OmG!!!! WHY IS THIS SO GOOD???

omG!!!! wHY IS THIS SO GOOD???

𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕨𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 • 𝕠𝕟𝕖

SUMMARY: Tom has to move to New York when his father got a new job and he’s afraid of moving to a different place. (Y/N) is daughter of a world famous fashion stylist and big wealthy lawyer. What happens when this two keep meeting each other everywhere?

Based on my one-shot, Flawless.

PAIRING: Rich!Tom Holland x Rich!Reader (Best Friends to Lovers AU)

WORDS: 6.4K 

WARNINGS: Swearing and vomiting.

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                              𝕠𝕟𝕖 • 𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕣𝕜

New York is the city that never sleeps, at least that’s what they all say. Every single person that ever walked through its streets fell in love with them and the images stuck in their head like it was the most amazing time they ever had in their lives. That first step you take, breathing in the new air, you just feel like right there everything… works. Even though it had bad traffic, didn’t smell so nice and it was visually polluted. New York was magical somehow and it made everyone feel home even when they are so far away from their own. That’s how Tom felt like on the first time he stepped foot in New York. Renewed and ready to take what the city would throw at him.

When he first heard that he would be moving to a different country, he was fucking terrified. He was so used to London and his friends, changing it out of the nowhere would be really hard for him. He just started making some solid friendships and it was his senior year, he wasn’t ready to let go of the city. What if he got lonely? Or maybe they didn’t like him? He might be cool for a British kid, but maybe he wasn’t so cool as a New Yorker and people would laugh at him. Things for him were falling perfectly into place, he got a scholarship in one of the best schools in the city, his parents got an awesome apartment on the Upper East Side, but he still was afraid of change.

“You don’t have to go alone, you know that darling?” Nikki said to Tom when he admitted to his mother he was feeling afraid of moving. “The school you just got in has an exchange program and I’m sure the Osterfields would love to come along for a year until you and Harrison graduate. And even if he doesn’t come along, it will be such a great opportunity to you as an actor. Maybe if Harrison came along, it would be good for him too.”

And that’s the story of how Tom’s best friend came with him to America. But how he got there in the first place? Well, it’s very simple. Tom’s dad, Dominic, was a comedian and got offered to work in New York and had to move as quick as he could and he would be there for a long time. After a long conversation, the whole Holland family decided to move with him and they all had to manage their whole year again, including finding a place to support the whole family, a new job for Nikki and new schools for the kids. Luckily, the Hollands were a wealthy family, not extremely wealthy, but money never was a problem. Having their firstborn with a scholarship in one of the best schools in New York was huge for them.

The day they left England was the worst anxiety attack Tom had in his life, but all of the boy’s worries went away the first time he stood in the middle of the city, right in front of his building and took a good look, standing right next to his best mate, who rested an arm over his shoulders with a smile on his face, admiring the city just like the one standing next to him. 

Continuar lendo

lava lamp on a train in south korea

It keeps getting better and better 😔😔😔

just say goodnight n go | chapter 03.

pairing ↠ jin x reader, fuckboy!jungkook x reader

genre ↠ college au | love triangle | strangers to lovers | slow burn | fluff, angst, smut | multi-chapter

word count ↠ 8.9k

18+ | warnings ↠ grivieng character, a little bit of jealousy, swearing.

summary ↠ when your mother passes away, you go back to your college student life, only to find out the guy you liked (and were friends with benefits with) had a girlfriend now. trying to get over him and your mother’s passing, seokjin, the friend of a friend wants you to give him a chance. will you find your way back to yourself?

A/N  ↠ so I’m back with another one andtoday I offer a lil bit of fluff with kim seokjin! YES!! on this one I decided to insert some poorly edited social media au (?). is it cringy? also this one is longer than the previous chaps, is it too long? please lemme know. anyway, I hope you enjoy this story and feel free to give me your honest feedback.

and also here’s a playlist for you to listen while you read :)

INDEX ↠ prologue | 01 | 02 | 03

“Of course you can say whatever you want, if you find the elements to support your arguments, but I can always disagree if I find elements to support my own counterarguments’’, Han gyosunim states running her eyes through the classroom, so she could make brief eye contact with all of your classmates. “So, yes, Cha Songwook-ssi, you can write in your paper that you believe the gothic movement bases its aesthetics on German Expressionism, you only need to convince me”.

It was always him. Always Cha Songwook with his never ending questions (most of them stupid) hampering the professors from dismissing their classes. Seriously, this guy… Can’t he just write whatever the fuck he wants and wait for the goddamn evaluation?

Han gyosunim looks at her watch and, then, starts again.

“Well, our time today is up… If you have any more questions you can email me anytime, ok? Wish you all a pleasant day!”

You gather your stuff calmly, stuffing them into your backpack. You greet your professor on your way out as you head towards the door.

In the corridor, you run into two girls who are attending the same classes as you this term. As you took a leave of absence, your actual classmates were one semester ahead of you, Jungkook for example, was one of them. So you had to mingle again, in case you skipped any classes, you’d have someone to lend you their notes. They recognize you and flash you warm smiles.

“Y/n! We didn’t have any chance to catch up… I’m happy to see you’re back”, Hyori, the redheaded one, says, looking at you with kind eyes. “How are you? We are very sorry for your loss”.

The dreaded question pops up again. Poor thing, she’s just trying to be nice, but you really did not feel like explaining anything, especially to someone who wasn’t exactly close to you. Of course you weren’t fine… Why do people insist on asking?

“Thank you, Hyori. I think I can say I’m getting by”, you laugh awkwardly. “What about you, girls? How are things?”

“We’re ok”, the other one, Jinshil, replies. “Definitely did not miss college, but ok”.

You join her and laugh a very plastic laugh, trying to be as nice as you can. You hate small talk with every fiber of your being.

“I kind of did, surprisingly. I’ve postponed taking Photography as much as I could, though, but here I am now. Not as bad as I thought, but it’s still bad”.

“Yeah, I didn’t know you hadn’t taken Photography yet, so I was surprised to see you there”, Hyori points out. “I also thought I’d hate it, but it turns out I love Han gyosunim’s classes”.

“Yeah, she’s… great. An inspiring woman, right?”, you try.

You see the girls eyes fixating on something behind you, appalled. Jinshil’s jaw drops and you can’t help but to follow their gaze, only to find Jungkook walking towards you. A warm smile hangs on his lips when you turn to look at him. He is dressed in a light blue sweatshirt that made him look amazing, as always.

“Hello, ladies”, he smiles at the girls and turns to you, bumping his shoulder playfully into yours. “Hey, what are you up to?”

“This was my last class today”, you state pointing to Han gyosunim’s classroom with your thumb. “So, I’ll be heading home to take a well deserved nap”.

He laughs and it feels like music to your ears.

“Why did I even ask?”, he shakes his head at you. “Anyway… If you girls need any help with this class, don’t hesitate to ask, ok? Photography isn’t exactly an easy one”.

“Aww, thanks, oppa!” Jinshil says a little too excited for your taste.

But then again, you had no right to feel any type of way.

