Nice

nice

Firelight and Starshine

(Edmund Pevensie x Reader Smut)

[ Requested by @duxpuella - I have a edmundxreader smut (while he was still a king, by his 21 birthday or something) where he falls for a fire witch? I have the scenario in mind, would probably be his birthday or something and the witch would sing along the fauns and make the fire "dance"(??)- (it's not exactly how you imagined, I think, but I hope it's okay!)]

Edmund hardly ventured to the revels in the woods. He knew they were quite fun and turned rowdy by the time night fell- Lucy was a constant guest at these revels, and she would regale her siblings with tales of what fun had happened- but he avoided them.

It wasn't because he was all work and play- he quite liked playing, in fact- but he knew that revels meant inebriation, and inebriation meant losing control of oneself.

And he did not ever intend to lose control of himself ever again.

Which made his current predicament all the worse.

His feelings- blech- were out of control.

And he couldn't stop them.

Worst of all- these feelings were regarding a witch.

She wasn't a bad witch, Susan had hastened to assure as she'd accompanied her into the ballroom- but Edmund had been wary.

She was from Galma- a witch of fire and the Duchess of Galma's primary advisor- and she was the island's chosen representative for that week's council.

She'd been supposed to stay only for a week, but she'd chosen to remain there for good, saying- with a not-so-subtle glance at the Just- that she belonged more in Narnia, amidst the magic and the fantasy, than she ever had in Galma.

She did not move into Cair Paravel- thank Aslan for small mercies, or Edmund would've clawed his hair out by the end of one week- but in a cottage near the Dancing Lawn.

But she visited, often- Susan and Lucy were quite taken with her- and made Ed's skin crawl and his blood thrum every time he caught sight of her.

The name is Y/N, she'd spoken with a shy smile as she'd come face-to-face with the younger King for the first time in the ballroom. She'd curtseyed, her (H/C) hair falling over her bare shoulders, and Edmund- transfixed- had taken her hand, and pressed his lips to it. Her smile had turned sultry, her eyes alight with flame and desire, and she'd walked away.

She had left his presence, but she hadn't left his thoughts.

And it was driving him mad. He couldn't concentrate. He couldn't sleep- and when he could sleep, he would dream of her, and would wake up hard and in agony. He hated her already- how could he possibly be so infatuated with someone- and that too a witch?

He would've forgotten it was his twenty-first birthday, too, had it not been for Lucy's cheery wish that morning.

“Your Majesty?” Someone was speaking.

He was startled out of his thoughts, and he looked beside him to see- her.

It was her.

Speak of the devil...

“Lady Y/N.” He bowed his head stiffly. He was out in the Gardens, resting on one of the benches after a particularly strenuous sparring matches with his brother- he'd won, of course, but Peter had laughed it off, saying he'd gone easy on him because it was his birthday.

He usually would've gone in to bathe, but he wanted to enjoy the cool breeze while he could- and he was certain that as soon as he entered the castle, Susan would descend upon him and demand that he decide on a 'theme' for his Ball, which was to be the next weekend. “I was not aware you were visiting.”

“I'm not- I was just on my way to Owlswood.” Her tone was cold, as she could sense the Just King's checked animosity. What had she ever done to him in the few months she had know him? Smiled? “I was looking for Queen Lucy- she likes to come with me to the revels-”

“Lucy and Susan are busy, at the moment.” He said- and at her questioning gaze, he continued, “They- they're planning my- my birthday Ball.”

“Oh! Is it your birthday?” Despite her coolness towards him, she managed to smile and take a seat next to him. “Happy Birthday, Your Majesty, and my best well-wishes for your future life.”

“Thank you, my Lady-”

“I'm not a Lady.” She shook her head- she hadn't had the heart to correct anyone else, but she didn't want be false in front of the young King. She snapped her fingers, and a flame bloomed at the tip of her index finger. “I'm just a lucky witch.”

“You're the Galmese Duchess's advisor-”

“Yes. I advise her. But even to her, like I am to everyone, I'm just a sinful creature, a beast- but with one saving grace- my intellect. I have no noble position, no eminent title.”

Sinful.

She was sinful.

But not in the way she thought- not to him.

“You're not-”

“Please, Your Majesty. I'm not stupid. I know why you look at me the way that you do-” The fire in her eyes had dimmed, as she looked to the ground, “I know you have an especial hate towards the White Witch, and that your wariness towards other witches is justified.”

“Yes.” He would not lie. She was bewitching, but he did not want to be bewitched. She enamoured him, but he wanted free of her beguiles. “You're quite right. I mistrust witches far more than the average person does.”

She nodded, accepting his words, but couldn't not say, “There's something more than just mistrust when you look at me.”

He swallowed, and ran a hand through his hair, “You're close with my sisters. I'm protective of them.”

“I wasn't aware that lust for me comes from being an overprotective brother.” Y/N said calmly, before getting to her feet. She could feel how hot his temperature was, despite the pleasant spring day- how it always was when she was near- and it made her ache to feel his warm body against hers. The fullness of his lips, the freckles of his cheeks- oh, she wondered if the rest of him was freckled as well- the leanness of his legs and shoulders- she had felt drunk just looking at him.

But his curt tone had sobered her, and before he could respond, she curtseyed again, saying, “I'll take your leave now. One mustn't be too late, even to revels.”

-

Edmund was in distress. Her words had alarmed him- did she know how much he wanted her, and how he longed to tear her clothes off and have her? Did she know she drove him crazy?

Most importantly- did she feel the same?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he did everything absently- he walked up to his room absently, narrowly avoiding his elder sister; he bathed absently, getting more soap on the floor than on him; and it wasn't until he'd tried to put boots on his head that his reverie broke.

He couldn't take it anymore. This confusion, this bitterness, this unwanted desire- he had to get rid of it. Somehow- anyhow- he had to get it out of his mind and out of his life.

The world had darkened, the sky now a purplish-black- and he heard the revel before he saw it- he could hear laughter and dancing hooves, and the crackling of flames, and his heart beat just a bit faster.

Fire meant Y/N.

He bade Phillip to wait, and he slipped into the clearing where the fauns and nymphs and humans- humans had migrated to Narnia from the other countries, after the coronation- danced and laughed and drank and kissed.

Hiding behind a tree- he wasn't sure how they would react to seeing the Just King there- he spied on the party, his eyes searching for the captivating witch. He could see dwarves, he could see dryads, he could see- was that Mr. Fox!?- but he couldn't see the one he craved.

