Love Countdown

Love Countdown

Main masterlist

PAIRING(S) | Idol Sunoo x idol Female Reader

GENRE(S) | smau, fluff, crack, friends to lovers, angst

WARNING(S) | profanity, my humour is kind broken, your mom jokes, bully,dealing with hate, etc. every chapter has its warnings!. Ignore time stamps unless said

a/n: Y/n will be 03 liner, plus Jini/Yuri will be are main face-claim. Any other ones are only used to pin point, i just use to make it a bit easier for myself. but you can imagine anyone you want to be it.

SYNOPSIS: After years of hiding your feelings, you decided that this year is the year you would confess to him.

The only problem, it seems that you choose the densest and obliviously person to have a crush on. No other than Kim Sunoo

STATUS | Complete

TAGLIST | CLOSED

Profiles

01. Fab Five 🤩✨

02. Power Rangers 🚨

CHAPTERS

001: ‘You like an idiot!’

002: ‘I like you! As a friend right?’ 🖊️

003: ‘Love playlist’

004 : ‘Seongmin vs Sunoo’

005 : ‘He got a brain you guys’

006: ‘Maybe he is still a idiot’

007: ‘L O V E shhh!’

008: ‘I’m dating who?!’

009: ‘The Nile is a river in Egypt, you’re in love‘

0010: ‘Broken heart club!’

0011: ‘He thinks for once guys’

0012: ‘I like you, i have for five years’ 🖊️

0013: ‘Wait!’

0014: ‘We date, finally!’ 🖊️

0015: ‘Five years, were worth it’

Epilogue: 'Two idiots in love'

Bonus: 'Dating or just friends'

secret secret - a kim seungmin smau

summary: late at night, kim seungmin finds a girl standing in the pouring rain, and offers her his small umbrella. after she gets home, seungmin never caught her name, or much of what she looks like. chaos strikes when the two college students attempt to find each other's identities.

pairings: kim seungmin x fem!reader , slight han x reader , lee know x reader

mentions of: yeji (itzy), soobin (txt), karina (aespa)

genre: fluff, college au, strangers to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: fluff, some angst, swearing

status: completed <3

-started 07/26/2022

-ended 08/09/2022

updates every day!

a/n: hello! this is my first ever smau on tumblr, and i am very new to this platform, so any requests/suggestions are welcome! you can always inbox me to be added to the taglist as well. hope you enjoy this new and upcoming series! -mel

profiles:

the losers club // pretty boys + hyunjin

chapter 1: tiny umbrella chapter 2: iced americano chapter 3: shivered my timbers chapter 4: no tears left to cry chapter 5: views chapter 6: lover boy chapter 7: his t-shirt chapter 8: captain han reporting for duty chapter 9: lover from a past life chapter 10: just friends chapter 11: out of all the days in the world chapter 12: inch resting chapter 13: please pick up chapter 14: houston we have a problem chapter 15: maknae treatment chapter 16: new friends chapter 17: no going back chapter 18: as long as you're happy chapter 19: told you so chapter 20: i like the view right now chapter 21: changbin u get no bitches chapter 22: simpmin chapter 23 (finale): prettier than the entire night sky epilogue: years along the line

pairing: childhoodbff!Jake x fem!reader

summary: in which Y/N has already accepted the fact that she will never be anything more than a best friend to Jake. She’s fine. She’s kept it all together for so long. However, Sunoo is a force to reckon with and he will do anything in his power to get Jake and Y/N together—Oh, and not to mention Sunoo really hates Jake’s current girlfriend, much to the annoyance of Y/N.

includes: fluff, light angst, crack (as it should!) and Sunoo being the bestest friend you could ever ask for… in his own strange ways.

warnings: cursing oop.

featuring: ENHYPEN, TXT and ITZY

status: COMPLETED

started: may 31, 2021

ended: july 13, 2021

extras (memes): one two three four five six seven

director’s cut: one two

profiles 1 / profiles 2

act 1: sunoo chooses violence

act 2: Y/N MY BELOVED

act 3: selective reading

act 4: my [redacted] senses are tingling

act 5: different typa dumb

act 6: mf I’m no Hypno

act 7: he (allegedly) is jealous your honor!

