You Drew Stars Around My Scars

You drew stars around my scars

Warning- Self Harm, overthinking

pairing- Bangchan x reader

Having Chan as your boyfriend meant getting random comforting hugs throughout the day. He made you feel appreciated and loved. He don't hesitate to comfort you, so why are you afraid of his reaction towards the news you're going to tell him?

Ever since you were 15 you began cutting yourself. At first you thought it was harmless, it was only an one time thing. However, you often found yourself cutting in order to cope up with your thoughts and feelings. You never really stopped cutting, all you did was take breaks and come back to it. At one point it felt like you needed to do it in order to keep up with the events taking place in your life.

However, when you met Chan you slowly found yourself leaning less towards cutting yourself and more towards actually expressing your feelings. But that doesn't mean your scar aren't still there. They were there right on your thighs. Even though you have stopped cutting yourself, you still can't seem to let go of those scars, it felt like you had an emotional bonding with them. Moreover, you never really showed your scars to anyone, too afraid to lose them over such a thing. You knew Chan was not going to have a toxic reaction but too many "what if's" questions slowly filled your head.

A hand on your thigh distracted you from your thoughts. "You zoned out, are you okay?" Chan asked you while moving his hand swiftly up and down your thigh as a sign of comfort. "I have something to tell you." You spoke but as you saw Chan's eyes widen, you clarified "we are not break up, don't worry."

You sat up from the bed and looked into Chan's curious eyes. "You know what, it will be easier if I just show it to you." you said as you hesitantly pulled your shorts upwards, exposing the scars. Just as you did that, your head immediately shot up to see Chan's reaction. The gentlemen's eyes turned from curiosity to empathy. He intertwined your hand into his, "I'm sorry" he said as he pulled you into a hug. You pulled away from the hug in confusion "Why are you sorry?". "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you when this happened, I knew how it feels and I whish you never have to be alone again."

As you were about to speak, Chan interrupted you by picking up a pen. He started drawing rough stars around your faded scars. "What's this for?" "I'm just doing this to make sure you know you're loved." Chan's reply immediately melted your heart and you couldn't help but pull him into a hug. You said, "You know, I love you so much." "Yeah I know that." His response made you lightly hit his shoulder ,"Don't get too cocky, babe." Chan laughed at your reaction. "Of course I love you, y/n."

Slow Down - [ Bang Chan ]

🎸 SYNOPSIS : There was something about the way he looked at you that made you squeeze your thighs together, your focus faltering as you did his eye makeup. However, your predicament might get a solution when you overhear a conversation you weren't supposed to.

GENRE : smut, strangers to potential lovers

PAIRING : bang chan × fem!reader

CONTENT WARNING : smut (warnings under the cut!), mature language, 3RACHA (yes that is a warning)

WORD COUNT : 2K

AUTHOR'S NOTE : (Part of my Stray Kids × Chase Atlantic series special for their 6th anniversary) Bang Chan!!! I still remember the first time I freaked out over his look in the Thunderous MV (my first one) and I was like holy shit 😭. He soon became one of my biases since I started with 3RACHA first before I learnt about the other members. Despite not watching his lives when they were live, Chan's room holds a special place in my heart. The best leader ♡.

minors dni. if you click read, you agree to nsfw content

SMUT WARNING : no clear dom/sub dynamics, protected sex, piv, fingering, light oral (f receiving), big dick chan agenda, mirror sex, nicknames (baby girl, baby, good girl), reader calls chan as channie, semi public sex? (they're in a changing room but no one else is there), light hair pulling, orgasm denial

The bass was booming outside of the changing room you were currently in, doing makeup for your favorite band. People were so hyped up for the upcoming 3RACHA performance and you weren't any better.

“Y/n, that's purple — !” Han Jisung yelped, moving away from the cushion pad you were holding in your hand, now dabbed with purple powder.

“Oh my — I'm so sorry Jisung. I'm so out of it today.” You blushed out of embarrassment, fumbling with your things as you got the correct cosmetic product and applied it on him. Your jitters were most certainly caused by the other male in the room, who was currently watching you with a glinting his eyes. Changbin was busy on his phone so you knew to whom the gaze belonged to without even turning around.

Bang Chan.

Or Chris. That was how he introduced himself to you the very first time you met him almost a year ago. Hi, my name's Chris, are you our new makeup artist? Those words played in your head a lot. His voice was so melodic, and his accent only made the feelings inside you intensify. And that was all before you saw what he meant by Chris. He was a completely different man on stage. The first time you saw him perform, you had to excuse yourself to the restroom because your face instantly burned red.

Ever since then, your imagination only grew worse. You dreamed endless nights of him, of how wonderful it would be if he were with you, how he would be in bed. God, just thinking about how his hands could make you see more stars than in the night sky was enough to almost make you drop the brush in your hand.

For this particular performance, held in the elusive 5-STAR club, they were going all out. Which meant Chan dressed in a way that nearly made you faint when you walked into the room an hour ago. Ever since then, he had his sight locked on you as you tried to focus on Jisung, who wasn't making things any easier with how hyper he could get before a show. You swallowed as the man in front of you got up and left, allowing the last of their trio to take a seat in front of you.

“Excited?” You asked him as you started his makeup, trying to make small talk so you could make yourself believe that was the reason he was looking at you like that. Sometimes, you felt as if Chan could read your thoughts, as if a speech bubble hung over your head, dictating your most unholy secrets to him.

“Yeah.” He smiled, dimples on full display that nearly made you swoon. How could he be so charming and cute and then switch to hot and sexy the next minute? “There's so many people who came to see us. I never thought that it would happen.”

You smiled. Another thing about Chan. He was so humble, it had to be illegal. You cupped his jaw so would stay still. “You three are crazy good. You should be proud of yourself.”

“I am.” He replied cheekily, making you chuckle. “Will you stay and watch the show?”

“As always.”

He cracked a wide grin again. “Great. I need my number one watching me.”

His words made your heart stutter, making you almost mess up (again). You avoided the fact that your face was as red as a tomato and continued your job, still talking with him although the intrusive thoughts inside you were screaming to kiss him. Your sane side, however, took over and made sure you didn't attack him and ruin the makeup you had just put on him. He continued to look at you, making you squeeze your thighs together as you tried to play placate the thought of him bending you over the vanity and fucking you.

You were done quicker than you hoped and excused yourself to wash your hands. After spending an abnormal amount of soap to get rid of the purple you accidently almost used, you walked back to their changing room, only to stop in your tracks at the door because of the ongoing conversation on the other side.

“It's driving me crazy!”

“Chan, you've been saying that for a year now.”

“Does she not realize what she's doing? —”

“Her job?”

“Shut up Han. The only thing I want to do to her is bend her over in front of that fucking mirror and —”

“Geez, you're hornier than me.”

You heard footsteps coming closer to the door, so you panicked and ran down the corridor and went into the main club. Your heart was racing along with your mind. Did he want the same thing as you? Goosebumps covered your skin when you thought of the possibility of Chan having the same thoughts as you. You were probably hallucinating (could you hallucinate hearing a person?) and way over your head but a ridiculous idea started to form in your head as the trio took the stage, eliciting roars of excitement through the audience that were awaiting their performance.

They played a few of their own songs as well as your personal favorites — Chase Atlantic covers. Their vibes suited well with the songs and you were addicted to the way Chan sang — you're buried in the pillow yeah you're so loud — from Slow Down. The way he held the mic, sweat glistening on his face and sometimes how it would seem like he looked around for someone and then settled his focus on you made you squirm in the place you were standing.