His heart began to sink- but then he saw her, almost hidden by the bonfire.

She was standing to the right of it- she'd discarded the cloak she'd been wearing earlier, and now was clad in a plain, sleeveless gown, the same colour as cherries. She was singing and laughing, her hair open and cascading down her back, and she was twirling her fingers at the fire, which swayed in tune to the music of the faun-flutes.

She looked beautiful.

And Edmund knew he must leave. Whatever he'd been planning to do- he wouldn't yell at her just to vent his own sick urges. He was not the hateful boy he had been, and he put others' feelings before his own satisfaction.

He'd been about to turn and leave, when suddenly the flame rose higher, taller than the trees, and there was a collective yelp from the crowd.

He was about to jump and help however he could, when the fire calmed and so did the people.

She wasn't singing anymore, and her hands had dropped to her sides- she was staring right at him, her expression grim.

Oh, hells. He hadn't meant for her to see him- he'd been about to go away!

And now she was- fuck, she was walking towards him-

“Why are you here?” She asked, wrapping her arms around herself. She'd felt warm by the fire, but she felt warmer still in his presence. That never happened. She was warmer than normal beings- they usually cooled her down, not heated her up!

The Just King had an effect on her, that no one had ever had.

She didn't know she felt about it.

“I-” He swallowed. He'd always been smooth and silver-tongued in his reign- but now he felt horribly tongue-tied. Her gown was low-cut, and he had to work to not let his eyes drop to her chest. “I don't know.”

She snorted, “I doubt that there is anything in the world that you do not know, Your Maj-”

“Edmund!” He spoke without thinking- he wanted to hear her deep, lovely voice say her name. She was so close to him- there was hardly a sword's-length between them. “Please- call me Edmund.”

She looked at him, her eyes wide and irises blazing.

She licked her lips, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, and he hated her more than ever.

He hated her, because he didn't hate her.

“I- Edmund-”

He couldn't take it anymore- he couldn't hold himself back anymore- she was so dazzling and so scintillating, and her lips were parting, and- and he pulled her into his arms.

Their lips were an inch from each other, and it was unbearable to both that they weren't kissing already.

But Edmund wasn't about to kiss her without her consent.

“If you don't kiss me right now, Edmund Pevensie,” Her voice was low and trembling, “I will literally light you on fire.”

And there it was, her consent.

So he dipped his head low, and pressed his lips to hers.

The kiss began tentative and chaste- Y/N was cautious, and Edmund was struggling- but as she pushed her tongue into his mouth, and he moaned, pushing her against a tree- whatever inhibition, whatever reluctance, whatever apprehension there had been disappeared.

“Y/N.” He murmured, as if her name was a prayer and a divine song- kissing her jaw, before slipping his hands inside her blouse and cupping her breast. He rubbed his fingers over the nipple, which hardened as he touched it, and he wanted to lick it. “Y/N.”

She could feel herself get hotter and wetter all at once, and it took everything she had in her to not rip his garments off and have her way with him.

Her fingers danced along the hem of his tunic- pesky clothes- and then she tugged the shirt up, wanting to- no, needing to feel more. She broke away from the kiss long enough to pull the tunic over his head and drop it onto the grassy floor, and running her hands over his smooth stomach. He had freckles over his shoulders, continuing over to his back, and a thin trail of hair began from his navel, disappearing into his breeches- a trail she yearned to follow.

Her toes curled as she met his lips in another kiss- he was soft and furious and caring and bold all at once, and she moaned his name again, the most beautiful name she'd ever heard, as he traced circles around her breast.

“Edmund.”

She was much too clothed, he couldn't help thinking as he brought his hands out to rest on her waist- he wanted to touch her, he wanted to kiss her all over, but everywhere his hands went, there was fabric-

“May I?” He murmured, ghosting his fingers over the bows at the back which held her gown together. One jerk, and the dress would go tumbling down...

“Don't want to be the only naked one?” She asked teasingly- he wasn't fully naked, yet, but she intended to change that soon- before nodding. Immediately, he tugged the bow, and the top loosened, falling from her torso, and he pulled her close to him, their chests pressing against each other, and he wrenched her gown down, so that it lay on the ground in a scarlet puddle.

She was firelight and starshine brought to life, he thought, captivated. The curve of her hips and breasts, the arch of her back- he gazed at her, drinking her in- from the scar at her collarbone to the thin piece of cloth covering her most intimate part.

He pushed her against the tree again, harder, their lips crashing against each other- she didn't even care about the bark of the tree digging into her back, as he slipped his hand into her knickers, rubbing her clit until her juices coated his fingers- she was panting, “Faster,” wound tight and driven to the edge, and- although neither of them were aware- the fire in the clearing rose ten feet into the air with every flick he gave her nub.

“Sto-stop.” She didn't want to come like this, she didn't want to unravel before him, she wanted to be inside him when she exploded in bliss.

He paused the movement of his fingers, and looked at her, alarmed.

Her eyes were fluttering, and she was gasping, and her chest rose and fell heavily, as though she was having trouble breathing.

“Are you alright?” Had he done something- wrong? Had he gone too fast, too soon? He'd been intoxicated off the sound of her breathy moans- and he'd forgotten who he was, that she was a witch, that they were in a bloody forest- all he knew was that she was, in his arms, her lips on his, and that was that mattered. “Should I stop-”

“No!” Her eyes glowed orange, and she fumbled with the belt of his breeches. If he stopped, if he pulled away, she would explode. “Just- need you-”

He caught at her hand, and lifted her chin up to look at him. Her mouth was trembling, fire flickering in her eyes, and he knew she could feel how hard he was, just as how he had felt how wet she was- but he was not going to fuck her against a tree, two feet from a crowded revel.

“Not here.”

She wanted to whimper.

He looked behind him- there was nothing but trees and darkness, but- aptly for someone decreed to the Woods- he knew that, not far from here, they would find a smaller clearing, bathed in moonshine, where they could make love and lie clasped together.

He bent and picked up her gown, and arranged it around her shoulders as a cloak, and Y/N managed to scoff, saying, “I won't catch cold. I'm a fire witch. I can keep myself warm even in the iciest of winters.”

“It's not to keep you safe from the cold.” He pointed out, as he took her hand and they began walking. “It's to keep me from losing control and ravishing you on the way.”

