands. he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you as explained your college stories and travels. your sister on the other hand had her head down in her phone, earning a scowl from your parents and a few words from her own boyfriend.

“hyewon,” your father cleared his throat. “don’t you think it’s poor manners to not listen to what your sister has to say? she listens to you.”

“right, sorry.” she mumbled, putting her phone down to pick at her food.

“apologies jungkook, they’ve been this way since they were young. just a little squabble here and there.” your mother leaned over the table a squeezed his hand, to that he replied with a smile.

do little squabbles consist of fucking someone’s boyfriends and sending them the tapes of them doing so?

“trust me i understand, my older brother and i are sworn enemies but he’s my entire world.”

you decided to chimed in too. “hyewonnie doesn’t ever think i have anything interesting to say,” you pouted. “actually enough about me, sis how’s your desk job? still letting that old hag of a boss order you around?”

any normal boyfriend would take his girlfriends defense when a backhanded comment was made. instead jungkook, who was seated in between the both of you, pealed his eyes away from you for once and turned to his girlfriend. he was also waiting for her response to that. all eyes were now turned to her. you have her that knowing smirk, a smirk that knew since your lasting meeting a year ago, she had accomplished absolutely nothing but scoring a hot boyfriend. and even that was going to be ripped away from her shortly.

“i’m working on finding a new job.”

“work harder then hyewon, look at your sister.” ah here we go. your father was about to go on his comparison spiel. “y/n is set to graduate early after studying abroad and even has a job lined up for her after school, meanwhile you’ve been stuck at this little start up company for how long?”

“we love you honey, dearly. but it’s time to start being an adult.” your mom had delivered the final blow. hyewon stood up from her seat, fork clinging against the china plate.

“i need to use the restroom.”

no one tried to stop her, instead everyone fell back into a steady stream of conversation. jungkook however couldn’t even bring himself to have another thought other than you. he couldn’t have made his attraction to you more obvious. you were so fucking pretty, he hasn’t seen a being like you. sweet and delicate tone with hints of seduction. he wanted to feel bad for being more attracted to you than he was to your older sister, but fuck. your hair was pulled back into a neat bun and your dress had just reached below your ass. he tried his hardest to not stare for too long, but when you had suddenly dropped your fork and bent over to go get it he was in for quite the treat that couldn’t be passed up.

when you rose from your chair, slick trails followed behind. you hadn’t been wearing underwear and your pussy had been drooling all over the wooden chairs, leaving you with a pool of pussy juice in your seat. your cheeks burned, knowing his eyes were on you and your pretty pussy. he looked between you and your parents, hoping they weren’t seeing your antics so he could bask in it longer. luckily they were immersed in conversation.

“whoopsies, i’m so clumsy sometimes!” you sat down in your seat again, making sure he heard the wet plop! of your ass on the sticky chair. you flashed him flirty smile, once again starting small talk. “so you’re a personal trainer right?”

“mhm i am, you know anything about it?”

“enlighten me.”

“well it’s-“ his face dropped and went bright red at the feeling of your hands on him. your palm had sprawled out on his thigh, inching dangerously close to his hardening cock. “it’s um- it takes a while to um-“

“something the matter?” yes something was the fucking matter. your acrylic covered hand was now covering the growing tent in his pants. his girlfriends baby sister was palming his dick at the dining room table, in front of your fucking parents. “sounds like an easy job, maybe you could train me too, i’m a fast learner, and i haven’t worked out in ages…” your eyes narrowed, tone getting lower and heavier.

“hey we’re going to start cleaning up, you kiddos finished with your food?” your mom started confiscating the plates and dishes as you worked at jungkooks zipper, desperately wanting to get a look at the huge cock you were groping.

“we’re not kids mom, we’re in our early 20s.”

“oh fine fine, when your sister comes back from her mini temper tantrum tell her i put her food in the fridge if she wants to finish it.” once your parents were gone you could finally cut the small talk and get right to the point, except jungkook had halted your actions, removing your hand and holding it in his while you bit back a grin.

“what the fuck is wrong with you? do you know how much this would hurt your sister?”

“so?”

“so? are you out of your mind?”

you rolled your eyes. “oh now you wanna play moral police after you’ve been eye fucking me the entire night and almost came in your pants from my hand alone?” if he really didn’t want it you were going to back off. you pulled away completely and scooted your chair over.

jungkook leaned in closer, pining you against your chair. “you wanna feel up on my dick? go ahead sweetheart, but not at the same fucking table your parents are eating at. hyewon could walk in any second too, you really wanna risk her seeing this? risk her ending this before i get to ruin you?”

oh. oh.

“you wanna ruin me? your girlfriends little sister? you really don’t care about her do you?” your eyes lit up once again.

jungkook looked around, peering around the corners of the house to make sure it was clear before what he did next. lust was fully taken over, any thoughts of hyewon were gone, and it was only a few hours into knowing your little minx ass but he wanted to be consumed by you. his hand went around your neck, gripping it to the point where your circulation was almost severed. “i just wanna try you baby, see if i chose the wrong sister or not. and anyways, whatever hye doesn’t know won’t hurt her right? now c’mere pretty.”

the stars had aligned in that moment for you. you had jungkook right where you wanted him.

however she did. hyewon knew exactly what would happen once she left the table, it was her way of accepting defeat. as hyewon sobbed in the bathroom she knew her sister and boyfriend were exchanging more than holy words and touches. she knew how quick you worked. when it came to ruining everything she loved and desired you were always quick. luckily she couldn’t witness the vile things happening at that dining room table.

“gosh, this fucking pussy,” he landed a slap to your sopping cunt. poor baby was crying down there for some action, clenching that tight hole around nothing and pushing out more and more thick ropes of slick. “damn baby i knew you wanted this dick, but fucking hell.” he couldn’t believe how soaked you were, he knew he’d slip his cock in with ease, nothing like your sister.

“aw kook, you must be so bored with her if you feel this comfortable with playing in my pussy. look at you throwing a year down the drain.” and you couldn’t be happier about it.

“fucking tell me about it. love my baby to death but a man has needs you know?” he took another glance around before unzipping his pants fully this time and placing your hand over his fat cock once again. “hye never knows what to do with it, but i’m sure a slut like you will.”

he tugged his boxers down and you watched his angry member spring up, slapping against his stomach with a mean, red tip that was throbbing for attention. your mouth gaped open at the sight of the pretty thing. lengthy, girthy, veiny, and in need of a tight little pussy gripping around it. “make it quick and i’ll make sure to take good care of you later sweetheart.” he guided you to your knees, sat back, and enjoyed your mouth. all while hyewon sobbed her heart out a few feet away.

later that night after you were coming back from a late night jog, hyewon was ready in the living room for you. she needed to put her foot down for once. every other time was different, but this was her chance to salvage her relationship. once you stepped in the door she stood, to which you didn’t pay her a second glance. “the hell do you want? you’re stalking me now?”

“if you keep trying your luck with jungkook im telling mom and dad.”

you let out a mocking cackle as you made your way to grab a glass of water. “what are we? fucking five? maybe if you knew how to pleasure your boyfriend we wouldn’t be in this situation,”

her mouth went dry. “what?”

“oops… well cats out the bag. when you decided to go be dramatic and cry in the bathroom as if anyone cared, jungkook was very quick to say how much of a bad fuck you were.” you provoked her farther. you were younger, you were shorter, but still you loomed over her, in every aspect, in every way, of every day of your lives. “you always pick the easy ones. the ones who hate you more specifically.”

“jungkook loves me, something you’ll never experience.” she spat.

you grinned, leaning against the counter nonchalantly before breaking her heart in two. “and he’s gonna love this pussy even more. he already loves one of my holes. ask him about it.” you shot her a wink before leaving for bed.

there was still a month to go and as the weeks progressed she watched his eyes linger more as your clothes got tighter. she watched your touches get lower. she watched your hangouts go from the three of you to just you and her boyfriend. she watched how you two would talk for hours then get silent when she entered a room. she watched you press your ass up against him when squeezing around tight spaces. it was only a matter of time before she was phased out completely, but she still wouldn’t go down without a fight. jungkook was the greatest thing to ever happen to her, he was worth fighting for, she felt it, she knew it.

yet obviously he didn’t see her the same. he couldn’t care less about his relationship more than ever now since you had given him the best head of his life. now every night, just like this one, he was nose deep in your cunt, devouring you. jungkook waited until hyewon was sound asleep before he slipped himself into your room in the late hours of the night. thank goodness she picked the ones who were skilled with their tongue, because this was just the stress reliever you needed,

cumming down her boyfriends throat for the third time tonight.

“f-fffuck!” your back arched upwards from the feeling of his tongue dragging down your slit. he simply pushed you back down, using the weight of his hand to keep you there. “too much, ‘s too much koo!” you pulled at his hair roughly, making him groan deliciously. how the fuck did you taste like this? you were becoming his favorite flavor.

“oh yeah too much?” he took two fingers, plunging them inside of your cunt and watching the disappear deeper with every thrust. “so fucking wet for me doll, look at how you’re drenching my fingers.” he kept his voice low while your screams went wild. part of him even hoped your cries awoke your sister. he was so fucked up for wanting this, wanting her to see how good he fucked her pretty little sister. he wanted her to see how he fucked her sister in every way that he would never fuck her. he was sick as hell.

his fingers rammed against your g spot roughly. your mind fogged up, making your words start to come out in nothing but incoherent babbles. your body went limp from the amount of times he had dragged your nut out of you tonight. “c’mon princess, gimme one more, right on my fingers. be a good girl and cum baby, cum.”

“holy shiiiiii- awh fuck fuck, fuck i’m- jungkookk!” you whined with tears streaming down your face. with one more clench of your hole and a few more angry thrusts of his fingers you were soaking your sheets and his face. once jungkook removed his fingers you released everything he was keeping inside. he dove right back into you nose first to catch all of the creamy slick dripping from your hole. you couldn’t handle overstimulation, trying time and time again to get him away from your pussy before you came again.

“stop, stop stop- fucking hell stop!” trying to push him away was useless, you were starting to realize he did this shit for his own pleasure.

once he decided he was finished his meal he pulled back, looking up at your flustered and tear stained face. he smirked to himself when he saw your needy pussy still clenching around nothing. it took time for your body to shake off the after effects of your orgasm, but he stood by and waited for you to come back to earth. “better get back before your sister wakes up, you good mama?” he sucked your essence off of his fingers, making you lick your lips at the action.

“already? one more hour, please?”

“it’s starting to get harder to say no to you.” he laid between your legs, trying his hardest not to accidentally push against your sensitive clit. you admired him from this view, his soft features and the various piercings that graced his lip and ears. he was so goddamn handsome, you felt bad that he had to settle for your basic sister. “what are you thinking?” he chimed.

“nothing much, just about how glad i am hyewon bought you home, it’s like she just knew you were right for me.” fuck, you were twisted.

“you’re going to get me in so much trouble doll, what will your parents think of me if they find out?”

you shrugged. “they could care less. everyone knows she can’t keep a guy.”

“and i’m guessing that’s due to you?” he smirked.

you tried to fight your smile but it was useless. “i wouldn’t say that. it’s just that every guy reconsiders when they see she has a sister.”

that was exactly what was happening here now. jungkooks brain chemistry was being altered to only think of you, to only want you, and the month wasn’t even over yet. the way he had pulled away would be the reason for hyewon’s nagging every night after bed from now on. she garnered argument after argument every night in bed, trying desperately for jungkook to see where this behavior was wrong. he was too far gone by now, getting defensive when hyewon would state the obvious.

“you’re acting fucking crazy!” jungkook fumbled out of the bed angrily, snatching a pillow and extra blanket to take to the couch. “she’s your sister, do you hear yourself?” he yelled, as if you didn’t just have a face full of his cock for dessert under the dining room table two weeks ago, as if he wasn’t knuckles deep in you the night prior. he knew it was wrong, he knew it was disrespectful to do it while staying in the same house as your parents. but fucking hell.

he felt like needed you more after tasting you once. he felt sick for not even being attracted to his girlfriend anymore. he felt disappointed in himself for letting almost a year go down the drain. but you felt better than anything.

“jungkook she’s trying to steal you from me, she’s- do you not see? has she manipulated you that far already?” hyewon was on the verge of tears, lower limp trembling as she stared back at jungkook. he gave her an annoyed look and sighed, getting ready to pull out manipulative tactics of his own.

“i understand you might envy her, she’s younger, she gets along well with your parents, but when you start making shit up out of jealousy it doesn’t look good hye.” what the fuck could you have done to make him so far gone? what the fuck had you been spewing to him?

“do you fucking hear yourself? you’re defending a bitch you’ve known two weeks!” she was losing her mind, truly. “you’ve been so distant kook, you don’t hold me anymore, you barely kiss me, and it all started when we fucking got here! you told me you be on my side for this trip, mine, not hers.” her voice cracked but he still couldn’t find it in him to care.

“until you sort your hissy fit out, i’ll be on the couch.” he shut the door behind him and she could hear shuffling down the steps growing fainter. her head was pounding from all this nonsense. she hadn’t had one normal day since stepping in this lake house. her family was indifferent to her and now another boyfriend of hers was trying to convince her she was crazy. jungkook did a terrible job however, because once she heard your door creak open in the middle of the night, she knew exactly where you were going.

and she followed.

hyewon crept her way down the stairs, careful not to let anyone hear. she could hear jungkook’s raspy voice and your soft giggles, along with a very smacking noises followed after. even though she has witnessed you ruin her relationships time and time again, nothing could prepare her for what she was about to see. when she rounded the corner her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. there you were, on all fours in front of her boyfriend, with your pants pulled over your ass, and a big, heavy dick fucking you into the pillow cushions. her boyfriend, the love of her life, fucking you into the pillow cushions.

her hand flew over her mouth and she bit back tears, watching you and jungkook fuck her over in plain sight. it was over. everything she worked to salvage, it was gone. yet she couldn’t peel her eyes away from the sight. from seeing how much more intimate he was with you. she flinched when he smacked your ass harshly. she needed to stop this, but why couldn’t she? hyewon was frozen in place, forced to watch jungkook give himself to you.

“shiiiiitt- pussy squeezing me baby, control that cunt so i don’t cum quick.” he pulled out, pumping your slick up and down his shaft. you wiggled your ass around, smacking it against his pelvis in desperation. you needed your cunt filled again. “calm down mama, fuck.”

“can’tttt,” you dragged. “hmph. fuck me or i’ll do it myself.” you should have never said that. jungkook pulled you back by your hair, his hand gripping your jaw and forcing you to look at him. your back arched in a painful way and your pussy was leaking on he cushions.

“spoiled fucking brat, think i’m obligated to fill your holes? don’t get this twisted.” he removed his hand from around his cock to smack your tits around, mesmerized with how the perky mounds looked. “making me cheat on my girlfriend, making me fall in love with this pussy. all this is your fault, now get down and throw that shit back.” without warning he slid in. the stretch was painfully addicting.

“koo! you’re so fucking big- nnnnghhh shiitt,” once you were used to the stretch you started to move back on him, when he saw your hand moving to circle your clit he yanked it back. he held it behind your back to ensure you didn’t make the same mistake again. of course your bratty ass couldn’t resist pissing him off even more and tried again. now both of your arms were folded behind you with half your face being smothered in the couch.

“you know- hmph-“ he started saying in between strokes. “one thing about your sister? she knows how to listen. trained her well. guess you need the same don’t you?” you nodded with a bright smile on your face that would soon be wiped. hyewon sobbed softly around the corner, listening to the way jungkook carelessly spoke about her. “fuck, you’re perfect. i wanna see you baby c’mere.” you were flipped on your back now, switching from one position to the other.

when you didn’t think it could get any better, jungkook dragged your legs up to his broad shoulders and he was now face to face with you. you shook your head no repeatedly, something that just provoked him more. his big brown eyes narrowed as he slammed himself into you. “ohhhhh-“ you were so fucking done for. he hit your soft spot repeatedly, abusing your mushy walls with his heavy cock. you tried keeping your whines to a minimum but once jungkook saw a certain someone lurking he wanted to hear more.

jungkook had looked up and made direct eye contact with hyewon, unfaltering eyes burning holes into her skull. he picked up his pace, slamming his hips into you and knocking the breath out of you every time. what a dumb bitch was all he could think. did she really expect him not to indulge in her minx of a sister? she trusted him to keep his composure while you were walking around in little to no clothes? pathetic. jungkook kept stroking you mainly because he knew hyewon wouldn’t do a fucking thing. she would sit right there and take it, just how you were taking him. “look princess, got a visitor.”

your head whipped around, seeing your sister trembling. if you were normal this would hurt you just as much, betraying her in such a foul manner. however, you hated her. you’ve hated her ever since you figured you weren’t the only child. you had been ruining her life forever to guarantee she would get the hint and leave the family. that was why you started targeting her boyfriends, if she kept getting them taken then naturally she would stay away. but she didn’t, and now here we were again, you wished you could say you hated to do this, but she needed to learn. after this you were going to guarantee she’d be far from not only you and your parents, but jungkook too.

“hyewonnie!” a squeal sounded from you. jungkook slowed his pace down. “god he’s so good, i’m so fucking glad you found him big sis,” your hands went up and stroked his round cheeks, running your acrylics over his skin. “after he fills me up with some babies we’re gonna get married and have a nice big wedding that you’ll never set foot on.”

blow after blow. you knew how to make her hurt.

“baby…” he panted on top of you. he buried his face in the crook of your neck and pressed kisses to the sweet spot before mumbling into your skin. “no need to be so harsh, i think she gets it love.”

“i fucking hate you both. you’re nothing to me, this entire family is nothing to me.” she finally spoke.

“mhmm, right there koo, so fucking deep-“ your eyes rolled back and you tuned her out, focusing only on the sensual way you were being fucked. “want you to cum in me, fill my cunt up baby, make me a mama.” something feral snapped in jungkook. as his speed picked up his kisses became rougher, biting up and down your shoulders and your neck to mark you. hyewon watched as you two shared such an intimate moment, hating herself for wishing she was you.

“cum with me doll.” that was all it took for you to release all over his cock. plop! plop! plop! was all that could be heard once he emptied his balls inside of you. jungkook struggled to catch his breath. once he pulled out you both watched the waterfall of cum drip from your fucked out hole. he took his cock in his hand and with the tip, pushed it all back inside. “can’t let that get away now can we?”

that had sent hyewon over the edge truly. she stomped up the stairs and barged into her room, starting to repack her suitcase early. yet she was trapped. jungkook was her ride here. she could ask your parents but it was such a long drive back to where she lived. she was stuck here with the both of you for two more weeks. how was she supposed to explain this to her friends, her co workers, everyone who thought jungkook would be her final. this was the icing on the cake that made her despise you. any love she had was far gone now. she sobbed and sobbed while listening to yours and jungkooks shared giggles, hearing him run you a shower and talk the night away.

once jungkook was asleep in your bed, you stood in her door way, basking at how much of a wreck she was. she didn’t need to look up to feel your presence. “what now? what y/n? you’ve done enough and after this consider me gone from all of your lives.”

“you’re so dramatic oh god. you’re acting like i didn’t warn you.” you welcomed yourself into her room. “think i might keep him around, i actually like him. thank you sis.” your hands went over your heart.

she backed up farther onto her bed. “stay away from me you evil fuck.”

“hyewonnie, i told you from the moment i saw him, the boy is mine.”

masterlist

THE ROOMMATE ꔫ - JJK

synopsis: your hot roommate brings out the dirtiest side of you

parings: roommate!jk x pervy!roommate!reader

warnings: mature language and content, spying, solo masturbation, lewd thoughts, slight jealously, underwear stealing, abnormal behavior (on both parts) mentions of pillow humping, wet dreams, fantasies, etc.

genre: smut, drabble

word count: 660

a/n: quick little one shot as a thank you for all the love you’ve been showing me, i promise to keep writing the filthiest works for you guys <3

pervy!roommate!reader who has jungkook completely fooled. he thinks his cute housemate is so innocent. what he doesn’t know is that you’re a deranged slut that’s been yearning for him since you’ve laid eyes on him.

pervy!roommate!reader who’s attraction to jungkook starts off as something sane. your behavior progresses into stuffing your pussy to the thought of him, stealing his used boxers and trotting around in them when he’s not home, and staining the same pillows he lays his head on with your sticky cum.

pervy!roommate!reader who goes brain dead whenever jungkook is speaking to her. whether it’s about your half of the rent or what groceries you want him to go get, the only thing you can think about his having his dick down your throat.

pervy!roommate!reader who wakes up with her panties clinging to her pussy from the wet dreams she has about jungkook, desperately wishing to make the images of getting destroyed by him into a reality. every morning is a constant routine of rubbing your sensitive clit, hoping he’s listening to your soft cries for him on the other side.

pervy!roommate!reader who feels like she hits the jackpot when she catches jungkook fisting his huge cock in his room. the door is cracked open just the right amount to where she can spy. it’s so wrong to invade his privacy, she has time to walk away, to shut his door even. instead she feels her fingers creeping up to cup her breast, rolling it around while her teeth sink into her bottom lip. this could be her moment, her chance to finally relieve his dick that looks like it’ll burst any second if it doesn’t have a cunt squeezing around it. instead she falls back, rubbing one out while watching him before going back to bed.

pervy!roommate!reader who’s visibly upset every time jungkook brings a girl over, dramatically slamming her bedroom door and making noises around the apartment to disturb him and his company. suddenly she needs jungkook for every little issue she has which causes his little hookup to dip out on him. he’d be more upset if his roommate wasn’t enough eye candy for him to get off to alone. either way he’s satisfied.

pervy!roommate!reader who’s scent on jungkooks pillows doesn’t go unnoticed. he’s breathing you in every night in the spot where he lays his head. your aromas make his dick stand up, aching and hurting from neglect. he could call someone over, he has girls lined up and waiting for him. yet the only thing that sounds satisfying is his pretty little roommate. he thinks he’s going crazy when he hears your small pants and moans of his name with the wet, sloppy sounds of your cunt following after.

pervy!roommate!reader who’s panties start going missing and popping up with globs of white substances in them and notices her roommate avoiding her more often. jungkook is suddenly too busy to hang out and too busy to have dinner with you. jungkook starts getting risky, leaving his door open while pumping his cock. he only does it when you’re not home, just in hopes that you’d walk in and drop to your knees when you saw him struggling to cum without your touch.

pervy!roommate!reader who’s nerves are running rampant at her and jungkooks game of cat and mouse. when he sends her a “we need to talk” text various scenarios and thoughts begin to go through her head. yet nothing could prepare her for jungkook’s distressed expression as she sits in front of him on the sofa and he runs a tired hand over his face while hovering over her. her eyes widen, watching the bulge in his pants grow to an inhuman size. and she sure as hell wasn’t prepared for his next proposal, something she thought she’d never hear from him.