After the performance, you quickly ducked back into their changing rooms, under the pretense of packing away your stuff but in actuality, you were hoping for a small miracle. Said miracle walked into the room moments later, his presence created an aura you've never felt before.

“Nice work out there.” You said with a smile, putting the makeup brushes in your bag.

“You think so?” Chan came closer to you, you felt his warm breath hitting your shoulder, the heat emitting from his skin sent shivers down your spine. You looked at him through the mirror in front of you, his signature smile was on his face but there was something else you couldn't quite distinguish. Something akin to a blaze burning beneath the kindness of his words. “The crowd was amazing.”

“They were.” You smiled again, heart thudding in your chest when you felt him brush against you. “Where's Jisung and Changbin?”

“Them? Oh, they disappeared after the performance. Probably getting some drinks.”

“So why are you here?”

“I have something much more interesting to do than drinks.”

You chuckled. “Is that so?” You turned around, chest flush against his as you looked him in the eyes, “would that something have to do with me bent over the vanity?”

Your teasing worked perfectly, a red hue spreading across his cheeks, his smile dropped and morphed into surprise. “You —”

“I'm not opposed to it.”

He blinked. “You're… not?” He shifted, moving closer to you. His tone was in stark juxtaposition to the way his hands were clenched in a fist, like he was controlling himself. “Y/n… don't play with me.”

“I'm not playing.” He let out a shaky exhale. “I want this, Channie, please?”

The nickname was his breaking point. He brushed aside the hair falling into your jaws before he cupped your cheek and sealed your lips together in a searing kiss, full of passion and a need to be as close together as possible. Your hands gripped the edge of the vanity as he pushed you onto further, his tongue pushing against your mouth for entrance, which you gladly granted, allowing him to explore your mouth. His free hand moved up and down your back a couple times before stopping at the side of your breast. He had a moment of hesitation before he rolled his thumb over your hardening nipple, making you moan into his mouth. He seemed to have liked that response because he did it again, a little more harshly. He pulled away from your lips when you squeezed your thighs together.

He tutted. “Spread those legs for me, baby girl.” You swallowed and did as he said, parting your legs for his hand to dive between them and rub your core over the fabric of your jeans. You bit your lip, eyes fluttering close at the sensation.

“Touch me Channie, please.”

Moments later, your pants were on the floor and your head was thrown back as his fingers reached deep inside you. “Feel good baby?”

“S-So good, Channie, don't stop —” You moaned, back arching as another digit entered you, scissoring you open.

“Gotta stretch you properly. Such a tight little pussy. So wet.” He curled his fingers at that one spit that made you see stars. Your reaction only made him brush his fingers against that spot again and again, making the band in your belly tighten.

Hearing those filthy words come from his mouth turned you on even more. “All for you.”

“All for me?” He smirked, pumping his fingers a few more times before pulling them out and popping them into his mouth. “So sweet.” You whined at the emptiness and your ruined orgasm. He moved away slightly. “Turn over baby. Wanna see that ass.” You obliged, turning around so you were bent over the vanity, facing the mirror. You could see him in the reflection, pupils blown with lust. He dropped to his knees, his warm breath hitting your core. He licked a stripe along your folds before diving in with his tongue, pulling away yet again when you were close.

“Wanna cum.”

“You will cum baby girl.” He stood up again. “Around my cock.” You heard his pants drop, the buckle hitting the floor with a clank and the sound of a foil being torn open. You couldn't exactly see his dick as he slid the condom on, but you moaned loudly as he rubbed the tip against your folds.

“Don't tease.” You whined as he prodded his cock at your entrance.

“Whatever you say.” He laughed and pushed the tip in. Your mouth dropped open, sounds of pleasure freely spilling from your mouth as he kept inching in.

“You're so b-big.” You felt impossibly full as he bottomed out, a grunt coming from behind you as he waited for both of you to adjust to the feeling. His cock was kissing your cervix already, you felt like you could come just like that. “M-Move, please —”

He nodded and slowly pulled back and snapped his hips forward. “So tight.” He groaned as he repeated the motion again and again. You were long gone already, his dick brushing against all the sweet spots inside you that made your toes curl. “Eyes up. I want you to watch.” He pulled your head up by your hair, lightly tugging at it so you could see your reflection in the mirror. You clenched around him the moment he did that, making him groan and move faster.

“Chan — fuck, so big —” You whimpered, watching yourself get fucked in the changing room, where anyone could walk in and see yourself getting split open by Chan.

“You have — no idea, how long I've been waiting for this.” He pulled out completely before slamming back inside, making you scream out his name. “Fucking you over the the next surface. God, you've been driving me crazy. Swinging that ass around. It's mine, got it?”

“Y-Yours.”

“Good girl.” He let go of your hair and instead reached between your legs to find your clit, rubbing harsh circles over it.

“T-Too much. Channie — please, ‘m gonna cum —”

“Cum for me baby.” His harsh thrusts, the stimulation on your clit and you watching everything from the mirror — it all became too much. Fireworks lit up inside you as you came all over his cock, clenching hard as he still moved inside you. Overstimulation sent jolts throughout your body. “Like a fucking vice.” He grunted, before you felt his seed fill the condom. He pulled out and discarded the condom, helping you stand up properly and handed you a water bottle from a nearby table. “I hope that was okay.” Goddamn he really did have a switch inside him.

“Okay? Fuck, Chan that was amazing.”

“Amazing enough to let me fuck you after all my shows?”

“Definitely.”

©hanjsquokka | copying, translating or republishing my work is strictly prohibited

sleepy cramps | b.c.

summary: your cramps wake you up but channie is there to help.

wc: 1.1k

warnings: i tried to keep it gender neutral, however!! periods and cramps are mentions so read at your own risk.

a/n: omg ash knows how to post at a normal time when she's not sleep deprived *gasp* crazy right? you guys know the drill not proof read too many pet names blah blah. i have realized that i apparently need alot of comfort in my life because that is all i write LMAO. anyway! i hope you guys enjoy and as always, drink water, eat something, and take ur meds. <3

p.s. pls send me some requests i really wanna try and branch out but i have no ideas, okay love u bye. <3

my library

(pictures are not mine! credit to owners!)

“baby?” you hear a familiar aussie voice call out. “i’m home!” you hear him take off his shoes and set his bag down. “baby?” he yells once more, keys jingling as he places them on a hook by the door.

you let out a grunt, hoping to signal to him where you were. you were currently bundled up half asleep in your shared bed, facing the door. you were exhausted from the day and your period, and barely keeping your eyes open. 

the hall light flicks on before a figure appears in the doorway. you lift up your head a bit, giving him a sleepy smile before settling back into your warm cocoon of soft blankets and plushies.

he smiles before making his way to the side of bed, squatting down to eye level with you. he lifts his hand, lightly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “hi pretty.” your cheeks warm.

“hi bub.” you mumble. “you sleepy bug?” he asks softly. you nod, a yawn escaping you as if emphasizing your drowsiness.

he smiles, leaning forward to place a soft kiss to your forehead. “alright bub, give me 10 minutes to get ready for bed then i’ll come lay down okay?” you nod once more, sleepy smile still present on your face.

he moves,  placing a kiss on your lips before standing to his full height. “i’ll be right back!” he yelled, running into your en-suite. you giggle before relaxing into your cocoon, sleep welcoming you quickly.

once chan finished in the bathroom, he came out to find you curled up, now facing his side of the bed, soft even breathes escaping you.

he coos before making his way to his side of the bed. he lifted the sheets, sliding under them before gently pulling you to him, body melting into his.

he wraps his arms around you, “good night my sleepy baby, i love you.” he whispers, placing a kiss on your temple, before relaxing, letting sleep take over.

this didn’t last long however, chan lightly awoke maybe an hour later, to you stirring in your sleep, light whimpers escaping you. after hearing the first whimpers leave your mouth, he was very alert. he quickly looks over your body trying to determine what’s bringing you distress.

he catches a glimpse of your face, which is contorted in discomfort. he places a hand on your cheek once more, trying to gently wake you. “baby wake up.” he whispers, lightly tapping and stroking your cheek.

after a few seconds you finally wake, only to let out a yelp in pain, curling into the body beside you. “hey hey, baby, what’s going on?” he said kissing your head, rubbing your back.