They strolled in silence, with only the hooting of the owls breaking through their soundless bubble.

Y/N couldn't help but notice that he had failed to put on his tunic and was trembling due to the coolness of the night. She made her palm grow hotter, not enough to scald him but enough to comfort him, and he squeezed her hand tighter, as he led her ahead.

Finally, they were there. A clearing, beringed by trees and covered in wildflowers, the size of a small council-room.

He had spent time in the first years after his coronation here- reading, or practicing swordplay on his own, or just sitting and trying to soothe his mind and soul amidst nature.

And now, as a twenty-one year old, he'd be sating his body's desires.

Seemed about right.

Y/N shrugged, the gown falling off her shoulders, and in another instant, they were in each other's embrace again, fumbling to take off her knickers and his belt, kissing and giggling as they tumbled onto the ground.

Edmund kissed down her neck and chest, sucking and licking- she gasped as she felt his teeth on her skin, and she knew when she would look in the mirror the next day, she'd be covered in love-bites-

Somehow, the thought made her quiver with rapture.

She rolled her hips against him as his mouth reached the top of her breasts, and he groaned, the friction making his erection harder than ever.

“Torture.” He murmured, as her fingertips flitted over his back and slipped inside his breeches, resting on his ass. “You, you witch, torture me.”

She raised her brow, and moved her hand to cup his cock- and he let out a shaky breath.

“You seem to like it, my King.” She whispered, stroking him- his dark eyes darkened even more, like a night sky without the moon and stars. “But I think you'd like it more if you were inside me.”

She hastened the speed of her stroking.

“If you were thrusting into me.”

His eyes closed in ecstasy.

“If we came undone as one.”

She pulled out her hand.

“Witch.” He hissed, as he knew he had fallen as deep for her as a child would into a well. He hooked a finger into her knickers, dragging them down, just before she pushed down his breeches with her feet- and he wanted to bury his face between her legs, tease her with his tongue, watch her lovely face as she orgasmed, but his cock was twitching, and she was biting her lip, her cheeks flushed and her hips bucking, and he knew there was time for that later.

He brought his head down and kissed her, just as he entered her, her slickness and tightness and moans making this the best birthday he'd ever had.

Y/N didn't have to tell him to go faster this time, which was probably good because she couldn't even think right then, much less say anything, as he started pumping in and out, and her walls clenched and throbbed around him, both of them not far from the sweetness and bliss of orgasmic ecstasy.

He dug his nails into her hips and she fisted her hands in his hair, their tongues dancing together- until both of their eyes closed and mouths opened in euphoria, clutching each other as they shuddered apart as one.

Witches, he mistrusted- he mused soon after, as she wrapped her legs around his waist and he kissed her clit- but Y/N, he rather liked.

-

jason todd x reader <3

-this is based off one of the batfam webtoons so please my heart is so full i love it so much

- fluff fluff fluff

- & damian wayne

- reader is referred to as a girl

-art by @jjmk-jjmk

jason had been out on patrol and well damian had been following him.

jason knew damn well damian had been following him, following him for weeks now, and it was a silly reason unknown to jason but so very important to sweet old dami.

damian needed black mail on his older brother, desperately.

he had nothing, no real weaknesses, no real break down of him, he had absolutely nothing.

well he had you.

but damian wasn’t that stupid, you were dating todd why would you help damian black mail him.

though that basic thought didn’t stop him for stopping by your and jason’s shared apartment after school about a week ago. 

“y/n, will you please tell me anything about jason?”

“damian.” you stopped him before he could even start to process the fact that this was a bad idea and his vaguely worded question was going to get him absolutely no where with you. “if you came here for information you know very well that i will a) not give it you, and b) will only give you information for the persons report you insisted on writing about me for school.”

he then glared and you and stalked away from your door before abruptly turning around realizing he did in fact have to finish the report he started writing about you.

none the less he needed to find a new tactic.

which he had later stumbled across this idea of just simply breaking into todd’s and yours apartment.

this idea didn’t just come from thin air though.

he had happened to eavesdrop overhear you and babs in the batcave having an extensive conversation about taking a much needed break, which included you considering going to your hometown to see your parents since jason was going to be working on a case for the next few days and you really didn’t want to be in his way.

which brings us back to this fine evening in gotham, no real crime flooding the streets and robin had managed to find a very tactile way to sneak off from his father and into the quaint little suburban area, well as suburban as you can get for gotham, where jay and you had settled on an apartment.

it wasn’t hard to get in. he wasn’t expecting it to be. he knows jason comes in through the fire escape most days, which is connected to the living room, he only knows because of the few times he comes to spend time with you, if it be for movie night or school help, but never long enough to look around his brothers home.

damian took his time initially. he walked in and out of the living room and kitchen, which was actually rather modern and sleek, leading into the second bedroom which looked much like a weaponry room back at his own home deep within the walls of the batcave.

though he did take note of the many awards gifted by talia and the craftsmanship of certain gun barrels that you had carved into wood (a talent of yours damian rather admired and often asked you to teach him).

then he finally began the true snoop, his room.

but what he wasn’t expecting but the loud yelp that bellowed from the deep abyss that was, well supposed to be a empty room.

jason was on a case and you, you were supposed to be-

“damian what the fuck!”

you were supposed to be in jump city.

his eyes went wide as he flustered for a light switch and for some words.

he respects you, he loves you, you are like another mother figure to him, a big sister, and he totally messed up.

he floundered for words, starting to trip over an apology “y/n! i apologize this-“

“you are in so much trouble.”

the lights went on and damian knew he was dead.

damian would never cower to todd, never in a million years.

but todd doesn’t play games when it comes to you and unfortunately for damian, though unknowingly, he just messed with his big bothers whole world, his home.

“todd.”

damian’s voice was so small, he was genuinely fear full, especially after catching a glimpse of your face white with fear, eyes wide, and mouth hung open.

you were fast asleep, wrapped in one of jason’s old sweaters and nothing else. and you had now been rudely awoken by the one and only spawn of bruce wayne who had not only broken into your house but also scared the living daylights out of you by sneaking around your bedroom dressed in a black cape and a hood.

i mean regardless of the fact that you thee red hood, that’s fucking terrifying.

jason wasted no time, still in his full gear, helmet and all grabbing damian by the hood of his uniform so to make eye level as you slowly rise from your flat positioned on the bed to now one with your back flat against the headboard.

