Unexpected Encounter

Unexpected encounter

This is an Eddie Diaz fanfiction I have written and I am actually quite proud of it.

I planned to do a part 2 to this bc it ends on a cliffhanger but haven't had any idea what to write in the second part so if anyone has an idea feel free to send it in.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedbak, I am open for it. <3

(Past domestic violence is mentioned (but only in a short part) so if anyone isn't comfortable with that please don't read it <3)

Summary: After (Y/N) leaves her husband and moves in with her twin brother, Buck, he takes her and her daughter to the fire station where he works, and there she meets someone from her past.

Just a knock on the door. It couldn’t be that hard, (Y/N) thought to herself as she stood in front of a wooden door.

Her daughter impatiently tugged on her sleeve. "Mommy. I knock? “

“Of course you can knock, sweety. “, (Y/N) said with a reassuring smile on her face. She knew she wouldn’t be able to knock on that door, so she could as well just let her daughter do it.

The 3-year-old girl gently knocked on the door with her hand in a tiny fist.

Slowly the door opened and on the other side stood a man with curly, blonde hair and a birthmark right above his eye.

“(Y/N)? Riley? Heyyy! What are you doing here? Is everything ok?”

“Uncle Evan!“ Riley hugged Evan’s leg, where her arms barely fit around. The young man scooped Riley up in one swift motion and pressed a sloppy kiss on the girl’s cheek.

“Can we stay here? Just for a few days?” (Y/N) pulled the collar of her thin pullover as much over her neck as possible. When her brother moved to embrace her, he couldn’t help but notice her flinch at the gentle touch.

“Course you can. You don’t have to ask.” He gave her a tender kiss on the birthmark over her eye, which was identical to his own one.

“Thanks.” Evan looked at her with a worried expression.

“It is late. Riley should probably go to sleep”, (Y/N) said, nodding at her daughter’s direction who already started to doze off in her uncle’s arms.

“I’ll bring her to the guest’s room.” Evan always had a small guest room prepared for the case his twin sister and his niece would come over, which he knew they eventually would, as soon as he had seen (Y/N)’s boyfriend.

(Y/N) settled on a chair in the kitchen. It was the first time she was in Evan’s new apartment and she had to admit she liked it. It was cleaner than she thought it would be. Most of the furniture was grey, some of it white. She only had to wait 5 minutes until her brother came back.

“Is she asleep?” (Y/N) whispered even though she wasn’t sure why.

“Yeah, she was pretty exhausted and didn’t even want me to read her a story.”

He heard his sister making an acknowledging sound. “So, now tell me why you are here.”

“Nothing. Really. I just wanted to see how my little brother is doing.” She tried to force a smile on her face but she could tell of Evan’s gaze that he didn’t believe her.

“First of all. I am only 3 minutes younger than you are, and second, I will give you another chance to tell me the truth. You haven’t visited me in 2 years, (Y/N). You didn’t write me a single message. It was always me. So, I just can’t believe you, when you say everything is fine.”

“I am so sor-“

“No. Wait. I didn’t want you to feel guilty. Don’t apologize. Just… please tell me what happened.” (Y/N) could still see the concerned expression all over Evan’s face and she felt her heart and breathing rate increase.

“Ben… He… he… God, I still can’t believe it.”

“What can’t you believe?” Evan lay a comforting hand on her shoulder while he tilted her chin up so she could look at him.”

“He held me… He pressed me to the wall. Riley had to watch it. Ben just held me tightly. He said that was some kind of punishment.” (Y/N) felt a tear rolling over her cheek, all the way down her chin, her neck until it disappeared under her collar.

“Punishment? For what?” (Y/N) could see Evan clenching his left hand into a tight fist.

“Because I didn’t make dinner in time.” She let out a hysterical laughter. “He hit me… more than once.” Evan sucked in a deep breath while staring at the ceiling as if searching for some kind of answer what he should say next.

“Where?” (Y/N) looked confused. What does her brother want to know? Where her boyfriend was? Because she definitely wouldn’t tell him as she was sure it would make Evan immediately drive to Ben’s house to beat the hell out of him until he was barely alive anymore. She definitely wasn’t going to let her brother do it.

Evan seemed to sense her apprehension. “Where did he hit you? Are the injuries bad? Can I have a look?”

(Y/N) shrugged with her shoulders. If it made her brother calm down a bit and stop worrying about her, why not?

“He hit me in my abdomen and chest.” She looked up at the ceiling, just like Evan did a few seconds before, in an attempt to stop the tears which still wet her cheeks.

Slowly, Evan pulled (Y/N) pullover up just to be faced with many, dark blue bruises on his twin’s upper body. He gently palpated it and noticed how she flinched away from his touch.

“Sorry.” He also had a look at her wrists where Ben had to pin her on the wall as he could see some swelling.

“I will take you to hospital tomorrow.” Evan looked at her with a stern look.

“No! I can’t! I don’t want anyone to see it and I just can’t. He could see if I use my health insurance and no! Evan please!” The tears (Y/N) just managed to hold back just flow over her cheeks again.

“Ok, ok. I understand. And would it be ok if I took you to the station and let someone of our medics take a look at you? Just to be sure there is nothing serious going on?”

After some minutes of considering, (Y/N) agreed, even though she was nervous. She would meet her brother’s colleagues for the first time while looking like that. Having bruises on her whole body, scared, exhausted.

“By the way, why didn’t you go to Maddie? Why did you come here? I am sure Maddie would be the better choice in that case.” Evan curiously looked at his sister, who he couldn’t help but notice looked exhausted and kind of weak. Not like he used to know her. Strong, independent. Ben took a part from her she would have to fight for, to get it back.

“Because she is not my twin. She would tell me I have to face him again to come over it, but right now, I just need someone to listen. Someone to care. Someone to worry. Someone to hold me. And Maddie is great, but right now I need you.” Evan stepped another step forward and hugged (Y/N) as tightly as possible. She felt skinny. Skinnier than the last time. With that in mind he noticed, that also her face wasn’t as round as before. Her cute cheeks in which he always pinched, just to make her annoyed, were gone, so he went to the fridge, with his sister still in his arms, to get her something to eat.

“Thank you, Evan.”

“No problem. And I go by Buck now.”

“I won’t ever call you that”, (Y/N) said while laughing. Evan was glad it was a real laugh. Not a faked, or hysterical one. It was an honest laugh; the same one he has heard for so many years.

___

The next day, (Y/N) changed Riley into a cute dress – Evan didn’t even change her into her pajamas last night, she needs to teach him a lot – and they made their way to the station. Evan invited er to have lunch with the crew before letting someone assess her injuries to make sure she was comfortable around them.

Riley had her stuffed bunny pressed tightly to her chest as the big city was a bit overwhelming to the 3-year-old. (Y/N) knew it would be like that, as she has always lived in a small town with Riley and Ben.

“Mommy? Big truck”, the girl mumbled as she pointed to the red firetruck which was just about to drive around the corner. The sirens weren’t on, as well as the blue lights, which made (Y/N) figure out that they had just come back from a call.

“Yes, Riley. That’s a big firetruck.”

Only 2 minutes later, Riley stood, her hand clutching tightly onto her mom’s, in front of the big fire station.

“We go in?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Let’s go.”

The fire station was a big hall, with an engine, a ladder truck and two ambulances standing in the middle. A man who was maybe 50 years old, came to her.

“Hello! You have to be (Y/N), I am Bobby.”

“Uhm… yes.”

“You can just come with me. Buck is already waiting for you. Afraid, the food is not finished yet, but it’ll soon be. Buck said that little one loves Pasta so I made that. Is that ok with you?”

What Bobby said, made (Y/N)’s tears well up again. He even made her girlie’s favorite food.

“Yes, of course. Thank you.”

“It no problem. I actually was glad that I could make pasta instead of something which needs hours to cook.”

(Y/N) smiled and followed the captain up the stairs to a beautiful, big kitchen, she could only dream of. There also stood a couch in front of a flatscreen, where the news channel was playing on mute.

“Hey sis! You are early. Are you okay?”

“Stop worrying, Evan! I am not going to die. I feel great. Exhausted and tired but physically I am absolutely well.” (Y/N) gently nudged Evan, who barely moved at the touch, and just smiled at his twin sister.

Her brother knelt down to be on the same level as Riley.

“Hey cutie”, he cooed, when he noticed how tightly she clutched onto her bunny and tried to hide her face with it. “You want to come to uncle Evan?” The girl hesitantly let go of her mom’s hand to let Evan scoop her up on his arms, where she nestled her head on his shoulder.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to the team”, Evan said while a grin spread over his face.

He led his sister to a woman and a man who were sitting on the couch, (Y/N) noticed before, and while the man was on his phone, the woman read a medical book.

“Guys, this is (Y/N), my sister, and my niece Riley. (Y/N), this are Hen and Chimney.” Both firefighters looked up from what they were focusing at, and smiled kindly.

“Hey (Y/N)! It is so nice to finally meet you! Buck talks a lot about you and your daughter.” Hen stood up to hug her (Y/N) tightly.

Why are they so kind? They just met her. Did Evan say something why she was here and that is why they are like that? But on the other hand, Hen looked honestly kind.

“It is nice to meet y’all too. Riley? You want to say hi to Hen and Chimney?”

“Hi.” (Y/N) proudly looked at her daughter, who was normally very shy and didn’t like talking to strangers. Now, she was happy that Riley at least said something as simple as a ‘Hi”.

Evan led (Y/N) further to a young firefighter whose name was Ravi, and he was as nice as the others.

A few seconds later, a woman in a police uniform came in.

“Ah! (Y/N), this is Sergeant Athena Grant. Bobby’s wife. Athena, this is (Y/N).”

“Hi. It is great to finally meet you! Buck told us so much about you. I think I know more about you than about him! And you look very pretty in that dress!”

(Y/N) looked down at her dress, which was pink and was out of thin material so it was perfect for hot summers like this year’s.