“period.” you managed to get out, trying to curl further into yourself. one arm wrapped around your lower abdomen, the other one clenched into a fist against your forehead.

you start holding your breath unconsciously, praying the pain will subside. chan notices and gently taking your fist in his.

“breathe baby, breathe,” he says calmly, opening your fist to slot your fingers through his. you let out a jagged breath leaning your forehead against your joined hands, “squeeze my hand if you need to jagi but, you gotta breathe baby.” his thumb stroking the back of your hand.

you take a deep breath, trying to focus on anything over than the stabbing pain in your abdomen. “doing so good bug, just breathe.”  his other hand coming up to smooth the crease between your eyebrows. 

your breathing evens out slightly as the pain lessen a bit. a moment of silence passes before you sit up, hands still entwined. chan follows you, rubbing small circles on your back. “did you take medicine earlier?” you nod your head. “right before you got home.”  he hummed, understanding.

 “i’ll be right back, okay?” he whispers, thumb rubbing the back of your hand. you nod slightly, focusing on your breathing. he leans over, placing a kiss to the side of your head before getting up and making his way into the bathroom.

you grab a pillow behind you hugging it as you wait for him to return. a few moments passed before he reemerges with your heating pad in hand. he rounds the bed, plugging in the pad before sitting next to you.

“i’m gonna move this quick, okay?” you nod, moving your arms. he grabs the pillow, placing the heating pad in it’s place. “thank you.” you mumble, leaning on him, placing your head on his shoulder. “you’re welcome bug.” he kisses the top of your head before placing his there.

you sit there for a moment before you feel the guilt slowly creep up, the lump forming in the back of your throat. you turn your head into his shoulder as tears start to stream down your face.

“hey, hey, jagiya, do you want more medicine? what can i do?” he asks, placing a hand on your thigh, rubbing soothing circles. you shake your head, before moving to put your hand in your hands.

“i’m sorry channie,” you cried. “i know you’re probably exhausted, and shouldn’t have to deal with this.” you feel him move in front of you before placing his hands on your face, lifting it. “i am your boyfriend, it is my job to take care of you when you need me. and right now you’re in pain because of something you can’t control.” he pauses, looking into your eyes, gently wiping the tears running down your cheeks.

“i will always take care of you, doesn’t matter, time, place, if i’m tired or not, i will always help you. understand?” you nod, moving into his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, shoving your face into his neck.

he wraps his arms around your torso pulling you impossibly closer. “i love so much, jagiya. okay?” you nod your head quickly. “i love you too, more than you know.” you say into his neck, placing a kiss on his skin. 

you both stay like that for a moment before chan pulls away slightly. he wipes your tears once more before placing a kiss on your lips. “let’s get you to sleep, hm?” you agree, moving back into the mattress.

you watch him make his way to his side, getting comfortable under the duvet. once settled, he opens his arms for you to lay down. you giggle before quickly laying on him, making sure your heating pad was still in the correct position.

you place a kiss to his jaw before settling into his chest, duvet pulled to cover both of you. “thank you, i love you so much.” he places one last kiss to your head. “ you don’t have to thank me, i love you so much, good night my sleepy baby.” you smile, feeling at peace. “goodnight, channie.” you place a kiss over his heart before both of drift off once more.

do not repost

*feedback is always appreciated as are likes/reblogs!*

Guys I need help: I was just in the middle of reading an Innie fic where he and y/n meet on tinder.

They go to a party, her friends don't like him, they go back to her place and it gets spicy.

I accidentally backed out and my feed refreshed. I didn't get to like it or finish yet and I can't find it.

𝐥𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲 - alpha!yang jeongin x omega fem!reader

wc: 6.2k

cw: a/b/o dynamics!, alpha jeongin, omega reader, pack alpha channie, pack dynamics overall, jeongin and reader are both desperate, jeongin gets kinda possessive, heat cycles & knotting

synopsis: you want the newly presented alpha jeongin to help you with your heat, but you're a little embarrassed - until you realise he desperately wants to spend it with you.

a/n: i wrote this in 2 nights and i was barking the whole time i'm in my jeongin feelings! sw under the cut 18+ MDNI

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

sw: squirting, briefest fem rec oral, reader considers somnophilia, unprotected sex, copious amounts of breeding kink, a lot of slick, bath sex, doggy with his foot on her head, fingering (fem rec), dirty talk, riding, brief handjob, cum swallowing, choking, KNOTTING!!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Two hoodies, a pair of joggers, a sleeveless shirt, Felix’s pillow and two t-shirts, and it still feels like it’s not enough. You stare at your nest with a frown, foot thumping on the floor and a pout on your bottom lip. You need more, and it feels like your nest is particularly lacking in a certain scent - something fresh, floral, and not Hyunjin’s rose scent.

Your preheat has your pussy throbbing dully, head feeling a little disoriented, and you walk around in one of Chan’s t-shirts and your underwear and nothing else. You’re warm, not the type of warm you are when in the throes of your heat, but it still makes your skin slick with a thin sheen of sweat. Your nose twitches when you finally try to rearrange the items on your bed, but it’s still not enough. 

It needs more lavender, to be precise, but the idea of knocking on Jeongin’s door to ask the newly-presented alpha for one of his shirts makes your cheeks heat up even more. You’re too embarrassed, despite the whole pack knowing you’re entering your preheat - you can’t do that. Jeongin’s only just presented, and despite the fact you’d presented early and are younger than him, he was the baby. You saw him as your baby. 

Still, your thighs tremble a little as you lean over your bed. You may see him as your baby, but he’s definitely more than capable of taking care of an omega in heat. It’s in his instincts now.

You huff, exiting your room. It’s easy to beeline straight to Chan’s room and swing open the door, seeing him laying in his bed and scrolling through his phone. The mere idea of the thick alpha cock in his joggers has you wanting to whine, but you shake your head, crossing the room to his bed to pout.

He doesn’t acknowledge you until you’re sat cross legged, arms crossed over your chest, and when he does speak it’s with an amused tone. “What’s the matter with my little omega?”

“My preheat is making me crazy,” You avoid his eyes, staring at your lap. Your hands are knotted over your thighs, and you pick at your fingernails. He coos at you cutely, finally tossing his phone to the side and opening those broad biceps to welcome you close. Your Channie smells of the beach when you press your front into his, and he lets you straddle him. He’s shirtless because you’ve stolen his shirt. “Tryin’ to nest. Not good enough. It’s bad.”

“Now, I’m sure your nest is fine, baby,” Chan mumbles into your hairline, fingertips tracing up your back through your - his shirt. You mutter a few choice words back, and when his fingers go to the small of your back, it makes your pussy clench around nothing. Chan dutifully ignores the spike in your scent, kissing your forehead. “What’s wrong with it? Can alpha make it better, honey?”

You shift in his lap. “I don’t- I don’t have everyone’s things in there. It’s- it’s missing Innie. I don’t wanna ask.” Your words are muffled where you bury your face in his chest, and you want to bite him hard when he starts to chuckle. 

