Dont Play With My Mind Man, Im A Damn Mess Right Now. SERIOUSLY

Don’t play with my mind man, I’m a damn mess right now. SERIOUSLY

thirteen letters . kim namjoon

It feels a little embarrassing to write you a handwritten letter, but I've always thought they were inherently romantic and when would I ever miss an opportunity to be dramatic?

— or a love story told in thirteen letters.

pairing : best friend!kim namjoon x reader

genre : stream of consciousness fic, fluff, mild angst

rating : general audiences

tags/warnings : small age gap (joon is a year older than reader), limited perspective story, mentions of reader having a boyfriend, mentions of serious illness of a background character (readers mother), and hints at alcohol abuse (readers father) these tags make it sound way more angsty than it is.

word count : 1.5k

date posted : 010124

authors note: literally came up with this fic idea literally an hour ago, and even the idea that i was going to post every day,, about an hour ago so uhh yeah. happy new year (i promise the next few posts will be much better and not so last minute lmao)

day 01 of 31 days of posting every day!

masterlist | taglist

(01) Dear Namjoon,

It feels a little embarrassing to write you a handwritten letter, but I've always thought they were inherently romantic and when would I ever miss an opportunity to be dramatic?

It's been exactly 17 days since you moved and I miss you deeply. Yes, I know you call me every day and I really do appreciate it but it's not the same as walking to your place every day after school. I hope you enjoy the big city and you don't forget the little people – most specifically me. I wouldn't mind it if you forgot about other people.

Your roommate seems nice, if not a little weird. I'm sure he will grow on you, and if he doesn't we can just be roommates when I leave here too.

My mom's not doing better, I know I don't talk about her when you call, but sometimes it's hard to say the words outloud. It makes them feel more real and not just something I can just pretend doesn't exist.

You always say I can't hide from my feelings but I'll have you know I'm a world-class hide and seek champion, I've never lost a single game.

Sincerely,

Your dearest friend.

P.s. This is quite a short letter but my hand was starting to cramp up, maybe they'll be longer in the future.

—

(02) Dear Namjoon Asshole,

Calling me a loser for sending you a handwritten note wasn't very "you should be kind to everyone" of you. I retract my previous letter, I am no longer your dearest friend and am now only writing you letters out of spite.

I ran into your little sister today, and she went on and on about how she wished I was her sibling instead of you, you need to step up your game. I treated her to lunch and we talked about school and all the other big brother stuff you should be doing. She even told me about the boy that she has a crush on. (and I will not be disclosing that information no matter how many times you ask so don't even try Namjoon, I pinky promised on it and you know I never break those.)

I had a dream that you came home, and we spent the whole day riding bikes together and talking about life and then when it was finally night we sat and looked at the stars together and it was all so perfect. And then as we were sitting there in the moonlight you looked at me dead in the eyes and said I have something important to tell you, and then you ate my gold fish. I don't really understand what all that build up was for, but you're no longer allowed around Terry.

If calling me a loser for being heartfelt wasn't bad enough, to also eat my goldfish? It's just wrong Joon-ah.

From,

Your Arch Enemy

P.s. I promised I'd look after her didn't I? I don't break promises even when you're being rude and offensive.

P.P.S. I've drawn a picture of dream you eating Terry.

—

(03) Dear Asshole,

Why did you tell your roommate that I'm not single?

Show him this letter,

Hi Min Yoongi-ssi, I am very single and very interested.

My Phone Number is ###-####

Sincerely,

Your Future Girlfriend

P.S. Namjoon if you don't give your hot roommate my number i'm blocking you.

—

(04) My Dearest Namjoon,

Light of my life, my heart and soul, my dearest friend, the moon to which I pray to every night.

Please be a dear and give me your notes for AP chemistry because I might actually fail this class. And you wouldn't wish that on your best friend?

Sincerely,

Your Best Friend in the whole wide world that you love very much.

—

(05) Dear Joonie,

I passed the test. I know I already told you on the phone but I felt like this warranted a letter too.

Thank you kindly,

Someone who is going to pass AP Chemistry

P.S. I sent you homemade chocolate cookies that I made myself :)

P.P.S. I used my dad's recipe the whole time so don't worry, they're actually good.

P.P.P.S. Now that I've already received your notes, I don't think Yoongi is too old for me and I will continue to pursue him (unless it makes him uncomfortable, then I absolutely will respect his boundaries, sorry Min Yoongi-ssi)

—

(06) Dear Namjoon,

I didn't know how to tell you so I figured it would be better if I wrote it down.

I have a boyfriend.

It's In Do-hyun. I don't know if you remember him, he's in the same grade as me. I don't know if ever really noticed any of the younger grades outside of me. But that's besides the point.

We've started spending time together since you've left and I'm sure you're wondering why I never told you and it's because I was scared to tell you. I can already hear your thoughts right now “You don't have to be scared to tell me anything,” well I don't know if you know this Namjoon-ah, but you're kind of someone I want to make proud.

Eww, that was painfully embarrassing to admit and if you ever tell anyone about this I'll leak the video of you in your boxers singing girls generation.

But he's really nice, I feel like you'd like him.

We went on our first date, at that diner you always took me too. He was so nervous he spilt his drink on himself but it was so endearing. It kind of reminded me of you.

Sincerely,

I'm still your best friend, right?

(07) Dearest Namjoon,

What the fuck?

Sincerely,

No seriously what the fuck

(08) Dear Asshole,

My boyfriend is scared of you, and I don't think I like you very much right now. That wasn't very "I'm a pacifist” of you.

Sincerely,

I'm not talking to you for awhile

(09) Joonie,

Can I stay with you for a while?

I don't know if I can keep doing this, mom is getting worse and dad is drinking more and I just

Do-hyun kissed me last week and told me it would all be okay, and I made myself sick when I realized I was wishing it was you.

I miss you. I hope you're doing well and your classes are going well. I loved the song that you sent me last week even though I made fun of you for it but I really think you and Yoongi have a lot of potential. Remember me when you get famous okay.

Sincerely,

Your first fan (and probably your first hater too)

(10) Dear Namjoon (and Yoongi),

This letter isn't really for Yoongi but the treats attached are for him too so share Namjoon, he needs some meat on his bones please share the love okay.

I read a book today that reminded me of you, it was about the universe and our understanding of mortality and it was depressing as shit but I kept thinking about how much you'd love it and I even wrote in the margins. I heard your voice in every single note I wrote.

2 more weeks until break and I get to visit.

5 more months and then I'm done with school and I can camp out on your couch and you'll never be able to get rid of me.

Sincerely,

Can't wait to see you.

P.S. New recipe, what do you think?

—

(11) Kim Namjoon,

Why the fuck did you kiss me?

Sincerely,

Y/N

P.S. Answer your phone coward

—

(12) Dear Joon,

Do-hyun broke up with me and I'm not actually that upset about it? I don't know maybe I have feelings for someone else.

Mom is officially in remission. I wanted to tell you on the phone but you've been so awkward and quick to hang up recently I didn't get the chance to. She also told dad that he has to cut back on the drinking or she'd kick him out. Wouldn't that be funny? Could you imagine? Where would he even go? What would mom even do without him?