“speak demon brat.”

“y/n was supposed to be out of town.”

“well they aren’t.”

“they should have been.”

“they aren’t.”

“well-“

“can the two of you stop speaking about me as if i not only a few steps away.” your voice carried to the both of them with jason immediately dropping damian’s hood so it goes crashing to the ground and damian now frantically trying to find anything to black mail his brother with.

his eyes scanned the room fast as jason just began waking towards, the hiss from the release of the helmet filling the stale air as damian’s eyes finally landed on the one thing he could use against him.

“now damian if you-“ you started, taking a deep sigh as you watched jason slowly start to sling off his leather jacket, swinging around to your side of the bed most likely to show you some sort of affection.

“i knew it!” damian cut you off, leaping toward the direction of a small bookshelf that jason had designated specifically for his books, ones that were limited edition or from the manor that reminded him of the days were being robin did give him magic, memories.

jason seems unphased as damian reaches for one of his many copies of pride and prejudice, his smile wicked as he declares he knows your boyfriends’ secret.

“that’s not a secret kid.” a small snicker merges from jay’s mouth as he leans down briefly, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

damian’s smile now fallen from both of the unwarranted affection and his lack of black mail yet again.

“but, this is a girly book, one of love?” his voice sounded so fragile, so confused, causing a smirk to arise on jason’s face and a small smile on your own.

jason then pushed away from you, reading out to damian turning the book to the first page, tapping it lightly with the index finger. “read it first, then ask me again.”

and before you knew it damian had removed his domino mask, found a seat in the arm chair by the balcony door of the master bed room as you remained in your spot in bed and jason now sat at his desk, unloading the guns he had brought out on patrol with him tonight.

it had been now a few chapters for damian, a few clicks and cleans for jason, and just a few flicking your eyes back and forth between the two as damian would randomly say something or comment on one of jason’s annotations and your boyfriend would simply answer without even turning his head.

now the digital alarm clock was glowing with a simple time of 4am, jason had turned his chair giving you granny hands and pouty lips, silently asking you to follow him out to the living room and seeing as you had to get up at 5 anyways for work you might as well take the few moments with your boyfriend you had.

so you left the comfort of your warm bed, starting the train put into the living room, followed by jason clicking together the bits and parts of his gun, and lastly trailed by a damian shouting something about elizabeth being blind to her true love.

so you started listening to him like you would jason, climbing under the covers of the many blankets you had left on the couch from the previous movie night with babs the night before, with jason carefully setting down his guns and crawling right up with you, head on your chest and body between your legs.

damian took a seat just across from you two, reading and reading, making a few comments here and there about the book but he was no long determined to finish the book before the sun rise in just a few hours.

“i didn’t like that he scared you.”

the gruff voice finally spoke in a whisper as his head slightly turned to look at your, waiting to see what your reaction would be.

“it wouldn’t be the first time one of your brothers walked into our bedroom when they weren’t invited.” you spoke honestly, running a hand through jason’s hair, but your comment very much so caused a sense of annoyance because of its validity and truth.

“but he assumed you wouldn’t be home.” he repeated, taking a pause to look at his kid brother before going back to you. “what if it wasn’t damian?”

that is when it hit you, that jason wasn’t made at damian for showing up unannounced. damian does that often, on nights when he gets into it with bruce or when he needs you, his big sister, and the occasion (though he never admits it) when he needs jason, the brawn, the sensitive one.

jason hated that it could have been someone else, someone who wasn’t family, someone who wanted to hurt you.

“yeah but it was.” you half smile at him, his frown deepening, “jay, love, please it’s okay.”

“he scared you darling.”

“jason i’m fine.” you sighed, running your hands across his scalp, eyes turning to look at damian who was weirdly looking between both of you and the boom still displayed in his hands.

damian’s eyes narrowed, looking back down at the book to read a line and then back up to his brother and you, a sigh following and a small apology.

“i’m sorry i disturbed you.”

jason turns his attention from you, your eyes already focused on damian. his hands fiddling, doggy earring the book page and setting done next time, acting as if he was leaving now, as if he was distributing us currently.

“what are you doing d?” your boyfriend spoke before you, unsure of his sudden shyness and need to leave.

you began nodding your head, jason’s hand reaching for your own.

“i distributed you, woke y/n, this isn’t my home.”

a stale air and broken pauses, just the sound what you assumed to be your racing heartbeat filling the ears around you.

jason sat up, broken really, he loves damian and he never wanted him to feel how he did for so many years, unwanted.

but jason didn’t know how to do this, how to talk to damian, how to be soft and gentle. he was only that way with you, only you.

so now your sitting across from the small boy dressed in black, green, red, and yellow, who is fiddling with the domino mask and your pouty boyfriend staring at you waiting to fix it.

jason liked having him read his favorite book, he likes seeing his eyes light up and have a reaction the same way he did, and he needed you to fix it.

“damian no one ever said you did anything.” you finally settled on saying, breaking the silence and the constricting air around you all.

“it was evident i scared you and continued to follow todd after he told me not too.” he settled in saying, slight sting in his voice, a sting because of his actions not annoyance at the two of you.

now this was new for damian. damian doesn’t apologize to anyone except for jon and you really. but he also never really admitted his wrong doings nor felt bad for doing such a thing.

jason was guaranteed he was only being remorseful because of you but you knew damian felt genuinely upset about the whole situation toward jason and yourself.

“damian.” you sighed, pushing the blankets off your body, tossing them onto jason who was still looking a mix of sad and dumb struck at the entire situation unfolding in front of him.

your body carried over to the small boy, crouching in front of him with your hand resting on his knee in attempts to catch his attention but instead you were met with him upturning his nose with glassy eyes.

“dami.” you spoke again, tapping his legs waiting for his attention but when coming up empty your hand reached turning his chin in your direction with force. “you know damn well this is just as much your house as it is ours.”

“but i-“

“but what damian?” your voice got a small clip of annoyance in it which really did catch both the boys attention as jason let out a small gasp and damian then gave his entire focus back to you.

“but this is your home, your life with todd.” he expressed, hands flapping to show you around the home as if it wasn’t where you lived.

a sigh and shuffle, “D, you are apart of this life if you like it or not.” your boyfriends voice was firm, almost annoyed but he was trying not to seem overly affectionate.

damian looked at you with a worry in his eyes. glassy and bags forming, he had school this morning and you were sure he wasn’t going to go today. your small head nod and a small confirmed what jason said but he still doubted.

