04. Entry Made After Experiencing A Nightmare. ( For Kim Mayhaps? :0 )

04.     entry made after experiencing a nightmare. ( for kim mayhaps? :0 )

DEAR DIARY... // always accepting!!!

poised vertically among a dozen and a half of its brothers on a shelf that is not cramped, but in equal measure begins to lose its space, is a notebook. hands pluck it out by the top ridge along the well-made blue spine, the skin of it covered carefully in a deep navy, the papers a pristine white. inside, the handwriting is dense and thick and fast, bunched together on each line, a code with it's cipher in the language itself. it has not sat here long. the date on the inner cover like the notice of an eviction in black, fluid pen; '50 - '51.

you open it. its pages rustle as though a guarded cage has been opened, rendered vulnerable, almost meek despite the intimidation of straight iron and pressed paper, rustling like a snarl. you sit with it, you learn it, it learns you. it is uncomfortable with what is asked of it. you ask anyway.

you reach back into the memory it holds. it gives way, like sticking your hand in the guts of a soft oily thing, or jello, reaching for a pearl in a clam-shell.

━ I have had more nightmares in the past two weeks than I have in four months. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Maybe the stress is getting to me. Seeing the recently deceased is never good for your health, but I can't afford to take leave. If I did, all the ground I'd been covering my entire career will be torn out from under me. I'm lucky. I think it's more than just the corpses.

I keep watching him die. There is blood drawn. Kortenaer aims higher. Shoots. The bullet ruptures his liver as a virulent bomb inside of him. he is unconscious after an unimaginably painful half-second. Someone shouts. I panic. I attempt to stop the bleeding. I do not see de Paule. She aims. Shoots. I wake up in the 57th infirmary. I am forced to ask what happened to him instead of being told. I am informed there was nothing they could do, dead within the two days I am unconscious, an excruciating death as the liver and gallbladder poisons his bloodstream even as the bleeding stops. I do not get to see him again. I do not even know if there is a funeral held. The trial never happens. They were gone. We remained. I remain.

The dream changes often, sometimes being so abstract as if only pertaining to the color of his existence or Martinaise itself, but the point remains the same. somewhere in Jamrock, another little light blinks out.

This hasn't happened since Eyes, and never this constant. I wish I could call him.

I don't know. I'm tired. I want to hear his voice. I want to talk to him again. It's late. He'd answer.

The ink is allowed to dry for a long, long time. the pearl is clutched in your right hand. your reaching the end, oblivion, always cut short.

I'm going to work on the Kineema. I can't really, the only thing to do is something to I want to do with him, but an unnecessary tune-up is enough to keep my hands busy.

Maybe then I'll be able to go back to sleep.

its showtime!

// fair warning to anybody who i write kim and harry's dynamic with ( or jean and harry's dynamic ) that every single response is gonna be like. a LITTLE bit gay. there's some subtext. there's some reading between the lines. its not outright romantic but like there's the vibe yknow. it's part of the game yknow it's part of the meal

man don't put your bullshit in the main tags

// which tags? /genq, if you're referring to fandom tags ( ex: #undertale ) I don't, and without specifying I sincerely don't know what you're referring to so I can't fix it if it IS a genuine mistake on my behalf. If you can tell me in greater detail what the problem is, preferably with less aggression, I'll be happy to fix whatever it is or explain why I did it the way I did!

⭐ !!

Send a " ⭐ " and I will list muses I would be interested in throwing at yours // always accepting!!!

Hi!!! I'm a little slower than I usually would be for this, but VERY glad you sent this in!! been wantin' to figure out some interaction ideas, so this is a verrry good kick in the tail to do so :] I'll be doing most/all of your blogs ( that I know of, anyhow! ) too since I might as well!!!

