Hes Such A Cutie Pookie

he‘s such a cutie pookie

charlie vickers training to be a smith

oh well, the tea is getting hooot

And Comes Dawn pt iii

Pairing: Sauron/Halbrand x Reader, more ships/love triangles to come, though, so stay tuned.

Summary: the deciver has decided he must get rid of you until a stranger reignites his curiosity in an unexpected way.

Word count: 2k

Notes: let me know if you wanna be tagged. I was not expecting this many people to like this fic. Thank you so much for the feed back, I read every comment and reblog multiple times. Keep any and all feedback coming. I'm super invested in this series and have so many plans that I'm so excited to write.

Tags/warning: male masturbation, nothing super explicit but sauron has some pretty unhealthy kinks, slow burn, saurons post nut clarity is murder plotting, sauron being sauron. galadriel finally shows up, cliffhanger

“She does nothing but sit there, day in and day out. Our rations are wasted on her!” 

“All of us sit and do nothing because there is fucking nothing to do.”

Halbrand and the older man were fighting again. Halbrand had become annoyed that the other had declared himself the de facto leader of the raft, and his anger exploded when it was proclaimed you had not 'earned' your rations. He had obviously found it absolutely insane and when you made no sound or protest, he took it upon himself to make it known how insane it was. 

“I am the leader here. I have organized the rations, I have kept order, and I have directed where we go.” The other man seemed offended. He had proven himself to be rather arrogant, and you held no surprise that he would suggest such a thing or believe that he was the leader of the raft.

“Oh great Lord of the Raft. How difficult your job must be. Deciding if we die a little to the west or a little to the east.” Halbrand rolled his eyes as he spoke. 

“Be sarcastic all you want. She's lucky we don't throw her in.” 

The air stilled and a dark shadow passed over Halbrands face, his jaw clenched and in a moment he had grabbed the other by their shirt, “The moment you do that is the moment I feed you and every single person on this raft to the wyrm.” Their faces merely inches apart,  Halbrands voice was cold, full of hatred, and it sent a chill over everyone on the raft. The older man stared up at him with fear, a fear so palpable and intense that it was as if he was looking into the eyes of the great foe himself. 

“Halbrand,” you spoke softly, fingers gently wrapping around his wrist and moving him away. “This is not what I wish.”

He turned to look at you and his gaze softened,tongue peaking out to wet his lips. The air flowed again, and the darkness lifted, “You wish to starve? Because that's his wish, that's his plan. He wants to make our supply of food last longer by taking the very little portion you have. He knows you would never say anything to him, and you can not ask me to sit back and watch you starve, sweet one.” His eyes searched your face as he spoke with such earnest conviction. 

“I do not wish for you to murder in my name,” you replied in a passionate whisper. 

Halbrand nodded, sighing softly, “Then I will not,” he leaned closer to you, so his lips were next to your ear, and you could feel his hot breath on your skin. Your breath caught in your voice as he whispered softly, “Know that I would, though. If you only asked, I would burn this raft and everyone on it to keep you safe.” 

He pulled away and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your head as you stood speechless. The butterflies in your stomach exploded. This was new. Your interactions had been purely platonic until this point. He never presented himself as someone more than a friend, and you had been content with that. Yet you enjoyed the feeling of his lips on your forehead and greatly missed them when they were gone. 

The talk of murdering everyone else was one you didn't wish to dwell on. Perhaps it was hyperbolic. Perhaps said in anger. Either way, those were thoughts for another time. Now, you would embrace the shivers and butterflies. 

“Well, your highness, she will be eating today and I will ensure it,” Halbrand gave the man a pointed look and the other simply nodded, his eyes still swimming as if he'd seen some great horror but you were too fixated on the ghost of Halbrands kiss that lingered on your forehead to pay it much mind. 

~

He'd taken the deception too far when he placed that kiss upon your head. He regretted it the moment he did it. The taste of your skin stained his lips, and it was all he could think of. Your skin felt unbelievably soft and he could just imagine what your lips would taste like, your tongue, your cunt. 

Your cunt. The thought of it had been all consuming. Warm and wet. Soft and velvety. He ached to feel it, to taste it, to take it. The thoughts had led to his current position, standing at the edge of the raft with his cock in his fist. This act felt below him but the thoughts wouldn't leave his mind and he needed some relief from them. From the thoughts of you. 

Thoughts of your cunt. 

Warm and wet. Soft and velvet. 

His eyes fluttered, and his breath caught in his throat. He hated every second of this. He had no control. Ever since you looked up at him with those eyes of yours, eyes he wanted to make weep as you choked on his cock. He breathed a soft curse as he imagined your sweet, innocent eyes looking up at him with your lips wrapped around his cock. His thumb collected the precum from his tip and worked it around his shaft, the soft wet sounds filling the night. 

Would you be inexperienced?  Had someone claimed you before? You were his and his alone, his precious sweet one. The thought of someone else having you first filled him with such rage. He would drench his hands in their blood and paint your body with it as he fucked you. His hands around your neck, squeezing enough to feel your life thrumming underneath his fingers. 

You were his and his alone. No one else could touch you, no other lips taste you, no other cock take you. He'd burn all of Middle Earth to ensure it, torture any man who dared look at you. He'd carve his name into your flesh, lick the blood off your skin. A growl escaped his lips, the thought of his name scared into your soft skin. His hand tightened around his cock and his movements increased in speed. 

His breathing got more ragged as he got closer to his peak,  your name tumbling past his lips in a choked whisper. He could almost imagine you whining and whimpering his name, his real name.  That was what sent him over, the visual of you impaled on his cock and desperately calling his name. He groaned loudly, his seed shooting into the water. 

Breathing heavily, his eyes closed. Almost immediately, the cacophony of thoughts entered his mind. That had been a brief reprieve, but now his existential crisis continued. What was his purpose? Who was he now that his master was dead? Power and control, how could he have both without sacrificing the other?  

