Psychoanalysis - Tumblr Posts

linking the amount of work/ my grades i do directly to my view of myself was such a bad move. why tf did i do that to myself??

I’m gonna make an actual multiplayer world in minecraft Java. Dm if you wanna join !

i rlly would like it to be like the dream smp🥺

feeling called out at 2:59 on a Wednesday.

Psychological "analysis" of Rafal, imposing a few different concepts onto him. It's not a full-length analysis this time, but I remembered that I did this as a minor assignment for a psych. class a long time ago, so I decided to post it, even if it's now a little outdated and predicated on some assumptions I once held. Some bits had to be forced to fit the structure of the assignment, so don't expect it to be 100% accurate. (And, I did this before the publication of Fall.) Thoughts?

The BROTHERS vs. SELF-ACTUALIZATION: Why Rise's Plot is the Way It Is and Why the Brothers' Original Characterizations are Inextricable from that Plot

A continuation of this post. If you haven't already, skim the previous post's photos for context.

First, let's start ourselves off with this poll:

The reason why I've started with this question is because I have potential plans to start the same poll again after I publish a different post I've got in the works, and I wish to compare the before and after results, after I point out a certain few things about Adela Sader and Rafal's conduct in Monrovia.

⸻

Now that that's out of the way:

To begin with the most obvious point: Rhian and Rafal are opposites, two sides of the same coin, as the Bettelheim text repeatedly claims about the pairs of brothers in classic tales. Still, there are other possible "references" or parallels present.

(I can't quite call the perception of the twins' presences in an unrelated text "references" since, well, the text predates them. Its copyright date is 1975 and Rise was published in 2022.)

The brothers in the tales "remain in touch through magic," which already parallels how Rhian and Rafal each realized in Fall that they weren't healing, a sign of their bond/sorcery's decay, their succumbing to the figurative rot.

Rhian and Rafal also have several of the character traits described in the Bettelheim text in common with the other sets of fairy-tale brothers. And, there's the plot of Rafal leaving in Rise and both brothers encountering dangers and saving each other (yes, remember: Rhian's love saves Rafal's life—even if most of the overall action unfairly weighs on Rafal as he fixes things like he's a beast of burden).

Adela Sader, a Seer, is the "witch," to an extent, like the archetypal figure, if not a literal one, for what she represents in the conflict. She and Rafal's interaction could represent a moment of temptation, a common turning-point for better or for worse in literature in general. And Rafal's decision to try to withhold and prevent the inevitable prophecy from coming true speaks volumes about his personality and more importantly, his self-image and what he thinks of himself, as he uses the world he inhabits and its laws as a yardstick with which to evaluate himself. Yet, unfortunately for him and his best-laid plans, he's a complete individual who deserves to view himself as someone apart from existing structures, like Evil, that can prove one-sided.

I'd even go as far as saying: Evil ≠ Never because we've come to associate certain traits with Nevers that not all Evil-doers in the Woods possess. Essentially, we could think: all Nevers are Evil-doers, but not all Evil-doers are (conventional) Nevers. There are many characters throughout the series who serve as exceptions to the "rule" or whatever is considered common practice or Never "culture" and its customs. There are more connotations to being a Never than there are to being Evil. For instance, "Never" can imply "losing-streak" and "poor hygiene," while "Evil," being more detached from the Woods' subjective perceptions, doesn't immediately do the same thing as an evocative word.

(Eventually, I might post something about Rafal's genre-savviness dilemma because it could take too long to explain now and detract from the point of this particular post, which is not mainly about Adela Sader, identity, and Rafal's genre-savviness.)

Furthermore, I will discuss the twins' codependence and how each was never able to disentangle himself from the other of the pair.

Enter vague thematic ideas:

Individuality, interpreted as "free will," in this case.

The separation and "inner integration" of opposing sides (which implies both 1) coming to terms with the existence of the other, conflicting part to the whole and 2) more fundamentally, in actual psychology, reconciling yourself with yourself, knowing yourself, and feeling "complete" so to speak).