“doll, as much as i love licking your slick off my pillows how about you use my cock from now on? yeah?”

masterlist

most recent work

kinky hours masterlist

all drabbles are 18+. for adults, by adults, about adults. all are for f.readers!

I just half-assed some of the titles lol. Nevertheless, I hope you guys can now locate and read your favorite drabbles easier! Enjoy! 

Jungkook 

he finds out that you’re a Little/daddy!jk

cumming inside you without protection/creampie kink

eating you out with whipped cream

dom!jk/dirty talk/window sex

reader squirts and jungkook’s “give me more”

atgggth™ jk/eating pussy/whiny reader

jk fucks you while standing

spitting in mouth/overwhelmed reader

dom!jk/bratty reader

crybaby!jk/anal play with sub reader/ddlg 

jungkook finding your moans adorable

softdom!jk/rainy ambience/dirty talk/cuddling 

chubby reader/rough sex/praise

horny jk comes home while you’re cooking

crybaby™ jk/reader wearing cat ears and tail

riding jk’s thigh while spooning

overstimulation/clit torture/squirting

dom!jk pinning you down as he fucks you

daddy jk and his corruption kink

soft jk but reader wants it harder, hmmppp >:(

clit overstim/tied to the bed

hard dom jk/rough sex/jk fucks reader ‘inhumanly fast’…haha

passionate sex/lotus position

jk fucks reader gently and deeply™

ddlg/first time riding dom!jk/praise

blowjob while on the phone/punishment/degradration/jk meanie 

hard dom!jk/humiliation/subspace/big dick jk haha

reader does jk’s makeup as she rides his cock

daddy!jk/small reader/praise kink/size kink/wearing his baggy shirt

daddy!jk is handcuffed to the bed by babygirl  

dom!jk is jealous so he gives you hickeys

slapping/spitting in reader’s mouth/degradation/rough/choking

jk catches reader humping her pillow with his jumper on

punk jk fucks reader on her parents’ bed

crybaby™ jk and his love for eating pussy/spitting/descriptive

thigh riding/degradation/choking/spanking/hair pulling/whatever

overstimulation/reader tells jk to stop but he doesn’t listen

cockwarming/”move and i’ll take my fucking cock out of you”

punishing you in front of the members/degradation

dom jk fucks you mercilessly in front of a mirror/rough

having your first time with dom!jk

jk comes home to reader fucking herself/punishment/size kink/daddy

fucking you roughly while the members are around

dom jk/cocky jungkook energy/slow down by chase atlantic/descriptive

cockwarming :D

punishing you after you came without his permission

reader says she’s ‘too heavy’ but jk proves her wrong/against the wall

jungkook trying his spanking kink out on you

holding your thighs while he eats your cunt

dom!jk manhandles reader/virgin kink

tae walking in on you riding jungkook’s thigh

crybaby™ jk/reader got her nipples pierced/descriptive

Taehyung 

lactation kink/slight mommy kink

pushing your head against a pillow bc you’re too loud

sweet hot tub sex

taehyung uses his ties to play with you

reader cheats on jk while fucking taehyung

mutual masturbation but ends up fucking anyway lol

ddlg taehyung/size kink

bad boy™ taehyung teachers reader how to blow

the start of bad boy™ tae x young reader ;)

movie date with a remote control vibrator/dirty talk

dom!tae/nipple play/hand kink

tae fucks you while you’re asleep/spooning

ddlg/tae is jealous of you spending your time with other guys

cockwarming while he’s gaming

soft dom!tae/praise kink

bratty reader/rough/pissed from all the dating rumors

tae makes you wear a ball gag

taehyung fucks you in a pool

getting heated with tae in the pool

ceo!taehyung/secret relationship/some spanking

fucking you sensually while Singularity plays in the background

tae x reader x namjoon/impreg kink/who can get her pregnant first

tae walking in on you riding jungkook’s thigh

Jimin 

cockwarming with jimin while he works out

jimin releasing his pent-up stress on you

sub!jimin x sub! reader x dom!namjoon

softdom!jimin/swallowing his spit/praise kink

poly dom!jimin x dom!yoongi x sub!reader

truth or dare/bts taunting jimin that he can’t make his gf cum

softdom!jimin/cocky/reader says he’s the biggest she’s ever had

softdom!jimin/readers sits on his lap and he bounces her up and down

dom!jimin/use of vibrator/edging/denial/squirting

jimin and his corruption kink/small!reader

jimin makes you sit on his face for being bratty

Hoseok 

werewolf hoseok in heat/mentions of impreg/slight blood mentions

tattooed hobi x curvy reader/praise kink/loving degradation

daddy hoseok/trying to get his attention while he’s on the phone

softdom!hobi/fucking you in front of the practice room’s mirror

masochistic hobi punishing reader

Namjoon 

dom!namjoon x sub!reader x dom!yoongi/spitting kink/spanking

daddy namjoon fucks you while you’re both high/marijuana intake

namjoon spits in your mouth/wall fucking

sub!jimin x sub! reader x dom!namjoon

namjoon and creampie… yum

namjoon punishing reader/overstim/degradation

softdom!namjoon/size kink!!

daddy!joon babies reader to be intimate with him 

edging with joonie and his babygirl

sucking him off while he’s on vlive

servant namjoon x princess reader/bending her over the desk

tae x reader x namjoon/impreg kink/who can get her pregnant first

Yoongi

innocent s/o never masturbated before/virgin reader/size kink

dom!yoongi x sub!reader x dom!namjoon/spitting kink/spanking

breeding kink/pregnancy kink

poly dom!jimin x dom!yoongi x sub!reader

hard dom yoongi

hand kink omfg

dom!yoongi/bondage/using a dildo on you

yoongi shows off his tongue technology/cunnilingus 

reader wears vibrating panties in public

Seokjin 

teasing seokjin until he snaps/big cock seokjin agenda

dry humping/cumming in his pants

daddy seokjin takes care of you after weeks of not having sex

asking jin if he can choke you

belated love letter - k.nj.

genre: angst (2.5k)

summary: a love letter that he’s been writing only gets delivered, because namjoon has a lot to say even after you’ve broken up.

a/n: i made myself cry with this one.

masterlist

namjoon, a person who seemingly has answers to everything, never got the answer as to why you both drifted off.

did you both grow out of love? no, it was evident in the quivering lips and glassy eyes when you saw each other for the last time that love indeed still persisted between you two.

did you grow out of each other? no, namjoon still strongly believes that you’re the most fascinating person he’s met and he remembers how you found his mind to be the brightest of them all.

maybe the love became too much at some point. maybe love just wasn’t enough.

he’ll never know.

but something went wrong.

and it went wrong very quickly, so quickly that namjoon couldn’t even give you the one thing he promised you he would.

a love letter.

“you know, for a world-renowned lyricist, and as that lyricist’s girlfriend, i’ve never gotten a letter from you” you teased him one rainy day and he remembers the breathless chuckle that left his lips.

“do you want one?” he fiddled with your fingers that were held in his hand.

“a letter from the kim namjoon? there’s nothing else i want more” and even as the sky crackled behind the windows, and rain continuously beat them, you both could only look at each other. you looked at each other like ‘damn the rest of the world, i only have eyes for you’.

and that’s when namjoon decided that he was going to write you a letter alright, he was going to write you the best letter ever.

namjoon stared blankly at the words scribbled on the page, frowning every so often, his words were, to put it in one way, powerful. he didn’t know he was capable of feeling such strong emotions but he did know that you brought out the best in him. and the best of him was spilled on this one page that was still half empty.

namjoon felt just as empty.

he wasn’t near breaking down or crying himself to sleep, but namjoon wasn’t happy, he couldn’t deny this hollowness in his chest that’s been lingering for days now and he doesn’t need anyone else to tell him that it was because of you, he knows it. namjoon knows it all except, like mentioned before, why you both ended it but it was an unwritten realization, that it was for the best.

another thing namjoon doesn’t know is why he grabs his favorite pen, the pen he uses to write his famous lyrics, he got a new one for the album they’re working on now and starts filling in the empty space, almost feeling like he was filling himself with the emotions that he misses so dearly.

namjoon was going to give you that letter.

even if you might not want it anymore.

-

it’s been almost a year since you’ve seen namjoon and it felt like time was cruel enough to make that year feel like an eternity. it both felt like just yesterday that you and namjoon were visiting museums together and also like forever since you’ve both cuddled in whenever the weather got worse.

and you don’t know if it was good or bad that you still remember everything.

you remember how he carefully used to handle things that belonged to you because he knew you cherished them, he still broke a few but it’s the effort that counts, how you used to nap in his studio whenever it got too long and always woke up with a blanket wrapped around you, how you both used to skip around parks and also the time namjoon taught you how to finally ride a bike.

you stupidly remember it all.

you were quite sure namjoon had forgotten about you and moved on because you were just a chapter in his story that still had a long way to go. you didn’t blame him, you were trying to forget him as well, it’s just he was probably successful in forgetting you and you weren’t as successful as you’d like to be.

but to your surprise, you came home to a letter in your mailbox. you never get letters, so this left you more than a little curious as you turned the dainty lilac-colored envelope in your hand to reveal an all too familiar handwriting scribbled on top.

‘from: kim namjoon’

you expected a lot of things from namjoon but none of them came close to the letter that you held in your hand. and you couldn’t help the way your heart seemed to skip a beat only to shatter on the ground a minute later. it dawned on you that it could be a goodbye letter, and you hated goodbyes. but namjoon had never liked loose ends, he liked his endings to make just as sense as the beginnings, so you probably shouldn’t have been too surprised that he sent it.

you slowly set down your belongings and walked into your house, placing the letter on table, staring at it for a little, wondering if opening it will only hurt you more or not.

but did you even care if it will hurt?

all you’ve been this year, is hurt.

all you’ve felt this year, is hurt.

so, what’s one more letter? and he bothered enough to send it all the way to where you’ve moved. so yeah, you will read it. you could feel goosebumps rising on your skin as your fingers lightly grazed the paper, admiring his handwriting, namjoon has always had such beautiful writing.

you hastily tore open the envelope and turned it upside down, a single piece of paper, which was neatly folded fell out on the ground, you sat down next to it and with shaky fingers, you started reading the words of the man you used to love, you still love, so much.

to the love of my life, (you still are)

9/10/19

today, with beaming eyes and a happy smile on your face, you jokingly asked me for a letter and who am i to deny you? even with the breaking sky above us, you managed to make me feel like the lightest cloud floating in it and with that, i start this letter, a bare heart and with a hope that my pen doesn’t run out and also that you won’t find it, this is my little surprise to you. i will write it, day-by-day, on days i especially thank the world for giving me you so i hope as the girlfriend of world-renowned lyricist kim namjoon, that you find this satisfactory.

i love you.

19/10/19

i came back to this paper after promising that i will wait for a bit to finish it but you have me breaking all of the promises i’ve made for myself, one of them being don’t fall in love until you’re ready and i was never ready for you and the stars you’ve aligned for us.

but i’m still in love, and i don’t mind it at all.

you woke me up just in time for me to make it to work and because i was in such a hurry, you took over the one duty that i have, breakfast.

at first, i felt guilty that even if you were rushing to get to work, you still didn’t get mad at me for not waking up earlier, you just gave me a sleepy grin when i thanked you. and then i tried looking at it in a more positive light, you work hard for yourself and me and i’m grateful.

i’m grateful to you, even if it is something as simple as breakfast, i’m grateful. and i will start waking up earlier, i want to do more for you.

i love you.

11/11/19

today, we went to pottery together!

and we didn’t manage to make anything and it wasn’t a surprise to either of us because our pots broke even before they could get toasted in the oven. it was just us, a private class in the middle of a forest and there was a mild drizzle of rain from the sky. and now as i write this, i realize whenever it rains, i fall more in love with you, the idea of you and everything about you.

i decided to write again today because it was a wonderful day, we laughed a lot and we smeared a lot of clay on our face and you had the nerve to call my pot a masterpiece.

y/n, as much as i appreciate your kind soul, my pot literally looked like shit.

and you laughing right after you said that it was a masterpiece, kind of gave away the fact that you didn’t mean it.

but i’ll let it go because you looked cute. you always look cute.

and oh look, you’re calling me for dinner, i will come back to this again.

i love you.

22/1/20

you weren’t yourself today but that’s okay, we all have our days, it did hurt when you didn’t let me hug you but again, i understand. you had a difficult day and i wish i could take all your pain away, all your troubles, i wish i could burn them to the ground and not even let the ashes remain.

but i can’t do that.

i can only watch you lie to me that you aren’t crying, that you are okay.

i hope you know that you don’t have to lie, never to me.

i can see the tears on your face, i’m sorry i’m not strong enough to come and wipe them away, i’m scared that you’ll only go further away from me. and to me, you’re lost today. i hope you find your way back to me. i will wait with open arms.

i love you.

22/2/20

love is as deep as a sea, i remember reading that in a book. and i didn’t fully realize the meaning till i met you.

everything has made sense since i’ve met you. and it’s true, love is like a sea, i keep discovering new things about it every day, i keep discovering all these habits of yours, i’ve started speaking in the way you do and even the members have noticed, they haven’t stopped teasing me since this afternoon, even right now, they’re hovering around me and trying to read this letter but don’t worry, i have it out of their view, this is only our little secret.

you came to the studio, you brought all of us food and drinks with that grin on your face that i love so much, the members immediately bounced to you and that is when i saw how perfectly fit in my life, from my view, you, and the members, are my family. and my family is so lovely.

what did i ever do in my life to have all of you in it?

okay jungkook’s getting nosy, let me stop here.

i love you.

16/4/21

so, it really is over.

i don’t have it in me to say it’s okay or it’s all right.

because it’s not.

i’ve never been a good liar, i couldn’t hide about how i felt about you then and i can’t do it now.

y/n, i’m exhausted, your face used to be the first thing i saw every day when i woke up and somehow, even on the worst days, that was enough for me to pull through because i could fall asleep next to it.

i can’t do that anymore, and even if it’s been a year, it’s just sinking in for me now.

but i’m dealing. i feel empty but i am not totally miserable. the members don’t say it but they miss you too, they keep looking at me sadly but they’re also cheering me up, don’t worry about them or me too much.

i’m sending you this because i couldn’t keep a promise even if i tried when we were together so i want to make up for it, i’m keeping this one promise, i hope it’s worth it.

sad to say this, but my pen did run out, this is a new pen, it’s a little gritty but it works, and i don’t know why i’m telling you this but the pen i started the letter with lasted just as long as we did, so now, i see that as our hourglass, i just wish it hadn’t run out so quickly. i hope i got to say i love you to you one last time before it ran out. it’s all useless now anyway.

but even if it hurts, even if i haven’t moved on, i’m happy.

i’m happy i got to know someone with a mind as beautiful as yours.

i’m happy i spent my days loving you. because loving you is bigger than any award i’ll hold.

i hope you look back at us with fondness and not regret.

and i hope you move on and someone else loves you, maybe love you better than i did because you deserve it, you deserve all the good in the world. i’m sorry i couldn’t give it to you.

but remember me, yeah?

i love you. i will always love you.

the end,

from your world-renowned-lyricist kim namjoon.

the letter has smudged ink near the end, from both his and your tears and you desperately re-read the letter again, like you were grasping to any pieces that were left of you two. it slightly crumbles from how tight your grip was on it.

and this isn’t the story in which you run after him to get back with him after you read this, you don’t go knocking on his door waiting for him to answer and then finally fall into his arms to end your pain and his.

no, this is the story in which you clutch the cream-colored paper to your heart and silently cry your eyes out because the worst realization of reaching the end of it was, both that it was the last words that you’ll ever hear from namjoon and also that no one would love you like he did.

he will remain as that one beautiful chapter in your story that you’ll go back to visit every now and then, only to cry at the ending.

and you feel a bitter gratefulness that you got to experience a part of your life with him so you don’t mind that it hurts, you’ll kiss this chapter a sweet goodbye.

but you have your own loose ends; you have your own feelings that need to be spilled. you feel like you will explode if you don’t close this chapter in your story. you might just never finish moving on to the next one if you don’t. you too, have a lot to say even if you two are over.

so, you grab a pen, hover over your desk with a faint dangling light above you, a small smile dances on your lips and you start writing to him,

a belated love letter.

i believe - k.nj.

genre: fluff, angst (10k)

summary: who would’ve known that the boy on the blue bicycle would change the way you view life and save you from yourself? (fools!universe)

warning: mentions of depression and anxiety.

masterlist       series masterlist

seoul.

this place that looked so bright and full of life, made you feel like the loneliest person in the world.

seoul.

a place where everyone seemed to know everyone and no one at the same time, this maze of a place is what you would call home for the next year and so.

being a transfer student was hard enough on its own, being an introverted art transfer student was even harder. all the friends who came with you had already found home in the people around them and in the places they chose to live in but you were stuck here, in this admittedly beautiful apartment, but even as beautiful as it was, you didn’t have anyone to fill the silence in the air around you.

your friends were good people though, they knew how hard it would be for you to adjust which is why they constantly spent time with you but you have urged them to not bother with that anymore, they’re in a new place with a treasure box full of memories and fun to unbox and you are no one to hold them back.

and loneliness isn’t an unfamiliar feeling, so you don’t feel too down about it.

but you do wish that you had someone to open your treasure box with, someone who sits beside you as you unpack the stories you would tell in the future, someone who would be the main character in your stories, the one who knows everything about you, someone who listens to the dreams you whisper into the night.

you had simple dreams.

your dream was to escape the cage you put yourself in.

and you’ll get there, your hope is flickering and exhausted but it exists, it urges you to breath everyday even if it’s hard, even if you want to run away and never talk to anyone again, your tiny light of hope that you’ll reach your dream, is what keeps you alive.

besides, seoul has too many pretty café’s, bakery’s, and skylines for you to give up here, you would rather give up in a place where everything is mundane and monotone, kind of like your home before you came here.

your hands lay limp beside you as you take a break from molding your sculpture, the clay drying on your hand feels uncomfortable, the night keeps getting colder as midnight strikes, and you feel tired in all aspects but that isn’t a valid excuse to the world, and it is especially a lousy excuse to your teacher who will grade this assignment in a few months from now.

you have just a few months to finish this intricate design of a woman falling down, you’re half-way done with her head but your mind doesn’t let you imagine what a descent would look like, a descent of a spectacular woman like the one you’ve made deserves to be show-stopping and you can’t come up with it.

what made you think that being an art major student would be a good idea?

you are clearly not cut out for it and the consolation and peace you used to feel every time your hands moved to create something is largely absent from your recent works, you feel like you can’t do anything right these days.

you are so cruel to yourself, even when the world is enough cruel to you, you press yourself to feel more pain, to hurt yourself a little more and you feel utterly useless in this large world filled with talented people.

art used to be your thing, it used to make you feel like a blooming flower during spring, it used to make you feel like you’re having the wildest party all in your head and it broke your heart into many more pieces when you didn’t feel that rush of emotions anymore.

you loudly sigh and check the time; it’s a little past midnight and you can only guarantee your safety if you start leaving now considering you want to take a ride to han river before you head home as well. you arrange your supplies in the right order and wave goodbye to the unfinished sculpture, grabbing your bicycle and then you’re gone in the wind.

the world doesn’t seem as cruel with breeze flying through your hair and your hands tightly wound on the bicycle you’ve rented for the time being, it was cheaper and you needed a way of transport in this expensive city, and you don’t like buses even if they’re more accessible, you prefer your lilac bike.

han river is one place that feels like home in this cold city, it’s the one place you will let yourself get lost in, you screech your cycle to a stop and step off the bike, there’s not a lot of people in sight, a few couples here and there, some people walking their dog and then your bench. well, it’s not your bench but whenever you’re here, it’s always empty and you just claimed it as yours but this time, it’s not.

you squint your eyes as you walk your bike to the bench, the usually empty bench seems to be occupied by a tall man, who doesn’t seem to notice anything around him, his cap is lowered just enough to cover his eyes and his stature is slightly slouched over, you only notice a notebook on his lap once you get close enough.