And then your smiling face flashed through his mind, the sound of your laugh...-

This couldn't continue. No amount of curiosity was worth this loss of control. He was a god, but his mind as of late had been reminiscent of a teenage boy. Thoughts may plague him, but he would forget you within the age. He needed you gone, dead. The longer you stayed alive, the longer these damn lustful thoughts would plague him and be his undoing. He was slowly losing his sanity because of you. 

The problem was he couldn't do it. He tried mere minutes before giving into these urges, but as he looked at your sleeping face, he couldn't bring himself to push you in and under the waves. In thousands of years, no one had been able to still his blade or stay his hand with such ease. He couldn't look at you and take your life. He could not be the one to do it, that thought alone proving to be more a reason for your death. Weakness was not something he would tolerate. 

His mind called out to wyrm, calling it to their location. If he couldn't do it, he'd give the task to something else. By nightfall tomorrow, you'd be gone. You'd be at the bottom of the sea or in the belly of the beast. By nightfall, he'd have his mind back. 

Why did the thought of your death fill him with such dread?

~

He wouldn't even look at you. You'd greeted him in the morning, and he ignored you. You sat next to him, and he moved to the other side of the raft. You watched as his eyes bore into planks of the raft. You wet your lips and pulled it between your teeth. He was your first friend in a very long time, and now you had lost him for reasons that escaped you.  You were utterly alone, lost at sea, and you struggled to find hope here. All you could do is close your eyes and remind yourself that falling into despair would do nothing more than make the situation worse and more hopeless.

You watched the clouds pass in the sky, counting them, and your fingers tapped away at the wood. Every few moments, you had to blink away the tears that had started welling in your eyes as you thought of losing another person you cared for. Suddenly, you sat up as you heard what you thought was a voice in the air. You squinted as your eyes examined the fog.

“There's a voice on the water.” You spoke quietly. 

Almost instantly, bickering broke amongst the others. To save her or not. You shook your head, “We're not leaving her to starve and die!” 

One of the others pulled her up and gave her water as you grabbed her a chunk of bread and looked for a piece of cloth or something that could bring the stranger some warmth. The bickering continued as you searched and returned with a piece of bread.

“Suppose you'll be sharing your rations?” the old man asked. 

You couldn't help the roll of your eyes, “Damn the rations,” you kneeled and handed the stranger the bread. “It's not much, but it's something. Are you hurt?” 

Before she could answer, one of the others asked, “What are you doing out here?”  

The stranger took the bread, “I was separated from my ship.” 

You looked at her with empathy. Of course, you could understand. She looked over at you as if to answer your question next, but she stopped, her eyes examining your face as if she knew you but was unable to place how. It made you uncomfortable, made your heart still. Has your past caught up with you all the way out here? 

“She doesn't look dangerous,” the other woman spoke.

“Looks can be deceiving,” Halbrand spoke, and you were about to protest when you saw the point to her ears. Your blood ran cold, and you moved back from her. 

“Remove your hand from me, sir,” the stranger spoke, her attention returning to you. “I know your face.”

You quickly stood up and stepped back. This could not be happening. Not here. Not now. Perhaps the elf could save you, or perhaps she would convince the others to throw you into the sea. The sins of your father would never stop chasing you, it seemed. 

~

“I know your face."

His head snapped your direction at this revelation. What did that mean? How would an elf know you? He watched your reaction, the fear and shame passing over your face confirming that there was a story there. He cursed silently.

All day, he avoided looking at you. All day, he had convinced himself that you were nothing more than a naive human, that the warmth he felt had to be in relation to this new form getting used to the world around him. There was nothing special about you. Nothing at all. He repeated it over and over, though he never really believed it. He could sense the darkness and calamity swimming through the ocean towards them, the beast he had called, and he had convinced himself that your death would solve his internal struggle. 

But now, this damn elf had reignited the curiosity with vigor. It felt as if an inferno burnt through him. He had to know more. He knew when the wyrm came, he would be unable to leave you to death. You were the most curious thing, and it was infuriating. 

Who were you? 

and the look in his eyes as he realize that she falls?? 😫😫

we don't talk enough about how sauron kept his hand reached out to her for so long after she fell like. closest thing we'll get to a hand flex imo

the way he calls her sweet one, i died 🫠 i like where this is going and can‘t wait for more

And Comes Dawn pt ii

pairing: halbrand/sauron x reader; there will be two love triangles in the future

Word Count: 2.3k

Part 1

Summary: In all beings, there exists darkness. when the deciver finds one who seems to defy this, he becomes obsessed with finding it within her. and if he can't find it, he will ruin her himself.

Tag: dark romance, slow burn, sauron is Stressed™️ , sauron is so horny he contemplates murder, minor sex mention, idk what else to tag or warn

Notes: 24 hours later I already have part 2 done. I was going to have up until galadriel joins the raft for part 2 but I have a lot of ideas so I'm splitting them up. I am also stretching the time during season 1, like instead of being a couple months it's gonna be about a year because it's my fic and I can do that. Saurons pov is all over the place bc he is all over the place and yeah. Feed back always welcome and lemme know if you wanna be tagged. Oh and everything was still done on my phone so sorry if it's weird.

“Halbrand?” You coughed.

It was all a blur for you. You were woken from sleep by the creature attacking the ship and in the flurry of rushing water, screams, and the sound of breaking wood. You had found a pair of arms around your waist. You held your breath and clamped your eyes shut, if you were to die you didn't want your last memory on this Earth to be of the ship's wreckage and the corpses of your traveling companions floating under the water. These fears disappeared as you broke to the surface of the sea with the arms around your waist still holding you securely. You gasped and filled your lungs with air, wet hair obstructing your view, but you could see the familiar face of your savior.

He hummed a response, and you could feel the sound reverberate in his chest. It was comforting, the feeling of his strong arms and solid chest. Despite the cold of the waters, his body was abnormally warm, and you found yourself pressing into him for more of that heat.

“There's a raft not far. I think there's another survivor or two aboard it.” He spoke, securing one arm tightly around your body as he used his other to move through the water.

You squinted and could see what you suspected to be the raft he spoke of, but it was rather far for him to swim carrying you “I can swim. I do not wish you to have to carry me all that way through the water.”

