I Refuse To Heal

i refuse to heal

I SHIFTED TO MY DR.. NO LIKE FOR REAL THIS TIME

the very damn night i let go, stopped overcomplicating shifting, and just took a few deep breaths, then doing what i wanted & thought would work for me while affirming in the background. didn’t listen to subs throughout the day or do anything extra like i usually would, i just did what i felt like doing that night.

after about 4+ years i’m so happy i can say this. finally. it was for a short amount of time and i didn’t really do much but record a few minutes of an episode of a variety show (it was a scene with my s/o) before i got too excited & a little scared so i went back (don’t worry it’s okay to freak out but i chose to go back 😭)

it was lowkey a spooky experience but i’m so glad i can finally say i shifted to the place i’ve wanted to shift to for so long now and i know i can and will do it again and again.

after so much hope that i thought was false and me thinking i can’t shift or that shifting was an inside joke i was never in on and other stuff, i feel better now knowing that it’s real. all of it was real. all the effort i put was worth it. there’s no better feeling than that, really.

shifting is so easy and i know you can do it <3

oh i WISH it distracted me from how grating half of the cast sounds

i like that the 2021 english voices for the guy smurfs seem to range from cartoony little boy to deep voiced full grown man

i cannot fucking stand those aesthetic posts where they take FOREVER to talk about a method. LIKE, OKAY I FUCKING GET IT IT'S SO COOL IT HELPED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IT'S SO SIMPLE AND EASY JUST GET TO THE FUCKING POINT!!!! OR BETTER YET JUST WRITE IT DOWN AND POST IT LIKE THAT!

BUT NOOOO I GOTTA LISTEN TO THIS WHORE TALK ABOUT HOW HELPFUL IT ISSS AND HOW IT'S MINDBLOWINGGG 🤯🤯🤯 WHILE SHE IS TWIRLING HER HAIR FOR LIKE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES STRAIGHT LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP NOT EVERYONE HAS THE PATIENCE NOR THE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR BITCH ASS TALK JUST SAY IT AND GO!

BECAUSE WHEN YOU TRY TO GET INTO THE METHOD IT'S LIKE RIGHT AT THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF THE POST AND I CAN'T UNDERSTAND SHIT BECAUSE MY BRAINCELLS HAVE EVAPORATED LISTENING TO YOU

wondering if i should make a seperate blog to post art on. hrmmm

there are so fucking shifters following me rn but y'all I'M MOSTLY HERE TO READ FANFICS IDK WHAT TO TELL Y'ALL 😭😭😭