“Thank you! And it is so nice to meet you too! Evan talked about you and your husband as if you were his second parents. I really feel like I have already met you!”

“Did he? Well, that’s nice to hear.” Athena had a smile on her face, which made (Y/N) feel reassured. She had been scared, that nobody would like her, but she was surprised how everyone welcomed her, and were like a big family. “So why do you call Buck ‘Evan’? He never lets anyone call him that. Didn’t he mention he goes by Buck?”

“Oh, he did. But I am used to call him Evan so I will just stick to that. A twin should have the right to call him that.”

“Ah yes. That’s understandable. We can talk a bit more later. Now I am going to see how my husband is doing.”

“So that was Athena. I really like her!”

“Yes, she is great.” (Y/N) had never seen her brother as happy as he was now, and she had to say, that she was glad about that. He seems to fit into that station. They accepted him just the way he was, not like their parents did, when they were young.

“I’ll introduce you to Eddie later. He is still checking the equipment.” While he said that another man came into the station. He didn’t seem to be a firefighter, as he was only wearing a shirt and shorts.

“Evan!” (Y/N) looked at her brother, the confusion written all over her face. She thought that Athena said, he didn’t let anyone call him Evan anymore. So why was that guy not calling him Buck?

“Tommy! Hey! How are you?”

“I am excellent! But are you ok, too? You still want to do it?” Evan nodded and seemed to finally realize the confusion on his twin’s face, but didn’t say anything.

___ Only a few minutes later, the 118 and (Y/N), as well as her daughter, who was contently sitting on Evan’s lap while eating her pasta, sat on the dinner table, when a man ran up the stairs.

“Sorry guys. Equipment was empty so I had to fill it up. What’d I miss?”

(Y/N) knew that voice. She knew the person, that this voice belonged to. Slowly she turned her head, hoping she was wrong. But she immediately gave up hope when she looked into the firefighter’s friendly face. (Y/N) could see his smile disappear when he saw her.

“(Y/N)?” She cleared her throat.

“Eddie. Nice to see you.”

“Umm. Yes. Great.” Why did he show her the cold shoulder? She wasn’t the one who had left. She didn’t come here just to see him. And since when was he even here in LA?  

“You guys know each other?”, Bobby asked when he saw them exchanging confused looks.

“Yes. We met some years ago”, (Y/N) said with a faked smile on her face. She watched as Eddie sat down at the other end of the table, even though there was a better place, opposite to her. Idiot, (Y/N) thought to herself.

Just then Eddie seemed to notice Riley, who was still sitting on Evan’s lap, not knowing what was going on. She could see the panic in Eddie’s eyes when he looked at her so she tried to avoid his gaze.

“Your daughter?”

“Mhm.”

“How old is she?”

“Three and a half.”

(Y/N) could see the other’s confused gazes, as they wondered why Eddie wasn’t asking what the girl’s name was. He immediately asked how old she was.

“What’s your name, sweety?”, Eddie asked the little one.

After looking at her mom, silently asking for permission, she whispered a silent “Riley”.

“Hey Riley. I am Eddie. (Y/N). We need to talk. Now!” (Y/N) slowly stood up from where she was sitting, following Eddie downstairs, after excusing herself, leaving the other 118 members confused.

“Am I right, when I am assuming she is my daughter?”

(Y/N) nodded.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?! I wouldn’t have left if you told me!”

“Right! You wouldn’t have left me for our daughter. How do you imagine that? Us being happy again, just because we have a baby? Eddie. That’s not how it works.”

“But maybe I would have tried more!”

“So, you say your daughter would have been worth fighting for but I wasn’t? That just shows me it was right to not tell you about her. I would like to go back to the team now. I was invited for lunch by my brother, so I don’t want to miss that.”

Eddie grabbed (Y/N)’s wrist to stop her from going away.

“Ouch! Damn Eddie! What the fuck are you doing?!” Her wrists still hurt from Ben holding them to tight during their fight. She could immediately feel her heart beating faster, her breathing becoming shallow and fast. She knew the signs of an incoming panic attack.

Her eyes were beginning to well up as she was back in that moment. She didn’t see Eddie anymore. She could only think of how Ben was pinning her to the wall, not letting her go.

Eddie seemed to notice the signs too. He immediately let go of her arm.

“I am sorry (Y/N).” He worried as he didn’t receive an answer. “Hey! (Y/N)? Can you hear me? Fuck!”

All Eddie could see was the panic in (Y/N)’s eyes. The tears. How shallow and fast her breathing was.

“Hey?! I need help down here!”

Almost immediately Buck, Hen and Bobby ran down the stairs.

“Hen! Grab the medkit.”

“Fuck! Eddie, what have you done?”, was all Buck said before grabbing his sister by her shoulders and gently shaking her.

“I did nothing! We just talked and then she wanted to go and I grabbed her – gently - so she can’t just run away and she let out a pained cry and then she went straight into a panic attack!”

“Shit! Where did you grab her?” Evan looked at Eddie with a furious but concerned face.

“Just her wrist!” Eddie looked confused and a bit panicked, as he had never seen (Y/N) having a panic attack.

“Damn!” Evan still tried to make (Y/N) talk to him but it didn’t seem to work, so he led his sister to a bench nearby. In the meanwhile, Hen came back with the medkit. Eddie immediately pulled out a pulse-oximeter which he put on (Y/N)’s index finger.

Next, he took the bp cuff while Hen looked at the numbers on the pulse-oximeter, which were blinking, while the device was beeping loudly.

“Pulse is at 126, stats are at 93%.”

“Let’s get her some oxygen”, Eddie said, so Hen immediately went to get the oxygen tank. “Hey (Y/N). Listen to me. I didn’t want to get mad. I just was surprised. Can you try to breathe slowly? For me? Please try it.” Eddie took some deep breaths to show (Y/N) how to do it. What had he just done to make her that anxious that she went straight onto a panic attack?

Slowly, (Y/N)’s breathing started to get better.

“Buck? Do you know what was going on? What happened?”

“She had a bad fight with her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. I am not so sure about that. He hit her and grabbed her. Pinned her to the wall. I think you grabbing her wrist brought the memories back and made it feel too real. I brought her here today, so you guys could have a look at her injuries as she didn’t want to go to hospital. I didn’t think she would have a panic attack! I wanted her to have a good day!” Evan still looked worried at (Y/N).

“Buck. It is not your fault. I made her panic. I was mad at her.” His best friend doesn’t just look worried anymore, now he also looked confused.

“What was even going on that you were mad? You never said that you knew my sister!”

“Why should I know that my (Y/N) is your (Y/N)? And I think she should tell you what was going on. That is not about me. I mean it is. But I shouldn’t tell you.” Eddie furrowed his brow.

(Y/N), who was still breathing into the oxygen mask, shot Eddie a thankful gaze. Her panic started to slowly ebb away, but she still felt dizzy and could feel her heart racing. Eddie carefully lifted her hand up to look at the pulse-oximeter once more, the numbers on it were stabilizing which made him let out a deep, relieved breath.

“(Y/N)? May I have a look at the injuries Buck mentioned?”, the man asked with a soft voice. (Y/N) nodded after looking at her brother just to get a reassuring gaze.

Eddie lifted her pullover up a bit, what was followed by a hissing sound he let out, as he saw the purple bruises all over her upper body. He gently pressed on different places, apologizing as (Y/N) let out a silent whimper.

“I don’t see any concerning injuries. They are going to hurt for a few days, but then you will be ok. Buck said that was you ex?” He took a deep breath as he saw (Y/N) nodding.

“Yes, but I really don’t want to talk about that now. Can I maybe finish my food and then go home?”

“Yes, of course”, Evan said, before leading (Y/N) upstairs, closely followed by Eddie, Hen and Bobby.

Riley still sat on the dinner table, now on Tommy’s lap, instead of Buck’s. She was babbling something, only she could understand, a serious look on her face.

Tommy was smiling and nodding, and (Y/N) noticed the way her brother looked at the man. Were they friends? Evan never mentioned Tommy, so they couldn’t be friends since long.

“Mommy! Pasta yummy! Tommy great!” The little girl smiled happily at her mom.

“I gave her a chocolate pudding. I hope that’s ok?”

“Yes. She loves chocolate.” (Y/N)’s voice sounded a little hoarse and her throat felt tight and sore. The young mom looked at Eddie and immediately sees his heartwarming gaze. “Riley? Do you want to go to Eddie for a moment? I am sure he wants to show you the firetruck.”

“Big car?”

“Yes, the big car. Do you want to see it?” The three-year-old grinned and toddled over to Eddie, who she doesn’t know yet, is her dad. He thankfully looked at (Y/N) before he scooped the toddler up and went downstairs with her.

“Ok, sis. You really need to tell me what’s going on between you and Eddie!” Evan looked at his twin, desperate for information.

“We had a thing. A bit over four years ago.”

“Four years? Is Riley…?”

“Yep. She is his daughter if you wanted to know that.”

“Oh. Wow. My sister and my best friend have a kid. You know Eddie has a son, right?”

“I do. I have often seen Chris when Eddie and I were dating. He is such a sweetheart. He actually didn’t want to leave when Eddie left.” (Y/N) felt the tears welling up in her eyes again. She always loved Chris. She thought of him as if he was her own son. In the two years in which she was dating Eddie, she often spent time with Chris. They visited the zoo or the aquarium. She would have done everything for the little boy, who she thought had to had grown since she has seen him the last time. What age is he now? 13?

“Yes, he is someone special. He is a happy person. Has grown up in the last few years. He had his first dates just a few weeks ago.” Evan knew that (Y/N) needed to know that. She had to know that this little guy is now a young man.

“Dates? Plural?” (Y/N) raised an eyebrow, which made Evan laugh.

“Yes. Dates. Eddie asked me to talk to him about that, which I did.”

“Eddie asked you to talk to his son about dating?” She laughed. Evan wasn’t a good person to ask for dating advice. She did once, but the only ‘advice’ she had gotten was, she should just wear shorts and a short top and her crush would immediately notice her. Since that day, (Y/N) has never asked her twin for dating advice again.