“Why don’t you want to ask?” He says, amused, and you kick your feet with a wail. He catches your legs with his toned thighs, trapping you between them, and you want to grind your clit all over him till you’re senseless from the show of strength. Damn preheat. “He won’t mind. He’ll like it, actually - you're treating him as one of your alphas now that he’s presented.”

“Wanted his stuff in there before anyways,” You insist, and Chan nods, humming.

“What makes it different now, hm?” His hands move to your ass, freeing you from the tight hold on your legs, and you do really gush a rivulet of slick this time. It makes you gasp, hips searching for something, anything, and Chan’s fingers just barely dip past the waistband of your panties. You raise your head, cheeks bright red, and Chan stares at you. His eyes darken, and he raises an eyebrow, before he’s smirking. “Oh, baby. You want our Iyennie for your heat?”

“N-no!” You stammer, shaking your head. “I never said-”

“You don’t have to say anything,” He muses, that stupid smirk still on his lips. You watch him run a hand through his hair, dark and curly and just as unruly as his sleep schedule. “Mm, I think it’d be nice to see, though. You know Felix helped him through his first rut? He was almost feral, baby, rutting into Felix like there was no tomorrow. Felix said he popped four knots on just the first day.”

Now, that makes you whine. Your head drops back to Chan’s chest, and you grind backwards to try and get his fingers further in your panties. Your mind is filled with the idea of Jeongin’s cock, thick and long and so alpha, his knot throbbing at the base and him fucking it into you until you’re joined together, filling you with loads and loads of his cum and-

Chan’s fingers move over your ass, finally dipping into your panties, and the pads of his fingers press against your hole. It flutters around nothing, and you leak more slick, your hips absentmindedly moving on his fingers to get some form of friction. Your eyes shut just barely, half lidded and glassy, and Chan lets out a little noise of approval at the look on your face. 

“Wanna know what I think?” Chan murmurs, and you make a strangled noise in response. “I think you need to ask our baby alpha to help you through your heat, baby.”

“Hnnng, yeah,” You respond, because there’s nothing else you can say. He’s right. That’s why it felt like such a stab in the heart when you didn’t have something of Jeongin’s in your nest - you want him so badly for this heat that it’s making your pussy gush more than you ever have, and your toes curl at the thought of it. “Yeah. Yeah, alpha, I will, just- for now, can- please, and-”

“I got you, baby. Lie there and let alpha take care of you.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You stand nervously wringing your hands together an hour and a half later. Chan didn’t pop a knot inside of you, but he fucked you and ate your pussy until you were sated and crying before washing you clean in the bath. He’s so caring, your pack alpha, and now you stand in front of Jeongin’s door with a blush high on your cheekbones again, a towel wrapped tightly around your head. You’re in a fresh pair of panties and one of Minho’s shirts this time, the alpha’s chocolate scent wrapping around your senses and sending you haywire. You still want lavender more than anything.

Jeongin swings open his door before you can knock, and he’s practically beaming at you. “Baby! I was just about to look for you. I found this show, and- oh. You’re really in it, aren’t you?”

You are. Your preheat is really pissing you off, and you know it could be tonight or tomorrow when your heat really kicks in. You don’t have time to sit around and be embarrassed about asking Jeongin, and he’s standing in a sleeveless shirt and sweat shorts. The scent of lavender hits you and your legs buckle, barely catching yourself on the doorframe. Your pussy’s gushing slick again, and the simple cotton panties you have on feel heavy with it.

“Innie,” You whine, rubbing your thighs together. Your slick has started to drip down to the tops of your thighs, and it makes you huff out an impatient breath. You need something, anything, and Jeongin’s just staring at you with a blank look on his face. “Innie. Innie, I- for my heat, you? I want you, can you- please? It’s okay if you don’t wanna, I get it, I just-”

“Of course I fucking want to,” Jeongin says instantly, and you can see him chubbing up in his shorts. You have to close your eyes before you jump his bones. “I- me, though? I’ve never fucked an omega during heat, baby, I- I want to so bad, but are you sure?”

“I’m sure, I’m sure, Jeongin, I want you. I want you so bad, fuck, my nest, please, please, please come with me, I can’t, I can’t,” You’re babbling, words slurring, but Jeongin nods as if he understood every syllable. You let him usher you away from his door and down the hallway towards yours, the show he was talking about completely abandoned, and when his large palm splays over your waist and holds you close to walk there you feel like you’re about to die. Sweat beads at your eyebrow and your vision goes dizzy with it, but Jeongin guides you, firm and strong like an alpha should always be. It makes your pussy throb and you have the fleeting thought that you could enter your heat now, surrounded by the young alpha and his lavender scent. 

You let him shut the door behind you, and then you’re jumping him. He lets you crowd him against your bedroom wall, only letting out a small noise of surprise when your lips attach to his and you’re kissing him filthy. Your tongue darts impatiently into his mouth, and he moves his hands to your hips, pulling you close. His hands are so big that his fingers splay over your ass, and you hear a few voices outside of your bedroom door. One sounds like Chan, and you’re momentarily filled with glee, hoping that he’s proud of you because you actually asked. 

When you finally pull away with a bite to his bottom lip, spit sticks the two of you together, and Jeongin scoffs out a laugh of shock. His eyes form crescent moons in his disbelief, but before you can ask him what’s so funny, you’re working on autopilot, yanking at the hem of his shirt.

“Off, off,” You insist, and he nods, letting you work his shirt off of him. You motion to your bed, trying to walk backwards with him clinging to you. “For my nest. My nest, alpha, see?”

“Beautiful nest,” Jeongin replies, his lips attaching to your neck. He sucks right over your scent gland and moans, deep and gravelly, and you let him push you backwards onto your bed. His shirt drops from your hand and lands right next to your pillow, and you want to giggle and kick your feet in delight when his scent envelops you more. “Beautiful omega, lettin’ me see you like this. Fuck, do you need- do you need something? Do you wanna kiss some more?”

“Mm, alpha, I need- need more, please,” You say, voice high and airy, and you watch his eyes roll back into his head at your tone. He’s never been with an omega like this, and you briefly think you need to cut him some slack, but you’re too busy pushing your panties down your legs. You toss them to the floor with a wet thud, and he finally pulls his face from your neck, fox-like eyes gluing on the space between your legs.

You can see him fully like this, planes of milky white skin exposed and clenching to a set of abs that have you keening. You reach out, and Jeongin grips your hand, running it down his stomach with a small smile. 

“Sexy alpha,” You muse, and he giggles delightedly, moving to lean over you again. He can’t believe you’ve let him have you like this so soon after his presentation, and it shows in the facial expressions he makes. You know your pussy is gushing slick that must reach through his sweat shorts and onto his cock, but he’s still ever the picture of self control, leaning up slightly to run two long fingers through your folds. 

“Sexy omega,” He retorts, and you feel his fingers dip into you just slightly. “Do you want it? This is okay, yeah?”

“Yes, yes, please- please, please, inside, please, Jeongin-”

“You don’t need to beg, baby, I know,” He pecks your nose sweetly, and then two fingers push into your hole, straight down to his knuckles. He twists them a few times in your sloppy pussy, lips parting at the sound of your pussy squelching, and you wail when he curls them against your g-spot. “Fuck, you’re- you’re really wet, are you sure you’re not in heat?”

