Okay Class. Please Raise Your Hand If The Enormity Of Your Desire Disgusts U

okay class. please raise your hand if the enormity of your desire disgusts u

Someone needs to tell me if it’s real or if I’m searching for something that doesn’t exist because it’s making me sick with want and desperation and I have to know why I don’t have it

I keep on reading and hearing and hoping for this kind of friendship where you love and trust your best friend with everything, and they just understand you and I need to know if that’s something we all just hope for or is it real because I thought you guys were serious and I looked and I tried really fucking hard and it’s not anywhere

Is it me? Am I someone who just doesn’t like other people? Do people just not like me? Is this an actual thing?

It’s fine that I’m not like other people, it’s fine that I can’t even walk like them- I just need one person who I genuinely enjoy spending extended hours periods of time with who won’t disappear

Can just anyone let me know if they’ve ever felt the way Sirius and James or Dorcas and Reg or Jude and Noah (I’ll give you the sun) or Jeremy, Sebby and Mira (fans of the impossible life) have felt because I’m not even sure if what I’m looking for exists

I thought I felt it for a minute but it must’ve just been in my head because I don’t think they care, they’ll disappear on me for months on end and I don’t have the balls to ask them why or if I’m the only one they leave in the dust (and I would if they were someone I could just be myself with)

I have never felt fully comfortable or understood by anyone. I’ve never been completely happy just because I was near another person.

I keep on having these daydreams about people I would die for who I tell everything but there’s not a single person on this earth that I could give up my life for- I’ve been to so many different places as so many different people (and on occasion myself, just to see if that would work) and no one anywhere cares. I move on and neither of us care or even really miss each other.

please tell me (pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease) what I have to do because I would do anything to have just one person I trust- it can be anyone- I’ve never been picky or judgy about people, they don’t have to like anything I like I just don’t want to be afraid of liking it around them

do it weird do it scared do it shy do it anxious do it lonely do it cautious do it with shaking hands. but do it.

a comic about fix-it fanfics

Missy (the oc from my previous post about a script I’m trying to write) is autistic and nonbinary and REALLY codependent on their best friend Flora-Maya.

They grew up together being the first people to show each other genuine kindness and sort of contrasting each other’s lives (Flora-Maya spent a long time in a home that was very critical of everything she did and Artemis was raised in a very tough love, academic-focused and touch-ambivalent family) so I think Artemis views Flora-Maya as sort of the only person on their team as well as someone more important than everyone else/more deserving of love.

Artemis is isolated from everyone else and I think isn’t used to being around people who haven’t grown up with her. She’s very weird and bad with words, so she’ll often say things that don’t make sense (using incomplete sentences, abandoning context and using acronyms they completely made up).

They also are very unaffected by any judgement/mockery/bullying they may face at school due to the all the criticism she receives at home, so I don’t think that Missy ever abandoned the weird habits that a lot of kids drop after some teasing. They move weirdly, sometimes dancing for no reason, randomly stretching/wiggling their arms and legs and pull random faces just like in the middle of conversations.

They’re not used to boundaries (because they have none with Flora-Maya or their younger brother once he comes along later on) and often will just touch if they want to touch or take is she wants to take, without really thinking about it or asking for permission or providing any warning.

(It improves as they get to know other after running away, though, so it doesn’t become a really big concern)

Hahaha if I can be weird then so will every oc and fanon character I can get my hands on. Missy is a weirdo, Flora-Maya is a weirdo, Deidre is a weirdo, Tonya is weirdo- just try and stop me

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