“you are not related.” he spoke, small and uncertain but with his normal sass.

“damn straight demon spawn.” jason laugh sounded throughout the living room and a small smirk arose on damian’s face. “but i have swords from your mother and am legally bruce’s first child, so in a way.”

you turned to jason, smile wrapped on your face and your mind focused slowly on him as damian took you off guard, wrapping his arms around your neck in a tight hug, holding you tightly so your back was against his chest.

he needed a big sister hug.

he needed his family tonight.

even if he originally came there to get dirt on his older brother but anyways.

a few moments of this, jason getting up and grabbing his phone, making a few called to a very worried batman who had been trying to find his robin all night and then proceeding to grab your own phone without your knowledge and text your supervisor that you weren’t coming into work today.

“y/n” damian pulls away from you, waiting patiently for you to turn his attention to you.

“yes damian.” you spoke but proceeded to glare at jason who had a slick smile on his face after calling everyone in sick for the day with the intent of reading books with his younger brother and his girl.

“i know you only do it for jason.” he trailed off not unsure of what your response would be and how to ask this.

you turn attention briefly between jason, who was already nodding to the question unasked by his brother and your hand already reaching for the pushed aside pride and  prejudice, “yes of course i’ll read to you.”

damian light up with excitement as did jason who was already walking over to you, scooping you up in his arms as you cling to the book. his body pressed flat into the couch with you in between his legs.

as damian wanders off to go get changed into a pair of his extra clothes kept in the drawers along with tim’s, dicks, cass’s, steph’s, bab’s, and even bruce’s extra clothes.

“i love you more than you can ever know darling.” jason cooed into your ears, kisses all across your neck and jaw as he relates the words over and over.

“yeah, yeah todd, let me start reading.”

“yeah todd, let her go i want to know who ends up with elizabeth in the end.”

it had no been hours, the clock reading 10am with a sleeping jason behind you as he clings to you tightly, as you finished the last line of the book, closing it and turning your attention to a tired robin.

“you know,” he spoke up, smiling to himself “i hope that if i ever have a love in my life it will be as true as you and todd.”

and in that moment your heart swelled up almost three sizes and your lips up turned to a smile that simply couldn’t stop, as he bud you a goodbye and began walking to the spare room.

“dami?” you watched him turn back around the corner looking back at him, “i love you al'akh al'asghar”

“i love you more alakht alkubraa”

Y/N: Hey, Felix, can you help me with this zipper?

Felix: Sure

Y/N:

Felix:

Y/N: Up, Felix

Felix: Right, of course

My fav

jason todd x reader <3

-this is based off one of the batfam webtoons so please my heart is so full i love it so much

- fluff fluff fluff

- & damian wayne

- reader is referred to as a girl

-art by @jjmk-jjmk

jason had been out on patrol and well damian had been following him.

jason knew damn well damian had been following him, following him for weeks now, and it was a silly reason unknown to jason but so very important to sweet old dami.

damian needed black mail on his older brother, desperately.

he had nothing, no real weaknesses, no real break down of him, he had absolutely nothing.

well he had you.

but damian wasn’t that stupid, you were dating todd why would you help damian black mail him.

though that basic thought didn’t stop him for stopping by your and jason’s shared apartment after school about a week ago. 

“y/n, will you please tell me anything about jason?”

“damian.” you stopped him before he could even start to process the fact that this was a bad idea and his vaguely worded question was going to get him absolutely no where with you. “if you came here for information you know very well that i will a) not give it you, and b) will only give you information for the persons report you insisted on writing about me for school.”

he then glared and you and stalked away from your door before abruptly turning around realizing he did in fact have to finish the report he started writing about you.

none the less he needed to find a new tactic.

which he had later stumbled across this idea of just simply breaking into todd’s and yours apartment.

this idea didn’t just come from thin air though.

he had happened to eavesdrop overhear you and babs in the batcave having an extensive conversation about taking a much needed break, which included you considering going to your hometown to see your parents since jason was going to be working on a case for the next few days and you really didn’t want to be in his way.

which brings us back to this fine evening in gotham, no real crime flooding the streets and robin had managed to find a very tactile way to sneak off from his father and into the quaint little suburban area, well as suburban as you can get for gotham, where jay and you had settled on an apartment.

it wasn’t hard to get in. he wasn’t expecting it to be. he knows jason comes in through the fire escape most days, which is connected to the living room, he only knows because of the few times he comes to spend time with you, if it be for movie night or school help, but never long enough to look around his brothers home.

damian took his time initially. he walked in and out of the living room and kitchen, which was actually rather modern and sleek, leading into the second bedroom which looked much like a weaponry room back at his own home deep within the walls of the batcave.

though he did take note of the many awards gifted by talia and the craftsmanship of certain gun barrels that you had carved into wood (a talent of yours damian rather admired and often asked you to teach him).

then he finally began the true snoop, his room.

but what he wasn’t expecting but the loud yelp that bellowed from the deep abyss that was, well supposed to be a empty room.

jason was on a case and you, you were supposed to be-

“damian what the fuck!”

you were supposed to be in jump city.

his eyes went wide as he flustered for a light switch and for some words.

he respects you, he loves you, you are like another mother figure to him, a big sister, and he totally messed up.

he floundered for words, starting to trip over an apology “y/n! i apologize this-“

“you are in so much trouble.”

the lights went on and damian knew he was dead.

damian would never cower to todd, never in a million years.

but todd doesn’t play games when it comes to you and unfortunately for damian, though unknowingly, he just messed with his big bothers whole world, his home.

“todd.”

damian’s voice was so small, he was genuinely fear full, especially after catching a glimpse of your face white with fear, eyes wide, and mouth hung open.

you were fast asleep, wrapped in one of jason’s old sweaters and nothing else. and you had now been rudely awoken by the one and only spawn of bruce wayne who had not only broken into your house but also scared the living daylights out of you by sneaking around your bedroom dressed in a black cape and a hood.

i mean regardless of the fact that you thee red hood, that’s fucking terrifying.

jason wasted no time, still in his full gear, helmet and all grabbing damian by the hood of his uniform so to make eye level as you slowly rise from your flat positioned on the bed to now one with your back flat against the headboard.