“Not yet,” You shake your head, eyes glassy at the feeling of having something of him inside. This is what you needed - this is the pack mate you wanted, and he’s on top of you with his floppy brown hair and cute, plushy lips. He lets his teeth dig into his bottom lip when you moan at a particularly deep thrust of his fingers, his digits long and precise, and you know it’s not going to be long until you cum. Your head feels dizzy with it, preheat engulfing your senses and making you think nothing more than Jeongin, alpha, Jeongin, Innie, yours. “Innie, Innie, when I- when I go into heat, I want you to just take it, please! Take what you want, take me, I’ll present for you, I promise-”

“Fuck, will you?” He groans, hips rutting into your thigh. It’s the first loss of his self control, and it makes you gush down to his knuckles. He grinds his palm into your clit, wet and messy and sloppy, and your eyes roll back into your head. “Be a good breeding bitch for me, yeah? Alpha will take what he wants, baby, don’t worry.”

“Oh, oh- oh, p-please, please, I’m gonna cum,” You stammer, hips starting to grind into his hand. He yanks your shirt up then, exposing your tits, nipples hard and peaked, and he spits onto your chest. He rubs it in with his spare hand, barely holding himself up with his elbow, and you moan when you smell his scent spreading all over you as if he’s marking you. You want more, though. “Jeongin, alpha, alpha, lemme- lemme scent you, please? Please, wan’it when I cum, please!” 

He nods eagerly, and he slides a third finger into your fluttering hole just as he guides your head to his neck. You lick over his scent gland, messy and imprecise, and a well-calculated grind of his palm has you falling into the throes of your orgasm. You shake, keening all the way through it, and your pussy gushes more slick all over his digits. You almost feel bad until you hear the way he’s moaning back at you, letting you suck over his scent gland and get fully enveloped in him. 

You’re nearly drunk with it, and it takes an inhuman amount of strength that no omega should have to pull yourself away and tug impatiently at his shorts. Jeongin finally lets his fingers slide out of you, and then he’s using both big hands to wiggle the offending fabric down. You smile satedly when he leaves them in your nest, but then you’re gasping at the sight of him naked.

Jeongin’s big. You knew most alphas were, since Chan and Minho were, but his cock hangs heavy and leaking between his legs. His knot is fully formed already, waiting for you, and you moan, soft and needy. You make grabby hands at him until he’s settled between your legs.

“Fucking- shit, baby, you want it? I can- I knot a lot, I can still knot you through your heat,” Jeongin assures, and you let him push your legs backwards to spread you open. Your pussy is still creamy and messy, and you obediently cup your hands in the pits of your knees to give him a good look. Your clit throbs when he rubs his cockhead against it, peeking out of your folds with how swollen it is. With a small, impatient whine from you, he’s sliding home. He bottoms out instantly, and your clit rubs against the thatch of hair at his base deliciously. 

“Big,” You say, breathless, and Jeongin chuckles. “Big alpha cock. Mm, gimme, c’mon, fuck me with it.”

“I’m gonna fuck you with it. I’m gonna fuck you senseless,” He says, and then his hips are kicking up. All of his dance training has paid off, and his cock thrusts into you so fast your bed is squeaking. You’re happy you’ve had everyone else in the pack in this exact position already, otherwise your cheeks would burn crimson. You’re too busy whining and drooling all over your nest to care. “W-wet. Wet omega pussy, holy shit.”

“I’ll cum quickly, I’ll cum so quick, fuck- I’m gonna squeeze you so tight, alpha, I promise,” You wail, eyes finally leaking tears from the pleasure. His cock is heavy inside of you, and his head drops to your neck again, teeth just barely nipping at your scent gland playfully. With a shift of his hips, he’s fucking against your g-spot, and the feeling of his balls slapping against you drives you borderline insane. “Alpha! Alpha, oh, it’s s’good, s’good!”

“I know, fucking hell, baby,” He huffs, laughing in disbelief. “I’m gonna knot you. Fuck, baby, I can’t, I’ll last longer next time, I promise, just- let me knot you? Fuck, let me breed this cunt, please, omega, please, let alpha.”

“Alpha, please, yeah, yeah!” You babble, nodding impatiently, and his teeth bite into your scent gland firmer this time, just above Chan’s pack alpha bite. With another few thrusts, you feel his knot finally slot into your pussy, and the feeling has you squirting all over him again. You know he’s probably soaking with it, but the thought only makes you cum harder, especially when you feel his cock start to spurt hot cum inside of you. His knot causes it to leak out around his shaft, and you keen loudly, trying to grip his cock tighter with your hole to keep his load inside. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Jeongin coos, out of breath. His cock is still spurting inside of you, and his hips stutter to try and push it further inside despite the knot keeping him firmly in place. “I’ve got more cum for you later, pretty, I’ll give you my pups.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You wake up to the scent of lavender and pain in your tummy. It’s hit, you realise, no doubt spurred on by the alpha who’s let you sleep on his chest. You’re both still fully naked, his cock half-hard against the base of his tummy, and your pussy’s gushed a puddle onto Felix’s pillow. You almost feel a little guilty until you realise he’ll definitely just lick it clean and thank you for it.

Your limbs are still heavy with sleep, but you attempt to stretch out your legs. The movement just makes the cramps hit a little heavier, and you whine in pain, moving to scent Jeongin and try to calm your heat. You’re sweaty, a sheen beading on your chest and over your forehead, vision blurry, and Jeongin pulls you closer into his neck despite still being asleep.

Inhaling deeply, you run your hand down his stomach just like he’d made you do earlier. His muscles ripple under your touch and you feel like you’re about to go cross-eyed. You’re not even sure what time it is. Your phone is dead somewhere inside your room, and Jeongin discarded his own phone in his room when you’d jumped him. The memory almost makes you snicker, but the scent of lavender hitting your nose almost immediately quells the cramps in your tummy and you moan into his skin.

Feeling a little impatient, you let your hand run down to the base of his cock, fingers stroking over the thatch of hair. Would he let you, in his sleep? He’d been so caring, so willing to bend for your needs earlier. Could you just… straddle his lithe thighs, let his big cock slide into your hole and wake him up with his knot locking you together?

You’re so delirious with it you shake your head against his skin, sighing out a stuttered breath and trying to keep yourself together. You can’t wake him up, not now, not when he’s just treated you so well and is just getting some sleep. You shift on the bed again, trying to move away and calm down, but a hand moving to your hair has you gasping in surprise.

“Your heat’s hit, yeah?” He murmurs, voice heavy with sleep. It brings a deeper tone to your alpha’s voice that makes your pussy gush impatiently onto his thigh, and he treats you with a fond chuckle at the feeling. “C’mere. You wanna ride me?”

“Yes, yes, please, please, Iyennie,” You beg, and he nods, finally opening his eyes. They’re dark when he finally looks at you, his strong cheekbones only slightly illuminated by the streetlights outside, and you clamber on top of him. You’re so wet, dripping over his body until you finally grip the base of his cock and slide down onto him in one go. “Oh my god. Oh my god, alpha, oh my god, oh my god, big, big-”

“Ssh,” He comforts you, thumbs moving to rub circles into your thighs. “Bounce on it, baby. Let alpha wake up a little.”

So you do. Your hips bounce on top of him and you work yourself up into bliss. He just stares at you with half-lidded eyes, little grunts slipping from his lips when you hit it particularly deep and gush even more on top of him. 

“If you need it, you just take it,” Jeongin says, and you’re confused until you realise how he’d woken up to you in such a worked-up frenzy. “Take it whenever. It’s yours, omega, let me wake up to this messy pussy and I’ll- god, I’ll knot you whenever you need it.”