“No need to call me oppa, Jinshil, I’ve already told you that”, he states it with a grin, his eyes looking like small crescent moons. He was passive aggressively trying to be nice. “Anyway, I’ll get going, just wanted to say hi”.

Both Jinshil and Hyori say their faintly sly “goodbyes” to Jungkook at the same time, which makes him laugh a bit.

“Bye, Kook”, you wave your hand at him.

“I’ll see you later today, right? At the house? Namjoon hyung will be there too”, he says, already walking away backwards, so he could still look at you as he spoke.

“Hmm, no promises, I need to start studying for Photography, but maybe I’ll swing by”.

“Oh, come on, Y/n!” He furrows his brows. “You know what? I’ll ask Jimin to convince you”.

“I do need to study, Kook”, you dismiss him with your hands.

“We’ll see”.

Scrunching his little nose as he smiled at you, looking like a cute little bunny, he waves goodbye and turns around, walking away. You can’t take your eyes off him until he’s disappeared from your sight. Well, that’s your cue, enough small talk for today. As you turn to face the girls again, you notice they are looking at you with curious expressions. Weird.

“Y/n… Can I ask you something?” Jinshil starts.

“Yeah, sure”, you reply curiously.

“Was the break-up peaceful?”

“Whose break-up?!” you ask, cocking one of your eyebrows, with a dumbfounded expression.

What the fuck?

“Well, you and Jungkook… you broke up, right? He’s dating someone else now, isn’t he?” She asks again, speaking in a lower tone. “I thought you wouldn’t be speaking to each other after… You know?”

Again: what the fuck? What was she talking about? Did people know anything about you? And if they did, what the fuck does she have to do with it? “I’ll ask again, Jinshil, what break-up? Jungkook and I are friends! Where did that come from?” you try to soften your tone as much as possible, in an attempt to sound baffled by her assumptions.

Truthfully, you just wanted to say “mind your own fucking business”, but then again, you couldn’t even be rude, they were nerds, you’d need their help at some point, you knew it!

“Well… We all thought-”

“Sorry, you’re mistaken, sweetie. We are just friends”.

“Oh… ok”.

Hyori, who was, until this point, a silent listener decides to participate too.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, . Not sound like a gossip, but… Er… But, last year Park Woosung kinda saw you two, like, making out at one of his frat parties and… He kinda told some people, like, from our department. We all kinda knew you two dated since then. You two are always together, you treat each other like boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean, it was none of anyone’s business, but…”

Your own jaw drops by now.

“That’s why I asked… You two were pretty much a couple in everyone’s eyes”, Jinshil stated with an apologetic tone, looking you in the eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything”.

You were still processing the new piece of information you have just received. Ok, so, pretty much all of your classmates and some other students from your department knew about you and Jungkook. Who else knows? That’s the question. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. If Namjoon ever finds out about it he’d be fucking pissed.

And now everyone probably pities you, since they all know you two were a thing. You still kinda are. You didn’t even know for, it was too fucking complicated already and people sticking their noses into it made it all worse. Fuck.

You laugh, that’s what you do. You try to sound convincing, you can say that. They look at you curiously, knowing you were about to spill some more gossip.

“Nah, it’s ok, sweetie”, you declare nonchalantly. You try, at least. “We are really just friends…It was a one time thing- The… What Park Woosung saw. We were drunk and you know? It happens, am I right? Anyway, I can hear my bed calling for me. Gotta go. See you later, ok?”

“Oh, ok. Sure. See you later”, Hyori waves her hand at you, looking a little awkward now.

“Bye, Y/n”, Jinshil follows, looking as awkward as her friend.

You turn around feeling disoriented, you just need to get as distant as you can from these girls. You definitely did not see it coming.

Fuuuuuuck.

To make matters worse, your situation with Jungkook was exactly the same, you two were still seeing each other in secret, only this time, it was behind his girlfriend’s back. And well, it’s not so much of a secret anymore, people were starting to notice there was something going on between you two, it was only a matter of time until someone else found out you were back “together”. You can already predict everything Eunjoo is going to say about this, if you decide to tell her.

You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket and you see a text from Seokjin.

jin [3:37 pm]: coffee? 🧐

You [3:37 pm]: yea, meet u there :)

“How can someone who studies filmmaking hate photography? That’s absurd”, Jin asks you dumbfounded.

You’re sitting next to him on a bench near his favorite coffee shop. You two were making a habit out of coming here for some much needed dose of coffee in the afternoon.

“Well, there are three hundred other things I can do in a movie set, you know?”, you ask, sitting beside him on the bench. “And I’m only complaining about the goddamn assignment, it’s only week 3! And also, don’t argue with the expert, ok?”

“You’re the one who started complaining about your gyosunim, you know? I just invited you for a coffee, you could’ve talked about the weather or I don’t know…” he takes a sip of his iced latte. “Now you’re gonna have to listen to my remarks”.

You roll your eyes at him and he laughs. Honestly, the thing Jin does the most in his existence is laughing. And he laughs like means it, like he’s actually enjoying the little things that happen every day. And, well, now you know him enough to know that he really is.

Your favorite thing about him is he’s not embarrassed of it. He feels genuinely comfortable in his own skin and that’s something you actually admire. Most of the time you spend together, you laugh at his gaudy laugh.

Being around him was, actually, a breath of fresh air. And you needed it desperately. You needed to feel like you were able to breathe again, without feeling the lingering sense of heaviness in your chest. And you are able to do that when he’s around. Your friendship is, in one word, refreshing.

“Do you mind?” You ask him, showing your pack of cigarettes.

“You know I don’t”, he answers with a soft tone, with the corner of his lips turned upwards.

You light up your cigarette, taking a long pull on it. You close your eyes for a second, feeling the instant relaxation the nicotine provides.

“As you told me to talk about the weather, here I go. It’s kinda hot today, isn’t it? Hate it”, you state it as you squint your eyes, looking at the clear blue skies. Today reminds you of a song Namjoon likes I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the Sun, I’m sick of songs about the summer and I hate everyone. Yeah, it was a good song. Also, your current mood.

“I mean, I hate it when I’m trapped between college and that stupid law firm”, he runs his hands through his hair, taking his fringe away from his eyes. He looks divine with his forehead exposed, his bleached locks messily parted to the sides highlighting how gorgeous his face looks.

Actually, Seokjin is bewitching. He didn’t only have a pretty face, he also had a very nice body combined with an amazing personality. He is a real knockout and especially right now, inside of a fucking tuxedo, it was unfair.

“But if the sun is still out on the weekend, we could go to the beach or something, what do you think? My family owns a house in Jeju, we could drive there on Friday night and come back on Sunday”, he continues.

“Yeah, I’d love to! Namjoon will be a hundred percent down too, he’s been talking about going to the beach nonstop”.

He bites his plump pink lips.

”Yeah… I was thinking more like, only the two of us… If you want to, of course”, he says it in a faint tone.

The invitation catches you off guard… Was he asking you on a date or something? A weekend in his family house? When did you two get to this level? Your brain was in full code red mode! You don’t want to say “no”, though.