“No,” he responded firmly. “There is some terrible beast who just destroyed our ship. I will not allow you to go out on your own in the water.”

“But then we could both die if it finds us.”

Halbrand looked down at you, looking into your eyes as he spoke. “In that case, my conscience will be clear because I will be dead. I can already see the arguments forming on your tongue, and the answer is still no.”

He gave you a pointed look at which you nodded, “Thank you. Now hold on, sweet one.”

You wrapped your arms around his waist, closing your eyes. This has been quite the journey for you. You missed home, but you longed for a new start, a new place where your family's reputation didn't loom over you, and you weren't regarded with suspicion at every turn. You couldn't allow yourself to think this was it, that you'd die like this at the sea. You'd been through too much.

You didn't know if it had been 15 minutes or 3 hours when you heard a voice call out your name from the raft, the woman who'd slept across from you. You had only introduced yourselves and not talked much at all, but it was still a familiar voice.

“Here, help her up,” Halbrand called to one of the men as he hoisted you as best he could on to the raft. “There you go, sweet one.”

You pulled yourself up on the raft, and almost instantly, you found yourself falling asleep on the wood. Exhaustion took you after the adrenaline drop of finally being out of the water. You were swept into sleeps embrace as the sun began to peak over the horizon.

~

You awoke, rubbing the sleep out from your eyes and looking around you. The horrors of that night replayed in your mind, but then you remembered Halbrand. You sat up and noticed that the raft was considerably larger, different pieces of driftwood tied together, and makeshift sails set up. There were also more survivors than last night, but it was a considerably small amount. Your eyes roamed the passengers, but you couldn't find the one you sought.

“Your awareness of your surroundings is incredibly lacking.”

You startled at the sound of his deep voice, causing him to chuckle. He had been lying down and sat up as you turned to look at him. “Glad you woke, sweet one. If you'd slept much longer, I'm sure they'd try to add you to our rations.”

“There's rations?” You asked eagerly, unable to ignore the emptiness in your belly.

Halbrand nodded, “There is. He”- he motioned to an older man on the other side of the raft - “didn't want to give you any because you were sleeping, but I was able to do some convincing.” He handed you a chunk of bread and a small portion of dried meat.

You gave him your thanks, and as you grabbed it, you noticed his knuckles were bloodied. A quick glance at the old man, who you now noticed was sporting a bruise and a few cuts under his eye, gave you the answers you needed.

“Tell me you didn't strike an old man for this?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes and pushing the bread and meat further into your chest. “If I tell you he fell upon my fist, will you eat it? How I came about this matters not. What matters is you will not last if you do not eat.”

You sighed, feeling guilty but taking a bit nonetheless. The feeling of the bread and dried meat hitting your barren stomach was enough to make you moan softly. Halbrand chuckled, watching you and leaning against one of the makeshift masts.

“Thank you. For the food and for saving me. I don't know how to express my gratitude for all you've done for me,” you swallowed and wet your lips. “Though I must admit I'm greatly confused as to why.”

You looked over at him, brow furrowed as you awaited an answer.

“Because you are fair of face. I can not imagine the despair I'd fall into if I was stuck on a raft with nothing but them to look at,” he motioned to other inhabitants, “it would be quite bleak indeed.”

You couldn't help the blush that formed on the bridge of your nose and traveled across your cheeks. Despite this, you still shook your head. “There is no need to be rude or dishonest. I simply ask for the truth.”

“I admit that was rude, but it was anything but dishonest. You are beautiful, and I quite like looking at you,” his eyes noticed your blush, and it caused him to smirk - if only he knew of the butterflies forming in your stomach at his affirmation.

“Though,” he continued, “you are right. That is not the reason I saved you. It's only an added benefit. When I met you on the ship, there had been many that had complained that there was not enough notice. That I would deplete the rations and that they would have to recalculate everything. But you brought me extra soup, and it wasn't a small portion either. You brought it because you knew I had been on my own and assumed I'd been without food. You had no selfish intention. You were simply kind to a stranger because you felt it was the right thing to do. There is not enough of that in the world, and humanity can not bear to lose someone like you who is kind and good for no other purpose than that it is right.”

“Oh,” your voice was small, and your entire face burned bright red at his compliments.

“I would tell you more, but I'm afraid if I do, you may burst into flames.”

~

The waves rocked the raft gently, the previous night it had lulled you into a nice, deep sleep but there's only so much to do on a raft in the middle of nowhere and you had spent the majority of that time asleep. Your eyes watched the stars, feeling lucky that the sky was full of them and that the moon shone bright. The thought of endless darkness, especially knowing what was out there hunting in the ocean depths, was a terrifying thought. The sound of the others snores mixed with the sounds of the waves.

There was only one other who was still awake. Halbrand was busy tightening the ropes to secure the pieces of the raft together. You had noticed he did not sleep much. You had been on the raft for 3 nights and two days, and most of that time was spent with him. Though there wasn't much conversation, you seemed to be the only one on the raft he wasn't annoyed with. You caught him looking at you at times, which made you think he really did mean what he said on that first day.

“Still looking for hope in the stars, sweet one?” Halbrand teased with a smirk as he walked to where she sat and sat down next to her so close that their legs touched.

“Have you forgotten my name? You seem to only refer to me as ‘sweet one’.” You asked, tearing your eyes from the stars to look at him.

He rolled his eyes, your name rolling from his tongue. “Do you not like my nickname?”

“It is fine. I was just curious, and I wasn't quite sure why.” You looked up at him as you awaited his answer.

“Because you're sweet. Hence, sweet one.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “You're quite the flirt, Halbrand.”

“Only with you, sweet one.” He playfully pushed his shoulder into yours, and he sat there with you, looking up at the stars.

You enjoyed the moment. The heat from his body and the solid feeling of him next to you brought contentment. You wondered if it was meaningless flirtations or if he could mean all of it. You pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind. You were stranded on a raft in the middle of the ocean. Any romantic feelings you may be growing for him were unimportant in the face of that fact.

You looked over at him, and your eyes trailed down to the relic that hung from his neck. You'd noticed it before but had never thought to ask about it. Your fingers gently reached for it so you could get a better look.