She'd follow him around on the streets wherever he'd go because she'd be too stubborn to let him back in the house but she loves him too much to ever want to live without him. Do you think we'll be like that one day? Do you think we'll be like that one day?

Sincerely,

Newly Single

P.S. Saying there was a bug on my lips and you had to get it with your lips was the worst possible answer you could've answered with.

(13) My Dearest, Namjoon,

It feels very nostalgic to write a letter but I write this as you sleep in bed next to me and I can't stop thinking about how much I love you.

Embarassing I know. But I decided it would be best if I get these feelings of my chest.

I love you.

I don't know if I say it enough, if I could ever say it enough, I don't think I'd have enough air in my lungs to ever properly say what you mean to me. I don't think there's enough time and space to encapsulate the love between us.

Love,

Your Wife

P.S. How did I ever write you so many letters? My wrist is already cramping after just this little bit.

— thanks for reading! happy new year🤍

🙋🏻‍♀️

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

Jin behind the glass door was like 👁👄👁🍿

Crazy Over You x Min Yoongi

[HYBRID AU]

PART FIVE

Bitter taste, Jealousy and bites.

Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Bunny Hybrid, Hoseok/assistant.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior.

Word count: 8.5k

Genre: Fantasy, hybrids.

SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.

< Previously Next Chapter >

……….

Everything went smoothly afterwards, by that would mean nothing eventful happened but things still needed more time to heal. I took Yoongi back to his mating room once the exams were done, after that he seemed tired and didn’t question much once we were there. I never seen him so exhausted before, the entire time he was going under the exams he looked nervous and I worried that it might have something to do with his past. He didn’t say anything till we got to his room and even after that he kept quiet.

I didn’t know what would happen to him now that he was free from Jin’s father, but it was a relief to know he wouldn’t have to put up with extreme tests anymore, he deserved that freedom and i knew he would have more rest from now on. Although i was happy for Yoongi i also couldn’t help but worry about the new hybrid Jin mentioned before, I was afraid he might end up like Yoongi did on his fathers hand, even now that Yoongi was some what free from him I couldn’t help but feel like things weren’t completely over.

I dedicated so many years of my life to this clinic, believing in Jin’s father as the director of this sanctuary a place were hybrids had a chance to make the rest of their lives better, a place where they could heal from their past and recover from their traumas. When I heard about Yoongis past I felt the ground under me fall, at first I couldn’t believe such happened here out of all places and everything we’ve done to help the hybrids. The truth was much harsh then I wanted to believe and I couldn’t help but worry more and more for the hybrids at the clinic, what if it Yoongi wasn’t the only one? What if there were more cases like this still happening?

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if this carry on happening, I’ve taken care of hybrids for so many years they are beings just like us and deserve to be treated fairly. Yet things like this still happen, it wasn’t of my nature to simply let things go as much as I have to focus on Yoongis situation for now, I wouldn’t let things slide that easily. Jin’s father doesn’t deserve to be the director of the clinic, I understand Jin and how hard it must be for him now especially since his own father it’s solid problem here but that doesn’t mean his dad can make those decisions without being held accountable for it, we manage to free Yoongi only because coincidentally another hybrid was there to take his place, what Yoongi went through could still happen to another hybrid and that wasn’t something i wanted to happen and I wouldn’t let it happen.

I made sure Yoongi was left resting and seeing as he went straight to sleep after getting in his room I knew I could leave and he would be fine for now. This week has been very stressful for Yoongi and I kept thinking if rushing with the exams on him wasn’t pushing him too much at this point, from the outside one seemed to be doing much better now but looks could lie when it came to your health and I worried for him more and more. All this time hes been under experiments cold have done some real damage to his body and we had to make sure he was fine - I had to know if he was fine.

Once I got in the small computer room I’m meet with Jin’s figure standing beside one of the assistants who sat on the chair while showing Jin the exams results, this would be my last stop for tonight it was already way past my work time and I had been in the clinic for the entire day to make sure Yoongi was fine after everything that happened. So much had happen today and my body was begging to go home now. I could feel the tiredness at every muscle.

- y/n come look at this - said Jin, once he notice my presence as I approached them.

As I stood beside him I looked up at the exams shown on the screens in front of me, there were two screens in which one showed Yoongis vitals in the moment the exam were taken and the other was a full body image scan from his internal structure and every muscle on his body.

- how is he? - I asked checking the screens.

- he is fine from what we can tell from the results - said the assistant whose name on the badge on his coat said “Jake” while looking up at me and Jin - he does not have any fractures or internal bruises.

- that’s good to know…

- although y/n, i think you should talk to him - Jin added, his eyes stared into mine with worry in that moment.

- why? - i asked noticing the look he shared with the assistant.

- tell her what you said to me - Jin leaned against the table crossing his arms over his chest.

Something seemed to be wrong and I knew it in that moment when Jin turned his gaze away from mine, worry began to boil over every cell on my body. Yoongi didn’t seemed to be okay the whole time during the exam and now that Jin has been acting strangely, I felt even more uneasy.

- well, if you look here y/n… - the assistant Jake said, pointing at the screen in front of him showing Yoongis body scan - you see this red waves of light on his body?

The screen showed Yoongis thermal image scan, commonly used to detect any differences or slight changes on the hybrids health since infrared emissions from a body are directly related to their temperature. From the looks of it his body seems to be emitting more heat then a normal hybrids should, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

- his body temperature seems pretty high, could it be fever? - I asked.

- in this case not exactly, you see the hints of pink around him? - i only nodded to him as he continued explaining, still not understanding what he meant with all that - this kind of waves are hormones and from the looks of it they kept coming back and forth bigger, in this scale it means the hybrid is under heat.

- what? - I exclaimed.

- i felt skeptical at first too, since you mentioned that he has no heat - Jin added, turning to look at me - but the exams tell otherwise.

- behavior exams would have to be taken if you want to make sure of it but, it is very clear in the scan that he is in heat - the assistant Jake affirmed.

- I understand… its just, why would he lie about it? - i held my forehead in contemplation, walking to the other side of the room I didn’t know what to do in this moment and as i turned to Jin feeling as lost as he seemed i knew were complicated now.

- maybe he.. he was trying to delay the mating process - Jin muttered.

I didn’t know how to feel in that moment, it was much clear that Yoongi has been lying this entire time about his heat and I couldn’t deny any of it. I was disappointed to know he’s been hiding that from me all this time, i felt a little betrayed even but I couldn’t blame him for hiding it from me as much as i hated to admit, Yoongi has been through a lot is natural that he wouldn’t trust so easily. The fact that he has been hiding his thought meant we couldn’t hold the proper care for him, he could be in much discomfort if not taken care of too.

I kept thinking about Jin’s words for the rest of the night, Yoongi had good reason for trying to delay the procedures since he’s been through much worst and i wondered if he thought it wasn’t just a get away to hurt him and for that reason he tried to delay the process, It was great to know that Yoongi was perfectly fine after all that hes been through but the fact that he was hiding from me his heat this whole time made me uneasy. It meant i was completely wrong this whole time about him, I couldn’t help but feel like a failed to notice something so crucial this whole time. I should’ve know it before anyone since i was the closest to him and now his actions so far had a complete different meaning especially since i knew the truth now.