But that’s the worst part, you didn’t feel like declining this invitation. Things between you and Jungkook were fine, weren’t they? Why did you feel like accepting an invitation to spend the weekend in Jeju island with another guy?

And why the fuck did Seokjin have to do that in person??? Doesn’t he know this kind of thing needs to be discussed with your friends first? The right thing to do was ask you via text message, so you could talk to Eunjoo before giving your final answer!! It’s the 21st century, doesn’t he know the rules? My God!

He cocks his head, never breaking eye contact. As much as his face remained stoic, you could see the anticipation in his eyes, they had a different blaze in them.

“It doesn’t have to be a date”, he tries again.

“Ok”, you just say it, flashing him a nice smile. “It’s nice of you, Jin”.

Well, fuck it. How could you say “no”? You definitely couldn’t. Not when he looked at you like that. So far, the only thing he wanted was to spend time with you, he never asked for anything in return. What’s the problem of spending a weekend with your friend? It’s a normal thing to do. It makes you soft… He makes you soft.

Fuck, why are you thinking those things about him? He’s just a friend.

“‘Ok’? Really? I thought you were about to say no”, he says, placing one of his hands on his chest dramatically. “It would be awful, I’d have to ignore you for the rest of my life”.

You laugh.

“Why?”

“Well, you’d hurt my ego, y’know? I’m not used to hearing ‘no’ when I ask someone out”, he replies with a smirk.

“You’ve just told me it doesn’t have to be a date, Kim Seokjin-ssi”, you squint, poking him on the chest with your free hand.

You take another pull at your cigarette, already feeling your head a little less heavy on your shoulders. Jin’s smirk still lingering on his lips. You could feel your cheeks burn as you blushed.

“Why are you smiling?”, you ask him, also smirking.

He doesn’t say anything and his eyes never leave you. Smirk untouched on his plump lips.

“Answer me!” You whine.

He parts his lips, but before any sound could leave his mouth, out the fucking blue, something hits your hand and your cigarette falls instantly to the floor. Dumbfounded, you look in the direction this sudden stroke came and you find a grumpy Namjoon, with his arms crossed, alongside a smiling Hobi.

The contrast, my friends…

“Really, Kim Namjoon-ssi?”

“You promised me you’d quit smoking, Y/n”, your brother states with an accusing tone.

“I will, but it’s a fucking process, you understand how the human brain works, don’t you, mister biologist? Give me time!” You point to the cigarette on the floor. “Also, this is pollution, you should know better”.

He huffs, but picks it up, putting it out on the metallic surface of the trash can and throws it away properly. Hobi and Jin just patiently watch the interaction between you and your brother, probably none of them feel like getting between family.

He, then, acts like nothing had happened, flashing a friendly smile in your direction, proudly showing his dimple to you.

“Hey, Jin, did Y/n invite you to come to the frat house tonight? There’ll be lots of tequila”, your brother asks, trying to sound as inviting as he could.

In the past few weeks, Eunjoo managed to persuade Namjoon into thinking it was a good idea to play matchmaking with you and Seokjin. So now he has joined her in the never ending quest to make the two of you fall in love. This was probably something he’d tell her later on today, how he “invited Seokjin over to the frat house so you two could spend more time together”. Both of them were positive you wouldn’t be able to resist much longer.

We’ll see. Only one of them knows about you and Jungkook and Eunjoo had a personal agenda against your relationship, so her opinion doesn’t count.

Jin cocks his brows and looks at you. You shake your head to him, furrowing your own brows.

“No, because my plans today involve studying fucking photography. I don’t know about you guys’ majors, but mine involves a hell lot of studying”, you turn to your brother as you answer him.

“Come on, Y/n! It’s gonna be just us”, Hobi gets closer to you, all excited. You notice he smells extra nice today.

“Is this a new perfume, Hobi?”, you sniff the air close to him.

“Yes! Why? Don’t you like it?” he asks hesitantly.

Weird, he’s always so confident. Luckily, Hobi’s mind works similarly to the mind of a toddler, you just need to keep on talking about his perfume and everyone else would have to stop talking about tonight’s gathering.

“I hope you do, cause it was fucking expensive!” He continues.

“He’s trying to smell nice for someone, don’t bother asking me who, because he refuses to tell us who it is. And since we’re here, Y/n, give him your female input, please”, Namjoon points to Hobi’s neck. “I can’t stand it anymore, he doesn’t stop talking about fucking perfumes… Maybe your opinion will make him drop the subject”.

“Woah, man, I have feelings, you know? Am I annoying you that much?”, he pouts.

“Nevermind my grumpy brother… Come here, Hobi”, you say, placing your hand on the side of his neck.

Hobi gets closer to you, tilting his head to the side so you could get as close as possible to his neck. You lean over to him, placing your nose on his warm skin, sniffing faintly and feeling the soft citrus scent emanating from him. It was really pleasant and if it was someone else’s neck, you’d be super turned one right now. Ok, maybe not in front of your brother, but you’d be dreaming about this neck for weeks.

Not that he was unattractive or anything, it’s just that Hobi wasn’t really your type, but you understand the appeal he had to the girls on campus. He is super cute, he has a heart of gold, a great sense of humour and he dances like a pro, his hips have a life of their own.

“So, what do you think?” he asks with doe-eyes, when he turns to face you again.

You hear Jin clearing his throat at your side.

“This might be the best scent I’ve smelled in my life, it’s amazing, Hobi, she’ll love it! Come back here…” you say as you place your hand back on Hobi’s neck, leaning over in his direction again.

“YAAA, Y/N! That’s enought” you feel Jin’s hands pulling you back by the hips, his big warm hands on your slim figure, as you let go of Hobi’s neck falling on your butt back on the bench you were sitting minutes ago. “Your coffee is getting cold, here”.

He states it, placing the plastic cup in your hands. You look at him dumbfounded. What is men’s problem? First of all, Hobi is your friend. Second of all, Jin is also just your friend.

Namjoon flashes you a grin, like he’s saying “see? Eunjoo and I are right about you two” with his fucking dragon eyes and throws an arm around Hobi’s shoulders.

“See? She will love it, now let’s get going…”, he kisses your forehead and waves Seokjin goodbye. “Text me when you get home, ok? Maybe I’ll spend the night at the frat house, not sure”.

“Ok, Joonie. Have fun”, you flash both of them a faint smile. “Bye, Hobi, good luck with your new girl”.

He mouths you a “thank you” and turns around, sprinting to join Namjoon, who was way ahead already, since he’s a fast walker due to his long legs. When you can no longer see Hobi and Joon, you look at Jin, who seemed to be way too busy with the lid of his cup to give you his attention right now.

“What was that about?”, the sound of your voice makes him look at you and you cock one of your eyebrows.

“What was what?”

“With Hobi… He’s my friend, you know?”

He smirks. He fucking decides to smirk right now. His fucking perfect smirk. Those white aligned teeth contrasting against his plump pinkish lips of his. He’s so goddamn handsome…

“Well, your coffee was getting cold… And I paid for it, you know? Didn’t want to hear you complaining it was spoiled and then throwing it away”, he states nonchalantly.

Of course, he always has a comeback.

“I see… Do you want your money back, then?”