“What is this?” You tilted your head, holding it in your palm.

“Have you seen it before?” His voice was soft, but his brown eyes watched your face intently.

You shook your head in answer.

“It's the heraldry of my family. I only asked if you'd seen it because it has been almost an age since we used it. I can't imagine any family in the Southlands has used heraldry in some time.”

You turned it over in your palm, examining it further. “Why do you carry it?”

He wet his lips, gently taking it from your fingers and looking at it himself. “It's a reminder, a grim one, that our fates are never certain and that fortune can change for anyone. We've seen that here,” he motioned around them.

“Is it a grim reminder? I find it quite hopeful. No matter what, nothing is certain, and nothing lasts forever. There may be evil, and there may be terribly dark times, but those times do not last forever. There is also good. Also times of wonder and prosperity.”

He laughed, smiling as he looked at you. “Of course, that is what you would say. Ever the light and so full of hope.”

~

It was not long after this that you had fallen asleep. He still sat next to you awake as ever. His mind reeling and racing with millions of thoughts, the conflict within him felt as though it would rip right through him. He wanted control and order. It was the only way in which this world could know peace. He also wanted revenge on Adar, on the orcs who attempted to kill him.

But he remembered Morgoth. He remembered his former master and the chase for power that ended in his utter destruction. Even before then, Morgoth had become enslaved to the power he held and the power he craved. That was a fate that Sauron did not wish to share. He did not want to lose control for the sake of power, but he would never be quenched without having power. He could not have both.

Then there was you. He had not expected you, and he was finding himself enthralled with you. He could not understand you or the effect you had on him. A human, of all creatures, making him question all he knew to be true. He had not lusted for the pleasures of the flesh in thousands upon thousands of years and it was never for a human but when your eyes gazed up at him through your lashes or when he saw the smile stretch across your lips and the dimples that followed, it made it impossible not to imagine how those same eyes would look gazing up at him as you kneel at his feet or how those lips would look parted in ecstasy. His thoughts were plagued with the idea of taking you, tasting you, and utterly corrupting you.

It was all incredibly inconvenient.

This wasn't part of the plan and if it was just lust that plagued him, perhaps he could drown you and be done with it but the infatuation with understanding you and your motives and how you became this way stopped his hand. And the damn warmth that radiated from you that reminded him of the home he could never return to. With you curled into his side, he could close his eyes and imagine a time before he was corrupted. It made him wonder if he truly was past all redemption.

When those thoughts dared make themselves known, he'd imagine you looking up at him with tears streaming down your cheeks and his cock shoved down your throat.

His eyes drifted toward the water. It wouldn't be hard. He's so much stronger than you. He could handle any resistance as he pushed you under the waves, and then his mind would be free of those thoughts. But then he looked at you, and a million unanswered questions filled his mind. He knew if he killed you, they would remain unanswered and would plague him forever.

He cursed under his breath and watched as you slept. The choir of a million thoughts did not stop, and he briefly wondered if you would be his undoing.

ofcofcofc 🫶🏽 and the gif is literally my reaction oops

devil's lair | annatar

pairing: annatar x ringsmith!elf!reader

word count: 4,4k

summary: where annatar shows particular interest in a certain ringsmith

a/n: i couldn't help myself, the need to write for this man was unbearable 🙏🏻 the second season was incredible! a quick disclaimer: i'm not too deep into the lore of the whole lord of the rings universe. i've only seen the movies a few times and never read the books. either way, i tried making it as accurate as possible and did my research!! hope you enjoy, feedback is always appreciated <3

warnings: angst, manipulation, violence, mentions of blood

universe: the rings of power

With careful, delicate movements you decorate the shining ring in front of you, surrounding the blue crystal with golden decorations. While you were working on this specific ring, you completely lost track of time, entirely absorbed in your work, and didn't even notice that the others had already put down their tools for the day. Because of you being so utterly concentrated, the tip of your tongue sticking out on the side of your mouth, you also don't notice that you are being watched right now.

With his arms crossed, he stands on the gallery on the other side of the forge, his gaze never leaving your figure as he watches your every move. Annatar has seen many hardworking elves over the decades, but such great dedication and drive for perfection surprises even him. He couldn't take his eyes off you even if he wanted to. You mesmerize him.

A slight smile pulls at the corners of his mouth as he watches you examine your creation, the wonder that is the result of the finest of elven arts.

Not entirely satisfied with your work, you reach for the next tool, but flinch when a hand is suddenly placed on top of yours, preventing you from picking it up. The moment your hands touch, a spark shoots through your body. A feeling that you can't quite describe flows through your veins. It is the same feeling you experience every time he enters a room. Startled, you look up at his face, his eyes flashing maliciously for a moment, and breathe a sigh of relief.

"I didn't mean to startle you, my lady", Annatar says softly, his tall and broad frame almost hovering over you as he stands so close to you.

"Oh, you.. didn't. I just thought I was alone. I didn't think anyone would still be here. Except for Lord Celebrimbor, of course", you answer, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks beneath his unyielding gaze. You lower your head, not sure what reaction to expect from him as he just stares at you from above.

The hand that lays on top of yours slides across the table to the ring. You watch as he slowly and carefully removes the ring from its holder and finally brings it in front of his face to examine it up close. Not sure if he is pleased, you nervously play with your hands and don't dare to look at his face.

"Breathtaking", you finally hear his soft voice say in a whisper, which makes you look up and, to your surprise, he looks directly at you. With a genuine smile, he nods at the ring he holds between his thumb and index finger. "You've done a wonderful job. Celebrimbor is lucky to have you in his forge."

"Oh, you think too highly of me. I appreciate your words but Lord Celebrimbor himself did most of the work. He is the master of this forge and the maker of these rings. I just gave this one the finishing touches."

"And you did an impeccable job", he marvels, an unmistakable sparkle in his eyes.

These words make the slight blush spread further across your face. Annatar gently reaches for your hand and guides it upwards so that he can carefully place the ring on your palm. With a frown, you observe this movement, feeling how the tips of his fingers slightly graze your palm as he places the ring inside. Once more, you feel that sudden pull, not overpowering but distinctly noticeable.