Later as me and Jin were exiting the clinic he made sure to assure me he would be taking care of Yoongi tomorrow since i wasn’t going to be present, while telling me to rest for the big day on Monday we said our goodbyes.

My body was completely exhausted, once i got home all i could do was fall over the sofa tiredly and contemplate todays events even though all I wanted was to rest different from my body my mind simply couldn’t turn off. I couldn’t stop thinking about Yoongi, replying all of his behaviors in my head collecting every piece to put together the puzzle I didn’t when i was with him in the clinic. The more i thought about it the more guilty i felt, it was clear from the moment i saw him for the first time and yet it went right past me. I had been working with hybrids for so long that something like this shouldn’t go unnoticed by a doctor, i simply ignored all of the signals. Feeling even more embarrassed i had let myself wonder to the point i let him bite me and do even more after - why on earth would he do that if not from being under heat? - Yoongi wasn’t heaving bad side effects from the heat stimulants when he acted out and attacked someone, it was clear to me since he was actually in heat but I couldn’t picture why he acted that way to someone, if the heat stimulants were effecting him this whole time it would explain why he felt attracted to me - i still couldn’t understand why he would attack someone and i kept rethinking again and everything but nothing came to mind.

What was i suppose to do with this information now? Yoongi could be lying about more things to me and I wouldn’t even know. Jin did advise me into talking to him about it but how can I believe now?

As angry as i was with him now, i know he didn’t do it on purpose. He must have a reason for hiding things about himself, as Jin mentioned he must be trying to delay the mating process but I couldn’t help thinking there was more to it then it shows. I can’t blame him for that even if it makes me angry, i too am lying and hiding things from him - after all he was the victim here not me.

I still can’t believe how messy my emotions have become ever since i meet him, the more time i spent with him the more he captivated me in ways i never thought were possible. I never once felt this way about a hybrid before, it was never a problem treating them until a meet Yoongi. The snake hybrid i never even though to meet once was now under my care, more then that i manage to break the rules of the clinic because of him and the more I told myself I wouldn’t cross those lines again i simple failed miserably.

Looking back now i don’t really know what about him that makes my body burn in the best way possible but every time i was with him it felt like every cell on my body wanted to be close to him. I didn’t wanted to cross that line again if it meant hurting him.

i just had to do the right thing for now.

For the both of us.

[…]

Sunday went by so fast I didn’t really got much rest. I bearly had any sleep last night, kept thinking about Yoongi and an unsettling feeling was boiling up inside me the more i thought about today. Meeting Yoongi today shouldn’t be so hard after all i was his doctor but we crossed that line so many times our relationship was anything but a normal doctor and patient type of relationship anymore. I didn’t know were to stand in this i know i didn’t stoped myself from going over the lines and that led to the moment i was most afraid of, my emotions were everywhere torn into pieces and spread all over the floor. It felt like i was sinking alone in a boat. All my fear were washed away from my mind as soon as it as with Yoongi, everything made sense to me but as soon as i left his room I’m once again alone in that boat.

Trying to ignore those feelings were useless now, I can’t hide from him how i feel. I’ve been trying miserably to do that and it only got us both hurt, i wanted to tell him everything but that meant Alison telling him the truth about this whole process to begin with. It was selfish of me to think of that, what would he think of me once i tell him? I certainly don’t expect a hug from him, he would probably hate me. After everything i felt like I owed him the truth, he must think I’m playing with his feelings and since he is in heat all his senses were in a much higher frequency. To distract myself from the nervous feeling that runs down my whole body, i tried to think about my tasks for the day ahead of me useless as his lies were still stuck in my head.

The whole night i kept rethinking about the incident that led him into bitting another coworker at the clinic, I was afraid he hurt someone without a reason now that i knew he was hiding his heat and more than anything i feared it was because of me.

Hybrids in heat can get very dangerous sometimes, their instincts are at maximum speed going beyond any rational thought. If taken too lightly it can end up very messy - i took it much lightly that time by ignoring clear sings of heat all because it came from Yoongi - all this time I’ve been so caught up in my feelings for him I didn’t notice how much that would cost me. I’ve never had that problem before but Yoongi just had that hypnotic aura around him I didn’t even notice when it was too late. Questioning even more my capabilities as his doctor, maybe it was best if i took some time out of this.

I keep getting distracted by him every time I’m with him and that is costing us too much, maybe I’m not the right person to do this as Jin had believed. Certainly falling in love with his patient didn’t include in that faith.

The more that creeped into my mind the more stressed i felt, since today was the first step for the mating process i was already making my way to Yoongis mating room to encounter Jin there and from then carry on a quick check up on Yoongi before anything happens, the hybrids would meet for the first time today and all i could think about was the unsettling feeling inside my stomach.

While being free from the directors claws Yoongi would still proceed with the mating since Jin decided that carry on the mating process would be more beneficial for the hybrids as they would be able to meet someone just like themselves for the first time and have the opportunity to engage on their journey together. Now that we found out about Yoongis heat as well Jin thought it would be much better for him since things were escalating faster then he thought.

Hybrids have the natural need of a mate, it is more then sexual desire but a connection they can count on and protect. Hybrids without a mate often end up in severe depression and in very rare cases they might die of loneliness.

The importance of the mating process goes beyond continuing the species.

As I’m making my way through the white corridors of the seventh floor to Yoongis mating room I find Jin also going in the same direction, his attention fully on the papers he had at hands. I quickly matched up with him finally getting his reaction to my presence.

He gave me a small smile before turning to look ahead of us as we got closer to Yoongis room.

- how are you feeling about today? - he asks.

- nervous but.. excited for Yoongi - i tell him, trying my best to ignore the bitterness under my tongue.

- me too, i truly hope this goes well for him - he added, before signaling towards the door for Yoongis room.

I quickly made my way to opened for us inserting the code for it on the digital screen beside the door, it made a sound before opening completely and i walked in before Jin.

The lights were on a warmer tone then usual and the room temperature seemed more humid this time, aware of Yoongis presence lying down on his bed almost fully covered on the messy sheets of his nest if not for his dark hair you could bearly tell he was there, at out noisy entire he slowly began to get up. The view of his full figured instantly making my heart beat faster from both nervous and eagerness at the same time. Once I heard the sound of the door closing behind me as Jin took place beside me giving me a small smile of encouragement and I took a few breaths before approaching Yoongi on his bed as he slowly sit up staring at both Jin and i.

- hey Yoongi, i came to check your skin today, mind if i do? - i ask him softly, his eyes went from Jin to me before tiredly nodding.

It felt much different seeing him now I didn’t want to make this uncomfortable but something already felt wrong when i saw him today. It just seemed like the Yoongi i knew before wasn’t here anymore, i know it was him right there but something about him was different. Maybe it was just me and my point of view from him had changed since the exams came proving about his heat, all my internal monologues about his behavior and the fact that there was much more that he was hiding.

I can’t just make him tell me everything and that wasn’t what I wanted, what I wanted was for him to trust me but that wasn’t something you could force. It just bothers me how he didn’t trust me yet when I had all those feelings for him boiling inside me to the point i could feel the bitterness at the tip of my throat.

I watched as Yoongi got up not saying anything as he unbuttoned his white shirt to expose his scales, walking closer to me stopping a feet away in front of me while he did so. Aware of how he kept looking behind me at Jin, i could only wonder why he seemed to be so concerned about his presence every time he was around but, now that i know the truth about Jin’s father i can only assume is because he knows Jin’s the son of the men who did this to him.

