Unexpected Encounter

Unexpected encounter

This is an Eddie Diaz fanfiction I have written and I am actually quite proud of it.

I planned to do a part 2 to this bc it ends on a cliffhanger but haven't had any idea what to write in the second part so if anyone has an idea feel free to send it in.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedbak, I am open for it. <3

(Past domestic violence is mentioned (but only in a short part) so if anyone isn't comfortable with that please don't read it <3)

Summary: After (Y/N) leaves her husband and moves in with her twin brother, Buck, he takes her and her daughter to the fire station where he works, and there she meets someone from her past.

Just a knock on the door. It couldn’t be that hard, (Y/N) thought to herself as she stood in front of a wooden door.

Her daughter impatiently tugged on her sleeve. "Mommy. I knock? “

“Of course you can knock, sweety. “, (Y/N) said with a reassuring smile on her face. She knew she wouldn’t be able to knock on that door, so she could as well just let her daughter do it.

The 3-year-old girl gently knocked on the door with her hand in a tiny fist.

Slowly the door opened and on the other side stood a man with curly, blonde hair and a birthmark right above his eye.

“(Y/N)? Riley? Heyyy! What are you doing here? Is everything ok?”

“Uncle Evan!“ Riley hugged Evan’s leg, where her arms barely fit around. The young man scooped Riley up in one swift motion and pressed a sloppy kiss on the girl’s cheek.

“Can we stay here? Just for a few days?” (Y/N) pulled the collar of her thin pullover as much over her neck as possible. When her brother moved to embrace her, he couldn’t help but notice her flinch at the gentle touch.

“Course you can. You don’t have to ask.” He gave her a tender kiss on the birthmark over her eye, which was identical to his own one.

“Thanks.” Evan looked at her with a worried expression.

“It is late. Riley should probably go to sleep”, (Y/N) said, nodding at her daughter’s direction who already started to doze off in her uncle’s arms.

“I’ll bring her to the guest’s room.” Evan always had a small guest room prepared for the case his twin sister and his niece would come over, which he knew they eventually would, as soon as he had seen (Y/N)’s boyfriend.

(Y/N) settled on a chair in the kitchen. It was the first time she was in Evan’s new apartment and she had to admit she liked it. It was cleaner than she thought it would be. Most of the furniture was grey, some of it white. She only had to wait 5 minutes until her brother came back.

“Is she asleep?” (Y/N) whispered even though she wasn’t sure why.

“Yeah, she was pretty exhausted and didn’t even want me to read her a story.”

He heard his sister making an acknowledging sound. “So, now tell me why you are here.”

“Nothing. Really. I just wanted to see how my little brother is doing.” She tried to force a smile on her face but she could tell of Evan’s gaze that he didn’t believe her.

“First of all. I am only 3 minutes younger than you are, and second, I will give you another chance to tell me the truth. You haven’t visited me in 2 years, (Y/N). You didn’t write me a single message. It was always me. So, I just can’t believe you, when you say everything is fine.”

“I am so sor-“

“No. Wait. I didn’t want you to feel guilty. Don’t apologize. Just… please tell me what happened.” (Y/N) could still see the concerned expression all over Evan’s face and she felt her heart and breathing rate increase.

“Ben… He… he… God, I still can’t believe it.”

“What can’t you believe?” Evan lay a comforting hand on her shoulder while he tilted her chin up so she could look at him.”

“He held me… He pressed me to the wall. Riley had to watch it. Ben just held me tightly. He said that was some kind of punishment.” (Y/N) felt a tear rolling over her cheek, all the way down her chin, her neck until it disappeared under her collar.

“Punishment? For what?” (Y/N) could see Evan clenching his left hand into a tight fist.

“Because I didn’t make dinner in time.” She let out a hysterical laughter. “He hit me… more than once.” Evan sucked in a deep breath while staring at the ceiling as if searching for some kind of answer what he should say next.

“Where?” (Y/N) looked confused. What does her brother want to know? Where her boyfriend was? Because she definitely wouldn’t tell him as she was sure it would make Evan immediately drive to Ben’s house to beat the hell out of him until he was barely alive anymore. She definitely wasn’t going to let her brother do it.

Evan seemed to sense her apprehension. “Where did he hit you? Are the injuries bad? Can I have a look?”

(Y/N) shrugged with her shoulders. If it made her brother calm down a bit and stop worrying about her, why not?

“He hit me in my abdomen and chest.” She looked up at the ceiling, just like Evan did a few seconds before, in an attempt to stop the tears which still wet her cheeks.

Slowly, Evan pulled (Y/N) pullover up just to be faced with many, dark blue bruises on his twin’s upper body. He gently palpated it and noticed how she flinched away from his touch.

“Sorry.” He also had a look at her wrists where Ben had to pin her on the wall as he could see some swelling.

“I will take you to hospital tomorrow.” Evan looked at her with a stern look.

“No! I can’t! I don’t want anyone to see it and I just can’t. He could see if I use my health insurance and no! Evan please!” The tears (Y/N) just managed to hold back just flow over her cheeks again.

“Ok, ok. I understand. And would it be ok if I took you to the station and let someone of our medics take a look at you? Just to be sure there is nothing serious going on?”

After some minutes of considering, (Y/N) agreed, even though she was nervous. She would meet her brother’s colleagues for the first time while looking like that. Having bruises on her whole body, scared, exhausted.

“By the way, why didn’t you go to Maddie? Why did you come here? I am sure Maddie would be the better choice in that case.” Evan curiously looked at his sister, who he couldn’t help but notice looked exhausted and kind of weak. Not like he used to know her. Strong, independent. Ben took a part from her she would have to fight for, to get it back.

“Because she is not my twin. She would tell me I have to face him again to come over it, but right now, I just need someone to listen. Someone to care. Someone to worry. Someone to hold me. And Maddie is great, but right now I need you.” Evan stepped another step forward and hugged (Y/N) as tightly as possible. She felt skinny. Skinnier than the last time. With that in mind he noticed, that also her face wasn’t as round as before. Her cute cheeks in which he always pinched, just to make her annoyed, were gone, so he went to the fridge, with his sister still in his arms, to get her something to eat.

“Thank you, Evan.”

“No problem. And I go by Buck now.”

“I won’t ever call you that”, (Y/N) said while laughing. Evan was glad it was a real laugh. Not a faked, or hysterical one. It was an honest laugh; the same one he has heard for so many years.

___

The next day, (Y/N) changed Riley into a cute dress – Evan didn’t even change her into her pajamas last night, she needs to teach him a lot – and they made their way to the station. Evan invited er to have lunch with the crew before letting someone assess her injuries to make sure she was comfortable around them.

Riley had her stuffed bunny pressed tightly to her chest as the big city was a bit overwhelming to the 3-year-old. (Y/N) knew it would be like that, as she has always lived in a small town with Riley and Ben.

“Mommy? Big truck”, the girl mumbled as she pointed to the red firetruck which was just about to drive around the corner. The sirens weren’t on, as well as the blue lights, which made (Y/N) figure out that they had just come back from a call.

“Yes, Riley. That’s a big firetruck.”

Only 2 minutes later, Riley stood, her hand clutching tightly onto her mom’s, in front of the big fire station.

“We go in?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Let’s go.”

The fire station was a big hall, with an engine, a ladder truck and two ambulances standing in the middle. A man who was maybe 50 years old, came to her.

“Hello! You have to be (Y/N), I am Bobby.”

“Uhm… yes.”

“You can just come with me. Buck is already waiting for you. Afraid, the food is not finished yet, but it’ll soon be. Buck said that little one loves Pasta so I made that. Is that ok with you?”

What Bobby said, made (Y/N)’s tears well up again. He even made her girlie’s favorite food.

“Yes, of course. Thank you.”

“It no problem. I actually was glad that I could make pasta instead of something which needs hours to cook.”

(Y/N) smiled and followed the captain up the stairs to a beautiful, big kitchen, she could only dream of. There also stood a couch in front of a flatscreen, where the news channel was playing on mute.

“Hey sis! You are early. Are you okay?”

“Stop worrying, Evan! I am not going to die. I feel great. Exhausted and tired but physically I am absolutely well.” (Y/N) gently nudged Evan, who barely moved at the touch, and just smiled at his twin sister.

Her brother knelt down to be on the same level as Riley.

“Hey cutie”, he cooed, when he noticed how tightly she clutched onto her bunny and tried to hide her face with it. “You want to come to uncle Evan?” The girl hesitantly let go of her mom’s hand to let Evan scoop her up on his arms, where she nestled her head on his shoulder.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to the team”, Evan said while a grin spread over his face.

He led his sister to a woman and a man who were sitting on the couch, (Y/N) noticed before, and while the man was on his phone, the woman read a medical book.

“Guys, this is (Y/N), my sister, and my niece Riley. (Y/N), this are Hen and Chimney.” Both firefighters looked up from what they were focusing at, and smiled kindly.

“Hey (Y/N)! It is so nice to finally meet you! Buck talks a lot about you and your daughter.” Hen stood up to hug her (Y/N) tightly.

Why are they so kind? They just met her. Did Evan say something why she was here and that is why they are like that? But on the other hand, Hen looked honestly kind.

“It is nice to meet y’all too. Riley? You want to say hi to Hen and Chimney?”

“Hi.” (Y/N) proudly looked at her daughter, who was normally very shy and didn’t like talking to strangers. Now, she was happy that Riley at least said something as simple as a ‘Hi”.

Evan led (Y/N) further to a young firefighter whose name was Ravi, and he was as nice as the others.

A few seconds later, a woman in a police uniform came in.

“Ah! (Y/N), this is Sergeant Athena Grant. Bobby’s wife. Athena, this is (Y/N).”

“Hi. It is great to finally meet you! Buck told us so much about you. I think I know more about you than about him! And you look very pretty in that dress!”

(Y/N) looked down at her dress, which was pink and was out of thin material so it was perfect for hot summers like this year’s.

“Thank you! And it is so nice to meet you too! Evan talked about you and your husband as if you were his second parents. I really feel like I have already met you!”