Independence and asserting oneself.

First of all, we can observe Rhian's physicality and physical desire versus Rafal's restrained nature. (I'm not saying Rafal lacks physicality at all, but he's not as open with it. He's less wild, reckless, and restless, as far as some of his outward behaviors, if not his thoughts, go.)

Hence, the more Rhian gives into romantic infatuations and the accompanying lust, the more he loses sight of true Goodness and his own humanity. His heartstrings become puppet strings. He gets more animalistic verbs and snake imagery revolving around him as time beats on, as the plot progresses, and he unravels, for lack of having achieved total "integration." And all this is by failure of being a well-adjusted individual or "sane" adult.

And who do we have to blame for stunting his growth and maturity as a person apart from others, with an identity that doesn't rely on external things?: Rafal, who is almost equally teenage-minded.

And Rhian's unwitting antagonist here is not only Rafal. There's one other force working against him: the Storian. Neither of the twins' minds were ever allowed to develop past adolescence and that fact is at least partly at fault for their downfall.

Rafal apparently kept Rhian in check—that's what we implicitly learned in Rafal's absence. The opposite could also at once be true, but that's not relevant now.

Rhian's usual Goodness started to slip and fall to the wayside, probably because he had no one to be better than, no one to show up, and therefore, no one to compare himself to. So, he had no living proof he was doing the right thing for an extended period of time.

This plays into how being the sole actor in any scenario doesn't suit either of the brothers well. Because, they lose sight of anything objective when their fellow marker or "yardstick" isn't present for them to use to see themselves with.

It's not that they don't have a sense of right or wrong; they do. It's that that very sense becomes diluted and ineffectual when the other isn't there.

They becomes skewed—first, turning into the most extreme version of themselves, more like themselves than ever. (E.g., Rafal callously took an innocent hostage and acted in cold blood various times, and Rhian continually fed his sense of vanity). And then, they eventually dropped off at some point, at the "peak" of behaving like themselves, suddenly behaving, or rather, becoming, unlike themselves, which is exactly when the problems start.

For instance, just look at the moment Rhian decides to do what Rafal would do (in Rhian's mind, congruent with his image of Rafal), when he agrees to the bet Vulcan challenges him to. He semi-consciously chooses to fight Evil with Evil, instead of doing what he himself would do, swallowing his pride and protecting his wards, despite the blow to his ego in taking the coward's way out. He doesn't exercise his immaterial authority, (verbally, instead of physically, through a tangible competition).

And generally, before he's corrupted, Rhian has trouble exercising the authority he should've had—another sign of how he never comes into his own. Nor did Rhian have the chance to come into his own, with the authorities that be (Rafal and the Storian) always, constantly hovering over him, trapping him in inaction, in the past.

The strange thing is, in Fall, Rafal admits to having conceded a lot of the time to Rhian in the past, in the face of smaller, pettier arguments, a trend which also represents his yielding to Rhian's (supposedly nonexistent) authority in the early days. That tendency seems self-contradictory of Rafal, but perhaps, even Rafal's authority is situational. He's capable of exercising it over everything and world, but not over his own brother. He can't rein Rhian, the inevitable force, the "fatal" (to invoke both death and "fate") tides of change, the Prime Mover, in.

Meanwhile, Rhian is the inverse of that. Rhian cannot exercise authority over everything and the world, but he can do so over his own brother.

Besides, Rafal, often by sorcery or by outright manhandling, manipulates and exerts his physicality over others and his environment while Rhian rarely does. And yet, Rafal (from what I remember) never so much as lays a hand on Rhian during Rise (in Fall, everything changes and escalates).

I don't yet know why this is, but I think this observation is true most of the time. At least, I haven't thought of any exceptions yet.

The working hypothesis I have is that Rhian (being the brother who chose to stay in the comfort and limited confines of the home, according to the Bettelheim text's ideas) only initially felt comfortable to do anything there. To act, and exercise his authority in an intimate, narrow, personal way.

