Moving On

moving on

i expected an explosion

it would have had to take a supernova 

to shake you out of my arteries and my blood stream 

the smell of your shampoo and the clink of your rings

full moon faded from the sky- aquarius slipping away into ink

but it was quiet, church square at night

when i realized 

silent, my heartbeat as it was killed 

expectations crushed by my own cruel hands

rejecting myself before you ever could 

i will not be the one 

i didn’t have to leave to move on

quiet, the walk home

dry smiling face

without feeling

without meaning

silent, empty, loveless

abi

so much to give, nowhere to put it down

too much love, too much energy

autobiographical space cadet on the astral, nowhere to go home to

perpetually alone- perennial wanderer 

wisteria flowers creeping over the pineal gland

logical never, reasonable always

whimsical to a fault

the magician, flame in hand

pentacle thrown into the waves, discarded

twinkling, chiming

jellyfish floating like lanterns in the subconscious 

all the power, none of the will

semper fidelis

loved but never understood

like diving into an ocean

you lose breath before you touch the seafloor

"Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was always just red." - Kait Rokowski

I am good. I am loved.

this poem means a lot to me

when you found me in the darkness

we ran

hand in hand,

i thought it was a miracle

that we were escaping together

but you later told me

out of breath

and laughing

that it was your home

we had run from.