“Yes, he did. And Chris had some problems. Said, that everyone would leave anyway. His mom, Carla, Ana, maybe even you. It was hard for him to see that. But I think he understands it now. I mean why they have left.” His sister looked confused.

“Shannon left? And who the fuck are Carla and Ana.” Buck could tell that his sister was a bit jealous.  She wondered who Carla and Ana were. Were they girlfriends of Eddie?

“Shannon didn’t exactly leave. I mean she did, but Chris didn’t know at first. She died shortly after she had told Eddie, that she would leave. And Carla takes care of Chris when Eddie’s at work. She worked for my ex and when Eddie came with Chris, he didn’t exactly know what to do so I introduced him to her. And Ana is Eddie’s ex. They broke up after Eddie had a panic attack and realized he didn’t really love her.” Evan laughed at his twin’s face. She looked absolutely overwhelmed by information.

“Wait. Shannon died? I met her a few times; this is so sad. She was a nice person. She was always friendly. We even were shopping once. And Carla isn’t Eddie’s girlfriend or ex? And Eddie had a panic attack? That is so confusing.” (Y/N) furrowed her brow.

“Yes. She died a few years ago. It was an accident. He even was on the scene. And nope. Carla wasn’t and still isn’t Eddie’s girlfriend.” Evan looked at his sister. “You still love him.” It wasn’t a question. He knew it. He could tell by the way (Y/N) looked at Eddie. How she wanted to know if Eddie was free.

But (Y/N) knew she didn’t want to still be in love with Eddie. He left once. What if he would leave again. Right now, she couldn’t even take her eyes off him, showing Riley the firetruck, because she was scared if he could do anything wrong. She didn’t trust him anymore. Not like she used to.

“I don’t want to talk about me anymore. Let’s talk about you. Who is Tommy? You have never mentioned him before.” (Y/N) looked at Evan as he seemed to be really interested in the ceiling, he was staring at.

“Um. I am honestly not really sure.” He cleared his throat, desperately searching for his next words. “We… I like him. So, we were on a date. I asked him to be my date at Maddie’s wedding, after things didn’t go well at the date and I have talked to Maddie and Eddie and they gave me some good advice. Not like I used to.” Evan chuckled, as well as his sister.

“I am happy for you.” (Y/N) smiled at him.

“You are not surprised?” She laughed at Evan’s confused gaze.

“That you are into boys? Nah. Are you surprised?” Now the confusion was written over both their faces

 “Of course I am.”

“I could have told you were into boys as soon as you had that crush on Liam in Highschool.” (Y/N) laughed.

“I didn’t have a crush on Liam!”

“What was it then? You having a platonically crush on him?”

“I had a crush on his sister!” Evan looked absolutely panicked.

“Definitely not. You barely talked about Cameron. Much more about Liam.”

“Oh my god. I had a crush on Liam.” The realization was all written over his face.

“Now go and spend some time with you boyfriend.” (Y/N) nodded in Tommy’s direction.

“He is not officially my boyfriend yet.”

“Then go change that.” (Y/N) hugged Evan tightly. “I am going to go soon. Riley has to take a nap and then I will go have a look at LA’s bustling city life. But first I need to have a short talk to Tommy. Go say bye to your niece. In the meanwhile.” Evan looked a bit unsure of what to do but then ran down the stairs to Eddie and Riley.

“Hey” So you have to be Tommy.” The man looked at (Y/N) with a curious look on his face.

“Yes?”

“Don’t hurt my brother. He hasn’t had an easy life and it looks like he just realized he is into boys – idiot – so just treat him right. He deserves the world with everything he had been through. It may be that he’ll need some time to adjust to everything but he’ll understand everything soon.”

“Don’t worry. I know he is great.”

“Good. See you soon!” (Y/N) smiled at Tommy, who stood up to gently hug her.

“Bye everyone! It was nice to see y’all but I really need to go now.”

Everyone said goodbye and hugged (Y/N).

Maybe she worried without any reason. Everyone accepted her. Everyone liked her. She could have never imagined that. Not in the last 2 years with Ben. She wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without him. When they were with friends, he didn’t want her to talk to others, not even her closest friends.

Slowly, (Y/N) walked down the stairs where she found Eddie and Riley laughing. Her daughter sat on the driver’s side of the truck and giggled happily as she pretended to drive.

“Riley. We need to go home now, ok?”

“Mommy. It is funny. Don’t want to go.” The three-year-old looked like she was on the verge to cry.

“We can come back another time, but you really need to make your nap and then we want to go to the mall shopping. Mommy needs new clothes, as well as you do.” (Y/N) came to her brother with only one suitcase and most of the contents was Riley’s stuff.

“Shopping?” Riley’s eyes lit up at the thought of going to the mall with her mom. She loves to try on the pretty clothes.

“Yes, sweety.” Eddie helped Riley out of the firetruck.

“It was nice to see you again. Maybe we can go have dinner next week? I really want to see Riley and spend some time with her, but I would understand if you want to talk to me before”, Eddie said, which (Y/N) appreciated as it was true. She first wanted to set some boundaries before letting Eddie spend time with her daughter.

“Invite us over for Paella and I’ll think about it.” (Y/N) grinned, which showed Eddie she was just joking.

“Us? You want to bring Riley with you? Are you ok with that?”

“I am sure Chris wants to meet his little sister.”

“Tuesday, 6 pm. Ok?” (Y/N) nodded.

“See you there. I’ll ask Evan for your address.” She scooped Riley up and stepped in the warm LA air. (Y/N) smiled. She forgot the last time, where she had been happy like today.

The day didn’t go like planned, but it was great either way. She hasn’t seen Eddie in 4 years, and even though she doesn’t know hoe to feel about it just yet, she was happy to have the chance to spend time with him. Riley could finally get to know her dad.

(Y/N) took a deep breath. She could smell the ocean and sunscreen. She absolutely loved it.

“Let’s go home, Riley.”

---

(Y/N) has been standing in front of the closet for 2 hours.

“But are you sure? I feel like I look a bit too slutty.” She looked down at her black shorts and the baby blue top she wore, to black high heels.

“You look beautiful, (Y/N). And you can let Eddie see what he has missed in the last years.” (Y/N) shot her sister an annoyed look.

“Maddie! I feel like you don’t take my problem serious!” Maddie laughed.

“That’s because I don’t. You looked amazing in every single outfit you have tried on today!”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Maddie took one step closer to give her sister a hug. “Eddie has already seen you in joggers, when you two were a couple. He won’t care what you wear. Boys don’t care as much about outfits as we do. Just trust your gut.”

“Thank you, Maddie.”

“It was no problem.”

---

“Hey (Y/N)! Riley! Come in. The paella is nearly finished. I hope you are hungry?”

“We definitely are, aren’t we, Riley?” (Y/N) gently nudged her daughter’s arm.

“Hungry!” Eddie chuckled. He suddenly felt absolutely overwhelmed by emotions. The young girl had the same small birthmark under her eye, that he has. She scrunched her nose the same way he did. She was half him. Yes, he had a son. He loved Chris. But he also loved Riley. She was suddenly there. He didn’t see that coming.

Dinner went absolutely well. They had great conversations, and both Chris and (Y/N) were happy to meet again after so long.

“How is school, Chris?” The boy scrunched his face at the mention of that hated place.

“I have good grades, but I still don’t like going there. I have many friends there. Denny is in my course since this year, so it makes at least a little bit more fun.”

“Who is Denny?”, (Y/N) asked, as she didn’t think that anyone has mentioned this name before.

“Hen’s son”, Eddie explained.

“Ah. Ok. I am so, so happy for you!”

“Chris, buddy? Do you want to go watch tv with Riley? You could watch a cartoon?”, Eddie asked as he noticed Riley’s eyes growing heavier so she was barely awake.

“Why not.” The 13-year-old made his way to the living room with Riley following close behind.

(Y/N) was the first one to speak. “You can spend time with Riley if you want to. At the beginning, not too much. Maybe you go to the park or the zoo and then bring her back home to me. When you spent time with her more often and she likes it, you can have her for a whole day and if that works out, she could stay overnight at some point. But I want to meet up with you too. She is our daughter so we should show her that we are her parents. I don’t want her to think we hate each other. And I want our meet ups to be a date. I want to go on a date with you. I still love you. I have never stopped loving you. When I was with Ben, I often thought about how my love would be if I had reached out to you. If I hadn’t let you go. I want a date. And I want to know why you left me.”

Eddie looked a bit overwhelmed and confused, but he nodded.

“Ok. We can to that. I like you to. I love you. And I left because Shannon did. She left Chris with me and I didn’t know how to manage a girlfriend and a son. I first had to figure out what having a kid was like. I wanted to marry you before Shannon left. I already had bought an engagement ring. I loved you. Love you. But I wasn’t sure what to do. I am really sorry. I didn’t really want to leave you but I felt like I had to.”

“You wanted to marry me?”

“I did.” Eddie nodded, and (Y/N) could see all the regret in his eyes.

“We go on a date. And if you still love me - and I still love you – propose to me.”

Eddie grinned.

“That works for me.”

(Y/N) stood up from where she was sitting, went to Eddie who was leaning on the kitchen counter, stood on her toes to be high enough to kiss him. It was some kind of promise. She loves Eddie. She would do everything to make it work this time. She would die for him.

With a heavy heart, (Y/N) pulled away from Eddie.

“I need to go now. But I still have your number. I’ll call you.”

(Y/N) went to the living room, scooped Riley up from where she sat on the couch and went out of Eddie’s house.

She didn’t know why, but something didn’t feel right. It was already dark outside. Anxiously, (Y/N) looked around. Nothing is wrong. She is just overthinking too much.

“Hey babe. You really thought you could leave me?”

Blurt it out

This is a Tim Bradford x reader fanfiction I had an idea for and just had to write it down. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it. <3

Summary: It takes place in 4x1. That's the summary.