act 8: on the same wavelength

act 9: 🔊 BULLY HIM 🔊 HARDER 🔊

act 10: club hours (read: chaos)

act 11: NOT THE GOVERNMENT NAMES

act 12: SNITCH!

act 13: worst 3 minutes of my life

act 14: RUN SUNOO RUN

act 15: an inch resting turn of events

act 16: I SAID COLOR

act 17: goody two shoes

act 18: you’re stupid I like that in a man

act 19: damn… I kinda don’t care (🤡)

act 20: www.jakeisafuckingdumbass.com

act 21: not u simping again 🤢

act 22: major bruh moment

act 23: you’re an idiot (affectionate)

act 24: two halves of a whole idiot

act 25: Jake is a furry

act 26: baby I'm not even here

act 27: I got detention again

act 28: @ God why me

act 29: Beomgyu aka the resident idiot

act 30: EXCUSE ME YOU INBRED EMBRYO?

act 31: ight imma head out

act 32: F’s in the chat for Jake

act 33: fan behavior

act 34: there goes our best (?) soldier

act 35: 😔👉🏼👈🏼

act 36: tragic back story: unlocked ✨

act 37: are you stupid or are you stupid?

act 38: ugh mondays

act 39: the aftermath

act 40: good mourning

act 41: fucking finally

act 42 (closing act): OUR boyfriend

♯ chasing that feeling

synopsis beomgyu likes you, he like likes you; and everyone knows except you. but how can he attempt to convey his feelings when you hate romance?

pairing choi beomgyu x fem!reader

genre crack, slice of life, fluff, mall employee!au

warnings this smau is based off a few of my previous smaus, the usual warnings for smaus such as threats of violence and mentions of bodily fluids and the usual swearing, i'm not funny, further warnings will be added to each chapter

➸ notes i've had this smau idea on my mind for weeks so i'm attempting my hand at it 🫡 if you've read my previous smaus, this is a mashup of lisgo, lfil!, and cool it! bc i am the least original person and cannot come up with any good ideas

the park family shopping center is tucked away in the suburb of richland, washington. somewhere in the mall is a grand food hall, three stalls of which are staffed by the stupidest people on earth.

introductions : ghosting fried chicken / poppin star boba / little caesars

schedule : every weekday at 10am mst

chapters :

teaser romance is Not real

one chat should i try to homewreck this couple

two YOU PULLED 16 GIRLS?

three you should have named the gc mission impossible

four I WORK MINIMUM WAGE AT LITTLE CAESARS

five i would never call your family pigs

six i've been banned from taco bell (532)

seven sunoo the taco bell employee

eight i'm gonna kill J*ke

nine i have cheese in my underwear

ten THAT'S AI GENERATED

eleven FETTY WAP ON TOP

twelve they call me uncle tryhard (1590)

thirteen it's your attraction to gru

fourteen my toes are tingling

fifteen pride month is over

sixteen YUNA. the lesbian

seventeen DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND EVEN HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU

eighteen this is not a date this is not a date this is not a date (724)

nineteen my toes are tingling. part two the remix

twenty heeseung the fifth wheel (738)

twenty one applebee's is a perfectly normal place to fifth wheel

twenty two is your boyfriend even aware the two of you are dating

twenty three i just dropped $400 at a garage sale

twenty four maybe romance isn't so bad afterall (1120)

twenty five don't care didn't ask you're ugly your mom's a hoe your fly is down

finale i just had to cuss out y/n and beomgyu

taglist : @lun4kazumii @20-cms @woncheecks @noraimp @binluvsu @babymochibeargyu @xoxobela @h00nerz @bgomtori @https-yeonjun @sthwaaberry @huexuri @giaalorine @calx-bdo @bamtorinrecs @katsukis1wife @stormy1408 @donghyuckster @thing89 @luv4dino

taglist is closed.

ATEEZ Relationship Stages | Jeong Yunho

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader (you)

Synopsis: When you first meet, First kiss, First date, First kiss, First 'I love you.', Getting engaged, Wedding, Children.

