Watching Supernatural And Finding Out That Destiel Are Supposed To Be Enemies To Lovers??????? In What

watching supernatural and finding out that destiel are supposed to be enemies to lovers??????? in what world are we talking about because from a first timer perspective these bitches have been flirting since minute 1 of “lazarus rising”

dean flustered EVERY time he talks with castiel? every time castiel goes near him? that is a boy who’s having the biggest gay awakening ever right in front of our eyes.

castiel meeting with him IN HIS DREAMS? what kind of shakespearian doomed shit is this

and i’m only at E4S4.

“are you allergic to straight answers” COME ON

13.19 Funeralia

Not the colour blue

I'm spending today photographing and uploading documentation from my childhood for my upcoming adult ASD assessment. My heart is breaking for this kid on the pages of school and special educational needs reports from 1988. She's reporting stomach and knee pain, chronic fatigue, textbook childhood chronic migraine worsening at menarche, shitty PMS and painful periods, and she's falling into severe depression and anxiety because she's being disbelieved and punished for all of that. She's become terrified in school, of school, despite academic excellence, but every source of 'help' is trying to shoehorn her back into mainstream education as if the issue is behavioural, not medical.

"Claims to be ill". "Investigated but no medical cause found." "Is receiving medical support with these issues." 'Psychosomatic' is the new 'hysteria'.

Much of this paperwork is from 40 years ago, give or take. I remember the context and much of the detail. I remember complaining that professional adults were putting words in my mouth and pressuring my mum to agree with them. I did not, sadly, have the vocabulary back then to respond with the words I wanted on record about the reasons I was struggling or the possible solutions - words like "overwhelmed" and "meltdown" and "pacing" and "rest". So I was diagnosed with severe anxiety - a fairly typical presentation for an autistic girl masking the crap out of her real self all day, every day, in the desperate hope of fitting in. Educational psychologists demonised my dad. A defensive secondary school demonised me (but, helpfully for current purposes, did so in terms that, today, read like textbook autism-masking in girls rather than a misbehaving little brat with hypochondria.)

This all sounds really negative and whiny, I know. It's not, I promise. I am angry on behalf of that little girl, and all the other kids like her who spend their lives trying to argue with medical authorities that the colour black is, in fact, not the colour blue, whatever they say.

Every bit of paper here, bar the defensive school's statement, says I was doing my best. Always doing my best, always willing, polite, articulate, academically capable and self-motivated. I knew one colour from another better than many functioning adults, even if I couldn't find the words to say so when I was 14.

Maybe I'll be diagnosed with ASD at the age of 50, maybe not - the absence of an adult who can remember this period and fill in the observational evidence side of the assessment is a real barrier to an accurate diagnosis, but this 1988 SEN paperwork at least provides a snapshot of one neurodiverse and overwhelmed 14 year old who held out with rational arguments and consistent statements against the idea that her parents were to blame for any of this. Held out against the idea that illness was faked as an excuse to avoid school. Who proposed practical solutions and gave them an honest try, even when they were a disaster. Who began to thrive when a short-term placement in a small special needs group became possible, only to flouder again when it ended.

I'm mostly writing this because I know that, still, children and teens are struggling to be believed when they say, "something's really wrong, I'm really struggling with 'normal' expectations here, please help me figure it out and cope". Or whatever words to that effect they can muster at their developmental age. "A headache in my tummy" is the classic one for littles with migraine. Adults in general have got better at listening - at knowing there are things like ASD and AD/H/D and chronic illness to watch out for, but I know that young people are still too often overwhelmed by and underprepared for independent adulting in the same way that I was (and, when pressured from the outside, still am.) My 18 year old nephew just paid for these struggles with his life.

I'm here to say that you're not alone if you're struggling. It's never too late, and the world does move on from old ignorance. Slowly, slowly, but it does. Vindication will probably be yours before too long, but with or without it, you'll grow up to be you. That's all anyone can reasonably ask. That's what I did - the only thing I could control. Being myself. I didn't think I'd survive being this girl I'm so angry for, but I did survive. I found my own path when nobody would help me, and when the internet came along, I found so many people with similar stories and knew that I wasn't alone. Slowly, at 50, I'm finally unlocking the puzzle box and finding my answers - and I'm believed.

You're not alone if you're struggling. Struggling now doesn't mean that you will always struggle. Lack of answers now doesn't mean that answers will never come. You're always you, and it's enough. Take it from that girl who lived it. It's enough to build a life on, so please don't let go.

The incredible concept art of Stargate (1994)

something you don't learn until you get really far into the making and tinkering life is that there's no such thing as "glue" really. there are so many kinds of substances that stick other substances together and they are all very different and if you just go look at the adhesives aisle in the hardware store the packaging never actually tells you anything useful. it's like "this is SUPER T-REX POWER GLUE" and the fine print says "good for use on wood metal and plastic". okay. but WHICH PLASTICS MY GOOD BITCH,

because SURPRISE, there's no such thing as "plastic" either. every kind of wood is basically the same on a chemical level, but the only thing every plastic has in common is "some of its molecules are long" and that is NOT a quality that determines how things stick together.

I just ordered some stuff I hope will permanently stick a circuit board to a steel sheet and withstand temperatures up to 150 degrees. by the way circuit boards are made of epoxy-bound woven glass cloth which is cool as hell but what the fuck do you glue that with? can any of the 12 kinds of adhesives I currently own do that? no of course not. if I want to stick two pieces of acrylic together so hard they become watertight to a depth of 3000 metres I have some shit that does that, but it does literally nothing else.

anyway. once you start learning how many kinds of sticking things together there are, the people at 3M start to seem like witches and I don't know if they're the kind we can trust with that level of arcane knowledge

9.09 Holy Terror