Someone I Know Irl Has Just Told Me My Keyboard That Ive Been Using For Over A Year Absolutely Sucks

crocheting its far from being finished but you can grasp the idea. its going to be a bag i did this giant heart because ugh ughhhhhhhhhhhh UUUUUUGHHHHHHfdkb6Tuuvf7khib ugh whatever i just felt like a budless dying rose plant with giant thorns once again its not a pleasant experience and i guess my reaction can be described as abandonment issues i thought this shit in me was eradicated but alas and i really want to talk about it but i have no idea where to start and i fear being misunderstood so i guess i will not i would rather you look at the heart. it has nothing to do with my thoughts today its just cute and i like cute stuff and racing games i wish i could play racing videogames every second of my life till the day i die

i dont know how to tag it and alas i dont really care enough i was going to draw something but i am a sloth. a lazy brain-rotting tree-dwelling mammal but i am really really cute so please let it slide everyone around me keep saying i should try to work as a florist because of my interest in flowers that suddenly appeared half a year ago honestly speaking i hated flowers for as long as i have existed before that. they were making me depressed the whole idea of something cute in your hands that is destined to become a withered rotting thing overnight is nothing but depressing that i was thinking before i learned how to properly take care of cut flowers. now i can make them stay for a bit longer. like a week or so it is still sad nevertheless. but I guess my perspective on things has changed as well. i am not talking about flowers more like about life and death but its too philosophical for a silly gigantic post in my silly little blog so im not going to talk about it i like to dry flowers. dunno if I do it properly tho a few days ago i watched kusuriya no hitorigoto in which characters are compared to flowers! there is a dried flower as well the dried rose there was described as “still beautiful despite the time and harshness it went through” but the character the rose was alluding to was merely a walking brainless corpse and in the context it really made sense. these two contradicting facts in actuality create the complete picture of the character while binging the series i couldnt help but wonder what flower i feel the most relation to to no avail someone has gifted me a rose plant approximately a month ago. you can see it on the photo above but the thing is. i absolutely suck at taking care of living beings. my experience says exactly that. i also hate dirt i was so perplexed and afraid of causing harm to the plant I completely abandoned it for quite some time while thinking about it 24/7. reminded me of the time i still had the executive dysfunction eventually i had to chop off all the leaves and buds leaving only stems with thorns be to keep the plant alive it was actually my mother who gave it to me. so it is very precious and i really dont want it to die. but my actions somehow say otherwise anyway. i came up with the idea that i am not a flower but a budless stem with really sharp thorns on it! i dont really have enough space for the explanation so its up to you to interpret