The Elf And The Gith, She Fears, Are Going To Be The Easy Ones To Sell On The Idea. Bloodthirsty Killers

The elf and the gith, she fears, are going to be the easy ones to sell on the idea. Bloodthirsty killers interested in violence and intrigued by the personal stakes involved—can’t say she’d feel too differently, if their positions were reversed.

It’s a shame she’s got to lie to keep them on the hook.

“Oh aye,” she agrees, despite knowing Jack Rackham is the poorest (in all senses of the word) excuse for a pirate on these waters, “whatever his take is, it’ll be took. I only want what’s owed t’me; the rest can be split amongst the hands that help.” She knows every nick and knot of the Ranger, every splinter of wood in the hull, every thread in the sail: whatever treasure is left aboard the Ranger, be it Astarion’s dreams of gold or a remembered stash of particularly lush wine, it’ll be rendered in return for getting the deed done. After all, to kill confront Jack, there’ll be most of a crew to carve through first, and of them only one worth wasting breath on trying to save. And that’s supposing Read didn’t split when those tentacled freaks took Anne.

“Dunno how much like shoppin ye’ll feel, arter I replace his eyeballs with knives and feed him his own cock.” …she hadn’t meant to say that last part aloud. Ah well. In for a penny, in for a pound….

@neverhangd liked this post for a starter!

"You know, I believe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship!" Astarion said with a smile. He hadn't been expecting to get to know her, even if his plans were mostly to stick beside her and the others, finding a way to survive while plotting revenge against Cazador. But after learning more about her, and seeing some similarities between them, he felt his statement was true. "I wouldn't mind helping you confront your ex. I always do love it when things get a little... bloody! Can we steal his gold too? We could go shopping afterwards with it. It's the best way to celebrate a victory."

I owe about 11 responses (4 kiss asks, 4 tarot starters, 3 assorted replies). Thanks guys!!!

E2A: These are being queued btw

Stolen from the dash

⚔ the princess bride sentence starters ⚔

“  you  mock  my  pain!  ”  “  life  is  pain.  ” “  he’s  only  mostly  dead.  ” “  i’m on  the  brute  squad.  ” “  you  are  the  brute  squad.  ” “  prepare  to  die.  ” “  we’ll  never  survive.  ” “  nonsense.  you’re  only  saying  that  because  no  one  ever  has.  ” “  who  are  you?  ” “  get  used  to  disappointment.  ” “  you  keep  using  that  word.  i  do  not  think  it  means  what  you  think  it  means.  ” “  i’ll  use  small  words  so  that  you’ll  be  sure  to  understand,  you  warthog  faced  buffoon.  ” “  that  may  be  the  first  time  in  my  life  a  man  dared  insult  me.  ” “  drop.  your.  sword.  ” “  shut  up!!  ”   “  you’ve  made  your  decision  then?  ” “  i  bet  my  life  on  it!  ” “  truly,  you  have  dizzying  intellect.  ” “  you’re  just  stalling  now.  ” “  you  guessed  wrong.  ” “  enough  of  that.  ”  “  surrender.  ” “  you  mean  you  wish  to  surrender  to  me?  very  well,  i  accept.  ” “  i  hate  waiting.  ” “  morons.  ” “  you  are  wonderful.  ” “  you  seem  a  decent  fellow,  i  hate  to  kill   you.  ” “  why  are  you  smiling?  ” “  because  i  know  something  you  don’t  know.  ” “  goodnight.  good  work.  i’ll  most  likely  kill  you  in  the  morning.  ” “  oh,  there’s  something  i  ought  to  tell  you.  ” “  think  it’ll  work?  ” “  it  would  take  miracle.  ” “  hear  this  now —  i  will  always  come  for  you.  ” “  this  is  true  love,  you  think  this  happens  every  day?  ” “  death  cannot  stop  true  love.  ” “  i  died  that  day.  ” “  we  may  as  well  die  here.  ” “  he’s  dead.  he  can’t  talk.  ”   “  as  you  wish.  ”   “  why  didn’t  you  wait  for  me?  ”   “  you  can  die  slowly,  cut  into  a  thousand  pieces.  ” “  you  killed  my  love.  ” “  it’s  possible. i  kill  a  lot  of  people.  ”   “  yes,  you’re  very  smart.  shut  up.  ”   “  you’ve  been  mostly-dead  all  day.  ”  “  inconceivable!!  ”  “  let  me  explain.  ”   “  your vote of confidence is overwhelming.  ” “  what  hideous  sin  have  you  committed  lately?  ” “  will  you  ever  forgive  me?  ” “  there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours.  ”  

Nobody asked but I still feel like sharing. 😌

Anne is surprisingly sexually inexperienced, which is a fucking delight to write! Real change of pace for me. Now, don’t get it twisted—she’s not a virgin. She’s just had less sexual experience than one might expect out of a pirate, particularly one with her reputation. (Like much of the rest of this blog, that’s the whole damn point!)