“Did he? Well, that’s nice to hear.” Athena had a smile on her face, which made (Y/N) feel reassured. She had been scared, that nobody would like her, but she was surprised how everyone welcomed her, and were like a big family. “So why do you call Buck ‘Evan’? He never lets anyone call him that. Didn’t he mention he goes by Buck?”

“Oh, he did. But I am used to call him Evan so I will just stick to that. A twin should have the right to call him that.”

“Ah yes. That’s understandable. We can talk a bit more later. Now I am going to see how my husband is doing.”

“So that was Athena. I really like her!”

“Yes, she is great.” (Y/N) had never seen her brother as happy as he was now, and she had to say, that she was glad about that. He seems to fit into that station. They accepted him just the way he was, not like their parents did, when they were young.

“I’ll introduce you to Eddie later. He is still checking the equipment.” While he said that another man came into the station. He didn’t seem to be a firefighter, as he was only wearing a shirt and shorts.

“Evan!” (Y/N) looked at her brother, the confusion written all over her face. She thought that Athena said, he didn’t let anyone call him Evan anymore. So why was that guy not calling him Buck?

“Tommy! Hey! How are you?”

“I am excellent! But are you ok, too? You still want to do it?” Evan nodded and seemed to finally realize the confusion on his twin’s face, but didn’t say anything.

___ Only a few minutes later, the 118 and (Y/N), as well as her daughter, who was contently sitting on Evan’s lap while eating her pasta, sat on the dinner table, when a man ran up the stairs.

“Sorry guys. Equipment was empty so I had to fill it up. What’d I miss?”

(Y/N) knew that voice. She knew the person, that this voice belonged to. Slowly she turned her head, hoping she was wrong. But she immediately gave up hope when she looked into the firefighter’s friendly face. (Y/N) could see his smile disappear when he saw her.

“(Y/N)?” She cleared her throat.

“Eddie. Nice to see you.”

“Umm. Yes. Great.” Why did he show her the cold shoulder? She wasn’t the one who had left. She didn’t come here just to see him. And since when was he even here in LA?  

“You guys know each other?”, Bobby asked when he saw them exchanging confused looks.

“Yes. We met some years ago”, (Y/N) said with a faked smile on her face. She watched as Eddie sat down at the other end of the table, even though there was a better place, opposite to her. Idiot, (Y/N) thought to herself.

Just then Eddie seemed to notice Riley, who was still sitting on Evan’s lap, not knowing what was going on. She could see the panic in Eddie’s eyes when he looked at her so she tried to avoid his gaze.

“Your daughter?”

“Mhm.”

“How old is she?”

“Three and a half.”

(Y/N) could see the other’s confused gazes, as they wondered why Eddie wasn’t asking what the girl’s name was. He immediately asked how old she was.

“What’s your name, sweety?”, Eddie asked the little one.

After looking at her mom, silently asking for permission, she whispered a silent “Riley”.

“Hey Riley. I am Eddie. (Y/N). We need to talk. Now!” (Y/N) slowly stood up from where she was sitting, following Eddie downstairs, after excusing herself, leaving the other 118 members confused.

“Am I right, when I am assuming she is my daughter?”

(Y/N) nodded.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?! I wouldn’t have left if you told me!”

“Right! You wouldn’t have left me for our daughter. How do you imagine that? Us being happy again, just because we have a baby? Eddie. That’s not how it works.”

“But maybe I would have tried more!”

“So, you say your daughter would have been worth fighting for but I wasn’t? That just shows me it was right to not tell you about her. I would like to go back to the team now. I was invited for lunch by my brother, so I don’t want to miss that.”

Eddie grabbed (Y/N)’s wrist to stop her from going away.

“Ouch! Damn Eddie! What the fuck are you doing?!” Her wrists still hurt from Ben holding them to tight during their fight. She could immediately feel her heart beating faster, her breathing becoming shallow and fast. She knew the signs of an incoming panic attack.

Her eyes were beginning to well up as she was back in that moment. She didn’t see Eddie anymore. She could only think of how Ben was pinning her to the wall, not letting her go.

Eddie seemed to notice the signs too. He immediately let go of her arm.

“I am sorry (Y/N).” He worried as he didn’t receive an answer. “Hey! (Y/N)? Can you hear me? Fuck!”

All Eddie could see was the panic in (Y/N)’s eyes. The tears. How shallow and fast her breathing was.

“Hey?! I need help down here!”

Almost immediately Buck, Hen and Bobby ran down the stairs.

“Hen! Grab the medkit.”

“Fuck! Eddie, what have you done?”, was all Buck said before grabbing his sister by her shoulders and gently shaking her.

“I did nothing! We just talked and then she wanted to go and I grabbed her – gently - so she can’t just run away and she let out a pained cry and then she went straight into a panic attack!”

“Shit! Where did you grab her?” Evan looked at Eddie with a furious but concerned face.

“Just her wrist!” Eddie looked confused and a bit panicked, as he had never seen (Y/N) having a panic attack.

“Damn!” Evan still tried to make (Y/N) talk to him but it didn’t seem to work, so he led his sister to a bench nearby. In the meanwhile, Hen came back with the medkit. Eddie immediately pulled out a pulse-oximeter which he put on (Y/N)’s index finger.

Next, he took the bp cuff while Hen looked at the numbers on the pulse-oximeter, which were blinking, while the device was beeping loudly.

“Pulse is at 126, stats are at 93%.”

“Let’s get her some oxygen”, Eddie said, so Hen immediately went to get the oxygen tank. “Hey (Y/N). Listen to me. I didn’t want to get mad. I just was surprised. Can you try to breathe slowly? For me? Please try it.” Eddie took some deep breaths to show (Y/N) how to do it. What had he just done to make her that anxious that she went straight onto a panic attack?

Slowly, (Y/N)’s breathing started to get better.

“Buck? Do you know what was going on? What happened?”

“She had a bad fight with her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. I am not so sure about that. He hit her and grabbed her. Pinned her to the wall. I think you grabbing her wrist brought the memories back and made it feel too real. I brought her here today, so you guys could have a look at her injuries as she didn’t want to go to hospital. I didn’t think she would have a panic attack! I wanted her to have a good day!” Evan still looked worried at (Y/N).

“Buck. It is not your fault. I made her panic. I was mad at her.” His best friend doesn’t just look worried anymore, now he also looked confused.

“What was even going on that you were mad? You never said that you knew my sister!”

“Why should I know that my (Y/N) is your (Y/N)? And I think she should tell you what was going on. That is not about me. I mean it is. But I shouldn’t tell you.” Eddie furrowed his brow.

(Y/N), who was still breathing into the oxygen mask, shot Eddie a thankful gaze. Her panic started to slowly ebb away, but she still felt dizzy and could feel her heart racing. Eddie carefully lifted her hand up to look at the pulse-oximeter once more, the numbers on it were stabilizing which made him let out a deep, relieved breath.

“(Y/N)? May I have a look at the injuries Buck mentioned?”, the man asked with a soft voice. (Y/N) nodded after looking at her brother just to get a reassuring gaze.

Eddie lifted her pullover up a bit, what was followed by a hissing sound he let out, as he saw the purple bruises all over her upper body. He gently pressed on different places, apologizing as (Y/N) let out a silent whimper.

“I don’t see any concerning injuries. They are going to hurt for a few days, but then you will be ok. Buck said that was you ex?” He took a deep breath as he saw (Y/N) nodding.

“Yes, but I really don’t want to talk about that now. Can I maybe finish my food and then go home?”

“Yes, of course”, Evan said, before leading (Y/N) upstairs, closely followed by Eddie, Hen and Bobby.

Riley still sat on the dinner table, now on Tommy’s lap, instead of Buck’s. She was babbling something, only she could understand, a serious look on her face.

Tommy was smiling and nodding, and (Y/N) noticed the way her brother looked at the man. Were they friends? Evan never mentioned Tommy, so they couldn’t be friends since long.

“Mommy! Pasta yummy! Tommy great!” The little girl smiled happily at her mom.

“I gave her a chocolate pudding. I hope that’s ok?”

“Yes. She loves chocolate.” (Y/N)’s voice sounded a little hoarse and her throat felt tight and sore. The young mom looked at Eddie and immediately sees his heartwarming gaze. “Riley? Do you want to go to Eddie for a moment? I am sure he wants to show you the firetruck.”

“Big car?”

“Yes, the big car. Do you want to see it?” The three-year-old grinned and toddled over to Eddie, who she doesn’t know yet, is her dad. He thankfully looked at (Y/N) before he scooped the toddler up and went downstairs with her.

“Ok, sis. You really need to tell me what’s going on between you and Eddie!” Evan looked at his twin, desperate for information.

“We had a thing. A bit over four years ago.”

“Four years? Is Riley…?”

“Yep. She is his daughter if you wanted to know that.”

“Oh. Wow. My sister and my best friend have a kid. You know Eddie has a son, right?”

“I do. I have often seen Chris when Eddie and I were dating. He is such a sweetheart. He actually didn’t want to leave when Eddie left.” (Y/N) felt the tears welling up in her eyes again. She always loved Chris. She thought of him as if he was her own son. In the two years in which she was dating Eddie, she often spent time with Chris. They visited the zoo or the aquarium. She would have done everything for the little boy, who she thought had to had grown since she has seen him the last time. What age is he now? 13?

“Yes, he is someone special. He is a happy person. Has grown up in the last few years. He had his first dates just a few weeks ago.” Evan knew that (Y/N) needed to know that. She had to know that this little guy is now a young man.

“Dates? Plural?” (Y/N) raised an eyebrow, which made Evan laugh.

“Yes. Dates. Eddie asked me to talk to him about that, which I did.”

“Eddie asked you to talk to his son about dating?” She laughed. Evan wasn’t a good person to ask for dating advice. She did once, but the only ‘advice’ she had gotten was, she should just wear shorts and a short top and her crush would immediately notice her. Since that day, (Y/N) has never asked her twin for dating advice again.