For a few seconds you stare at each other without another word, your hand remaining in the same position. The slight smirk that surrounds his lips, the wrinkles that form around his eyes because of it - all of this makes your heart beat faster for some inexplicable reason. You need a moment, a moment he clearly enjoys, to break free from your trance. In an attempt to escape this situation, you look in all directions while smoothing down the fine fabric of your dress, desperately searching for something to say or do.

"I- I think I should get back to my work", you finally say at the exact same time as Annatar softly whispers: "You have the face of a queen."

"W-What?", you ask, surprised and not sure if you heard his words correctly. He stares straight into your eyes for another moment before lowering his head with a smile, his long hair falling from his shoulders in front of his face as he takes a step back and hides his hands behind his back.

"Keep up your good work and one day you will be as great as your master", are the last words he says before he turns around and slowly leaves the forge. You watch him go, hoping that he will turn around once again and tell you more, but he just disappears through the large doors. What remains hidden from your sight, however, is the wicked smile he wears on his lips upon leaving.

"A queen?", you whisper quietly to yourself once the doors close behind him. You look around, meeting the eyes of Celebrimbor who is currently looking down at you from his gallery with narrowed eyes. Softly smiling at him, you turn back to your workbench and look down at yourself, shaking your head in denial.

You must have misheard.

════════════

The darkness that surrounds you is frightening. The small flame that suddenly appears in front of you seems to attract you, but the closer you get, the bigger the flame becomes. Eventually it turns so big that a monstrous creature rears up in front of you, letting out a deafening scream. Its flaming skin blinds you, its merciless eyes searching for prey. Helplessly, you grab the first objects you can find in an attempt to defend yourself against this dark being.

Until, suddenly, you stand in front of Celebrimbor, one of the rings created for men in his hand. You gasp for air and stumble back a few steps, hyperventilating as you are in complete shock. As you back up, trying to escape from everyone's stares, you bump into someone and if it weren't for him placing his hands on your arms to steady you, you would have fallen over. Meeting Annatar's gentle eyes when you look up to identify your saviour, a certain calm flows through you immediately. He looks down at you, his brow furrowed as he sees you in such a distraught state.

"What happened?", Celebrimbor asks you, his hand reaching out in a hopeless attempt to calm you down, but you flinch away.

"I was in a place similar to this one. But.. shrouded in mist and utter darkness. I saw.. flames, a huge fire. At first, I thought it was the forge, but.. it was alive. Tall, and its skin was made of flames. I-It was surrounded by death. I was surrounded by death. I looked into its eyes and.. and saw..", you try to make sense of the otherwordly experience, walking around in dismay, finding Annatar's face as his concerned gaze meets yours. "I think it's been here among us, all along."

For a split second, Annatar seems to be taken aback by your statement. However, his face shows immediate concern again as he steps closer to you, slowly, careful not to scare you away.

"You are with us now. There's nothing to fear", he states, giving you an encouraging smile. "Look around. All is well."

Staring at him, you have to blink several times to realize that everything you saw wasn't real. That the ring just overpowered you. And yet, your body bears the scars of it. You look around, see the faces of the other elves, of your master, of your friends, all of who are looking at you with such concern as if you were about to die on the battlefield. Feeling weak, you take another staggering step backwards and lower your head in the process, your hand on your chest where your heart is still trembling violently. You fight back the tears as you slowly sink onto the steps behind you and feel grateful that Annatar is answering Celebrimbor's justified questions about how things could have gone so terribly wrong in the first place.

From the distance, you hear him explaining that you used more mithril in order to protect the men from the immense power of the rings. Deep down, you knew that it wouldn't work, and yet Annatar convinced you all to try it regardless since Celebrimbor wouldn't offer his help in forging the Nine.

You only look up again when everyone has dispersed, leaving the forge after the eventful evening. Everyone except for Celebrimbor and Annatar. The Lord of Eregion kneels down in front of you and when you try to get up quickly because you never meant for him to fall to his knees for you, he gently pushes you back down. It is apparent that he doesn't know what to say, so he just forces a smile, full of pity and regret, onto his face and gives you several encouraging pats on the shoulder before standing up again, ascending the steps to his gallery.

You look after him, your eyes still glassy, and when you turn around again, you are slightly startled by the hand that is now hovering right in front of your face. You can still see worry flicker in Annatar's eyes, even as you take his hand and let him help you up.

"I'm sorr-"

"You are very brave", Annatar interrupts you immediately, making your eyes widen in an instant. How can he say that when you can barely stand upright even now? But all you can see in his eyes is that he is telling you the truth, that it is actually what he believes.

"Some who behold the Unseen world are never quite at home in this one again", he tells you, looking down at your trembling hands that you quickly hide behind your back.

"Have you seen it?", you ask in Sindarin, wondering why he seems to know so much about it. As an answer, Annatar nods with a sorrowful smile.

"In its light, things appear as they truly are. Beings of differing shades of light. And its darkness", he continues, his hand gently moving down your arm, bringing your hand to the front again. "It pains me to say, for what you saw, I did not wish for any of you to see until I had helped him to heal."

Briefly distracted by his surprisingly tender touch, you watch as he wraps his larger hand around yours to prevent it from shaking. Once you have processed his words, however, you gasp slightly and search his eyes for any signs that what he says is true.

"You mean.. You speak of.. Lord Celebrimbor?", you ask in disbelief, looking up at the gallery where he just disappeared to. You hear Annatar only from afar, telling you how 'vulnerable to the shadow' Celebrimbor is.

"Promise me you will speak to none other of it. Including him", you hear him say more clearly now as he uses Sindarin, a language he usually does not speak to you.

"I promise", you nod, feeling the warmth spread through your body from where his hand is holding yours tightly. You look at him as he gives you another smile, something he seems to do a lot around you lately, and force one onto your own lips as well. His sharp features are illuminated by the warm fire of the forge on one side, the other is shrouded in darkness. The fire, crackling and peaceful, however, does not warm you at all, only his thumb, which gently runs over the back of your hand, manages to do so and it seems like the light is now meeting the entirety of his face.

