276 posts
Oopsexcuseme - Untitled - Tumblr Blog
Bruno Leydet
Got my shoes on and I'm ready for anything!
Michael Costello
Man with Mirror, 2018
Yeah buddy; that's how ya do it!
The Library Bathroom
Darry’s Tale
Oldest is Darrel, in the rear. He’s 20, already a man, taking on the full responsibility of caring for his brothers now that his folks are
gone. Two jobs and a whole mess of trouble dealing with Pony and Soda leave Darry on a tight string, and he’s liable to blow his lid
and let off a hell of a lot of steam if you ever piss him off good enough. He’s the man of the house, and that means he’s gotta be the
straight-arrow, the ‘serious one.’ No more laughing at fart jokes or his brothers being idiots; no more hangin’ with the gang; the only
reason he’s so buff nowadays is for his job roofing houses.
Darry’s the big guy for sure—captain of the football team in high school, real popular with the ol’ gang, who call him ‘Muscles’ and
‘Superman.’ Big in a lot of ways: those size 15 feet that are always so hard to find shoes for; those bulgin’ biceps and broad
shoulders; big jaw-line; big working man’s hands, bronzed and calloused. Hell, even what he’s got packed away in the front of his
underpants (classic white boxers just like Dad wore ‘em, unless he’s workin’ out, then it’s a white jock with thick red-and-blue-
stitched waistband). He’s Mister Authority, but that role doesn’t give him a lot of joy. He’s always tense, serious, stressed-out; he
might not ever admit it, but deep down you know he’s gotta miss just being a dude. He sees his brothers goin’ out and hanging with
the guys—no accountability to the world, grinning wide—and he misses it, almost as much as he misses his Mom and Pop.
Those big feet of his in wore-out sneakers, or a weathered pair of boots. Darry walking around the house in the mornings in nothin’
but threadbare white ankle socks, you can practically see his dirty soles through ‘em. A hole on the right big toe; he never buys
anything new for himself, any cash for clothes goes to those weed-stocks of brothers he’s got.
Damn, I ramble on don’t I? Let’s get to the real down and dirty business of it all—Darrel’s a pooper and a pisser just like every other
male on the planet. Even he’s gotta pop a squat on the porcelain throne to make his deposit. He’s definitely a bi-daily kinda guy, and
combined with his heavy meat-and-wheat bread diet, that adds up to some thick, heavy dumps!
Hot, sticky day roofing at the construction site. Sun’s just killin’ him up on that flat, exposed surface. He’s sweated right through his
t-shirt and it drips from his brow and trails down his arms. Darry’s been drinkin’ a canteen of water an hour, and about an hour after
lunch break he’ll always climb down from the tiling and stomp off towards the plastic yellow portajohns by the ditch. It’s like
clockwork.
“Takin’ a break, boss!” Darrel yells at the pot-bellied fellow overseeing things, and he’ll understand what Darry—his star
employee—means, no doubt grinning under his mustache thinking of that tall, tanned workin’ stud letting something like a dump
take him away from work time.
Darry stomps over to the johns, picking up the pace the closer he gets. You gotta know the feeling—the closer you get to your goal,
the heavier and more urgent the weight you’re carrying seems to feel. Right as he’s opening the door he rips a thick, wet one his
damp shorts soakin’ it up and stickin’ the stink right back at him. Then he’s inside the portajohn.
He fumbles with his belt, buckle clinking. Involuntarily, Darry gives a little groan; damn he’s gotta go! Down he tugs his dirty jeans,
next his boxers. They bunch up around his ankles and then he’s lowering his ass over the plastic john, sweaty, hairy thighs spreading
over the seat and sticking to it.
He’s pushin’ and gruntin’ on the can, sweat building over his face as his eyes scrunch. Nostrils flare, those big-booted feet
spreeeaaaddd wide. Hot, hairy, wet butthole stretching, aching, moving… a mammoth of a turd, thick and dark and heavy. He’s red-faced as that monster log slowly drops down between his cheeks and into the awaiting port o’ plastic…and after that’s done
a whole mess of thick, heavy shit that had been givin’ him a belly ache for the last half-hour. Each wave is a grunt, or a cuss, or a drop
of sweat down the bridge of his nose. His cockhead spurts heavy yellow piss down into the bowl. Thick, heavy manstink bellows up
from between his spread legs, they can probably hear him and smell him from the site.
Heaving breath, feeling that sweaty mess between his cheeks. He wipes using cheap thin paper that rips and makes his fingers smell.
It’s hot and heavy in the portajohn and Darry’s still sweaty as he gets up and works those damp boxers back up his legs, already
wedging back in between his hairy cheeks to fester as he pulls his jeans up to join ‘em. No running water to wash that monument
away. He glances behind him at the brown pile already attractin’ flies; P.U. man! What’d you ever eat to get that build-up?
