Kili And Fili Noticing How Much Bilbo Gets Annoyed By Being Called The Wrong Name, So Gradually The Names

Kili and Fili noticing how much Bilbo gets annoyed by being called the wrong name, so gradually the names get worse

"Mr Boggins, could you help me?"

"Mr Blobbins have you seen that?" "For the last time, it's Baggins"

"Look Mister Blubbers!" "Stop it Fili"

"Where is Mister Bubbles?"

"Guys I found Mr Blueberries." "You're not even trying anymore"

"What do you mean, Mr Bumblebee?"

Bonus:

Bilbo: "please Kili and Fili you can call me Bilbo"

Kili: "oh okay Beelord"

Fili: "If you thinks so Beano"

Bilbo: "Yavanna have mercy"

Bonus 2:

"Good morning Kidleaf, have you slept well?"

"Yes very well Uncle Beepboop"

"What do you want for breakfast Fungi?"

"Pancakes please, Uncle Bamboo"

I’m just picturing bilbo talking about courting habit of hobbits to the company (maybe ori was asking questions idk) and he off handily mentions that hobbits court via food.

Cue the company wondering that if them eating his entire pantry and him letting them means something. This increases into an argument wether over whose the better dwarf. (Not that any of them are planning on doing anything but they were trying to figure out how to let Bilbo down and it spiralled into who was the best)

“I have better hair”

“I’m a BETTER FIGHTER”

“Well I can cook, Hobbits like food and lots of it.”

Thorin is silently stewing but can’t say anything. That is until Gandalf says that the courting only counts if the hobbit themselves cooks the food for you and serves you. (He thinks the drama is hilarious and wanted more entertainment)

The entire company then remembers that only only person he technically served was Thorin with the soup he cooked.

This only makes the fighting worse, and makes Thorin more smug. Fili and Kili are outraged

“We’re both royalty and younger and more attractive. What does uncle have that we don’t”

But they use this against him when he’s being rude to bilbo “oh be careful uncle, he might trade you in for a better model”

Balin is overjoyed because bilbo is persuasive and politically smart and doesn’t like gold. Dwalin doesn’t know whether to clown on Thorin or be scared over his future as a royal guard because bilbo is somehow worse than Thorin when it comes to death defining stunts.

The rest of the company still argues up until Thorin and bilbos wedding whether or not bilbo was counting them as well. They also make bets because or course they do.

Gandalf takes great, great pleasure in claiming credit for bringing the couple together but honestly he was just looking for entertainment.

Мне не хватает часов в сутках, нужно минимум 30, потому что скоро будет вечер, а я только недавно встала с кровати

Я даже не знаю что написать, они просто смотрят на меня выжидающе, будто я скажу сейчас что-то очень нелепое