The next fanfic I will post will be a Chenford one and I am currently working on other stuff.

If anyone has requests or ideas what I could write just send it in bc I ran out of ideas.

She stared at the display, unable to look away. She didn’t really want to see what was happening, but she couldn’t just look away, and risk to oversee any detail that could help them. As a cop, she was trained to pay attention.

Next to her stood all the other people. Sergeant Grey, John Nolan, Lucy Chen, Tim Bradford, and of course Nyla Harper. She could see Lucy wiping a tear from her cheek, as well as Nyla. But she… she didn’t feel anything. There was not a single emotion in her.

(Y/N) winced, as she saw a shot being fired on the screen. Fuck. The last glimmer of hope was now gone. Sergeant Grey turned the video back.

“There. He flinched. As if Jackson scratched him or something like that”, he said.

“He knew he wouldn’t have a chance and wanted to give us something to work with. There would be DNA under is fingernails.” Lucy’s voice broke.

“I’ll tell the forensics so they can take a look at it. In the meanwhile, I want you all to go home and take some rest. I’ll let you call when we have some new information.” The Sergeant’s voice wasn’t as authoritarian than usually.

“I want to help. I can’t just sit here and do nothing! It was our colleague who got killed! Our friend! And Angela was kidnapped! We need to find out where La Fiera is!” Lucy felt more than (Y/N). You could hear it because of her breaking voice.

“It was an order, Officer Chen. Go home. Like I said, I’ll have you called in if there is any more information that there is now.”

“With all due respect Sir, but that’s my fiancée and I won’t go home until I know where she is and if the baby is healthy. I won’t go home until my pregnant wife-to-be is home with me again.” (Y/N) had completely forgotten that Wesley was here too. It was just logical; his fiancée was missing and he wouldn’t let them do their job without keeping him updated.

(Y/N) felt tears roll over her cheeks. She had just seen one of her best friends being killed. It didn’t feel real. Like she was only watching a movie and didn’t have any relation to the characters. Why couldn’t she feel more? She wanted to be mad, she wanted to be able to scream, to openly cry, but all she could was feel the silent tears rolling down her face.

She could feel a hand on her shoulder. Tim.

“You should go home. This case isn’t on us. At least not in the moment. Get some rest.”

Tim looked at her with worried eyes. Not really surprising. It was in the middle of the night. Her best friend just died – no, got killed - and she stood in the middle of the police department, crying because she didn’t know what to do. How she could get up in the next days.

“Come on.” She let Tim lead her out the office.

“I… I can’t go home. What if something happens? I… I’ll just stay here. This is the safest place right now.”

Tim looked at her… concerned. He often dealt with this kind of emergency, but Tim had never before dealt with this with his friends. Of course, he has already lost partners in the job but not like this.

“You can come with me. It would also be easier if they call us in to help them with something. Your apartment has a longer way to the department.” (Y/N) stared at him with wide eyes.

“Really? I… I don’t want to impose and you don’t feel too well either I think… your… your best friend just got kidnapped.” She really didn’t want to be an inconvenience. And what would be the looks she would get if anyone found out she stayed at her boss’ house for over the night even though they won’t do anything else that sleeping. In separate rooms.

“You won’t. Are you hungry? We didn’t really eat as the wedding didn’t take place so…?”

“I am hungry but I honestly don’t know if I can keep anything down now.” (Y/N) tried to dry her face from the tears, that finally stopped flowing.

“We can get some take-out and we try to eat and if not, we have the left-overs for tomorrow. Sounds like a plan?” (Y/N) nodded.

“Yes, that’s great. Thank you.” They slowly went to Tim’s car. The blisters the high heels gave her feet were long forgotten. They were her smallest problem right now. Somehow the physical pain even made her feel better.

They only stopped once to get the food. Quickly they decided to take Pizza, something they loved, and could easily be eaten the next day if there were some leftovers.

Tim’s house was… (Y/N) didn’t know what to say. It… fit him. Modern, but not much decoration. She took place at the table, the dress she wore was a bit disturbing.

Shit… She forgot that she doesn’t have any other clothes with her. She only had her dress, and she didn’t really want to sleep in it. It reminded her of all the things that happened today.   

“Ehm… Tim?” He stopped on his way to get 2 plates for the pizza.

“Yes? Is everything ok?” She nodded and then shook her head.

“I don’t have any clothes with me. Do you think we could get some clothes from my place?”

Tim looked at her as if she was crazy. She could somehow understand it. Her house wasn’t exactly next door. They would have to drive at least 30 minutes.  

“You know that it is a long way? Would you be ok if I gave you a shirt of mine and I still have joggers from Angela when she had an argument with Wesley and came here? I know it would be much too big but if you just slept here, I think it would work?” He looked at her with a questioning look and she nodded.

Why not? For now, it seemed like the best solution. Would it be unprofessional? Yes. Would everyone judge her if they saw her? Definitely. But right now, she had bigger problems. Jackson died. Angela got kidnapped. She kind of lost two of her best friends today.

Tim went to, which (Y/N) assumed, was his bedroom. Only a minute later he came back, a bundle of clothes in his arms.

“Here. You can go change in the bathroom. The first door on the left side.” He pointed in the direction he just came from.

“Thank you. Really.” Tim smiled. It was an exhausted but not a forced one.

“No problem at all.”

(Y/N) went to the bathroom. It was definitely more modern than her own. The shower! Wow. She would give everything just to have a hot shower.

“Tim? Could I take a short shower?” Her voice sounded weak. She didn’t have the energy to shout through the whole apartment, she just had to hope that Tim would have heard her.

“Yes. I’ll make the pizza into the oven so it doesn’t get cold, ok?”

“Thanks.”

(Y/N) didn’t remember when the last time was, that she had a proper shower, without having to stress herself because she needed to go to work. Still, she couldn’t enjoy the hot water, that was running over her body.

Suddenly, she was overwhelmed by emotions. The tears began to slow freely. She wasn’t crying as silently as she did before. Now she could only hope that Tim couldn’t hear her. She sank to the floor; the cold tiles on her back welt like ice cubes in contrast to the hot water.

She buried her face in her hands. Her brain finally realized it. Her friend was dead. Angela got kidnapped. They didn’t know what La Fiera was going to do to her. To her unborn baby. Did Angela already know that Jackson got killed?

A gentle knock was on the door.

“Are you ok, (Y/N)?” She tried to wipe away the tears. Stupid; she was in a shower.

“Yes. I’m ok.” She wasn’t and she knew that Tim could hear it. It was embarrassing. Her boss heard her cry. They weren’t even real friends. She tells him much about her life when they were on shift, but he was always a bit… reserved. They were acquaintances but nothing more.

(Y/N) was glad that Tim didn’t pry any further and she continued to sob freely. She heard how the door opened. Tim didn’t just come into the bathroom, did he? Luckily, the steam already covered the glass of the shower so he couldn’t properly see her.

He opened the door to the shower and switched off the shower. He handed her a bathrobe, which she slipped into. It was made out of very soft material. He gently pulled her out of the shower… and hugged her. A real hug. Not a hug like the ones you give when saying hello or goodbye… no… he held her.

(Y/N) didn’t know when it was the last time, she was hugged like that. She cried freely into Tim’s shirt. Right now, she wasn’t embarrassed by it. She didn’t even care about it a little bit. She was just thankful to be held.

After a few minutes, Tim led her to the living room, where he sat her on the couch, giving her a warm blanket he covered her with. Then he just sat down next to her, and continued to hold her. He didn’t say anything; didn’t ask questions. And it was exactly what (Y/N) needed at the moment.

When she finally started to calm down a bit, she wiped away her tears with her hands.

“Thank you, Tim.” Her voice trembled and sounded hoarse. If she still had her Make-up on, her face would have been black from the mascara by now.

“Nothing to thank me. It’s what a friend does.” Tim smiled weakly at her. Friends. He called them friends. She probably wouldn’t say that, but in the moment, she was thankful for it as it made the situation a bit less weird.

“I should probably get changed.” (Y/N) suddenly became aware that she wasn’t wearing anything under the bathrobe.

“Ok. Should I warm up the food? I am really hungry.” Tim looked at er with a questioning look.

“Uhm… yes… that would be great. Again, thank you.” (Y/N) hurried to the bathroom where the clothes Tim led her were still lying on the floor.

Just as she wanted to change into the clothes, Tim called her name.

“Come on we have to go! Grey has new information about Angela!” Instead of changing into the comfortable clothes, she just again slipped into her dress from the evening. Her hair was still wet but it didn’t matter at the moment.

When she stepped into the kitchen, she couldn’t help but notice Tim’s gaze at her. He scratched his neck, something she knew he did when he felt uncomfortable or nervous which has only happened once before.

“Ehm… Your… zipper isn’t properly… closed.”

Fuck! This didn’t just happen. Half of her chest was exposed… How could she not have noticed that before?! She already felt uncomfortable enough in this situation. Why did this have to happen exactly today. (Y/N) felt like she was about to cry.

She tried to close the zipper but it jammed.

“Wait let me do this.” As if the situation couldn’t get more embarrassing now her boss offered to close the zipper of her dress? If it was at least a zipper at the back of the dress but no. Why did she choose that dress today?

While Tim closed the zipper, (Y/N) only stared at the ceiling, unable to look at him.

“Ok. All done. Let’s go.” She ran to the car, as fast as it was possible in high heels. She slumped into the passenger’s seat.

“Here. Drink.” (Y/N) eyed Tim’s hand as he gave her a can of red bull.

“Oh wow. Thanks.” She was lucky he remembered to pack a few energy drinks in the back of the car, as they both were sleep deprived. And she herself was glad she packed her back with make up for the wedding, which was still in it.

She put the light on and put a bit of her make up on, so it wasn’t as obvious as before that she had cried before.

“You really do your make up now? In a driving car? Nobody is going to be interested in how you look. We have bigger problems at the moment.” (Y/N) glared at him.