“is there anything i can help you with?” a gentle but deep voice breaks your train of thoughts and that is when you realize you’re staring at him, you panic and quickly bow in apology, palms already sweaty at having to come up with an excuse.

“i-i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare, this bench is usually empty which i was confused that’s all, enjoy your night” you bow again in apology, eyes squeezing shut, you want to run away and never come back, even your safe place has an embarrassing memory attached to it now.

“no no it’s okay” he lightly chuckles and you feel grateful to the kind stranger.

“if you want, there’s place for one more” he pats the empty space next to him and finally lifts his head, with his cap no longer getting in your way, you almost gasp at how handsome the man is, his eyes especially, you don’t think you’ve seen more beautiful eyes in your life.

“i don’t want to intrude, really it’s okay” you nervously say, hands squeezing the handles of your bike tighter.

“you’re not intruding, technically this is public property so you can do what you want.” he shrugs.

he’s not wrong. and his voice is awfully soothing to the ear so yeah, maybe you’ll take that seat.

you rest your bike against the tree beside it, noticing another bike resting against it and sheepishly sit down next to the man with the blue bike and comforting voice. you lean back with a sigh of relief, still a little stiff because you’re sitting next to a stranger but you don’t feel as uncomfortable as you usually do around new people.

you like that.

you like not freezing every time someone unfamiliar talks to you.

“my name’s kim namjoon, by the way” he lifts his hand with a huge smile and your eyes admire the deep dimples on his cheek, he looks friendly and awfully too nice.

too nice.

“y/n” your cheeks are already flushed and you manage to only whisper your name as you shake his hand, his hand feels warm and welcome.

“so, y/n, which university do you go to, assuming that you are still a student?” you’re surprised that he is trying to make conversation with you but you find yourself not minding it at all.

“still a student and this university” you lift your phone to show him the university on your phone and his eyes spark with recognition. it isn’t good to show strangers which university you go to but namjoon looks harmless, you just hope he’s as harmless as he seems.

“we go to the same university” he smiles at you and you bite your lip, you’ve never seen him around.

“do we? what do you major in?” you slip your phone into your pocket and look at him.

the moonlight looks especially stunning on him.

“it’s pretty boring, business and history” he sheepishly scratches the back of his head and you shake your head immediately.

“everything feels boring after a while, i’m sure you’ll find something special in those subjects too” you wish you could say the same to yourself but you’re not sure if your love for art will ever be reborn again. you don’t notice namjoon’s fond eyes looking at you as you worry about yourself.

“what course do you take?”

“art” you answer shyly.

“that’s so cool” and usually, whenever you tell people that you’re an art major, you see a constant wariness in their eyes, judging you, judging your future and they proceed to ask questions about how you’ll build yourself from scratch. questions like that scared you.

namjoon doesn’t say anything but a simple compliment, simple but sincere and that’s really all you need. you smile at him, sincerely for the first time in months.

“you come here often?” it keeps surprising you that he continues the conversation but you’re grateful that he does, you have no way to continue it yourself.

“not a lot of other places to go to when you’re a broke college student.” namjoon chuckles at your dull tone and you find that you like that, you like making him laugh like he is right now.

“you’re right, seoul is as expensive as it can get.” his tone is whiny and…cute? everything about namjoon is cute as far as you can tell.

“tell me about it, can’t buy a decent cup of coffee without having to sell my kidney.” he laughs once again and at the sound of his laughter, a familiar bloom of happiness starts slowly in your body too. and you grin at him.

“well i bear good news for you, dear broke college student, i happen to be the owner of a bakery near the campus, it’s called ‘joonie,’ don’t question the name please, and you’re welcome anytime, i promise to give a hefty discount.” his voice is teasing and filled with playfulness which makes you giggle, his eyes widen at your loud giggle, before they disappear because of his huge smile.

“not for free?” you decide to tease him back and he throws a glare at you, though a smile stays dancing on his lips.

“i will be the broke college student then” you laugh breathlessly into the chilly night and you feel free. you don’t feel your cage around you, even if it was just for that moment or two.

and you know that’s it all because of the man with the blue bike sitting right next to you.

maybe, just maybe, seoul isn’t as lonely of a place as you thought it would be.

-

that night, you fell asleep with a warm feeling trapped in your body, namjoon insisted to walk you, and even with all the sirens of stranger danger, you let him, it was a lovely walk, you made each other laugh as the night grew colder and right at your door, he gave you a smile you would remember forever, that’s how special it felt to you.

now, that you’re alone again, you don’t feel as warm and fuzzy anymore, you are cold as ice like any other day.

you don’t know why you are, the way you are but you are. you exist, fading in and out of reality, but you exist. and you have responsibilities, you have teachers back home to make proud, you have a family waiting for your calls, you have assignments to finish, you have a life that you can’t just resign from.

your hands drip with wet clay as you focus on finishing the head of your falling lady, you feel your approaching sadness over the emotions you miss, your hands carefully press and smooth on her face, you don’t want to mess her up and you need your scholarship if you want to stay or continue in seoul. but you still feel hollow, devoid of the capability to feel anything.

you lean back on the uncomfortable wooden stool which digs into your skin from time to time, you can’t even reach for your phone with how messy your hands are and you groan, desperately trying to get your head back into it.

“can’t focus?” you hear the same, deep voice and you immediately snap your head at the entrance of the studio room to see namjoon leaning on the doorframe, he had a nervous smile on his face with slightly widened eyes and you immediately felt bashful under his careful gaze.

“it’s nothing new” you say honestly and he hums, walking into the room and sitting on the other side of your table.

“i hope you don’t think is creepy, you told me you were in the art department and i was going to head home, but the light was turned on here so i assumed there would be a chance of you being here, and i just wanted to check, i swear it sounds creepy but it’s n-“ you cut his nervous rambling with a small chuckle, waving your hand to dismiss his worries.

“it’s alright, really” you reassure him and he sighs in relief.

“i’m not here to distract you though, you can keep working, i’ll leave.” he gives you a smile and gets ready to leave but you don’t want him to go.

“no, stay.” you say and immediately feel a blush creep over your face when he shrugs happily and sits back down.

“i could use a distraction right now, is what i meant” you try to cover you but you know that namjoon doesn’t buy that excuse, he just nods with a playful roll of his eyes.

“in that case, can i take you somewhere?” and you don’t say no.

-

in namjoon’s poorly lit bakery, which apparently runs 24/7, you feel good sitting opposite to him and you don’t mind the open environment because there’s barely anyone here.

“you were doing a sculpture when i came in, right?” you nod, fingers curling around the coffee cup in front of you.

“the idea is to make it a falling woman.”

“i can’t imagine that being easy.” namjoon tilts his head with a small frown.

“you’re right, it’s not. which is why i’m struggling with it” you smile tightly, your mind once again invading you with your inability to finish it.

“it’s not easy but i’m sure you can do it.” he reassures you and as much as you want to believe it, you don’t have it in you.

“right” you mumble with a strained smile and namjoon picks up on your sour mood.

“it’s hard to focus sometimes, burnouts are very natural especially if it’s a creative process like yours, so take it easy, work as hard as you can when you’re motivated, and take breaks when you don’t feel motivated” you just stare at him with your mouth agape, because no one’s tried to comfort you like this and you don’t even know namjoon all that well.

“thank you, like seriously thank you” you are grateful to him, his words did give you a small push, to continue your assignment.

“you don’t have to thank me, just be sure to show me when you’re done with it, yeah?” he smiles at you and you nod happily, you decide right then that he’ll be the first person you show because you really don’t know anyone else in this city.

“enough about me, tell me about you.”

“i like writing songs.” you widen your eyes in excitement and urge him to continue, at your enthusiastic reaction, he lets out a little laugh and rubs the back of his neck.

“me and my friends, we recently rented a studio, the goal is to be a producing group together, we’re pretty solid” he explains and your respect and admiration for him grows ten-fold.

you want to ask him to listen to one of his works but you’re not sure if you’re there yet.

“one day, maybe if we keep meeting like this, you can listen to something by me.”  he suggests and you’re delighted that he says it himself.

“one day” you smile gleefully at him and he smiles right back.

you may not like seoul just yet, but you like namjoon.

you like namjoon a lot.

-

you don’t stop meeting namjoon, whether it be at your art studio when he visits you late at night, and it feels so delicate with no one else but you two. or whether you meeting him during his shift in the library and then walking to the bakery and staying there till it gets too late.

you enjoy his company; you enjoy making him laugh and knowing more about him.

and you only hope that he enjoys it just as much as you do.

you really, really hope that he does.

“you look cute when you concentrate” you suddenly hear namjoon’s voice as your hands smooth over your woman’s cheeks, your movements pause on the sculpture, looking at him with widened eyes and he simply grins at you, you snap your head back and start running your hands on her face, ignoring the butterflies in your chest.

“oh right, the other day, you asked me when i would let you listen to my music?” you immediately abandon your sculpture to lean towards him with an eager smile on your face and namjoon chuckles bashfully at your reaction.

one thing that you both constantly talked about was his music, since you got to know about it, your curiosity was endless, and namjoon was more than happy to feed your thoughts, telling you everything from his inspiration to write lyrics to where he gets his equipment and why he writes the lyrics he does.

“well, today’s the day if you want to go” you don’t even answer him, shuffling out of your seat and putting your sculpture, and namjoon watches with amusement as you hurriedly arrange everything and run around to finish as quickly as you can.

“let’s go” you gasp breathlessly as you come back to him while stuffing your arms into your cardigan and namjoon gestures you to calm down with the same amused smile.

“i’m calm, now take me” you whine as you grab his hand, dragging him out of your studio.

-

you both are giggling all the way up to his studio, namjoon either tickling you whenever you talk too much or you mess up his hair by pulling his hoodie on his head over and over again, you’re nothing but all smiles as you reach the room. the lights are already on and you hear light noise coming from the inside, namjoon looks over at you and then places his hand on the door.

“i guess, you’re also meeting my friends today” he smiles at you and you freeze, and just as you’re about to grab his hand and run back to your studio, he pushes the door open and pulls you in with him.

you are met with three pairs of unfamiliar eyes who immediately look up at the intrusive sound and the new person in the room. you instinctively move behind namjoon a little, but then he’s tutting at you and pulling you gently in front of him, all while the four pair of eyes never leave your intertwined fingers.

your feet stop moving as you only look at the ground, letting namjoon start the conversation.

“everyone, meet y/n, she’s my…friend” he breathes out and you don’t lift your head, just nodding in acknowledgement. you hear people shuffle around before a hand comes into your vision, you look up to see a man with a bright smile on his face.

“name’s hoseok, nice to meet you” you slowly shake his hand as he keeps smiling at you, you feel yourself smile back at him involuntarily. someone pushes hoseok out of the way and even as he turns to curse at them, another hand extends itself towards you.

“hello, i’m taehyung” he doesn’t wait for you to take his hand but eagerly reaches for it and shakes it roughly, making you giggle at his frantic actions, and then one more hand takes his place.

“yoongi, good to meet you” he offers you a small smile and you smile back at him.

“this isn’t everyone by the way, just the half” and you’re glad because your social battery isn’t charged for more people.

“now, i came here to show y/n something so, everyone out” namjoon points to the door with his thumb and everyone except you starts whining and complaining but they do start to gather their things, hoseok leaves first but not without telling you that you should hang out one day and yoongi does the same, taehyung pauses at the door before turning with a smirk.

“you’re kicking us to kiss y/n, right?” he teases and you choke on your own breath, namjoon also blushes and looks away before pushing the boy out.

“sorry about that” he scratches the back of his neck and you wave your hand to dismiss his worries, shyly pushing your hair back.

“okay, let’s do this” he claps his hands, sitting in front of a large monitor, you sit right beside him, leaning over to see him clicking over many files to find the song he wanted to play for you.

he looks at you with a nervous smile and you nudge him to press play already and when he does, you don’t think about anything but the sound that surrounds you.

it’s an alternating beat, flowing between a softer to a harsher beat, the lyrics and namjoon’s voice engulfing you, telling you story about an ending, a bye which isn’t pleasent, and it makes you tear up, because the feeling that you missed with your art slowly spreads in your chest, covering inches of you in miniscule crawls but just the return of those feelings makes you want to break down on the floor in happiness.

you listen with awe written all over your face and namjoon doesn’t disturb you, doesn’t ask you how it is, just lets you feel his words in peace.

at the end of the song, he doesn’t even ask you if you like the song or not, he simply smiles at your teary eyes and wipes a few tears that stopped on the apples of your cheeks.

“sometimes, i’m afraid” he quietly says, the music long fading into background and now, it’s only him that matters.

“afraid of what?”

“that i won’t go somewhere with this” he gestures to the equipment and lyric sheets messily thrown on the desk, the tension is heavy in the room with namjoon’s dull mood, and you take his hand in yours.

“you made me feel something that i never thought i would feel again, i was so scared that i lost the part of me that could feel but that one song revived me, and if that happened with me, i’m sure your music will resonate to a lot of others too, and you don’t have to go somewhere with this, you’re already there as long as you love what you’re doing.”  you tell the words you wished someone would say to you, because namjoon, out of anyone else you knew, deserved to hear those words.

he’s grateful for your words as he takes your hand in his and presses a gentle kiss on it. your smile is wider than it’s ever been and you know that it’s only because of him. and with that kiss, you also know that it’s not just you who is falling.

“thank you” he mutters, cupping your hands gently in his.

“you can thank me by playing more songs” you cheekily say and namjoon lifts his hands in surrender with a low chuckle, already looking for more songs to play for you, but now, it’s less about showing you his work and more about seeing that look on your face as you completely get lost in the song.

that’s how you spend the night, you end up in full blown tears at some point, and namjoon laughs as he keeps wiping them with his sweater and you don’t want the night to end, you don’t want to stop crying around namjoon because you get too into your feels about the song, you don’t him to stop wiping your tears away because it’s him, and any moment with him, laughter or sobs, feels right.

how are you ever supposed to tell him that you have to leave?

-

you stir lightly in your slumber, being unable to stretch as much as you want to and with an annoyed groan, you open your eyes to meet..a chest?

yeah, that’s someone’s chest, you’re very sure it is.

you snap your head up even in your half sleepy state to see namjoon still blissfully in dream land.

then you look at your surroundings, you never left the studio last night and right now, you’re all cuddled up to namjoon and the warmth around you two is a good change from the weather outside.

you don’t mind this, you don’t mind this at all.

you lazily smile before snuggling closer and trying to fall asleep again, but then you hear noises, voices to be more exact and it’s coming from right outside the door, you internally panic but don’t have the energy to try and move.

you hear the creak of the door opening, and squeeze your eyes shut, hoping that whoever it is, just goes away and leaves you until you can run out. the voices immediately pause, and you know that they’re looking at you.

“no way” someone chuckles in disbelief and if you remember right, the voice belongs to taehyung. you feel namjoon move in his sleep and expect him to get up abruptly to explain to his friends whatever this was. but just like you, he doesn’t move.

“what are you doing here so early?” he groans, cradling your face deeper into his chest and you feel a rosy blush erupting in your cheeks at his low voice and the new closer proximity.

“it’s saturday, namjoon” hoseok answers.

“i get that but can you leave till she gets up and goes back? i don’t want her to be uncomfortable when she wakes up.” your heart warms at how considerate he is of you and stifle your laugh when they playfully complain to namjoon, loud enough to whine but low enough to not disturb you, they still think you’re asleep.

“the things we do for young love” yoongi dramatically mutters.

“you better buy us a round of drinks later, hyung” you hear taehyung complain but you also hear a smile in his complaint, like he actually doesn’t mind at all.

“yeah yeah, now get out.”

“so bossy” hoseok mutters one last time before the door closes and you deeply exhale in relief.

“you can open your eyes now, they’re gone” namjoon brushes your hair away from your face and you squirm in his arms, darting your eyes up as you look at him, you feel totally in bliss in his arms with sunlight shining on you two.

am i suffocating you?

do i make you happy like you make me?

am i hurting you, because i’ve done that before?

how will i leave you behind?

like a response to all your questions, namjoon places a soft kiss on your forehead before his lips trail all across your face, delicately drawing patterns on your face and then his lips pause at yours.

but you don’t back away like you expected yourself to and he doesn’t either, only holds you tighter.

-

the smile on your face doesn’t budge as you finish your falling lady’s head, it’s finally done, and you’re honestly in love with her, you’re in love with everything about her face, from her eyelashes that are startled open, lips slightly parted, eyebrows raised in an elegant way and her face contorted in a peaceful shock. even when falling, she’s supposed to be the most graceful woman. and she looks like it too.

you feel at peace, not as jittery as you used to be, you still get the occasional sinking feeling of fear and disappointment but you don’t let it take over you like it used to.

even your hands covered with clay don’t feel uncomfortable, they don’t feel suffocating, they feel freeing, you’re slowly re-discovering love, both for art and in people. and you know why you feel better than you have in years.

the door to the art studio swings open and you barely recognize namjoon who stumbles in through.

you also understand why love is addictive.

“do you need help with that?” you get up from your stool when you see namjoon carrying a huge stack of books in his arms. you hear a groan in reply and stifle a laugh as you wipe your hands on your apron and take half the stack from him, placing them on your desk with a huff.

“why are you carrying these around?” you ask as he sits down opposite to you.

“new books, i need to write their titles down in this register” he lifts a large, rectangular book from the desk with a look of dread on his face.

“you couldn’t do that in the library? carrying all of these books back will be exhausting.”

“i just wanted to spend time with you” he nervously chuckles and you feel your cheeks warm up.

“then you did a good thing” you smile at him and both of you work silently, you continue to start the body of your lady and namjoon scribbles through many of those books.

you know you have to tell him, that your time here, that your time with him is limited and you know he deserves to know before both of you get too deep into this to get out.

“joon, there’s something you need to know” you stop drawing your pieces and he stops writing as well, putting his pen down to give you his undivided attention.

“i’m listening.” as confident as he sounds, you know that he’s nervous, it’s written all over his face.

“you know that i’m a transfer student, right?”

“right, and your course lasts for 2-3 years?” he looks so hopeful, you want to take back every word you’ve said so far and just let him believe that.

but you can’t do that anymore.

“no, it doesn’t” you look away from him and he frowns.

“does it last for longer then?” you hate this. you really hate this.

“i’m staying here only for a couple more months, like 4-5 now.” you purse your lips and stay silent as you wait for his reaction, he doesn’t say anything either, his frown gets deeper and you almost feel like you’re betraying him. which you are.

“i’m sorry, i just need a minute” he gets up from his seat and your eyes nervously follow his movement.

“of course, take your time” you mumble as he exits the art studio and you feel your heart sinking as soon as the door shuts close and you’re all alone again.

the motivation you had when you first started the night of sculpting, left your body as soon as the sound of the door clicking shut filled the air, your shoulders slump and your hands lay limp by your side, and before you know it, tears slide down your cheeks as you purse your lips.

you had just stopped getting used to being lonely but now that the feeling comes rushing back to you, you hate it.

-

you don’t hear from namjoon for the next two days and you’re left tossing right and left in your bed and trying to ignore the tears that stain your pillows.

you should’ve told him sooner, you should’ve let him know that even if you had time, it wouldn’t be much, but maybe he thought it was better to leave you while he could.

it’s not like it hurt any less for you though, because you really did like namjoon, you might even love him if you could convince yourself that you were capable of love, you have never felt the way with anyone else but namjoon, that feeling of just teetering over the edge before you completely get lost in him.

every time your phone buzzes, your heart leaps in your throat and you hurriedly grab it but it’s never him.

you lazily structure the body of your sculpture, messing up frequently and with each mistake, you feel more annoyed, not only with yourself, but with the world, for filling your life with warmth only to leave it chilling cold like it always has been.

and one more mistake later, you throw the arm of your lady on the ground, frowning at it with a groan escaping your throat.

you’re not handling this well.

then you remember namjoon’s words, take breaks when you aren’t motivated and give it your all when you are. you feel anything but motivated so you decide to take a ride down han river for an hour and come back to your sculpture.

you warily eye the door to your art studio, you won’t tell anyone but you’ve been secretly hoping for a certain someone to burst through the door clumsily with fumbling steps and words, and you’re left dejected every time it turns out to be anyone but him.

your lilac bike is the only thing in the world that shows you mercy, the only thing that gives you the freedom to let go and you’re grateful that you chose it and not some stuffy train or bus.

you hastily throw your bike to rest on the tree adjacent to your bench and soak in the cold wind that surrounds you, no one but a few people with pets pass in front of you and even with the grey skies showing signs of a heavy rain, and the wind that chills your bones, you have never felt more at peace in these past two days than right now.

maybe you should just start getting used to being lonely again.

it’s not that bad, at least not on this bench and bike you’ve grown so fond of.

