I Love This Dynamic So Much

I love this dynamic so much

Unpredictable Little Brat

Kaz Brekker x Reader

Request: hiiii! can you do something with kaz always being surprised by reader? like she's the variable that he never sees coming and he falls in love with her unpredictableness? thank you!!

Warnings: lots of heist talk cause SoC, kaz being much more comfortable with touch cause trust, love, and time

Word Count: 1.2k words

Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

A/N: accidentally went a little bit overboard with how much I wrote here, but I got INVESTED, OKAY? Also, I'm gonna need season 2 to come out soon cause I'm running out of GIFs to use

Masterlist | Miah’s Comeback Sleepover

Kaz smiled as the lock finally made the long-awaited clicking sound, opening with no problem. Amateurs. They think their outer protections are so strong that they don’t need more than a basic lock.

Wylan was behind him, looking nervous as always, but one thing he’s good at is spotting the valuable items in a merchant’s home, so Kaz asked (read: forced) him to come.

“Alright, valuable things only, we have ten minutes to get everything and get out before the guards make their rounds so let’s speed this u-”

He was cut off by a giggle coming from the centre of the room.

“Too late, Brekker. Better luck next time.”

She waved cheekily and tugged on the rope around her waist, immediately being pulled up by one of her girls, leaving him grasping at nothing but wind.

A quick sweep of the house told him it was devoid of any and all valuables and he stomped out of there angrily.

The trip back to the Slat was a tense one. The crows knew better than to say anything, especially Nina, given that she’d come so close to joining their crew.

The Hearts were -as their name implied- a group of Heartrenders that made their home in the Barrel after the Ravkan civil war. They’re all women, all insanely good at their job, and all free of any indentures whatsoever. Their leader, commonly known as the Queen of Hearts, was the biggest pain in Kaz’s ass.

Case in point, she wasn’t even supposed to be here. According to the intel they’d gathered, the whole crew was supposed to be away on a job in the warehouse district, far, far away from the Merchant he was about to rob. And the worst part is, that’s not even the first time it’d happened! It seems like whatever he does, he can’t predict anything about that woman and it’s starting to get on his nerves.

He went straight to his office, not bothering with socialising or torturing the idiot who fed him false info (he’ll give him the night to get out of the Barrel, or else) and let the door slam shut behind him.

“Fuck that pretentious little Heartrender.”

He said, under his breath, as he took off his coat.

“I’d tell you to take me to dinner first, but that’s such a good offer that I might skim over the specifics.”

Well of fucking course.

He turned around. She was sitting in his chair, twirling one of her knives in her hand, a gift from a certain Suli girl.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”

She only grinned.

“You’re just mad that I’m ahead on this month’s betting pool. Five successful heists to your four, better get say goodbye to that De Kappel, cause it isn’t gonna be yours for much longer.”

He groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re not supposed to be ahead! I planned everything meticulously, spent hours on those plans, and somehow you still won.”

He sat in the chair in front of her, the one usually reserved for anyone he was doing business with, or more accurately, anyone he was financially destroying. The irony of this was not lost on him.

“Mhm, valid effort on your part, but you forgot to account for one thing.”

He lifted his brow as she set her elbows on the desk, resting her head on her crossed hands.

“And what’s that?”

She smiled.

“Me, obviously.”

She got up and rounded the desk, leaning against the front at barely a foot’s distance from him.

“You see, that’s your mistake. You plan everything. You research, and predict, and plan, and have so much confidence in your plan that you forget to leave space for the unpredictable. AKA me.”

He snorts.

“I always leave space for you. I literally had to buy a bigger bed for you, if that’s not making space, I don’t know what is.”

She rolled her eyes as he took off his gloves.

“How do you think they’ll react?”

He shrugged.

“Well, I don’t think Inej knows all the details, but she knows that we’re friendly so it shouldn’t surprise her…”

She spluttered.

“Friendly? Oh, we’re friendly, now?”

He smirked.

“Just a little taste of revenge, my love, don’t worry. Moving on, Jesper will be pissed that he didn’t know but he’ll get over it. Wylan will most likely ask you all kinds of questions, the curious idiot. Matthias will have a heart attack, which should be fun to watch, I assume that at least half of my whiskey shelf will be gone by the next morning. And Nina… Well… Nina’ll have a field day, that’s for sure.”

She smiled happily and he took her hand, intertwining their fingers. Sometimes it still surprised him that they’d managed to do so much progress in just two years.