Once he was done I started by examining the scales on his neck carefully moving the shirt away to enough uncover more of his skin, i was glad to see his neck scales seemed fine now moving on to the scales on his ribs the last time I checked them he had some deep scratches on them but now it seemed it had healed much more, Yoongi was recovering pretty fast that was good news at least.

I moved around him to check his back sliding the shirt down to expose the skin for my eyes, his back was the part we’re the most damage was done but now the marks of scratching were almost completely healed.

- your skin is in much better condition - i comment walking around to stand in front of him.

- that’s good to hear - Jin added, a smile on his face walking over to us to hand me Yoongis medicine.

- thanks Jin - i took the small container from his hands, ignoring the small mint our finger slightly brushed over each others.

Looking up to Yoongi as he seemed to sand daggers through his eyes at Jin, the tension was set in the room way before I had stared but now it was even thicker. Cleaning my throat to get his attention which worked as he now started into my eyes with his dark eye dark glossy ones.

- here this are supplements, you’ll take them for a while - i tell him while handing him the pills - since you just started eating again you’ll need this to help balance your diet.

He nodded taking the pills from my hand and swallowing them all at once.

- I’ll get you some water… - before i could take one step away from him he held my arm back, pulling me towards him.

- don’t need it - he murmured over my face, eyes looking for mine as I nervously looked anywhere but him.

It wasn’t too much but a single act could spike a different thought on Jin, i worried he would get things wrong or not so since it wasn’t a lie something was going on between me and Yoongi but now it wasn’t the time for that. His grip over my arm wasn’t too hard and that wasn’t what was making me even more nervous now, the fact that Jin was present there was. Usually Yoongi doesn’t go too far in front of someone else and it made me anxious that he had pulled me too close, the last thing i wanted was for anyone to find out about us. More especially, Jin.

- ok.. - i pushed him slightly away.

I didn’t know how to act in that moment, forcing myself to look up at Jin who just stood there looking at us questioning, he didn’t comment but I knew he catched something the moment our eyes met.

- just got a message from Namjoon he’s ready now, can we carry on? - Jin said.

I was thankful for the change of subject, if he would ask about it later I wasn’t so sure. Jin was more invested on Yoongis case now and from everything that has happened he wanted to get all the details from him to make sure we could treat him with anything he might need.

If Yoongi was showing signs of discomfort with someone we must separate them immediately and it is the opposite we need to know why to ensure his recovery. Being closed to people when you need to be taken care of is not the best scenario. I didn’t know if Jin was catching on it but I couldn’t bet on it to find out.

Yoongi was showing more signs of heat as his need for closure was growing more by now, i didn’t wanted to test how territorial he could get with Jin’s presence.

- oh, yes - I turned back to Yoongi - today is the first step of the mating process, we’ll introduce you to your… partner, soon she will be brought here is that okay with you?

We had everything set up already but asking him first was a safety measure, if one of the hybrids didn’t felt like they can go on to meet we need to cancel it immediately and then make sure they are able to carry on later.

He sighted loudly and then nodded, closing the buttons of his shirt impatiently.

It seemed I wasn’t the only bitter one about this. He wasn’t much happy about the mating from the moment he heard about it, I still didn’t know why thought. Yoongi was the first male hybrids I’ve ever treated who didn’t seem to want to mate, although the signs he needed that were clear and he could bearly hide them anymore, he kept his guard. In that thought I remember how he’s been lying about it, we still had much to talk about that but there wasn’t the right time for it so for now we just had to get over the first step of the mating process.

A grip on my hand made me stop on my tracks as I had turned to leave already, I looked over my shoulder seeing as Yoongi was standing right behind me. Turning completely to look at his face, his mouth opened and closed a few times and he looked down still holding my hand.

- are you going to watch this? - he murmured only for me to hear, his question catches me off guard, dark eyes looking behind me and I didn’t need to turn to know he was looking at the mirrored glass wall.

- I have to, is part of the process - i tell him honestly.

He nodded understanding, letting go of my hand. I give him a small smile before turning to leave.

Nothing much then both hybrids being introduced and having a time for themselves alone to get to know each other would happen now, although we didn’t know how Yoongi would react since his heat had already started. We don’t usually put hybrids in heat to mate but let them get to know each other before that happens to ensure their safety, since his case was very delicate we had no choice but to continue with the process.

Jin and I left his room as he massage Namjoon to confirm he could bring the female hybrid to the mating room, for the first steps of the mating process as their doctors we must watch over them as they meet for the first time and ensure they are okay while doing so. Anything could happen in that moment from good to worst case we should still be ready and prepared to assist the hybrids.

For that a small room was designed right beside his separate by the window, he couldn’t see us here only his own reflection.

Me and Jin quickly took our place there waiting for Namjoon to come, i could see Yoongi in the room through the glass window as he just stood there in the middle of his room were I had left him waiting.

Jin was walking from side to side looking at his phone from time to time he seemed nervous but excited at the same time, i wish i could share the same feeling but the more i waited for what was to happen the more bitterness seems to grow at the tip of my throat making me swallow hard multiple times.

It was so selfish of me to feel this way - I couldn’t only think of that - getting attached to a hybrid on this level wasn’t right especially for my position. I could only get hurt in the end. Yet here i stood, feeling my heart beating faster and faster as the minutes passed, stomach doing flips inside me.

The was the muffled sound of the door in the room opening but i didn’t look up, I was afraid to even look at it. Anxiously staring at floor instead, Jin moved beside me to get closer to the mirrored window thankfully not noticing my face. The sound of Namjoons voice on the other side of the wall filled the small room I was in as he entered the mating room with the female hybrid.

That was it, my heart clenches in my chest. Looking up finally to see his back turned to us as he faces Yoongi a few feet away from him and the presence of the female snake hybrid right beside Joon.

My eyes immediately turned to the female hybrid, it was the first time I saw her too the only thing I knew about here was that she wasn’t a black mamba like Yoongi but a python. No one knew if breeding two different snake species would work in their favor but snake hybrids were already difficult to find and there wasn’t much choice.

I could only see her from the back but I could tell she was much smaller then him, maybe a few inches shorter then me, she had long black hair that went down her hips and from the looks she had a very petit figure wearing the usual gray uniform from the clinic.

Namjoons voice filled my ears as he quickly introduced them to one another, none of the hybrids moving forward or saying anything as he speaks only. The introduction didn’t took much longer for my displeasure and once he was done with his he left the room, leaving both hybrids alone.

It seemed like the moment he closed that door to leave my insides were doing a roll back and forth like a roller coaster, all the air in my lungs were gone completely as i watched both hybrids through the glass wall, bottom lip harshly pressed against my teeth as if it would stop my stomach from doing flips.

They couldn’t see us here and i was glad, for once i felt like I would be able to hold my facial expressions as my whole world seemed to be falling apart. Voices deep down in my mind screaming even more, louder each time.