“as much as i love seeing you here, i was trying to ignore you” you hear from behind you and you don’t turn around, you know that it’s namjoon, and you’re not sure if he’s being as serious as he sounds.

“i can leave” you mumble, getting up from the bench.

“no, stay.” he appears in front of you and sits you back down before settling beside you.

“it was stupid of me to think that i could forget you simply by ignoring you, especially when i don’t want to forget.” he doesn’t sound like he’s talking to you, more talking to himself but you still listen, with your heart caught in your throat and your palms unusually sweaty even in this cold weather.

“what are you trying to say?” you sound annoyed and you are slightly, because he keeps mumbling to himself and you don’t want to get your hopes high just for him to leave you on this bench.

“i’m saying that, i don’t care if our time is limited”.

there it is, hope.

with soaring hope in your chest and eyes, you finally look at him for the first time since he’s come here.

“i don’t care because we’ll just make the most out of our time, i want to know all of you before you leave me, it’s dangerous to say that i don’t care even if it hurts, but i don’t have it in me to be scared of that right now, i’m only scared of losing you while you’re still here.” you are at a loss of words as namjoon spills his feelings on you, and the hope that soared through your chest reaches the sky when you process what he says.

but how hurt will you be at the end?

you’ve been hurt before; you can handle it. at least you think you can.

because how could you ever say no to namjoon when he’s offering you a key to the treasure of memories you’ve always wanted to open?

“now, i understand why you write songs” is the only thing you can say with your choked up voice and teary eyes, and namjoon, like always, is there to wipe your tears away.

“i’ll keep writing if you listen to them, wherever you are.”

-

with each day that you spend with namjoon, it gets harder to part ways at the end, whether it be right at the front of your door or at the studio, saying goodbye, even for a few hours, felt painful and it was evident that namjoon felt the same way too.

the grip on your hand tightens as leaves fall around you two, you’re back near han river and namjoon is busy writing lyrics in front of you while you sketch away anything that comes to your mind. you don’t feel as frantic about your sculpture now that you’ve finished the outline of her body, you’re going somewhere with it and you couldn’t be happier.

“what do you think of this?” one thing you love about sitting by namjoon as he writes his lyrics, is how he constantly reaches out to you for your opinion, you feel very special that your opinion matters to him.

you take the notebook from his hands and glance over the lyrics, it’s just as tear-jerking but eye-opening as all of his songs are, you hand it back to him with a grin on your face and that’s how he knows that you love it.

“i wanted to ask you this, how did you feel when i didn’t talk to you for those few days?” the question is sudden but you’re not caught off guard, you knew it was only a matter of time before it would come up.

“lonely, just lonely.” was your honest answer.

“how did being lonely feel?” he asks as he continues scribbling on his notebook.

“familiar but not that bad” you know that your answer is straight forward enough to jerk namjoon’s scribbles to a pause. he looks guilty as he raises his head to you and you are taken aback when he takes your hand in his and rubs circles on the back of it.

“now that i’m here, you never have to get used to or settle for ‘not that bad’, okay?”

“okay.” you smile at him and he smiles back, you feel content, happy even that you could find someone here, that you found namjoon here.

-

as weeks go by, both you and namjoon get busier, him with a deadline for a demo and you with your sculpture, it’s only a matter of two months before you have to send it for evaluation and even as you are finishing your sculpture, your heart is beating a million times faster, both out of excitement and fear.

your lady looks like every bit of the royalty that she is, at least so far, the cloth that drapes along her body and flies in the air, looks delicate, soft to touch, easy to break, and you couldn’t be prouder about it.

you hear your phone ring and a large smile takes over your face when you see who’s calling.

“hey, i missed you” namjoon can hear the pout in your voice as you speak and he internally coos.

“you don’t have to anymore, i’m outside your studio, i was hoping to take you somewhere since we haven’t seen each other for a few days now.”

“you’re outside?” you glance out the window to see namjoon waiting in a car, he waves his hand when he catches you looking.

you look like crap right now.

“okay, give me a minute or five..” you trail off and cut the call before he can object.

you run from your studio to the washroom with your makeup bag, frantically powdering your oily face and touching up your faded lipstick, you swiped your hands across your hair and pray internally that it won’t poof up. and once you look half-decent, you pat your cheeks roughly and run back to the studio, shoving your makeup bag into a desk and grabbing your usual bag before running out the door.

“are you okay? you look a little out of breath” he asks as you slide into the car, while desperately trying to catch your breath, you hurriedly nod, pulling your seatbelt on.

“okay” he laughs and starts the car.

a calm conversation flows between you two as namjoon drives you to whatever mystery place he wants to take you and you couldn’t feel more at peace with your windows down, making your hair the mess you were afraid it would be but you didn’t care, with namjoon right next to you, nothing else seemed to matter and it didn’t, no one has mattered to you the way namjoon has.

the sun has almost set and you excitedly take pictures of the ever-changing colors of the sky and show them to namjoon who marvels over them with you.

you could get used to this.

you could totally get used to this.

namjoon stops his car right at a small lake, with trees all around you and you can’t hear the loud city or traffic anymore at all, it’s just you, him, rippling water and fresh air. you shiver as you get down the car with namjoon, tugging your jacket closer.

“normally, it would be ideal if it was summer right now but we can’t wait for that” namjoon tells you as he pushes his jacket off his body and you widen your eyes at him.

“you’re crazy, don’t tell me that we’re getting close to that” you point to the lake with quivering lips and namjoon shrugs, removing his boots and wincing at the cold ground.

“this is a bad idea; we will be sick for days.” you shake your head, refusing to let go of your jacket and namjoon laughs at your worried face as he pushes his jeans up.

“and after that, we will be fine. so, shall we?” namjoon reasons and extends his hand towards you, and all your worries about being sick, about probably catching a nasty cold for weeks that could hinder your work, fly away. you sigh in defeat and unwillingly push your jacket away, already cursing everything out and namjoon is having the time of his life, watching you struggle.

“don’t you think taking our clothes off would be better? we will just have wet clothes at the end of this” you grumble as you take your shoes off.

“if you want to take your clothes off, i don’t mind” comes namjoon’s cheeky reply and you pick your jacket from the hood of his car and throw it on his grinning face.

“you know that i didn’t mean it like that” you flush red, both because of the weather and other reasons that namjoon is very aware of.

“of course, come on now, it’s worse just standing here.” and before you fully prepare yourself, namjoon pulls you with him to the edge of the lake, dipping his toe in and shivering, encouraging you to do the same but you know that if you did that, you will be running back to the car.

so, with a smirk, you take your hand from namjoon and push him in, giggling when he screams and the splashing water lands around you, he comes back up, completely drenched as you double over in laughter, he shakes his head at you, ruffling his hair out and before you realize, he’s at the shore, leaning against it with his arms crossed and watching you with a small smile.

“are you going to leave me alone here?” he pouts at you.

“maybe” you tease him and then he’s jumping out of the water, coming towards you with a determined look on his face and you struggle to keep your eyes on his face because his clothes are literally transparent right now. and before you know it, you’re pushed into the water followed closely by namjoon who jumps in next to you.

you gasp for air as you come up, the cold water freezing your nerves but you’re laughing, you’re laughing out of the pure joy and adrenaline that flows through you and namjoon’s laughing with you.

and you don’t think you have been this happy in your life, in your whole entire life, being frozen to your bones is the happiest moment. you start to splash water on namjoon who retaliates by scooping up water and throwing it right on your face.

just when you’re about to start kicking water on him, his arms wrap around you, forehead pressing against yours with a sigh and you stop moving.

“i don’t want to leave this place.” he whispers to you, even with the cold weather, his breath is hot and his body heat is warming you slowly.

in this cold world, both figuratively and physically, namjoon made you feel like the warmest sunlight.

i don’t want to leave you, are the words right at the tip of your tongue.

“we’ll die if we don’t get out soon” you joke instead and namjoon laughs, pulling away to cup your face in his hands, fingers smoothing over your face and your eyes flutter close at the gentle action.

“is there really no way i can make you stay?” you want to cry at how sincere and desperate he sounds.

“no, but you can make my stay worthwhile like you are doing right now” your answer is honest but you’re just as desperate as he is, you don’t want to go home where you have nothing but a monotonous, color-less life but you have no choice.

how can you say goodbye to this face that made the cruel world warmer in every sense?

as a tear escapes your eye, namjoon doesn’t wipe it away like he usually does, he curls his fingers around your cheek and pulls you closer until you can feel all of him, and this time, he kisses your tears away, slowly, like he has all the time in the world and your hands curl around his arms, gripping him like he will go away if you don’t hold him tight enough all while the water flows steadily around you.

he pulls away with a grin and you smile back almost instantly.

namjoon has always thought that people were more capable of hurting than loving but looking at you, shining under the stars and smiling at him like he’s the only person in the world, he believes people are just as capable of loving as they are of hurting.

“i have wanted to do that for so long now” he mutters.

“why didn’t you?”

“it didn’t feel right until now.”

“was it okay..for you?” he asks with pursed lips and you giggle at his nervous expression.

“i don’t think i’ve felt more alive in my whole life.” he beams at your answer, patting your head making you giggle again.

“well, we can just keep doing that then” he exclaims cheerfully and you cheer with him, already reaching for his face.

and again, it’s just you, him and the flowing water that freezes your bones.

with namjoon, seoul doesn’t feel lonely.

not at all.

-

you are the most dressed up you’ve ever been since you’ve come to seoul, with a simple fitting black dress, minimal jewelry and strappy heels, you feel confident standing next to your falling lady which lays vertically on the ground.

you are finally done with her, all of her, her elegant face, her sheer clothes that fly in the air as she falls, her hands grabbing onto open air, she looks desperate to be saved but she looks beautiful even on the ground.

and you’re proud, for the first time in ages, you feel like you have created something that can truly convey what you feel.

bliss, is the only thing you feel even with your sculpture that’s done and ready to present to your teachers and other enthusiasts, but your attention is divided as you keep checking the door to see if namjoon will bust in because you really want him the first person to see it.

“here, joon, here!” you wave your hand frantically in the full studio to try and catch namjoon’s attention who just enters through the door, he locates you in the room and quickly makes his way over to you.

the first thing he does is give you a warm hug and pushes a bouquet of delicate flowers into your hands, grinning proudly at you, he looks so proud and he hasn’t even seen the sculpture.

“you ready?” you call out excitedly, circling around your sculpture which lays under a thin blanket. namjoon shifts on his feet with a huge smile on his face.

“just remember, me showing you this is like you playing your music for me” you inform him.

“i know i will love it either way” he shrugs and you pause from lifting the cloth, narrowing your eyes at him.

“how are you so sure?”

“it’s something you poured your heart into, so i will love it” he answers sincerely and you feel flustered with his compliment, you cough awkwardly and lift the cloth off your lady.

for a few seconds, namjoon doesn’t say anything or change his expression, he circles your lady silently with observant eyes and you shift on your feet, your lips feel dry and you feel nervous all over, because his opinion matters most to you in this city, maybe even in this world.

“it’s you” he mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear.

“what do you mean?”

“you made yourself” he concludes and you blink at him, not knowing what to say.

“she’s beautiful even when she’s falling, even when she’s alone” he starts walking while he talks and stops right in front of you.

“just like you, you’re beautiful, however you are, you are the most beautiful.” you swallow the knot in your throat, no one has ever called you beautiful the way namjoon has.

“i don’t know what to say.”

“then don’t say anything, that’s alright” he lets out a breathy chuckle at your red cheeks.

“you know you don’t have to flatter me, i already like you” you tease and he shrugs.

“doesn’t hurt to get you to like me even more, right?” he winks at you and you playfully roll your eyes.

“but as much as i love you, that wasn’t my attempt to flatter you at all, you are just that good of an artist, and you are also the muse for my lyrics these days” he shyly admits the last part and you feel everything you have wanted to feel since day one of entering seoul.

namjoon truly did open your treasure of memories, and god, it will be so hard to leave him behind.

and he understood what you felt when you created her, you felt just as desperate, just as helpless as she did when you created her but you have handled it with as much grace as you could, namjoon was probably the only person who saw that.

“she is you, and i love her, like i love you.”

-

your presentation goes swimmingly, your teacher loved it, she took many pictures of it to show your potential to her superiors so they can extend your scholarship, and she did mention that the sculpture will be presented in a main art event. so that was definitely a win for you. your intrusive thoughts bother you from time to time, but they don’t hurt you as much as they used to, you don’t know if you have gotten stronger or your thoughts have gotten weaker, but you know that you’re better than you were just a few months ago.

your scholarship did not get extended, you expected that. your piece was good but some were just better, you didn’t beat yourself up like you thought you would, namjoon didn’t let you anyway.

speaking of namjoon, he’s all you have thought of now that your presentation is over, because he’s literally with you every day, putting aside his work to try and spend the last, few days with you, properly.

you’re currently sitting on the hood of his car, on top of a mountain that overlooks the city, he is stood in between your legs, feeding ice cream and listening intently to you as you keep rambling about how trust is so fickle.

“the thing is, if we’re wary of someone or a habit of theirs, it’s very easy to lose trust the second they mess up even the slightest, even if it isn’t fair to them, i just think that’s how people are.”

“you’re right, trust is very rare, you can’t say you trust someone easily, because trust is built on not time, not the relationship, but the people involved” he pauses to feed you and continues.

“i will always trust you though” you cheekily interrupt and he laughs.

“and i will always trust you.” he concludes and feeds you one last spoon while you smile gleefully at him. but then he sighs, stepping back from you and shaking his head lightly and you frown at his dejected stance.

“what is it, joon?”

“our time is almost up” he says with a sad smile and your heart tightens in your chest at his words, you know that your time is almost up, you’ve been trying to ignore that fact for so long now but you only have a day or so left with namjoon.

“before i leave” you scoot closer to him, breath stuttering at the close proximity you share with him as he eagerly waits for you to speak.

“i want you to take all of me” you have never felt as vulnerable as you do, whispering those words to namjoon under the moonlight that shines over you.

“you sure about that?” even with his eyes blown and throat closing around nothing, namjoon needs your permission to claim you.

“never been more sure about anything else in my life” you give him the permission he wants and who is he to say no to you?

-

waking up next to namjoon, in his room, wearing his t-shirt is something you wish you could do every single day but you’re out of time, you have been for a while.

“i don’t want you to leave” is the first thing namjoon says to you in the morning.

“i don’t want to leave you” is your answer, you’re no longer hesitant to say it. he gazes at you with such intensity because he really can’t believe he has to lose you just when he’s had all of you.

“how can i ever say goodbye to you?” he pulls you into him, burying his face into your neck and his sheets shift around you, it takes everything in you to not cling onto him for eternity.

“it’s okay, we had time” you mumble helplessly once you pull away from him.

“not a lot but we had time” you reassure him and this time, he’s the one who gets teary eyed. you feel your heart break at the way his face reddens as he keeps himself from crying.

“we’ll be okay” you whisper, wiping his tears as they escape his eyes, and hug him again, letting him cry into your shoulder, you feel your own sobs caught in your throat as namjoon cries on you.

“i’m sorry it had to be this way. i’m sorry i can’t stay.” you apologize with tears finally escaping your eyes and neither of you have the energy to wipe each other’s tears anymore, you only can cry and hope that time will be kind enough to stretch itself to keep you two together.

“i’m sorry i can’t come with you” comes his own apology.

“thank you for loving me, all of me” as he says that you break down in sobs because how will you ever find someone who loves you, truly loves you? you learned love with namjoon, you’re also learning goodbyes with him, but love was so easy, why were goodbyes so hard?

“thank you for being letting me be your muse.” you brush his cheeks with your fingers, trying to remember every feature of his before you have to let go. and he does the same, with sleepy but cautious eyes, he traces all of your features over and over again, like he’s forcing his body to keep you in his mind forever.

“is this really goodbye?” he asks one last time even if he knows the answer.

“i wish it wasn’t.”

-

it’s been six months since you left.

namjoon feels empty as he arranges the cups in his bakery, he sighs too often for it to be normal because every time he moves, his body reminds him of you, everything about you is etched onto every inch of him and he doesn’t think he will ever move on.

he still circles around the art studio from time to time, pathetically hoping to catch a glance of you working hard on your sculpture, looking up at him with a smile and then crashing into him to become one. he still visits han river just to recall every memory you’ve ever shared.

but he can’t bring himself to go to the lake, the lake where he kissed you like he’s always wanted to, he can’t go there knowing you will not be going with him.

he misses you. every nerve in him screams for you. his friends have been trying to get him to move on but namjoon doesn’t want to move on.

“welc-“ namjoon starts his formal greeting when he hears the door creak open, only for his mouth to hang open when he sees who is at the entrance, he races from behind the counter to rush to the entrance with wide eyes and confused but overjoyed grin.

“it’s actually you, oh my god” he whispers breathlessly as he reaches to touch your cheek and you smile tearfully at him. every night of hoping that you will be back in his arms feels worthwhile when you wrap yourself around him with a happy sigh. he caresses your hair, still not fully registering that you’re actually with him right now.

“so, what happened wa-“ you begin to explain why you’re back in the lively city of seoul and namjoon gently shushes you.

“doesn’t matter, you’re here, that’s all i care about” and with that, you melt yourself back into him, your fingers tracing patterns on his sweater, you missed him so much.

“we need to go to the lake again, i miss freezing with you” he jokes lightly but you know the desperation behind his words, he must have been waiting so long to take you.

“i am ready to freeze my bones with you again” you giggle and he pats your head with a fond smile.

“how long will you stay this time?” namjoon asks, and you notice fear in his voice, you lean back to give him your biggest smile yet. he has nothing to be scared of anymore and you don’t either.

“forever.”

come closer, come closer - k.nj.

genre: fluff, angst (8.7k) (slowburn! sliceoflife!)

summary: nothing in your life is permanent, you would never let anything be permanent, but namjoon nestles his way in and refuses to leave, will you let him stay or would he remain something temporary? or a fic in which a friends-with-benefits situation with namjoon gets twisted out of control. (colors!universe)

note: all of the stories in the series can be read individually <3

masterpost series masterlist

-

fate used to amuse you, the concept of people, the many people, their many stories, their many love stories, some that made sense to you, some that seemed like absolute madness, but all of them stories you sat and listened to, you sat and read about because stories to you, were a window to what life could be.

and your life changed when namjoon entered it. it seemed like too much of the world aligned so that you would fall for him, it seemed like madness, and it made perfect sense.

everything that happened after meeting him, was truly out of your hands.

-

it was an off day at work. you hummed as you breezed past the shelves of books surrounding you, nothing brought you more peace than this.

today, your mission was to find a particular book.

at the end of the matinee by keiichiro hirano.

the book was about two people, close to their forties in age, who fall in love, but with the caution, wariness, and desperation that comes with that age. one of them was a world-renowned ‘genius’ guitarist whereas the other was a trauma journalist, their universes couldn’t be more different but seemed to align just for them. when you had heard about it, you knew immediately you had to read it, it was this concept of love that you had never explored before.

your eyes darted to every title as quickly as they could, but you could feel yourself getting impatient as you passed by more shelves, none of them had the book you wanted.

the front desk lady lied when she reassured you that it was in row 3, you were in row 15 now and it was nowhere to be found.

a deep irritation settled under your skin as you cursed the skies and stars for doing this to you, you continued your grumbling as you sat down with a huff at a table. of course, two good things, a day off and the book you so desperately wanted, wouldn’t happen all at once to you. rarely, one good thing happened to you in a day so, this was nothing new.

but still, you were so invested in the world of that book, that you wanted to dive into that world and never float back up because a love so tender, at an age where everything feels the same and your skin sheds its youth, fascinated you.

and today, you won’t get to dive in, you won’t get to be lost in a world that didn’t belong to you.

“excuse me, that’s my seat.” a hush of a voice filled your ears. you immediately removed yourself from the seat and moved a seat up, scrolling on your phone aimlessly.

maybe you will find another book.

maybe there is another world that you could live in, for now.

then, it hits you.

the scent of something soft, a cloud, a pillow. the scent wraps around you, taking you with its softness. you know that scent.

you peek up to see a man next to you. he was wearing a baby blue sweatshirt, matching sweatpants, a baseball cap, and a mask.

the softness that distracted you.

and in his hands, he held the book that you were wishing the gods above and below for.

you know those hands.

he was the one who took your precious book before you did?

you didn’t own it by any means but that didn’t mean you weren’t highly frustrated that it ended up in his hands, of everyone else.

“you.” you said, as calmly as you could.

namjoon bites back a grin at the frustration in your voice. “yes?”

“you know i’ve been looking for this namjoon, this isn’t fair.” you bark out, leaning forward to grab the book from him but he just holds it above himself, knowing you won’t be able to reach it. you sink back into your seat with a frown on your face and namjoon sighs.

he’s never had a problem telling someone no, in fact, he’s enjoyed turning down some overly excited people but when it came to you, denying you of something just wasn’t possible for him, even if it was as a joke.

the book plopped in front of you and your frown immediately melted, and you grabbed it into your arms, namjoon rolled his eyes with a fond smile growing on his face.