“I need it. I need it, I need it, oh, oh, alpha, I need it!” You wail, tits jiggling with your bounces, and Jeongin hums in response. He looks to be considering something, and after a long blink his eyes are open wider, more awake. With his alpha strength, he manages to pull you off of his cock, and you immediately begin to sniffle.

“Why? Why? You said I could, you said I could, alpha, you said-”

He’s flipping you onto your stomach in a quick movement, a growl leaving his lips when you just squirm on your tummy. Your pussy’s leaking even more now, and you’re crying, too, desperate for your lavender boy and his big cock.

“Remember what you said to me?” A large palm smacks your ass, and you squeak, pussy clenching and gushing. “Hands and knees like a good breeding bitch, c’mon, be a good omega for your alpha.”

“Oh, fuck,” You respond, quite intelligently, but then you’re deliriously pushing yourself up onto your knees. You arch your back for him, letting him see the way your hole flutters with emptiness, just slightly gaping from his thick length. 

“Fuck, baby, alpha’s gotta- I need to taste you,” Jeongin moans, and then his nose presses into you with a deep lick. He positively whines into your folds at the taste, tongue flicking over your clit and hand wrapping around your thigh to keep you supported. Your toes curl into the sheets, head dropping to your pillow with a loud, strangled moan. His t-shirt is still next to your pillow, and your nose buries into it, inhaling deeply with every moan he punches from your lungs. 

“Please, please, please,” You slur, muffled in his t-shirt, and he hums against your hole. It has you bucking back into his mouth, and when his mouth leaves you you really do sob this time. “Alpha, you said I don’t have to beg, being- being mean, being mean, Jeonginnie, Innie, why, why-”

You’re cut off by him sheathing his cock into your heat again, balls deep and heavy inside of you. He moans loudly, hand slapping down onto your ass again, and you whine in response, shaking your hips backwards onto him. It’s only a brief moment before he’s bunny-fucking into you just like he had earlier in the day, cockhead kissing your cervix with every thrust.

“Fuck. F-fuck, omega, do you always get this wet?” Jeongin keens, voice airy, and the break in his resolve has your head spinning. You squirm against him, and his hands move to your waist, trying to hold you still. “W-wet, wet, so wet, fuck. You’re making alpha’s cock feel so good baby, so pretty in your little nest.”

“W-wanted your things in it, Innie, wanted- wanted to smell you, I- please,” You’re babbling again, but you can’t help it, drooling all over Jeongin’s t-shirt while he fucks your pussy into oblivion. “I wanted you, Channie- Channie made me ask, and, and I was scared, and-”

“Never be scared, b-baby, not to ask me to fuck this little pussy,” He reasons, and you nod, whining. His cock presses deeper into you, and you feel him reposition on the bed, and then his foot rests on your head, pushing you down. “Is- is this okay, omega? Keepin’ you in place for me to fuck you, yeah? S-squirmy girl, you are.”

“‘S okay, ‘s so okay, so okay,” You try, but it’s still muffled. Your eyes are rolling back into your head at this point, your mattress squeaking and headboard thudding against the wall. Despite him holding you down you’re still trying to move, to grind your clit against something, anything, and you moan gratefully when one of Jeongin’s hands moves from your ass to underneath you, letting you grind your messy clit against his palm. 

“Make yourself cum,” He instructs, and you nod, fingernails digging into your nest. It must be a mess by now, laden with cum and your scents, but you don’t care - Jeongin will help you fix it later. You know he will, even through your delirious mind and your pussy gushing slick out over his cock and his knot. You still grind yourself downwards, feeling yourself inching closer and closer to your orgasm, and his foot holds you down harder. You whine, arching your back to the point it’s almost painful.

You feel it start to gush out of you before you even know it’s happening. “C-cumming! Cumming, alpha, alpha! I’m cumming, alpha, please, please-”

“What are you begging for?” Jeongin chuckles deliriously, hand smacking your ass. “Let it all out, a-all over me, all over your alpha’s cock. Give it to me, that’s it.”

You do. Your pussy gushes over and over, and with a loud growl, Jeongin’s knotting you again. His knot swells to the point that you know it’s going to be a stretch, and it slides inside with a wet noise before he’s filling you with his cum again. It’s thick, abundant, but his knot is so big this time it keeps it nice and secure inside of you.

“Fuck, breedin’ you nice and full, yeah?” He murmurs, and you nod satedly, your eyes fluttering shut. You could sleep like this, especially when he finally repositions you to lay with your back to his chest on your side, his knot steadily pumping cum inside of you. Part of you hopes it takes despite your birth control. His hand rubs over your tummy, and he snickers when he rubs one finger over your clit and makes you whine in overstimulation. 

A few minutes pass, and Jeongin manages to slide out of you, leaving your pussy gaping and messy. You want to make a noise of dissatisfaction, but you’re too tired, your heat leaving you sleepy and Jeongin leaving you satisfied.

“C’mon,” Jeongin huffs, fingernails tracing over the small of your back. “Let me run you a bath, omega. A bath and then food, yeah?”

“Hnnnfg,” You murmur, eyes fluttering shut. He’s fucked you so good it’s got you feeling floaty, heat completely sated until the next wave of arousal hits you. “‘M tired, Innie.”

“A bath and then food. That’s it, I promise. Let me take care of you.”

You can’t say no. You swing your heavy limbs to the side of the bed and follow Jeongin to where he’s fiddling with the bath taps, running you a nice, warm bath. He lets you press your face into his neck from behind to keep you grounded while he gets it sorted for the two of you, and you wrap your arms around his middle with a happy grin on your face. When he finally guides you into the bath with nothing more than a kiss on the cheek, you’re happy to stretch your legs out and let him wiggle in behind you.

“Ah, there. Feels good?” He questions, tucking your hair behind your ear, and you nod. He pecks your cheek again, before he’s using plain water to reach up and massage over your thighs. The movement doesn’t get you horny again, but moreso relaxed, and you lean your head back onto his shoulder while he looks after you. 

A knock on the door snaps you both from your serene moment, and Jeongin lets out a noise of surprise. You protest agitatedly, but make a noise loud enough to let the other person know they can enter.

Chan pokes his head in, eyes soft but fond. “I’m just checking everything’s going okay. Omega, how are you feeling?”

“I’m good, Channie-”

“Hyung,” Jeongin grumbles, hands wrapping tightly around your middle. The strength of it makes you squeak, eyes widening comically. “Please go. Not right now.”

“Iyennie,” Chan begins firmly, but seems to falter at seeing the look in his eyes. He chuckles awkwardly, scratching his neck. “Are you sure? I can help, or-”

“Hyung,” Jeongin says, firmer, and when you manage to crane your neck to look at him his jaw is set in a deep line. He’s getting possessive, you realise, not wanting Chan to be involved in your heat this time around or be anywhere close to you when you’re relaxing. The realisation has you heating up again, even in the bathwater, and you reach a hand up to grip Jeongin’s wrist. 

“I’ll set off,” Chan recognises, eyes flickering between you two. “Love you both.”

“Love you Channie,” You murmur, pussy throbbing between your legs where they’re splayed over Jeongin’s, and when the door shuts again he’s pouncing on you. 

“Heat hitting again?” He questions casually, but the heavy breaths he’s letting out on your shoulder and the hard cock pressing against your back has you knowing he’s anything but casual. You nod in response, and he pulls you around by your waist, making you face him. The steam from the bath has caused his hair to be slightly damp, and you push it back from his features, taking in just how handsome he is - and he really is like this, all domestic and boyish for you. His bottom lip is a little pouty, and you kiss it chastely, before you’re reaching down to grip his cock. 

