During The Off-season, Our Soccer Players Are Known To Hibernate - That Is, Eat Lots Of Food And Move

During the off-season, our soccer players are known to hibernate - that is, eat lots of food and move very little! We asked them to try on their jerseys for us, because who doesn’t love a comparison photo?

So I’m in my senior year at Pfatter and, well, let’s say the past few years have been very filling. So filling that I’ve reached the size where I can’t leave my dorm anymore… I can’t even fit through the doorway… Does Pfatter offer lectures and services online so a housebound fatty like myself can still learn?

Of course - we’ll have someone from Student Services contact you immediately. You’re a candidate for our OBESE (Online Broadcast of Educational Services for Everyone) program, which allows you to Zoom in to all of your courses if you can’t make it to class. Here’s a few of our OBESE students hard at work from the comfort of their own dorm!

Which fraternity at PFatter University is known as the biggest party animals? I can only imagine how much beer the frat house consumes.

That would be Sigma Delta Tau (ΣΔΤ)! Last night they threw their annual Barely Dressed Greek party, showing off their well-fed physiques under their signature sheer togas. Don’t you wish you had been there?

@tubby20s you’d fit right in at Pfatter U! Should we send a transfer application? 🐷

Twink went to the dinning hall too many times in college

This past week, our Studio Art students got a special treat - some of their classmates came in for a nude model portrait study. Some of them admittedly had issues focusing on their paintings, luckily all were provided with extra-large canvases! Here’s some of the models in action.

“Being an RA at Pfatter University is so rewarding! I’m living on a Freshman Floor this year. They always stop by to raid my snack cabinet, ask for recipes, or borrow some clothes - at least half my resident’s pants don’t fit anymore! But I’m always happy to help.” - Luke, senior