“give it to me when you come over someday.”

your relationship with namjoon was hard to describe, you were sort-of friends, sort-of friends who had read books together, sort-of friends who hung out without saying a word, and sort-of friends who occasionally had sex.

it all started when a mutual friend introduced you to him at a horrid party that you hated being at, namjoon hated it too and he made that clear, so you decided to spend your time doing something else.

and soon, it became a regular occurrence and it was working well, you two understood what the other wanted and had no qualms about giving it to them.

namjoon pulled out his book as well and you peeked at it curiously.

lovers in the night by mieko kawakami.

strange.

you added that book to your to-read list yesterday.

“you can just ask to see it if you want, you know?” he tuts at you teasingly, watching your eyes dart towards his book, you scoff at him and sink into your seat.

then, there was silence, only the sound of pages turning and both of your breaths coming out in the space. you liked that, you never had to talk to namjoon to be present with him and so far, this arrangement worked perfectly for you.

but you caught yourself peeking in his direction again, this time, it wasn’t his book, it was him, the way he sat, the way he turned the pages sharply, the way his breath came out slow and you had no excuse for your curiosity.

“tonight, your place?” his question came casually and you nodded as soon as the words left him.

you couldn’t help but think that you had agreed too quickly.

-

“i don’t understand the point of this movie” you say to namjoon, lying across his chest and your body shakes with his as a low laugh tumbles out of him. he has come to be extremely fond of your quick irritation to things.

“you read so much romance, i thought you would’ve gotten it by now” he sips his wine and you feel the urge to tip it over his white sweatshirt, just for his sarcastic tone. namjoon sees the glare on your face and feels the strangest satisfaction wash over him.  

“don’t make me pour the bottle on you.” you eye the bottle that was near your feet and he promptly reaches out to put it near him with a tut which makes you giggle.

chungking express wasn’t your usual movie.

there was no rosy romance filled with confessions and promises.

there were just stolen glances, just hoping that someone else wouldn’t take them, just the characters in a world that changed too quickly, just memories that never faded.

it both fascinated and confused you.

why did love have to be so confusing?

if two people liked each other, was it so hard to just say the words and be together?

why did anything else matter?

he notices your confusion, the deep frown on your face is a dead giveaway, and namjoon, shamefully admits to himself, that he finds it cute.

“i can hear your mind all the way here” namjoon taps your temple and you shift to sit with a groan. “i just don’t understand what’s so hard.”

he already wanted to pull you back on his chest but he clears his throat instead.

“please fill me in.”

“if she likes him, why didn’t she just tell him?” you point to the character who was now staring adoringly at her lover, this was just one out of the many times that they’d met and she was yet to make a move.

namjoon stares at the character, all of the words she wants to say die inside of her but her eyes stay alive with the love she holds for her object of admiration.

“i guess it’s not so easy.”

“what is not easy about just saying the words?” you rolled your eyes.

namjoon’s answer is quick, maybe too quick, “i don’t know, giving someone a piece of your most vulnerable form is scary, there is always fear in affection.”

he leaned back uncomfortably after saying it, not knowing if he should’ve said anything at all.

but to you, something about the way namjoon spoke, always put you in a daze. you never heard someone talk the way he did and you weren’t supposed to like the way he talked. “you sound like the wise tortoise from kung fu panda.” you snicker at him instead of blurting out that his words warmed your heart.

in a world where affection and love were dying, namjoon gave a more comforting reason as to why it was dying, maybe it wasn’t the factual reason, but it helped you feel better anyway.

he scrunches his eyebrows and scoffs at you, “he’s my favorite character so, fuck you.” you laugh at his annoyed face and throw your legs over his feet, he adjusts himself and you sink into the side of his arm. namjoon could feel his body wanting you closer but he resisted, he held his arm above you and over the sofa and shoved his desires in deep.

the movie was long, you didn’t particularly like it, and you never understood why people had such a hard time figuring out their feelings but namjoon didn’t have to know. and as soon as the movie ended, he got up to leave.

“you can pick the movie next time,” he says as he puts on his shoes, looking up at you with a knowing grin. “i liked it!” you tried to save your face, following him to the main door.

well, he liked that you were at least pretending to not completely hate it, for his sake.

namjoon turns to you with a quirked eyebrow, finding it all so amusing, and before he can stop himself, he steps closer and places a single kiss on your forehead and just as quickly, steps away.

that wasn’t supposed to happen.

he doesn’t know what came over him.

“i saw you yawn five times in ten minutes, we’ll watch kung fu panda next time.” he snickered with an uneasy feeling settled in his stomach and rushed out the door, to make sure he didn’t do anything again.

and you stand, shell-shocked.

that was not a big deal.

a kiss on the forehead.

not a big deal at all.

it was not a big deal that your hands were clenched by your sides.

it was not a big deal that your cheeks stayed burning hot.

it was not a big deal that your feet refused to move away from where he left.

this shouldn’t be happening.

you guys never just watched a movie, it always led to something more but it wasn’t even in your minds today and that wasn’t okay.

you needed to remind him that your hangouts were for sex only and it can’t be anything else. you needed to remind namjoon that you were getting off track, which was unacceptable.

that night, namjoon dreamt of you in his arms, just you in his arms, that was unacceptable.

but that night, your hands reached to caress the spot where you still felt his lips. and that was also unacceptable.

-

you didn’t text him after that, it wasn’t intentional or anything, you just felt that things shifted that night and you didn’t like it, a little distance would set things right back to the way they were.

casual and easy.

because that’s why you two worked, it was always casual and easy with namjoon.

and you hated to admit this to yourself, but you missed him.

which wasn’t so casual and easy.

you checked every post he made on instagram, every story that he uploaded, every song he recommended, and you still answered when he texted you but you let the message hover in your notification board for a few hours and gave every excuse possible to not meet him.

and this was supposed to be easy, you never felt the need to hang out or be with namjoon before, but that feeling was growing as the days passed, without a feel of his skin, without his gaze on you, without his slow laughter flowing through your room.

you wondered how it was for namjoon, maybe he was okay, maybe he didn’t care at all, maybe he was with someone else already and that was all fine, it was how things should be.

“people do fall in love. people do belong to each other because that's the only chance that anyone's got for true happiness.”

paul from breakfast at tiffany’s spoke on the screen, he looked angry but his words plead with his lover to agree with him, to let him sweep her off her feet, he needs her to understand that they are meant to be, even if she tried to deny it, even if she believes in a world where love didn’t exist.

you watched with teary eyes as they both ended up kissing in the rain with all their love pouring into each other.

it made you feel bitter.

it made you feel…empty.

you ignore it.

with an uneasy feeling crawling down your chest, you pull out your phone and your finger immediately reaches for the instagram icon. you waste no time clicking the circle around namjoon’s profile.

god bless him for being so active.

he was at a bar, not too far away from here and he was smiling, surrounded by a large group of friends.

the uneasiness in your chest let up a bit as your lips tugged into a smile too, namjoon’s always had a nice smile.

you really wanted to see him.

as much as it killed you to come to terms with that, every inch of you was trying to run away and find him, melt in him, let him talk through the night about things you never quite understood but enjoyed listening to.

or maybe your forehead just wanted another kiss, maybe your body just wanted company for tonight, maybe you just needed him for the exact benefits your situation rewarded you with.

maybe meeting him wouldn’t be such a bad idea, after all, you two had an arrangement for a reason, to give your bodies to each other.

but he was with his friends, it would be quite rude and obnoxious of you to just ask him to get out of it and meet you, just because you feel more needy than usual.

there were other ways though.

you didn’t have to go for him at all.

it was dinnertime, you were too lazy to cook, it could just be that you were hungry and decided to pick up some food. isn’t it so convenient that the place so close to you with food also has namjoon in it? but it wasn’t about him at all, the last thing on your mind.

a solid plan, if you could say so yourself.

-

a gush of wind pushed past you as you stood before the door to the restaurant that held namjoon on the other side. the stars were hard to see as you looked up and took a few deep breaths, it’s been so long since you’ve seen him, so long since you’ve heard his voice, so long since you’ve touched him.

(it’s been two weeks, actually.)

did you want to do this?

is this how you wanted to see him again, with some elaborate ruse?

the answer was yes.

yes, you wanted to do this and yes, this was how you wanted to see him again because you quite literally couldn’t figure out another way to see him.

texting and asking to meet was so old-fashioned.

the loud ring of the bell above your head, made you flinch as you pushed in and a string of greetings from the waiters came toward you, you politely greeted them back but your fingers twitched as you started looking for the person you had come all dolled up for.

you mean, the dish you couldn’t wait to take home and scarf down.

you quickly stepped to the counter where the menu lay and started flipping through it, not caring or seeing anything.

then you heard it.

his laughter.

which through all the noise, somehow made it to your ears.

maybe you had been paying extra attention to hear him somewhere but for now, you will just say that his laughter was too loud because why would you want to hear him when you were here for something else?

nevertheless, a look wouldn’t hurt anyone. you could just see him, satisfy this urge in you, and go back home with warm food.

if you remember the story right (you did, you rewatched it fifty times), namjoon was sitting towards the left side with a group of around six people so, you slyly scanned the left side with eagle eyes.

one quick look.

and nothing else.

and.

nothing.

else.

you told yourself that, ordered yourself that you would not be talking to namjoon.

and there he was.

your breath paused.

he didn’t look anything different from the ordinary.

he was wearing his beige trousers and t-shirt, he was wearing his worn-out beanie, he was laughing with the people around him and it was so simple, so ordinary, a scene that you would see anywhere in any restaurant.

but you wanted to run to him and hold him close, let him warm you, let him run his fingers through your hair, let him never let you go.

and you knew how dangerous it was to feel this way and how this would end for you.

that’s when you saw it.

the fear in affection, that namjoon had so gently explained to you the other day.

your “quick look” lasted more than a few minutes but you were having trouble peeling your eyes away from him.

that was until, you saw his body sit straighter and start looking around, as if he could sense someone’s gaze on him (that was on you, you were probably burning holes into him with your eyes) and you turned your body completely to the other side.

you were just overthinking it, there’s no way namjoon would sense someone casually glancing at him.

“i’ll take this to go, please” you whispered to the person at the counter while hurriedly pointing to some random dish on the menu. they looked at you with an uneasy smile and nodded slowly, you must look crazy to them.

but that didn’t matter, as long as you got your food and you got the hell out of here before namjoon noticed you, you were good with whatever they thought of you.

you scrolled through your phone, still facing fully away from him, and waited for your order to come, your foot tapping restlessly against the floor.

you kept waiting.

and waiting.

and waiting.

why were they taking so long?

the pace at which your foot tapped against the floor increased as you started to grow anxious.

you couldn’t stay forever, namjoon might finish his dinner, he might walk out, passing right by you and you would have to talk then and that was just-

“what are you doing, standing here?”

the tapping of your foot stopped.

exactly what you were dreading.

or exactly what you were hoping for.

you are not sure which one it is anymore.

“oh hey.” you turn around with a lame wave of your hand at the man that you don’t know what you feel for. he was looking at you with crinkled eyes and a teasing smile that picked his cheeks up and made them round.

get a grip.

“you know, the chairs at a restaurant are for sitting.” you follow his gaze to the chairs lined up near the counter.

……

you had nothing to say to that.

“i came to pick up dinner, what are you doing here?” you asked, as if you didn’t know already and he pointed towards the table that you were staring at earlier. “just with a couple of friends, do you want to join us?”

it was your rule, one that you had established wordlessly, stating clearly that you were not meant to hang out with each other’s friends but you always had wondered what namjoon was like around his friends.

was he just as snarky?

was he just as wise?

did he have an answer to everything for them as well?

you let him take your hand and walk you to the loud table, the food that you hadn’t noticed, grew cold on the counter.

-

“namjoon used to be so uptight then, he didn’t even help us on the test, he told us, ‘ey, i won’t be there in the future to help you out, so figure your shit out’, and he said this for one math problem, for one stupid test!” his friend, yoongi, barked out with a deepened voice to imitate namjoon and you loved every minute of it, as your head fell back in laughter.

namjoon smiled sheepishly, though his eyes threw daggers at yoongi and hid his face behind his huge hands, turning away from you.

you found that especially adorable.

“what a narc” you shoved his shoulder and, everyone erupted into loud laughter around the table. namjoon squinted his eyes and tried to give you an intimidating glare, which soon melted into a smile when you raised your eyebrows at him.

it felt so good.

he had his arm around your shoulder, you were almost buried into his side, the soft scent of his perfume enveloped around you and his friends seemed to love you. and the best of all, his eyes gazed over you constantly, to check on you or look at you, you had no idea but you enjoyed the attention nonetheless.

only if what you had was real, only if you knew namjoon as much as they seemed to, only if you could grab his neck and kiss him.

you shook your head at those thoughts, whatever this comfort zone was, it was only for tonight, you would never hang out with his friends again or be around him in this way again. you were only allowing this for tonight.

but.

you liked this so much.

“you good?” namjoon pulled you in closer to whisper to you, his eyes assessing the frown growing on your face.

no, i suddenly want to know everything about you, after ages of being fine with knowing nothing.

“yeah, all good” you smiled at him, tipping back your glass to hide the building tension in your throat. everyone around the table started standing up and namjoon pulled you up as well, but his hand stayed around you, holding you gently yet in a way that wouldn’t make it too easy for you to let go.

“it was so nice meeting you.” another friend of his, seokjin, wrapped you in a hug as namjoon’s arm stayed around your back, you smiled and hugged everyone else, as much as you could with his arm on you and they started waving their goodbyes, leaving you and namjoon.

you didn’t want to say ‘well, good to see you, let’s go back to fucking next week’, you didn’t want to wave goodbye and leave the warmth that radiated off namjoon, you didn’t want to go home, and think too much about his hand on your waist.

and namjoon surprised you.

“your place?” he asked, leading you out into the cold night as well and you felt the weight of all your doubts levitate off you, you tried to not agree too quickly but you couldn’t help but nod eagerly which made him smile in response, pulling you in tighter.

you two walked leisurely, with all the time in the world in your hands, and the night got darker, colder, and namjoon’s grip on you got tighter, warmer.

you didn’t speak a word, only stole glances at his side profile every once in a while, to make sure that somehow you hadn’t conjured this from your dreams, that this was reality and namjoon was here.

“what’s on your mind?” he catches your eyes, which were admiring his jaw and you look away, wanting to disappear into the night. he tugs on your hand, to urge you to answer him and you do, “your friends are hilarious, i had a very good time so thank you for inviting me.” the ‘thank you’ came out more awkwardly than you had thought.

but thankfully, namjoon found you endearing so he laughs at your scrunched-up face.

“i mean you were right there, i wasn’t going to let you go and eat alone in your apartment. but what a coincidence, right? us turning up at the same place. besides, i was going to ask you to meet them soon anyway.” he had a lovely smile on his face, he seemed to find the idea very charming, that you had somehow stumbled on each other and a pang of guilt shot through you for orchestrating the whole thing.

and the guilt worsened as the television played mindlessly in the background, as your body tangled around his, as his breath came too close, too loud, and his hands gripped onto your hair. you felt him everywhere and nowhere around you, it unnerved you.

you pulled apart hastily, the simple, harmless lie you told was enough to put some invisible wall between you and him. it felt wrong that he thought it was some sweet moment but it wasn’t.

namjoon immediately retracted, pulling his hands to himself but remaining close as he watched your reaction carefully, “do you want me to leave? because it’s okay if you’re not in the mood or don’t want me around right now, i get it.” the sound of his even breaths, his soothing tone, forced you to look at him.

“i lied,” you expected it to be harder to tell him but it wasn’t, namjoon sat up with an eyebrow quirked up as you explained to him that your turning up at the pub was no coincidence, that you had come there after seeing his instagram story.

“that’s it?” you nodded, skin burning with embarrassment, only looking up when you heard his low, amused laughter. namjoon shook his head at you, “but why? you can always call me, you know, i loved that you met them and had a good time.” he reached over to shut off the television and pull your legs from under you and onto his lap, his fingers tapped your thighs as you fell back on the sofa, covering your face with your hands.

“i felt like i couldn’t,” maybe it was because your voice sounded so small, maybe because he finally saw how truly upset you were about this but namjoon pulled you back and rested your head on his shoulder, “you always can, it doesn’t matter how or what or where we are, just call me and i’ll be here to finish all of your wine,” though you laughed at his words and buried yourself further into his collarbone, you knew you weren’t telling him the simple truth.

that night, once again, you didn’t do anything, you absentmindedly watched some movie, you crawled into bed next to him, he kissed your forehead, and fell asleep.

“namjoon?” you whispered against his snores, he stirred ever so slightly, hands reaching up to pat where you were sleeping, hands relaxing when they touched you.

“yeah?” he groaned into the pillow, “i came because,” you started, words swallowing down your throat, words flying out of your mouth.

“yeah?” this time, he looked up with squinted, sleepy eyes, and your heart drowned in adoration at the sight.

because i missed you.

it was simple words but how awful would it be, if you uttered them, and your heart that was drowning with adoration now, would have nothing to drown for?

“i just wanted to see you,” because you missed him so desperately, and a text or call wouldn’t have fed the hunger your longing left you with.

“i’m glad, because i missed you,” he kissed your shoulder and turned away to continue his slumber.

and left you with the same simple words you had been too scared to utter.

somehow, namjoon always voiced the simple words, even if they were naked, he voiced them as if it was nothing to put your bleeding heart out on your sleeve because missing someone was intimate, it was dangerous.

and that’s when your heart drowns again, you finally realize that namjoon has gotten closer to you.

a little too close.

-

what does it take for a person to be close?

is it the physical distance that lessens with every breath?

is it the emotional distance that connects you with an invisible string from miles away?

being close to someone is a fickle thing.

a person who knows everything about you, may not feel close.

but a person who tries to know you, may feel close.

namjoon feels close.

nights pass where the line between what you and namjoon were and what you were supposed to be, blurred to oblivion. you stopped questioning what it was, you stopped counting the beats your heart skipped every time he showed up at your door.

this night, both physically and emotionally, namjoon is close.

“why do you always read romantic books?” he hums, casually, as things have always been between you two as his hand lazily runs across your hair. he isn’t prying, it’s just a mild curiosity.

but it’s a question no one’s ever asked you.

you read romance to feel the love you yearn for.

that is your answer, there is a yearning in you that isn’t quenched by anything else except books that put your longing in words. it’s an answer you can’t give to namjoon.

“they’re just fun” you shrug, looking up and hoping he would buy your lie. he does not, he doesn’t try to hide that he doesn’t believe you but with a small smile and shake of his head, he lets you live with the lie.

“the real thing’s more fun.”

you remained silent.

you hugged him closer.

you didn’t sleep that night.

-

“have you got everything?” namjoon said, as he loaded your bags into the back of his car, “you helped me pack yesterday, namjoon, and you drilled my head for hours after to make sure of it,” you rolled your eyes at him, and he chuckled, patting your head, “just checking.”

you ignored the rush of warmth that filled your fingertips and your toes, you and namjoon were heading out of the city, into a tiny, charming town with his friends where you would spend about four days in a cabin there.

and yes, you know what it sounds like but when you received a call from namjoon, his excited, hopeful voice, you could imagine his face reflecting all of that, and you couldn’t say no.

the drive up is short, you sleep through it and namjoon plays soothing songs to avoid waking you up. the cabin is beautiful but you already know that from pictures and upon arrival, you are greeted with loud shouts and long hugs from his friends, you almost melt from all the affection they shower you with.

“this is for you,” yoongi hums as he drops a keycard into the palm of your hands before disappearing into his room and you trudge up the stairs to reach yours.

of course, you aren’t surprised when you see namjoon unpacking his clothes into drawers once you open the door, you know you had to share a room with him, considering that you are a guest on this trip.

it did make you reluctant at first but now, you were just waiting for your feelings to set you ablaze to make themselves known.

“hey, you” namjoon sings as he walks past you, but not without dropping a kiss on your temple that has your shoulders stiffening and your face tingling. “we’re going out in a bit to start a barbeque, see you there?”

you nod, your stomach reeling from the subtle touch of his hands that brush your arms before walking out the door.

you fall on the bed with your head in your hands, on days like these, you wish you could walk up to namjoon and ask him, what did you mean to him? did he think of you in the darkness of the night? did he want you around always?

because you did.

but you couldn’t ask.

-

drinks were passed, fairy lights descended on you, and soft singing filled the air.

“and our wise namjoon was just telling us what love is,” yoongi dramatically gestured to his red-faced, swaying friends and your ears picked up, hoseok groaned, “what did he say though?”

“that love is wanting to know someone more every day,” hoots and cheers and teases filled the air as namjoon buried his face into the side of your arm and complained endlessly under his breath.

you tried to laugh but you wanted to know everything about namjoon, what did that say about you?

and he asked you about yourself all the time, what did that say about him?

the question left you uneasy and annoyed.

“there’s a lake just around here,” jungkook looked at everyone around him with a suspicious glint shining in his eyes, then he got up, “race you there!” he yelled and took off, heavy feet thudding on the soft ground and everyone squealed in delight as they followed him.

namjoon pulled your hand with his as the cold air rushed over your face, a smile was frozen on your face and you ran until your lungs burned. it was out of a movie, the way your hair flowed, the way your laughs blended into the night, the way namjoon couldn’t stop looking at you.

then, as you expected, jungkook got pushed into the lake, he surfaced to yell at jimin only to break into giggles, and soon, everyone was trying to push everyone.

but namjoon only wanted to push you.

you ran around, escaping his touch in mere seconds, looking back breathlessly to see if he was near, and when he did catch you, he didn’t just throw you in, he threw both of you together.

you fell into the water, a laughing, bumbling mess but as cold as the night was, namjoon was warm so you snuggled into his neck and he held you with strong arms that wouldn’t let you drown.

close.

namjoon was so close.