“I gotta- next time, in your rut, let me,” You murmur against his mouth, still a little lucid despite the new wave of heat hitting. “I need to- to worship this cock, and suck it, and-”

“Fuck, omega,” He cuts you off, groaning, deep and gravelly. You pump his shaft a few times, but you’re too impatient, wiggling onto his lap further to let his cock press against your clit. It’s swollen and achy already, and with another moan Jeongin grips the base of his cock himself and guides it into your soppy hole. You’re still gaping a little from the previous time, but your lavender boy acts as if it’s the tightest hole he’s ever fucked into, a gasp leaving his lips. “Ah, there’s that pussy. I almost started missing it.”

You giggle breathlessly, forehead resting against his as you start to grind on his lap. The bathwater sloshes around you, some hitting the floor, but you can’t find it in you to care. His cock hits you deep like this, and you let out a sigh at the way his swollen cockhead presses against your g-spot. “I m-missed your cock already, alpha.”

“Yeah?” He muses, lips moving to messily kiss at your neck. “Ride it like you mean it then.”

You can’t help yourself. You start to bounce, and Jeongin’s lips latch onto your nipple immediately. He licks over the sensitive bud and you moan loudly, not caring who hears you over the sound of the rippling bathwater, and when he pulls away with a light bite of his teeth to your nipple it makes you gush fresh slick all over his cock, down to his balls. There’s still that interaction with Chan on your mind, though, and you have to ask about it.

“Innie,” You say, breathless, and he hums in response. The noise reverberates around your breast, where he remains with lips parted just above it, and you bounce a little harder in response. “Y-You didn’t want Channie to see me.”

Jeongin grabs your hips then, sharp and firm, and starts to thrust upwards. The movement really does make the water start to pour out of the side of the bath, and you move your fingers to dig into his shoulders for support. He smirks at you knowingly, and thrusts so hard it makes you jostle in his lap. “I didn’t want him to see us. You’re mine this time around.”

You wail, loud and incoherent, and you start to feel your head getting dizzy again. Your alpha looks after you, hand moving to your neck. You gasp when his grip tightens around the column of your throat. His hand holds you down onto his lap as he thrusts relentlessly into your pussy, wet and aching, and you can’t help the amount of slick flooding out of you. 

“Do you like being mine? Just for a few days?” He questions, chest heaving, and you nod eagerly. You realise your fingernails must be scratching him, and when you look to his shoulders you can see the slightest bit of blood on his milky skin, but he seems more bothered about getting you to cum on his cock again. “Fuck- I can’t- baby, I can’t knot you in here, it’s not comfortable-”

“L-let me swallow it,” You whine, barely audible from his tight grip on your throat. He lets go of you then, but doesn’t stop thrusting into you, letting out a loud groan. “Alpha, alpha, let me swallow it, let me taste it, please-”

“I’m gonna cum soon, omega, I’m close, fucking- baby, cum, cum for me, please?” Jeongin’s eyes are glassy, his bottom lip covered in spit, and you whimper, nodding. Your fingers move to your clit, and you start to rub in the same rhythm he’s fucking you in, feverish and fast. 

It doesn’t take long until you’re shaking through yet another orgasm given to you by your alpha, breathless noises leaving your lungs, and then he’s pulling out. Your pussy clenches with the loss, empty and upset, but he’s quick to scramble from under you and stand out of the bath. 

He stands in front of you, stripping his cock, his knot just barely inflated at the base. “Suck the tip, just the tip, just the tip.”

You lean over pliantly, sucking his cockhead into your mouth, and he groans. His hand moves to your hair, pulling it back slightly, and when you look at him through your lashes he’s done for. He spills into your mouth, messy but not too much given that he didn’t knot you, and he groans through his orgasm until his cock starts to go soft. He pulls out of your mouth gingerly, and you lick your lips clean. 

Even half hard, it’s still a spectacle, and you scrabble to try and get his cock into your mouth again. Jeongin only pushes you off playfully by your forehead, before he’s leaning down to kiss you, a lot more innocent than any of your prior kisses. 

“Mm,” He moans against your lips, and then he’s kissing your forehead, nose and cheeks, all in a triangle. When you pull away, he’s grinning, eyes scrunched up in that silly little smile he does. “Shall we actually get clean now?”

You giggle, leaning backwards against the other edge of the bath. The bathwater sinks to your breasts, and you try to ignore the way his eyes falter down to them. “It might be a good idea. Get back in?”

“You’re a heathen,” He says, trying to be condescending, but that smile is still on his face. “We can’t fuck in here again. The bathwater will go cold, and I actually want us to get clean and have some food so that we don’t die. Sounds good?”

“I’ll try to keep my hands off you,” You smile, wide and toothy, and he points an accusing finger at you when you look down at his shaft again. 

“Watch yourself, omega.”

“Yeah, like that’s not gonna get me turned on again,” You huff playfully, and Jeongin only tackles you into the bath and kisses your cheeks again. He leans his forehead against you, and you can see he’s blushing despite his playful front.

“Clean-up time, okay?”

One day I will stop reblogging things in the wrong blog lmao

hellevator

stray kids x ninth member male!reader

genre: angst, fluff

content warnings: implied anxiety, implied disassociating

word count: 2.1k

summary: he's going through voice changes in their debut era and fans are already sending in hate

Requested: anon!

This is my first male!reader fic so please be kind, I hope you enjoy! <3

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He was so excited to finally be a part of something, not that he had been training for long. But when Bang Chan told him he saw potential in him, despite their 6 year age gap, and recognised how well he got on with the other members, he was quickly added onto the line up for Stray Kids.

During the survival show, Y/N was babied, of course he was, the maknae in the upcoming JYP boy group. Fans of the show fauned over his fluffy black hair and the oversized hoodies he'd wear, making him look smaller. It was similar to how Jeongin was babied too, the two of them being the youngest and seen to have that sweet, innocent air around them. Plus, for Y/N's case, his voice hadn't broken yet at the age of 14, so that fed more into how he was perceived by fans.

However, it was not long after the group had finally debuted that a more mature, deeper voice had overcome him. Of course, not without the struggles of getting used to it. Originally singing the chorus of District 9 wasn't difficult, in fact it was easy. His gorgeous, husky tone was unique yet when he hit those high notes his voice was instantly recognisable. Now, he had to deal with voice cracks, and the rapidly depleting self-esteem that came along with it. This is what he trained to do after all.

"You're getting stressed out. We need to practice getting your voice in a position where it can hit those high notes again. It's not going to help if you're standing there thinking you can't do it," the vocal teacher sighed, putting down her sheets of the lyrics Y/N had been singing.

She was firm, yes, but she was being kind about the situation too. She has coached many that had gone through the same thing as Y/N, and all she wanted to do was to see him succeed, but he couldn't see things through her eyes, that was far too big of a mountain to climb for him. A treacherous journey to realising not everything is one dimensional.

Y/N could only focus on those last four words. 'You can't do it'. And he hated the way that everything suddenly felt hot, and how his throat itched. How his neck itched. He started subconsciously scratching lightly at his neck, feeling the stress flood through his body. He scratched away at the thing he wanted to change most, knowing he couldn't turn back time and have things stay the way they were.

All the comments he had read, all the whispers he had heard, circulating in his brain, like an endless loop of vicious words to bring him down. He would be the reason Stray Kids would fail, they had said. He wasn't good enough, they had said. It all came from jealous trainees that were bitter they didn't get to debut instead of him. The only failure apparent in this situation was Y/N realising that.