“Of course not, in the future, I don’t want to hear you telling people that I made you pay for things on our dates”.

“Is this a date? I wasn’t aware”, you challenge.

“I didn’t tell you, because I was afraid you’d say no, but all of our coffees dates are actual dates in my mind”, he declares playfully as he checks his watch. “Hey, babygirl, I gotta get going, ok? Have to be in the office in 20”.

And yes, he had started calling you his babygirl.

Like, it wasn’t only that one time at the boys’ house, the pet name occasionally rolled off his tongue, like it was nothing and it always caught you off guard. You were fucking weak, you knew. You should definitely warn him you were already in a very complicated situation with Jungkook, you did not need to complicate things even further by stalling the guy.

But it was hard, ok? You are a human being, therefore, flawed. As you stated before, you are weak and your main weakness is: good-looking men. This is probably what got you into your “Jungkook situation” and that’s probably gonna lead you into a “Jin situation” in the near future. If only he was a little less… Well, a little less attentive, caring and a lot less handsome, you’d easily push him away. But yeah, you’re fucking weak.

And he’s a big boy, he should know better. He knows about you and Jungkook.

“Sure, Jinie”, you flash him a faint smile, as you get to your feet. “I’m trying to decide wether I should go home for a nap or be responsible and stay on campus so I can start working on that stupid fucking paper”.

“You know I’m older than you, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You should be calling me oppa instead of ‘Jinie’”.

“Oh, fuck you!” Despite your harsh words, your tone was light and playful.

“I mean it!” he gestures dramatically, again.

“No! I’m not calling you oppa, Seokjin!” You cut him off, while you suppress a laugh.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that… Anyway, you just told them how bad you need to study… I think you already have your answer”, he pats your head.

“Ugh! I know”, you confess as you roll your eyes.

“Then, let’s get going, I’ll walk you to the library”.

He says it as he grabs your hand, not entwining your fingers, just holding it like mothers do to their kids when crossing a street. It, again, catches you off guard. You don’t really know how to react, you just allow him to hold it, looking at his long fingers wrapped around your much smaller hand, guiding you through the gigantic campus.

You and Jungkook never held hands like this, in front of people, there was always a reason to hide. Holding hands in public made something in your chest feel warm. It felt nice.

You’ve been sitting on your ass for the last three and a half hours, reading a copy of “Cinematography: Theory and Practice”. If anyone asks, you’d never admit it, but it’s been a pleasant read (as pleasant as studying goes, of course). Photography isn’t that bad, actually.

Jungkook would laugh at you hard if you ever admit that. But, of course, you wouldn’t. You were a proudful human being.

Even though you didn’t come to the library as much as you should, whenever you do, you end up not really wanting to leave. Maybe it was the relaxing atmosphere or the smell of books, but there is something that makes you want to spend your whole day studying. Well, maybe that’s why libraries exist in the first place. And as much as you’d like to stay, you notice the sun is already set. It’s time to go.

While you gather your stuff, you check your phone and you notice that you hadn’t touched it this whole time. Both Jimin and Jungkook had texted you.

chim chim 🐥 [5:49 pm]: are u home?

chim chim 🐥 [5:49 pm]: if u are, can i come over after practice? real quick

You [7:11 pm]: sorry, i was studying. not home now, but i’ll be soon

You [7:11 pm]: and of course you can come over

You [7:11 pm]: see ya soon 💛

Now, thinking about it, you hadn’t had the opportunity to catch up with Jimin after that night at the frat house, it’d be nice to see him. He probably was going to try to convince you to leave your cave tonight, but he would never do it openly, so it would be easy to be evasive.

kookie [4:28 pm]: what the fuck have i just seen?

You [7:11 pm]: what?? now i’m curious

You [7:11 pm]: sorry i didnt see your text, kookie

You [7:11 pm]: i was studying

After that, you put your phone in your pocket and head home. All you could think of now was taking a hot relaxing shower.

“I know the situation is absolutely shitty, but don’t isolate yourself… Please”, Jimin asks you as he squeezes your cheeks. “Ok, cutie pie?”

“I’m not!” you jerk your head away from his grasp. “But some days are worse than others… I wanna stay in today, plus I really need to study, there’s an assignment that I need to start working on already. I also wanna spend some time with myself. I’m gonna play some relaxing piano tracks and get some work done, since I’ll have the house for myself. I’ll be ok, Chim, really”.

He raises his small pinky to you. Jimin’s hands are chubby and you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve bitten his fingers when you couldn’t resist its cuteness. He hates it.

“I pinky promise I’ll be ok”, you say as you hook your pinkies together.

“Ok, then, I’ll leave you to your paper”, he starts to walk towards the door, his gym bag hanging over his right shoulder.

He really came right after his dance practice, he looked a bit tired, you notice his black hair looked slightly messy under his white cap. It warms your heart seeing he cares enough to come over on a Thursday night just to check up on your dispirited ass, even though he probably had a long day too.

When he reaches the front door, he turns around with open arms, inviting you into a hug. You mimic his body posture and hook your body with his, as he wraps his arms tightly around you. Jimin’s hugs were always comforting and warm, it was just like hugging Namjoon, those kinds of hugs that make you feel like things are gonna be alright again. You’re gonna be happy again.

“If you need me, just text me, alright?” he whispers to you and you can feel the warmth in his voice. “It takes me less than ten minutes to get here”.

“Ok, Chim”.

“I love you”.

“I love you”.

Then, he turns around and leaves.

You’re finally alone. Closing the door after Jimin, you allow yourself to take a deep breath. You’ve been holding back tears pretty much the entire day, but now that you are alone it feels like you can’t cry. You are mostly tired.

Tired of yourself, of this situation. Of this big obscure hole in your chest that never seems to disappear. You are also very tired of this lingering numbness this hole seems to be holding inside of you. You could use one of Jimin’s hugs again.

You think of Jungkook and how much you miss him. When he was here, the other night, you felt your chest least heavy with this sense of numbness inside. Would it be wrong to want to feel that again? Is it wrong chasing after him?

Maybe, but who cares? You decided to text him.

Not Eunjoo. Not Namjoon. Not Jimin. You wanted to talk and to be with him. And none of the aforementioned people had the effect he had on you, you loved all of them to death, but they couldn’t be compared to Jungkook. The last text sent to him, still unread, left you still wondering what had happened in today’s afternoon.

You [8:33 pm]: heyyy, having fun?

As much as he hadn’t replied to the last couple of texts, you don’t think it will take him long to reply. He usually texts back quickly, since he’s always with his phone. Actually, he usually texts you back quickly. You hear the boys complaining all the time that Jungkook doesn’t even have the decency to leave them on read, he just doesn’t even bother. He’s just distracted, poor boy.

A minute passes, while you’re staring at your phone’s screen as you anticipate the three dots to appear on your screen when he starts typing his response. But they don’t.

Yeah, he’s at a pseudo party, it was naive of you to think he’d be with his phone. He’s with the boys, you bet they’re getting shitfaced with tequila right now. As much as you’d like to talk to him, it’s fine. You’d be fine. You had to learn how to deal with your shit by yourself, you didn’t have to drag Jungkook along.