“speak demon brat.”

“y/n was supposed to be out of town.”

“well they aren’t.”

“they should have been.”

“they aren’t.”

“well-“

“can the two of you stop speaking about me as if i not only a few steps away.” your voice carried to the both of them with jason immediately dropping damian’s hood so it goes crashing to the ground and damian now frantically trying to find anything to black mail his brother with.

his eyes scanned the room fast as jason just began waking towards, the hiss from the release of the helmet filling the stale air as damian’s eyes finally landed on the one thing he could use against him.

“now damian if you-“ you started, taking a deep sigh as you watched jason slowly start to sling off his leather jacket, swinging around to your side of the bed most likely to show you some sort of affection.

“i knew it!” damian cut you off, leaping toward the direction of a small bookshelf that jason had designated specifically for his books, ones that were limited edition or from the manor that reminded him of the days were being robin did give him magic, memories.

jason seems unphased as damian reaches for one of his many copies of pride and prejudice, his smile wicked as he declares he knows your boyfriends’ secret.

“that’s not a secret kid.” a small snicker merges from jay’s mouth as he leans down briefly, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

damian’s smile now fallen from both of the unwarranted affection and his lack of black mail yet again.

“but, this is a girly book, one of love?” his voice sounded so fragile, so confused, causing a smirk to arise on jason’s face and a small smile on your own.

jason then pushed away from you, reading out to damian turning the book to the first page, tapping it lightly with the index finger. “read it first, then ask me again.”

and before you knew it damian had removed his domino mask, found a seat in the arm chair by the balcony door of the master bed room as you remained in your spot in bed and jason now sat at his desk, unloading the guns he had brought out on patrol with him tonight.

it had been now a few chapters for damian, a few clicks and cleans for jason, and just a few flicking your eyes back and forth between the two as damian would randomly say something or comment on one of jason’s annotations and your boyfriend would simply answer without even turning his head.

now the digital alarm clock was glowing with a simple time of 4am, jason had turned his chair giving you granny hands and pouty lips, silently asking you to follow him out to the living room and seeing as you had to get up at 5 anyways for work you might as well take the few moments with your boyfriend you had.

so you left the comfort of your warm bed, starting the train put into the living room, followed by jason clicking together the bits and parts of his gun, and lastly trailed by a damian shouting something about elizabeth being blind to her true love.

so you started listening to him like you would jason, climbing under the covers of the many blankets you had left on the couch from the previous movie night with babs the night before, with jason carefully setting down his guns and crawling right up with you, head on your chest and body between your legs.

damian took a seat just across from you two, reading and reading, making a few comments here and there about the book but he was no long determined to finish the book before the sun rise in just a few hours.

“i didn’t like that he scared you.”

the gruff voice finally spoke in a whisper as his head slightly turned to look at your, waiting to see what your reaction would be.

“it wouldn’t be the first time one of your brothers walked into our bedroom when they weren’t invited.” you spoke honestly, running a hand through jason’s hair, but your comment very much so caused a sense of annoyance because of its validity and truth.

“but he assumed you wouldn’t be home.” he repeated, taking a pause to look at his kid brother before going back to you. “what if it wasn’t damian?”

that is when it hit you, that jason wasn’t made at damian for showing up unannounced. damian does that often, on nights when he gets into it with bruce or when he needs you, his big sister, and the occasion (though he never admits it) when he needs jason, the brawn, the sensitive one.

jason hated that it could have been someone else, someone who wasn’t family, someone who wanted to hurt you.

“yeah but it was.” you half smile at him, his frown deepening, “jay, love, please it’s okay.”

“he scared you darling.”

“jason i’m fine.” you sighed, running your hands across his scalp, eyes turning to look at damian who was weirdly looking between both of you and the boom still displayed in his hands.

damian’s eyes narrowed, looking back down at the book to read a line and then back up to his brother and you, a sigh following and a small apology.

“i’m sorry i disturbed you.”

jason turns his attention from you, your eyes already focused on damian. his hands fiddling, doggy earring the book page and setting done next time, acting as if he was leaving now, as if he was distributing us currently.

“what are you doing d?” your boyfriend spoke before you, unsure of his sudden shyness and need to leave.

you began nodding your head, jason’s hand reaching for your own.

“i distributed you, woke y/n, this isn’t my home.”

a stale air and broken pauses, just the sound what you assumed to be your racing heartbeat filling the ears around you.

jason sat up, broken really, he loves damian and he never wanted him to feel how he did for so many years, unwanted.

but jason didn’t know how to do this, how to talk to damian, how to be soft and gentle. he was only that way with you, only you.

so now your sitting across from the small boy dressed in black, green, red, and yellow, who is fiddling with the domino mask and your pouty boyfriend staring at you waiting to fix it.

jason liked having him read his favorite book, he likes seeing his eyes light up and have a reaction the same way he did, and he needed you to fix it.

“damian no one ever said you did anything.” you finally settled on saying, breaking the silence and the constricting air around you all.

“it was evident i scared you and continued to follow todd after he told me not too.” he settled in saying, slight sting in his voice, a sting because of his actions not annoyance at the two of you.

now this was new for damian. damian doesn’t apologize to anyone except for jon and you really. but he also never really admitted his wrong doings nor felt bad for doing such a thing.

jason was guaranteed he was only being remorseful because of you but you knew damian felt genuinely upset about the whole situation toward jason and yourself.

“damian.” you sighed, pushing the blankets off your body, tossing them onto jason who was still looking a mix of sad and dumb struck at the entire situation unfolding in front of him.

your body carried over to the small boy, crouching in front of him with your hand resting on his knee in attempts to catch his attention but instead you were met with him upturning his nose with glassy eyes.

“dami.” you spoke again, tapping his legs waiting for his attention but when coming up empty your hand reached turning his chin in your direction with force. “you know damn well this is just as much your house as it is ours.”

“but i-“

“but what damian?” your voice got a small clip of annoyance in it which really did catch both the boys attention as jason let out a small gasp and damian then gave his entire focus back to you.

“but this is your home, your life with todd.” he expressed, hands flapping to show you around the home as if it wasn’t where you lived.

a sigh and shuffle, “D, you are apart of this life if you like it or not.” your boyfriends voice was firm, almost annoyed but he was trying not to seem overly affectionate.

damian looked at you with a worry in his eyes. glassy and bags forming, he had school this morning and you were sure he wasn’t going to go today. your small head nod and a small confirmed what jason said but he still doubted.