‘’you should be happy for him’’

‘’you don’t deserve him’’

‘’stop acting so selfish’’

I knew he would forget me completely once he meet the female hybrid, someone who’s just like him. She would be better to him then me, hybrids were made for each other not for humans. We were here to help them not use them, that hybrid would be able to complete him in a way I could never and can share with him the connection he needs. I should’ve knew better before, hybrids act on instinct completely when it comes to their heat. I should’ve know better before letting he take me in the bathtub, before he kissed me. I should’ve had set the lines between us, now is too late.

Watching as he was the first one to make a move and walk up to the female hybrid, heart clenching in my chest as he closed the distance between them completely, grabbing the female hybrids face to turn to the other side.

The air was punched out of my lungs at the sight of them, i wished i could just brushed it off and forget it already. But the sight of in front of me was the hard pill I had to swallow, specially once Yoongi leaves a lick over her cheek.

At that i found the strength to turn around, lucky for me no one notice my displeasure as i did so.

My bottom lip burned from biting to hard into it, the taste of blood wasn’t enough to cover the bitterness though. I didn’t wanted to look at it anymore, focusing on the white wall instead - so this is what is like to have your heart broken?

How can it even feel this bad?

From that point things happen much faster, like a rushed dream. I stared over Namjoon in front of me who was now watching both hybrids with a hard expression on his face, I couldn’t tell why as I didn’t have the strength to watch anymore.

- get out of here.

Yoongis mufled voice on the other side of the wall filled my ears, I felt a cold chill down my spine at the words. His voice was bitter full of displeasure, something I never heard before even when he clearly showed dislike towards the other doctor.

In that second Namjoons eyes turned to mine worried.

- we need to hurry there.

He didn’t have to say twice. I only nodded in agreement fallowing him out of the small room and rushing towards the mating room, something seemed to have desperately wrong while they were there. This was the reason why we had to stay by, anything can happen to the hybrids when they are alone.

The weight in my chest still present as i entered the mating room behind Namjoon and he didn’t hesitate to approach the female hybrid carefully, leading her out of there while muttering words of assurance to her.

I didn’t move at all, my feet wouldn’t let me and every time I looked at him that image popped in my mind but I shouldn’t just stand there this wasn’t the time to let my feelings get in the middle.

I waited until i was sure Namjoon had left with the female before saying anything, something had gone wrong between them already even though they didn’t share a single word, Yoongi had rejected the female hybrid.

- Yoongi, you okay? - i carefully walked to him.

- no… - he said, he had his back turned to me the whole time - i dont wanna do this…

I sighted looking at the floor. He never wanted in the first place, we only did what we thought was going to be the best for him due to the circumstances but it completely slipped out of my mind we had been ignoring his displeasure with the whole process.

- I know… and I’m sorry for not respecting your feelings against it - I muttered, walking towards him till I was close enough to his figure.

I didn’t know what to do, what would be safe to do in that moment. He had shown anger before and I didn’t know if he wouldn’t do the same to me but something about how his tone was lower now gave me the confidence to carefully i hold his hand in mine feeling his cold fingers intertwined with mine, my heart was instantly filled with relief. Watching as he turned around slowly to face me, I looked up into his dark eyes as with his other hand he reached to hold my chin between his fingers so carefully like a touch of feathers.

- i want you y/n, no one else - he whispered his confession over my lips - just you.

- Yoongi…

The words were completely stolen away from me just like my breath.

- please… - he took another step forward making me take another backwards - have my heat with me.

His words were making me feel dizzy, he continued to walk making me nervously take steps back. All air in my lungs were punched out of me.

Heat?

Why would he say such thing right now?

Why would he make me so flustered after licking someone else’s face?

I was completely unable of forming a single same thought in that moment, the heat rising up to my checks as he continued with that game until his words repeated so much in my head all I could think about was;

- you lied to me.

It came out breathlessly through my bloody lips, enough to stop him in his tracks once he had me caged between his body and his bad. Dark eyes locked into mine, the back of my knees touching the edge of the bed and in a breath of moment he simply pushed me over the it and a gasp left my lips, I look up at him now sitting in front of him as his lowers himself down between my legs on his knees.

- i did.. - he confesses, hands slowly reaching up to rest over my thighs - you lied too.

I wasn’t surprised to hear that, I knew he was aware of it.

- i don’t wanna lie anymore - i sighted, his hand held my chin to look at him - the truth is…

My words stopped him from leaning forward, he looked up from my lips to my eyes clearly not expecting me to continue but I had to. This conversation had to continue, I can’t hide things from him anymore.

-the person responsible for hurting you all this years set this process up, they wanted to take you down but not before…. - I paused, taking another breath before continuing looking down from his face to my hands over my lap - to make you reproduce another of your specie.

I don’t lie how much relief I felt after telling him, like a weight had left my chest. But no relief was enough to cover the pain of telling him the truth, the fear of losing him once he knows everything.

- I see… well, I expected that - he spat bitterly, getting up to leave.

That fear creeping inside my chest once again, I desperately held his hand before he could take another step.

- I couldn’t let them do that to you… - I tried to explain - that’s why I’ve been…

- that’s why you’ve been so kind to me? - he scoffed, pulling away from me - no wonder you’ve always been so against us being together.

- Yoongi…

- why don’t you go back to that Jin guy you like so much? - he spat.

When he took the first step away was filled by a an unsettling fear, I could no longer take this. I’ve been miserably trying to hide my feelings thinking this was the right the thing to do for him but now, after everything and seeing him go like that I couldn’t keep failing him.

- i said no more lies - I murmured holding his hand before he could walk away, pulling him closer till he was at the same height as my eyes - i.. i want to be with you too…

The words left my lips breathlessly, in that exact moment with him I realized I could no longer hide my feelings for him. I didn’t wanted to hurt him and keeping things from Yoongi all this time was the worst decision I made. So I took another deep breath as he kneeled down in font of me again, before I continued.

- the truth is, this whole time i was afraid - i tell him honestly - I didn’t know if any of this was right, when i first heard about your case I immediately knew i had to save you and now that i know everything i just… i dont wanna lose you Yoongi. I want you too.

At this point i was biting into my lower lip so hard to stop the tears from falling, looking anywhere but him right now. My face burned with shyness at my confession, it was too late to hide anything, too late to stop what we created when clearly none of us wants to.

I felt his hold on my chin again one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me in a hug. I held him tightly only realizing in that moment how badly I needed that, feeling his warm body against mine, all the bitterness from before completely melted away. As he pulled away from me enough only to look into my eyes, his lips brushing softly over my cheek i could feel a small smile forming over his lips.

- took you long enough… - he murmured against my cheek.

-Yoongi… - i groaned, feeling my eyes burn.

With those little words from him I knew everything was gonna be fine, as I rested my forehead against his feeling all the worries wash away from my mind as he softly caressed my jaw.

- mate with me y/n… - he murmured against my face softly - please, my whole body is burning for you if i don’t take you now I’m gonna go insane.

- but I’m human… I can’t - i said, nervously but he quickly cuts me off.

- that don’t mean anything to me, if you dont mind me as I’m - he said breathlessly, holding my chin to look into his dark glossy eyes.

- i don’t mind you at all…

- then… - he brushed his fingers softly over my jaw down my neck, pulling my shirt slightly down show more of the skin.

From the look in his eyes i knew exactly what he meant by that, i knew this was not the best choice to make in this moment but i didn’t wanted to stop him. I wanted him just as bad.