“Yes, he did. And Chris had some problems. Said, that everyone would leave anyway. His mom, Carla, Ana, maybe even you. It was hard for him to see that. But I think he understands it now. I mean why they have left.” His sister looked confused.

“Shannon left? And who the fuck are Carla and Ana.” Buck could tell that his sister was a bit jealous.  She wondered who Carla and Ana were. Were they girlfriends of Eddie?

“Shannon didn’t exactly leave. I mean she did, but Chris didn’t know at first. She died shortly after she had told Eddie, that she would leave. And Carla takes care of Chris when Eddie’s at work. She worked for my ex and when Eddie came with Chris, he didn’t exactly know what to do so I introduced him to her. And Ana is Eddie’s ex. They broke up after Eddie had a panic attack and realized he didn’t really love her.” Evan laughed at his twin’s face. She looked absolutely overwhelmed by information.

“Wait. Shannon died? I met her a few times; this is so sad. She was a nice person. She was always friendly. We even were shopping once. And Carla isn’t Eddie’s girlfriend or ex? And Eddie had a panic attack? That is so confusing.” (Y/N) furrowed her brow.

“Yes. She died a few years ago. It was an accident. He even was on the scene. And nope. Carla wasn’t and still isn’t Eddie’s girlfriend.” Evan looked at his sister. “You still love him.” It wasn’t a question. He knew it. He could tell by the way (Y/N) looked at Eddie. How she wanted to know if Eddie was free.

But (Y/N) knew she didn’t want to still be in love with Eddie. He left once. What if he would leave again. Right now, she couldn’t even take her eyes off him, showing Riley the firetruck, because she was scared if he could do anything wrong. She didn’t trust him anymore. Not like she used to.

“I don’t want to talk about me anymore. Let’s talk about you. Who is Tommy? You have never mentioned him before.” (Y/N) looked at Evan as he seemed to be really interested in the ceiling, he was staring at.

“Um. I am honestly not really sure.” He cleared his throat, desperately searching for his next words. “We… I like him. So, we were on a date. I asked him to be my date at Maddie’s wedding, after things didn’t go well at the date and I have talked to Maddie and Eddie and they gave me some good advice. Not like I used to.” Evan chuckled, as well as his sister.

“I am happy for you.” (Y/N) smiled at him.

“You are not surprised?” She laughed at Evan’s confused gaze.

“That you are into boys? Nah. Are you surprised?” Now the confusion was written over both their faces

 “Of course I am.”

“I could have told you were into boys as soon as you had that crush on Liam in Highschool.” (Y/N) laughed.

“I didn’t have a crush on Liam!”

“What was it then? You having a platonically crush on him?”

“I had a crush on his sister!” Evan looked absolutely panicked.

“Definitely not. You barely talked about Cameron. Much more about Liam.”

“Oh my god. I had a crush on Liam.” The realization was all written over his face.

“Now go and spend some time with you boyfriend.” (Y/N) nodded in Tommy’s direction.

“He is not officially my boyfriend yet.”

“Then go change that.” (Y/N) hugged Evan tightly. “I am going to go soon. Riley has to take a nap and then I will go have a look at LA’s bustling city life. But first I need to have a short talk to Tommy. Go say bye to your niece. In the meanwhile.” Evan looked a bit unsure of what to do but then ran down the stairs to Eddie and Riley.

“Hey” So you have to be Tommy.” The man looked at (Y/N) with a curious look on his face.

“Yes?”

“Don’t hurt my brother. He hasn’t had an easy life and it looks like he just realized he is into boys – idiot – so just treat him right. He deserves the world with everything he had been through. It may be that he’ll need some time to adjust to everything but he’ll understand everything soon.”

“Don’t worry. I know he is great.”

“Good. See you soon!” (Y/N) smiled at Tommy, who stood up to gently hug her.

“Bye everyone! It was nice to see y’all but I really need to go now.”

Everyone said goodbye and hugged (Y/N).

Maybe she worried without any reason. Everyone accepted her. Everyone liked her. She could have never imagined that. Not in the last 2 years with Ben. She wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without him. When they were with friends, he didn’t want her to talk to others, not even her closest friends.

Slowly, (Y/N) walked down the stairs where she found Eddie and Riley laughing. Her daughter sat on the driver’s side of the truck and giggled happily as she pretended to drive.

“Riley. We need to go home now, ok?”

“Mommy. It is funny. Don’t want to go.” The three-year-old looked like she was on the verge to cry.

“We can come back another time, but you really need to make your nap and then we want to go to the mall shopping. Mommy needs new clothes, as well as you do.” (Y/N) came to her brother with only one suitcase and most of the contents was Riley’s stuff.

“Shopping?” Riley’s eyes lit up at the thought of going to the mall with her mom. She loves to try on the pretty clothes.

“Yes, sweety.” Eddie helped Riley out of the firetruck.

“It was nice to see you again. Maybe we can go have dinner next week? I really want to see Riley and spend some time with her, but I would understand if you want to talk to me before”, Eddie said, which (Y/N) appreciated as it was true. She first wanted to set some boundaries before letting Eddie spend time with her daughter.

“Invite us over for Paella and I’ll think about it.” (Y/N) grinned, which showed Eddie she was just joking.

“Us? You want to bring Riley with you? Are you ok with that?”

“I am sure Chris wants to meet his little sister.”

“Tuesday, 6 pm. Ok?” (Y/N) nodded.

“See you there. I’ll ask Evan for your address.” She scooped Riley up and stepped in the warm LA air. (Y/N) smiled. She forgot the last time, where she had been happy like today.

The day didn’t go like planned, but it was great either way. She hasn’t seen Eddie in 4 years, and even though she doesn’t know hoe to feel about it just yet, she was happy to have the chance to spend time with him. Riley could finally get to know her dad.

(Y/N) took a deep breath. She could smell the ocean and sunscreen. She absolutely loved it.

“Let’s go home, Riley.”

---

(Y/N) has been standing in front of the closet for 2 hours.

“But are you sure? I feel like I look a bit too slutty.” She looked down at her black shorts and the baby blue top she wore, to black high heels.

“You look beautiful, (Y/N). And you can let Eddie see what he has missed in the last years.” (Y/N) shot her sister an annoyed look.

“Maddie! I feel like you don’t take my problem serious!” Maddie laughed.

“That’s because I don’t. You looked amazing in every single outfit you have tried on today!”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Maddie took one step closer to give her sister a hug. “Eddie has already seen you in joggers, when you two were a couple. He won’t care what you wear. Boys don’t care as much about outfits as we do. Just trust your gut.”

“Thank you, Maddie.”

“It was no problem.”

---

“Hey (Y/N)! Riley! Come in. The paella is nearly finished. I hope you are hungry?”

“We definitely are, aren’t we, Riley?” (Y/N) gently nudged her daughter’s arm.

“Hungry!” Eddie chuckled. He suddenly felt absolutely overwhelmed by emotions. The young girl had the same small birthmark under her eye, that he has. She scrunched her nose the same way he did. She was half him. Yes, he had a son. He loved Chris. But he also loved Riley. She was suddenly there. He didn’t see that coming.

Dinner went absolutely well. They had great conversations, and both Chris and (Y/N) were happy to meet again after so long.

“How is school, Chris?” The boy scrunched his face at the mention of that hated place.

“I have good grades, but I still don’t like going there. I have many friends there. Denny is in my course since this year, so it makes at least a little bit more fun.”

“Who is Denny?”, (Y/N) asked, as she didn’t think that anyone has mentioned this name before.

“Hen’s son”, Eddie explained.

“Ah. Ok. I am so, so happy for you!”

“Chris, buddy? Do you want to go watch tv with Riley? You could watch a cartoon?”, Eddie asked as he noticed Riley’s eyes growing heavier so she was barely awake.

“Why not.” The 13-year-old made his way to the living room with Riley following close behind.

(Y/N) was the first one to speak. “You can spend time with Riley if you want to. At the beginning, not too much. Maybe you go to the park or the zoo and then bring her back home to me. When you spent time with her more often and she likes it, you can have her for a whole day and if that works out, she could stay overnight at some point. But I want to meet up with you too. She is our daughter so we should show her that we are her parents. I don’t want her to think we hate each other. And I want our meet ups to be a date. I want to go on a date with you. I still love you. I have never stopped loving you. When I was with Ben, I often thought about how my love would be if I had reached out to you. If I hadn’t let you go. I want a date. And I want to know why you left me.”

Eddie looked a bit overwhelmed and confused, but he nodded.

“Ok. We can to that. I like you to. I love you. And I left because Shannon did. She left Chris with me and I didn’t know how to manage a girlfriend and a son. I first had to figure out what having a kid was like. I wanted to marry you before Shannon left. I already had bought an engagement ring. I loved you. Love you. But I wasn’t sure what to do. I am really sorry. I didn’t really want to leave you but I felt like I had to.”

“You wanted to marry me?”

“I did.” Eddie nodded, and (Y/N) could see all the regret in his eyes.

“We go on a date. And if you still love me - and I still love you – propose to me.”

Eddie grinned.

“That works for me.”

(Y/N) stood up from where she was sitting, went to Eddie who was leaning on the kitchen counter, stood on her toes to be high enough to kiss him. It was some kind of promise. She loves Eddie. She would do everything to make it work this time. She would die for him.

With a heavy heart, (Y/N) pulled away from Eddie.

“I need to go now. But I still have your number. I’ll call you.”

(Y/N) went to the living room, scooped Riley up from where she sat on the couch and went out of Eddie’s house.

She didn’t know why, but something didn’t feel right. It was already dark outside. Anxiously, (Y/N) looked around. Nothing is wrong. She is just overthinking too much.

“Hey babe. You really thought you could leave me?”

omg I am so sorry I just realized I forgot to post another fanfic haha. I will try to do it later today (in abt 15 hrs haha bc it is 1:45 am and I should really go to sleep). the next fic will be a chenford one and I don’t have any more fics finished and don’t have many ideas so you can send in requests if you want to <3. I watched many tv shows ig so you can also ask if I write for any fandom you would like to read something for (I also write for a few tennis players or at least I currently try to so you can also send in requests for that)

is here anyone who can speak french and is able to explain this language to me…….