“I’ll finally have Nina Zenik on my crew.”

He hummed.

“You’ll also have men on your crew.”

She shrugged.

“You handle the boys, I’ll take care of my girls.”

He pulled her in until she was standing between his legs and hugged her thighs, resting his head on her stomach. Her hands immediately came to rest on his head and he felt a calm wash over him.

“I think they’ll mostly be pissed at themselves for not figuring it out. I mean, two years, really? And I’ve been beating your ass at betting pools for like a year and a half, if I was anyone else, I’d be dead.”

He smiled against her stomach.

“They’ll be too busy being happy to have another boss to care about the specifics, especially cause your girls are gonna sing you high praises. Soon enough, they’ll start worshipping the ground you walk on.”

She pulled his head up until they were looking into each other’s eyes.

“Well, I am a Queen, after all.”

He nodded.

“The Queen of Hearts that managed to steal my cold, dead one. Does that make me your King?”

She scratched at his scalp and he fought against the urge to close his eyes.

“Obviously. I can’t be a Queen and have a bastard for a husband. You’ve officially been promoted.”

He looked at the ring on her finger, stolen on the last job the two did together, secretly, of course.

“Shouldn’t I only be promoted once we marry?”

She shrugged.

“Po-tay-toh, po-tah-to. Either way, you went from bastard to King, be happy.”

Her smile was radiant, happy to finally come clean with their relationship, and Kaz felt himself be taken on that happy high.

“You know, it’s quite ironic, this thing.”

She frowned.

“What do you mean?”

He grinned at her.

“I pride myself in meticulously planning every single aspect of my life, yet I fell in love with the most unpredictable little brat in the world. Very ironic indeed.”

She bent down until their faces were almost touching, giving him space, always giving him space in case it was suddenly too much, then kissed him softly. It felt like home, like safety, like belonging.

“Call me a brat again and I’ll give you a boner every time you’re negotiating something.”

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

That last line is cause the other day, I had a thought of Heartrenders being able to create awkward boners. You know, since a boner’s really just the blood travelling to the penis so yeah, had to put it in there.

Anyway, if you liked it don’t forget to like/reblog/comment/send me an ask or dm ranting about it, I really love hearing from you guys.

-Love, Miah <3

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Taglists: (if your name is striked through it means for some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you)

PERMA TAG

@adriannajackson123 @evermoreholland @inlovewithmobtom @andycanbeemotional @officiallyunofficialperson @lost-in-the-stars03 @jeezkiddo @a-singleboat @parkersbliss @highlydisfunctional1 @inthecornerchair @harishaanne @anjalika03 @peterspideyy @lozzypoz321 @mendes-marvel @sovereignparker @sofyluv17 @dracoswhore007

SHADOW AND BONE

@thegirlwiththeimpala @olkathechaoticfox @iloveinej

random kaz gifs 1/?

I am obsessed with rockstar sirius

SIRIUS BLACK | 01:27 ⏤HIS FAVOURITE NEIGHBOUR

sum : because of his ambition for music, sirius drives many of his neighbours in near madness until they eventually move away and then you move in...

g. : modern au ; muggle au ; rising rockstar sirius ; rising rockstar marauders ; neighbours au ; fluff

length : 0.8k

Sirius has gone through his fair share of neighbours and he can’t blame them; in his pursuit of music with the Marauders, his electric guitar has helped drive them away sooner than their contract ends. He has yet to maintain any pleasant interactions with his neighbours, all of the ones he’s had have been decent at first meeting but that’s usually when he’s greeted to welcome them into their new home, simple pleasantries. It’s a few days into living beside him that complaints start. 

It doesn’t bother him too much, seeing as they never stay long enough or were pleasant enough to be around for Sirius to befriend them but it was still a shame. 

And once again, the cycle restarts. 

“Oh hey,” Sirius greets with his usual boyish grin, devilish and delinquent, “so you’re going to be my new neighbour, huh?”

“Yup,” you smile, setting down some of your final few boxes to outstretch a hand, “I’m (Y/N), it’s nice to meet you…”

Sirius shakes your hand with a smile, “Sirius Black at your service,” he brings your knuckles to his lips and winks playfully as you giggle, “nice to meet you too,” he greets, disguising his internal grimace with some light humour; the thought that you may not be as sweet to him in just a few days from now brings a sour taste to his mouth. It’s a shame, because you’re super cute. 