TL;DR?: Anne has very little experience but she’s very good at oral.

cw for Anne’s abusive marriages below

it’s not detailed but it’s still not pretty and i’d rather not trigger anyone with my dumb thoughts lol

Most of Anne’s inexperience can actually be directly traced back to her first marriage. Friendly reminder that she was sixteen (in my canon) when she married James. She’d had one lover before him; it ended badly the same night it started. Then there was James, a relationship that slowly twisted and soured into a very similar shape with a remarkably similar ending. I won’t go into all the sordid details, but a year or so into their marriage, Anne learned something: James didn’t care if she got hers or not. That made two of two people she’d slept with that didn’t care, one of which was also horrifically abusive. She learned fast that if she got James off, he didn’t care what happened next. So Anne got very, very good at giving oral. It was the fastest way she learned to get James off and off her back.

To no one’s surprise but Anne’s, her next lover was similarly inattentive to her needs. Two’s coincidence, but three’s a pattern—Anne, at age nineteen, came to assume sex really was just a chore of the marital bed. (There’s a reason it was referred to as a “duty,” she assumed, and now’s when I remind you this was a common line of thought among women at the time.) She started to assume sex and everything that came with it was just more of nature being a bitch to women: they cramp and bleed once a month if they’re not pregnant, eventually the cramping stops and hot flashes set in, and sometimes they become unbearably horny with no satisfying way to take care of the issue. To the point where, while married to Jack, she began to assume arousal was like some kind of bodily signal that she needed to seek him out and so often did.

Now, this isn’t all to say that Anne’s never gotten off. Fear not! She just…hasn’t gotten off with a partner. A little while into her marriage to Jack, he started snubbing her advances. One night Anne was frustrated by it all and decided to make the arousal go away by mimicking intercourse. She just hoped it would be enough to loan her some peace, but in the process she ended up discovering a few things about herself. Like her clit. And that she can enjoy sexual contact past vicarious enjoyment through her partner, under the right circumstances. The next time she slept with Jack, when he was done and she…wasn’t, she finished herself off. That was one of the last times she slept with Jack.

for @infernalsocialite , it started as a parlor trick….

Anne fishes the little bundle out of her pack, clearing the table with an impatient swipe before she sets it down. The kerchief falls open at a touch, revealing the strange mismatched deck and the worn leather notebook embossed with a burning match. She glances up as she arranges her tools; she isn’t dumb enough to trust a devil, whatever promises might have been made to lead to this moment. It’s clear this isn’t entirely a game to her well before she starts shuffling.

As she shuffles, cards fall out—three of them, none matching. She put the deck away and arranges the cards: a ghost holding a leaf surrounded by nine sticks, a black candle on a white background, and a sign hanging under a skull. Though this card had text, none but TAVERN could be easily read upside down.

“Nine of Wands. A sort of a…growth card. Ye’re tired, but ye’ve fought t’carve out a space for yerself. In the past, ye’ve used this space t’regain yer energy, launch new plans. It’s a good card in a bad position: in the past.

“Then there’s the black candle. This one en’t standard,” Anne admitted. She opened the notebook and flipped through its contents, pausing to read the passage when she encountered it. “‘The candle implies ritual. Not necessarily magical ritual, though that is sometimes a factor. Recognize the rituals of yer life and think of their effect on ye.’ I’d hazard a guess it’s a non-magical ritual, ‘cause that next card is Death.

“Not literal death, mind—but change. An end to something that needed t’end. This deck’s stacked full of Death cards. Each one is a different death, and this one’s Mundane Death. The end of little day-t’-day things. Everything changes, everything ends. The journal calls it ‘beautiful.’ I call it ‘bittersweet.’ And that’s just in yer future.”