S02 Local People No. 36-37: The Windermere

S02 Local People No. 36-37: The Windermere

Alvin Steele

Favorite Position: Sitting still

Oral Activity: Lecturing the Chess Club on the Sicilian E5

Stimulant: Jump leads for one

Favorite Morning Activity: Watching 'Bargain Hunt with David Dickinson'

Favorite Evening Viewing: Gerald Harper in 'Frances Durbridge's Deadly Nightcap' at the Theatre Royal

Sunny Steele

Favorite Position: The Motorbike and Sidecar

Oral Activity: Skull Buggery

Stimulant: The three speed Bully Boy 458

Favorite Morning Activity: Massaging the Grafenberg Spot with a Love Egg

Favorite Evening Viewing: 'Im Rausch der Sinne' (US title: 'Greedy Sluts')

S03 Local People No. 1: Dr. Carlton

Dr. Ira Carlton

Favorite Game: Operation

Mid-Morning Snack: Polio on Sugar Cube

Role Model: Dr. Patch Adams (Robbie Williams)

Ideal Patient: Toni Arthur in Callipers

Medical Advice: If you eat 20 packs of Polos in one day you go sterile

Xmas Local People No. 4-7: Victorian Royston Vasey

Dr. Magnus Purblind

Christmas Food: Brandy Butter (without the butter)

Christmas Ghost Story: M.R. James's 'The Gin Blossoms' (without the blossoms)

Stocking Filler: Tangerine (marinated in ethyl alcohol, without the tangerine)

Piece of Victorian Legislation: Prohibition of the Sale of Dypsomanic Imbibements (without the prohibition), 1888

Daguerreotype bought from French Seaman: "The Lady with the Champagne Bottle" (without the lady)

Dr. Singleton Boothby

Christmas Food: A bicycle

Christmas Ghost Story: J. Sheridan Le Fanu's 'A Terribly Strange Velocipede'

Christmas Tipple: A boneshaker

Piece of Victorian Legislation: Right of Ingress for Penny Farthings, Hutchinson Two Wheelers and Related Bi-sprocketed Mechanisms, 1872

Daguerreotype bought from French Seaman: 'Damp in the Saddle'

Christmas Food: Dry Oats

Dr. Timothy Majolica

Christmas Ghost Story: Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Premature Ejaculation'

Christmas Tipple: Luke-warm Water

Piece of Victorian Legislation: The Enwrapment of Women and Children in Damp Tarpaulin Act 1863

Daguerreotype bought from French Seaman: 'Fanny by Gaslight'

Ashdown

Christmas Food: Syrup with Ants

Christmas Ghost Story: Anon, 'The Haunted Honeypot'

Christmas Tipple: Ants in Syrup

Piece of Victorian Legislation: Outlawing of Bear-baiting act 1838

Daguerreotype bought from French Seaman: 'What the Bear Saw'

Xmas Local People No. 3: Matthew

Matthew Parker

Occupation: Tramp

Fears: Men, Germany, 1970's

Football Team: Blackpool F.C.

Christmas Wish: That the dawn will arrive

Scene 19: Two lovebites. I'm right again aren't I?

S02 Local People No. 47-49: Pandemonium Carnival

Papa Lazarou

Wives: 1062

Circus Skill: Babbling on burnt women

Favorite Actor: Marlon Brando, Lionel Blair

Languages: Gippog

Favorite Freak: Penguin Boy

Mama Lazarou

Wives: 0

Circus Skill: 0

Favorite Actor: Peter Barkworth

Languages: English, Gibberish

Favorite Freak: Grace McDaniels the Mule-Faced Woman

Simba, Pebble, & Tik-Tikk

Wives: 1 ½

Circus: Juggling, Capering, Hosing

Favorite Actor: Herve Villechaise, David Rappaport

Languages: Gobble-gobble, Gobble-gobble

Favorite Freak: One of us, One of us

Xmas Local People No. 1-2: Charlie's Dream

Donna Scott

Fave. Naughty Xmas Song: White Jizzmas

Reindeer Lookalike: Donner

Like to be under Mistletoe with: The Exocet

Ideal Xmas Gift: A divorce

Linedance: Texas tush-push

Lee Scott

Fave. Naughty Xmas Song: Jingle Balls

Reindeer Lookalike: Rudolph

Like to be under Mistletoe with: Stella Hull

Ideal Xmas Gift: The Settlers of Cataan

Linedance: Four-gal Jig