You decide to check your Instagram feed, it’s always been the social network you had the most fun while using. You see Jungkook’s profile picture on the top of your screen, which indicates he’s posted a story recently and you decide to check it.

A picture of him and Tae 2 minutes ago. You check the time on the top of your screen. 8:36 pm. Ok, he was kinda busy and he probably had something to drink. Maybe sending him another text would work, since he has his phone with him now for sure.

You [8:37 pm]: kookie, can you call me? i don’t feel so good

You [8:37 pm]: really wanna talk to you

You [8:37 pm]: actually, i’d love to talk to you, don’t need to

Ok, sent. You wait for a few seconds, expecting to see the three dots, but they don’t appear. Back to Instagram, you see Jungkook’s profile picture again, he’s posted another story. You check it again, you see that he and the guys were playing beer pong, you know they love to play it. Taehyung was especially good at it, he was probably winning, as always.

It was posted less than a minute ago.

Less than a fucking minute ago. It means he was deliberately ignoring your texts, he had his phone in his fucking hands while you were trying to reach out to him. The only thing you wanted was to be able to listen to his voice. You are so fucking dumb.

Then it hits you. At the end of the day, that’s how you were always going to be: alone. And it hurts. You’ve always respected the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship. That only to find out that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You waited around and you never complained, you allowed him his liberty and you were there, when he needed you. And he’s needed you very often in these past few years. You were always there for him when he looked for you.

Now you need him. Did he even care? Could he at least pretend he does?

He doesn’t even have the decency to text you back. He knows what you’re going through right now and as much as he says he’s here for you, now, when you really need him, he’s not. You feel stupid and ashamed of yourself for trusting him.

It hurts. You feel the tears finally rolling down your cheeks as you feel your heart sinking into your chest. Everything hurts. The tsunami of emotions that hits you brings every single and each feeling you had hidden inside of yourself in these past months.

You think of your mom, of this sense of rejection, of the feeling of never being enough, of Jungkook, of loneliness, of this big hole in your chest that only seems to get bigger and bigger. All at the same time, all of these feelings, almost choking you. The tears never ceasing to stream down your face.

Your phone dings. In a haist, you unlock its screen, not to find the text message you were waiting for.

jin [8:44 pm]: hey, bbygirl

jin [8:44 pm]: what u doin?

And even though this wasn’t the text message you were waiting for, seeing Jin’s name on your phone’s screen did not make you feel disappointed at all. On the contrary, it automatically brought a smile to your face.

You [8:44 pm]: looking for something to watch

You [8:44 pm]: and you?

Yes, you lie. He didn’t need to know about your meltdown.

jin [8:44 pm]: to what do i owe the honor of such a fast reply?

You [8:44 pm]: when i take long to reply, you complain

You [8:44 pm]: when i don’t, you also complain

You [8:44 pm]: can i ever win, seokjin?

jin [8:45 pm]: hey, watch your language

jin [8:45 pm]: to you i’m baby, not seokjin

You [8:45 pm]: 🙄

jin [8:45 pm]: who’s complaining? i’m just surprised

jin [8:45 pm]: anyway

jin [8:45 pm]: came to see yoongi and eunjoo, thought about u

jin [8:45 pm]: just wanted to check up on u

jin [8:45 pm]: i know u r alone today

You [8:46 pm]: honestly?

jin [8:46 pm]: of course

You [8:46 pm]: not great, but i’ll be alright

jin [8:46 pm]: want me to come over?

You [8:46 pm]: don’t worry about me, i’ll be ok

You [8:47 pm]: also dont tell joo

jin [8:47 pm]: ok, wont tell eunjoo

jin [8:47 pm]: but let me rephrase that. do u want company? i wanna see you

You [8:47 pm]: i do

jin [8:47 pm]: ok, luvs

jin [8:47 pm]: i’ll be there in 20

The doorbell rings and you rush to the door. You are nervous. Why are you nervous? It’s Jin! He’s your friend, you are used to being around him. You shake your head, trying to focus on your breathing. Fucking anxiety!

You swing the door open only to find a smiling Seokjin. You can’t help but to smile back. He is wearing a light pink hoodie, a pair of jeans and a black cap. He looks cute, as always, and you notice he’s wearing a different perfume, maybe it was a new one, yes. It was out of this world, wow. He had his hands raised and from them hanged two white plastic bags.

“Heey! What’s this?”, you ask with your brows furrowed, as you step aside, inviting him in.

“I figured you could use a burger”, he says as he walks in your home. “But if you don’t feel like it-”

“No, I do feel like it!”, he smiles, after your excited interruption. “Thanks, oppa!” You finish with an affected tone, batting your eyelashes at him.

He studies your face for a second, his eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips. His gaze glistens with mischief, then, a second later they soften.

“Keep calling me oppa and you’ll see what’s gonna happen”.

“What?” You deadpan.

“I better not say it, Y/n…”

You roll your eyes; and he laughs. You mouth him a “go ahead” as you turn to close the front door.

“So, I kinda of don’t have a living room, sorry”, you point to Namjoon’s bedroom door. “Namjoon’s room leads to our small and humble balcony, do you want to sit over there?”

“I helped your move, remember? I know your place already”.

“Oh”, you didn’t remember, but it’s true, he helped Namjoon and the boys. You continue. “Yeah. So… We don’t have much to do here, sorry. We can either watch something on my computer or sit on the balcony and eat our hamburgers while stargazing”.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m here to spend time with you, I’m down to whatever it is you’d like to do”, he shifts. “Even if you want to vent out or if you just need a shoulder to cry on. I’m here”.

And there he is, doing it again. Making you feel funny inside.

“I-Well…”, you’re pathetic. It feels like you suddenly forgot how to speak. “I mean, I don’t want to bore you… Wh-what do you prefer?”

“Why don’t we eat outside? I know you’re fond of looking at the night sky”, he suggests with a gentle smile.

“I think this is the first time you agree with anything I’ve said tonight!” You state excitedly.

“Of course! The Last Airbender is for a fact, the best thing that happened… And please, understand I’m not saying it’s the best thing that happened on TV in this century, I’m saying it’s the best thing that happened in this century, period”.

“I agree wholeheartedly, Seokjin! Seriously” you tighten your hold around his hand as you say the last word.

Yes, you are holding hands with Jin. Again. This time, you weren’t worried about prying eyes or anything like that. Not that you were worried earlier today while he walked you to the library, but you felt different. You couldn’t explain precisely, but you felt more at ease with it now.

You had finished eating the burgers he brought, they really tasted wonderful. He bragged about knowing the best places to eat in town, due to his profound expertise in cooking when you pointed out how good they tasted. He was insufferable, sometimes.

Luckily, tonight there were no clouds in the sky, as far as your eyes could see, so you could actually stargaze as you ate your burger. There was also an occasional night breeze that blew softly through your hair whenever you felt the night was getting sultry. It was quite an agreeable night and Seokjin’s company was much appreciated.