- you can bite me now….

I had no intention to deny it anymore how much I longed for Yoongi. All this time I’ve been helplessly trying to suppress my feelings for him, they only grew stronger. Now I can’t do that anymore, I don’t think I can ever see him again with someone else who isn’t me.

The words that left my lips seemed to initiate a fire in his dark eyes, I never seen before and just like a touch of a switch in a second he was a complete different him, burning desire under those glossy eyes stared right into mine before he finally claimed my lips between his.

A groan of pleasure raised from his chest vibrating through his whole body, pushing me back into the bed as he kneeled between my legs one hand beside my head to support his upper body.

He pulled away gently as he draws over my jaw with his fingers, my hands rested at my sides feeling my whole body melting at his touch. Eyes locked over his wet lips, he seemed to notice his effect over me chuckling softly before taking my bottom lip between his again this time sucking deliciously hard on it then pulling away once again, teasing me to his own pleasure.

- i taste blood on your lips…. - he murmured, I looked up to his eyes as he caressed said bottom lip.

- oh, sorry?

- why did you hurt yourself? - he asked, tracing down my jaw to my neck then sliding over my collar bones trespassing my shirt.

- I was…. nervous a guess… when I watched you guys…- my cheeks burned under his eyes, I could bearly form any sentences with his finger trailing down my chest.

- don’t do that again - he said, holding my chin up to look at his eyes - don’t hurt yourself because of me again.

- I won’t… i mean… no-

He cuts me off immediately with leaning down my lips to lick over my bottom lip, feeling his wet tongue over my lips were the end of me. All self control I thought I had were gone in that instant and pulling him even more closer to kiss him, finger closing between the back of his hair.

My own moan was engulfed by his groan against my lips as I claimed his tongue, kissing him hungrily.

I didn’t wanted that moment to end ever, to feel his hands rushing all over my body as our bodies bun with desire the need to feel each other growing at every second. In that moment nothing else mattered, it was just the two of us intertwined with each other, loving each other desperately how we’ve been yearning for.

I had no thoughts of a tomorrow, all I wanted was in this present moment. It never matter that he was a hybrid, I was attracted to him the moment my eyes fell over him. Knowing he was different, knowing everything and that he lied I still loved him. I still want him, for who he is no matter what.

Pulling his hair harder the moment he left my lips to leave kisses over my jaw, not trying to be careful anymore as he continued to leave love bite’s trailing down my neck.

- you’re mine.. - he whispers, kissing softly under my ear.

I closed my eyes harder feeling my whole body melt under him, holding into him tightly draining my face on his neck feeling his scales at the tip of my nose. A shaky breath leaving his lips in that moment and my entire body tingled at the knew erogenous spot I found on him, burning with excitement i begin to kiss softly over the scales on his neck feeling his breathing fastening above my skin.

A sentiment of accomplishment filled me encouraging me to be bolder and I carefully bit into his ear lobe, I didn’t know what I was doing and was immediately surprised when he held my arms above my head in a second after i bit him.

Looking up into his eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine completely breathless, cheeks red and sweat beginning to form on his skin. He seemed just as surprised.

- sorry… - I managed to mumble.

- no… I’ve never been bitten before, it’s so good… - he confessed.

- does it mean more to you? - I asked, still confused and hot under him.

He only nodded over me a smirk forming on his lips. My cheeks instantly turned red.

- means the same for when I bite you… - he murmured - you’re mating with me… you’re accepting me.

- Yoongi… - I free from his hold over my hands to close my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me - I’ll always accept you.

Claiming his lips with mine again, this time i could feel all his body melt above mine with all his worries washing off of him in that moment.

If only I could froze this moment with him and stay in here forever, maybe then I wouldn’t have to worry about tomorrow so much. If we would ever be able to be together like again.

Bold of me to assume this wouldn’t have any consequences, bold of me to let myself cross that line again today of all days.

The moment I heard the sound of the door opening I knew it was my doom and I didn’t think twice before pushing Yoongi away, quickly getting up into a sitting position as he reluctantly stood right there here not letting me go.

The mixed feelings I had in that moment would never be enough to describe how desperate I felt the second my eyes leaned over Jin’s figure standing right there.

No one said a single word for the longest second of my life, Jin looked at us then turned to the side showing his profile. Keeping his composure before speaking.

- I see what happened here, for now I need to speak in private with y/n - he said.

I couldn’t decipher what emotions exactly were crossing his eyes in that moment, I’ve never seen that side of him in all years of my career.

Looking up at Yoongi again pushing him by the chest slightly to get up this time he moved away for me, reluctantly but still. Before I could even take a step on Jin’s direction Yoongi held me back by the waist, turning to look at him now only to find his gaze staring back at Jin.

I could feel his whole body tensed up beside me and I knew he was ready to take matter in his own hands against Jin if he need to, this was not the best moment for such thing to happen Yoongi clearly took Jin’s words as a confrontation, a challenge against him over me.

- shit, Jin… I… - I breathed out shakily.

Noticing how I felt Yoongi instantly held my waist tighter.

- i don’t intend on making things more difficult than they have to be - Jin said, yes looking over Yoongi.

- really? Doesn’t look like - Yoongi spat at him, taking front of me protectively.

- no, Yoongi is fine… I should talk with him - i said, gently holding his arm.

He kept his gaze over Jin’s figure before slowly looking back at me.

- you’re leaving me… - it wasn’t a question.

- I’m not… ever - I murmured back to him, holding his face between my hands as i softly caressed his ear lobe the same I had bitten into before - I’m yours and you’re mine.

He closed his eyes leaning over my touch before slowly nodding.

- i’ll be right back okay? - at my words he opened his eyes, looking at Jin before turning back to me.

- ok.

I didn’t wanted to.

But I had to go now and fix things with Jin or else things my go down pretty badly especially since Yoongi feels like his territory has just been invaded, he was still under heat and could act out at Jin. I would hate to happen because of me, I must clear this out now. That is if I can even do that, i knew this would happen sooner or later I just hoped it could’ve at least wait until tomorrow.

With one last look at Yoongi taking a picture of his beautiful face right now to look back whenever I wanted to, I didn’t know how things would go from now or if I would ever get another chance to see him. I could only hope for.

I turned around to leave fallowing as Jin exists the room leaving the door opened for me, i don’t look back if I did I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave.

In my head I couldn’t even complain about my own stupidity, feeling like a child that was going to be lectured by her parents for not fallowing the rules. I didn’t meet Jin’s gaze once we were out of Yoongis room, being embraced by the cold air the corridors of the seventh floor. I felt even smaller under his gaze.

He stood there in front of me not saying anything and I could only feel my anxiousness grow, bitting into my bottom lip I feared now would be the last time I’d see Yoongi.

- y/n…

- shit, Jin! - I interrupted him, helplessly feeling like my whole world has coming to an end. Eye burning with tears.

- y/n let me begin… - he said, hands holding my shoulders to make me look at him and I did.

I expected to see anger on his eyes, disgust even disappointment but I didn’t. He still had the same softness in his features as he always had.

- i understand, okay? - he softly said - i… know it might sound crazy but, is okay.

Is okay?

- what? Why?

- you… you’re just like my mom - he sighted, a small smile forming on his lips.

