Radioactivevampiric - The Worst Emo Ever

ROSE: Well, Dave, I made it, in spite of your directions. DAVE: ah rose DAVE: welcome DAVE: hope youre prepared for an unforgettable luncheon ROSE: Eh.

DAVE: aw fuck DAVE: my roast is ruined DAVE: but what if i bought fast food and disguised it as my own DAVE: delightfully devilish dave ROSE: Huh?

Dave Strider, with his crazy explanations The Seer of Lights’s gonna need her medication When she hears Strider’s lame exaggerations There’ll be trouble in town tonight!

ROSE: Dave? DAVE: rose! DAVE: i was just uh DAVE: stretching my calves on the windowsill DAVE: isometric exercise DAVE: care to join me ROSE: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Dave? DAVE: uh DAVE: that isnt smoke DAVE: its uh DAVE: steam DAVE: steam from the steamed clams were having DAVE: mmm steamed clams ROSE: ???

DAVE: rose my dear sister i hope youre ready for mouthwatering hamburgers DAVE: watering your mouth so much its like theyre a gardener and your mouth is a flowerbed DAVE: thats how much they be watering ROSE: I thought we were having “steamed clams”. DAVE: oh no i said steamed hams DAVE: thats what i call hamburgers ROSE: You call hamburgers ‘steamed hams’? DAVE: yeah DAVE: its a regional dialect ROSE: Uh-huh. What region? DAVE: uh DAVE: upstate new york ROSE: Really? Well, I’m from Rainbow Falls, and I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase “steamed hams”. DAVE: oh not in rainbow falls DAVE: its an albany expression ROSE: How would you know? You’re Texan. DAVE: whatever

ROSE: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Burger King. DAVE: oh absolutely not DAVE: patented strider burgers DAVE: old family recipe ROSE: For steamed hams? DAVE: Yes. ROSE: So you call them steamed hams, in spite of the fact they are obviously grilled. DAVE: uh DAVE: you know DAVE: one thing i should DAVE: excuse me for one second ROSE: Ah, of course.

DAVE: [pretends to yawn] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I’m pooped. DAVE: well that was wonderful DAVE: a good time was had by all ROSE: I should- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THERE!? DAVE: aurora borealis ROSE: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? This time of day? This part of the country? Localised entirely within your kitchen!? DAVE: yes ROSE: Okay, may I see it? DAVE: no

JADE: DAVE!!! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!! DAVE: no jade its just the northern lights ROSE: Well, Dave, something is seriously fucking wrong with you, but… DAVE: i steam a good ham? ROSE: No, Dave, you bought fast food and burnt the house down. But this sure was an “unforgettable luncheon”. JADE: HEEELP!!! HEEEELP!!!

Look.

I have made you a chart. A very simple chart.

People say "You have to draw the line somewhere, and Biden has crossed it-" and my response is "Trump has crossed way more lines than Biden".

These categories are based off of actual policy enacted by both of these men while they were in office.

If the ONLY LINE YOU CARE ABOUT is line 12, you have an incredible amount of privilege, AND YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS. You obviously have nothing to fear from a Trump presidency, and you do not give a fuck if a ceasefire actually occurs. You are obviously fine if your queer, disabled, and marginalized loved ones are hurt. You clearly don't care about the status of American democracy, which Trump has openly stated he plans to destroy on day 1 he is in office.

US states where a popular adult website will be blocked as of July 1, 2024

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

Every time you accuse all men of being evil rapists and pigs, a trans man kills himself

just letting you know!!