Tim had been married. Didn’t he know doing make up is important for a woman? She always found it calming to do make up. It was soothing to do the precise work. Not being able to make mistakes especially not in a stressful situation.  

***

Only a few minutes later they arrived at the police department. They hurried to the Sergeant’s office. Nolan, Chen, and Nyla were already there. The only one missing was Wesley.

“Thank you for coming. Wesley’s not here. He is already in Guatemala. Lokks like he had an informer who helped him find La Fiera aka Sandra de la Cruz. We don’t know what’s going to happen. La Fiera is mentally instable especially after what happened to her son. I can’t officially send anyone to Guatemala.” Grey shot them a meaningful look.

“So, we’ll just have to wait what Wesley can do? He doesn’t have anyone there! He is an attorney! He has no chance against Sandra de la Cruz!” Nolan made a point there.

“I said I can’t officially send you there. But if I don’t know what you are going to do, I can’t prevent you from doing whatever you plan to.”

Now it was Tim speaking: “Conference room. Now. Everyone but Grey.”

***

Only an hour later everything was planned. They all were flying to Guatemala. (Y/N) has never been flying with a helicopter before, what makes her really nervous.

Next to her, sat Tim and on the opposite side were Lucy and John sat. Nyla was in the front with the pilot and in the back were two more seats for Angela and Wesley.

(Y/N) drummed her fingers on her thigh, squeezing her eyes shut as the chopper took off. She has changed into her police uniform, as the evening gown wouldn’t have been really practical for a long flight to Guatemala and probably a few shootouts.

She felt a hand on her fingers which where still drumming a rhythm. Tim’s.

“You ok, (Y/L/N)?” He was into full police mode. There wasn’t any space for kind words. They were about to free Angela and maybe even Wesley. If anyone wasn’t concentrated or anxious, they shouldn’t have come with them. It would have been irresponsible.

“I’m fine, Bradford.” Her voice didn’t sound as strong as she hoped, but everyone seemed to buy it for now.

After they finally landed, Harper, Nolan and Bradford were busy preparing the drone, while Lucy and (Y/N) looked around to make sure that they were save for now. They weren’t really near the house, but they didn’t know how careful La Fiera was.

It was already early in the morning. No one has slept in the last 24 hours, but they were so hyped up by adrenaline and energy drinks, that they barely felt how tired they were.

“Have you eaten anything in the last few hours”, asked Lucy at some point.

“A protein bar at the station but I not more. Didn’t have appetite after… after what happened yesterday. And you? Have you even been home?” (Y/N) could see that Lucy was exhausted and that she cried before. Her eyes were red and swollen.

“No. I couldn’t. I told Tamara I needed to do overtime but I don’t think she bought it. I stayed at the department and slept on a chair in the conference room. I just wasn’t able to go home to see Jackson’s stuff lying everywhere in the apartment. Where you at home? You still were in you dress when you came after Grey called you.” Lucy looked at her for a short time but not long as they still had to concentrate on La Fiera’s workers.

(Y/N) shook her head while saying: “I couldn’t go home either. Didn’t want to be alone after what happened. Tim offered me to sleep at his place.”

“Tim? Tim Bradford? Our boss Timothy Bradford?” Lucy looked really surprised but (Y/N) couldn’t blame her. She nodded.

“Yepp. He was really kind. I was very… upset earlier, so I was very thankful.”

Her friend still looked a bit shocked.

“Wow… that’s… strange. But you don’t have… feelings… for him… right?” (Y/N) laughed.

“God, no. I have to admit it had been a bit strange at the beginning but he was really understanding. He even bought pizza which is now probably cold.”

Even though she laughed, she wasn’t sure if the “feelings-theory” was that wrong. Did she have feelings for Tim? She has often questioned that before.

Every time he touched her it felt… special. She felt like her stomach felt full of butterflies. But she can’t have feelings for him, right? He was her boss and Lucy had to break up with Nolan because he had been also a rookie and not even her boss.

Damn it, why does she always have feelings for guys she cannot have. She still knows how it felt seeing Tim on her side when she woke up from surgery after she was involved in a knife attack. He said he didn’t stay in hospital all night, but she knew he was lying as he still wore the same clothes as the day before.

“Ok, the drone is ready”, Lucy and (Y/N) heard over the radio. They ran back to Bradford, Nolan and Harper. The display, that Nyla was holding, showed everything that was to see with the drone’s camera.

“Ok, they put Wesley and Angela in the trucks. It looks like she is in labor. Ok, that’s what we wanted. No. No! They drive them separated! Nolan, (Y/LN). You follow Wesley. Bradford, Chen and I, we follow Lopez to the hospital. Go!”

***

Like they were told, John and (Y/N) followed Wesley. It looked like there was only one person with him, but they couldn’t know for sure.

As (Y/N) and John followed the truck carrying Wesley, the tension in the air was palpable. Every second felt like an eternity as they carefully maintained their distance, making sure not to lose sight of the vehicle but also not to arouse suspicion. The city's neon lights flickered past, casting an eerie glow on the damp streets.

"(Y/N), are you okay?" John asked, his voice steady but concerned.

(Y/N) nodded, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "I'm fine, Nolan. Just... focused."

John glanced at her, noticing the tightness around her eyes. He knew what it felt like to be on edge, especially after a traumatic event. "We're going to get them back. Both Wesley and Angela. We just have to stay sharp."

(Y/N) appreciated his words but couldn't shake the gnawing anxiety in her stomach. She forced herself to stay in the moment, her training kicking in as she scanned the surroundings for any signs of any danger.

The truck turned into an industrial area, and (Y/N) signaled to John. "We need to be ready for anything.”

When they arrived at some kind of farm, the vehicle stopped, the person in the truck stepped out, revealing a silhouette in the bright sunlight. John and (Y/N) exchanged a glance and nodded, both ready to move.

"We need to get closer," (Y/N) whispered as they slipped out of their vehicle and crept towards the warehouse, using the shadows of the trees for cover.

They could see how Wesley got pulled out of the car, a weapon held to the side of his head.

“Faster! I don’t have the time for your games!” Just when Nolan and (Y/N) noticed that the man was about to shoot, they stepped forward.

“Drop the weapon! Now!” Suddenly, a shot rang out, and (Y/N) felt a sharp pain in her side. She gasped, stumbling and clutching her wound as she fell to the ground. John immediately dropped to her side, his eyes wide with fear and determination.

“(Y/N)! Stay with me," John urged, his hands shaking as he applied pressure to her wound. "We need backup! Officer down, officer down!" he called into his radio.

(Y/N)'s vision blurred, but she forced herself to stay conscious. "John... you need to... get Wesley..."

“I know. He is just over there. It’s going to be ok. Just stay with me.

 Back at the hospital, Tim Bradford, Lucy Chen, and Nyla Harper were on high alert, they already found Angela and were on their way to the chopper that should bring them back to LA. Tim's mind was racing, worry etched across his face. He couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in his gut, and it only intensified when he heard Nolan’s frantic call over the radio.

"Officer down. (Y/N) has been shot. We need immediate medical assistance!"

Tim's heart skipped a beat. He glanced at Lucy, who looked equally horrified, which wasn’t surprising as (Y/N) was her best friend. Lucy has already lost Jackson, just yesterday, she couldn’t bear to lose (Y/N) now too.

When they all arrived at the chopper, they found John – who already was in the chopper - desperately trying to keep (Y/N) conscious. The sight of her, pale and bleeding, hit Bradford like a train. He rushed to her side, his hands trembling as he took over from John.

"(Y/N), hang on. You're going to be okay," Tim said, his voice cracking. He couldn't hide the emotion in his eyes. "Stay with me."

She looked up at him, her vision fading but her heart swelling at his presence. "Tim... I..."

"Don't talk," Tim interrupted, his voice choked with emotion. "Save your strength. We are on our way to the hospital.”

Thanks to his time in the army, he knew how to handle shooting wounds. He pressed a shirt – he assumed it was Nolan’s – to the wound, wincing as (Y/N) cried out in pain.

“I am so, so sorry.” Tim had never felt something like that when someone got shot. Not even when he was the one shot. He had never felt this much panic. He never had to hold back tears.

Hours later, Tim sat in the waiting room, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. He couldn't lose her. Not when he finally understood what she meant to him.

"Any news?" Lucy asked, her voice trembling.

Tim shook his head, unable to speak. They sat in silence, each of them lost in their thoughts, until a doctor finally approached.

"She's stable," the doctor said, and Tim felt a rush of relief so intense it nearly knocked him over. "She lost a lot of blood, but she's going to be okay."

Tim let out a shaky breath. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice filled with gratitude.

As they were allowed into her room, Tim sat by (Y/N)'s bedside, holding her hand gently. She looked fragile, but there was a peacefulness to her face that gave him hope.

When her eyes fluttered open, she smiled weakly at him. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," Tim replied, his voice soft. "You scared me."

(Y/N) chuckled weakly. "Sorry about that."

Tim leaned closer; his eyes locked onto hers. "You were trying to tell me something before..."

“It was nothing. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to let me die there”, she whispered. She doesn’t know why she couldn’t just say the truth but this didn’t seem to be the right moment. She had just been shot. What if he assumed she was just high on morphine – which she probably was, but that’s not the point.

The point is, she has feelings for her Sergeant. For her boss. And she doesn’t know if he felt the same. She has doubts. Why would someone like Tim, who doesn’t let any feelings near him, like her? She was just another colleague of his.

“Mhm… ok. I have to go. I am on shift today, but I will come back later. And here, I’ve got you a burger and fries. Thought you don’t want to have the gross hospital food after you were shot and haven’t eaten for 35 hours.” Tim held a paper back towards her.

“Thank you. And wait… I haven’t eaten for 35 hours? That’s a record!” Tim chuckled at (Y/N)’s attempt to lighten the mood.

“See you later.”

***

A bit later, Lucy stepped into the room, what made (Y/N) happy as she has already watched three movies and started to get bored.

"Hey, you," Lucy greeted, her voice warm. "How are you feeling?"