“Sirius…” you try saying his name with a growing smile on your face, “like the star?” Sirius nods with a shrug as you smile, “Cool name,”

“Thanks,” just as you’re about to pick up your boxes again, Sirius breaks the ice, “listen, I just wanted to warn you about something,” he uncharacteristically rubs the back of his neck with a hand, looking troubled as you raise a brow. 

“What is it?”

“I’m a guitarist, I play the electric guitar, actually,” you smile, originally cautious but already understanding where he was going, “so I would play often and it gets loud, just some fair warning,”

“I see, thank you for letting me know,” you nod thankfully, smiling and pick up your boxes again. 

“I’ll play only at reasonable times, I promise,”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you nod thankfully to him once more and go about moving in your things again, leaving Sirius to flash a bitter smile before making his way into his own home. You’re pleasant now but he’s sure you won’t stay sweet and adorable soon, you wouldn’t be the first…

Weeks pass and not a single complaint. 

Sirius was ecstatic. Not a single fucking complaint! You’re a saint, always greeting him with your usual smile whenever you two catch each other and he gushes about you endlessly to the boys. 

“She hasn’t complained once!” Sirius sighs with relief and connects his guitar to the amplifier, lowering the volume just slightly; he’s willing to be more courteous since you’re so understanding and pleasant, “what an angel,” he says more to himself than the boys as they share a look between one another. 

“This’ll be the first time we’re practicing together though,” James reminds him as they settle behind their instruments, “this will definitely test her understanding,” he chuckles as Sirius bites his lip nervously. You were so perfect, he doesn’t want to see you go now. Not only do you not seem to mind the music but you’ve treated him to home baked goods every saturday too and he doesn’t want it to ever end; your cookies are unbeatable!

“Come on guys…” he starts but is cut off by James practicing his part of the drums, Remus soon joining him on bass with a sympathetic smile and Peter follows with the keyboard. 

Muscle memory persuades Sirius to eventually join, playing only a few minutes more before he’s stopping everyone and forcefully lowering the volumes on Remus’s amplifier, on Peter’s keyboard and warning James to ease up on the drums or so help him…

“Alright alright, jeez, I just wanted to make sure this girl was the right one….” he pouts like a scolded child and the group continues to play with considerably lowered volumes. It was so far reduced that they were easily interrupted by a loud banging on the wall you shared with Sirius. 

As soon as they stop, they hear you shout through, “TURN THAT SHIT UP! THIS IS MY TYPE’A MUSIC!”

Everyone laughs, Sirius with the most relief, throwing his head back and they all make the proper adjustments. 

“Lucky,” Peter sighs with a pout, “I wish my neighbours were like her,” 

“Don’t we all?” Remus agrees with a nod. 

“Looks like she’s as perfect as you said, Pads,” James teases. 

“You should try her cookies,” Sirius winks, “they’re to die for,”

“Lucky bastard,” someone whispers and Sirius just laughs. 

a/n : i love rockstar sirius but what was his life like before all the fame? and then this timestamp came to be! i hope you enjoyed the reads, lovelies!

taglist : @melinajenkins ; @astonishment ; @until-i-found-you ; @goodoldfashionedluvergirl ; @tiensmamains

navi.

cake — send me in a character and a prompt and i’ll write you a blurb!

sirius black + showering together for the first time? maybe?? you’re definitely super shy and he softens you up with compliments and washes your hair (and he lets you was his)

suds

summary you and sirius have your first shower togehter

content sirius black x fem!reader

note mal ur so real for this

You stand behind the curtain to Sirius's shower, still in your underwear. He waits on the other side, warming up the water for you. He'd been fine with being the first to get undressed and you really appreciate him for it.

You've been naked around each other enough times for you not to be as nervous as you'd been the first time. You've never showered with him and you're thankful you're doing it before you take it further eventually.

"You coming, baby?" he asks gently, just loud enough so he's heard over the splash of water.

You blink, eyes heavy, head even worse. Despite the nerves, you really want to get under the warm water. You take off your bra and step out of your undies and feel a little better seeing yours piled up next to his boxers. Yours blue next to his grey. It's strangely calming.

You nudge the curtain with your shoulder, hands too busy crossed over your chest, folded in on yourself when Sirius opens it up to let you in.

