My, My, Well, I Don't Have Hopes For The Official Comics But I Am Willing To Explore This Topic Further.

My, my, well, I don't have hopes for the official comics but I am willing to explore this topic further.

Aside from Sniper, what are others' wounds that made them join this blasphemous corporation?? People don't pay much attention to it but how did the mercs join Mann Co. in the first place? They didn't just go there, knocked on the door and asked for employment, right? So what are the backstories?

I'm guessing Mann Co. wanted the best of the best men out there, but those who would actually take insane risks of their lives. This kind of reminds me of Portal but instead of Olympic champions and astronauts, Mann Co. wanted ABNORMAL men. What that means exactly is still an open question for now. But hear me out, Valve heroes are never trained fighters, they are just very desperate and have no other choice but to proceed.

Why would mercs be different?

I mean, is any one of them a certified fighter? I mean yeah, Engineer has 11 PhDs but he's still more of a mad scientist rather than a formal doc. Any other?? Soldier who has never been in a war, Medic with no license, unregistered demolition, mental hospital refugee, Scout who is just a street boy wtf is he doing at the frontline??

Smells fishy, isn't it?

They wouldn't be here if they were really trained professionals. So that's why I assume they got here because they had no other place to go. And Surprisingly, in here, they got everything they wished for.

(these are my headcanons that I tried to build based on logic, however, their bases aren't exactly stable, keep in mind)

Sniper wanted to be violent legally, so he doesn't think about his moral struggles anymore (except when he talks to his dad in the phone).

Scout was a school dropout who didn't have many options of what to work as. Although, while they were always diners and gas stations, his family of million brothers pushed him and his pride down, so in order to become a bigger man in society's eyes, he applied to military service. Probably meant to Korea or Vietnam but was redirected to Mann Co. instead.

Heavy had really difficult clashes with the Soviet Government (being a national enemy by many articles) he went to make money to US. He was probably known by Mann Co. even before his change of settlement, they knew the story about the Gulag demolition/escape, so they got interested in this person's potential.

While not being a nazi himself, Medic worked in the closed german experimental camps because it was the only place his unlicensed ass could apply (fleeing country in the wartime wasn't an option). And they needed mad scientist. However, instead of using prisoners as a resource, he made them super humans (baboon hearts kind of shit) so these prisoners killed the security guards and escaped. To avoid state persecution, Medic immigrated to America where was known and got invited to work for we-know-who.

Engineer's work is generational.

I don't know much about Demoman's lore (it's a little confusing) but "a reckless alcoholic extremist who desperately needs a job" sounds perfect for who they were looking for.

Spy is obviously not a real spy but rather a skillful conman who made through life by stealing, pretending and seducing rich women. Mafia history might be there too. But he wasn't invincible and the police was a pretty serious problem for him, so joining a secretive organisation was a solid solution. (Plus, someone could make a funny thing by setting up him and Scout together, because they knew.)

Pyro was a person who spent all their life in a mental hospital, seen as dangerous to society/unadjusted. Mann Co. reached to them and gave them a chance, which turned out great.

Soldier, too, was either a mental hospital often guest, a prisoner or a simple local crazy man who has severe amnesia and violent behavior. Good option too.

It's not a place where you could just ask to be employed, as not everyone actually could. It was some kind of a "safe heaven" for those who didn't have another place in the world. It was an insane but a very effective move by Administrator, who wanted this team of abnormal men to unite against something Big and Important ™ of which we still know nothing about. Does it make sense?

You know, I don't see a lot of people talking about this moment in the TF2 comics right here, seconds after Sniper realizes he's actually from New Zealand. Does anyone else think about how freaking insecure Sniper must have been growing up?

I know it has a somewhat comedic tone but I can't help but think about poor Sniper as a kid wondering why he was so different but never knowing why. With other Aussies being huge and muscular he must have thought something was wrong with him. And I feel like you can actually see the relief on his face in the bottom panel.

Also, side note, I love the bit about him throwing rocks from a tree which absolutely foreshadows his future as a sniper. His whole thing is shooting people from far away because he was never built to go on the offensive.

Regarding the previous post

Rubber Touch

Last post's timelapse

//Somehow this work made me SO tired, even though the last session lasted only about 3 hours I suddenly felt so weak I immediately dozed off (even though I had enough sleep hours before that and it was definitely too early to go to bed). And then I napped for 7 hours, still feeling like my blood have been sucked off as I'm writing it. Yeah low-key feels like I'm dying right now.

Maybe this piece is cursed. Be careful.

more mercenary analysis, whichever merc you want <3

Not a mercenary but... Okay!