I was completely at loss for words, just what was happening right now?

I felt like I was getting dizzy at this point, I couldn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth. I know Jin was a kind soul but this doesn’t make any sense to me, he shouldn’t be okay with this. What is happening?

All the years I spent working with Jin brought us closer to the point I knew, the more I looked into his eyes I knew something wasn’t right, he was hiding something from me in that moment and i wants sure if I truly wanted to hear it now.

- I’m so sorry to throw this at you now, I’ll explain everything later - he said, and I begin to feel even more anxious - all you need to now now is that, Yoongi is… he’s my brother.

Then the ground underneath me opened and swallowed me whole.

Shit, Jin.

Note: Jin watching the drama unfolds in the other room like 👁️👄👁️. Finally heeeeeereeeee god this was a ride. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I liked (and stressed over it) to write. WHAT THEY BROTHERS??!

See you guys on the next one!!! It’s not too long but I think is good. Sorry for any grammatical errors! Love you all!!

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God, my seven finally, damn it

I missed you guys so much

See you at 2025 💜

summary: in which jungkook says i love you for the first time.

> fluff, a twinge of angst / wc: 2.8k

> warnings: making out, false stealing accusation </3 not exactly a warning but jungkook moles appreciation moment that did things to my heart

note: hehehhe look at me procrastinating again :] as always feedback is always appreciated <3

—

“why are we hiding?”

you sigh, resting your head on jungkook’s chest. you can hear the pounding of his heart in your left ear, loud and fast from adrenaline caused by a reason still left untold.

“i’m scared of him. let’s wait for him to go inside.”

“what’s wrong? did he do something to you?” he tenses up, his protective arms wrapping themselves around your body. as if it’s possible to be further pressed up against each other in this small gap that separates the two houses sandwiching the two of you. it’s not. you’re not even quite sure how you managed to squeeze yourself in here along with your boyfriend, who is wearing a backpack.

you wince, embarrassed about your current situation. sometimes you find yourself fearing that your inborn magnet for trouble might drive him away before you can even celebrate your first anniversary. ironic. funny.

you take another glance at your neighbor’s porch, only to be disappointed to find that he’s still there, reading the newspaper while sipping on a mug. he’s an old man who lives with his teenage grandson. he’s quite famous around your neighborhood for his beautiful garden. having spent all of his precious time making the best out of the earth he was blessed with, he is deserving of the lovely compliments.

you’ve grown quite fond of this little tourist spot as well. you allow yourself a minute or two every morning to admire the flowers before going on your merry way. it’s a good reminder that you reap what you sow. perhaps one day, you will also live in your own house. with a porch, and a flower garden. and if it’s not too much to ask, a peach tree would be nice, too.

but the thing is . . . today’s visit didn’t exactly go well.

to summarize it quickly: “uhm, how do i explain this?” you chuckle nervously, looking up at jungkook. “this morning, i saw a sunflower that fell on the ground. so you know, uh- just like what any other person would do, i picked it up. but then he saw me holding it, and he accused me of stealing. which i didn’t do! clearly! then he started jogging to me while holding up his cane, so of course i got scared . . . and ran away.”

“but you’re not hurt anywhere, right?” he tenderly strokes your face, illuminated by the warm streetlamp, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“i’m alright.” your abashed eyes meet his, and he breathes out a sigh of relief. “i probably overreacted, honestly. my flight response just activated.”

“no- he sounded threatening. of course you got scared.” he interjects, frowning.

“if i avoid him for a while, he would forget about me eventually, right?”

“oh, my baby,” he surprises you with a quick kiss on the lips, followed by another. “how can anyone accuse you of stealing?”

you unsuccessfully hold back a smile, hiding yourself between the unzipped confines of his jacket to muffle the loud beating of your heart inside your ribcage. you can hear it in your ears, and you’re embarrassed that he might also does.

he chuckles, pressing a kiss on the back of your head. “let’s come out, baby. there’s no reason to hide. i’ll protect you if he comes for you again. we’ll clear things up.”

“but i just don’t want to put you in that situation, you know? i’ll figure it out myself.” you come out for air, but his sweet perfume lingers in your nose like a vivid memory. “and this is so comfortable. let’s just hug here for a little while.”

nobody speaks for a beat.

“okay then. let’s keep each other warm.” his embrace tightens, and you hear the crinkle of the plastic bag hanging on his forearm.

“hmmm, sounds nice.” you hum, closing your eyes to bask in the peaceful atmosphere.

this is one of the things that makes jungkook’s presence in your life very special. when you’re with him, you’re only aware of your heart. your mind stills and quiets, and your heart takes over. pumping to the beat of ‘hold on to this, hold on to him’. and that’s not difficult to do, especially when he makes it clear that he bears no plans of letting go of you either.

it’s been seven days since you last saw him, since you were last held like this. you know you’re both busy, but seeing his face on a tiny screen before bed just isn’t the same as feeling his warm body.

when you got home earlier this evening, you discovered that the lightbulb in your bathroom went out. it’s the first time you’ve had to change one since you moved to this apartment, so you never really realized that the ceiling is too high for you to reach. you attemped to remove the lightbulb to see if you could handle the task yourself. you stacked the two chairs you have and stood on the tips of your toes, but to no avail. your efforts proved futile.

when jungkook called, you were already at the hardware store to pick up lightbulbs with extras to keep for future emergencies.

“can i sleep over tonight? i miss you.”

“of course, baby. but i’m at the hardware store right now. i need my bathroom light changed.”

you heard a zipper closing from the other line, followed by rustling. “the one infront of a pet shop?”

“yeah,” you were browsing through the wide selection of lightbulbs, having an existential crisis because you’ve never truly given this object much thought in your life. you used to just grab one and leave, but you were talking to jungkook, so you took your time tonight.

they even sell four-foor-long lightbulbs in here? wow, there are chandeliers over there. are you in this stage of your life now? finding stuff such as house fixtures interesting?

“okay, wait for me there so we can walk home together. it’s getting late.”

“okay,” you responded with a foolish grin. the thought of holding hands with him while walking got your ankle twisting before the sole of your shoe brushed across the floor to express your giddiness.

if jungkook carries on spoiling you like this, it’s going to become harder and harder to imagine your life without him. having him, and belonging to him, it could make or break you. it’s . . . terrifying. nevertheless, it’s a risk you found yourself wanting to take no matter the consequences.

you love him. you love him. damn it, you love him. the lights laid out infront of you could light up all at once, and in your eyes, he would still shine brighter. your hands shook, restless in your limbs, craving to be touched by your man.

—

“have you eaten dinner?” you ask, knowing how hard he worked today.

for a guy who claims to hate texting, he sure does text you a lot. he sent you pictures throughout dance practice. he had a big smile on his face at the beginning, saying he was ready to work hard. later on, he showed what he had for lunch. and then it ended with him slumped in a corner, face and neck sweaty, zoning out.

“i had meat and rice. but i feel more energized after seeing you.” you jokingly huff at his answer, and he chuckles. “did you not miss me too?”

“why else do you think i’ve been hugging you for the past ten minutes?” you remove your hold on his waist, throwing your arms over his shoulders instead. his earring brushes against your cheek, but you endure the cold metal to keep him this close.

