So.... I Have A Little Thing. There Is 1 Plot Point I Adore With My Small Weak Soul.

So.... I have a little thing. There is 1 plot point I adore with my small weak soul.

Christian had a kid with Barney.

It was said as a random line in the gundum episode and doesnt exactly fit in the timeline, but I just find it canon now

Shady Paws lost his owners again.

But he's not worried, they've gone on adventures without him several times and they came back everytime. The first time they left, Shady Paws thought they were gone for good.

He looked all around the house and found a swirling portal. He didn't trust the portal and growled at it, but then he heard Ivan's laugh and ran into the portal.

He used to chase them everytime they left, scared that they were going to leave him for good. But now he knows better. Now he waits at their house like a good boy.

Because he knows that they wouldn't abandon him, they love him.

Even if Ivan tried to make the crew sacrifice him in one scenario. Even if Chilly forgot his name. Even if Curt keeps forgetting he has a dog.

They love him, he knows this.

So he stays in the living room, waiting for them to come back and pet him.

(Sitting in front of the portal, staring at it)

I agree. She doesn't need corruption to be evil. She's Gem... she's already a little crazy :)

@rose-lizzzy was talking to me about an AU she had in mind, and I managed to squeeze Corrupted Gem into it.

Am I a little obsessed?

Honestly that opinion is why I like Moose Gem better.

It makes more geographic sense but other then that? Moose as scary! They are some pretty powerful beasts who fuck you up if you piss them off. They can come from nowhere and fuck you up. Are they still prey? Technically. But nothing wants to even some close to them! They don't need a reason to be scary they just are!

However I normally headcanon Secret Gem as a Goat. Mostly cause I already made Hermitcraft Gem a Moose. But still. Goat are fierce, they are powerful. They can also fuck you up if you don't pay attention to the death screams.

Let Gem be who she is.... a force of nature uncontrollable by any means

People seem to think that Gem is very sweet cute and cottagecorey. And thats part of the reason I kinda dislike the deer headcanon. Cause deer are prey animals and yea they can fight back but they fight for either for breeding rights or for defense.

Gem is a predator. She craves murder. Which is part of the reason I simultaneously like deer Gem, cause there's an uncanny valley vibe there.

And Gem seems to nail eerie stories in my opinion. Things that seem perfect and peaceful at first glance but theres a darkness hidden beneath.

Her palace on Hermitcraft is implied to be alive. There's a creepy basement and a library strategically placed to drown out the sound of the monsters falling to their death.

Gem's character is also an otherworldly being that's like...She's like The Collector from The Owl House. I think it was implied she doesn't understand that not everything is a game. She was forced out of Empires by will o wisp but I don't remember her last ep very well

And now in Secret Life she's constantly bringing death everywhere and lets herself drown in a need to kill

Can people start talking about how fucking spooky Gem is sometimes

local menace becomes local menacing

timelapse:

what hermit you should fight IRL

Mumbo Jumbo: I mean yes, he’s a giant, and yes, according to the lore irl he’s trained in martial arts. But have you seen him? I bet you could distract him with a word puzzle and take him down in a single sucker punch.

Docm77: The GOATFATHER will not pause until you are destroyed. It might take a while, but he will go without sleep or rest to enact his judgment. DO NOT FIGHT DOC.

Bdubs: Uhhhhh. So have you ever looked at a man and went “that guy fights dirty”? Bdubs is 5′7″ of pure spite and he will wear your head as a trophy.

Joe Hills: Oh yeah you’d beat Joe in a fight. But you wouldn’t WIN the fight. He’d write a poem about it and his chat would jeer at you and somehow you would still feel bad. Consider not fighting Joe.

ZombieCleo: She’s an elementary school teacher. Not only should you not fight Cleo, I bet she knows enough about how to defuse a fight that you physically can’t fight Cleo. (But if she decides to throw down you lose.)

Ethoslab: DO NOT FIGHT ETHO. The man is a cryptid. For all we know he’s a werewolf. Plus I’ve seen him play Among Us, you would not come out of that fight looking or feeling good. Do not fight Etho.

GoodTimesWithScar: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO FIGHT SCAR. You would win, and then I personally would manifest in your house to beat you up for hurting the star wars minecraft wheelchair-using man. And then Jellie would bite you.

TangoTek: Yeah I bet you could take him mostly because he would feel bad about fighting you. You know who wouldn’t feel bad about shanking you though? Mrs. Tango. Do not fight Mr. TangoTek.

Impulse: If anyone can find a way to make totems of undying manifest in the real world I believe it’s gonna be Impulse. You will not win this fight.

Zedaph: Picture this. You’ve won the fight with Zedaph because he had his headphones on and didn’t see you coming. You’re taking a breath of victory. And then the bizarre contraption he build in the night to wake him up on time malfunctions, exploding and killing you instantly. Do not fight Zedaph.

iJevin: Another hermit where it’s vital that you approach while he’s distracted. While he’s deep in the code, you get in one punch and flee. Why do you flee? He came second in the head games, remember. He can grind out a fight, if you make it worth his while (maybe don’t make it worth his while).

WelsKnight: approach a fight with wels with caution. He was in the military and probably like actually knows how to fight properly. Which might mean he would feel bad about fighting a random person? Either way I wouldn’t risk it. And his stans will murder you.

RenDog: You will win the fight with Ren. And then he’ll tell you you did a great job and you’ll feel guilty, like you should, you monster.

TFC: WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING GRANDFATHER MINECRAFT? JUST LET HIM MINE AND READ HIS FANFICTION. 

VintageBeef: Look. If you see a six-foot man who keeps donkeys and that beard and you want to fight him, I’ve gotta respect your dedication to the battledome. I don’t think you’re gonna win, though.

Keralis: This is what I know about Keralis— he is constantly sending other people gifts from sweden, and Etho went through an inventory of anvils trying to kill him while Keralis panic-sang and swam away from death (successfully). This is a high-risk, low-reward fight.

Xisuma: So on the one hand he’s a cryptid, but on the other what we do know of his IRL form is that he’s startlingly buff, and a musician. You ever seen a band member fight? They know no honour or reason. Don’t fight Xisuma. 

Hypno: Have you seen this guy hyperfocus during a grind? You could bring an entire mariachi band to the beatdown and I don’t think he’d notice. Go for it, you can totally fight Hypno.

XBCrafted: So yeah, you could totally punch XB, but I’m not actually sure you could fight the man, as his vibes are so extremely chill I’m not sure he’d fight back. So you’d just be beating up XB. Questionable.

Grian: He’s killed Dream. Twice. Grian has an immaculate sense of ambush and a great deal of personal luck. Want to start a fight that turns into a protracted session of “why are you hitting yourself”? Then totally fight Grian. Otherwise I wouldn’t recommend it. 

False: DON’T FIGHT FALSE. You ever see her evicerate a troll? She is the Queen of Heads, Hearts, and Body Parts. DO NOT FIGHT FALSE. 

CubFan: Cub’s idea of a great day outside is on the golf course, so he can probably out-walk you but I’ve yet to meet a golfer who can fight. So totally fight him. Hey, you don’t have any businesses you don’t want taken over or bought out, right? Cause if sooo.

Iskall: I am honestly torn because on the one hand I do believe that Iskall doesn’t look like an IRL fighter. On the other hand his personal chaos field is just so high that venturing into it with hostile intent seems like a bad idea.

Stressmonster: Hey so funny story, her day job is as a personal trainer. She will destroy you, and laugh the whole time. Don’t fight Stress.