By contrast, Rafal (the more worldly, well-traveled, and inconstant brother) wants to gain independence from their stifling "home" life, under the Storian, and, as a result, upon his return, could've felt like a stranger in his own home and with Rhian (who's also changed in his brother's absence regardless). Thus, while Rafal can certainly exercise his authority impersonally, he doesn't feel at ease exercising authority over the familiar because it could be too close for comfort, too unsettling, unsettlingly different and the same, like he can't shed the disbelonging that drove him out of the fairy-tale construct of the "home" as a safe, childhood refuge in the first place—when Rhian first questioned his very core purpose and Evil's existence.

(By the way, I came up with a pun: despite being gay, Rhian made Rafal "home-a-phobic.")

To simplify the above, Rhian is homebound, while Rafal is figuratively "homeless" and still somehow recluse-leaning, despite not having a place to seclude himself in, in the end. (During Fall, he clearly doesn't feel safe because he's overly, rightly paranoid that Rhian is out to get him, prompting him to find a "faithful soldier." Then again, we can't fully blame Rhian since Rafal created Evil Rhian by means of a self-fulfilling prophecy.)

In addition, when Rafal possibly (unconsciously?) tries to carve out a place for himself in the world (apart from Rhian and the School) that start of his action reflects a classic adolescent struggle. Due to his role at the Schools as School Master and in being Rhian's brother, exclusive of all else, he's managed to postpone this phase of discovery, or keep this rite of passage from happening. And, this phase almost wouldn't have happened, if he'd never left!

Still, beyond that, he fails at it, at "finding himself," because he doesn't sever himself from the past, even if his "old ties" indeed loosen, by way of the rot affecting the brothers' bond, when he tries to forge new ties in the present (with Hook). And, he returns to his home, to forge anew the old bond he already had instead.

Could that act of returning be a form of regression?

The timescale of all this normal human development, taking place after a century, is really what's most bizarre about it all—hazards of being an immortal.

Perhaps, he was tasked with so much to keep up with and balance that he was in something of a primitive, "survival" mode, even if it looked like he was thriving and performing his job optimally before—and maybe, just maybe, that meant his pursuit of self-discovery was set to "dormant" for so long that it hadn't registered on his radar when the process began.

I believe the brothers are approximately around "Identity vs. Role Confusion" and "Intimacy vs. Isolation" (the latter concerning Rhian in particular) and that they start in Foreclosure and end in some perverse, tragically incomplete (or prematurely cut-off in Rafal's case) form of Moratorium, which, ironically, bears similarities to the concept of death, or even the phrase memento mori, for, mortal time is limited, and we must change before our final deadline—a deadline neither of the brothers had and hadn't the need to conform to or act on, as long as their immortality remained intact.

For reference:

"Identity confusion/diffusion occurs when adolescents neither explore nor commit to any identities. Foreclosure occurs when an individual commits to an identity without exploring options. A moratorium is a state in which adolescents are actively exploring options but have not yet made commitments. As mentioned earlier, individuals who have explored different options, discovered their purpose, and have made identity commitments are in a state of identity achievement" (Source).

Also, I want to point out that Rafal never did give up "the organization of his life," mentioned in the Bettelheim text, which may've interfered with his identity formation, fulfillment, and attainment of relationships outside of his with Rhian.

He wouldn't relinquish control, ever, unless it was pried from his cold, dead hands. (And it was.)

Perhaps, he was reluctant to let go of order? But, aren't we all prone to wanting order and flattening complexity as humans anyway? It's not just his fault as an individual; it's probably our collective fault as a species.

(Does anyone see this from a different perspective? I might be sympathizing with him too much.)