Who's the dad

This is a Evan Buckley (9-1-1) fanfiction I have finally decided to post. It is the first or second fanfiction I have written in my whole life so this is probably bad. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it.<3

Summary: A few months after a one-night stand leaves (Y/N) pregnant, she unexpectedly meets the baby's father at a BBQ at her dad's fire station.

The blonde guy was hot, (Y/N) had to admit. His baby blue shirt lets his eyes glow in the most perfect way.

“So why are you here today?”, (Y/N) asked. They both had a silent deal: no name’s, no prying for information.

“Hard day at work”, the man answered. “You?”

“Hard week.” (Y/N) knew she was already drunk, but she ordered another tequila. In the afternoon, she brought her kids to their grandparents, Bobby and Athena. The reason she told them: I need the evening for drinking until I don’t even know my name anymore.

She knew drinking wasn’t going to solve her problem, but it would numb her for at least one night. It would make her forget the pain.

The man nodded, but she didn’t even know what she had said before.

They drank a few drinks together until both of them saw black spots dancing in front of their eyes.

(Y/N) knew it was wrong what she wanted to do know. She wanted to kiss this man. She wanted to forget why she was here tonight. She knew exactly how wrong it would be. How disappointed everyone would look at her. But screw it. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

She leant forward and pressed a kiss on his lips. It felt so right, but so wrong. It didn’t matter. The blonde deepened the kiss. The next thing (Y/N) knew was that they were in the man’s apartment. In his bed.

___

(Y/N) did her best to hide the baby bump – but it didn’t help much. Maybe she could tell everyone she has just eaten too much when they were in Europe. She hasn’t seen anyone of her family in the last 5 months. They didn’t know she was pregnant and they are not supposed to. Half a year ago she packed her stuff and drove away with the kids.

After her husband died and she slept with this stranger, she had to leave. She wasn’t able to stay anymore. She was ashamed of herself. How was she able to sleep with someone just some hours after Henry died? They weren’t always happy but she loved him. He had been her world. Until he was gone.

“Mommy? How much longer we have to drive?” James asked from the back of the car. He was the most impatient of her kids.

“Only around half an hour then you can finally see grandpa and grandma again.”

(Y/N) heard a sigh from her son and chuckled.

“Is there going to be cake? Is grandpa going to make pasta for us?” Cameron. She and James are twins and couldn’t be more similar. Both impatient and always hungry until they ate two bites and complain about being too full to eat any more.

“I don’t know. I have never been to a party at the station.” Nobody knew they were going to come. It was going to be a surprise.

Suddenly, Emily began to cry in her seat. The two-year old always slept in the car, but when she woke up, she always had a shock and started to cry when she noticed they were driving.

“Liv, can you please give Emily her pacifier?” The 14-year-old didn’t seem to hear her mom, as she had her headphones in her ears and scrolled through TikTok’s.

“Liv! Give your sister her damn pacifier!” Finally.

After two weeks in Europe, (Y/N) was already super annoyed. She tried to keep it cool, but it wasn’t easy to be with four kids and pregnant when she didn’t have her husband around.

___

Just a few minutes later, (Y/N) parked in front of the firehouse. She had been here before. Not inside it but she had dropped off her father a few times when his car was at the car repair.

“Ok! We are here! All out of the car!” (Y/N) picked up her youngest and followed the rest of the kids inside the firehouse.

She didn’t see many people downstairs, but around 50 people were upstairs.

“(Y/N)? Hey! You’re back! Where were you in the last few months? We tried to call you but you didn’t answer. We were so worried!” Bobby literally ran to her and hugged her as tightly as possible with Emily between them. “She grew up so much”, he said, reaching out to stroke Emily’s back.

“Yes. She absolutely did.” (Y/N) could see the worried and exhausted expression on her father’s face and immediately felt sorry for not even writing him and Athena a message that she and the kids were ok.

“May I introduce you to the team?”, Bobby asked after hugging the twins and Liv, who finally put away her headphones.

The 118’s Captain led his family to a bunch of people in uniforms.

“These guys are Eddie, Chimney, Hen and Buck.” (Y/N)’s breath caught in her throat. Fuck. The super-hot guy stood in front of her. With his uniform he looked even better that in his baby blue shirt he wore the last time. Why the fuck did she still remember what this guy had worn when they met in the bar?!

“Meet (Y/N), Liv, James, Cameron and Emily.”

“Hey! Nice to meet y’all”, (Y/N) said overly friendly, trying to hide the surprise, as well as Buck did.

“Grandpa? You have cake?”, Cameron asked Bobby.

“Of course. A party without cake isn’t a party. Come on, I’ll show you all.” Bobby led the kids away from (Y/N) and the team, over to the kitchen island on which many plates of cake were standing.

“’So… you are Cap’s daughter?”, a brown-haired man asked, who (Y/N) remembered as Eddie.

“Yepp, that’s me.” (Y/N) looked at Buck who looked just as surprised, as she felt.

“So, you are Buck?”, she asked him just as a try to build a conversation. She tugged gently on her shirt, as she didn’t want Buck to notice her baby bump.

“Uhm… yes. I am. Evan Buckley. So… these are your kids? You look quite young”, Buck asked and (Y/N) furrowed her brow until she realized, they haven’t talked about ages when they spent the night together. She was quite young for already having 4 kids. She had Liv when she was 16, but she barely told people, as she always got these judging looks.

“Yes, they are.” (Y/N) stared at the ground, unable to hold eye contact with the man she had a breathtaking night.

“Father’s not in the picture?”, Eddie asked and (Y/N) could see that Buck was relieved, that his friend asked the question, so he didn’t seem too suspicious.

“Um, no. He died 5 months ago. Car accident.” Instead of staring at the ground, (Y/N) now looked at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears, which always threatened to flow freely, whenever she talked about her late husband.

When she finally managed to make eye contact with Evan, she could see pain written over his face. Her husband died 5 months ago, around the same time, she slept with him. Had he been some kind of replacement? He knew they agreed to one night – no personal information, but it still hurt to know she didn’t actually feel the tiniest bit. She only had tried to compensate everything.

---

Around 3 hours later, in which the 118 got a small call once but came back after only one and a half hour, they all sat at the big table, because it was dinner time. Most of the time, (Y/N) stood on the sidelines, as she didn’t really feel comfortable around all these people she barely knew, and Buck. Nobody seemed to have noticed the baby bump which was covered under her shirt.

And now, (Y/N) even felt nauseous and had cramps in her lower belly. Her other pregnancies had gone quite well, except the last few months with the twins, but this pregnancy was terrible. She already had to go to hospital 4 times in the last 5 months, as she couldn’t keep anything down and had been severely dehydrated.

After only 2 bites, (Y/N) had to lay down the fork because she felt like she would throw up right away if she ate only one more bite. She had already thrown up breakfast and everything she drank today. She was lucky no one noticed she hasn’t eaten a piece of cake before.  

“Are you ok?”, the brown-haired man from before asked. Eddie? (Y/N) has always been terrible with names and couldn’t remember any. It took her 2 weeks to even remember Henry’s name after she met him, something he also made fun of, even years later.

“Uh yes. Just not feeling too great today”, she answered, trying to suppress the feeling to be sick. Her throat felt tight and her stomach felt like it was twisting and turning. The cramps were still present. She knew she wasn’t having a miscarriage as she once had one, and it felt different. The symptoms were pretty much the same, but she had another feeling. She had felt like something was missing, but this here wasn’t any better.

“You sure? You don’t look too good and you haven’t eaten much. Don’t you like the food?”, her father intervened now.

“The food’s great. Really. I haven’t been feeling my best today, that’s it.”

“Do you want one of the medics to take a look at you?” Bobby really seemed worried, but his daughter waved him off.

“Dad. Don’t make more out of it than it is.” Her dad made an acknowledging sound and (Y/N) thanked him silently with a small nod.

(Y/N) fidgeted with her hands, a nervous habit, she always did when she felt uncomfortable. Today, this many people were too much. She has never liked being around many people for a long time. She felt like everyone was staring at her and making fun off her or thinking of her as a disappointment when she did something wrong. Her kids were different, except of Liv. Liv came after her mom in these things, while the others luckily came after their dad and were the most social persons in this world.

Everyone looked at (Y/N), as she suddenly stood up, because a wave of nausea waved over her. As fast as possible she went to the restrooms, but only made it to the sink, where she threw up the bit of water she had managed to drink before. She rinsed her mouth and looked in the mirror. She looked like shit. Her skin was pale and her lips dry.

The door opened, and a woman stepped inside. She was around as tall as (Y/N) was and wore a wine-red shirt, that showed she worked at the 911 dispatch center. Had she been at the dinner table before? Or has (Y/N) just not seen her?

“Oh hey. Sorry. Just needed a break from out there. Who are you? I have never seen you here before. I am Maddie by the way. Chimney’s fiancé, Buck’s sister.”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. Buck’s sister?

“(Y/N). Bobby’s daughter. Nice to meet you.”

“Are you okay? You don’t look too well.” Again, this question. No, she wasn’t ok. But she didn’t say anything, so everyone should stop asking her. If she wanted someone to know she wasn’t well, she would tell.

“It’s okay. Just not feeling my best today.” Maddie nodded.

“Ok.” She didn’t pry further to get information, what (Y/N) was very thankful for.

“Soo. You are Bobby’s daughter? Athena has never mentioned, that Bobby has a daughter. She usually talks about everything.” Maddie furrowed her brow.

(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders.

“He doesn’t like talking about his private life too much.”

(Y/N) went back to the table, after she was sure she wouldn’t have to throw up again. But when she arrived at the dinner table again, she felt she was dizzy. Congratulations. First, she was sick and now she was dizzy because she didn’t drink or eat enough today.

She caught Bobby’s concerned gaze as he was looking at her, before everything went black.

___

“Heyyy! Here we go. You with us again?” She felt something painful on her chest and after a few moments she realized it was someone performing sternal rub to bring her back around. (Y/N) grumbled something.