“you are not related.” he spoke, small and uncertain but with his normal sass.

“damn straight demon spawn.” jason laugh sounded throughout the living room and a small smirk arose on damian’s face. “but i have swords from your mother and am legally bruce’s first child, so in a way.”

you turned to jason, smile wrapped on your face and your mind focused slowly on him as damian took you off guard, wrapping his arms around your neck in a tight hug, holding you tightly so your back was against his chest.

he needed a big sister hug.

he needed his family tonight.

even if he originally came there to get dirt on his older brother but anyways.

a few moments of this, jason getting up and grabbing his phone, making a few called to a very worried batman who had been trying to find his robin all night and then proceeding to grab your own phone without your knowledge and text your supervisor that you weren’t coming into work today.

“y/n” damian pulls away from you, waiting patiently for you to turn his attention to you.

“yes damian.” you spoke but proceeded to glare at jason who had a slick smile on his face after calling everyone in sick for the day with the intent of reading books with his younger brother and his girl.

“i know you only do it for jason.” he trailed off not unsure of what your response would be and how to ask this.

you turn attention briefly between jason, who was already nodding to the question unasked by his brother and your hand already reaching for the pushed aside pride and  prejudice, “yes of course i’ll read to you.”

damian light up with excitement as did jason who was already walking over to you, scooping you up in his arms as you cling to the book. his body pressed flat into the couch with you in between his legs.

as damian wanders off to go get changed into a pair of his extra clothes kept in the drawers along with tim’s, dicks, cass’s, steph’s, bab’s, and even bruce’s extra clothes.

“i love you more than you can ever know darling.” jason cooed into your ears, kisses all across your neck and jaw as he relates the words over and over.

“yeah, yeah todd, let me start reading.”

“yeah todd, let her go i want to know who ends up with elizabeth in the end.”

it had no been hours, the clock reading 10am with a sleeping jason behind you as he clings to you tightly, as you finished the last line of the book, closing it and turning your attention to a tired robin.

“you know,” he spoke up, smiling to himself “i hope that if i ever have a love in my life it will be as true as you and todd.”

and in that moment your heart swelled up almost three sizes and your lips up turned to a smile that simply couldn’t stop, as he bud you a goodbye and began walking to the spare room.

“dami?” you watched him turn back around the corner looking back at him, “i love you al'akh al'asghar”

“i love you more alakht alkubraa”

I Want To Make Babies With Her - Tormund Giantsbane

Pairing: Tormund Giantsbane x Snow!reader, Jon Snow x twin!reader, Sandor Clegane/Beric Dondarrion/Thoros x reader (platonic)

Requested: Yes

Prompts: None

Warnings/notes: Cursing, mentions of sex and violence, changes in the timeline. I haven’t seen the old episodes in a long time so I had to change the request up a bit, hope it’s okay anyways! Also, I just wanted to tell you that English is not my first language so I’m sorry for any mistakes, and I also don’t edit them before I post them. I’m usually too tired and do it afterhand instead

Wordcount: 5569

Description: You’re Jon Snow’s twin sister and Tormund forms a strong attraction to you, and after a while, you feel yourself growing to like it.

The day you had reunited with your twin brother, you hadn’t seen him in years. 

You had been with Robb during his reign in the North, fled the Red Wedding with your life barely intact, and unfortunately with the loss of you direwolf. 

You were on your own for so long, before finally coming across the Brotherhood Without Banners, Beric and Thoros taking a liking to you almost instantly thanks to your unusually dirty mouth and sparky personality. 

During your travels, you had eventually stumbled into the Hound, Arya and her friend Gendry. 

With everything going down, you got separated with your sister and the other two once more, and hadn’t seen them since. 

Until now. 

Keep reading

Batboys Scenarios: Forgetting Your Anniversary

Part 1

Feat: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damian Wayne

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick Grayson

You tried to hint about it all week, your three year anniversary was right around the corner and you had so much planned just to get Dick back for last year. You wanted to make him feel just as special as he’d made you the year before but Dick had other plans. Unfortunately for you he’d agreed to go out clubbing with his friends the same day as your special day, so he had left you waiting that night. You had hope that he would show up eventually but once you had seen his instagram story with pictures of him holding Kori during a dance and sharing shots with Zatanna and Wally you knew he’d forgotten. You went to sleep that night in tears, how could he have forgotten today of all days?

Dick got home late that night and happily stumbled into the shared apartment a bit drunk, it was far past midnight but he still hoped you’d be up to listen to his festive night until he noticed the banner hanging in the kitchen. ‘Happy Anniversary’ in bold letters, his heart sank to the floor and suddenly he was sober. He rushed to your shared room and found you sound asleep, but he wasn’t stupid, he noticed the tear stains along the apples of your cheeks. He brushed your hair out of your face and pressed a kiss to your sleeping face only for you to turn over in your sleep, he could tell you were fast asleep but knowing that he hurt you like this destroyed him.

“I’m so sorry baby, I’ll make it up to you.”, he whispered. He sighed and slowly snuck into bed with you, he pulled you in close and held you tight hoping to make you feel a little better. The next morning you woke up to his slumbering face, he reeked of alcohol and women’s perfume but you recognized the scent as those of his exes.

You were upset you had every right to be, you pulled away slowly and snuck off to the bathroom to get ready for work. While you were fixing your hair he appeared in the door way, guilt written all over his face.

“(Y/n), aren’t you supposed to be off today?”, he asked quietly.

You shook your head, “Changed it to yesterday since I had plans won’t be off again till next week.”, you admitted fixing your blazer.

You rushed by him and sped to the front door without another word, he wanted to give you a kiss but now that he’d hurt you he wasn’t sure you’d let him. Now that he was awake he was able to see just how much you’d planned this out, all of his favorite foods had been wrapped in plastic for later since he failed to show, carefully decorated the apartment for him, and a small stack of pillows and blankets sat at the end of the couch meaning you’d intended to spend the night cuddling with him while watching a movie.

“God I fucked up big time.”, he groaned hanging his head in shame.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason Todd

Jason was angrier then usual today, you weren’t sure why but he was, you tried to be patient and understanding but there was only so much you could take. You tried to play cute, let him figure out why you were so happy about today, but he just seemed annoyed by you.