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1,793

ATEEZ Masterlist | Tag List Sign-Up | Requesting Guidelines

Hongjoong | Seonghwa | Yunho | Yeosang | San | Mingi | Wooyoung | Jongho

WHEN YOU FIRST MET:

As you leave the park, your 12-week-old puppy, Da-Som, decided she has other plans. She manages to get herself out of your grasp and makes a beeline towards the idol group that’s taking a break from filming in the park. Thanks to your little sister, you figured out why they looked familiar and made a mental note to tell her about it. Not that she would believe you and would accuse you of making fun of her. 

“Da-Som!” you call after her as you chase after her, cheeks red with embarrassment. 

One of the taller men, heard you shouting for the puppy and crouched down as the puppy ran straight to him. The puppy excitedly shakes her tale as the tall man gives her pets and scratches. 

“I am so sorry!” you quickly apologise as you reach them, cheeks still red and slightly out of breath. “I don’t know how she managed to get herself off her leash.” 

“It’s okay,” the man assures her as he picks up the puppy, with a smile. “she’s cute.” 

“She is when she’s not being a menace,” you say with a laugh. You thank him as he hands the puppy back to you.  

“What’s her name?” he asks scratching Da-Som's head. 

“Da-Som,” you reply. You’d gone through many names for the puppy before deciding on the one that means love because that’s what you felt when you first laid eyes on her. You’d fallen head over heels for the young puppy. 

“Love,” He smiles. “And her eomma’s name?” he asks causing your cheeks to redden for a a whole new reason now. 

“Y/N,” you shyly tell him. “Any yours?” you ask. Just because you know who the group is, doesn’t mean you knew who they were individually 

He smiles, “Yunho.” 

FIRST DATE:

Three months after you first met, you had your first date.  

After meeting in the park, it had taken Yunho, with Wooyoung and Seonghwa's help, a week to find you. He'd scoured all the social media platforms to find that you had an Instagram that looked like you didn't post often on. If it was for the photo of you and your new puppy that you posted when she was 6 weeks old, he wouldn't have known it was you. Taking a chance, he DMed you. Doubt crept in when you hadn't replied in three days. But that doubt was soon replaced with excitement when you replied to him on the fourth day. They quickly swapped numbers once he convinced you that he was really who he said he was. From that day on you didn't go a day without talking in some way.  

You first date wasn't anything extravagant. You'd both been busy with work. Him with his up-and-coming comeback and you with your own work so when you had a free weekend, you asked if he was free and would like to go with you and Da-Som to the park. Fortunately, he was free that weekend and agreed to meet you there at 10am. 

By the time you'd gotten to the park on that Saturday morning, he was already there waiting for you with a small bouquet of flowers and two bags filled with food for him and you and treats and toys for Da-Som. He greeted you with a hug. 

For the next few hours, you played with Da-Som, ate food and talked, getting to know each other even more as you talked about stuff that was better said in person.  

As you go to part ways, Yunho asked if you would class this time together as a first date. He also expressed how much he enjoyed spending time with you and how he felt a strong connection between the two of you. You feel the same way and realize that this could be the start of something special. You agreed that it was your first date, and it was the best first date you’ve ever been on. 

FIRST KISS:

Your first kiss happened on his birthday. Five weeks ago, after a handful of dates, he asked you to be his partner. Both of you had been so nervous about it. You'd been questioning if he was ever going to kiss you. He was questioning how and when to do it. He was also worried he would somehow screw it up, causing you to bump heads or fumble it some other way. He wanted your first kiss to be perfect. 

When your first kiss finally happened, it was beyond perfect. You'd been walking along the river, after having dinner with his family and the rest of the guys. Yunho wanted to spend a sometime with you, just the two of you. He'd been the one to suggest a walk along the river. 

After fifteen minutes of walking and talking about anything and everything, you stopped at a little seating area but didn't sit down. You stood side by side with no space between you. 

"Thank you for coming to my birthday celebration," he smiles, looking down at you. 

You look at him, returning his smile. "Thank you for inviting me. I wouldn't have missed it."  