When she tried to sit up again, there was a firm hand on her shoulder that kept her laid down.

“Damn, let me sit up if I want to. I am fine.” But (Y/N) noticed on her own how hoarse she sounded from being sick.

The hand suddenly disappeared from her shoulder, but when (Y/N) sat up, the hand was back at her back to steady her and kept her from falling over. Finally, she managed to open her eyes and caught look on the brown-haired man – Eddie. Evan sat directly next to her.

“We are just going to check a few things, ok?” All (Y/N) did, was giving an acknowledging sound from her.

The next thing she felt was a pulse-oximeter being slipped on her index finger and a blood pressure cuff on the other arm. She winced when Eddie inflated it and it squeezed tightly around her arm, which made her eyes well up with tears.

She had never liked the BP reading. When she was a kid, she cried freely as it made her arm feel like needles were jabbing it.

“Sorry.” Eddie was quick to deflate the cuff again after noticing the tears in (Y/N)’s eyes but she just shook her head to show everything’s ok. “BP’s 108/70. We are going to give you something to raise it again.”

“No! Wait!” (Y/N) frantically said. “I… I…” She made a sign for Eddie to come near to her so she could whisper into his ear without anyone hearing it. “I am pregnant but no one can know yet. I didn’t tell anyone.”

“Okayyy… I think we should go somewhere more private.” (Y/N) nodded agreeing.

Despite the other’s confused looks, they made their way to the locker room. Once they were there, Eddie began talking again.

“Has this happened before?”

“Yes, I already was in hospital because of it but it is just this morning sickness. I can’t keep anything down and it makes me dehydrated.” When (Y/N) looked to her right, she could see Buck looking at them but he couldn’t hear anything, right? He wasn’t as near and it was quite loud upstairs.

“Mhm. I want to hook you up on an IV if that’s ok with you? I don’t want you to be as dehydrated as you are now and I figure you don’t want a trip to the ER?”

“Yes, if that is possible, please.”

Only a few seconds later, (Y/N) could see her dad storming into the locker room.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” He looked kind of mad but also worried.

“Ehm… It is complica…”

“She is dehydrated because she didn’t drink or eat enough. She just wants to be alone for a moment and I can give her an IV,” Eddie intervened. (Y/N) shot him a thankful gaze and a tiny smile. She liked Eddie. He was really kind. She couldn’t think of any of her friends, who would do that for her.

“Mhm. Ok. I am going to call Athena. She said she would be here earlier. I’ll come back later.”

Bobby disappeared as fast as he came into the room.

“Thanks. For not telling him.” Eddie smiled at her.

“It’s not on me. And I think there are going to be better circumstances for that talk. How far are you?”

“5 months.”

“Ah. May I ask…”, he hesitated for a moment. “Is it your late husband’s baby?”

“No.” You didn’t know for sure why you told him, but he kind of let you feel calm and safe. “We didn’t… you know… the time before he died. We argued a lot. Had a one-night stand just a few hours after he died.”

“You know the father? Were you able to call and tell him?” Eddie looked honestly interested while he put an IV bag out of the medkit.

(Y/N) shook her head before nodding.

“I haven’t seen him… until today.” Eddie looked shocked and raised his eyebrows.

“Today? Is he here? At the station?”

(Y/N) nodded guiltily and looked at the ground when she heard Eddie chuckle.

“Damn, tell me more. Who is it?”

“Buck.”

“Buck?” The firefighter looked even more shocked than before and you nodded again.

“I didn’t know his name we agreed to ‘no personal information’. Why would I know he worked at my dad’s workplace? God… when he will find out he is going to be so pissed.” Eddie shook his head.

“Nah, I don’t think so. He will understand. And hey. You don’t have to defend yourself.” She smiled at his kindness.

She watched as Eddie swabbed the alcohol pad over the back of her hand.

“I would recommend to close your eyes if you are not good with needles”, he suggested. But (Y/N) couldn’t. She needed to see what Eddie was doing, even though she wasn’t good with needles. When the firefighter pushed the needle in the back of her hand, she let out a small squeal.

“Told you to keep your eyes closed but you refused to listen.” She heard Eddie chuckle. “Do you have any other symptoms I should be worried about?”

“I have cramps”, she admitted.

“Lower belly?” (Y/N) nodded. Why couldn’t she just have been home. She would lie on the couch and relax, but instead she was here, being poked and prodded by a firefighter.

“Can I take a look?” She nodded again. Eddie pulled her shirt over her abdomen and pressed his palm on different spots. (Y/N) looked upstairs, and froze. Fuck. She forgot that Evan was still standing upstairs, looking at the locker room. Looking at her.

Her eyes widened. Why had she agreed to this? Why didn’t she insist on being ok and went home? Why was she so stupid? She wanted to slap herself for not thinking.

Eddie seemed to notice her sudden panic, the pulse-oximeter, which was still clipped to her finger, chirped in high pitched noises.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. Deep breaths. What’s up?”

“B… Buck.” The firefighter looked where she was pointing at and sucked in a deep breath.

“Ok. That’s ok. We’ll fix that, after we are finished here, ok? It’ll be ok. Don’t worry. Try to breathe with me, the baby won’t like you breathing like that.” Demonstrative, Eddie took some deep breaths. “Do you know the gender yet?”

(Y/N) could tell that Eddie was only trying to distract her but she played along.

“A… girl. It’s a girl. Again.” She laughed. Her breathing became slower, steadier.

“That’s great. You already told your kids?”

“Mhm.”

“How did they react? Are they happy?” Eddie grinned at her.

“Y… yes. They are. James was a bit d- disappointed at first. H- he hoped he would finally get a brother t- to play soccer with.” (Y/N) smiled. “But the g- girls were all over t-the moon.”

The brown-haired man, put an oxygen mask over her face, which she tried to pull off, but his hand was immediately back, to hold the mask in place.

“Let it on, please”, he said with a look at the pulse-oximeter which was still chirping. “It’ll make it easier to breathe for you.

(Y/N) nodded, even though she hated the feeling of the mask, which made her feel the opposite of ‘easier to breathe’.

“Can I have a listen to the baby’s heartbeat?” After he had seen (Y/N) nodded again, he took the stethoscope and pressed the diaphragm to her belly.

“Looks good so far. The heartbeat is a bit fast for my liking but it’s nothing too concerning, just take some deep breaths, ok?”

“Copy, Firefighter Diaz.” (Y/N) took some deep breaths.

Just a few seconds later, someone stormed into the locker room. Buck.

“You… you are pregnant?” Buck hoped that (Y/N) would tell him it wasn’t his. That it was her husband’s.

“Yes.” She was surprised that her voice didn’t sound as high and panicking as she thought it would. She was scared. Scared of Buck’s reaction, which became even more clear, as the pulse-oximeter started to chirp frantically again.

Eddie took a look and was surprised how high the shown numbers were.

“Deep breaths”, he commanded her. But she couldn’t.

“Who’s the dad? Is it mine? Or is there a tiny chance, that it is your husband’s?” Even though (Y/N) thought something like that would come out of Buck’s mouth, she felt disappointment deep in her. She hoped he would not sound as panicked as he was now.

“Your’s.” (Y/N) fell silent, holding her breath in anticipation of what Evan would say now.

“Oh… wow. I have to admit that is a shock. Why… why didn’t you tell me? I could have been there with you.”

“I didn’t have your number, your address, your workplace. Not even your name! I didn’t even know if you lived in LA or somewhere else! What should I have done?”

Eddie put the oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, that she just put off again, but she immediately put it back to the floor. She didn’t want to breathe in the oxygen. It made her feel lightheaded and nauseous and gave her a headache.

“(Y/N)! Damn, breathe properly now the baby’s not comfortable anymore. Buck, I think you should go now and let her breathe a bit without the stress, this conversation puts on her.”

“No, he won’t go now! Not until this conversation is finished!” (Y/N) glared at Eddie. She wasn’t sure if that were the pregnancy hormones speaking out of her which have made her a bit temperamental these last few months.

“What do you want to do now? Buck? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want to be a part in the baby’s life? Do you want to be part in MY life? I need to know it.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Definitely the hormones which made her act strange at the moment.

“I don’t know exactly what I want to do now. But I don’t have a girlfriend. And I want to be part of the baby’s life. I want to be their father…”

“Her. It’s a girlie. Again.” (Y/N) could see Evan smiling a bit.

“Ok. I want to be HER father and spend time with her. And I think I would like to try to go on a date… with you. If you think you are ready. I liked you the last time we met, even though that could be because I had been really drunk that night.” Buck laughed and blushed a bit.

“I think… I think we can give it a try. I don’t know if I am ready for everything. But I do know I am ready for something. And maybe that could be with you.”

“Ok… uhm… great. And now you should really try to breathe properly with that mask. I know it’s not great, but even I can recognize how high your vitals are.”

She did as she was told. (Y/N) knew she liked Buck. He was cute. She wouldn’t have imagined to see a man like him blushing when talking about a baby and dating.

“I’m nauseous.” Eddie and Buck both looked a bit worried.

“Deep breaths. I think it’s just the IV and oxygen. I put some meds in the IV that should help with the belly cramps, that could make you feel nauseous.”

(Y/N) only nodded. She suddenly felt exhausted. The adrenaline of the day started to wear of.

“I think I’m gonna drive the kids home and we are going to relax a bit while watching some tv. Thank you for everything.”

“Wait. Stop. I won’t let you drive home alone. You don’t feel good and I wouldn’t like to know you don’t have anyone with you except you kids.” She nodded again. Evan was right. It would be stupid to not have anyone around her.

“I can come with you. Just if that’s ok with you.”

“Yes. That would be great. Thanks.”

“No problem. Shall we take your car?”

“Mhm.” She was thankful. She could really imagine Buck as a boyfriend. He is great.

---

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Evan laughed. He, (Y/N) and Liv were sat on the couch, watching a firefighter show, (Y/N) and Liv had been addicted to in the last few weeks.

