Imma Be Dead Honest. Idk If I'm In A System. Straight Up. Let Me Explain Why It's Hard To Tell.

Imma be dead honest. Idk if I'm in a system. Straight up. Let me explain why it's hard to tell.

Well when I was younger I had constant nightmares, specifically sleep paralysis, with a shadow man with a mask on... I was scared to sleep. So I tried to stop sleeping. By the 3 day, my 9 year old brain was paranoid and hallucinations of the man. I finally couldn't take it and started panicking....

Mind you I was at my dad's so he didn't notice. (drunken bitch)

But eventually I just gave out....

It started with the dreams, then drawings of the man, then writing..

And I'm not sure if my brains done something.

Or I made him up to cope.

Or if I'm just insane.... but he's here. In my head.

But he's there.

I call it DID(no idea if thats true), or more commonly a system....because I'm not sure what it is.. it's really a case by case situation. So no I don't know. But he's real.

You can't know. You can't tell I'm not ok. So judging based on cases and "facts" is....frankly stupid. We don't know enough about it to know what to look for. So yah I'm undiagnosed....because it's hard to tell.

But this is me. And I'm here to stay.

(Note I'm genuinely looking for a respectful conversation.) May I ask, why do you support Endo systems? The whole concept of being a system, (specifically talking about DID/OSDD) is it's a trauma response. And Endos, most of them are systems that don't remember their trauma, yes. But also, a lot of them have another disorder, and refuse to look into that, and claim to be a system.

I support endogenic systems because mental conditions are never that simple, there is never one sole cause for anything in the human mind. The human brain is a very strange and unpredictable thing, so I believe that to assert that “natural plurality is impossible” is unrealistic. There has actually been documentation of naturally occurring plurality for a good while now, but systems as a whole are incredibly under-researched so of course not much has gotten out.

The human brain can do a lot of weird and crazy things and diverge in strange ways, so I believe that splitting and forming headmates on its own is in no way outside of the realm of possibility. There is no benefit to excluding or devaluing endo systems either, it’s literally just fake-claiming with extra steps. And, istg, how do you know they have a different disorder? How do you know they haven’t done research into that? How do YOU know better than someone else about their OWN BRAIN? It’s just so ridiculously entitled to assert such. And to claim that we know something as definitive as what can and cannot cause a very specific and under-researched type of condition is one of the most blatant displays of human hubris I’ve ever seen. Most endo systems do tons of research, it’s just like self-diagnosed individuals, most of them go through a lot of research and reflection and self-discovery to come to their own conclusions.

I don’t believe being a system is a choice, never in a million years would I claim that, and there are definitely fakers out there going under the guise of being endogenic, and I definitely believe that spaces for traumagenic systems specifically are important, but none of that means that endo systems don’t exist. Anti-endo rhetoric is largely reactionary and cruel, and like fake-claiming, does way more harm for the disabled / disordered / neurodivergent community than good.

If you say you’re a system, I believe you. I support you. And I’m here for you. Trying to deny and invalidate other’s experiences just because they don’t match your own or the status quo isn’t right.

Through fire comes hurt and pain....but when it subsides....and give time....the ash nurtures plants....moss grows...trees sprout....its beautiful.

Sometimes fire makes history, or dots the period.

Burnt bridges make beautiful rivers.

..

Such a stupid little spitfire, the little thing cares just way too much. But in that you cause a mess. So confused at why everyone is so keen to argue when sometimes things are kinda simple, and that confusion drives you up a wall.

a warm flame can soon become one that burns all to the ground, be wary what you do, oh little dragon…

I know you’re doing your best and you don’t know if giving up your fire is right, but sometimes you just need to acquiesce…

I know it hurts to douse your flame, but it’s better than scarring everyone with your breath…

Sure i love a challenge.

Reblog if you want your followers to anonymously ask you one thing they want to know about you.

But like I wanna date people normally too.

I wanna date someone like platonically.

Boy I'm weird.

Or voice acting post that ARE NOT venting or srs post on a friends blog.

Simple joy as you make "OMMMGGG" sound like Xgaster.

bonding is voice acting crack fanfics together

Nothin', drunk, asleep

Wtf-

Sounds like something that would happen...one year maybe in my future