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. It's something you've gotten use to since you started dating. 

"You missed," you tell him. 

He continues to smile as he presses a kiss to your cheek. 

"Missed again," you say hoping he would get the hint that you want him to kiss you somewhere else. 

His chuckle carries a hint of nervousness as he gazes into your eyes and then glances at your lips. After a moment of hesitation, he leans in closer.  

Finally, his lips gently touch yours in a soft kiss.  

In that moment, it feels like time stands still, and any apprehension you both had melts away. It surpasses all your expectations and leaves you wanting more.  

As you part, both of you wearing matching smiles, you can't help but acknowledge that this first kiss was beyond perfect. 

FIRST 'I LOVE YOU':

Yunho had been the first to say 'I love you'. 

He surprised himself and you when he had said it after you and him had won a game of the video game you were playing with him, Jongho and Wooyoung. It wasn't exactly how he had envisioned expressing his feelings for you.  

He had grand plans for a romantic gesture and had even started preparing for. Mingi lent a helping hand by showing him how to cook your favourite meal. He had told the guys not to make any plans with him over the weekend and had a special necklace with both of your initials hidden in his dresser drawer. 

However, when those words slipped so casually after the win, a mix of shock and disappointment filled him. It seemed like such an ordinary way to say 'I love you', considering the effort he had put into planning something that would be meaningful. 

The disappointment soon disappeared when you kissed him and told him you love him too. The smile large smile he wore after you said it back, couldn't be wiped from his face, even when you lost the next three games. 

GETTING ENGAGED:

Yunho decided to make his proposal extra special by involving Da-Som, the reason the two of you met.  

As you enjoy a lovely day at the park, having a picnic, Yunho plays a game of fetch with Da-Som. Suddenly, your two-year-old golden retriever daughter excitedly bounds towards you. While petting her, you're surprised to find a beautifully intricately designed ring attached to her collar. You let out a gasp as you untie the ring and hold it in your hand. In that magical moment, Yunho kneels down in front of you, and takes the ring from your fingers. 

"Will you marry me?" Yunho's voice is filled with love and anticipation as he looks into your eyes, his heart racing with nervous excitement.  

 Tears of joy well up in your eyes as you become overwhelmed with emotion. You nod your head vigorously, unable to speak the word yes.

Yunho's face breaks into a wide grin as he slips the ring onto your finger, sealing your love and commitment to each other. The park around you seems to fade away as he pulls you in for a kiss and hugs you tight.

Da-Som, not wanting to be left out, wiggles her way in between the two of you to join in the celebration. 

WEDDING:

Your and Yunho’s wedding followed more of a modern Korean wedding. You were dressed in a beautiful ivory dress that had been crafted by your seamstress mother. Yunho wore a black suit with a blue tie that matched the blue roses in your rose and baby's breath bouquet. The venue was decorated with traditional Korean decorations, adding a touch of cultural flair to the modern setting.  

The ceremony was conducted with some traditional Korean wedding customs incorporated throughout. Guests were treated to delicious Korean food catered by yours and Yunho's favourite restaurant. The wedding cake was a stunning creation, adorned with intricate designs and topped with a pair of lovebirds. 

 As the night went on, guests enjoyed all kinds of music catered to all age groups. Photos were taken and Yunho and the rest of ATEEZ even preformed a song or two. 

 Overall, your wedding with Yunho was a beautiful blend of modern elegance and traditional Korean customs, creating a truly unforgettable celebration of love. 

Your honeymoon was just as beautiful as your wedding.

CHILDREN:

Your first son came two years after you got married. You and Yunho had made the decision to wait a couple years before having your first child. You’d had a couple pregnancy scares in between your wedding and when you got pregnant with Ye-Jun. He was born early hours of a Saturday morning, with no complications. He weighed a little over 7lbs. He came a week before his due date.  

Yunho is an amazing father and took his role very seriously. He dotted on his little boy every hour of every day, even when he wasn’t physically with him. Every time he went away, he came back with more than one bag filled with gifts and promises that one day he would take Ye-Jun to all the places in the world he’s been too.  

