Ghost: I Might Be A Nonbeliever, But I Know A Goddess When I See One

Ghost: I might be a nonbeliever, but I know a goddess when I see one

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(WIP Cause I needed to get it out my system before I went back in to work)

Thinking of getting to a point of tweaking Doe’s bio

I have no words…

Rest easy, James Earl Jones

And May the Force Be With You

UPDATE

These ruffles are gonna be the death of me

Ghost: I might be a nonbeliever, but I know a goddess when I see one

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(WIP Cause I needed to get it out my system before I went back in to work)

MYYYYYYY wanda!!!!!!!!!

Doe and Her Health (TW: Talk of Weight, EDs, Masking, Mental Health Problems)

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Physical Health

Doe overall maintains a relatively good health. However, she does have past health problems and current health conditions that do affect her mentally just as much as it does physically. For one, Doe devloped a higher metabolism rate, which makes it hard for her to gain weight, much less maintain a healthy weight range. Not to mention when her father further pushed her for her training, he made snide remarks about her body and weight (mind you she was a child still during this time), and given she grew up during the 90s-2000s, the whole push to be “skinny” was insanely high and detrimental for a child/teenage girl like her.

She would eat less food for a long period of time, until it became she ate nothing.

Doe would repeatedly collapse during training, even keel over from starvation to the point of tears. A part of her knew what she was doing was wrong, but the other part of her wanted her father to be proud of her no matter how many times he raised the bar for her. It had gotten so bad that Doe, before her father was finally arrested, weighed nearly 98 pounds at 5’10”. She even had to be forced medication and therapy in order to regain control of her weight and health. Initially, Doe was refusing the medication due to the trauma by her father and the people training her, but the therapy during her secondary school days eventually got her to take it and regain weight to a relatively healthy weight, albeit still somewhat underweight (but not dangerously so).

Now, at 32, she weighs a good 125 lbs, and is doing a lot better with her weight maintenance and taking her medications.

However, she does sometimes forget to eat and gets too close to relapsing with her ED. Thankfully, Ghost is there to notice this and when he calculated the calories from her day, he makes her a huge breakfast or dinner and even tells her he would lace her food with her medicine just so that she knows he cares so much about her, even goes as far as eating with her.

Mental Health

Now it’s pretty obvious that Doe has been through a lot throughout her life, and yes, therapy does work for her. Though that doesn’t exactly mean she isn’t safe from triggers of all kinds, whether that be PTSD or ADHD.

Doe for the longest time had been under serious scrutiny from her father, causing her to struggle horribly with stress, anxiety, and even depression, though she was never allowed to show weakness around him. She had to see things no child should even have to see, and that alone caused unnecessary distress on the girl to the point she eventually became desensitized by violence and horrors.

Doe habitually bottles up her problems and internal emotions, forcing herself to mask in order to fit in and keep up appearances. But she so longs to be open about herself and her emotions, she doesn’t want to deter people away from her.

ADHD makes things even harder on her as she even tends to be hard on herself when things go wrong in a mission, causing her to silently have a panic attack the moment she can get alone time. If or when someone walks in on her having one of her episodes, she quickly pulls herself together and tells them she’s fine (she isn’t).

After her father’s attempt on her life, his own, and her siblings, her uncle took the triplets in and he had them undergo some serious therapy sessions as teenagers, especially Doe. He felt awful that he couldn’t be there for his niblings, but it also would have gotten him killed if he ever got near the compound where they were living against their will.

Now an adult well into her 30s, Doe strives to live a better life even if she does have a more “childish” take on it. Sometimes she can be quite loud and cheery, boisterous and playful, but remember, that’s the side she never got to express growing up.

But even that side, added on to masking, can wear her down all over. She might not realize in the moment she has gone too far with her emotions and expressiveness, but when called out on it, she’ll start off as defensive, but soon enough, she’ll apologize; even if it makes her feel like shit she did that without knowing it.