Moving on, the deep, dark forest of the soul is probably a common idea that other authors, like Professor Maria Tatar, have explored, if I'm remembering that correctly. I guess we could just establish that the further Rafal ventures into the Woods, and the more he distances himself from Rhian, and the worse off he is. But, I don't think all of that is truly proportional in a traceable way, considering that lots of his worse moments, like his trial sentence, happen at the Schools.

So, why don't we just consider the whole of the Woods dark and primal, and susceptible to the "cauldron of the unconscious" and the worst urges of humanity's Evil, and call it a day?

Gavaldon would have to be the separate space then, but it's no more civil than the Woods are, as, it's still distinct yet part of the Woods all the same in its enclosure.

In fact, let's just apply the dark woods-baser urges analogy to the world like a blanket.

Back to Adela Sader now.

She prompts anxieties in Rafal that he wouldn't have held or have even seen within himself, if not for her making him aware—aware to his detriment, when he chose knowledge over blissful ignorance, accessing the "forbidden" or the irreconcilable truth of a prophecy he didn't have the ability to integrate into his current worldview without collapsing what he knew to be true, when he metaphorically opened his eyes and didn't turn away.

This decision to ask for an direct answer to the future (instead of discovering and interpreting it for himself in real time) led him further away from self-actualization. (No, I don't mean his eleventh-hour Good revelation. I mean simply him as a underdeveloped, immature human being, however mature he may seem.)

Anxiety can drive people mad and meddle with how clearly they see the world (trust me on this one), and worse, this artificial anxiety Adela Sader gave him was imposed on him because he couldn't have known any better to not seek out or reject this knowledge. No one can forget something once it's known, once they're "awakened" to it.

Lastly, if anyone wants me to probe anything more or think on any of the parts in more depth, tell me. I will also provide clarification and context, and answer any questions, if anyone would like.

What Rafal's Physical and Immaterial Coolness Could Represent

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

As a forewarning, this post is more... observational and has less of a singular, hard-hitting point to it. (Also, see Conan Gray's "Fight or Flight" song for reference, as, most of this post occurred to me in relation to that very song, if you interpret parts of it as representing Rafal's internal monologue on the subject of Rhian's substitutes during Rise.)

Also, this is a long post, so it's going under a cut.

⸻

Why is Rafal's immediate response to personal hurt avoidance of all things? Isn't that kind of a heightened, overly instinctive, clearly "uncool" reaction to have?

And yet, strangely, we still classify it as in character for him. His leaving was, arguably, the most iconic and true-to-self thing he did across both prequels. So, I want to ask: why is that?

That he just up and left seems apathetic and could be construed as part of his cold, cool nature, of course, but still—when we look at what his reaction truly is: he chose flight.

(Flight as opposed to the alternative fight, freeze, or fawn responses.)

FLIGHT! Like, can you believe it? This man, who's so headstrong and willing to stare down anything, chose flight. Let that revelation sink in. (Maybe this is more obvious than I think, but I can't believe I hadn't thought of this weird discrepancy before. Flight!)

Anyway, to explain Rafal's reaction to (potentially) having been emotionally hurt by his argument and corresponding bet with Rhian at the start, I'm going to reference a theory from an old post, as it has suddenly become relevant once again.

In short, the idea is about how Rhian's expressions of authority are personal while Rafal's are nearly always impersonal. Rhian is a master of social dynamics, considering how deftly he lies in Fall to gain favor from others and influence their views of him. And, this makes sense because he once cared so much about how he was perceived, as we take into account his original self-consciousness and his high-minded, conscionable tendencies from Rise. He is the one who wields interpersonal power as Rafal, correspondingly, wields impersonal (often more tangible and brutish) power.