When your little girl arrived 18 months later, Yunho’s protective mode, went even higher. He dotted on her just as much as he did with Ye-Jun. He made all the same promises to Hyun-Ae that he did Ye-Jun. As she got older, Yunho made sure she knew her worth and what she deserves.  

Da-Som also loved her younger siblings and protected them until her death 10 years after Ye-Jun was born. 

Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated. 

©️ 2024 WOOJOONGSTREASURE. NO ONE HAS PERMISSION TO COPY, TRANSLATE AND/OR REPOST MY WORKS ON HERE OR ANY OTHER SITE.

TAGGED: @staytiny2000 - @dancelikebutterflywings - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry - @rainydayteacups - @green-agent - @tinyelfperson – @hollxe1 – @deltamoon666 - @skz1-4-3

If the world was ending

Felix x reader. Estranged childhood best friends to lovers. Angst and happy ending. highly recommend listening to If the world was ending while reading :)

Felix has always been there with you, from the moment you've met him when you were 8 years old, until he suddenly no longer was, and you were left to grapple with the consequences of his absence- and those of his return.

cw: description of a car accident, reader has a fear of loud noises.

skz song series masterlist

12 march 2011 

Screeching brakes, a jarring collision, glass shattering all around you, shards of it embedding into your tender skin. You are too young to understand it all, but you know it's bad. You are suddenly upside down, the only thing helping you stay put is the seatbelt fastened around you. You didn't really like seatbelts but your mom always insisted on you wearing one.

Your mom, you can't see her face, she's upside down too, and she isn't talking. That's unusual because you're crying and she isn't turning around to comfort you. Someone is screaming outside of your car, and then you are pulled out. You don't know who's touching you, and you want them to stop. Where is your mom? Why did they not pull her out too?

An ambulance approaches you; its loud sirens feel like pine needles drilling into your skull. You try to cover your ears but your hands are covered in blood. The world around you is painted red- the flashing lights of the sirens and the liquid oozing from your cuts. It’s no longer your favorite color.

27 may 2011 

You are playing in the playground near your home, waving at your mom from the top of the slide. She's gotten better, she smiles more easily at you now. And you are trying to be a good kid too; you help wash the dishes and you clean your room all by yourself. You don't want your mom to feel sad again and go back to that dreaded hospital. 

You slide out, happy giggles leaving your mouth, before climbing up the tiny stairs once again. But as you reach the top, an ambulance rushes by the playground. You don't know what's happening, but you suddenly feel shards of glass on your skin once again. Your hands are shaking as you sit on the floor, curling around yourself in a ball.  

"What's wrong?" someone asks and you lift your head tentatively. It's a young boy, he's looking at you worriedly, a tiny pout on his lips. 

"I don't like ambulances," you hiccup, burying your head in your knees again. 

Suddenly, small hands cover your ears, muffling the shrill sound of sirens. They are warm and sticky from the red popsicle he’s still holding.

"Now you can't hear them," he giggles, his eyes disappearing into moon crescents. Despite your raging fear, a smile finds its way into your lips.

"What's those on your face," you ask with a small voice, pointing at the faint marks dusting his cheeks. 

"They're called freckles," he says proudly and you nod. 

"They're pretty."

"Thank you!" he grins at you, his hands still covering your ears. The tightness in your chest seems to dissipate slowly before his kind smile- the shadows never stood a chance in front of the sun. 

"What's your name?" 

"Felix. And you?"

"Yn." 

"We should be friends," he beams and you grin back, agreeing wholeheartedly. "We should." 

15 november 2021 

You are sitting on the grass of that very same playground, Felix still by your side. The night breeze is cooling as it brushes against your bodies, and you're wearing his red sweater. It smells like his cologne and your perfume- an intoxicating scent you've come to memorize by heart. 

His nose tip is rosy from the cold, and you can't resist tapping it playfully. "Your nose is pink," you giggle, and he smiles, gently bopping yours in return. 

"So is yours."