(Y/N) managed a small smile. "I've been better. But I'm alive, thanks to you all."

Lucy pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed. "We're just glad you're okay. You really gave us all a scare."

(Y/N) hesitated, then decided to share her burden. If anyone could help her, it was Lucy. "Lucy, can I talk to you about something? Something... kind of… personal?"

Lucy raised an eyebrow, definitely intrigued. "Of course. What's up?"

(Y/N) took a deep breath, her heart pounding. "It's about Tim. I... I think…I have feelings for him. I have for a while, but I don't think I can tell him. I mean, why would he ever feel the same way about me?"

Lucy leaned back, crossing her arms with a smile tugging at her lips “I knew it. It was clear to all of us. Lopey, Harper and I, we even have a bet running when you are going to tell each other. But really, why would you think you're not enough for him?"

(Y/N) looked away, feeling a lump in her throat. "I don't know. He's just... Tim. Strong, dependable, a great leader and so, so confident. And I'm just... me."

Lucy leaned forward; her expression serious now. "Listen, (Y/N). Tim is great, but you're amazing too. You're brave, dedicated, and you've got a heart of gold. And you are so damn strong. You have just survived a shooting. If Tim doesn't see that, then he's blind. But honestly, from what I've seen, I think he does see it."

(Y/N) felt a flicker of hope but still wasn't convinced. "But what if I'm wrong? What if it ruins everything?"

“That’s the risk you’d have to take. But I really doubt it. How he looks at you? How worried he was when he heard you got shot? He even stayed in the uncomfortable hospital waiting room all night as he refused to go home in case something happened! He told Harper to get you the burger and fries in your favorite shop and was about to kill her when she wanted to go to a different one!”

(Y/N) looked at her best friend with wide eyes.

“Are you being serious?” Lucy nodded.

“I wouldn’t say that if I wasn’t.” (Y/N) looked away, tears welling up in her eyes.

Lucy sighed, reaching out to gently turn (Y/N)’s face back toward her. "Listen to me. Life is too short to hold back your feelings. If you care about him, he deserves to know. And you deserve to be happy."

(Y/N) sniffled, a small smile breaking through her fear. "But how? When? I can't just blurt it out."

They both chuckled at the thought of her randomly telling Tim she likes him.

“Maybe you tell him when you get discharged from hospital. I am sure he is going to be there because he worries about you and wants to make sure you are ok. He even volunteered to drive you to your apartment and make sure you are comfortable with staying at home without anyone”, Lucy said.

“Ok. That sounds like a plan. Thank you.” Lucy squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

“That’s what friends are for.”

***

Finally, the day of her discharge came, and (Y/N) has thought about this moment a lot. How would she tell Tim? Where? When they are still driving to her apartment or should she invite him into her apartment to talk to him? She has never been the one to tell the other person she’s in love with them.

Tim entered her hospital room, where she sat on her bed, wearing joggers and a wide shirt. She knew she didn’t look her best, but if Tim expected something different, only 5 days after she had been shot, he would be stupid.

“Hey. Are you ready to go home?” Tim stepped into the room, smiling softly at her. Had Lucy been right? Did he really feel the same for her as she did for him? He wasn’t the mean, strong man in this moment. He looked… she didn’t even know how to say it… softer than usually?

“More than ready. 5 days in a hospital without proper Wi-Fi is definitely too long.” Tim chuckled.

“Ok, come on. Can you walk on your own?” (Y/N) nodded even though she wasn’t so sure. Yes, the meds they gave her are good, but not as good as she didn’t feel the pain in her abdomen where the bullet hit her spleen.

She slowly got up from bed, trying not to wince because of the pain she felt.

“Let me help you.” (Y/N) didn’t even react before she felt Tims arm around her, helping her to stay upright.

Somehow, they managed to go to the car, and (Y/N) took a deep breath when she finally sat in the comfortable passenger seat of Tim’s car.

“Are you sure you are alright being home again? Without help? You didn’t even manage to go to the car properly.“

(Y/N) waved him off.

“I am going to be ok. The meds only start to wear off but it is going to be better once I have taken the new painkillers they gave me.”

“Mhm…”

While they drove, it was quite silent. (Y/N) thought about how to tell Tim how she felt about him, because she still wasn’t sure how to break the news.

The car came to a gentle stop in front of her apartment building. Tim turned off the engine and looked over at her. "You sure you're ready for this? I can stay for a bit if you need help getting settled."

(Y/N) nodded, taking a deep breath. "Actually, Tim, I was hoping you would come in for a bit. There's something I need to talk to you about."

Tim's brow furrowed with curiosity, but he nodded and got out of the car, helping her carefully navigate her way to her apartment. Once inside, she guided him to the living room, the familiarity of the space giving her comfort.

"Sit down, please," (Y/N) said, her voice sounded higher than usually. She motioned to the couch, and Tim obliged, his eyes never leaving hers.

"What's on your mind?" Tim asked, his tone gentle but also worried. And maybe a bit panicked?

(Y/N) took a seat beside him, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. "Tim, I... I need to tell you something kind of really important. It's been on my mind for a while now, and after everything that has happened, I just can't keep it to myself for longer."

Tim leaned forward, his full attention on her. "You can tell me anything. You know that."

She took a deep breath, her heart racing. "Tim, I... I think I have feelings for you. I know it's probably not appropriate, and I know you're my boss, but I can't help it. I care about you, more than just as a colleague or a friend."

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, (Y/N) feared the worst. Tim's expression was unreadable, and she braced herself for rejection.

But then Tim reached out, taking her hand in his. His touch was warm, reassuring. "I don't know what to say," he began, his voice soft. "Except that I feel the same way. I have felt like this for quite a while now. I care about you a lot, and it scared me to think I might lose you when you got shot and laid there."

(Y/N)'s eyes filled with tears, a mixture of relief and overwhelming emotion. "Really? I was so scared you wouldn't feel the same."

Tim smiled; a rare, genuine smile that even made her heart skip a beat. "It was hard to admit, even to myself. But seeing you hurt, thinking about what could have happened... it made me realize how much you mean to me."

There was an awkward silence for a moment, both of them processing the magnitude of what they had just confessed. Then, Tim chuckled softly. "I guess we're both pretty bad at this, huh?"

(Y/N) laughed, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Yeah, I guess we are. But I'm glad we finally talked about it."

“Me too.” Tim swiped his thumb over the back of (Y/N)’s hand, which he still had in his own.

“Tim? Is… is it ok if I kiss you?” Instead of an answer, Tim leaned into her direction, and kissed her like she never had been kissed before.

In this moment she knew that she loved this man. He has always been there for her. He was the person she talked about everything that happened in her life.

When Tim let go of her again, (Y/N) opened her mouth to say something.

“Was everything… with us… why you have always reacted so jealous and… tight… when I talked about my last boyfriends?”

Tim looked at her, his lips swollen from their kiss.

“Maybe… but I wouldn’t have wanted it differently. I loved listening to everything that happened in your life. And you always smiled so sweet when you talked about everything. I loved listening to you. I still have the records of when you recorded my books I had to learn for the sergeant test. Thank you.”

 “What are you thanking me for?” (Y/N) looked at Tim confused.

“For being you. For making me laugh. For trusting me. Simply for everything. But I believe we aren’t allowed to work together from now on.”

“What if we didn’t tell anyone we are a couple?” Tim raised his brow at the question, before shrugging.

“I think that could work too.”  

sending you an ask here instead of the side blog bc i can stay anon lol but sinner’s eyes are hazel!!! the reason they look different in different lighting is bc they’re hazel. a lot of people say green but as a hazel eyed person, my eyes sometimes look more green and sometimes less bc of lighting and how big my pupils are so i will die on this hill 💀 respectfully

omg thank you I really wasn’t sure and thanks for telling me it doesn’t work to send anon asks on my side blog I forgot to do all the setting there hahaha!

Who's the dad

This is a Evan Buckley (9-1-1) fanfiction I have finally decided to post. It is the first or second fanfiction I have written in my whole life so this is probably bad. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it.<3

Summary: A few months after a one-night stand leaves (Y/N) pregnant, she unexpectedly meets the baby's father at a BBQ at her dad's fire station.

The blonde guy was hot, (Y/N) had to admit. His baby blue shirt lets his eyes glow in the most perfect way.

“So why are you here today?”, (Y/N) asked. They both had a silent deal: no name’s, no prying for information.

“Hard day at work”, the man answered. “You?”

“Hard week.” (Y/N) knew she was already drunk, but she ordered another tequila. In the afternoon, she brought her kids to their grandparents, Bobby and Athena. The reason she told them: I need the evening for drinking until I don’t even know my name anymore.

She knew drinking wasn’t going to solve her problem, but it would numb her for at least one night. It would make her forget the pain.

The man nodded, but she didn’t even know what she had said before.

They drank a few drinks together until both of them saw black spots dancing in front of their eyes.

(Y/N) knew it was wrong what she wanted to do know. She wanted to kiss this man. She wanted to forget why she was here tonight. She knew exactly how wrong it would be. How disappointed everyone would look at her. But screw it. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

She leant forward and pressed a kiss on his lips. It felt so right, but so wrong. It didn’t matter. The blonde deepened the kiss. The next thing (Y/N) knew was that they were in the man’s apartment. In his bed.

___

(Y/N) did her best to hide the baby bump – but it didn’t help much. Maybe she could tell everyone she has just eaten too much when they were in Europe. She hasn’t seen anyone of her family in the last 5 months. They didn’t know she was pregnant and they are not supposed to. Half a year ago she packed her stuff and drove away with the kids.

After her husband died and she slept with this stranger, she had to leave. She wasn’t able to stay anymore. She was ashamed of herself. How was she able to sleep with someone just some hours after Henry died? They weren’t always happy but she loved him. He had been her world. Until he was gone.

“Mommy? How much longer we have to drive?” James asked from the back of the car. He was the most impatient of her kids.

“Only around half an hour then you can finally see grandpa and grandma again.”

(Y/N) heard a sigh from her son and chuckled.

