I Have Been Feeling So Similar To This, Almost Like I'm Unable To Accept It As Truth. Neil Gaiman Books

I have been feeling so similar to this, almost like I'm unable to accept it as truth. Neil Gaiman books got me through difficult times, and I just cannot fathom how such beauty can come from someone who did such awful things.

I don't want to ignore or deny the truth, but it's really difficult not to. And that sucks. There's a part of me that wants it to be false allegations, but at the same time I feel like denying it is not helping anyone. I'm not good at opposing feelings at the same time, but I'll deal with them somehow.

what a mindfuck

As a teenager, I was a huge fan of Neil Gaiman. I bought the entire Sandman graphic novel series as well as a bunch of various novels or borrowed them from other people. When MeToo started and all of these guys that we thought were wholesome were outed as sexual predators, I, like so many other Gaiman fans, were certain he'd never be one of those people.

When the news about Neil Gaiman came out, I hoped it wasn't real. I waited to say anything about it because I wanted to be sure. But after reading the various things, I am just so fucking heartbroken.

Me and my siblings and cousins watched the Cosby Show reruns when we were kids/teens so when the shit about Cosby being a rapist came out I was like FFS. Then other guys like Kevin Spacey that I admired, etc etc. But I was able to move on/deal with it/etc.

Still, I thought, not Neil Gaiman, not him. He's just too cool/nice. I thought, of all the guys out there, Gaiman would have to be at the bottom of the list. I was so fucking certain of it, so to have to accept that ugliness about a man I thought was beautiful was an especially bitter pill.

So many of his books/graphic novels were beautiful and got me through some really hard times, and there were times when i was just astounded by this brilliant line or paragraph or idea of Gaiman's and wishing I was more like him.

Definitely not the case anymore, and if someone like Neil Gaiman can be like that, then it honestly makes me wonder what sorts of ugliness lurk in people that I think are beautiful (I mean beautiful in a mental/emotional/artistic way, not physically) and it's left me shaken in my faith in people.

EDIT - I wrote the OP fresh, without any editing so I know it comes across as rambly but I just had to get it out, and I did. Now that I've had more time to think, I can articulate myself a little better.

No one is perfect. We're all flawed creatures, but a lot of men manage to not have 'assaults/coerces/disrespects women/is a creep' as one of their character flaws and I sincerely thought that Neil Gaiman would be one of those people. With other people I liked who were outed for shitty behavior, there's always a certain level of disappointment but with Gaiman it just feels more personal even though we never met one another. I sincerely, truly, honestly expected and thought better of him.

Every now and again I get reminded that the normal amount of daily pain is zero, and that still blows my mind every time... You have days without pain????

If you steal art, Goosetarion will come to keep you awake at night by honking exactly when you're about to fall asleep.

Filled the Redbubble report

I hope for the best cause I had not one but TWO shops selling my Goostarion design.

The same one

If you see this design around could you please tell me? I didn't give my consent to be used for profit

New to fanfic writing. Input plz?

I have some ideas to put into writing (Mainly BG3, not sure yet on character choice, but there will definitely be some Gale Romance), but I don't really know how ao3 works with the tags and ratings, and all that stuff,, and trying to figure it out is overwhelming (Gotta love AuDHD).

Anyone out there have like an AO3 handbook or want to help an aspiring writer in need?

You know what?

I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.

I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)

I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.

I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.

I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.

I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.

I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.

I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.

I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.

I need access to these more easily, so my brainfogged brain is reminded of them more often and I might actually use these some day!

I'm starting a collection