You look at him as he gazes up at the stars above. You love Felix, it has always been crystal clear to you. From the moment he planted the seed of his friendship into your soul, and throughout the years when it bloomed into something more, bigger than the two of you. It wrapped around your being entirely, binding itself into your every atom, until all you saw is his reflection in you. 

And you were tired of treading the line between friendship and something more. You wanted, no craved being with him, your yearning so intense it spilled from you each time he was around. In rosy cheeks and shaky fingers and eyes that soften only when they rest on him- evidence of your love imprinted all upon you. 

You take in a deep breath, before laying your hand gently on his cheek, turning his face to meet yours. His eyes widen slightly at the soft touch, and you lean in closer to him. You brush your nose against his, slowly, "to warm it up," you whisper, as his breath hitches in his throat. 

He's close, he's so close, you can almost taste the brownies you shared earlier on his lips. You can see his freckles ever so clearly, constellations you often find yourself getting lost in. Your hand is still on his cheek, and you can feel it burning up under your palm. 

You close your eyes, as his lips are now just a breath away from yours. It's electrifying- having him so near to the way you've always dreamed, fantasized about. But he needs to be the one to take the jump, all he has to do is lean in a bit, and you'd kiss him. You won't ever let go. 

"Lixie...," you choke out, "kiss me." 

"I want to." His voice is hoarse with emotion, as if fighting with himself for self-restraint. 

"So do it," you ask, swiping your thumb gently across his cheek. Your breaths mingle with one another in a dizzying dance. 

"I'm leaving," he says so faintly, you believe for a second that you've imagined it. 

"What?" you ask, leaning a bit away to be able to look at him. 

"I'm leaving," he repeats, his eyes tightly shut. "We're moving to another country, for my dad's job." 

"You're leaving me?" you ask, bewildered. 

"I'm not leaving you-"

"But you are. You won't be here anymore." You drop your hand, taking hurried steps away from him. Touching him didn't feel electrifying anymore, it felt horrible and nauseous, because you won't get to do it again. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to-" 

"How long have you known?" 

"Yn..."

"Felix," you say, tone stern. "How long?" 

"Six months," he whispers and a bitter chuckle escapes your lips.

"When are you leaving?"

"In a week." 

The pain becomes unbearable, and you turn your back to him so he wouldn't see your rapidly falling tears. You are angry, as a disguise for the sadness threatening to drown you. Him leaving tasted like the salty water you gulp when you dive in too quickly into the ocean. And you did dive in, in him, in his soul and everything that made up Felix. And now he was leaving you, with no anchor to help you float again.

"Is that why you insisted on spending so much time with me lately? Because you were leaving?" 

"You need to understand I didn't know how to tell you, I- I don't even know who I am without you." He pleads, his own eyes shimmering with unshed tears, reminding you of tiny diamonds. That's how it is with Felix, you found beauty in everything he did- even tearing your heart in half. 

"Maybe you should've thought of how I would feel. You were thinking of leaving me while I..." Your voice breaks and you take a shaky breath.  "While I was falling in love with you." 

"I'm in love with you too," he quickly says, reaching out to hold your hand. "I love you, I always have." He's wrapping his arms around you, and you're letting him because it feels safe and secure. Because he’s still your Felix, even if he's leaving you behind. 

You wonder what you must have done in a past life, what a horrible person you could've been for the universe to treat you this cruelly. To hand you everything you've ever wanted in a silver platter, and snatch it from your hands before you could dare to grab it. 

"We'll make it work," he mumbles into your hair, placing a tender kiss on your temple. "We'll talk and we can be together."

"No, we can't. I'll just hold you back from living your new life, I can't have that." 

"Don't talk like that, please," his voice wavers, words barely managing to slip out of his mouth. Regret overtakes your body so suddenly at the thought of his lips- you shouldn't have tried to kiss him. Maybe then he wouldn't have told you he was leaving. 

"It's the truth. we'll grow to hate each other, distance will put a strain on us. I'd rather not talk to you than have you resent me." 

"But-"

"Just hold me," you cut him off. "As if nothing's happening, please." 

And he complies because Felix always does. Because he loves you and as much as he doesn't want to, he knows you're right. 