“Is there going to be cake? Is grandpa going to make pasta for us?” Cameron. She and James are twins and couldn’t be more similar. Both impatient and always hungry until they ate two bites and complain about being too full to eat any more.

“I don’t know. I have never been to a party at the station.” Nobody knew they were going to come. It was going to be a surprise.

Suddenly, Emily began to cry in her seat. The two-year old always slept in the car, but when she woke up, she always had a shock and started to cry when she noticed they were driving.

“Liv, can you please give Emily her pacifier?” The 14-year-old didn’t seem to hear her mom, as she had her headphones in her ears and scrolled through TikTok’s.

“Liv! Give your sister her damn pacifier!” Finally.

After two weeks in Europe, (Y/N) was already super annoyed. She tried to keep it cool, but it wasn’t easy to be with four kids and pregnant when she didn’t have her husband around.

___

Just a few minutes later, (Y/N) parked in front of the firehouse. She had been here before. Not inside it but she had dropped off her father a few times when his car was at the car repair.

“Ok! We are here! All out of the car!” (Y/N) picked up her youngest and followed the rest of the kids inside the firehouse.

She didn’t see many people downstairs, but around 50 people were upstairs.

“(Y/N)? Hey! You’re back! Where were you in the last few months? We tried to call you but you didn’t answer. We were so worried!” Bobby literally ran to her and hugged her as tightly as possible with Emily between them. “She grew up so much”, he said, reaching out to stroke Emily’s back.

“Yes. She absolutely did.” (Y/N) could see the worried and exhausted expression on her father’s face and immediately felt sorry for not even writing him and Athena a message that she and the kids were ok.

“May I introduce you to the team?”, Bobby asked after hugging the twins and Liv, who finally put away her headphones.

The 118’s Captain led his family to a bunch of people in uniforms.

“These guys are Eddie, Chimney, Hen and Buck.” (Y/N)’s breath caught in her throat. Fuck. The super-hot guy stood in front of her. With his uniform he looked even better that in his baby blue shirt he wore the last time. Why the fuck did she still remember what this guy had worn when they met in the bar?!

“Meet (Y/N), Liv, James, Cameron and Emily.”

“Hey! Nice to meet y’all”, (Y/N) said overly friendly, trying to hide the surprise, as well as Buck did.

“Grandpa? You have cake?”, Cameron asked Bobby.

“Of course. A party without cake isn’t a party. Come on, I’ll show you all.” Bobby led the kids away from (Y/N) and the team, over to the kitchen island on which many plates of cake were standing.

“’So… you are Cap’s daughter?”, a brown-haired man asked, who (Y/N) remembered as Eddie.

“Yepp, that’s me.” (Y/N) looked at Buck who looked just as surprised, as she felt.

“So, you are Buck?”, she asked him just as a try to build a conversation. She tugged gently on her shirt, as she didn’t want Buck to notice her baby bump.

“Uhm… yes. I am. Evan Buckley. So… these are your kids? You look quite young”, Buck asked and (Y/N) furrowed her brow until she realized, they haven’t talked about ages when they spent the night together. She was quite young for already having 4 kids. She had Liv when she was 16, but she barely told people, as she always got these judging looks.

“Yes, they are.” (Y/N) stared at the ground, unable to hold eye contact with the man she had a breathtaking night.

“Father’s not in the picture?”, Eddie asked and (Y/N) could see that Buck was relieved, that his friend asked the question, so he didn’t seem too suspicious.

“Um, no. He died 5 months ago. Car accident.” Instead of staring at the ground, (Y/N) now looked at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears, which always threatened to flow freely, whenever she talked about her late husband.

When she finally managed to make eye contact with Evan, she could see pain written over his face. Her husband died 5 months ago, around the same time, she slept with him. Had he been some kind of replacement? He knew they agreed to one night – no personal information, but it still hurt to know she didn’t actually feel the tiniest bit. She only had tried to compensate everything.

---

Around 3 hours later, in which the 118 got a small call once but came back after only one and a half hour, they all sat at the big table, because it was dinner time. Most of the time, (Y/N) stood on the sidelines, as she didn’t really feel comfortable around all these people she barely knew, and Buck. Nobody seemed to have noticed the baby bump which was covered under her shirt.

And now, (Y/N) even felt nauseous and had cramps in her lower belly. Her other pregnancies had gone quite well, except the last few months with the twins, but this pregnancy was terrible. She already had to go to hospital 4 times in the last 5 months, as she couldn’t keep anything down and had been severely dehydrated.

After only 2 bites, (Y/N) had to lay down the fork because she felt like she would throw up right away if she ate only one more bite. She had already thrown up breakfast and everything she drank today. She was lucky no one noticed she hasn’t eaten a piece of cake before.  

“Are you ok?”, the brown-haired man from before asked. Eddie? (Y/N) has always been terrible with names and couldn’t remember any. It took her 2 weeks to even remember Henry’s name after she met him, something he also made fun of, even years later.

“Uh yes. Just not feeling too great today”, she answered, trying to suppress the feeling to be sick. Her throat felt tight and her stomach felt like it was twisting and turning. The cramps were still present. She knew she wasn’t having a miscarriage as she once had one, and it felt different. The symptoms were pretty much the same, but she had another feeling. She had felt like something was missing, but this here wasn’t any better.

“You sure? You don’t look too good and you haven’t eaten much. Don’t you like the food?”, her father intervened now.

“The food’s great. Really. I haven’t been feeling my best today, that’s it.”

“Do you want one of the medics to take a look at you?” Bobby really seemed worried, but his daughter waved him off.

“Dad. Don’t make more out of it than it is.” Her dad made an acknowledging sound and (Y/N) thanked him silently with a small nod.

(Y/N) fidgeted with her hands, a nervous habit, she always did when she felt uncomfortable. Today, this many people were too much. She has never liked being around many people for a long time. She felt like everyone was staring at her and making fun off her or thinking of her as a disappointment when she did something wrong. Her kids were different, except of Liv. Liv came after her mom in these things, while the others luckily came after their dad and were the most social persons in this world.

Everyone looked at (Y/N), as she suddenly stood up, because a wave of nausea waved over her. As fast as possible she went to the restrooms, but only made it to the sink, where she threw up the bit of water she had managed to drink before. She rinsed her mouth and looked in the mirror. She looked like shit. Her skin was pale and her lips dry.

The door opened, and a woman stepped inside. She was around as tall as (Y/N) was and wore a wine-red shirt, that showed she worked at the 911 dispatch center. Had she been at the dinner table before? Or has (Y/N) just not seen her?

“Oh hey. Sorry. Just needed a break from out there. Who are you? I have never seen you here before. I am Maddie by the way. Chimney’s fiancé, Buck’s sister.”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. Buck’s sister?

“(Y/N). Bobby’s daughter. Nice to meet you.”

“Are you okay? You don’t look too well.” Again, this question. No, she wasn’t ok. But she didn’t say anything, so everyone should stop asking her. If she wanted someone to know she wasn’t well, she would tell.

“It’s okay. Just not feeling my best today.” Maddie nodded.

“Ok.” She didn’t pry further to get information, what (Y/N) was very thankful for.

“Soo. You are Bobby’s daughter? Athena has never mentioned, that Bobby has a daughter. She usually talks about everything.” Maddie furrowed her brow.

(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders.

“He doesn’t like talking about his private life too much.”

(Y/N) went back to the table, after she was sure she wouldn’t have to throw up again. But when she arrived at the dinner table again, she felt she was dizzy. Congratulations. First, she was sick and now she was dizzy because she didn’t drink or eat enough today.

She caught Bobby’s concerned gaze as he was looking at her, before everything went black.

___

“Heyyy! Here we go. You with us again?” She felt something painful on her chest and after a few moments she realized it was someone performing sternal rub to bring her back around. (Y/N) grumbled something.

When she tried to sit up again, there was a firm hand on her shoulder that kept her laid down.

“Damn, let me sit up if I want to. I am fine.” But (Y/N) noticed on her own how hoarse she sounded from being sick.

The hand suddenly disappeared from her shoulder, but when (Y/N) sat up, the hand was back at her back to steady her and kept her from falling over. Finally, she managed to open her eyes and caught look on the brown-haired man – Eddie. Evan sat directly next to her.

“We are just going to check a few things, ok?” All (Y/N) did, was giving an acknowledging sound from her.

The next thing she felt was a pulse-oximeter being slipped on her index finger and a blood pressure cuff on the other arm. She winced when Eddie inflated it and it squeezed tightly around her arm, which made her eyes well up with tears.

She had never liked the BP reading. When she was a kid, she cried freely as it made her arm feel like needles were jabbing it.

“Sorry.” Eddie was quick to deflate the cuff again after noticing the tears in (Y/N)’s eyes but she just shook her head to show everything’s ok. “BP’s 108/70. We are going to give you something to raise it again.”

“No! Wait!” (Y/N) frantically said. “I… I…” She made a sign for Eddie to come near to her so she could whisper into his ear without anyone hearing it. “I am pregnant but no one can know yet. I didn’t tell anyone.”

“Okayyy… I think we should go somewhere more private.” (Y/N) nodded agreeing.

Despite the other’s confused looks, they made their way to the locker room. Once they were there, Eddie began talking again.

“Has this happened before?”

“Yes, I already was in hospital because of it but it is just this morning sickness. I can’t keep anything down and it makes me dehydrated.” When (Y/N) looked to her right, she could see Buck looking at them but he couldn’t hear anything, right? He wasn’t as near and it was quite loud upstairs.

“Mhm. I want to hook you up on an IV if that’s ok with you? I don’t want you to be as dehydrated as you are now and I figure you don’t want a trip to the ER?”

“Yes, if that is possible, please.”

Only a few seconds later, (Y/N) could see her dad storming into the locker room.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” He looked kind of mad but also worried.

