Qveenbuji - Stircrazy Goth Babe

…Beasts all over the shop… You’ll be one of them, sooner or later…

Last week, I posted a reel of a Regency inspired picnic I had in early November with Hime.

These are the outfit pictures to accompany that post. The outfit is of course not historically accurate, but the dress design, while from a ‘lolita’ brand has clear inspirations from the period. I curled my hair in the late 18th century style for the first time, and I have to say I was really surprised at how much more it instantly made me feel 100x more Austen. The jacket, while designed for lolita, crops short enough that I used it as a sort of spencer here (though I believe a real spencer would be shorter than this). I handmade a chemisette to achieve more Regency daywear authenticity(didn’t turn out too great but that’s a different story), and hand embellished a straw bonnet. I also dressed up with some slightly different items for a more evening-appropriate look in the second photo. It was really fun to wear and dress in this outfit! I wouldn’t give up lolita for the world but I think historic costumes have much of the same spirit and magic!😊

OP: Resplendent Galaxy (Taobao) Jacket: Visible Milky Way (Taobao) Shoes: Kitten’s Ankles (except white shoes, which are Mary Magdalene) Chemisette and bonnet handmade (flower comb attached is from Henriette, a Japanese indie brand), gloves vintage, anything else is probably offbrand

Yah know...

It hurt when my dad passed away. I thought for sure I’d be numb to it after all the abuse he put my mom & i through. He treated me less than human. Worse than the dogs he owned. He constantly misgendered me, he assaulted me. He forced me to do disgusting things as a child that I don’t want to type.

But I cried. I mourned. My heart broke a little inside. He didn’t deserve any of my tears, but I shed them anyway. And it was cathartic. It’s been almost three weeks now, and I think I can finally say...

Life’s better now that he’s gone.

I’m happier.

My mom is happier.

Her and I are finally a family again. She’s like a whole different person now that her abuser can’t remind her day in and day out that she’s an “ugly, worthless, dumb bitch” or whatever variation of bullshit he’d throw at her.

My mom is singing again. I haven’t heard her sing in years. My father wouldn’t allow it. She’s a *terrible* singer, lmao, but it warms my heart to hear her laugh again. To move around, and dance, and sing off-key.

I finally have my mom back, and I’m so so so fucking grateful. I wish my father didn’t have to die for that to happen, but I’d rather be fatherless than motherless.

Not only that, but I can exist again. I’m cooking again. I’m allowed to be loud and rambunctious. I can help my mom around the house. We do whatever we want. We go wherever we want whenever we want. I’m so excited for this new chapter in our lives.

I’ve lost a lot in 2021. Money, dreams, friendships, trust, jobs, cars. It’s been a rough learning experience. But I’ve gained something’s too.

And I am so much stronger than I was when I started this year. It was rough for a hot minute there, but my soul feels so fucking free.

I can do anything.

favourite outfits

↳ veronica sawyer (heathers)

Benedict Bridgerton + chaotic bi sitting style