"I need some air," Y/N barely managed to speak as he rushed out of the small practice room, tugging at the strings of his hoodie and making his way outside.

Fresh air.

Just breathe, Y/N.

And he managed to do so, not without his mind taking him to another place as he stared up at the JYP sign on the building. Was he meant to be here? Did he deserve to be here when his talents were no longer there? Y/N just couldn't see it the same way anymore, he couldn't see himself the same way anymore when the thing he had been praised for so deeply had changed. Even the people who had supported him before had changed their opinions, because his growth had shattered the image they had of him.

Y/N was unaware of the familiar presence beside him, one that had playfully called out his name before realising something was wrong. He was gently guided back into the building, and swiftly surrounded by the warmth of the 3RACHA studio.

"Hyungs! I found Y/N but he's not talking to me," Jisung's voice quivered as he himself was now feeling worried about his dongsaeng.

Changbin took Jisung aside, hushing him and reassuring him that he did the right thing, whilst Chan took it upon himself to understand what was happening to his youngest brother.

"Hey, hey, you're ok, come on, look at me," Chan spoke quietly, yet he managed to break through Y/N's mind as the younger looked around the studio.

"I shouldn't even be here," Y/N shook his head, voice monotonous. Just being there upset him further, yet he still fought against everything within him to show that side.

"What do you mean? This is our studio of course you're allowed in here, I mean, I know Channie likes his own space sometimes but this is different," Changbin moved to stand in front of Y/N too, having successfully calming Han, "hey, no no no don't float away again, I need you to listen," Changbin forced Y/N to sit down in the sofa. Han automatically wrapped his arms around the younger, wanting to do his best to show he was there for his fellow member.

"What's going on Y/N? Your vocal teacher said you just ran out of the building. She was waiting another 45 minutes until Seungmin turned up for his lesson because she couldn't find you," Chan sighed as he sat down in his chair, opposite the distressed boy.

"I bet Seungmin was much better than me," Y/N mumbled, but even with that, throat thick in emotion, his voice cracked yet again. Flustered that it had happened yet again, Y/N's fist came down against his own leg, huffing in frustration.

"Yah yah, don't do that!" Han frowned, pulling Y/N's arms away from him.

"I'm just so frustrated!" Y/N spoke through gritted teeth, looking up at the ceiling to keep his tears at bay.

"About what?" Changbin prompted Y/N further but he just stayed quiet.

"You need to tell us ok, we're your hyungs, we want to know what's going on, we need to know," Chan moved closer, resting his hand on Y/N's knee.

"My stupid voice," Y/N whispered, embarrassed to admit it.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What about it?"

"Ever since it's broken, you know, gotten deeper, I just sound stupid when I try singing, it's embarrassing, I mean, it makes sense when they say I shouldn't even be in the group anymore, I-" Y/N opened the gates to his mind as his mini ramble began and was quickly cut off.

"Who said that..." Changbin frowned deeply.

"Stays, other trainees," Y/N threw his hands up in the air, just done with the whole situation.

"Trainees are saying it too?!" Han gasped, looking at Chan and Changbin worriedly, a hint of malice in his eyes as he thought about all of those around them that still acted like their friends.

"Y/N they're just jealous, you can't listen to what they say," Chan began, sighing once more as he ran his fingers through his hair, somewhat at a loss of how to reassure Y/N anymore.

"Easier said than done. Why did you even have me join this group when, when... when I was just going to make us fail!" Y/N exploded, pushing himself up from the sofa and out of Han's arms, away from Changbin's concerned glances and especially away from Chan's words which went in one ear and out the other straight away.

It wasn't long until he found what he thought was an empty practice room, not noticing the bags of his other hyungs that were for once tucked away neatly in the corner of the room. He found solace in the emptiness and allowed himself to collapse to his knees, breaking down into tears of frustration, sadness and all the other emotions he kept pent up.

The rest of Stray Kids returned from a small snack break at the vending machine, all going together of course, you wouldn't find one Stray Kid without another, even this early on in their time of being together.

"Hey hey hey, aegi, what's going on? Omo..." Lee Know gasped as he saw the baby of the group shaking and sobbing. He ran up to Y/N and wrapped his arms around him, the other members astonished until 3RACHA ran in and finally found Y/N after hearing the commotion.

They began to explain what happened to Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin whilst Felix sat down in front of Y/N to help calm him down, brushing his hair out of his face and rubbing his leg soothingly. He tried his best to listen to Y/N at first but due to his growing knowledge of Korean not being up to par with Y/N's incoherent sobs, it was easier to stick to physical affection. You could say Y/N was in a Lee sandwich, the best place he could be right now.

"Can't... Shouldn't..." Y/N sobs soon calmed down and the rest of his members gathered around him in a semicircle, Minho still hugging him from behind. Yes, he could come across as cold and brash sometimes, but no one could tell you just how soft Minho really was apart from his members. They knew him the best.

"Y/Nnie... please you have to listen to us, you're in this group for a reason," Hyunjin patted his knee from beside him.

"T-they didn't say anything about Jeongin's voice when his broke!" Y/N exclaimed, pain clearly still there, tired of all the judgement he had been receiving. He wasn't able to listen to his hyungs right now.

And the boys go quiet not knowing what to say back to Y/N, they were sure he didn't mean to offend Jeongin but it didn't stop Seungmin from patting his shoulder in support.

"Not, not, oh gosh not that I wanted Jeonginnie hyung to get hate I'd never want that for my hyungs I just..." Y/N put his face into his hands, feeling bad as if he has indirectly insulted his hyung, just because he was feeling hurt. From behind him, Minho hugged him tighter, whispering in his ear to try and gain his attention.

"It's ok, I know you didn't mean it like that," Jeongin smiles from across him, and Y/N could tell it was a genuine one.

"Look, our vocal teacher said something to me earlier about what was going on, she was worried about you, she thought she said something wrong," Seungmin trailed off, trying to get to the bottom of the matter.

"No she was actually really nice about it, it was just too much of a reality check and then my mind just took control and... Ugh I don't even know," Y/N came to a realisation that his vocal teacher wasn't being rude to him and it was all these overwhelming feelings that had built up and caught him out.

"Just take a moment, yeah, and think, would I have added you to this group if I didn't think you had the talent, had the potential," Chan rose an eyebrow, firmly talking to Y/N to make sure he understood what he was saying.

"Or his personality, personality is important too," Felix piped up, not wanting Y/N to feel like his worth was only reduced down to one thing.

"Of course it is, but that isn't what this is about right now, answer me, Y/N," Chan nodded to Felix before looking back at his upset member.

"N-no..." Y/N stuttered, realising the depth of what his leader was saying.

"Good. We can see how good you are. The only reason fans are getting annoyed is because it's a change they haven't adjusted to yet. Just like you're adjusting to this change too. Now, they shouldn't be sending in hate, so please, I will do everything it takes for you to not listen to it anymore, ok?" Chan promised Y/N, sitting in front of him and making sure he got that one answer he needed.

"O-ok, I-i understand now, thanks hyung, I-i love you all," Y/N felt the stress leave him, finally able to understand things from a different perspective.

"Aww he said he loves us!" Minho suddenly picks up Y/N and spins him around, causing the younger boy to squeal.

"I wish I had a camera!" Seungmin laughed along.

"I need to remember this forever," Jeongin and Han fooled around, widening their eyes and pretending to screenshot this happy cute moment into their brains.

It was definitely a moment that Y/N would be teased about in the future, being exposed for his true feelings for his hyungs when normally he'd be quiet about what he thought about in the normal way. It was just a good thing they got in his head this time, because now they had a happy memory to think about instead.

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