•••••

It's been three months since Felix left- the days passed by agonizingly slowly, and yet the months went by in a blur, a hauntingly vivid reminder of what once was. At first, the texts between you two were frequent, but as time wore on, the messages grew sporadic, from your end, mostly. Seeing him flourish in his new life felt like salt on an open wound, a reminder that he was moving on while you were still anchored in memories of him. 

You saw him in every corner of your city. The smell of brownies that he's made countless times, each time you felt sad. The way he kissed your cheek each time he won a game, while you were lying on his bed, bored. The way he hugged you whenever you were sick, gently tucking strands of your hair behind your ear. The way he covered your ears instinctively at each loud noise, knowing how scared it made you still. 

And you've felt each of these emotions since he was gone. You were sad and bored and sick and happy and scared. And he wasn't here with you through them. Each moment away from Felix seemed to magnify what could have been- what should have been between the two of you.

There is a building construction next to you, loud cement blocks crashing to the ground. And you are curled around yourself in a protective ball, covering your ears with your hands, because Felix isn't here to do it anymore for you. 

You and Felix have grown with one another, your soul carefully woven into his, like two threads intricately stitched into the same tapestry. Him leaving felt like half of your body was cut off from you, and you were left alone to figure out how to function with an incomplete heart. 

17 july 2023 

Summer break meant coming back home and sleeping in your childhood bedroom once again. Memories of Felix still lingered in there- posters he has given you and his red sweater that you've never found the courage to throw away. It doesn't hurt as much to remember him, the sharp pain morphed into a dull ache you've grown accustomed to by now. 

You're watching the TV mindlessly when someone knocks on your door, and you go to open it without a second thought, expecting it to be your parents. It wasn't.

"Felix?" you stammer, stumbling back in shock. You blink repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to make sure he's not a figment of your twisted imagination. You haven't uttered his name in so long, and the syllables felt both foreign and familiar in your mouth. 

"It's me," he smiles sheepishly, his hand scratching the back of his neck. 

"You are here," you whisper, stating the obvious. He didn't change much, his kind brown eyes and freckles still as captivating as before. But his features were sharper, prettier, and the sight of him is making you dizzy once again. 

"I am." 

"What are you doing here?" You ask cautiously, opening the door a bit wider to let him in. 

"I requested a transfer to your university. I wanted to come back. I missed home, and I missed you," he adds softly, making a turmoil of emotions surge within you. 

You clear your throat. "So, you are back for good?" 

"I am," he says, smiling slightly at you as if to gauge your reaction. You stay silent and his grin falters; his tongue resting against the inside of his cheek, a habit he hasn't let go of apparently. He then walks to the kitchen and you follow suit. You don't have to show him around, he knows your home like the back of his hand. He spent most of his childhood here after all, even though his house was only a few blocks away. 

"How have you been?" he asks as he opens the cupboard to take out a glass. He closes its door softly, careful not to make it thud. 

"I'm good. It's summer break so I'm finally back home, what about you?"

"I'm good too. It's nice to be back." 

Your conversation is strained and awkward, so unnatural of you both. There was so much to say, so much to ask about, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak. He felt like uncharted territory to you now, one you didn't have the strength to discover once again.

"It's your mom's birthday tomorrow, right?" he smiles and you nod. 

"Should we make her our cookies? Like we used to before I..." 

"Before you left," you finish, bitterness dripping from your tone.

Hurt flashes in his eyes and you feel your heart suddenly clench in your chest. It was unfair for you to treat him this way. He was only seventeen and if your parents were to move away you would've followed them too. 

"Okay, let's do it." You smile sincerely for the first time since he came back to you. 

You both move seamlessly in the kitchen, each knowing your tasks like a choreographed dance. This was a tradition that started when you were twelve years old. You'd brown the butter while he beat the egg and sugar together. He'd sift the flour while you cut up chocolate. He'd mix it all while you preheat the oven. And then you'd roll the dough together. 

Your hands brush against one another as you shape up the cookies, and it feels so intense you almost drop to the floor. You miss him, you miss him so much and he's near you and you can't seem to think straight anymore. 