“Tough patrol Jay? How about we relax and eat someth-“

He doesn’t respond as he takes off his helmet, just glares ahead of him.

“I made your favorites, come on let’s eat. You can sleep after.”, you hum softly touching his shoulder delicately.

He jerks his body away from you and turns to focus his glare on you instead. You notice his teeth gritting into a angry snarl but you choose to continue. “Jay what’s wrong? Talk to me please, you’re worrying me.”, you speak softly daring to take that final step towards him but then he lashes out.

“Just leave me alone, annoying woman.”, he growled throwing his helmet towards the wall.

The sound of your picture frame shattering against the floor made you flinch, “Can’t you see I want to be left alone?!”, he growls. You sigh and slowly kneel down to clean up the mess. Your pictures were still intact, Jason huffed in frustration obviously torn between helping you or getting away from you, “Why does that stupid photo matter to you?”, he hissed watching you cut your finger on a glass shard.

“Because it’s the picture of our 1st anniversary, I thought it meant something but apparently I was wrong.”, you speak softly trying to hide the sobs ready to spill from your throat along with the hot tears, “Just like I was wrong that you’d stop being an asshole and remember today’s anniversary.”

You stood up and tossed away the pieces of glass before disappearing to your bathroom to treat your hand. Jason stayed in the living room trembling in fear of you leaving him, he hated making you upset. He followed you back to the room, nervously popping his fingers as he entered, his teal hues scanned the room for you. He could hear the shower running but even the cascading water wasn’t loud enough to hide your quiet sobs. He felt guilty, waiting at the door like an idiot, but he didn’t want to let you go to sleep upset. Jason took his side of the bed and waited for you to come out but the exhaustion of Patrol finally caught up with him, he knocked out within minutes. Eventually you decided to come out of the bathroom, your skin pruny from your long shower. You noticed Jason in bed already but refused to wake him, you took to your side and placed a pillow between you two in order to stop Jason’s nightly ritual of hugging you while you slept.

“Guess I wasn’t as important as I thought.”, you sighed, balling yourself up. You’d forgive him eventually…at least you hoped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim Drake

Being one of the leaders of Wayne Enterprise was never an easy job, it took hours out of one’s day and was brought home way more then it should be. Tim was naturally a very stressed person, often burying himself in work instead of taking time for himself and unfortunately today was one of those days. You’d made all of his favorites, hell you even brewed some of his favorite coffee just in case he needed it, you were so excited to show him your new dress and take him out dancing but while you waited more time passed. The tall candles decorating the dinner table soon burned out, reminding you of just how much time had passed, the food had gone cold and still there was no sign of him.

“I going to kill him if he’s still at work!”, you cried out in frustration, you grabbed your phone and dialed his number waiting for him to answer. Just as you’re about to hang up he does, voice tired and annoyed. “Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne, where are you?”, you huff into the phone.

“Baby look I know I promised I’d be home early but I just had to finish these reports. Keeping up with all the brach finances isn’t an easy job.”, Tim sighed out his excuse just like last time but this was the final straw you were tired of the excuses.

“I know you’re a busy guy but you promised me, you promised you’d be home tonight!”, you cried tears spilling from your eyes.

Tim groaned out in annoyance, “(Y/n) please don’t cry, it was just dinner. We can have dinner together any day you want. I just really have to get this done.”

“Tim you push things off between way to often, you don’t even take breaks let alone actually enjoy your days off. Please just today just drop everything and come home.”, you tried to reason with him only to receive a disappointed sigh.

“(Y/n) I love you, but it’s just a dinn-“

“It’s our anniversary you jerk!”, you finally snapped and fumed to the sound of the phone call ending.

You cried in frustration and grabbed your keys rushing out of the apartment to go drinking. Tim arrived about twenty minutes after you left realizing the apartment was empty while he panted for breath, he called out to you hoping for an answer but all he was met with was silence. He slapped his hands against his face, clutching his bangs in frustration, how could he have forgotten today of all days?

He waited for you, hoping you’d come home soon, but now he realized just how lonely it felt to wait for you. You went through this feeling every night and yet you still smiled for a horrible man like him.

“I’ve gotta make this right…I have to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian Wayne

“Damian please can’t anyone else go on this mission? You gave me your word that next week would be just about us.”, you sighed watching your husband pack for this month long mission with the League.

“Beloved I know you’re concerned but everyone is already well aware of who the members of the Justice League are. Nobody quite knows who I am yet so I’m the most obvious choice for the job, if you’re worried about me you don’t have to be. I’ll be with Grayson and Raven so I won’t be alone.”, your green eyed lover replied pressing a kiss to your temple to ease your stress.

The mention of his ex’s name made your blood boil with jealousy, you could tell there was still a spark between them and it made you uncomfortable. Honestly Dick and Raven were more then enough for this mission so why did he have to go?

“I’m not worried about you, I know you can handle yourself. I-I was just really looking forward to next week.”, you sighed sitting down on the edge of your bed in defeat.

Damian noticed something was off and tried to comfort you with another kiss to your lips, naturally you kissed back but it didn’t make the disappointment go away. He was doing it again, forgetting your important day just like the year before, that pain never went away and now it was back making your heart ache far worse than before. Damian was a great and loving husband but trivial things like dates always seemed to slip his mind, You wanted to be angry but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that. You’d just wallow in your disappointment until eventually you’d numb out the pain.

“Beloved are you alright?”, He asked, cupping a firm hand on your cheek.

You hadn’t noticed you were crying until Damian’s hand met your cheek, you wanted to explain why you were so upset but your first instinct was to just bury it all and lie. You smiled up at him and choked out, “S-Sorry I-I’m just really going to miss you. I-I’m being selfish it’s okay. Go do your hero work.”

He pulled you up and wrapped his arms around you, you stayed still and just listened to his heartbeat. Honestly this was the closest you’d felt to him in a while, “Everything will be fine (Y/n). I’ll come back home safe and when I do I won’t let you go for a month straight just to make up for lost time.”

You nodded, you noticed a black dome form behind you and sighed realizing Raven had arrived. Damian noticed as well and smiled grabbing his things before pressing one last loving kiss to your lips, you looked like a sad puppy standing there in the middle of your room.

“I’ll be back soon Habibti, I love you.”, he declared before disappearing in another black sphere.

You nodded and simply cried your tears once he was gone, “Yeah…apparently not enough to remember our wedding anniversary.”