Then he’s out the door, back into the sun and the heat and the work, swaggering back over to the housing site, givin’ his ass a quick
tug to readjust those sweaty boxers…no doubt he’ll have a new stain to wash out when he gets home.
A normal occurring bodily function but this is really H@T!
OMG; that is f*cking hot!
Oh well; it was a nice day and he got some sun.
Hey guys look; we all forgot to take out socks off again!!!
"Oh I see you have your hands full; my bad! I'll come back later!"
would be polite knock before just opening the door
King of the Shitter
Finn sat alone in the restroom, pants down around his ankles, as he waited for any movement. His bowels had been slightly backed up and the young man had been unable to go for around three days. Now Finn might not look it with his tall, thin frame and handsome face with blue eyes and black hair, but he generally was able to poop every day, so this little back up was cause for some concern. The sound of footsteps approaching caught his attention, someone entered the stall to his right and locked the door. The stranger pulled down his pants and there was a small thud as they mounted the bowl. Finn looked down to take a glimpse of the shoes of his neighbor, recognizing the baseball shoes of one of his college friends, Cade. Cade must have also recognized Finn’s typical work boots, “Hey Finn, you next door?”
“Yeah Cade.” Finn responded, he was used to talking while shitting, it happened all the time when he was in high school. Cade chuckled, “Well, let me tell you, I’ve been needing this shit for a while, was turtleheading as I was making my way over…Plop…aahh man, this will be bigger than I thought. That felt like a brick...hold on...here’s another...Plop...ohhh, that felt better.”
Cade’s commentary continued as plops, splashes, and thuds kept sounding from the bowl, “So, I went out with this girl last night and...Plop...she was a nice nice gal. Talking a total ten, brunette with wonderful...Ploosh...green eyes. Man, I’m shitting up a storm in here, wonder what I ate that makes me produce steel logs.”
“New diet?” Finn suggested as he still couldn’t feel any movement from his bowels. The sounds of the turds leaving his neighbor’s body and the sighs of satisfaction only made Finn want to go more. Cade chuckled, “Could be, I know I have been eating more protein...Braaap...Oh speaking of which, here it is…”
*Braaap* *Plop* *Ploosh* *Braaap* *Braaap* *Plop* *Plop* *Braaap*
“Woohoo man, that was a rush, what a total relief! Feels like I just lost five pounds...aahh shit...here comes round two…”
*PPFFFTTTT* *SQHSQHHSSHQSH* Braaap* *BBRRRR* *BBBBRRRRRR* SQSHSQSHHHSQSHH* *Plop* *Ploosh* *Plop* *Braaap* *PPFFTTTT*
“Whew, that’s what I’m talking about!” Cade exclaimed as he proceeded to pull off some toilet paper. Finn heard the sound of the other man cleaning his ass, Cade stood up and flushed the toilet, “Man, I needed that, feels like I lost ten pounds.”
The door unlocked and the baseball player went to the sinks. Finn stood up himself, no movement from his bowels so what was the point. Walking out of his stall, Finn washed his hands beside Cade, Cade gave another sigh of relief, “Nothin’ better than that feeling, anyway, I will see you around Finn.”
Finn watched as his friend left the restroom, slowly following afterwards before making his way towards his dorm. The heaviness in his gut wasn’t fading anytime soon and maybe the walk would help get a few things moving on their own.
But the walk did nothing to help his backed up bowels, the young man sat on his bed, an arm wrapped around his stomach as it gurgled and cramped. The dorm room door opened and one of his roommates, Sid, came walking into the room. Sid’s brown eyes studied Finn, worry etched in every feature, before he sat on the bottom bunk bed across from his roommate. Sid tilted his head, “Are you feeling alright Finn?”
“Naw Sid, I’m a bit backed up is all.” Finn answered as another cramp tore through his midsection. How the young man would have just loved to be able to sit on the toilet, give one push, and have an absolute monster of a dump. Sid reached over and patted his friend’s shoulder, “I have a solution, but I am not doing it for you.”
“What is it?” Finn asked, curiosity getting the better of him. Sid walked into the dorm’s bathroom before returning with a small box, he pulled out a torpedo-shaped object, “It’s a suppository, you just got to insert it into your ass and it should clear everything right up.”
“I have to insert that into my ass?” Finn reiterated as a question. He was about to object to the solution before another cramp clawed through his stomach. Finn hissed before grabbing the device, “All right, I am doing it.”
“Just remember to leave it in for fifteen minutes after you insert it.” Sid said with a small chuckle as Finn went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. The young man dropped his pants before positioning himself in front of the mirror, trying to get a good angle in order to see his ass. Once he could spot where his asshole was, Finn gently inserted the device. It felt weird to have something in his rectum, but he managed to get it a good one inch in like the instructions said. Pulling up his pants and washing his hands, the young man exited the bathroom and sat back on his bed. Sid gave him a small smile, “Able to get it in?”
“Yes, felt weird, but it’s in.” Finn replied. SId nodded, “Well, like I said, wait fifteen minutes for it to work and everything should be right as rain.”