“It doesn’t matter! This show is great!” Liv and Evan discussed about the mistakes in the show since around 10 minutes and it made (Y/N) smile. It was like a real family. Even though it hurt her a bit that it wasn’t Henry, sitting here. But let’s be honest: Henry would have never watched a show like that.

“That doesn’t change the fact, that you don’t use the saw like that. It’s just not safe!”

“Then just do not pay attention to the details.” Now, it was Liv laughing. (Y/N) hasn’t seen her daughter that happy in the last few months. She tried to cover up her emotions but it didn’t work completely. Her eyes started to burn and she felt a pressure building up. No, she wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Evan. Her daughter. No.

“I’ll go to toilet for a moment.” She hoped nobody would notice she was about to cry, but her voice gave it away. She sounded hoarse and her voice broke at some point.

She locked the bathroom door and sank down to the cold floor, where she curled up, leaning her back on the even colder wall. Her hand was rubbing circles over her swollen belly. Damn it.

(Y/N) knew she missed Henry. She knew her kids have missed him every second since his death. But she was scared. Scared that moving on with Evan would make her forget her late husband. She heard a gentle knock on the wooden bathroom door.

“May I come in?” Buck.

“Ok.” Her voice sounded hoarse. She attempted to brush the tears away but it really didn’t work. Her eyes were still read, as well as her cheeks.

She got up to unlock the door, for Buck to come in. After he stepped inside the room, he closed the door again. He sat down next to her, and (Y/N) leaned her head on his shoulder.

“What’s up?”, he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Nothing.” Evan shot her a look, that said more than a thousand words.

“This honestly doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I don’t want to forget Henry. And I am scared. I have never had a relationship before him. And I still have cramps. And I still don’t feel too good in general. And I am scared of giving birth alone. And I am scared of everything else in my life.” Buck looked at her with a concerned expression and immediately pulled her into a hug as (Y/N) began to cry again.

“Ok. So, we first go to hospital, because these cramps make me worried, and then we can figure everything else out, ok?” He pressed a sloppy kiss on (Y/N)’s forehead, and she nodded.

“Mhm. But you need to help me get up, the baby is in the way.”

Hating you

This is a chenford fanfic I immediately wanted to write down when I had the idea for it. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it. <3

I don't have any other ideas finished and don't know what to write so I really beg you to send me requests....

Summary: Lucy had been bullied for years when she was younger, and was about to start a new life to get over it, but it turned out that her new boss was the person who made her life a living hell when she was younger.

She pulled out a million clothes out of her closet. She didn’t even know why. Yes, she had a new job she was going to start today, but as a police officer she would have to wear a uniform.

Still, she wanted to look good. Lucy took her phone from the bedside table. She sent a photo of three possible outfits to John Nolan and Jackson West, hoping they would help her to choose one. Only a few seconds later it was Jackson who answered first.

The second looks the best. Not as if you have tried too hard but it still shows the job is important to you.

She slipped into the dark blue jeans and the short sleeved and a bit oversized black blouse she loved. In addition, she also took her favorite earrings that she was gifted from West and Nolan after finishing the police academy. She looked into the mirror. Did she look too fat? No, she doesn’t. She is pretty the way she is. For the last ten years this was something she regularly had to tell herself.  

Should she change into something different? No. She knew from the moment she got up, that today wasn’t a good day. She just wanted to get some more sleep. She didn’t feel good; neither emotionally nor physically. She woke up with cramps in her belly, realizing she got her period, which wasn’t a great start in a new job.

But she couldn’t stay home at her first day of work.

So, she put on her shoes, poured coffee in her pink thermos and checked her bag that she didn’t forget anything. When she made sure she got everything she needed, she went to her car, where she immediately put on the air conditioning.

She absolutely didn’t look forward to wearing the long-sleeved uniform the rookies had to wear. It was 34 degrees Celsius outside; definitely too hot.

She stepped into the precinct, and immediately went to the women’s locker room. Lucy closed her locker and changed into the uniform. It was definitely more comfortable than she anticipated. But it was hotter in it than she thought.

She also swallowed a few pills of ibuprofen, hoping that it would dull the ache in her abdomen.

When Lucy stepped out of the locker room, she spotted John and Jackson, who were standing in front of the conference room.

“Hey! Are you guys ready for today?” Jackson looked quite nervous while he asked the question. “I am definitely not because I heard that our TOs are not really kind.”

“I think I am. I handled much more in my life than idiots who think they are powerful and let everyone around them feel it”, Lucy said even though she wasn’t so sure. Yes, she’d been through a lot but she was scared that she might relive it all again.

“I am not sure if I am ready. I am probably going to be older than my Training Officer so they are definitely going to make fun of me.” Nolan looked a bit worried but Lucy knew he would get through the time as a rookie.

“Nah. You can do this, Nolan. I promise”, Lucy told him.

***

A few seconds later they were the first ones to go into the conference room. They took place in the first row, something the rookies were supposed to, and waited.

The room filled quite fast and only one row was still empty. When the three last people stepped inside the room, Lucy held her breath. She felt her heartbeat becoming faster and faster.

This can’t be happening. This is not really happening, is it? Jackson nudged her shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

But all Lucy could do was sit there, frozen in her position. She knew that guy who had just taken place in the free row. The man who was staring at her with cold, bright blue eyes. His face was unreadable. He was older now. Looked more adulterous. The same cold, piercing eyes. But she remembered him. And she doubts she could ever forget him.

***

As she rounded the corner onto her street, Lucy saw him leaning against the fence, his grin sent a shiver down her spine. Tim Bradford; ten years older than her, seemed to take pleasure in plaguing her whenever he could. It had started innocently, but it had escalated over time.

"Look who's here," Tim said, his voice dripping with faked pity as he stepped in front of her, blocking her path. "Fat Little Lucy, all alone. What are you gonna do, cry?"

Lucy tried to go past him, but he moved with her, his presence threatening. "Leave me alone, Tim," she said, her voice trembling with fear.

Tim chuckled darkly; his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Or what? You gonna tell mommy and daddy? Oh, that's right, they don't care about you, do they? Just like nobody else does."

The words hit Lucy like a punch to the gut, and she felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She tried to push past him, but he grabbed her roughly by the arm, his grip bruising and painful.

"Let me go!" Lucy cried, struggling against him, but he only tightened his hold.

"Not so fast, princess," Tim said, a grin spreading across his face. "I think you need to learn some manners."

With a swift motion, he pulled out a pocket knife, the blade glinting in the sunlight. Lucy's heart pounded in her chest as she stared at the weapon, her mind racing with fear and panic.

"Please, Tim, don't," she begged, her voice barely a whisper.

But Tim just laughed, pressing the blade against her skin with a cruel smirk. "Scared, are you? Good. Maybe now you'll think twice before crossing me again."

The pain was sharp and searing as Tim carved a deep cut into Lucy's thigh, leaving behind a trail of blood. She cried out in agony, tears streaming down her face as she struggled to break free from his grasp.

But just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Tim released her with a final shove, sending her stumbling backward onto the pavement. He looked down at her, his blue eyes looking like ice.

"Remember this, Lucy," he said, his voice low. "You're nothing. And no one will ever care about you.”

***

Jackson nudged her again.

“Is everything ok?” Lucy finally felt like she could move again.

“Um… Yes. I am ok. I was just reminded of something.” She shook her head as if it could just delete the memories her brain was playing over and over again. Her hand wandered as if by itself to the scar on her thigh, that was currently covered by her uniform.

It wasn’t the only one she got while she was bullied by Tim and his friends. She has never told anyone, as she didn’t think anyone would believe her. Tim made her feel worthless. And it still sticked to her. She often had days when she wasn’t able to look in the mirror, being too ashamed by herself.

Sergeant Grey stood in the front of the room, but Lucy wasn’t really able to listen.

“West! You are with Lopez in the next months. Nolan, you are with Bishop and Chen, you are with Bradford.” The rest of what the Sergeant said, was just a blur of words to Lucy. All she could do was staring at the ceiling, begging her tears to not flow freely. She couldn’t have a breakdown. Not here. Not now.  She blamed her hormones on that, as she always was more emotional when she was on her period.

She felt a presence beside her and looked up to see Tim standing there, his expression unreadable.

"Officer Chen, right?" he asked, his tone professional.

"Yes, sir," Lucy replied, struggling to keep her voice steady.

Tim nodded, glancing at his notes.

"We’re partnered up. Ready to hit the streets?"

Lucy swallowed hard, her mind racing. "Yes, sir," she repeated, praying her voice didn't show off her fear.

How would she survive that day when she already panicked now? For a short moment, she considered going to Sergeant Grey to tell him she needs another TO, but Lucy feared he would just laugh and won’t believe her. Tim was a cop now? Nobody would believe her, a rookie, that an officer would have bullied her a few years back.

“Faster, boot! I don’t have all day to wait for you!”

Lucy got up from where she had been sat, and hurried after her TO. Her smartwatch vibrated and with a short look at the display, Lucy recognized the alarm. She had a pulse of 124! When only one single minute with Tim triggered her like that, what was going to happen after a whole day?

“Boot! Here you can get the bags and everything else we need, also the body cams. You’ll get these to the shop, never call it car, every single day, did you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” Lucy took the two bags after she attached the body cam to her uniform and followed Bradford to the car… no… shop.

She put the bags in the trunk, before taking place on the passenger seat.  

After they drove through the streets of the city for quite a while and nothing has happened yet, Tim suddenly started to yell.

“I’ve been shot! Where are you, boot?!”

Lucy looked at him; confused. Why has he been shot? She couldn’t see a wound where a bullet could have hit him?

“I’m bleeding to death, you have to call for help, where are you?! Where are you?!”

She leaned out of the car in an attempt to see a name of the street they were onto.

“Now I’m dead. It’s your fault.”

“What?” Lucy’s voice trembled. She didn’t do anything! Nothing has happened!

“Get out and walk. You can get back in when you know where you are.”

Panic threatened to overwhelm her. Fuck! Not now! She took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure.

Slowly she tried to open the door, still trying to breathe. In her head, she tried to remember the way they have been driving. But before she could remember where they were, she felt nauseous. She got hold on a tree next to the street and doubled over. Why did she have to puke in this moment? As if the situation wasn’t already embarrassing enough.