“Ehm… It is complica…”

“She is dehydrated because she didn’t drink or eat enough. She just wants to be alone for a moment and I can give her an IV,” Eddie intervened. (Y/N) shot him a thankful gaze and a tiny smile. She liked Eddie. He was really kind. She couldn’t think of any of her friends, who would do that for her.

“Mhm. Ok. I am going to call Athena. She said she would be here earlier. I’ll come back later.”

Bobby disappeared as fast as he came into the room.

“Thanks. For not telling him.” Eddie smiled at her.

“It’s not on me. And I think there are going to be better circumstances for that talk. How far are you?”

“5 months.”

“Ah. May I ask…”, he hesitated for a moment. “Is it your late husband’s baby?”

“No.” You didn’t know for sure why you told him, but he kind of let you feel calm and safe. “We didn’t… you know… the time before he died. We argued a lot. Had a one-night stand just a few hours after he died.”

“You know the father? Were you able to call and tell him?” Eddie looked honestly interested while he put an IV bag out of the medkit.

(Y/N) shook her head before nodding.

“I haven’t seen him… until today.” Eddie looked shocked and raised his eyebrows.

“Today? Is he here? At the station?”

(Y/N) nodded guiltily and looked at the ground when she heard Eddie chuckle.

“Damn, tell me more. Who is it?”

“Buck.”

“Buck?” The firefighter looked even more shocked than before and you nodded again.

“I didn’t know his name we agreed to ‘no personal information’. Why would I know he worked at my dad’s workplace? God… when he will find out he is going to be so pissed.” Eddie shook his head.

“Nah, I don’t think so. He will understand. And hey. You don’t have to defend yourself.” She smiled at his kindness.

She watched as Eddie swabbed the alcohol pad over the back of her hand.

“I would recommend to close your eyes if you are not good with needles”, he suggested. But (Y/N) couldn’t. She needed to see what Eddie was doing, even though she wasn’t good with needles. When the firefighter pushed the needle in the back of her hand, she let out a small squeal.

“Told you to keep your eyes closed but you refused to listen.” She heard Eddie chuckle. “Do you have any other symptoms I should be worried about?”

“I have cramps”, she admitted.

“Lower belly?” (Y/N) nodded. Why couldn’t she just have been home. She would lie on the couch and relax, but instead she was here, being poked and prodded by a firefighter.

“Can I take a look?” She nodded again. Eddie pulled her shirt over her abdomen and pressed his palm on different spots. (Y/N) looked upstairs, and froze. Fuck. She forgot that Evan was still standing upstairs, looking at the locker room. Looking at her.

Her eyes widened. Why had she agreed to this? Why didn’t she insist on being ok and went home? Why was she so stupid? She wanted to slap herself for not thinking.

Eddie seemed to notice her sudden panic, the pulse-oximeter, which was still clipped to her finger, chirped in high pitched noises.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. Deep breaths. What’s up?”

“B… Buck.” The firefighter looked where she was pointing at and sucked in a deep breath.

“Ok. That’s ok. We’ll fix that, after we are finished here, ok? It’ll be ok. Don’t worry. Try to breathe with me, the baby won’t like you breathing like that.” Demonstrative, Eddie took some deep breaths. “Do you know the gender yet?”

(Y/N) could tell that Eddie was only trying to distract her but she played along.

“A… girl. It’s a girl. Again.” She laughed. Her breathing became slower, steadier.

“That’s great. You already told your kids?”

“Mhm.”

“How did they react? Are they happy?” Eddie grinned at her.

“Y… yes. They are. James was a bit d- disappointed at first. H- he hoped he would finally get a brother t- to play soccer with.” (Y/N) smiled. “But the g- girls were all over t-the moon.”

The brown-haired man, put an oxygen mask over her face, which she tried to pull off, but his hand was immediately back, to hold the mask in place.

“Let it on, please”, he said with a look at the pulse-oximeter which was still chirping. “It’ll make it easier to breathe for you.

(Y/N) nodded, even though she hated the feeling of the mask, which made her feel the opposite of ‘easier to breathe’.

“Can I have a listen to the baby’s heartbeat?” After he had seen (Y/N) nodded again, he took the stethoscope and pressed the diaphragm to her belly.

“Looks good so far. The heartbeat is a bit fast for my liking but it’s nothing too concerning, just take some deep breaths, ok?”

“Copy, Firefighter Diaz.” (Y/N) took some deep breaths.

Just a few seconds later, someone stormed into the locker room. Buck.

“You… you are pregnant?” Buck hoped that (Y/N) would tell him it wasn’t his. That it was her husband’s.

“Yes.” She was surprised that her voice didn’t sound as high and panicking as she thought it would. She was scared. Scared of Buck’s reaction, which became even more clear, as the pulse-oximeter started to chirp frantically again.

Eddie took a look and was surprised how high the shown numbers were.

“Deep breaths”, he commanded her. But she couldn’t.

“Who’s the dad? Is it mine? Or is there a tiny chance, that it is your husband’s?” Even though (Y/N) thought something like that would come out of Buck’s mouth, she felt disappointment deep in her. She hoped he would not sound as panicked as he was now.

“Your’s.” (Y/N) fell silent, holding her breath in anticipation of what Evan would say now.

“Oh… wow. I have to admit that is a shock. Why… why didn’t you tell me? I could have been there with you.”

“I didn’t have your number, your address, your workplace. Not even your name! I didn’t even know if you lived in LA or somewhere else! What should I have done?”

Eddie put the oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, that she just put off again, but she immediately put it back to the floor. She didn’t want to breathe in the oxygen. It made her feel lightheaded and nauseous and gave her a headache.

“(Y/N)! Damn, breathe properly now the baby’s not comfortable anymore. Buck, I think you should go now and let her breathe a bit without the stress, this conversation puts on her.”

“No, he won’t go now! Not until this conversation is finished!” (Y/N) glared at Eddie. She wasn’t sure if that were the pregnancy hormones speaking out of her which have made her a bit temperamental these last few months.

“What do you want to do now? Buck? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want to be a part in the baby’s life? Do you want to be part in MY life? I need to know it.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Definitely the hormones which made her act strange at the moment.

“I don’t know exactly what I want to do now. But I don’t have a girlfriend. And I want to be part of the baby’s life. I want to be their father…”

“Her. It’s a girlie. Again.” (Y/N) could see Evan smiling a bit.

“Ok. I want to be HER father and spend time with her. And I think I would like to try to go on a date… with you. If you think you are ready. I liked you the last time we met, even though that could be because I had been really drunk that night.” Buck laughed and blushed a bit.

“I think… I think we can give it a try. I don’t know if I am ready for everything. But I do know I am ready for something. And maybe that could be with you.”

“Ok… uhm… great. And now you should really try to breathe properly with that mask. I know it’s not great, but even I can recognize how high your vitals are.”

She did as she was told. (Y/N) knew she liked Buck. He was cute. She wouldn’t have imagined to see a man like him blushing when talking about a baby and dating.

“I’m nauseous.” Eddie and Buck both looked a bit worried.

“Deep breaths. I think it’s just the IV and oxygen. I put some meds in the IV that should help with the belly cramps, that could make you feel nauseous.”

(Y/N) only nodded. She suddenly felt exhausted. The adrenaline of the day started to wear of.

“I think I’m gonna drive the kids home and we are going to relax a bit while watching some tv. Thank you for everything.”

“Wait. Stop. I won’t let you drive home alone. You don’t feel good and I wouldn’t like to know you don’t have anyone with you except you kids.” She nodded again. Evan was right. It would be stupid to not have anyone around her.

“I can come with you. Just if that’s ok with you.”

“Yes. That would be great. Thanks.”

“No problem. Shall we take your car?”

“Mhm.” She was thankful. She could really imagine Buck as a boyfriend. He is great.

---

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Evan laughed. He, (Y/N) and Liv were sat on the couch, watching a firefighter show, (Y/N) and Liv had been addicted to in the last few weeks.

“It doesn’t matter! This show is great!” Liv and Evan discussed about the mistakes in the show since around 10 minutes and it made (Y/N) smile. It was like a real family. Even though it hurt her a bit that it wasn’t Henry, sitting here. But let’s be honest: Henry would have never watched a show like that.

“That doesn’t change the fact, that you don’t use the saw like that. It’s just not safe!”

“Then just do not pay attention to the details.” Now, it was Liv laughing. (Y/N) hasn’t seen her daughter that happy in the last few months. She tried to cover up her emotions but it didn’t work completely. Her eyes started to burn and she felt a pressure building up. No, she wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Evan. Her daughter. No.

“I’ll go to toilet for a moment.” She hoped nobody would notice she was about to cry, but her voice gave it away. She sounded hoarse and her voice broke at some point.

She locked the bathroom door and sank down to the cold floor, where she curled up, leaning her back on the even colder wall. Her hand was rubbing circles over her swollen belly. Damn it.

(Y/N) knew she missed Henry. She knew her kids have missed him every second since his death. But she was scared. Scared that moving on with Evan would make her forget her late husband. She heard a gentle knock on the wooden bathroom door.

“May I come in?” Buck.

“Ok.” Her voice sounded hoarse. She attempted to brush the tears away but it really didn’t work. Her eyes were still read, as well as her cheeks.

She got up to unlock the door, for Buck to come in. After he stepped inside the room, he closed the door again. He sat down next to her, and (Y/N) leaned her head on his shoulder.

“What’s up?”, he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Nothing.” Evan shot her a look, that said more than a thousand words.

“This honestly doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I don’t want to forget Henry. And I am scared. I have never had a relationship before him. And I still have cramps. And I still don’t feel too good in general. And I am scared of giving birth alone. And I am scared of everything else in my life.” Buck looked at her with a concerned expression and immediately pulled her into a hug as (Y/N) began to cry again.

“Ok. So, we first go to hospital, because these cramps make me worried, and then we can figure everything else out, ok?” He pressed a sloppy kiss on (Y/N)’s forehead, and she nodded.

“Mhm. But you need to help me get up, the baby is in the way.”

Favourite tennis match? :3

ig this year’s ao finale as it was actually the first tournament I really watched!