“can i have a kiss?”

you pull away slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. “come get it then.”

and one hell of a magnet for trouble you are.

enchanted, he drinks in your features. from the arch of your eyelids, down to your cupid’s bow. he marvels at the stars that make up your beauty, the stars he crawls home to at the end of each passing day.

he offers you a sweet smile, and next thing you know, your back is pressed against the wall, your weak knees buckling, and your fidgety hands tangled in his soft hair. you don’t know how kissing came to be an act of intimacy and romance, but your lips caressing jungkook’s lips, the subtle brush of his tongue against yours, and his hands squeezing your hips— visceral, euphoric, devotion. it makes sense. it all makes sense to you. when is the mouth at its most honest, if not when it is kissing?

he pulls away to nuzzle his face on your neck, warm breath contrasting the chilly spring night. “don’t pick up flowers on the ground again. i promise i’ll get them for you more often from now on.”

“you promise?”

“i promise.” and he seals it with one final kiss on the corner of your lips, curved upwards by a delighted smile.

you take another peek at the porch, itching to finally take off your shoes and to change into your snug pajamas. “oh my god, he’s gone. all the lights are out.”

jungkook is the first one to wiggle out from the confined space, and you follow suit with your hand held tightly by his. you whimper in discomfort when you feel numbness and tingling on your right foot, pausing for a second to stomp it on the ground before catching up to your boyfriend’s pace. a breeze blows as you pass by the house you ran away from this morning, causing you to visibly shiver. your boyfriend notices, and so, he pulls you to his side and rubs your arm to provide you warmth to the best of his abilities.

“you’re so cold, baby. why don’t you wear gloves?”

“it’s too hot when i wear them.” you complain with lips forming a pout. “being cold is better.”

you’d rather have his hands keep you warm, so at least until winter arrives again, you will remain stubborn and gloveless. however, you are forced to briefly part when you reach the staircase leading to your apartment. you hold onto the left railing, him to the right, and you reunite at the final step.

your apartment is the fourth door straight ahead. you enter your personal space with jungkook secretly excited about getting to use his spare key. two pairs of sneakers are lazily left on the welcome home mat, and two pairs of socks are tossed in the laundry basket.

after shrugging off his backpack and jacket on your bed, your boyfriend goes straight to the bathroom with one of your newly bought lightbulbs. the stacked chairs are still there, and he laughs to himself when he realizes that you attempted to reach for the ceiling.

he makes sure the switch is turned off before climbing on the chairs, his heels slightly rising so he can use strength without losing balance. he replaces the burnt out lightbulb with the new one in under a minute.

“you already changed it?” you exclaim in surprise, flicking the switch to see it for yourself. alas, a bright light fills every corner of your bathroom. “you’re a lifesaver!”

your cheek is rewarded with a kiss as he passes by to bring back the chairs to your kitchen. “you’re welcome.”

“oh, babe! if you get hungry, i still have chicken in the fridge from earlier. do you want me to heat them up?” you trail behind him while hugging your bath towel.

“i’ll do it myself. go wash up now, so we can go to bed.” he separates the chairs and places them back at their designated places around your dining table.

you sigh as you are reminded of the task assigned to you tonight. “i need to do my readings before bed, though.”

“you’re not done with that yet?”

”i have two chapters left.”

you fell asleep on your desk last night doing the same thing. and if yelling at you through the video call didn’t work? he would’ve gone all the way to your house just to carry you to bed. but he’s with you tonight, so he doesn’t need to worry about that anymore.

“then can i watch a movie on your laptop?”

—

you originally planned to study on your desk, as a diligent and studious person would normally do. does lying on the bed, where you rest and sleep, make sense? no. however, it’s not exactly the bed you find inviting. it’s jungkook, looking all cuddly in his oversized shirt and pajama bottoms, with your laptop sitting on his naked lap (he bunched up his bottoms to his thighs because he realized it’s warmer on your bed than he initially predicted). it also seems that he found the headphones you forgot you left on the couch yesterday.

compared to your bed, the desk looks awfully grim. and so, you crawl between your boyfriend’s legs, carrying your two-inch thick book and blue highlighter. he squeezes your body for a second, not missing a chance to plant another kiss on your face before letting you settle down with your back against his torso.

the next hour and a half is spent in silence, mostly. you’re leaning to the side, the lamp shading the pages of your book. your eyes are watering under your glasses, and you wipe the tears away carefully with your thumb. beneath you, jungkook is watching the notebook, said it’s been years since he saw it for the first time and he already forgot the plot.

you can hear the sounds spilling from the headphones, barely, really, but it’s still there. you can also feel the laptop starting to heat up, slightly burning your thighs carrying its weight. it’s been sleeping on your desk the whole time you were gone, after all. you don’t mind. it feels oddly comfortable, warm. you’re not sure if it’ll remain that way by the time the movie concludes, but you’ll just have to cross the bridge when you get there.

your eyes. your eyes just won’t stop bothering you. the tears are streaming down into your ear. they’re begging for a rest. left with no other choice, you put down the book, sliding the highlighter in between the open pages. you close your eyes for a minute, and using your finger, you write the alphabet on jungkook’s knee to keep your mind awake. you’ll never know, but the heart you draw after the letters j and k puts a fond smile on his face.

your eyelids flutter open, and your gaze lands on his thigh. bewitched, the tip of your finger has a mind of its own. this time, it traces the two moles adorning his delicate honey skin, crossing the distance between them back and forth.

“these are my favorite.” you whisper absentmindedly, unaware that your boyfriend has paused his movie due to your distracting touches.

he leans his cheek on your temple, warm hands sliding under your shirt to rest on your tummy. “i thought your favorite is the one under my lip?”

“oh,” you sleepily blink in realization. “i’m torn. the ones on your thigh are so cute. and unique. they’re like childhood friends.”

his quiet laughter turns into a fit of giggles when you pinch at the space in between, drawing an elephant with his moles as the eyes, just as he demonstrated the first night you slept on the same bed.

“i think you need to go to sleep, baby.”

you contemplate between work and sleep, blankly staring at the book. “how much longer until you finish the movie?”

“mhmmm,” his finger slides across the touchpad to make the remaining time appear at the bottom of the screen. “thirty-two minutes?”

“then i’ll wait for you so we can sleep together.” you force yourself to pick up the book again, scanning the paragraphs to find where you left off.

another scattered kiss is placed on your skin, where your shoulder and collarbone meet. and he doesn’t understand why this feels like the perfect moment to say the three magical words for the first time, when you’re barely awake and his heart is beating so fast he’s afraid he’s going faint. he planned for this to be more special and romantic, but this, tonight . . . it only feels right.

more than a confession, it’s an everlasting promise. he wants to let you know that he’s not going anywhere. you don’t have to grasp your time with him like water in your hands. when you wake up later this morning, he’s going to be by your side. and the next hundred thousand mornings after that. it means he is steady, and he is sure— body, heart, and soul. it means he is honest, and he is patient. it means he carries you in his heart like a locket hanging on his neck everywhere he goes. it means he believes love is true when it is given.

he stutters your name, which he rarely uses when talking to you. but your brain is too fuzzy to recognize that fact, and you only hum in question as you try your damn hardest to absorb the words you’re reading.

“i love you. i don’t mind if you sleep first. i know you had a long day.”

—

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