Unable to hold his soft gaze any longer, you turn away. You look around the forge, worried about Celebrimbor. If what Annatar is telling you is in fact true, then..

You desperately want to help Celebrimbor, but you don't know how or if you are even able to. So you tell yourself that it is probably better to leave this task to the Lord of Gifts.

While you are deep in your thoughts, you suddenly feel Annatar's fingers on your chin, guiding your face back to his so you look at him. With his other hand, he tucks a strand of your long elven hair behind your pointed ear, his eyes fixed on yours.

"You needn't worry, my lady", he says in a low voice, his hand cupping your cheek.

"I'm not a-"

"You are to me", he interrupts once more, not letting you finish, and you feel his face getting even closer to yours. His eyes focus on your lips as he comes closer and takes in all your senses completely, your thoughts are silenced and you close your eyes. When you open them again a little later, suddenly feeling a bitter cold, you see him standing far away from you, at the doors to the forge.

"Stay here. Keep an eye on him while I'm gone", are his last words before he leaves, leaving you cold and speechless, your thoughts and feelings a complete mess.

════════════

You can't recall how long you have been working on these rings. After what happened to you, Celebrimbor thought it would be better to banish all other elves from the forge so as not to cause any more damage. He wanted to send you away too, but Annatar convinced him otherwise. And Annatar told you that you are safe here, in the forge. Although you have to admit that you are wondering from what exactly you are safe. Because watching Celebrimbor step further into the darkness each passing day is far from any kind of safety. At one point, he even forgot your name.

You are utterly exhausted and have not left the forge for weeks, partly out of fear for your master.

A sudden loud clattering noise jolts you from your position. Looking around in confusion, you notice that you seem to have fallen asleep at your workbench, one of the rings for men glittering in front of you. Another loud noise reminds you why you were woken up in the first place and you quickly run up the stairs, gripping the fabric of your dress in your hands so you don't trip on it. Once at the top, you search for the source of the disturbing noises and finally find Celebrimbor sitting on the floor, motionless. Startled, you stop dead in your tracks and only approach slowly when he shows no reaction to your arrival.

"Lord Celebrimbor?", you ask into the void, but he just stares at a spot on the ground. "What happened?", you continue, seeing Fëanor's hammer lying on the ground next to him, some vessels broken on the ground.

You carefully walk towards him and finally sit down right next to him, not knowing what to do or say. You speak to him several times, but each time you are greeted with silence. As you look at him worriedly, you can see tears that are threatening to escape his eyes, his hands trembling. Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, you feel utterly helpless.

Until you suddenly notice movement out of the corner of your eye and are surprised to see that you didn't hear Annatar enter the forge and come up here.

The sight of him finally gives you hope. Your heart beats a little faster, just like every time you met since that one faithful day where you got so dangerously close. You can't explain what he does to you, but he has enchanted you and you feel an endless emptiness when he isn't with you. His appearance in the forge is the highlight of your day, when you create the rings together and exchange loving glances here and there. You can't describe your feelings, but secretly you hope that he feels the same.

Annatar's gaze wanders first to you, then to Celebrimbor, obviously upset that he is not working on the rings like he should.

"The rings. Are they finished?", he asks in a serious voice, his gaze fixed on the elven smith. In response, Celebrimbor only shushes him.

"Wait for it", Celebrimbor whispers with a smile on his lips that sends a shiver down your spine. Exchanging a concerned look with Annatar, you place your right hand around Celebrimbor's forearm as if this could somehow bring him back to his senses. Whatever is going on, you absolutely do not like it.

"Wait for what?", Annatar inquires to know and Celebrimbor points to the spot he has been staring at all this time. There, you are surprised to see a tiny mouse making its way across the floor, its nose in the air, probably searching for something to eat. His finger remains pointed at the small creature as he comments its scurrying with a humourless chuckle. As if expecting some kind of reaction, he finally looks up at Annatar who meets his unusual behaviour with a smile. Meanwhile, it has you even more worried.

"Captivating", is all Annatar says, his hands behind his back as if he observed such strange behaviour every day. Briefly, he looks over to you, his gaze apologetic but there is even more to it. This quick glance also reminds you of what he indicated at before: that Celebrimbor's mind is, slowly but surely, descending into dangerous territories. Memories of raging flames enter your mind and you remove your hand from him as if you burned yourself.

"It is a pattern", Celebrimbor continues, looking at Annatar until he apparently doesn't get the reaction he wanted and therefore decides to address you instead. "Do you not see? A cycle. Repeating itself at intervals throughout the day."

"I..", you start, but clearly Celebrimbor isn't finished yet.

"And there is more." With that, he abruptly gets up and goes to his workbench, rambling on. However, you have trouble following his words because nothing he says makes sense to you: You have seen this mouse for the first time today, the coal is almost completely extinguished by now and the candle has also mostly burned down. But Celebrimbor looks at you with such conviction that you feel incredibly sorry. You desperately want to believe him, but all that is repeating itself in your head is what the ring showed you.

You don’t know what to say and Annatar has trouble calming the blacksmith down as well. Finally, you decide to carefully approach Celebrimbor who is now standing in front of some of the rings on his workbench, his shoulders hunched.

"Lord Celebrimbor.."

Before you can reach him, however, he turns around angrily, the table he's leaning on rattling from the force.

"What have you done to me?!", he shouts at the Lord of Gifts, tears threatening to spill over. There is enormous hate and anger in his voice, but all you can hear is fear. He repeats his words over and over again until he suddenly picks up a hammer and misses Annatar by just a few inches. The tool breaks the window behind him with a loud shatter. In complete shock, you look at your master with wide eyes, only to realize that he suddenly seems paralyzed.

You use this opportunity to approach him again and slowly walk towards him, but his gaze is fixed on the broken window behind Annatar. You gently grab Celebrimbor's arm, but your touch suddenly tears him out of his paralysis. He violently pulls his arm away from you and stumbles to the doors to the balcony, opening them to let in the bright light of day.