Let's dissect Pauling

Always so collected, responsible and efficient. The one who is not afraid to get her hands dirty for the sake of a goal, and her performance is always one hundred percent. What could possibly be not cool about her?

Well, maybe the fact that this all is, in fact, an act. Of course it is.

I'm not saying her determination and dedication to her job aren't sincere decisions of her heart, she really enjoys it and shines in her work. It's just a matter of WHY and WHAT she's doing it for. And on what scale.

For her, her job is EVERYTHING. Eagerly working 364 days a year with barely any rest, masochistically putting herself in so much danger, blindly following the boss's instructions, not even hesitating to kill people standing on the way...

Wow, there's gotta be something going on here.

Well, obviously the Administrator plays A HUGE role in this situation. Why would Pauling trust her so much? Referring to the comics, Pauling trusted her wholeheartedly on whatever the Administrator was planning, even though she didn't know what it was. This blind following that vaguely resembles nothing less than a weird somewhat child-to-a-mother attachment. It's just a Boss, just a job, why?

Because that's what it is. Mother issues. Very apparent.

We don't know anything about Pauling's past, so there's where the headcanons begin:

I'm assuming her birth mother was very neglectful and dismissing, never acknowledged her daughter's accomplishments and struggles. No matter how hard Pauling tried to become "worthy" in her eyes, it seemed to be never enough, as if she didn't even exist at all. Maybe her mother was a substance addict or something and their household wasn't safe and stable, so Pauling had to become an adult early and run away from home as a teenager and find a job to get by.

(I assume that because I believe there was a mention in the canon lore that Ms.Pauling had been working for the Administrator for long long years (don't remember exactly), indicating that she started working when she was still a minor).

So, being taken under the Administrators wing, her young wounded brain found a substitute for a very thing she was lacking, subconsciously clinging onto the Administrator as a newly mother figure, in order to "get it right this time".

Administrators Strictness, responsibility and demandingness were the most favorite qualities of a person of authority in Pauling's eyes, in contrast to the laziness, unaccountability and indifference of the environment in which she grew up. She could finally strive.

This time she would show the mother figure that she's worthy, she's important and irreplaceable; she exists. She would prove that no amount of hardship is too much for her if it means approval for the Administrator.

And the Administrator kind-of-sort-of gave Pauling this pseudo-love in return, encouraging her to sacrifice herself even more for their work. Which is at the very least unfair, and at most just predatory. Administrators "love" was conditional, in contrast with when the real motherly love Pauling unknowingly expected. Administrator was too immature for a mother figure, too much in power for a partner or a friend, yet too close for a formal boss. What is this!? Something not nice.

The Administrator doesn't love Pauling for Pauling, she loves her working qualities. And thus, Paulings subconscious guess was confirmed that "I'm only important when I'm doing the job. I AM the job."

Tying your worth to what you DO instead of what you are is a huge dangerous existential rout one could choose. But she never really knew her importance outside of her skills, so she wouldn't know.

Now imagine how actually painful that character arc was for her, when the Administrator proved herself to be unreliable and secretive, and when Pauling started to question her intentions for the first time.

"... Because I trusted you!"

"Then why are you questioning me now?"

It wasn't even the real conversation between them, just Pauling's mind torturing her.

It reminded me of the crisis of a 4-year-old when they realise that their parents aren't perfect; they don't know anything and they CAN hurt you.This shattering illusion of almighty love. When a child stops believing that the "harsh love" their mother treats them with is simply an abuse.

Wouldn't it be terrifying to realise in your 20s thar despite running for "the mother's approval" all your life, you will never truly get it. If your mother failed to provide it to you at such a young age, nothing will truly substitute that, especially now, when you're an adult, no one will love your inner child the way it was supposed to be loved.

Unless you yourself decide to take that role.

...

Realistically speaking, it's not nearly that sever with Pauling! She's happy in the environment she's in, there's lots of interests for her to explore (Guns, fights, killin'!) So many adventures every day! Even if Pauling has her inner suffering, it's not that bad aa I describe it. Her mother problems may actually be an advantage, a reason she is such a good and caring boss for the mercenaries.

I'm just edgying things down for the sake of the clearer analysis. But still...

If the Administrator will be gone and Pauling loses her life-dedicated job... What will be left? Who is Pauling once Mann Co is no more? Can she answer that?

References:

– A video that helped me better understand the Good Girl mask:

– "Lise Bourbeau's 5 soul wounds model: Injustice"

Tyrosine

Rubber Touch part 2....