When the cookies are finally in the oven, he silently washes the dishes while you dry them. He abruptly pauses, hands still covered in soap before turning back to you. 

"Can we talk? Please?" he says too quickly as if he's been overthinking asking this question. 

"I'm busy today," you scramble to think of an excuse, you weren't ready to face him yet. 

"Tomorrow?"

"I'm staying with my mom, then there is Han’s party."

"I'll be there too. We can talk then, please?" he asks, eagerness evident in his voice. 

"Fine. Let's talk there," you concede and he nods, awkwardly shifting in his place. He finishes the dishes before drying his hands. You avoid his gaze and he sighs softly. "I'll get going. Tell your mom happy birthday from me." 

"Will do." You smile tightly and he does the same, before finally leaving your home, and in his trail, a maelstrom of emotions you weren't certain how to deal with.

18 july 2023 

You're at the reunion party Han is hosting with all your high school friends. You watch as Felix takes turns talking to everybody. He fits right in here, a puzzle perfectly clicking in place as if he's never left. He's telling a joke to Chan who laughs loudly, hitting Minho's arm repeatedly. Everyone is happy he's back, because they never had to gravel with the consequences of his absence. Because he's never ripped their heart out. 

Felix is looking for you around the room- he hasn't seen you in a while. He assumes you're somewhere around the house, and that you'd like to talk when time has passed. The knot in his stomach tightens as the weight of your conversation dawns on him, he longs to be with you, to undo the past two years he has spent away from you. But he's afraid to mess everything up, once again, so he stays near his friends who are now pulling him outside of the house.

"We have a surprise for you," Han says excitedly before pointing at the sky, "look." 

Fireworks, a dazzling show of blue, red and yellow. And Felix feels as if the colors were drained out of his face and splattered into the night sky before him.

"Where is yn?" he turns to Chan, eyes wide.

"Inside, I think. Why?"

"Stop- stop this, don't start any more fireworks," he urges the boy who's looking at him worriedly. 

"Why, what's wrong? We have a warrant to start them, don't worry."

"No, no you don't understand. Yn hates loud noises," he explains frantically, before bolting inside the house. 

He's yelling your name, and you are nowhere to be found, the sound of the fireworks so loud he isn't even sure you can hear him. 

He opens door after door, and after painstakingly long seconds he finally finds you in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, your head buried in your knees. Just like you were twelve years ago. 

Felix doesn't waste any time, kneeling in front of you to cover your ears with his hands, you look up at him, waterline brimming with unshed tears. 

"It's okay, I'm here. Just focus on my voice," he smiles reassuringly at you, and you clasp your hands on top of his, doing your best to muffle the sound of the explosions. 

"Your hands are still small," you attempt to joke, as hot tears trail down your cheeks. You hated how scared you still were. 

"The perfect size to cover your ears," he smiles at you, his eyes softening when they take in your distressed state. 

You hiccup, overcome by a new wave of emotion- for an entirely different reason this time. "You came." 

"I'll always come. Even if the world was ending, I'll... I'll come to you," he smiles, biting his lower lip to stop his own tears from falling. 

"It'd be useless if you came then. There would be nothing for us to do," you manage to say through shaky breaths. 

"But I'd be with you," he insists, gaze unwavering, "It will be scary for you. I imagine it will be loud, the world can't end silently." 

"Mine did, when you left." Felix's eyes go wide at your words, and you don't care that you are baring your soul entirely to him. "Please don't leave me again. I hate goodbyes with you." 

"Why would we ever say goodbye again, hm?" he reassures, his knuckles brushing against your cheek softly. "I'm never leaving you, as long as you'll have me, I'm here," he whispers, before pulling you into his chest.

Your hands find his back, and his cheek rests on top of your head. And you both close your eyes, an exhale of relief leaving you both at the same time. The world grows dark around the two of you, the only thing you saw was his heart and the overflowing love he still bore for you.

You felt as if you were wandering blind and you could finally see again, as if the string tying you to him wrapped tightly around the both of you, trapping you in his warm embrace.

You don't know what will happen next, but he's holding you now, and he'll hold you when the world is ending, and that is enough.