If anyone would like more elaboration, here's an excerpt from that old post:

The strange thing is, in Fall, Rafal admits to having conceded a lot of the time to Rhian in the past, in the face of smaller, pettier arguments, a trend which also represents his yielding to Rhian's (supposedly nonexistent) authority in the early days. That tendency seems self-contradictory of Rafal, but perhaps, even Rafal's authority is situational. He's capable of exercising it over everything and world, but not over his own brother. He can't rein Rhian, the inevitable force, the "fatal" (to invoke both death and "fate") tides of change, the Prime Mover, in. Meanwhile, Rhian is the inverse of that. Rhian cannot exercise authority over everything and the world, but he can do so over his own brother. Besides, Rafal, often by sorcery or by outright manhandling, manipulates and exerts his physicality over others and his environment while Rhian rarely does. And yet, Rafal (from what I remember) never so much as lays a hand on Rhian during Rise (in Fall, everything changes and escalates). I don't yet know why this is, but I think this observation is true most of the time. At least, I haven't thought of any exceptions yet. The working hypothesis I have is that Rhian (being the brother who chose to stay in the comfort and limited confines of the home, according to the Bettelheim text's ideas) only initially felt comfortable to do anything there. To act, and exercise his authority in an intimate, narrow, personal way. By contrast, Rafal (the more worldly, well-traveled, and inconstant brother) wants to gain independence from their stifling "home" life, under the Storian, and, as a result, upon his return, could've felt like a stranger in his own home and with Rhian (who's also changed in his brother's absence regardless). Thus, while Rafal can certainly exercise his authority impersonally, he doesn't feel at ease exercising authority over the familiar because it could be too close for comfort, too unsettling, unsettlingly different and the same, like he can't shed the disbelonging that drove him out of the fairy-tale construct of the "home" as a safe, childhood refuge in the first place—when Rhian first questioned his very core purpose and Evil's existence.

Thus, again, Rafal's ability to wield power is, without exception (I think), always impersonal.

The closest he comes to Rhian's brand of power, which involves acting on a smaller scale or more on an individual, one-to-one level and being intimate, are his interactions with Hook and Midas. And, despite those seductive instances, Rhian is still the master of all the smaller scale exploits, like with Hephaestus and the Pirate Captain rescuing him from the Doom Room where he'd been "abandoned," whenever these acts are in fact intentional.

Yes, Rafal possibly unwittingly, by being more open with his victims, has broader appeal, but that side of him isn't all pure strategy, done with intentionality. Part of it is just how he is. Rhian, unlike his brother, strikes at something inside people that doesn't just rely on scare tactics and classic, one-dimensional intimidation. In Fall, he gains a creepiness factor and the ability to lie convincingly, importantly, without blushing.

Also, I want to commentate a little on Rafal's novel instance of blushing during Fall, which was quite unlike his usual self.

First, here's some context about physical coolness, the socially-perceived "cool factor," and how blushing can only ever be sincere and is valuable because it is involuntary from Quiet by Susan Cain:

I suspect Fall aimed to establish Rafal as more "trustworthy," and as more subject to having humility thrust upon him, than he had been in Rise, when he had previously been insurmountable.

Yet then, after that "invulnerable," unaffected precedent he set about himself, he started blushing, signaling that he suddenly began to care, and that the opposite was true of Rhian as Rhian changed throughout Fall and became more immune to his old, constant feelings of shame that originally must've formed his moral compass.

Also, Rafal gets more points towards being an actual sociopath! He just partially lost his former, low-reactive temperament when he turned "Good."

One other thought of note:

Has anyone ever headcanoned Rafal as having an avoidant attachment style? To complement that, Rhian would probably have an anxious attachment style.

Essentially, the traits of these attachment styles are Rafal and Rhian personified.

Rafal:

Rhian:

Do you think/Feel Rafal or Rhian is a psychopath? Or they just flat out monsters.