You two had spent hours just talking. He started telling you all he knew about the proper way to clean lettuce and then, at some point, you lost track of time and space. You originally wanted to show him how Venus was close to the moon tonight, leaning over the balcony grid, as you always do at night and he followed you. That’s how you ended up where you are now.

Of course you weren’t romantically holding his hand, you were just overly excited with the fact that he was also a huge fan of your favorite TV show. You couldn’t really explain how your hand ended up wrapped around his, but there you were, excitedly talking about Prince Zuko’s impeccable redemption arc.

“I think my favorite episode is that one where we find out that Avatar Roku is also Prince Zuko’s great grandfather, you know? On book three”.

“Oh my God, Seokjin! Mine too!” You answer him excitedly, with an annoyingly high pitched voice. “‘The Avatar and the Firelord’… When we start to realize Aang and Zuko’s destinies are tied with deeper bonds than they think, I love it so much!”

“Fuck, Y/n! The more I get to know you, the harder it gets…”, he states with his lips curling in a sort of smirk, his gaze kinda distant, but never leaving your eyes.

“What’s harder?”, you ask him, quirking one of your brows.

“Nah, nevermind”.

“Seokjin!”

“Forget it…”

“That’s unfair! You know I’m curious”, you whine, the affected tone almost back in your voice.

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah!”

“Promise you won’t get mad at me for saying it?”

“I won’t”, you state, raising one of your hands dramatically.

“Really?”

“Jin!”

“Ok, if you insist”, he licks his lips, then he continues. “The more I get to know you, the harder it gets not to be head over heels for you”.

He just says it, as if he was informing you the time. You feel your cheeks burning as your heartbeat starts to get faster. You feel like a teenager, it was silly. He makes you feel silly. You’re speechless right now. Your mind was racing, like, this is some serious shit to say to someone!

Yeah, you liked being around him and talking to him and he was pretty much an angel. But you had Jungkook, you lo… like Jungkook a lot. What you have is not over yet, that’s the truth. And you’re not like Jungkook, you don’t want to lead Jin on, it wouldn’t be fair to him. He is genuinely a nice guy, like, really nice and also a close friend. You do care a lot about him.

You look away. You are weak and the way he looked at you made you feel even weaker. The right thing to do is to tell him that you are in the most complicated moment of your life, so far. You’ve lost your mother and you had feelings for Jungkook. But it feels like the words got stuck in your throat. You are so fucking weak.

You open your mouth, trying to find anything to say, but it’s in vain.

“You don’t have to say anything back, you know? I understand you and Jungkook-ssi have… Something going on. But I don’t really care”, he places his pointer finger under your chin, turning your face in his direction, so you’d look at him. His touch setting your entire face on fire. “I just want you to know that when you realize you deserve best, I’ll be around and all you have to do is to give me a chance”.

You just realize he’s just said that while holding your hand, looking you intensely in the eyes. You really don’t know what to say, it moves you to know someone thinks these things about you. That warm feeling spreads all over your chest again and you know it’s no use trying to stop it.

You pull your hand softly and Jin lets go of it. You scratch your brow. You were silent. Truth is, you didn’t know what to say yet, because you don’t know exactly what you’re feeling. You feel like a fucking teenager!

“You… Shouldn’t waste your time with me, Jin, really”, you try.

“Don’t worry, babygirl, I’ve wasted my time with worse ones”, he says as he pats your head.

“Hey!”, you protest, slapping his arm.

And there it is: his laugh. If it belonged to anyone else it would be the most annoying sound in the world. Yet, it isn’t. Instead of being a source of annoyance, it actually always makes you laugh as well.

“It’s true, Y/n! The last one got me bleaching my fucking hair!”.

“Was a girl the reason why you bleached your hair? Ok! Now I need to know the full story!”

“No fucking way, I’m not telling you!”

“Please, oppa!” You whine with the same affected tone as before.

“Aish, it’s not an amusing story, Y/n”, he says as he suppresses a laugh.

“I don’t care, I’m just curious… But if it makes you uncomfortable or anything, nevermind”.

“Fuck… I hate you! You’re manipulating me!” The laugh he was trying to suppress finally comes out and he flashes you the most beautiful and genuine smile.

“I’m not! I swear, really, if it makes you feel weird, you don’t need to tell me”.

“It’s just ridiculous, Yoongi already scolded me for it… Anyway, I don’t know if Eunjoo already mentioned I had a girlfriend…”, he looks at you, squinting his eyes as he cocks one of his eyebrows.

“Yeah, she mentioned you broke up with your ex recently”.

She did more than that, being the gossip she was, not that you had any complaints, because you liked being informed, you know? She told you everything she knew about Jin’s ex-girlfriend, who apparently managed to make every single one of Jin’s friends hate her guts.

“So, yeah. We broke up recently”, he sighs. “We were together for a year and… Anyway, she wasn’t very nice. And near the end, one day, she told me I was. What did she say exactly? Oh, boring and predictable”, he lets out a humourless laugh and your heart sinks. He is none. He continues. “And when we broke up, like, permanently… Her words kept replaying in a loop in my mind”. His gaze was a little distant now, not really looking you in the eyes.

“They aren’t true, by the way. You know that, right?” You tried your best not to interrupt him as he spoke and when he paused for a second, you took the opportunity to state it.

“Yeah… I kinda know?”, he looks at you again. His gaze, now, warmer. “She hurt me a little and… I decided to do something different with my hair. I don’t know why, I just didn’t want to feel like I was boring and predictable. And you were the first one to compliment my new hairstyle, by the way, that’s why I haven’t dyed it black again”.

You can’t help but smile. After the shitty things we went through with his ex, he keeps his bleached locks, because you like them. Was he even real? Fuck!

“Why do you have to be so sweet, Seokjin?” You snort a faint laugh through your nose.

“I don’t know, babygirl… That’s just my amazing personality shining through”, he answers, both corners of his mouth lifting in a flirtatious smile. “Just hope it doesn’t take long for you to let your guard down for me as well…”

You can’t help but let the corners of your mouth lift in a smirk. You feel your face hot. Your cheeks were burning, you were probably as red as a cherry right now. The funny feeling inside already spreaded through your body. He messes with you big time. This would definitely not end well and if you knew better you’d back the fuck off from this. But you notice that with Jin the hole inside of you seems to get smaller as well.

You look him in the eyes, not averting his intense gaze. You smile again and he follows you, his cheeks squeezing his eyes into little crescent moons. You can’t help but notice how beautiful his eyes are, as well.

Especially when he smiles and they look like the moon.

“You’re impossible, Jin!”

“Yeah, maybe”, he declares nonchalantly. He takes his phone from his pocket and checks the time. “Do you have any morning classes tomorrow?”

“Yes… why?”

“Well, I better get going, then. It’s late for those of us who are responsible adults”, he states as he shows you his phone screen.

“That rules out most of my friends and my brother from the ‘responsible adults’ list”.

Jin shrugs. You both laugh.

“Do you need help cleaning or something?”

“No, Jinie, I got it. I’ll just throw away the to-go boxes, don’t worry”.

“Ok, so, can you walk me to the door?”

“Sure, Jinie”, you say with a faint smile, leading the way to your front door as he follows you. “Thanks for tonight, really”.