“oh god, the couple’s at it again,” jin groaned and splashed water on the two of you and namjoon laughed out loud, pushing more water onto jin’s face.

but jin was wrong.

“we’re not a couple,” you nervously laughed, hands instinctively loosening around namjoon’s neck and he froze under you, his hands loosening around you as well as he cleared his throat.

jin swam away before he had to deal with the tension between you two.

namjoon’s arms left your body and you felt something break inside you as he pulled himself out of the water and wordlessly offered you, his hand. you grabbed it unsurely, not looking at him either.

you both didn’t speak at all until you reached your room.

-

“why did you say that?”

“say what?” you sat on the bed, picking on the lint that gathered on the sheets, unwilling to look at him.

“don’t act like you don’t know what i’m talking about, you’re smarter than that and i know it,” namjoon pinned you with serious eyes, making your heart burn in your chest, “but we’re not a couple.” you whisper, hands tightening on the sheets.

namjoon sighed, a heavy sigh, a sigh that conveyed irritation, disappointment, and restrained anger.

“i don’t understand why you’re upset, we are not a couple,” your irritation reared its head and namjoon shook his head, sitting beside you.

“are we not?” his question is breathless, lifeless, it’s waiting for you to revive it, pour life into it, and your eyes water without any command from you.

you think of the nights you spent together, the laughs you laughed together, the meals you’ve eaten together, the words that grow into a tower between you two and you think, yes, perhaps you are a couple without ever knowing it.

but it wasn’t supposed to be this.

“we had an arrangement,” you fight on, “which went to shit the second you met my friends,” he counters and you bite your lip, annoyed.

“i didn’t plan for that to happen.”

“but it happened.”

“do you really not know?” he asks again, and you know what he’s going to say, you turn away, legs coming to close around your chest.

his eyes widened and with a smile filled that held gentle surprise, he spoke as if his own words shocked him, as if he couldn’t believe he brought them to life.

“i like you. no actually, i love you.”

“don’t.”

namjoon moves away, physically his body flinches from you.

you silently crawl up on the bed and lay your head on the pillow, you gather your courage which crumbles when he comes up too and his hands find yours, he squeezes in question, what do you mean?

why did it have to be him, of all people?

“don't like me cause i don't know how to like you back, not in the way you want and not in the way that will ever be enough for you,” you say quickly, wanting this torture inside you to give up and go home, so you can finally be at peace with yourself.

it took all of two minutes for namjoon to remove himself from you.

and he left you in the bed, you clutched the pillowcase as you heard his footsteps recede from the room and you flinched when the door shut.

you cried, you put your arms around yourself and cradled your face to sleep, maybe it would be nice to feel someone else hold you but you couldn't let that be namjoon, it had to be someone that you could hurt and be okay with it.

-

namjoon was ignoring you, he didn’t come back to the room that night and now, he was sitting a few feet away from you and you couldn’t ignore the way everyone glanced between you two.

“the fireworks will start at 8, everyone be back by then,” jin announced, receding from the gathering and going back into the home.

“come, okay? we’ve got drinks and food,” jungkook squeezed your shoulder as he walked past, of course, he noticed you and namjoon not talking and he was sweet for making sure you were coming. you gave him a weak smile and nod.

when you reach the place where fireworks are supposed to light up the sky, there’s only namjoon on the bench that was too long for just one person.

there was so much space.

there was so much place.

but you didn’t fit in there, not next to him.

your hands wrung the cardigan dangling on your arms as a sharp exhale tried to stabilize you.

you turn around to leave but stop in your tracks when his eyes fall on the back of your head. even without looking back, you know he’s seen you and if you left, you would feel even more pathetic.

“don’t go,” he whispers, it’s hard to hear him over the crickets chirping but his voice finds its way to you and you want to cry again, “even if we’re not talking, don’t go.”

so, you stay.

you look at the lake in front of namjoon and he looks at the empty bench next to him, he knows who should be there and you know who shouldn’t be there.

even far away, his presence suffocates you, not in a dangerous way, but in a way that you would forever want to be suffocated.

everyone else arrives loudly, carrying cans of beer and packets of food and some of them sit down, jungkook and jimin are kind enough to stand next to you and keep you company but even they know where you should’ve been instead.

the rest of the night, you remember in gaps.

you remember looking at his hand when everyone looked at the fireworks, you remember the way his face lit up with a thousand colors, you remember the way his voice cheered at the sight in the sky, you remember the way his skin traveled and embraced his body.

how was something as ordinary as skin, so extraordinary when it came to him?

you wanted to become one, to melt into him and never come back to your true self. your hand itched to touch, to reach out but instead, it tightens on your cardigan and you force yourself to look away.

-

when you got back home from the cabin, namjoon had dropped you at your room, carried your bags in, and left immediately after as if being in your presence was unbearable for him, which made you cry as soon as the door shut behind him.

now, you were in bed, it was tuesday and you had no one in your life again.

you watched your phone like a hawk, jumping at every ting! it made but it was never namjoon and you always found yourself wishing it was.

your arm dangled off the sofa as you watched kung fu panda play on the tv.

"your story might not have a happy beginning, but that does not make you who you are." soothsayer spoke on the screen and you watched with your lips between your teeth, ignoring the way your heart skipped over when the scene cut to the wise turtle, oogway.

you didn’t want to think of namjoon, you didn’t want to think of his laugh when you called him a wise turtle nor did you want to think of how you could be watching this with him right now.

but he was out of your life now.

and you didn’t know how to live it anymore.

you suddenly were too aware of how lonely you were and too aware of how no one could soothe the loneliness nor cure it.

you saw the book he had given you that was on your coffee table still, you saw his wine glass that was tucked away in a corner of your kitchen, you saw his sweater that you never bothered giving back and you felt yourself crumble from within.

when someone leaves your life, the life you had before them seems alien, not yours.

and your life, right now, was just not yours.

-

“but he wasn’t even that good-looking, so it wasn’t too sad,” your friends laughed around the table as one of them spoke, you raised your glass to your lips and sipped to kill the words inside you.

but my man was beautiful, my man was everything, so it is sad for me.

when your friends called you to meet up, it seemed like a beacon of light shoved into your life and you immediately accepted, you had to go back to your life before namjoon.

“i don’t think i’ve ever liked anyone enough to be sad after we break up,” one of them sighed and the rest followed.

but i’m so sad.

“but how do we know if we like someone that much?”  you asked silently, not really meaning to and all their heads snapped to you.

“i’ve only loved that much once, and it was…strange, none of me felt like me anymore, i guess you without them stops making sense,” your friend said, her eyes shimmered with memories of her past love. the ball in your throat grew tighter and it wound itself around your entire being.

you without namjoon, didn’t make sense.

and you were close to letting him out of your life forever.

you pushed against the table, hands shaking but you were so determined, it was suddenly too clear that you needed him.

“guys, i have to go.” they all smiled and giggled as they watched you run out of the restaurant.

-

you ran into the pouring rain, water splashed on your sneakers and your jeans but you kept pushing forward.

if you lose namjoon now, you will never forgive yourself, if you lose him after finally realizing that you need him in your life, you will never recover from the pain.

your hands hurriedly stuffed into your bag, pulling out your phone and checking his instragram, you were blessed with a view of his home and book in his stories so you wasted no time in dialing his number, pressing it to your ear and praying to every raindrop falling on you that he would pick up.

he picked up.

you stopped in your tracks.

there was only his breathing on the other side, some static noises too, and still just the simple act of him picking up the call had you sighing out in relief.

“namjoon, please come out,” you whispered, eyes lining with tears that would join the rain on your face and he sighed, you held your breath until he spoke.

then, after a pregnant silence, he sighed again, “okay.”

you cut the call and started running again, renewed energy slammed on the ground as you ran for your life, for your love.

as you finally reached his apartment, your heart raced with anticipation. the running left you breathless, the rain was merciless but the thought of seeing him filled you with an energy that surpassed any physical exhaustion.

and you bent over, catching your breath, you couldn't help but feel a flutter of nerves in your stomach. your mind raced with thoughts of what to say, how to express the feelings swirling within you. with each cough, you felt the intensity of your emotions grow, this moment, this night, this rain could change everything for you.

but you knew that whatever you said, whatever you decided to reveal, it would come from ages of knowing but denying your heart.

when someone you love leaves your life, the life you had before them stops making sense, that’s when the hollowness comes in, that’s when you realize you need them.

and you were done, you were done hiding and you were pretending that you didn’t want him under your very skin.

then, the rain stops.

to correct it, the rain stops falling on your head.

you see his shoes in front of you and muffle the cry that erupts in your throat.

you look up impatiently, so quickly that namjoon jerks back and you curse yourself with every word possible, how did you ever deny yourself of him?

“why are you here?” namjoon tries to stay stoic, and cool, even as his hands scream at him to pull you to him, to let his skin become yours and instead, his hands tighten on the umbrella he’s holding over you.

“i was wrong that day,” you gasped out, and his heart lurched even as he tried not to hope for too much, “which day?”

“when i tried to act like we weren’t anything, i was wrong, namjoon, so terribly wrong,” you shook your head at yourself, pushing your hair away from your face, your chin trembled as you tried to talk to the one person who made your heart run like a racehorse.

“and i was so scared, but i should have never lied to you or myself just because i was scared,” he listened, patient as ever, but you saw his eyes go red and the way his nose twitched with a sniff.

“but why were you scared? it’s just me,” he laughed, as if he wasn’t the most extraordinary person ever, as if everything he spoke didn’t carry a bit of magic, as if he wasn’t magic himself.

“i was scared because,” you swallowed, can you say it out loud?

something about the rain made everything look so beautiful, so pure, so vulnerable but it made your heart feel so heavy, feel so filled with dread that it might burst, because if he didn’t believe you, if he laughed and walked away, you wouldn’t know how to live with yourself.

his hand snaked up your arm and something tender floated in the air around you, something that made you feel so close to namjoon, something that felt so right. but you weren't speaking a word, nor were you touching him, but you were in front of him and he was in front of you, and just like this, you felt as if someone had laid you bare.

“when i hold me, it's imperfect, i don't touch all of me and that's fine, it's just me, but if i don't hold you perfectly, the way you deserve, i might just die from guilt,” you breathed out, chin trembling again and namjoon held your jaw, and your eyes fell close.

“if i hurt you, i can never come back from it because you’re a good person, you don’t hesitate to say things like, ‘i miss you’ or ‘i saw this and i thought of you’, but those things scare me, i’ve never said them before.”

“but?” he mused, pushing your hair behind your ear and you curled into his palm, leaning your entire face on it.

you laughed, it wasn’t happy, it wasn’t sad, it was just a sound, “but i don’t know to live without you, i need you, i miss you even when you’re away for a second, i think of you in every movie i watch and i see you in some or the other character in every book i read, i see you everywhere in my life and i need you in it.”

“my life isn’t mine without you, i love you.” you pleaded.

and everything was silent for a second, he looked at you, you looked at him, you felt his skin become yours again, you felt the relief flooding in you but you also felt desperate to hear his voice.

“at some point, you’re going to need someone to hold you, the right way i mean” namjoon spoke finally, and you nodded, grabbing onto his shirt, “it needs to be you.”

namjoon’s never been able to deny you of anything at all so he says, “it will be me. now, come here,” he pulled on your arm until you fell on his chest and the rest of the world fell into place for you, you gripped onto him as if someone was going to take him away and namjoon laughed, kissing your forehead, which sent a numbing tingle all over your body.

“i love you too.” it felt right, you didn’t want to run away and take back everything you said, you wanted to hear him say it again and again, you wanted to say it again and again.

being close to someone is a fickle thing.

a person who knows everything about you, may not feel close.

but a person who tries to know you, may feel close.

and namjoon was so close that it didn’t make sense, like many stories you’ve read in your life, but it didn’t have to.

because from now on, he was you, and you were him.

and from now on, you and him, are the magical story that you would tell to everyone else.

❁ pictures you've taken of your boyfriend, Namjoon

More of the boyfriend pictures series

“Hi, neighbor!”

The familiar timbre of voice makes you look up from the stack of mail in your hands. It’s not routine—you fetching the mail, that is—but your dad is out of town and your mom has been telling your ear off about getting the mail. Something about the electrical bill. Or was it the water bill?

“Hi, Joon.” You throw a smile at your neighbor, squinting to fight the bright morning sun. The mails in your hand make for a good cap replacement, though, so you lift them up to your forehead, providing a tiny shade for your poor eyes. “Had a good time last night?” you tease.

Namjoon brings his hand to his head—the raven buzz cut making him look like a peculiar dandelion—running his hand through his hair while his cheeks dimple in embarrassment.

“That obvious, huh?”

“The t-shirt kinda gave it away,” you grin, wiggling your eyebrows. “It’s the same one as last night and it’s crinkled in all the right places to scream ‘I had the time of my life last night!’”

“Eh, don’t act like you’ve never had one of those nights too, neighbor.” Namjoon sticks his hands into his pockets, grin still in place and eyes some nice crescents. Again, you picture a peculiar dandelion in your mind. “It’s not every day that you have a very good night's sleep.”

You bark out a laugh, the mails slipping from your hands onto the pavement. Namjoon echoes the happy sound, his laugh sounding like that of an excited dog, wiggling its tail while waiting to play. A peculiar dandelion whose laugh sounds like an excited dog.

“Only you who’d equate a good night’s sleep to a good time, Namjoon,” you chuckle, crouching down to retrieve your fallen mails.

“Nothing better than to have some peace and quiet in your mind when you’re supposed to, neighbor.” He smiles at you, before closing his eyes as he faces the sun, soaking in all the sunlight the world has to offer.

You’re about to respond when your mom’s voice sounds from inside your house, complaining about the extended period of time you spend getting the mail. “I need to see the bills now!” Oh, well.

“Peace and quiet, huh?” you say.

Namjoon heaves out another chuckle from his chest. “See what I mean?”

He’s still standing there, letting his face be bathed in the golden rays of sunlight, and the adjective in your head gets a friend: bright. A bright, peculiar dandelion.

“Yeah,” you mumble, still distracted by how peaceful Namjoon looks soaking in the sun. “I’ll see ya later, peculiar dandelion.”

You wonder what other adjective you can add when you see him again tomorrow.

may 3rd, 2024.

masterlist | picture drabble masterlist

→ request is open for my 1k folls celebration!

“You know you won’t be able to scoop anything with that fork, right?”

Namjoon props his cheek on his fist, dragon eyes looking at your hand that’s holding a fork. A fork you’ve been using to “scoop” up soup out of a bowl. Well, trying to.

“How would you know? Have you tried it?”

Stubborn. Not your best trait, but your most prominent.

“I have, yes, that’s why—“

“—you said ‘life is a bowl of soup and I’m a fork’. I’m trying to prove you wrong.”

The silence between you stretches into minutes as you continue trying to enjoy your bowl of soup with the utensil not fit for it while Namjoon continues watching. A harsh huff of breath has just passed your nose loudly when the man in front of you speaks, a mumble of curiosity that has your hand frozen mid-air.

“What if, instead of proving me wrong, you become the spoon in that equation?”

One of your eyebrows shoots up into your hairline, not getting where Namjoon is going with this. Why would you become a spoon? Why is Namjoon suddenly talking about you transforming into an inanimate object?

“So the saying would be ‘life is a bowl of soup and I’m a fork—but you’re the spoon.’ I’ll be able to tackle life as long as I have you, the spoon, by my side.”

There’s a pause when the gears in your head are busy turning to digest Namjoon’s words about soup and forks and spoons. It’s a peculiar analogy, but not so complicated that it takes you hours to fully grasp the meaning. When it all clicks, you rest your cheek on your propped up fist, copying his pose.

“Do you want me to be the spoon?”

Namjoon gives you a one-shoulder shrug and a crooked smile. “Didn’t I suggest it?”

“Thought it was just a saying,” you say with your own small smile.

“Could be anything you want it to be,” Namjoon chuckles. His hand reaches for a spoon sitting on the table, offering the utensil to you. “Spoon?”

You look between the fork in your hand and the spoon in Namjoon’s hand. It’s obvious that scooping soup with a fork is never gonna work, so you slowly take the spoon from him. Maybe being the spoon to his fork wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Spoon it is.”

july 9th, 2024.

masterlist | picture drabble masterlist

e2l with namjoon... the sexual tension when theyre fighting n everybody else eating popcorns watching

If there’s one thing Namjoon is good at, it’s getting on your nerves.

“That’s not how you play the game,” he snorts, watching from his position on Taehyung’s old recliner as you slap down two red cards on top of each other. “We’re not playing stacks.”

You roll your eyes, leaning back into your kneeled position anyway. “You weren’t even here when we made the rules,” you shoot back, shuffling your cards together before Jungkook can try to get another peek at them from the couch behind you. “Shouldn’t you worry about your twelve cards instead?”

Taehyung laughs somewhere to your right, but Namjoon doesn’t seem the slightest bit amused. “I didn’t know we were stacking—which is stupid—but if I did,” his turn comes around and he easily lays down six of his green cards, “shouldn’t you be worrying about how I’m about to win again?” The rest of the circle laughs at your typical banter, but all you want to do is kick Kim Namjoon’s ass, his stupidly plump ass, right above those stupidly thick thighs, thighs that would certainly feel good on your—

“Your turn,” Jungkook nudges, knee against your shoulder. Then he leans close, smells a little like that sparkling water he likes. “If you have a draw four, put it down. Me and Yoon both have one and we can knock Namjoon up to eighteen cards!” he whispers gleefully. You grin, nonchalantly setting down your card. Taehyung, who isn’t in on your little plan, laughs at Jungkook instead.

Suffice to say, Namjoon ends up with eighteen cards, down to sixteen when you set down your last card and win the game. “Boo hoo,” you feign, barely keeping the laughter out of your voice as you get up. “Looks like Joonie loses again.”

He rolls his eyes, following you and Taehyung into the kitchen for more drinks. “Fuck you,” he spits.

“You wish,” you purr, brushing brush past him on your way to the cabinet, on your toes to reach for the glasses.

Instinctively, his hand comes to your hip to hold you steady. Somewhere behind you, Taehyung’s got his head stuck inside the fridge, rummaging around the very back for more drinks. Namjoon gives you a squeeze. “And if I do?” he murmurs, the deep timbre of his voice sending shivers down your spine. Your hand slips, ends up clutching at the cabinet shelf.

He presses closer, breath tickling the nape of your neck, hips against yours. There’s a faint stirring beneath his pants, a movement that makes you gasp. Namjoon leans close, lips against the shell of your ear. “Will you let me?”

 kim namjoon fic rec list (Ⅰ)

here’s a list of my ultimate favourite namjoon fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed ♡

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

prohibido by @personasintro f s a (brother’s best friend au)

more than anything else by @seokkgenie f s a (CEO au)

nothing like us by @jiminimoon s a (ex boyfriend namjoon) ft. fuck boy jungkook

spilling coffee by @bts-roses f a (idol au intern reader)

promise by @joheun-saram f s a (college au roommate au enemies to friends to lovers au)

to make a power couple by @joheunsaram f s a (idol au ceo reader)

daisies and dinosaurs by @dark-muse-iris f s a (single father au)

intro: her by @jamaisjoons f s a (single dad au strangers to friends to lovers au)

out of my league by @ppersonna f s a (office au)

promises by @jeonsweetheart f s a (marriage au infidelity au idol au)

the father, the son and the holy whore by @yoon2k s (dilf namjoon infidelity au)

partners by @btssmutgalore s a (friends to lovers au slow burn)

dimples by @sweetmisery f s (idol au friends with benefits friends to lovers au)

sincerely, but no longer yours by @ttttaehyungie s a (exes au)

lavender honey by @oftenderweapons f s a (chaebol au friends to friends with benefits to enemies to lovers au)

love bytes by @stutterfly f s a (friends to lovers au slow burn)

bass and strings by @jimlingss f (slow burn au slice of life college au music au)

letting go by @bangtan-babe f a (doctor au) ft. Jimin

one-shot

july kiss by @personasintro f s (dilf namjoon idiots to lovers au)

fool for you by @cutechim s a (rebound au hospital au unrequited love au)

try again by @bangtanfancamp f s (roommate au best friend to lovers au)

it’s december (and I still want) by @smoochkooks f s a (ex husband au)

there was a bug @kimnjss f s a (roommate au best friend to lovers au)

the rich man’s crochet club by @kpopfanfictrash s (virgin au college au)

dizzy by @joonessence f s (friends to lovers au)

a sight for sore eyes by @siderealmyg f s (established relationship au)

good to me by @httpjeon f s a (dating service au)

what are friends for by @kookdiaries s (best friends au friends to lovers au)

the bodyguard by @rmnamjoons f s a (bodyguard au fake dating/marriage au)

nice guys finish last by @ktheist f s a (arranged marriage au) ft. Ex fiance Yoongi

cyanide on my bedsheets by @jimilter s a (friends with benefits au unrequited love)

after rain by @rmverse​ f s a (patient namjoon patient reader)

once upon an us by @yoonia​ f s a (inspired by the movie sweet home alabama past lovers au exes to lovers au established relationship)

bothered by @lavienjin f s a (brother’s best friend)

2AM by @xpeachesncream f s (college au)

black swan by @helenazbmrskai s a (co-workers to friends to lovers tattoo artist joon)

love is blind by @helenazbmrskai f s a (best friends brother au college au enemies to lovers au)

ramen? by @solarwonux f s

only a lifetime by @dopejk f s (dilf joon marriage au pregnancy au)

emerald by @dewykth s a (bodyguard au)

spice by @breakiebunny f s a (enemies to lovers au chef joon)

new parent syndrome by @1kook f s (dilf joon husband au parents au)

hammer it home by @gukslut f s a (domestic au) ft. Jimin

nailed it by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple) ft. Jimin

feels like home by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple)

a wrench in the plan by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple)

totally screwed by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple)

obligated by @underthejoon s (arranged marriage au)

↬looking for other knj fics or the other members check out my library

drabble #24

namjoon x reader || action, fantasy || 493 words prompt: “is this really necessary?” warnings: cursing, mentions of violence, use of guns, implied murder, implied death rating: pg-17 tags: idiots to lovers, gang!au

It was pouring rain. Cold and heavy drops hit my body mercilessly as I made my way through the garden near the south gate of the HYBE headquarters. My mission was simple: sneak in, get the dream device and sneak out. I was running late, I admit, but all this shouldn't take more than half an hour. I'm really good at laying low, and they wouldn't even notice I was there.