━ @manebloom ;; Funfact, part of why I picked up the Hunter slugcat from rainworld was because I wanted easier access to tossing muses over to furry blogs, namely yours! Thus, Hunter has an anthro verse which would slot pretty easily into Dandelions! Munkustrap, Rum Tum Tugger and Mistoffelees would also be pretty easy to make into anthro verses too now that I think about it! Cat v cat <3 Senpai in particular also has an easy 'in' to Dandie's mainverse by sheer virtue of being a Literal video game character, so her finding a funky game & it being Senpai's is very straightforward which could lead to an interesting dynamic, especially considering Senpai being part code part Mentally Ill Guy meaning he's just not the healthiest innately but could also lead to some interesting growth as they learn to deal with eachother since. well. unless Dandie pawned Senpai's game off to somebody else or overcame what guilt there'd probably be of permanently shutting his game off, they're stuck with eachother BKHGTBR

ofc, there's also my UT/DR muses! Chara, Asgore, Toriel, Kris, Ralsei, Jevil and Noelle all leap first to mind, with Toriel in particular radiating the potential to have an interesting impact in her life if given the chance. I do have higher muse for DR muses at the moment, but I also think there could be an interesting dynamic with Ralsei and Dandie, being so similar and yet so different in the same breath, and the same kinda goes with Noelle! Especially since by default, I tend to play her after the events of a half completed ( and in one verse, fully completed ) snowgrave run which offers an interesting aspect given her being a young girl trying to find herself through a time of hardship and anxiety and very fresh trauma, and Jevil mostly because I think it could be fun <3 plus, Dandie I've noticed sometimes gravitates to folk of their chaotic nature :]

And of course, FNaF verse has a very wide array! Monty, Spring Bonnie, Mangle, Marionette, Toy Bonnie, OG Chica, OG Freddy, Plushtrap, Vanny, I've a cavalcade of options to throw at her, should any gel in particular!

━ @crvptd ;; admittedly, I'm not all that familiar with creech. however! I do think putting her in a box with Kris, Frisk or Jevil perhaps might be interesting, seeing the WIP state of a UT/DR verse in their carrd! Andy the Apple might also be neat sheerly due to the odd corrupted 'existing despite not being supposed to' situation he's in mirroring a cryptid status. Potentially Modeus, Karin or Anatoly could also be interesting; Modeus because of their aspect as a demon, and Karin + Anatoly as being VERY tied to the forest & folklore by sheer virtue of their story ( essentially being about a group of people fleeing from a country take refuge in a cabin and slowly starving as a storm prevents them from leaving, with the owner of the cabin having ties to the baba yaga ). there's some options!!!

━ @lncanting ;; ofc, theres the Wizard who I've already tossed at'cha in the past, and who I'm DEFINITELY open to expanding upon dynamic wise, but I also think there could be an interesting dynamic between Dustfinger! Dustfinger specifically stands out because in his case, he's a book character who was read out into modern reality and is struggling to cope with it in a world lacking the magic and fantasy of the world he came from, which could be VERY interesting and mesh very well imo with Noel!! I also think there could be something neat with Chica, Freddy, and Marionette with her, given how they're some of the oldest animatronics. Perhaps finding them out in the street after being scrapped between FNaF 2 and 3?

something with LN's Hunter or the Lady, or even Evren from Sacritice could also be neat, just based on vibes! Actually, Klaasje and Noel in particular would also be very fun, less because of the witchy aspect and more because just like. fucken girlbosses, i feel like Noel would like Klaasje's attitude or at the very least Klaasje would like Noel's BHKGBTR though, honestly Skullkid, Artemis, Ares, Hypnos, Zagreus, WD Gaster, the Doll, etc etc could all work n be very inchresting!!! Ranging from Skullkid following the same concept of a child lost in a forest becoming a creature to straight-up accidentally invoking Zagreus from the Underworld be it by invoking his name or via magic, they could all function vv well!! its verrry flexible!!

I know I kinda just rambled alot here, namely bc im tired irl rn, but if y'want to expand on shit, just DM me and I'll give you a brief summary of the gist of all the characters I listed + roughly what I think could work plotting wise when i can, so yeah!!! hope this helps with getting the ball rolling <333

@playedbetter // harry & jean!

Jean was beginning to remember how much he hated office parties. There were only two options in Precinct 41.