"Darling," Sirius says, more than elated to see you. He keeps it hidden, voice soft and gentle. He can't hide it entirely too well with his little smile and sparkling eyes. "C'mere," he says, arms open and glittery, "you'll get all cold."

Sirius ushers you under the stream and not once has he stopped looking at your face. It relaxes you more than it should and you feel almost bad about it. Sirius is allowed to look at you, you like it when he does because he always looks like he's about to crumble. You don't make it easier with your hands tucked under your armpits, but you think Sirius knows you'd rather him not look down. He knows how to pace things.

Sirius is the most patient person you know and you love him for it.

"Sorry, I took so long," you say despite yourself. You share the stream with him, almost chest to chest. Your arm nudges his chest and you almost want to apologise but you can hear his response already.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says as he touches your shoulder. His fingers drip water in places that are still half dry and you shiver. He touches you as soft as you'd expect, maybe worse. Gentle fingers against gooseflesh skin.

There's a silence. Only running water and your breathing. Sirius's feet as they squeak against the tile below the both of you when he moves. You stay still and really don't know what to say. How much does someone's shower routine change when you have to reach around the other person's hip to grab your soap? Should you ask him to move?

"Sirius," you say. You're so close you wouldn't be surprised if he felt it against his dewy cheek. "I'm so nervous."

His bottom lips juts out and despite yourself, you want to kiss it. All slippery, kind kisses that feel warmer than the water. "It's okay. You're okay."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be," you apologise.

"It's just me, yeah?" he says. You watch the water that sprays on his shoulder as it pushes his hair down and into his collarbone. He's so pretty and you're entirely silly.

You reach out to touch him and are hesitant with it. Your hand stops before you reach him.

"You can touch me lovely." You hate that he knows what you're thinking, and you hate yourself more for thinking it in the first place. You're not assuming, you shouldn't be, Sirius has his own boundaries. But, he's your boyfriend - you can touch him. Especially in the shower. It leaves no room for modesty.

"Yeah," you say, a little breathless, a lot giddy.

You reach out and trace his tattoos. Down the stem of a pretty, inky flower - the points of a group of stars. Sirius grabs you by the hips as you do so and it startles you how much you like it. How much you want him to pull you closer.

He tucks his head down to watch you with the prettiest smile he's ever given you. He's enraptured. It melts his silly little heart to watch himself make you so calm.

"Can I wash your hair, baby?" he asks, selfishly he might add.

You look back at him, embarrassed at your glossed-over eyes and the nibbled lip you'd tucked between your teeth. "Would you want to do that?"

Sirius seems like he's been burned. His eyes widen and he squeezes you harder by the hips. "Of course, I would," he laughs.

You reach up and hold him by the cheeks. Water rushes down your hands and your elbows into heavier streams that point towards your thighs. "Can I wash yours first?" you ask and push it behind his ears in soaked strands.

"Yeah?" he says, more excited than you're expecting.

You stare into his eyes, soft blue until it bleeds out into a sparkling grey that makes you feel weak. His heavy eyelashes that clump up under the water that drips from his hair. "Yeah," you smile.

He grins back, much worse than yours, and reaches down for your shampoo to hand to you. "Be gentle, yeah?"

You roll your eyes and squeeze a bunch into your open palm. He stares at you as you work it through his hair and you squirm under his gaze. You know he's aware of his effect on you. He smiles and has to bite it back. You stare at his scalp and pretend you're too busy to look him in the eye.

"Stop staring at me," you say, shy laughter hot in your throat.

He leans his cheek on your arm where you've got it next to his head. "I don't think I will," he smiles, the chub of his cheek slips against your skin as he goes.

"Stop," you say and don't mean It

"No," he says seriously. "No, I'll only stop when you stop being so fucking gorgeous."

"Sirius."

"Really," he laughs now.

"No."

"You're fucking amazing." He's so genuine about it, you wish you weren't trapped in your tiny studio apartment shower.

"Tilt your head back," you say instead of what you want to. Something like Sirius, if you don't stop I'm going to pass out right here in the shower.

"Beautiful."

You tilt his head under the water before he can wax poetic any longer. He laughs and his mouth fills with water. He splutters and scrunches his eyes shut, face bright with boyish glee. You think he might spit it out at you but he lets it dribble out and down his chin - much to your delight. It's daunting how pretty he looks as he does it. Suddy face and hair in his eyes.

"All right," he says, pushing his hair from his face. "Turn around, it's my go."

"Be gentle, please, Sirius," you say, and tilt your head up.