Once I managed to see the entrance I noticed that there were three security guards. Two near the door, walking in opposite directions and one on the roof. If I could get to the other side I'm sure I would be able to climb through the window, but that depends solely on me passing in front of them unnoticed, and that was going to be a challenge with a wounded shoulder.

Suddenly I hear a noise behind me, distant yet close enough to get my attention. I stopped behind one of the pillars between two beautiful trees, drew my gun, and waited. I used to do missions alone all the time, so it wasn't a problem for me not to have a backup in situations like this, but after the accident in Spain, I wasn't allowed to go out without a partner. Tonight I broke the rules a bit and left, not telling a soul where I was going, which is why I nearly got scared to death when Namjoon came into my field of vision, walking out from behind the pillar, making me bump into him.

“Fuck!” I yell in some sort of a whisper, lowering my gun.

“Is this really necessary?” he asked looking around the garden and then to me, up and down, with a judgy look on his face.

“What are you doing here, Namjoon?” I rolled my eyes.

“Stopping you from doing something really stupid” he replied.

“Did Yoongi sent you?”

Namjoon chuckled, “No, but he’ll be furious when he finds out”

“He won't find out because I'm going to get the dream device and put it on his desk before he arrives tomorrow, so…excuse me” I shoved him aside and started cautiously moving towards the left side of the garden.

“Suit yourself” I heard Namjoon say.

I didn't feel his presence after a couple of minutes, so I assumed Namjoon was gone. I carried on with my mission as the rain grew stronger, louder. This damn garden was bigger than I'd anticipated so I made sure to keep up the pace as I jogged between the stone decorations and precisely trimmed bushes until I reached the far end, near the building.

I can see the window already. So near!

Where are the guards? One, two…

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Three.

Gun cocked in hand along with a small flashlight, there he was. The guard who shouldn't have seen me. Ha, but I was faster.

“Up” I smirked and quickly shot him in the shoulder.

damn🥵 that shit was so SPICY asf like YESSSS😩🤤 i loved everything in this fic KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

Reconcile || knj

⇢ pairing: namjoon x reader ⇢ genre: smut with the least amount of plot possible (there’s no pLOT) ⇢ word count: 1.5k ⇢ warnings: unprotected sex, spitting, some choking, rough sex ⇢ summary: Back together sex with your ex, Kim Namjoon. A/N: anon requestion Namjoon spitting in your mouth and i ??? went off ig

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This is BEAUTIFUL💕 i loved it a lot and showed that for a relationship to work, both ends need to communicate or else they would lose one another:((((

the draft where you run into the ex you’re still in love with and accidentally kiss him goodbye.

Three things should be noted when it comes to the topic of your love life.

1. You once were a self-proclaimed romantic, though that’s not really what it was. Yes, you loved romance but you never quite had the patience for anything beyond that. It was more that you were obsessed with love and falling into it. You’d flit from relationship to relationship chasing the rush that came with first kisses, first confessions and sleepless nights of love making. 

But the thing about chasing is, eventually you catch what you’re after. Eventually you have to fight to make things work. Eventually, the simple actions that once made you giddy no longer have the same effect. 

And that’s when you’d bolt.

Because love is hard, you learned. It can be wonderful, yes. But putting yourself out there like that, bearing all your flaws to another person and leaving yourself open to be left – that is scary as hell. And really, you never found anyone quite worthy of sharing your truest self with. No one had made you feel quite safe enough to be that vulnerable.

2. That all changed when you met Namjoon. No longer were you interested in running, as Namjoon didn’t chase you. Not forever anyway. He didn’t play into your little love games or back down when you tried to deflect serious conversations of the heart. He didn’t eat out of the palm of your hand or worship the ground you walk on in order to keep you with him. 

No, Namjoon knew his worth as a man, as a partner in life. And as badly as he wanted to be yours, he wasn’t going to cut himself down or ignore his own needs just to feed your delusions about what love actually is. He wasn’t going to be used as a play thing or a doormat. 

Keep reading

Taming an Alpha

kinktober day 02

Pairing: Alpha!Namjoon x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: strong language, explicit sexual content ; subby alpha werewolf joonie, joonie wearing a collar + leash, light praise kink, mild pet play (reader calls joon puppy), oral over underwear (f. receiving)

Requested by ; @tipsydipsydo

Heat pulsed beneath Namjoon’s skin, spreading like a flame across his shuttering limb. His pulse was a quick, uneven thudding in his veins, an arrhythmic beating that seemed to coincide flawlessly with the throbbing of his dick.

He wasn’t used to this.

He wasn’t used to looking up at you— or to anyone for that matter. He wasn’t used to being on his knees. He wasn’t used to feeling the weight of leather around his neck. He wasn’t used to feeling like he belonged to somebody.

… He wasn’t used to submitting.

For fuck’s sake he was an alpha. A strong, confident, intelligent, dominant alpha. If his betas could see him right now, they’d throw a fit. For an alpha to be in such a relegating position was next to unheard of. Worst of all in front of a human. But… you were his human. You were his mate. And to find himself beneath you, looking up at you, so vulnerable and exposed, there was something unexpectedly… intoxicating about it.

He wasn’t used to this. But that didn’t mean he didn’t absolutely love it.

After all, that was the whole reason he asked to be treated like this in the first place.

“Look at my pretty puppy~” you cooed darkly, molten gaze sliding over the impressive length of his body where it kneeled before you. A chill rolled down his spine at the nickname. The only title he was used to being addressed by was alpha, or sir on occasions he dealt with humans. Both which were, by all means, the complete opposite of puppy. Such a nickname was usually considered degrading for a werewolf and, depending on context, possibly offensive. Particularly for an alpha.

So then… Why did he like hearing you call him that so much?

He didn’t have time to dwell on the thought, a soft gasp escaping his swollen lips as you traced a finger beneath the thick leather collar wrapped securely around his flushed throat, your own lips curling into a lethal smirk at his obviously heightened sensitivity.

A soft, purely instinctual growl rumbled like low thunder in the depths of his chest when you have an experimental tug at the attached leash. But the sound was abruptly silenced by an intentionally rough yank that had him stumbling forward, hands scrambling to grip your thighs to balance himself. He whimpered softly at the feeling of your fingers weaving through his hair and sharply pulling his head back, forcing him to meet gaze. There was fire in your eyes, and he felt himself beginning to smolder beneath the raw intensity of it.

“Did you just... growl at me?”

He was panting now, the delicious burning of his scalp and the strain in his throat coaxing a round of hot precum to spill from his angry, swollen tip. “I– I’m sorry.” He apologized in a weak whine, dull nails pressing faint crescents into the flesh of your thighs.

“Good dogs don’t growl at their masters, do they?” You hummed, tone borderline taunting, penetrating gaze carefully scrutinizing every contortion of his handsome, blushing features, watching attentively for any signs of discomfort. But, you found none. The only emotion to be found was pure, unfiltered lust.

Namjoon shook his head as best he could given your tight grip, letting out a breathless, “no.”

A feigned pout fell across your face. “Then… I suppose you're a bad dog, Joonie.”

“N-no!” Dark pink blossomed across his cheeks at the abrupt outburst, but he continued nonetheless, “I’m a good d-dog.” He insisted, almost whimpering when you released your hold on his hair in favor of crossing your arms over your chest, staring down at him with a blatantly unconvinced frown.

“How can I possibly believe you?” You questioned softly, brows curling inward as you held his desperate, wide eyed stare.

Searing heat spread through his stomach, the glint in your eye making him tremble with unfathomable need. “I can prove it.”

You almost missed it. The whisper that slipped from his lips, disguised in a shuddering breath, was almost too soft to be heard. It was such a strong contrast between his usually confident, unwavering speaking voice that the raw gentleness of it rippled through the very core of your being. He didn’t miss it. Didn’t miss the scent of your arousal, thick and honey like in the air caressing his enhanced senses. A low, throaty groan dripped from his gaping mouth, his fingers tightening around your legs.

“You can?” Your voice was softer this time, taking on a certain airiness as you drowned in the deepness of his sweet brown eyes, willing and eager to give you any and everything you could ask for. “And how do you propose doing that?”

Your brows lifted as he lowered his head, nuzzling his warm cheek against the inside of your knee, going so far as to chance pressing a delicate kiss on the warm skin. You allowed as much, watching with the tender ministration with growing intrigue. “I can make you feel good,” a gentle tug at his leash, and he was adding softly, “if you allow it.”

Dragging your tongue over your lower lip, you slowly lowered your head. Namjoon eagerly raised his own, meeting you halfway with trembling lips and glistening eyes. He whimpered as your mouth feathered over his, teasing him. And then—

“Don’t disappoint me.”

The let down of being denied your kiss was short lived as he allowed what you said to sink in. In an instant his face was pressed between your thighs, pressing eagerly into your clothed heat, tongue out, jaw slack. You melted against him with a sigh, shuttering in bliss. Even with the thin fabric separating you, you could feel the warmth of his mouth, the delicious pressure of his tongue grinding into your clit. The soft hums and breaths of pleasure slipping from your throat only encouraged him further.

A soft vibration pulsed through your core, and you realized with a rush of delight that he was growling again, a low, possessive, hungry snarl that rippled through your heat, spreading like a wildfire through the rest of your body. It trembled through you veins, resonating through your blood. His nose rolled over your clit, teeth nipping at your slick lips and you huffed out a broken moan, subconsciously rolling your hips against his searing mouth. Your thighs tightened around him, a soft groan echoing in your lungs.

“Good puppy,” you whispered, eyes fluttering as you laced your fingers through his thick strands. The praise had his cock twitching and spilling another round of precum over his pulsing head, needy and neglected. He groaned against you, the taste and smell of you seeping through your underwear making his eyes flutter and roll to the back of his skull.

“Can I take them off?” He pleaded, fingers inching towards the hem of the black lace.

“Go for it.” You breathed through heavy pants, far too wound up to tease or play the push and pull game any further. At your consent, he eagerly dragged the material down your legs, nearly drooling like a damn dog at the sight of your wet, glistening heat. Oh, the irony.

Squirming forward on his knees impatiently, he flicked his gaze between your face and your heat, licking hungrily at his lips. It took you a moment to realize that he was waiting... He was waiting for your permission.

What a good boy.

Grinning, you spread your legs open as wide as they would go, leaning back and propping yourself up on your arms to present yourself to your handsome werewolf.

“Go for it, puppy.”

colour me pretty 

pairing namjoon x reader

word count  588 

summary being a book nerd never tasted so sweet

it was annotated. 

the book you let him borrow – your favourite book – was annotated. you took it from his grasp, admiring the matching sticky tabs to the aesthetic of the book cover. flicking through the book you could slightly see his scrawly handwriting in the sides of the pages and crammed between the lines on the pages. you looked back up at him, taking in his adorable bashful appearance; hands in pockets and trying his best to look everywhere but you. 

he remembered something also, digging through his bag and pulling out a couple sheets of parchment paper, all rolled neatly into a cylinder with a pretty blue and silver bow tying it off in the middle. “it’s just…they’re just…notes! notes i made– basically just my random thoughts throughout the book that i thought maybe you could read and we could talk about them? i-if you’d like of course.” 

“namjoon…you’re so fucking cute oh my god.” he really went out of his way to not only read your favourite book, but annotated it AND wrote down his thoughts. how the hell were you going to repay him? you looked around at the bookshelves and back at professor pince who *thankfully* was too absorbed by filch’s horrible flirting and then back at namjoon. You stood placing everything in your bag before taking his hand and weaving through the millions of bookshelves to the very back of the library and stopping in front of a pretty stained glass window of helga hufflepuff. 

“you know joonie…” your fingers trailed up his arms and interlocked at the nape of his neck. “no-one’s ever gone out of their way to annotate a book for me before.” 

“y-yeah? well i know how much you like it and i wanted to like it just as much.”

“and did you? like it i mean?” your lips ghosted the edge of his ear, before pressing a light kiss to the very end of his chiselled jaw.

“it wasn’t my favourite genre but it was a g-good read.” your kisses travelled further up his jaw, ghosting across his lips to the other side of his face. it made him stammer and also want to drop off the floor with heatstroke. you were way too hot for him and yet here was, in his embrace, kissing his jaw as a thank you. 

“joonie can i kiss you? pretty please?” you pouted, eyes constantly flickering to his lips. “I don’t know how else to thank you right now but please… let me kiss you now and i promise i’ll take you out on a real date after.”

“you’ll take me on a date?” his eyes bugged out of his head, the shock of finally having you. 

“yes i promise now can i please ki-” namjoon wasted no time diving in and capturing your lips in his, turning your bodies around and pressing you against the window. he pulled back after a few seconds, his eyes admiring your ethereal beauty as the mixture of yellow and orange light kissed your skin making you glow like his own personal treasure. 

“and maybe on the date we can discuss your book and i can give you one of mine to read?”

“yes, yes that sounds perfect baby but shush now and kiss me like that again.” you whined slightly, pouting up at him. 

namjoon chuckled, pressing his lips against yours once more, savouring each whimper and gasp emitted from your dewy lips as he kissed them. being a book-nerd never tasted so sweet. 

masterlist

University Superstar is 🤌🏻 Just so, SO good. I can do totally picture your JK 🫠🥴Thanks for sharing your immense talent with us🫰🏻 I’m an old ass fangirl and thought maybe if you ever decide to write asks that you could write about Namjoon with a much older artist or museum docent. 😏 I may or may not have had an exhibition or two 🖼️ and the idea that Kim Namjoon saw any of my pieces sends me… ⚰️

Kim Namjoon Drabble 1

[Summary]: Kim Namjoon is a frequent visitor at the museum you work at. In fact, he’s visited so often, he’s gained your museum's platinum gold card for passes on all exhibitions and the cafeteria’s sweet tea. You’ve come to realize that Namjoon is the biggest art nerd you’ve ever met outside of yourself when he started to find you after every exhibition and ask you questions about the artist. However, your subtle feelings for the man start to go a-wire when he beings to ask questions about you instead.

[Theme]: MuseumDocent!AU, Artist!AU, ArtNerdNamjoon!AU, Museum!AU, FriendsToLovers!AU

[Rating]: Fluffy fluff fluff; slice of life.

[Word Count]: 1,773

[A/N]: Hmmmm, this is going to be difficult. Mainly because I am only slightly younger than our golden maknae, Jjk. However, that doesn’t go to say that I haven’t read scenarios where Y/n was older than one of the members…but I also have not personally written any like that either. BUT! That doesn’t mean I can’t try. I hope this meets your expectations.

Besides, Namjoon in a museum makes me leek 🥬

[Masterlist] [Taglist]

You love this museum.

The smell of it, the look of it, the organization of it — you love it all. You love it so much, you’ve become a docent there.

Walking about the museum while you flaunt your knowledge on the various famous pieces, featured pieces, and sometimes, some of your own pieces, has been the source of your happiness for years now.

Your job never lets you down. In fact, you find that by the end of the day, your spirits have been lifted higher than what it was the last time you came home from work.

Especially nowadays.

Recently, a certain someone has been a part of nearly every single tour you have conducted within the past two weeks. He’s a tall man — sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the many old people and young children in the groups you guide. Not to mention, he's one of the most attractive people you have ever seen. Shaggy hair, brown eyes, and teeth that flash at you with every new piece of information you tell him, the man has somewhat stolen your heart. Even more so when he somehow finds you at the end of each guide to hound you for hours about the artists he found the most intriguing.

Kim Namjoon was his name, and given the many times he’s found you in the museum’s cafeteria after a guide, you’ve come to notice that the man has become such a frequent visitor he became eligible for the museum’s platinum gold membership card. Free sweet tea and admission to docent-guided tours, he took the upgrade and has since joined in on your groups.

There’s a pep and swing in your step as you make your way to work today. That twinge of nervousness you also contain shows as you shakily open the doors to the museum.

“You excited?” one of your best friends, Taehyung, asks. He’s smiling wide, clenching a pencil in his hand as he waits for your answer. You almost think he could be more excited than you with the way his eyes crinkle and his finger taps at the wood of the receptionists’ desk.

“You have no idea,” you laugh, swiping into the room that he stands in. You quickly clock in before you wipe your sweaty hands on the fabric of your skirt, hoping that your claminess goes away soon.

“I saw some of your pieces,” he faces you. “I still can’t believe those came from you! I know you’ve showed your pieces here before, but these are beyond anything I’ve ever seen you do. It’s like you went mad or something.”

You smile at his comment, a little blush forming on your face as you accept his compliment.

“That reminds me,” Taehyung grins once again. “A certain man by the name of Kim Namjoon is coming to your welcome exhibit. ‘Was the first to sign up.”

“I know,” you laugh. “He really likes art. It’s crazy how smart he is, too. I swear he grasps knowledge like a computer.”

“I dunno,” Taehyung purses his lips. “Seems he might like something else, too,”

“Stop it,” you shoot him a look. “Namjoon is an innocent nerd. Besides, I swear I’m like 10 years older than him.”

“Actually, 6 1/2,” Taehyung corrects.

“Point proven,” You observe while messing around with the computer in front of you.

“You do realize that there’s 5 other museum docents in this place, right?” your friend laughs. “Not to mention you usually conduct guides at the most inconvenient times for the general public. I doubt he’d come here and schedule tours with you if it meant he didn’t get to see you at any given moment during the week.”

“Have you ever thought of the possibility that maybe I'm just really good at my job?” you ask him teasingly.

“That’s not what I meant,” he laughs.

“I know,” you commence your teasing. “What I mean to say is, Namjoon is too… pure for that. I sincerely haven’t noticed a single flirtatious intent or ‘look in his eye’ during the multiple times he’s been here. Genuinely, he loves art and wants to know everything about it before moving on to learning about the next art style, time period, or artist he chooses to jump to next.”

“You could be right,” he looks to the door realizing that a customer has started walking up to the receptionist area. “Or he may have been asking me about you since before he started tagging along on your guides.”

----

You’re thinking about what Taehyung said all day.

He’s been asking about you? What specifically has he been asking about? And for how long has he been doing so before he started making an appearance at every guide you conducted?

Questions flood your mind, but excitement also overwhelms it.

Your exhibit has fully opened.

All your selected pieces for this have been displayed just like how you envisioned them to be. There's a crowd of people waiting to see what you’ve got, and best of all, Namjoon is there. He’s got a giant notebook in his hand, a cup of coffee in the other, and a big smile on his face as he spots you amongst the crowd.

You’re busy greeting critics, familiar faces, friends, family, and coworkers while you answer various questions and walk around the room explaining your art. You almost forget Namjoon is there until you get a free moment, and a tap on your shoulder sends a warm reminder that your eager art enthusiast has made it to your exhibit.

“I didn’t know you were an artist,” he smiles in awe while pointing to a painting near you two with the back of his pencil. “I have to say, though. Your pieces really make me think.”

“I’m no stranger to your questions, Namjoon. You know you can always ask me anything,” you blush.

“What was your muse?” he asks, still staring at the painting he pointed at. You have to turn around to look at which piece he’s talking about. Of course, this was one of your favorites out of all the pieces. You spent years on this one. Multiple trips to the same space out of the country, talks with natives, and fully immersing yourself like one. This one took the most thought and energy you’ve ever put into a piece. You’re flattered he’s mentioned this one out of all the others first.

“For this one, specifically? Or for the general theme of the exhibit?” you double-check.

“For this one — although, that was my second question,” he laughs. “I just happened to notice this one didn’t really match the theme. The rest all fall within a certain feeling, but this one caught my eye first.”

“I’m glad,” you banter. “This one is my favorite.”

“It’s mine, too,” he smirks, the warmness in his eyes flaming your entire body.