One. less of an party, more of a drink until most couldn't stand, which of course would loop back around until it became one again. Rarely, if ever, prompted from celebration, but rather out of shared misery. No one endured the kind of shit they saw on the regular without getting a little fucked up, and with a budget as small as theirs, alcohol was cheaper than medication. Murders, assaults, drugs. All of it bled them out until the evening when they were relinquished from the dutiful, and allowed to be the wounded. A thousand years ago, Jean was half certain that Harry by sheer force of presence spearheaded it; both in creating misery, and alleviating his own. Some of the time, most of the time, Jean would get dragged under with him. Eternally the sinking ship. Eternally anchored to the bottom. ( Eternally stupid enough to have anchored himself there... )

Two. What they were enduring now. He felt like a fucking toddler. Always the same things; families, financials, work ━ always the soft parts of work, the squishy parts, the parts you can bring home to your wife and tell her how your day went without flinching, without bruises, whenever you had the heart to bother cutting the fat at all. It never changed, with alcohol rarely strong enough to provoke anything interesting, and food only lasting long enough to distract you. The people he knew the terrible reality of, melted down for the sake of politeness, worse than interesting misery, worse than volume and vivaciousness and venom, because fuck ━ it was boring. nerve was better than nothing, but all he got was smooth questions of 'how are you' 'i hope you're doing well' 'how is work'

Jean would take burning himself at the stake if the writhing gave him something to do.

Maybe that's why he comes outside in the first place. Harry's silhouette a familiar one through the glass and against the darkening sky as evening falls into a more honest night. Maybe that's why he chooses him for company, despite that thousand years of dragging, or perhaps because of it. ━ was he refuge, familiar and perhaps disjointed but more sincere than apathy, or was he the stake he was burning at? Skin peeling, heat endless, something to destroy himself on. like a favor returned in a thousand little moments he'd never truly remember, he's sure, he's come to terms with.

Maybe he hasn't. The bitterness has already set, like a poison inside of him. But it's better than disinterest, better than malaise.

For a moment, as he steps out into the cooler air and the door squealing on its hinges for a half second before being lost entirely in the sound, he mistakes the pen for a cigarette. He realizes his mistake a second later, but that bitterness twists in him like a spasming organ, like if it had been that Jean had been right ━ nothing was different, nothing changed, it was just the same shit. Too old to grow out of it. Too old to go back.

But it wasn't, he reminds himself as he stations a little ways away from Harry ━ a few feet between them, maybe, a small but healthy distance that felt broader by sheer virtue of who Jean was at all, always seeming more fickle and more terrible than he was, so much bite that his teeth were all you'd see some days, nothing else. ━ it wasn't, as he folds a terrible bite waiting to snap away, he hasn't done anything wrong, Vicquemare. He's innocent. He's innocent. ( a burned part of him asks for how long. He doesn't have an answer. He doesn't know if he wants one. )

Strong arms brace him forward on the railing, leaning over, wearing a nice white dress-shirt he'd gone through the effort to iron that hugged his shoulders, his chest, along the muscle in his sides, down the folded up sleeves ; and perhaps he does study the traffic, studies how easy it'd be to throw Harry's balance over, for just a moment ━ before it's over, and he doesn't twitch.

" Why are you asking me? You could be a fucking scholar about it, 'the intricacies of the Revacholian jamboree and getting dead drunk', if you wanted to be. " he mumbles, snipping. his voice is rough, and irritated, and low. It always sounds like that. Like he's had a stick up his ass for 10 years now, and will for another 10. ━ but not a trap waiting to spring. Not yet. Jean was opportunistic, but he...

he tried not to be cruel. he relents.

" No, just the shitty ones, " he sighs, roughly scrubbing a hand across his face as though trying to work away 20 years of exhaustion. " McLaine got them playing fucking musical chairs, whatever it's called. It's like a kindergarten in there. "

Jean considers, briefly, the idea of taking the opportunity in the open air to smoke, but he remembers the bite marks riddling the pen, and decides against it. he might be bitter, and sarcastic, and at times venomous, but he wasn't about to torture Harry. He didn't have it in him, be it the heart or the nerve. He winds up tapping his fingers along the metal railing, glancing over at Harry, almost expectantly, depending on how you looked at it.

" That why you're out here instead of in there? I thought that'd be your scene. " he inquires, commenting without seeking to rip him apart so much as idle boredom prompting curiosity, perhaps even common ground. If nothing else, Harry was usually interesting to talk to.