Ok Ok So The Thing Is.

Ok ok so the thing is.

Thing #526 I find frustrating about how a lot of people write Chuuya is.

He, canonically, has a shit ton of insecurities and self-worth issues that are left unresolved.

BUT he doesn't turn them over in his head all the time. He doesn't wallow in self-pity. That's Dazai's thing. Dazai will pick at every inner scar he has. Chuuya? Chuuya will stuff every insecurity and doubt he has into a little box and bury it 200 feet under cause he doesn't wanna deal with it, and doesn't notice when that box spills over into his actions. The only time he unearths that box is when someone from the outside forces him to. And that's especially true for 22-year-old Chuuya.

And he sure as hell doesn't let himself care about what Dazai thinks of him, or if he matters to Dazai more than someone else in his life. What Dazai does or does not think about him isn't really worth his time. It's what Chuuya thinks of himself that matters to him.

PREACH

You tell her Neku

I don't know how people have suddenly decided Chuuya is a trusting person, like sir, have we read the same Manga/Light Novels or was Chuuya never telling the Sheep about his past or assuming the Flags were gonna kill him when he found out they worked for Mori part of his trusting personality?

Like, what's more interesting, Dazai being an unstrustworthy manipulative asshole and Chuuya still trusting him because of a character flaw? or

Dazai being an untrustworthy manipulative asshole and Chuuya, a person who has never relied on anyone having his back, like, ever, for some inexplicable reason extending that trust to him? Someone more demon than person? Dazai would lose his fucking shit.

HC post-neo Neku would often get these 'psychic episodes' alongside his ptsd where he'll release some of his supressed esp powers that he brought back from his time in Shinjuku. Often small, non-lethal shockwaves that can knock items or even people back, psychokinesis that goes out of control and causes small items to fling themselves off to the floor, during especially severe ones he can even start breaking nearby glasses or anything he happens to be focusing on at the time, they'll just explode without warning

Because of this, he has to move out from his estranged parents' apartment and Shiki offers her own apartment for him because 1.) Out of all the people he knows and trusts, she has the financial backing for all the damage he might cause in her flat and aids him in his professional treatment 2.) He admits she has the most soothing vibes out of all the others when his sync acts up and it greatly helps him when he needs to calm down. Ofc, she also happens to be the person he hates hurting the most.

And indeed, she ends up with some bruises and cuts caused by his occassional power incontinence which he greatly feels guilty over everytime. At one point, he's even afraid to cuddle with her in bed after a nightmare where he just crushed her in his sleep. Eventhough being extra close to her like that usually reduce his chances of nightmares because of the vibes she gives off, and thus he'll less likely to wake up with everything in the room being trashed. The solution ends up being allowing him to go to sleep first, and she'll sneak up to him quietly, and then wake up before he does (which she often does as per canon)

I'm late at posting this but happy birthday Nakahara Chuuya 🥳

i love him sm 😭