“Anytime, babygirl”, he answers as he puts on his sneakers. “Sure you’re gonna be ok by yourself?”

“Relax, I’ll be alright”.

“Ok, then. If you need anything, just text me, alright?”

You nod. He extends his arms and places his large hands on your lower back as he cuddles you in the folds of his arms. You sink your face into his chest as you feel the soft ambrosial aroma of his perfume again. You feel almost intoxicated, but you manage to wrap your arms politely and affectionately around him as well.

He places a kiss on your forehead, his plump lips felt like silk against your skin. The smell of his perfume, the warmth of his arms around you and, now, the tender kiss on your forehead made your stomach flip and you can swear you almost felt dizzy.

Hugging him feels right and you have to stop yourself from complaining when he pulls away from you.

“Oh, before I forget… Check my Instagram story”, he turns around, opening the door, so he can leave. “Bye, Y/n. See you tomorrow”.

“Bye, Jinie. Drive safe!”

He nods, as he closes the door behind himself. You sigh. It always feels like you hold too much air in your lungs when you are around Seokjin.

Of course, you hastily check his Instagram story and, for maybe the hundredth time today, Jin makes your chest feel a funny warmth.

“He went to your house?!” Eunjoo screams in a high pitched voice at the other end of the line.

“Who? Jin?!” You hear Yoongi’s muffled and distant voice as Eunjoo shushes him.

“Yeah, bitch, he did, but stop screaming in my ears or else I won’t tell you anything”.

“Fuck you, I have every goddamn right to be over the moon here! When I saw his story I was like ‘oh my gawd’!”

“Joo, he was so frigging cute… He brought food and we were sitting here on my balcony for hours just talking away”.

“Wait until I tell your brother about this!”

“Grow up, Choi Eunjoo!”

“Jeez, I’m just happy ok? Chill, Kim Y/n!” She giggles. “But he’s amazing, isn’t he? You two will look great together, I’ve always known”.

Before you could reply, you feel your phone vibrating insistently in your hand.

“Yeah, right… Hey, Joo, I gotta go, ok? Someone’s sending me dozens of texts… I think Namjoon is trying to talk to me. Knowing him, it’s quite possible he’s desperate because he lost his keys or something…”

“Classic Kim Namjoon”, she laughs. “Ok, lovey, I’m going to bed anyway. You know I’m an early riser… But I just want to warn you, you won’t escape from giving me the full report tomorrow”.

“Alright, woman… Good night and love you”.

“Love you too”.

As you hang up, another text comes in and your phone vibrates again. Through the phone screen, you see it isn’t Namjoon who has been texting you, it’s Jungkook.

After he ignored your texts, he has some fucking nerve.

kookie

5 Text Messages (sent now)

Should you open his texts or not?

He didn’t deserve your tears then and he certainly doesn’t deserve your attention now, you could hear Eunjoo’s voice in your head. And yeah… he literally has ignored you for hours, when he knew you were sad. Your mom passed away and he knew you were feeling down, but he chose to ignore you either way. He could kiss your ass now.

Better than to ignore him, is to leave him on read. He gets pissed when you do it.

kookie [00:39 am]: are you home?

kookie [00:39 am]: heyyyy i know yoi aren’t asleep yet answr me

kookie [00:39 am]: y/n!!!!!!!

kookie [00:39 am]: Y/N!! i need talk to u

kookie [00:40 am]: i’ll call you if you font text me bacj

By the way he’s been typing, you notice he’s not only inconvenient, he’s also very drunk. Oh, fuck that. He can text his fucking girlfriend, instead.

When you open his previous messages, three dots appear on the screen and he continues.

kookie [00:40 am]: fuck what was he doing ay your place on a fucking thursday eveninh????

kookie [00:40 am]: you two are fucking i knoq you are

kookie [00:40 am]: i’m gonna bEAT THE SHIT OYT OF HIM YOU’LL SEE

kookie [00:40 am]: he’s gonna have to leave at somw point and ill be here ready to kik his fuckinh ass

Your blood boils. Was he talking about Jin? He had to have some fucking balls to talk to you like that, huh?

You [00:40 am]: wtf are u talking about???

You [00:40 am]: go to sleep, jungkook, ur drunk

kookie [00:40 am]: babeeeeeeeeee

kookie [00:40 am]: please let me in

kookie [00:40 am]: i’m down here i just wanna see yoy

You [00:40 am]: i don’t want to talk to you, jungkook

You [00:40 am]: go home

You [00:41 am]: i have early classes tomorrow, gotta go to bed

You [00:41 am]: you should do the same

You [00:41 am]: bye

You sent him these texts and locked your phone screen. Enough, you’ve had enough of this. Running your fingers through your hair, you let out a heavy sigh, with frustration running through your entire body.

Your phone vibrates again in your hand. But this time, it wasn’t due to a text message. It’s him… He is calling you.

kookie

iPhone

“What do you want?” You ask harshly, as you hear his breathing through the phone.

ozone | pjm

pairing ↠ ex!jimin x reader

genre ↠ angst

beta-read by ↠ @hoebii

word count ↠ 1.3k

warnings ↠ mentions of cheating, driking.

summary ↠ when you find out your ex Park Jimin, whom you had cheated on in the past, is getting married, all you can think about is alcohol. at some point, you end up calling him, as you often do whenever you remember you've lost the love of your life.

A/N  ↠ hi, yall! recently I've spent a huge amount of hours listening to Chase Atlantic and I got uber inspired with this scenario hahaha as you can see, I'm a drama queen and I'm a huge fan of angst.

I just wanted to try some new stuff and this it it, writing has been my therapy and I decided I wouldn't be embarrassed about it anymore. so here it is, I hope if this reaches anyone, it can be an enjoyable read. I also want to thank @hoebii for taking the time to read this and help me make it better.

as always, here's a humble playlist with the songs that inspired me.

feedback is always appreciated ♡

“Y/n?” You hear his hoarse voice through the phone.

Naturally, he was already asleep. It’s 3:23 am of a fucking weekday, of course he was already asleep. He probably fell asleep with her nestled comfortably against his chest. You could feel the sourness of the whisky coming back to your mouth, as the images of this particular scene fill your mind.

It should be you in there, not her.

It should be you, but it wasn’t because you fucked it up. You fucked everything up, because you got carried away. You fucked up, because, as always, you didn’t value what you had and took things for granted. You took Park Jimin for granted. Nothing was ever enough. You have a nice job, a nice car, a nice flat, nice friends, a nice family and a cute little puppy waiting for you when you get home.

And you had him, until you fucked it up. You got bored, for, again, nothing ever seemed to be good enough for you. You thought so about him until you lost him.

How silly.

“Hi, Jimin”, you smiled to yourself.

“Is everything ok? It’s-”

“Yeah, it’s three in the morning, I know”.

It was a mistake, of course, calling your ex in the middle of the night. But then again, he was the one who told you could call him if you ever felt sad.

He promised, actually. He promised he would always be there for you whenever you felt sad, even if you broke up. And, well, it happened. You broke up and you tried not to think about him, but apparently someone should remind you that when you got drunk. You made it almost a habit. Whenever you get drunk, you don't seem to remember that you have been trying to forget Jimin in these past couple of years.