You want to go to him again, wanting to find out what got into him, but this time a hand closes around your wrist and pulls you back, stopping you. When you look back, Annatar shakes his head in pity. So you both watch as Celebrimbor begins to silently sob on the balcony. His whole body shakes and as he backs away he almost stumbles to the ground. He looks around the entire forge and looks like he's about to lose his composure entirely.

"Lord Celebrimbor. Please, tell me what's wrong. I don't understand..", you ask, worried, and, despite Annatar's warning, walk towards him, your hands on your chest, over your aching heart.

"You don't hear it?" Only now does he seem to notice you again, to really see you.

You blink several times at this strange question. Right now, you find it very difficult to follow his words and although you really did not believe in what Annatar told you until now - you didn't want to believe it - everything seems to point to exactly that: the creation of the rings has driven Celebrimbor's mind into the dark abyss. Because the only thing you hear is the peaceful chirping of birds outside and the crackling of the fire still burning.

"I don't hear anything", you say in a low voice that breaks at the end. Seeing him like this and not being able to help deeply wounds you. At your words, Celebrimbor's glassy eyes widen almost imperceptibly and he lets out a shaky breath, stumbling closer to you.

"Y-You.. You don't?", he asks, now directly in front of you, his voice trembling. You shake your head apologetically.

"But.. But the debris almost killed you! Look, it hit right where you were working just a moment ago. T-The whole forge is in ruins. And you are.. You are bleeding", Celebrimbor rambles on, tears running down his cheeks upon seeing your incredulous expression. He swallows hard as he gently strokes your forehead with his thumb as if he were wiping something away. But the next moment Annatar is standing right behind you, forcefully grabbing Celebrimbor's wrist and thus stops him in his movement.

"Don't dare touch her", he says through gritted teeth. "You can't be trusted in your current condition, friend."

Celebrimbor's hand, which Annatar has firmly in his grip, is right in front of your face and you notice that there is no trace of blood on his finger. Unintentionally, you rub the spot he just touched and feel absolutely nothing.

"But she's bleeding! What have you done to us?!", Celebrimbor suddenly defends himself vehemently and in an attempt to free his hand from Annatar's grip, he uses so much force that his hand suddenly collides with your face. The hard blow and the force behind it make you stumble to the side, your hand placed on your now throbbing cheek in shock. Tears sting your eyes and you look up in fear, right into Annatar's enraged face.

"I wish you hadn't done this", he says with so much wrath in his voice that it makes you shudder. He rolls his shoulders before turning to the Lord of Eregion with these words. Celebrimbor, however, looks just as shocked as you.

"I- I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hurt her! You have to believe me!", Celebrimbor sobs violently and reaches out his hand to you, but he doesn't get far because Annatar immediately pushes him in the opposite direction, bringing him to the floor. While Celebrimbor scrambles to get up, Annatar is stomping towards him with determination in his eyes, his fist raised. But once he hears your soft, trembling voice, he instantly pauses.

"Don't!", you cry out in despair. Annatar looks at you, sees the fear hiding in your eyes, and finally makes a decision. He lets go of Celebrimbor and quickly comes back to you, helping your trembling frame to stand upright.

"Everything is going to be alright. He can't hurt you anymore", he comforts you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of how you are feeling. Carefully, he lifts your hand, which is still on your cheek, only to find a red bruise that makes the anger inside him boil. Snorting heavily, his nostrils flaring, he tries to suppress this anger. You, however, try to look past him to catch a look at Celebrimbor, so Annatar takes your face in his hands and forces you to look at him.

"Look at me. You don't need to be afraid. You're safe with me", he reassures you and you nod slowly in response, your eyes still full of tears. Annatar gives you a small, sympathetic smile and tucks your hair behind your ear before he runs his thumb over the spot on your forehead that Celebrimbor had already touched earlier. His fingertip softly strokes your skin there, his face concentrated as he does so, but there is still no blood when he pulls his hand away. He then leans forward and places a feather-light kiss on your forehead, distracting you from the throbbing of your sore cheek.

"I'll take care of him", he finally declares, one hand gently stroking the back of your head, smoothing down your hair, the other hand holding yours. When he turns around to turn his attention back to Celebrimbor, however, you are both surprised to see that he is gone, the doors to the forge wide open. Annatar wants to immediately follow him, but your hand is still tightly entwined with his. Before you can say anything, he beats you to it.

"Do. Not. Follow. Us", he says urgently, emphasizing each word so you get the message, squeezing your hand. "Go to your chambers, but do not, under any circumstances, leave this tower."

The vehemence in his voice makes you nod, even though you're not even sure what he's protecting you from. His eyes are screaming at you to trust him, to obey his words, so you do. Smiling softly, he lifts your intertwined hands and places a kiss on the back of yours. Before he can turn to leave, however, you gather all your remaining courage and quickly grab his face, stand on your tiptoes, and kiss him. You have no idea what this cruel world has in store for you next, which is why you wanted to at least let him know how you feel. Since he kisses you back after overcoming his initial surprise, you assume that the feeling is mutual, mending your shattered heart a little.

For a moment, you think you hear something, someone shouting, screaming, but when you finally let him go and watch his tall frame leave through the doors, you are met with silence once more.

if you bled

halbrand/sauron x fem!elf!reader

summary: you fell in love with halbrand because he was everything you ever wanted. but you didn't know who he really was. not until now.

warnings: angst, reader gets disappointed (i mean it’s sauron??) but wants to give in to the darkness

word count: 1.4k

author’s note: here i am, writing another fic about our beloved dark lord. i listened to syml’s where’s my love - alternate version and let myself just go with it. this is how it turned out and i really hope you like it. xx ps: i think there’s gonna be a second part. 🙂‍↔️

part 2

You already knew that you would fall deeply in love with him when you first saw him.

He was beautiful.

His soft lips and his hands that felt so perfect in yours. And there were these little wrinkles that formed at the edges of his eyes whenever he smiled.

But it was his green eyes that managed to cast a spell on you. They were so deep that it seemed almost impossible to ever let go again.