“As for the muse, it’s still hard to define,” you candor. “This one took the longest. So many stages of my 20s and mid-life crises and, well, life were all a mosh-pit of emotions on this one. I could only work on it in Iceland, too.”

“Iceland?”

“Yes,” you laugh at yourself. Saying it out loud, it sounded stranger than you thought it would. “So much inspiration came to me there. Before I knew it, I started saving the majority of my money just to travel there and work on this piece there.”

There's a pause. The business of the room engulfs you as the two of you look at your piece.

“I want to know you, Y/n,” he suddenly blurts out. You almost get whip-lash from how quickly you turn your head to face him once again. “You’re seriously such a talent to me. I want to know you and all your muses. What got you into art and art history and working here. All of it — I want to know it all.”

Now you’re seriously confused.

Maybe it was the way Taehyung told you that it was a likely possibility that Namjoon did like you despite your previous observations that he didn’t. Or maybe it's that glint in his eye that suggests that he truly wants to know more about you other than the fact that you work and present your art in the museum he frequently goes to. You don’t know. But you’ve always been opportunistic, so you take his mysterious sentiment into question.

“Namjoon, have you been talking about me with my co-worker?” you ask, that speed in your heartbeat making its way up your chest.

Namjoon blushes, smiling down at his notepad. “I knew that loser couldn’t keep his mouth shut,” he laughs to himself. “I have. But I promise, all good things.”

“Namjoon, I have to be honest. Taehyung did say some thi—”

“It’s all true,” he nods his head while looking back up at you. “Listen Y/n, as much as I love your tours, this was the one I wanted to go on the most. Your art, your voice, your presence —this is what I was the most curious about. All those questions about the artists I asked you about after those tours — I genuinely just loved listening to your passion. Hearing you talk about what you love and looking at you show off the work you put your soul into. I dunno, maybe I’ve developed a crush.”

Your heart beats out of your chest. Are you really that oblivious? You’re 6 1/2 years older than this man — you should know when a person has been crushing on you by now!

“Namjoon, I’m old,” you blurt, laughing at yourself. A part of you can't help but feel a little insecure about your age. One to two years and you're usually in the 'go' for a lot of romantic things and partnerships with others. But 6 1/2? That's more so unheard of nowadays.

“I could call you ajumma if you wanted,” he smiles teasingly.

“I’ll kill you,” you playfully threaten him. The flutter in your tummy is a little too overwhelming as he flashes his teeth at you, that look telling you that he’s really serious about this crush he’s developed.

“Seriously, Y/n, I couldn’t give a fuck about age,” he says. “I stand by the fact that I’d become gay and date a 570-year-old da Vinci if he were still alive today.”

“Art whore,” you laugh.

“So let me take you out,” he continues, simmering his laughter. “Coffee tomorrow at 10?”

You feel a strange weight lifted off your shoulders. Nodding your head at his question, you feel like you’ve maybe developed a new muse.

[End]

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[A/N]: Ajumma (아줌마) - [N], a Korean term referring to a married or middle-aged woman; typically a woman of one's parents' age or older.

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[End. Do not copy. Original work of @jungkookstatts , 2023] 

Next time | Kim Namjoon drabble

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; It was quite unexpected when a heavenly stranger joined you at the club's roof, just when you were feeling all alone.

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut(li8), dark(a little bit), fluff, strangers to??

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: namjoon x reader y/n

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: making out, heavy(sexual) tension in the air, nipple sucking, dry humping, calling reader princesse

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.9k+

a/n: Namjoon wearing glasses is my weakness ;-) and I'm not very knowledgeable about clubs. Well, Please forgive any errors if I may have made, but if you happen to spot any, kindly point them out to me.

© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲𝐲 [𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝]

The vibrant lights, booming music, and the overpowering scent of sweat from the crowd - it's all a nightmare for you. You're not one for clubs, but your best friend insisted. And by insisted, you mean she practically started a quarrel and argued with you until you gave in. She even went as far as choosing a black tight thigh-length V-neck dress for you, accentuating your cleavage. The makeup she applied was equally extravagant - a smokey eye look with a shimmery red lipstick. She may be a baby, but you nearly broke down in tears when you caught a glimpse of your own reflection in the full-length mirror. You've never worn that much makeup in your entire life, but her stubbornness won this time.

You've been sitting at the bar, your face buried in your hands, elbows resting on the glass counter, for about 15 minutes now. When you both entered the club, she tried to convince you to dance, but you had already done enough for the day and didn't want to be surrounded by sweaty bodies. So you told her to enjoy herself and even asked her to leave you alone. Little did you know, that wasn't such a great idea.

As you sit there, lost in your thoughts, the bartender suddenly comes into your line of vision. Your tired eyes gaze up at him, as he takes in your appearance - his eyes naturally drifting from your hidden cleavage to your face. Oddly enough, he doesn't appear interested at all. You sit up straighter, removing your face from your palms. Just as he turns away to walk off, not bothering to ask if you'd like to order something.

"Hey! Can I get a glass of orange juice?" you call out to him before he can take another step. He comes to a halt, turning around to face you once more. His expression remains as uninteresting as ever. You study him for a moment, your eyes landing on the name badge pinned to his white bartender suit, which reads 'Yoongi'. He simply nods and walks away.

'Strange'

After about five minutes, he returned with your drink and a bill, placing them in front of you on the counter. You thanked him, but he didn't reply. He was really starting to get on your nerves, but you still managed to smile as you took out the cash from your purse and handed it to him. He casually grabbed the bill from the counter and walked away, leaving you alone.

Sitting here has become quite challenging after that peculiar encounter with him. You had desperately craved some fresh air, so you tightly held onto your glass, rose from the stool, and made your way up to the roof.

The breeze up here is refreshing, causing a slight shiver to run down your spine. It's a welcome change from the lingering scent of sweaty bodies that had been assaulting your nostrils while you were perched on that fancy stool. Leaning on the railing, your elbows find support as you tightly grip your glass. You bite your lower lip, moistening it with your tongue before bringing the glass to your lips. In one swift motion, you gulp down the orange juice and carefully place the glass on the floor, ensuring it's far enough from anyone's step to avoid any accidents.

With your chin resting on your bent elbows, you find yourself captivated by the view of the streets below. The towering buildings resemble giant pencils, and the wind playfully tousles your wavy hair as it dances around you.

Suddenly, the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupts your reverie. You turn your head to the left and there stands a breathtakingly beautiful being, almost ethereal in nature. Your mind momentarily stops functioning, and your heart seems to follow suit. While your head remains nestled in your arms on the railing, your focus shifts from the cityscape to this angelic presence before you.

He gazes back at you, his eyes shining through the transparent frames of his glasses, captivating you with their beauty. His petite nose adds to his overall charm, and his perfectly styled blonde hair, revealing his forehead completely, leaves you in awe. Dressed impeccably in a plain black pant, white button-up shirt, and waistcoat, his hands casually tucked into his pockets, he exudes an air of effortless style. And those lips, naturally pink and enticing, prompt you to moisten your own with your tongue. You find yourself not just staring, but thoroughly checking out this stranger. A small gulp escapes your throat as you straighten your posture, lifting your chin from your arms and smoothing your hands over your dress. The fabric clings to your body curves, accentuating your cleavage and bare legs, but you try to ignore it as best as you can.

"Why are you up here?" his voice breaks the silence, sending shivers down your spine. It's deep, rough, and undeniably captivating. Glancing up towards him, you're met with a sight that leaves you breathless. His muscular physique is accentuated by the fabric that wraps around him perfectly, and every defined muscle is visible beneath the surface.

In an attempt to steady your voice, you clear your throat, not wanting it to waver in front of him.

"Not a party person," you reply, shrugging your shoulders slightly. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he shifts his gaze away from your face, focusing on the front. However, your attention is momentarily diverted by the beautiful dimple that forms on his cheeks when he smiles. You quickly avert your gaze as well and focus on your ahead.

"I'm not much of a party person either," he says, still looking straight ahead. Curiosity sparks inside your mind, and you can't help but wonder why he's here.

"Then why are you here?" The words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them, hanging in the air as you realize you haven't received an answer. Embarrassment floods your stomach, and your face flushes with heat. You quickly clear your throat, ready to apologize for the intrusive question. When you look at him, you're taken aback to find him already staring at you. Your lips part slightly, and a breath escapes, unable to contain your surprise. His gaze lingers on your red-painted lips before meeting your eyes once again.

"I had a meeting with the club's owner," he replies, his gaze still locked with yours. As his words reach your ears, it feels like a wave of relief washes over you, momentarily dissipating your embarrassment. You break the eye contact first, not daring to delve deeper into his captivating gaze. You know that his looks, his voice, everything about him is melting you from the inside out.

Yet, you can still feel his eyes on you, studying your every move and posture.

"Want to know the same thing" he inquired, you bite your lower lip between you teeth. His curiosity about why you're here piques your interest, making your heart do a little flip in your chest. Your eyes meet his once more, you averted your gaze for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts, before meeting his intense gaze once again.

"Well," you began, your voice slightly shaky, "Lila, my best friend, practically dragged me here. She insisted that I needed a change of scenery, a break from my monotonous routine. And, well, I couldn't say no to her."

A small smile played on your lips as you reminisced about all the crazy adventures you and Lila had shared. The late-night phone calls, the impromptu road trips, and yes, even the times when you had to rescue her from her drunken escapades. You had always been there for her, like a protective elder sister.

As you spoke, you noticed a flicker of amusement in his eyes, and a mischievous dimple appeared on his cheek. It was a sight that made your heart flutter uncontrollably again. Your smile transformed into something more than just friendly, something that revealed your growing attraction towards this handsome stranger standing before you.

His gaze changed, turning darker as he observed the sudden shift in your expression. He took a step closer, until you were almost chest to chest. The sudden proximity sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but gulp nervously, feeling the tension thickening in the air. The chilly wind only seemed to enhance the heat radiating from your body.

His intense eyes bore into yours, as if he could devour you whole with just one bite. You feel a gentle touch on your face, his long fingers delicately brushing with a strand of hair that had fallen in front of your left eye. He twists it between his fingers before tucking it behind your ear. The simple gesture sends shivers down your spine, and your body instinctively reacts, leaning into his touch. Your eyes flutter closed, surrendering to the sensation. His hand on your jaw caused you to lean in even closer, but the subtle touch of his thumb on your lower lip, causing your eyes to flutter open. You meet his gaze from beneath your long lashes, feeling a magnetic pull between you. In that moment, all other thoughts fade away, leaving only one desire lingering in your mind - to kiss him.

His thumb continues to brush against your bottom lip, its feather-light touch sending tingles through your body. He leans in closer, his warm breath caressing your ear, causing you to shiver even more. Your thighs clench involuntarily, a physical response to the overwhelming sensations coursing through you.

"You're so beautiful. What's your name?" In a low, husky voice, he breaks the silence, his words dripping with admiration, his voice is like a sweet melody mixed with a hint of spice, intoxicating and irresistible. As he pulls away slightly, you already feel the absence of his warm breath on your ear. His hand remains on your jaw, and you nervously nibble on your bottom lip, unsure how to handle this enchanting stranger.

His gaze fixates on your lips, and he gently removes your bottom lip from between your teeth with his thumb. He resumes rubbing it with his thumb pad, sending a jolt of electricity through you. You know you have to answer, or else your legs might give out beneath you.

"Y/N," you whisper your name, your voice barely audible. You can feel yourself losing control, your senses overwhelmed by his presence. You're certain that your panties are clinging to your core, a testament to the desire he has ignited within you. He hums, his eyes locked onto yours, then your lips, and back to your eyes again.

"Namjoon" He introduced himself, even though you didn't inquire. You repeat his name in a hushed tone, and it flows from your mouth as if it was meant to be. It sounds perfect.

His eyes were also fixed on you from the moment he saw you standing alone, observing every little movement of your body, the way your features seemed to effortlessly fit into his hand, and how smoothly his name rolled off your tongue.

Your heart began to race, the desire to kiss him overwhelming you as soon as he entered your line of sight. You tried to control yourself, but now when he shared his name with you, all you wanted to do was utter it over and over again.

But then, just as quickly as he came close, he pulled away, taking a step back. Your eyes widened in disbelief, confused by his actions after making you feel so hot with his touch. His expression remains dark, but there's a hint of something different in his eyes now. It's as if he's about to do something he'll regret, or perhaps something you can't even fathom. Your heart feels heavy all of a sudden, and he gives you an inscrutable look, your brows pinched together. Then, he turned to his left and headed towards the rooftop exit.

'No, no.'

He's about to leave you, and you know you have to act.

Remembering Lila's advice about seizing the moment when something felt right, your mind urged you to stop him, and you made up your mind to do just that. Stepping towards him, you caught his muscular wrist in your small hand before he could take another step. He halts in his tracks, tilting his head to look back at you. Without hesitation, you stand on your tiptoes, even though you were wearing heels, you still stand much shorter than him. You press your lips against his without hesitation, eyes closed. His lips feel like soft cotton, so plump and different from what you had imagined.

You pulled away from the kiss, feeling a sense of unease when you realized his lips weren't responding. Guilt flooded your heart as you reluctantly opened your eyes to meet his gaze, which seemed to have been fixed on you the entire time. Nervously, you released his wrist from your grasp and took a cautious step back. Your eyes start to sting, but you hold back the tears, directing your gaze downward to your heels. Massaging your temple, you clear your throat, preparing yourself to apologize for crossing a line.

The weight of your mistake settled heavily on your shoulders, filling you with a sense of regret that seemed to stretch into eternity.

However, before you can utter a single word of apology, he closes the distance between you in a single stride. Without hesitation, without warning, he cups your face with his large hands and in an instant, his lips crash against yours in an intense and passionate kiss. Your feet stumbled backward until your back met the railing, and you instinctively clutched onto his shoulder for support. The pounding of your heart resonates so loudly within your chest that you can hardly hear anything else. He begins to suck and nibble on your bottom lip, causing a low moan to escape from deep within your throat.

He breaks the kiss with a soft pop, the sound lingering in the air as your breaths synchronize. Both of you are panting heavily, the intensity of the moment leaving you both gasping for air. He takes off his glasses, revealing his perfect face, and tucks them away in his pants pocket. Without breaking eye contact, he leans in for another kiss, his desire evident in his eyes.

Once again, his lips capture yours, but this time the kiss is different. It's sloppy, hungry, filled with a raw passion that consumes you both. You try to match his movements, but his lips are dominant, taking control of the kiss. He slips his tongue into your mouth, exploring every inch with a fervor that leaves you weak in the knees.

"Stick your tongue out, y/n," he orders, his voice husky and filled with desire. His hands roam from your neck to your waist, then down to your hips, pulling you closer to him. You obey without hesitation, your body responding to his command like a well-trained child. He wastes no time and starts sucking on your tongue, teasing and biting it gently.

Your eyes shut tightly as pleasure courses through your body, making you wet with anticipation. Your hands wander from his shoulders to his perfectly styled blonde locks, gripping it tightly as the sensations overwhelm you. Your knees begin to wobble, making it difficult to stand, but you can't bring yourself to break the kiss just yet.

After felt like eternity, desperate for air, you try to withdraw your tongue, a silent plea for him to stop. He senses your need and releases you, both of you gasping for breath. As you open your eyes, you're met with the sight of his face so close to yours, causing your heart to race even faster. His lips are swollen, his eyes hooded, his jaw clenching and unclenching with desire. He looks ethereal, a perfect blend of beauty and handsomeness that leaves you craving for more.

Your body aches for him, your wet core yearning for his touch. Unable to resist, you grind against his clothed, hard erection, feeling a surge of pleasure shoot through you. A gasp escapes your lips as you realize just how big he is, and his own groan echoes in the air as your hips move against him once again. The desire between you both is palpable, and you know that you want more.

"Please, I.." you try to convey your request to him, to convey your desires to him.

He suddenly takes action by firmly grabbing your buttocks, causing you to let out a surprised gasp. The sensation makes you momentarily forget what you were about to say, and in the blink of an eye, he effortlessly lifts you up by your hips. Your legs instinctively wrap around his well-defined torso, while your arms find their way around his neck.

You can feel his sweaty hair brushing against your arms.

"You're going to lose yourself entirely, princesse," he murmurs in that seductive accent of his, using the endearing nickname he uses for you. Just as you plan to respond, he silences you by placing his mouth on your neck. First, he nibbles, then sucks, and licks at the same spot, causing you to whimper. Your back arches automatically, and your head falls back, granting him even greater access to your neck. Suddenly, your eyes snap open when you feel an absence behind your head. You realize you're leaning over the railing, with only the lower half of your body supported by him. Your survival now depends on clinging tightly to him, preventing you from falling off the rooftop.

"Mhm, listen..." you try to get his attention by tapping his shoulder, signaling that you are in a precarious situation. But he doesn't stop; instead, you can sense his smirk against your neck as he continues to shower you with affectionate kisses. Your mind is in a whirlwind, torn between the arousal coursing through your body and the danger of your current position.

'Fuck, this is what he meant,'

He began thrusting his cock through the thick fabric of his pants, instantly blocking out all other thoughts. The rush of adrenaline from being on the edge of the roof and the powerful movements of his hips consumed your mind completely.

"Namjoon, oh fuck Joon.." you couldn't help but moan his name over and over again as he intensified his grinding, simultaneously sucking harder on your neck. Your stomach twisted with desire, and you instinctively clutched onto his blonde hair. His wet kisses trailed downwards, and then his sinful lips makes contact with your nipple, which was concealed beneath the fabric of your dress and his wet tongue playfully swirled around the sensitive bud. The pleasure was so intense that it forced a high-pitched moan to escape from deep within your throat.

Your mind felt numb, overwhelmed by the delicious stimulation. Each rhythmic thrust, his hard cock through his pants teasing your clothed core, and the skillful touch of his lips on your clothed nipple was an intoxicating combination. The fear of falling added an extra layer of excitement to the already electrifying atmosphere.

A distant ringing sound reached your ears, but you were too consumed by the moment to pay it any attention. You assumed it was just your ears playing tricks on you. However, the sound seemed oddly familiar. His lips and grinding abruptly stopped, causing you to whimper in disbelief. Your brow furrowed, eyes still closed, as his lips broke contact with your breast. Confusion washed over you as you tried to comprehend what was happening. The ringing sound persisted, growing louder, but it felt as if it was coming from a distance.

You opened your eyes, breathing heavily, desperate to understand why everything had suddenly come to a halt. The ringing continued to echo in your ears, resembling the buzzing of bees. And then, your gaze met his dark eyes.

"Your phone," he said, his voice deep and rough. But you couldn't comprehend his words. Confusion etched across your face, your eyebrow shooting up to touch your hairline.

"Huh?" you managed to utter, still lost in the haze of the moment.

"Someone's calling you," he repeated, directing his gaze towards your purse on the floor. And then it hit you, why the ringing had sounded so familiar. Your face flushed an even deeper shade of red, your cheeks feeling as if they were on fire.

He gently places you down, and your heels wobble beneath you, but you manage to grab onto his shirt just in time to prevent yourself from falling to the ground. You glance at him apologetically, but he simply nods his head slightly, a faint smile forming on his lips, revealing the same dimple as before.

Releasing your grip on his shirt, you turn around and bend down to retrieve your purse from the floor.

You straighten up abruptly, when you sense him taking a deep breath. You run your hands over your dress, smoothing out any wrinkles. You reach for your phone, and notice that the screen is still illuminated with Lila's name. You choose not to answer the call, knowing that she's probably completely intoxicated. She has never called you this many times in her entire life, except when she's drunk.

You turn back to face him, and there he stands, looking like a model with his hands tucked into his pockets and a few strands of his blonde hair falling onto his forehead. You swallow nervously before offering him a cautious smile.

"My friend needs me," you inform him, raising your phone in the air to show him the screen, even though he didn't ask. He hums in response and retrieves his glasses from his pocket, placing them back on his face. You can see the muscles beneath his thick shirt flexing with each movement.

"I should go," you speak up when he remains silent, feeling the awkwardness fill the air. With your legs still feeling a bit unsteady, you begin to take slow steps towards the exit to the rooftop.

As you reached the door, a wave of sadness filled your heart knowing that he didn't try to stop you. But just as you were about to leave, he suddenly grabs your wrist, causing you to turn around in surprise. A wave of relief washes over you.

"Here, take this. Let's meet next time," he says softly, placing a card in your hand.

Leaning in close, his warm breath tickles your ear as he adds, "And then we'll continue our remainder session." His voice husky, barely audible, causing a shiver of excitement run through your whole body.

With that, he releases your wrist, and you hold onto the card tightly, a smile playing on your lips. Your once heavy heart now feels light and free.

You nod as he takes a step back, revealing a perfect dimple on his cheek. With admiration in your eyes, you take one last look at him before exiting the roof.

As you made your way off the roof, the sound of your footsteps echoed in your ears, matching the rhythm of your racing heart. The card in your hand felt like a precious treasure, a tangible reminder of the connection you had just shared.

As you descended the stairs, your mind began to wander, replaying the encounter over and over again. His words echoed in your mind, each syllable carrying a promise of something more. The thought of meeting again, of continuing the session that had been interrupted, filled you with a mix of excitement and nervousness.