“Chen, are you ok?” She was clearly not ok! If she was, why would she stand in the middle of the sidewalk and throw up everything she has eaten today.

Lucy retched until she knew for sure that her stomach was empty by now.  

“Do I have to get you to hospital, Chen?” For a short moment she considered the advantages of this idea. But what would she say in the hospital? My boss bullied me years ago and I am still not over it so I had a panic attack because he yelled at me because he doesn’t remember anything what he did?

No. She can’t do that. She shook her head.

“Ok. But at least we go to a café now so you can drink and eat something, ok? I can’t let you do the job when you are like that.”

Lucy slumped back into the passenger seat.

“Baxter Street”, she mumbled as she closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to relief the sharp pain behind her eyes.

“What?” Tim looked confused at her.

“We’re in Baxter Street.” Tim nodded.

“Right.”

Only a few minutes later they sat in the next Starbucks. Tim reported dispatch that they would need a break. He didn’t tell the reason, but it looks like the dispatcher knew it would have to be something important if it was Tim who called in a break.

He couldn’t help but worry. Lucy said she needed the toilet, so he sat on the small table without her. Had he been too hard on her? He had been in the army; he knew that panic attacks don’t just happen. They are always triggered by something.    

He couldn’t deny the fact that he worried about Lucy. When he has first seen her, he thought she was a strong woman, that could really be a good cop one day. But he had to do a few Tim-Tests on her. He always did; with every rookie he has had so far. He needed to know what their weaknesses were.

That was his job, right? Still, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he had done something wrong.

Lucy reminded him of someone; he just couldn’t quite remember who she reminded him of.

Lucy returned from the bathroom. In the meanwhile, Bradford had already ordered coffee and a piece of chocolate cake for each of them.

Tim could see that Lucy must have cried. Her eyes were red and swollen, but he decided not to say anything about it. She didn’t cry alone in the bathroom just so everyone could notice when she came back.

“Thank you”, she said with her voice barely above a whisper when she realized Tim has ordered food and a coffee.

“I didn’t know how you’d like your coffee so I took a guess. It’s caramel macchiato I thought you may like it.”

Lucy smiled. The caramel macchiato was her favorite drink. It was her comfort beverage which she always drank when she was stressed out.

She took a sip of the hot coffee; closing her eyes as she took in the sweet taste, that was on the verge to too sweet.

“You like it?”

Lucy nodded again.

“Yes, again, thank you.”

Did Tim really become more… adulterous? Yes, he had been very harsh before, but right now he was quite kind. He ordered her a drink and food, although there was an unwritten rule that the rookies are supposed to pay for the bills.

Lucy took a bite from the cake. The chocolate melted on her tongue and it was just perfect. From her bag, she took the small container of ibuprofen she luckily remembered to pack for today. The cramps were back and she didn’t want to seem weak to Tim.

She really thought he had changed but she still didn’t want to take the risk of him using her weaknesses to hurt her.

Tim eyed her as she popped the pill into her mouth and furrowed his brow.

“Are you ok?”

Lucy nodded.

“Yes.”

Tim narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He could sense something was going on, but after the panic attack she has just had, he didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than she already seemed to be and maybe even trigger another attack.

She finished the cake and her caramel macchiato.

“Do you feel a bit better?” Tim really looked a bit worried and it didn’t seem fake.

“A bit. But it’ll be better.”

“Good. Are you ready to hit the streets again?”

Lucy nodded and plastered a forced smile on her face.

“Then, let’s go.”

As soon as Tim called in that they can go on calls again, they were sent to a call.

“7-Adam-15 on our way.”

They found Nolan and Bishop, who were already on site. John tried to calm an upset man who was standing on a car and hit the windshield with a baseball bat.

But the man ran off and Nolan immediately ran after him.

“Go, Chen! Chase him first”, Tim shouted and Lucy immediately ran off.

She managed to get to the man before Nolan did, but only because John got stuck in a gate. Talia and Tim made fun of him while Chen put the man who just ran off in handcuffs.

“Well, not bad”, Tim said after the man sat in the back of the shop. Lucy smiled a bit to herself. A real smile. This was the first moment today where she felt really happy. Like she did something right.

She looked out of the window, as she didn’t want Tim to see her smile like that and destroy this moment.

But she didn’t notice that Tim smiled at her. He couldn’t get over the fact that he liked the way her nose scrunched when she smiled and how her eyes seem to become a bit smaller.

God, he was her TO! He shouldn’t feel attracted to his boot! Get back to the hard TO who makes Tim-Tests and drives the rookies insane, he told himself. He took a deep breath and forced himself to look back at the streets.

When they drove through a small alley, Lucy spotted a guy, who was called in to be searched for robbery just an hour or so ago.

“There! This is the guy they are searching for”, Lucy exclaimed.

Tim turned he sirens on and they got out of the car, standing behind the door for a bit more safety, but in this moment the guy drew his gun and began to shoot. Only a few seconds later, another man appeared, also with a weapon and began shooting too.

Immediately, Lucy and Tim shot back.

“Stay low!” But just as her TO finished talking, he let out a loud “fuck!” and fell to the ground.

Lucy slowly rounded the car, paying attention so she wouldn’t get shot too. She packed Tim and pulled him to the back of the car so they weren’t in danger to get shot by these idiots.

“Don’t stay. Shoot back”, Tim commanded while his face was scrunched up in pain.

Lucy reloaded her gun and shot back. She managed to hit one of the men and the other one ran away as another police car appeared in the alley. John and Bishop got out of it and John immediately followed the man who had just run off while Bishop put the other in handcuffs.

The wound he got from Lucy shooting him wasn’t too bad, the bullet only grazed him and he had a small scratch on his lower abdomen but still lay crying on the street… men, Lucy though watching him.

She turned her attention back to Tim who lay on the street as well, blood pooling out of a wound in his abdomen. Lucy put her hands on the wound to apply pressure to it; hoping it would stem the bleeding at least a little bit.

She glanced over her shoulder, to have a look if the paramedics have already arrived and in the exact moment an ambulance arrived.

A woman exited and immediately ran to them.

“He… he got shot in his abdomen. It‘s bleeding heavily”, Lucy told the paramedic who had a name tag on her uniform with the name ‘Nune’ on it.

“It’s not that bad… just a scratch”, Tim said and Lucy just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

There were two types of men. The ones who cry when they get touched because it ‘hurt so much’ and the ones like Tim, who are lying on the concrete of an ally with a bullet in their abdomen and say ‘it was just a scratch’. There wasn’t something in between.

“Well, good job, boot. Now go chase the guy. We don’t want Talia to get him, right?”

Once again, Lucy rolled her eyes. This man can’t just let others win. But either way, she got up and after Nolan.

She caught up quite fast and ran the man to the ground. She handcuffed him before she pulled him to his feet and dragged him along with her. She led him to Talia’s car where she pushed him in the chair in the back of the car, before she shut the door closed.

Bradford, who was now placed on a stretcher nodded at her. She just took it as a compliment.

“To which hospital are you going to bring him?”

The paramedic told her the name of it before getting into the driver’s seat.

In that moment, Sergeant Grey appeared in the alley.

“Officer Chen. You are allowed to get home. I’ll organize another TO for you for tomorrow so please be on time.”

“Thank you, Sergeant Grey. Am I supposed to drive the car back at the station?”

“I don’t think so”, the Sergeant said with a glance at the car.

“Oh.” The car… no shop… was… damaged. Like really damaged. Was it… on fire? Oh shit…

“But Chen?”

“Yes, Sir?” Lucy turned around again.

“Bradford has a daughter. She is at daycare and Bradford won’t make it to get her home. Could you get her and maybe bring her to hospital so she can see her dad? I will see who can take her for over the night.” Lucy looked confused. Tim? A dad? Ok…

“Ehm… I can take her over the night if that’s alright?”

“That would be great. Thank you.” Lucy nodded before turning around to get a Taxi.

“Wait, what’s her name?” She didn’t know the name and she was going to need it to get her form daycare.

“Olivia. Olivia Bradford.”

Before Lucy went to daycare, she drove to the station, where she got changed and got her bag.

***

“Hello. I am here to get Olivia Bradford.”

“Are you Olivia’s mom?” The woman looked at her quite suspicious.

“No… Her dad had an accident at work and I am supposed to get her to hospital to see him.”

“Mhm…” The woman still didn’t look completely convinced. “Then, I need you name and any ID you got with you. It’s a safety measure.”

Lucy nodded and got her ID out of her bag to show it to the woman.

“Lucy Chen.” She nodded.

“Ok, I will get Olivia for you.”

Just a few seconds later a young girl appeared in the hallway.

“Who are you?” Lucy smiled at her.

“I am Lucy. I work with your dad. He had a small accident at work so I was told to get you so you can see him. Is that ok with you?”

Olivia eyed her; clearly considering if she could trust the woman standing in front of her, but then taking a step towards her and taking Lucy’s hand.

“Hm. I think so. If you work with my dad you have to be nice. I am Olivia and so old”, she held 4 fingers in the air, “but I don’t like my name so everyone calls me Livy.”

“Do you want me to call you Livy too?”, Lucy asked.  She knew better than to just call her that, knowing that kids often just say stuff without meaning it.

“Yes, that would be nice.”

“Ok.” Lucy nodded. “Then… let’s go to your dad.”

Lucy sat the girl in the car seat for kids she got from Tim’s car.

The drive to the hospital was quite fast and Livy told Lucy of her day at daycare. In only 3 minutes, Lucy knew all the daycare-gossip, Livy’s friends and what the girl had for lunch.

“Miss Lucy? Can we get food? I’m hungry.”

“Of course, sweety. What do you want to eat?” Lucy looked at the girl through the rearview mirror and laughed at the way her nose scrunched while thinking what she was craving.

“I want chicken nuggets and fries. Dad barely buys it for me because he says it isn’t healthy and I need healthy food to grow and become strong but it is just so yummy!”