With each passing day, you could see more in him. The lost king who would never stop fighting until his last breath. With every second, you began to understand him more and fell in love with the idea that he could save you. From the pain that had happened to you in your past and the pain that would await you in the future.

You always felt a little less broken by his side.

And when Galadriel found out who he really was, everything you should feel was contempt. But you could never hate him. It was too late for that.

There was only the pain of not telling you the truth himself. All he had said to you was an illusion for what you had most desired. It had never been real.

“Have you been listening to me?” Galadriel’s voice tears you away from your thoughts. “Halbrand is not who you thought he was! He deceived you, he deceived us all,” she says and waits for your reaction. But all you can do is to look at her.

Memories started to play before your inner eyes. Of what had happened and dreams of what you wished would happen.

Above all, Halbrand, who touched you in a way that no one ever had before. In every possible way.

You can still feel his warm breath on your skin and his fingers gently stroking the fabric of the dress on your hip while he stands behind you.

His voice, just a gentle breath in your ear and the goosebumps it causes on your body.

His promise to take away the darkness inside you.

His lips gently dancing over your neck and making you sigh.

And the following kiss that set everything inside you ablaze. The harbinger of a fire that could burn down all of Middle Earth.

“No…” the word comes out in a whisper and you shake your head as a tear runs down your cheek.

Before Galadriel can say anything else, you turn away from her and leave the room to run up the steps of the tower to the top where the forge is located.

Your eyes immediately fall on Celebrimbor, who is looking down at something with a smile. Elrond is standing next to him and looks less thrilled, his gaze first on you, then back to the stone table.

You step closer and now you can understand why Elrond's gaze is so serious.

There were three rings lying there, each one more beautiful than the other. You are drawn to them as if by magic, you can no longer look away.

“They are... beautiful.” You slowly stretch out your hand, wanting to touch one of them, when Elrond clears his throat.

Your gaze wanders upwards and you see him shaking his head. It was a silent warning which makes you lower your hand again.

Galadriel slowly enters the forge behind you and also comes closer. “I can't believe it actually worked,” you hear her say, but your attention remains on the rings.

They sparkle in the light of the slowly setting sun and remind you of the glow in his eyes.

You hear Galadriel and Elrond talking to each other, but you don't understand them. It was if they were far away from you. All you can think about is Halbrand and the pain he left behind in you. As well as the never ending longing in your heart.

The desire to finally surrender to the darkness, now that it threatens to devour you from all sides.

Only when your name is mentioned and Galadriel puts her hand on your arm, you are torn from your thoughts.

You pull away from her touch, shaking your head and you see the pain in her eyes. But you don’t care about it, just as she doesn’t seem to care about yours.

“I... have to go. Don't try to stop me,” you say quietly and look one last time at Elrond and Celebrimbor, who are both frowning worriedly, then you turn around and run down the stairs again.

You don’t see that Galadriel tries to follow you, but Elrond stops her. He seems to know, that you needed to be alone now.

When you get downstairs, you hurry through the hall that is still lit by the last rays of the sun. You wanted to get away from there as far as possible.

But you stop at the sound of a voice. It is his voice, no doubt about it. You slowly turn around as he steps out from behind a pillar.

He looks different than the last time you saw him, but still so beautiful. Your gazes meet and it takes your breath away, just like always.

All you can do is to watch, as he comes closer. But when he holds out his hand to you, you flinch away.

He immediately frowns until he seems to understand and a certain hardness flashes in his eyes. “So Galadriel told you?” he asks.

You nod slowly and look him in the eyes to find out what he must be feeling, but he doesn't let you in.

“You should have told me yourself, Halbrand,” you begin, looking him dead in the eyes. “Oh wait, that is not your name, right?”, you add, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

But no matter how strong your disappointment is, you know, that you could never escape his darkness. Not now that you know, that this darkness also lives in you. Not when he holds your heart in his hands.

Halbrand holds your gaze and takes another step towards you. This time you don't back away. Not even when he carefully separates your arms. “And what would it have changed if you had known?” he asks with a rough voice and looks down at you.

“It would have simply changed everything. Because you would have never deceived me like you did,” you answer and you can hear your own desperation in your voice. “All of that was an illusion of what I always wanted. And you used that against me. You used me. It was all a lie,” you add with a whisper and you can't hold back another tear.

Halbrand raises one of his hands to your face and catches the tear with his thumb. He smears it on your skin as he strokes your cheek, watching as it glistens in the sunlight.

He looks at you with a gentle gaze, even a little desperate. As if your words touch him deeply.

As suddenly footsteps sound behind you, he gently pulls you into the shadows, the part of the hall that is no longer lit by the sun.

You feel the cold stone wall at your back and resist the urge to lean into his touch.

“You're wrong,” Halbrand finally says and you look him in the eyes again. “I never lied to you. I was just not completely honest about one thing...” he pauses and slowly moves his face closer to you. “I never intended to take the darkness from you. I wanted you to surrender to it,” he finally breathes against your lips and you close your eyes.

His arm wraps around your waist and he pulls you closer to his body. “I wanted you to surrender to me,” he adds, his mouth now on your ear.

You can't help but shiver as his breath brushes over your neck, causing goosebumps on your body. But instead of kissing you there, he pulls away from you again and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“As much as I would like you to do it right now, this is not the right time,” Halbrand whispers and you begin to understand.

“You're not really here, am I right?” Just then you notice the blood on the right corner of his mouth. It hadn't been there before.

Suddenly he seems completely different, as if he was dropping his facade. His face is dirty and his clothes have seen better days too. You put your hand gently on his cheek and caress the blood with your thumb.

“What has happened? Where are you?” you ask quietly and raise your gaze to look into his eyes, but there is secrecy in them. He wouldn't tell you.

“Please, Halbrand, tell me where you are. Let me come to you,” you say, but he shakes his head and takes your face between his hands.

The look in his eyes leaves no room for protest and you know you wouldn’t resist him. You never could.

“No. You will stay in Eregion. I will find my way back to you, i promise.” Those are the last words you hear, then you find yourself alone in the hall again, surrounded by complete darkness.

And you are more than ready to drown in it.

2024 | notreallythatlost