No, I do not believe either of them are psychopaths (or completely cold-blooded monsters), even if Rafal did exhibit some psychopathic or ASPD-like traits during Rise. Both brothers have/had displayed consciences at times and seemed at least capable of affective empathy. Whenever I claim a character is "psychotic" or a "psychopath," I am usually using the colloquial meaning, not diagnosing them. Also, I'm not an expert and they are fictional, so I can't really confirm anything about them. Despite all this, there is a chance the Pen robbed Rhian of his humanity, which could mean he became a psychopath or an otherwise remorseless person in Fall.

ooh okay this is interesting!!!

so i have a couple ideas for the type of person you are

1. classic class clown / jester - you rarely take yourself/your feelings seriously and you cope with whatever you’re going through by being silly and funny! it’s your defence against being vulnerable, you might not have ever really felt safe to growing up and maybe even developed the horrible idea that your feelings are invalid/a burden to other people. they’re not! you’re human and it’s okay! you at some point also may have been made the butt of the joke pretty often? like people laughed at you, and so to protect against that, you just make them laugh with you!(i.e. you were probably bullied) self deprecating humour is basically a second language for you but honestly with some of those jokes i’d actually consider therapy - all love though!

definitely the definition of: “did my trauma make me stronger? idk about that. but am i hilarious? absolutely”

2. people pleaser - you just want everyone to be happy. you hate the idea of anyone disliking you and wanna make good impressions on people! which is okay!! just don’t do it at the expense of your mental health PLS🙏🙏🙏 you’re always ready to cheer up a friend, and put on some kind of sunshine/friendly act which you feel like you can never change or abandon but you’re a multifaceted person, it is perfectly okay to feel things other than joy or silliness. you’re a super loyal friend i’d like to think, and i wish people would just match the energy you give them, but if they won’t treat you with the same respect, kindness and love you give them

they gots to GO!!

anyways!

you can be really hard on yourself, which is interesting because you wouldn’t even think of judging other people the way you pick apart yourself. i assure you, some self love and kindness actually goes a much longer way!

3. both. sending thoughts and prayers. you’re going to need them

or i could be totally wrong, but that’s the vibe i get

bonus: have you considered looking into autism or adhd

Since everyone is doing this...Judge me based on my kins! From whom I kin the most to least

Guy

Angel

Asher

Cutie

06/05/2024

my therapist that I’m in so into sent me a message on self-compassion and I keep rereading it with increasing anger and frustration (it’s utter shenanigans, will probs copy it onto here later)

he also promised me I could reach out to him whenever, when I’ve left the country post-Summer, and have therapy sessions with him online

my friend says he just wants that juicy, thick pay check my mom gives him aaaand… yea she’s right IknowIknowIknow

Remember when Freud said

~"The exclusive sexual interest felt by men for women is also a problem that needs elucidating and not a self evident fact based upon an attraction that is ultimately of a chemical nature."~

*pretends I'm in Vienna*

GOD I WANT TO GO TO THERE (Österreichische Nationalbibliothek)

I'm in my Freud era (locking myself in my room to overanalyze for days at a time)

"my child is completely fine"

ma'am your child psychoanalyzes everyone correctly

When we meet somebody whose separate tunnel reality is obviously far different from ours, we are a bit frightened and always disoriented. We tend to think they are mad, or that they are crooks trying to con us in some way, or that they are hoaxers playing a joke. Yet it is neurologically obvious that no two brains have the same genetically programmed hard wiring, the same imprints, the same conditioning, the same learning experiences. We are all living in separate realities.

Prometheus Rising

Robert Anton Wilson

The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly.

Robert Anton Wilson

"Everyone has a belief system, B.S., the trick is to learn not to take anyone's B.S. too seriously, especially your own."

Robert Anton Wilson, novelist (18th January 1932-2007)

The spectacle of heterosexuality cannot be identified with any deep amorous desire. Heterosexuality as it presents itself today is nothing but the dominant ‘normal’ form of a mutilated Eros.

Mario Mieli, Towards a Gay Communism: Elements of a Homosexual Critique

Death

Death belongs to the realm of faith.

You are right to believe you will die.

It sustains you.

If you didn't believe it, could you bear the life you have?

If we could not totally rely on the certainty that it will end, how could you bear all this?

Nevertheless, it is only a matter of faith.

And the worst thing about it is that you are not sure.