For a moment Lucy considered if she should buy her the wished food if Tim was clearly against it, but who was she to withheld it when Livy’s dad just got shot. And she had seen Tim eating a burger today.

“Ok, let’s go. We can get something at the drive-through and you can eat it in the hospital, ok? Maybe your dad wants something too.” Livy nodded happily while she had a broad smile on her face.

***

Only 10 minutes later they sat in Tim’s hospital room. He was still asleep, so Lucy sat on a chair with Livy on her lap while they were eating the food they had just bought.

“Thank you, Miss Lucy. I like you.” The girl grinned with her mouth full with fries

“Just Lucy. I am not Miss Lucy that makes me sound old.” Livy looked at her.

“But you are old.” Lucy gently nudged her shoulder.

“Hey! I am not! You know, you dad is quite a bit older than I am.” She pouted.

“I know. My dad is like really old.” Lucy laughed at Livy. She loves this girl.

***

Tim slowly started to wake up. In the first moment, he didn’t even know where he was, but remembered as soon as he felt the slight burning sensation on his abdomen. He was at the hospital.

He could see two silhouettes on the small table on the window. The light was dimmed but he could still recognize Lucy but he couldn’t quite recognize the other silhouette.

“Lucy! Daddy is awake!” Lucy turned around.

“Then go hug him. But be gentle he was hurt today.”

Tim grinned as he could see his daughter running to him.

“Daddy! Do you feel better? Lucy said a bad guy hurt you.” Livy stood next to his bed, clearly wanting to get up, but she couldn’t as the bed was quite high and his daughter was really small. Lucy appeared behind the girl and lifted her to the bed, careful not to sit her anywhere near the stitches so she couldn’t accidentally hurt him.

“Mhm. Feel a bit better now. Are you ok?” Livy nodded.

“Lucy bought fries and chicken nuggets!”

Lucy gently nudged the girl’s shoulder.

“I thought we agreed not to tell your dad.” Lucy wasn’t serious. Tim could tell by the way she smiled that the girl had her wrapped around her little finger. But he really couldn’t blame her. He knew that his daughter had that effect on every person she has ever met.

“I have also bought something for you. The food in this hospital tastes like shit so we have a burger and fries for you. I don’t think it is allowed on the ICU so you should eat fast.”

Tim nodded. He didn’t really have much energy to talk at the moment. He still felt drowsy from the anesthesia and the pain in his abdomen didn’t help.

“Could you call a nurse, please? Need some more meds.”

Lucy nodded and returned only a few minutes later with a doctor and a nurse.

“Officer Bradford. The bullet hit your spleen we had to remove it in surgery. It is normal to feel pain but we can give you some meds to help with that. You need to take it easy in the next few weeks and have to stay in hospital for around 5 days. Your stitches are most likely going to be removed in 10 days or more that depends on how good the wound heals.”

Tim noticed the nurse giving him a medication through the IV; probably painkillers. At least he hopes so.

“I need to organize something where my daughter can stay. I can’t stay in hospital for 5 days…”

Lucy interrupted him.

“You can and you will! I can take care of Livy, right?” The 4-year-old nodded and grinned.

“I can’t have you taking care of my daughter. I don’t even really know you and you don’t know me and you have work to do and probably have to study for the next test.” Lucy waved him off.

“I already cleared it with Grey and the daycare. I can leave earlier than usually and Livy can stay in daycare until I get her home. We will have lots of fun.”

“Thank you, boot.”

Lucy couldn’t hope but shake her head. She knows him. He knows her. Maybe he doesn’t remember but she remembers ever single moment. She remembers how she got the scars that cover her body. She remembers the reason why she now has two fine scars on each of her arms.

 “Ok, come on Livy. We really need to let your dad rest and it is already late so you have to go to bed.” Lucy lifted her off the bed.

“No! Wait!” Livy ran back to her dad. She hugged him tightly and Tim let out a groan as it hurts his stitches how tightly she held onto him.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby girl? What’s up?” He could see tears glimmering in his daughter’s eyes.

“Are you gonna die, daddy? You are not allowed to. Mommy is not here and you have to stay with me because if you don’t, I don’t have my daddy anymore.”

Tim shook his head while he hugged Livy.

“No. I won’t leave you here. I am going to be back to normal in no time and then we can have long movie nights and eat tons of ice cream, alright?”

The girl nodded.

“Ok. Bye!” The girl ran back to Lucy who had to fight back tears. She didn’t know what had happened with Livy’s mom, but she couldn’t imagine how it felt for a little girl who doesn’t really understand what happened to her dad.

Before Lucy left the room, she turned around one last time.

“I do know you. And you know me. Better than you might think.”

With these words, she left the room and went to her car.

***

At 1 am, Lucy heard a soft knock at her bedroom door. Confused, she got up and opened the door, just to see Livy standing in the doorway. She had her stuffed rabbit they got from Tim’s home, together with clothes for Livy, pressed to her chest.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Ok. Come here.” Lucy scooped the girl up and went to the living room. On the floor laid a mattress. Lucy took the blanket and wrapped Livy in it before going to the kitchen, still having Livy in her arms.

She placed the girl on the kitchen counter, before getting milk, which she warmed up in the microwave. She mixed it with cocoa powder and handed it to Livy before scooping her up again and placing her on the couch.

“So, what is your favorite TV show?”

“Paw Patrol.” Lucy smiled.

“Excellent choice.” Lucy switched on the TV searched Paw Patrol and turned some random episode on. She placed Livy on her lap and wrapped her even tighter in the blanket.

Livy sipped on the hot chocolate every once in a while, while watching the short episode of her favorite show. While watching TV, Livy told many stories about her dad.

Lucy couldn’t help but begin to like Tim. He seemed like a great dad. Still, she couldn’t help but feel scared of him. Yes, he was a great dad but was he also a good friend? Partner? TO? Has he changed over the last years?

In that night, she decided that she had to talk to him. She hadn’t felt safe with him today when they were involved in the shooting.

She has to talk to him about it. She deserves a talk. A real talk where they can talk about her future as a police officer. Maybe she really has to ask Grey for a new TO.

***

The next day was terrible. She overslept and was late for work. Luckily everyone was understanding, as they already knew that she took care of Livy.  

The girl had insisted on calling her dad to make sure he was ok, which had also taken really long.

Her TO for today seemed annoying and she was glad as she was finally back at home. She made food for Livy and herself before they drove to the hospital. Lopez was already there. It looks like Angela and Tim were good friends, Lucy had already assumed it the day before when she had seen them talk at lunch.

“Officer Lopez? Could you please go outside with Livy for a moment?” Lucy had to talk to Tim now. She couldn’t wait longer. He panicked about this talk the whole day and had to get it behind or she was going into another panic attack.

Before she could start talking, Tim opened his mouth.

“What did you mean yesterday, when you said you know me and I know you?” Tim raised an eyebrow, his confusion turning into a smirk. "What, did I steal your lunch money or something? I was quite the troublemaker back then."

The remark hit her like a slap in the face. The casual way he joked about it, as if it was some harmless prank, made her blood boil. Lucy's eyes narrowed, and she clenched her fists at her sides, fighting to keep her composure.

“You really don’t remember me at all, do you?”

“Sorry, I really don’t; have I slept with you years ago I had a player phase a couple years back.”

Lucy shook her head trying not to cry. He had been bullying her for years! Four fucking years of torture and he didn’t even remember.

“1537 West Sunset Boulevard. I lived there. 1543. Your address. No. You didn’t steal my lunch money. You hurt me. I have scars. And not just mentally. You insulted me! Every single day of my life for almost five years! I almost killed myself because of you. And you don’t even remember me. I am still in therapy. Still have problems with my body. I have days I can’t even eat properly because you have told me I was fat so many times I stopped counting after 37 times. I have 13 scars all over my body because of you.”

Tim stared at her; his face unreadable. He remembered. She doesn’t just have a similar face like someone he has met before. She wasn’t just a one night stand he didn’t remember. Fuck. What had he done?

“Yesterday, when we were involved in the shooting, I was scared to death with you next to me because I couldn’t trust you!” Lucy started crying and her whole body was shaking but she couldn’t stop just yet. “And now I took care of your adorable daughter for one night and she told me all these stories what a great dad you are and I started liking you and I hate myself for it! I spent years in my life hating you and one night makes me like you?”

“I am sorry. Really. I am sorry I didn’t remember. I am sorry I did that to you. Really. I was an idiot back then. Had family problems and didn’t now what to do so I did the things my dad did to me to others. Tried to compensate everything.”

Lucy looked at him. Tim didn’t really understand that look.

“You really use ‘family problems’ as an excuse for tormenting me? Are you serious? You broke me! And as if it wasn’t bad enough that you were my new TO you were quite kind when I had that panic attack! You bought me chocolate cake!” Lucy felt like she was being ridiculous and overreacting but she had to let it all out now.

“Come here please.” Tim made place on his bed and pointed at the free spot. Without thinking about it she sat down on the bed and started crying. Tim rubbed gentle circles over her back.

“Like I said, I am really sorry. If you want another TO, I would understand that. But I hope you can forgive me at some point because I have changed. At least I think so. I know you can’t trust me overnight, it’s a process. And just so you know, you are damn pretty. When I have seen you in the conference room yesterday the first thought I had was ‘wow, that woman is pretty and looks so confident’. And I don’t think I broke you. Maybe but you have healed and like a bone that just gets stronger when it is healed again, you are stronger too. I have seen it when I was patrolling with you. You are a strong and damn hot woman, Lucy.”

Tim hugged her. Gently so he wouldn’t frighten her.

In that moment, the door opened and Lopez stepped inside with Livy. It was obvious that Angela heard the whole conversation, and Livy seemed to recognize the tension too, which wasn’t hard with Lucy who was still crying in Tim’s arms.

Livy ran to her and patted her cheek with her small hand.

“No crying, Lucy.” She hugged Lucy with her small arms and she couldn’t help but smile at the adorable girl.

Maybe she couldn’t trust Tim just yet. But maybe after she spent the next days with the 4-year-old and her stories about her dad it would be a little easier.

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