The Villain: I Am A Wanted Criminal Who Has Murdered People. I Have Committed Several Crimes And I Am

The Villain: I am a wanted criminal who has murdered people. I have committed several crimes and I am severely mentally ill. You should fear me.

Me: aw hello little skrunkly baby <33

Here's a shower thought for you:

drowning is just suffocating with water.

Thank you, 12am brain.

When people ask me, "hey, what are you feeling right now?" I always say "I'm okay." But in reality, I'm feeling existential dread and *high pitched screaming*

A Day in the Life (Lost Ones)

Summary: A day with the new parents and how some of their friends reaction to their new bit of joy. 

Pairings: Platonic! Parental! Tommy, Wilbur, Philza, Technoblade, Eret, and Dream x F! Child! Reader

Previous | Next

Warnings : (In Phil’s Specifically) Death, Violence. (Generally) Swearing

A/N: Just so you know (F/L) means First Letter of your first name. Hope you guys enjoy! ♥

Keep reading

Helloo, can i request suna, osamu, and kuroo for H? Thankyouu, i really like how you write hc tho, it felt so real🥰🥺❤️

waking him up to ask if he’s sleeping: suna, osamu, kuroo

━ suna rintarou

i can see suna as someone who hates being awoken for dumb reasons so you’re gonna have to be careful with this one 

“rin, are you sleeping?” you ask, voice louder than before. when he doesn’t react, you grab one of his hands and squeezes it. “rin, wake up.” 

“what is it?” he groggily asks, eyes still closed as he pats around the bed, searching for you. 

“are you sleeping?” 

the room goes silent as suna lays there, processing your words. you can see his face slowly darkening. 

“...people say there aren’t stupid questions yet you just proved them wrong. congrats,” he mutters, sliding his arm back under his pillow as his back turns to you. 

hearing his toneless reaction, you swallow hard and slowly slides off the bed. maybe trying the tiktok prank on your boyfriend wasn’t such a good idea.  

“where you going?” 

you do a double take at his sudden voice. “i was just gonna go-” 

suna props himself up on his elbows and pushes his black hair back, eyes narrowing in on you. “you woke me up; don’t you think you should make it up by sleeping beside me?” 

he lifts the blanket up and waits for you to climb inside. the heat trapped inside engulfs you, heating your once cold body all around. suna gently pats your cheek and pulls his pillow to your side. he settles his head down besides your as you sink into his pillow. suna shoots you a don’t-ever-do-that-again look

━ miya osamu 

“‘samu,” you whisper, shaking his heavy shoulder with both of your hands. osamu stirs and lets out a soft grunt, eyes still stubbornly shut. “i have a question for you. wake up, wake up.” 

rubbing his eyes with his fist, he blinks several times at you. “what’s your questions?” his husky voice rings through the air. though you’ve never told him, he always knew how much you liked his sleepy voice. 

“were you trying to sleep?” you innocently ask. osamu tilts his head from one side to the other, eyes trailing up your body to meet your eyes. 

“...i know you did not just ask me that,” he says. “are you being serious ... ?” 

seeing his confused face, you bite back a smile. “i saw it on tiktok and thought it’d be fun to try on you.” 

he reaches for your hand and rolls his eyes. “we’ve got to find you a new person to do your experiments on.”  

“well~ there’s this guy i met a few weeks ago-” 

“nevermind.”

━ kuroo tetsurou 

“kuroo...” you softly say, patting down his spiky hair. kuroo’s snores continue. “babe?” you nudge his arm. still no response. “kuroo, wake up. i have a question for you.” 

he turns his head to the said as his eyes flutter half-open. “what ... question?” he mumbles into his pillow. 

“were you asleep?” 

“...is that your question?” 

you nod. “mhm” 

his forehead crinkles as he realizes what you just asked. “babe, seriously? i thought you had an actual question. you know...if you wanted my attention you could’ve just said it ;)” 

you pull back and frowns. “who said i wanted your attention?” 

he laughs and smushes a pillow into your face. “you sure look happy now that you’ve got it.” kuroo pulls the pillow back, takes a good look at your smushed face and laughs even harder, except since he just woke up, his laugh sounds even weirder than usual. 

(why is he like this smh <3 ) 

↳ ʕ*ﾉᴥﾉʔ tiktok event

like a year ago I saw a trailer for Some Fucking Romcom where I thought for the first thirty seconds the plot was “bride asks her gay brother and his boyfriend to get heterosexual dates for her wedding”

turns out the plot actually was “bride asks her two Commitmentphobic ™ brothers to get dates for her wedding” which, lame

I like my idea, where two gay dudes and two lesbians have to pretend to be straight for an entire weekend 

“I can definitely pretend to be straight,” Lesbian One says, “I successfully pretended to be a straight man for twenty years.”

“No,” her girlfriend Lesbian Two says, “no you definitely didn’t.”

Lesbian Two, who is butch, discovers an eyelash curler. “What is this, a torture device?”

Gay Guy One hooks up with the DJ, the wedding planner, three caterers and the best man. Shenanigans happen as he narrowly avoids getting caught by the bride.

Gay Guy Two, of course, finds himself falling hopelessly in love with the groom.

At the climax of the movie Gay Guy One falls out of the closet where he’s making out with his latest conquest, the florist. The bride screams, eyeliner smearing from tears, about how he’s RUINING HER WEDDING and she didn’t choose to have a brother who was QUEER and why didn’t he ever think about HER and why couldn’t he just pretend to be NORMAL for her SPECIAL DAY–

the groom is like “honey, I’m bi”

the bride says “no, you’re not! you’re marrying me! you’re straight now!”

and then the wedding is called off and Gay Guy Two and the groom live happily ever after. the after-credits scene is Lesbian Two suspiciously poking her eyelids with an eyelash curler