“Where are you? Have you been drinking?” He asks you, his voice still hoarse. It sends chills down your spine.

“I’ve had a few shots, yeah”.

He sighs. You listen to a muffled voice on the other end. Her voice, probably, since you are calling someone else’s fiance in the middle of the night. It’s a fucking Wednesday night, for fuck’s sake, you’re so pathetic.

“It’s nothing, love, go back to sleep”, he whispers.

After listening to him calling her love, you feel even more pathetic. What are you doing? Calling your ex in the middle of the night to fucking whine at his upcoming wedding? Is this what you became? Fucking pathetic.

Silence.

Maybe he’s hung up.

“I’m sorry, Y/n…”, he says in a normal voice tone. “You never answered my question… Where are you? Do you want me to send a car to pick you up? It’s pretty late”.

“No, thanks. I-”

“Are you alone?”

You swallow. Who would bear to be in your company tonight? Tonight you are just a bitter old memory of yourself, after drinking your dignity away. You wouldn't put your friends through that, you can take care of yourself. This isn’t the first and, certainly, wouldn't be the last time this scenario happens.

“Yeah”.

“I’ll send you a car, it’s too late for y-”

“Congrats on your engagement, honey”, you interrupt him. “Seokjin told me…”

More silence on his end.

“Oh… Yeah…”, he was silent for a moment, again, but then he continued. “Thanks”.

“You two must be over the moon”, you suggest, contorting your face involuntarily.

“I mean… Yes, I’m happy, thank you for your consideration”.

“I miss you, Chim”, you say before you can stop yourself. “And somewhere deep down you must miss me too… Answering a phone call from your crazy ex in the middle of the night”.

“Y/n, why are you calling? What do you want?” He sighs. “If you need some company, call your friends. Do you want me to try to get in touch with Seokjin?”

As much as he tried, he could not be rude or impolite. He is the most considerate person you've ever had the pleasure to meet. He wasn’t rude to you then, when you cheated on him after four years of a steady and serious relationship, and he isn’t being rude to you now. You honestly don’t know if you’d rather if he had just made a scene. If he had picked up the phone and told you to go fuck yourself, he’d make it easier for you to hate him.

Maybe that’s what you’re after, maybe you need him to be rude, to yell at you, to call you names, to unleash his resentment. But he never did so, he just withdrew from your life.

You shared the same friend group, so he stopped showing up when he knew you’d be around. He started doing groceries at some other place. He looked for a new movie theater to attend. Slowly, Jimin disappeared from your life, taking every trace of you with him.

“I’m a big girl, honey, I can take care of myself”, you snort. “I just want to apologize… Chim, I’m so, so sorry”.

“Don't… Don't do that, Y/n. Don't apologize, it’s ancient history. Really. I’ve already told you I forgive you, I don’t hold any grudges, you can move on with your life, for real!”

“That’s the thing, Chim, I don’t think I’ll ever get over you”, you confess.

One more time, there’s nothing but silence.

You continue. “But, babe, if you give me just one chance, just one more try, I’ll prove you that I’m changed…”

Dignity, what's that? Right now, you had no idea. You feel your eyes welling up with tears, making the lights behind the bar’s counter become fuzzy. Shades of blue, red and purple mixed up in front of your watery eyes, as you wait for Jimin to say something.

“I need to go, Y/n… It’s late”.

“Babe, this is probably my last chance to say this-”

“Please, Y/n, don’t call me that”.

He never answers your propositions directly. Of course he doesn’t, he’s to good to tell you to fuck yourself or something similar. Deep down, you now these phone calls only make you seem stupid and desperate and you’d regret calling him as soon as you hung up. But, well, you were kind of stupid and desperate. You know the only thing you could do right now is to watch him go, but it hurts. You’re gonna lose him for good now. It was all your fault.

He’s getting married. It’s over.

“Yeah, yeah… I’m sorry I called you, I don’t know what I was thinking”, you let out a humourless laugh, wiping the tears that rolled down your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“As I’ve said before, there's no need to apologize. You were never one who apologizes, it just feels like it doesn't suit you”, he continued. “Take care of yourself, ok?”

“You too”.

He laughs softly, just to show you he heard what you’ve said. “Good night, Y/n”.

“Good night, Jimin… I love you”.

“I loved you too… Very much so”.

You hear the click as he hangs up. More silence. You sit on the bar stool, mulling over your past mistakes, blaming yourself. You are to blame and the worst part of it is that you know it is your fault. No one else’s. You would be the one on his bed tonight, if you hadn’t been so selfish.

If only you hadn’t been so selfish. If only you hadn’t been so self centered. If only you hadn’t been so… You.

Now his I love yous belong to someone else’s ear. His hugs belong to someone else’s body. His kisses to someone else’s lips. You have really lost him for good. He’s getting married.

You snort at yourself.

You tuck your phone back into the front pocket of your jeans. You look at the bartender, he looks back at you with tired eyes. He stood leaning against the black wall behind him, with his arms folded as he looked at you. You mouth him “another one, please”. And that’s where you spend the night until the sun rises, not taking any ounce of your guilt and pain away.

My fav writer just put her masterlist up 🗣🗣 she’s currently writing the best series go check it out goodnight n go

♡ Welcome to my m.list! Hope you enjoy my stories. Feedback is always appreciated ♡

Please, do not reproduce my works onto any other platforms without my permission.

♡ Please, do not read fics that are not appropriate for your age ♡

♡ coming soon

— series

ᛜ goodnight n go (+18)

mini masterlist | on going | college au | angst, fluff and smut

why'd have to be so cute?

it's impossible to ignore you

why must you make me laugh so much?

it's bad enough we get along so well

♡ coming soon

♡ coming soon

— drabbles

ᛜ ozone

ex! jimin x reader | angst

goodbyes are, for me, a tear without even knowing, it blooms around my eyes the words that I could not bring myself to say flow down and lingering regret crawls over my face

♡ coming soon

— series

ᛜ goodnight n go (+18)

mini masterlist | on going | college au | angst, fluff and smut

i'm so different when you're not there

it's like something out of shakespeare

because i'm really not here when you're not there

i've tried to fight our energy

but everytime i think i'm free you get high and call on the regular

i get weak and fall like a teenager

why does god keep bringing me back to you?

—

Copyright © 2021, seokjins-luigi on tumblr.

this is gonna be so good, i'm dying to read!!!!!!

𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕨𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 • 𝕥𝕨𝕠 - 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖𝕣

SUMMARY: It’s the first day of senior year. Harrison and Tom got everyone’s eyes on them, but Tom only has his eyes for a certain someone and she’s willing to get to know him better.

Based on my one-shot, Flawless.

PAIRING: Rich!Tom Holland x Rich!Reader (Best Friends to Lovers AU)

WORDS: 914 (Teaser); 9.2K (Chapter)

WARNINGS: Swearing, mentions of sex, underage drinking.

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CHAPTER COMING ON AUGUST 10TH

                      𝕥𝕨𝕠 • 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕝𝕪

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