Finn nodded back and the two of them began to shoot the breeze as the time ticked down on the clock. It was around seven minutes in when Finn felt his stomach cramp suddenly, the stagnant mass inside of him moved a little. A few minutes later, the young man’s load went from not moving to getting closer to the exit with each second. The pressure in his gut built and soon Finn’s ass was beginning to sweat, his stomach contractions were getting stronger, and his need was beginning to grow more urgent with each passing moment. Eventually, at the ten minute mark, Finn voiced his need, “I gotta take a shit, I gotta poop Sid, I can’t…can’t hold it much longer.”
“Just a few minutes longer,” Sid replied as he patted his friend’s shoulder, “How about you give a few farts? It might relieve the pressure a bit.”
Finn gave a small nod before meaning over on his left side, there was a small puff of air as he released a small fart. The two guys shared a quiet chuckle before Finn passed another airy puff of a fart. The pressure in his gut did decrease a bit with each pass of gas, but the third fart was a little different, being not as long and of a higher pitch. Finn gave a small gulp before sitting back down and whimpering as his stomach clenched harder, “It worked a little, but now I am near turtleheading, Sid I need to go now.”
“Sorry dude, you have around two more minutes left.” Sid responded with sympathy dripping from his voice. Finn whimpered once more as his gut rolled and cramped with each passing second, the feeling of a large log pressing against his asshole, which he had clenched tightly shut. Another cramp sent his load pressing against his closeup asshole almost like a battering ram, the young man gave another whimper in both pain and desperation, “Sid, the suppository worked, please, I gotta shit.”
“Just one more minute.” Sid responded as he got up and sat next to Finn, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. Another vicious cramp tore through Finn’s midsection, the muscles holding his anus shut were getting tired of having to hold back what needed to be let out. Finally, after what felt like hours, SId patted his back, “Fifteen minutes are up, go take that shit Finn.”
You didn’t have to tell Finn twice, he bolted up from his bed and practically ran to the dorm bathroom, closing the door behind him. Not even bothering with the lock, his hands went desperately to his pants and somehow managed to undo them, pulling them to his ankles. Finally, the young man was able to mount his snow-white buttocks on the porcelain seat of the toilet, the cold feeling on the smooth skin of his rear caused him to give a push in reflex. His anus domed open as a massive, wide, hard turd poked its way out and crackled audibly into the bowl. Finn couldn’t help but release a moan of pleasure at the feeling of all the waste finally leaving his body, it didn’t help that it was also pressing on his prostate. The turd eventually tapered to an end and dropped into the bowl with an audible plop, his anus was forced open once more as a turd of a similar size churned out to join its sibling. This continued for a while, Finn’s stomach churned out thick, long, firm logs that splashed and plopped each time they dropped. Sweat beaded on his forehead as the young man gave small grunts to keep some of the larger logs on their way, his asshole which had to be forced closed was now continually forced open by the steady flow of shit. But eventually his bowels were able to take over and the rest of his load continued to noisily crackle and drop into the toilet. The door to the dorm opened and he heard the sound of his other roommate, Jason, saying, “Hey where’s Finn?”
“In the bathroom, had to take a shit, but was constipated. Had to give him a suppository.” Sid answered. The dorm bathroom door opened and Jason peered in, “Dude, sounds like you’re dropping concrete into the toilet!”
“Well, this was very much necessary. This is three days worth of shit.” Finn answered with a chuckle as one last large turd dropped into the toilet, its sound muffled by all the other logs. The young man gave a sigh of relief, “And it is all done.”
“Mind if we catch a look?” Jason asked.
“Yeah I want to see the result of my help.” Sid replied as he rushed to the bathroom door. Finn shook his head as he rose in order to give himself and his roommates a glimpse into the bowl. There were around one dozen turds, all the same length with some being as wide as a forearm, and stacked one on top of the other. Sid whistled, “That’s the largest dump I’ve ever seen.”
“Same here.” Sid added in disbelief, “You should be called the King of the Shitter of all that. Might want to give a flush so as not to break the toilet.”
Finn gave a small smirk as he hit the flush, the toilet gave a choked sort of sound before managing to flush away all of the waste inside of it. Finn sat back down and proceeded to pull off some toilet paper, “Would you mind giving me privacy while I clean myself up?”
“Of course, your highness.” Sid answered as the two guys closed the door. Finn chuckled at his new nickname as he wiped between his two ass cheeks. It didn’t take much, and, with another sigh of relief, Finn stood up and redid his pants. He washed his hands before rejoining his roommates, lighthearted joking and teasing ensuing.
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For those that want to see what Finn would have looked like while on the toilet.
Finn's doppelgänger – @theseguysgottago on Tumblr
Gettin some sun and havin some fun; releasing some fudge and maybe gettin a pudge!
Great male bonding and vulnerability
for the last thirty years ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Wanna a Sip?