Sirius groans from the back of his throat. "God, honey, when you say it like that, I'd be an ass not to, huh?"

I wanna be married to a man called sirius black the third too

summary - sirius *finally* proposes to you 

pairing - sirius black x potter!fem!reader 

warnings - fluff, kissing, very much unedited (will edit soon though), grammar mistakes??

It was never easy having dinner at the potters household due to James, your brother, would bother you nonstop, and your boyfriend was always messing around with him.

Over time, you and Sirius decided to live together, choosing an intimate but inviting flat. Let’s just say It was a very cozy and calm flat to both yours and sirius’ liking. Today was special, you guys finally decided that it was your time to bring the family dinner duty to both of you guys, so your mum can finally have a break. 

You and Sirius spent almost all day together, in the kitchen, trying to make everything with the food seem perfect. It was fun, you both had to agree on that, but the cleaning wasn’t fun at all. Little didnt you know that Sirius had a ring in his flared jeans. He had bought it ages ago, when you were off at work and when he was on his day off. 

He wasn’t nervous or scared at all, not even a little bit, because he was certain that you would say yes. “Oi y/n, pass me the bread,” James said, shaking you out of your thoughts. “Don’t be so absurd James! Be polite and say please.” Your mum said scolding James, which you and Sirius started laughing at. 

As you went to reach over to get the bread on the opposite side of the table, you noticed a small box fitted into sirius’ jeans. It was about to slide out, just before Sirius quickly stuffed the box further into his pants. “You alright love?” Sirius asks you, noticing your brows furrowed, a confused look fixated on your face. “Yes of course,” You say, bringing your eyes back to him, almost immediately forgetting about the box. 

You guys stayed like that, looking at each other, sickly in love until James interrupted again. “Stop bloody eyefucking each other, and just give me my bread.” James huffed, looking disgusted as to see his younger sister, and bestest mate in love. “James!” This time it was Lily scolding him, as she slapped his head. 

“James mate, why don’t you just get it yourself, there's a plate full of loaf right next to you.” Sirius says, signalling to the bread that was sitting across him. “Oh- when did it get there.” The whole table erupted into laughter, though you didn’t notice when Sirius got out of his chair. 

The minute Lily had noticed what Sirius was doing, she gasped, happily ofcourse, catching the attention from everyone on the table. You looked at her with confusion, “What- what's wrong?” You ask her as you finally look behind, only to meet Sirius who was on one of his knees, with the box that was in his jeans earlier, but now opened showing a not small or not big ring.

You could hear lily squealing behind you both.

You look back at Sirius, as you finally stand up from your seat to stand in front of him. 

“The ring isn't that big or anything but will you marry-” Sirius couldn’t even finish his sentence as you started saying yes, very excitedly. “Oh my god! Yes, you don't even have to ask me.”

You say very enthusiastically. He could see tears prickling in your eyes, so he quickly put the ring finally on your finger, before getting up and kissing you. 

“And you still haven’t even asked me to marry you potter, despite all our years being together.” Lily scolds James who seemed to be very shocked from sirius’ sudden proposal.

“Oh please i was planning on doing it today love, but he did it before me.” He says, but only earning a scolding from lily. 

dote on me | sirius black x fem!reader

summary: you are completely oblivious to the way sirius black dotes on you, and think that the way you're infatuated with him is completely one-sided. but he begs to differ.

warnings: mentions of a bad childhood, mentions of smoking, drinking and illicit substances

navigation | masterlist 

Sirius Black makes you nervous and he darn well knows that. He uses those consuming grey eyes of his, filled with enigmatic interest, to his advantage. He only needs to focus them on you for a considerate amount of time for you to start burning up like a wildfire. And his nose, it’s pointed and perfect, leaving you wondering just how unfair life can be. His cheekbones are high and structured, light hitting them at glorious angles. His lips are devoid of much red. They’re this cool plum colour that looks like it’s lip gloss all the time but really isn’t. His skin is framed by smooth black hair, and the layers in his haircut are so pretty it prompted every other guy in his life to get the same one. It drives you mad that he was born with this face and that hair. It’s simply unjustified. 

It would be fine if he was just a pretty face. But it’s not. It’s simply unacceptable just how nice he is. Sometimes you wish he isn’t a gentleman and that all the rumours about him being a player with a million tattoos were true, because you’re envious and adoring of him. 

And like anyone, he definitely has a vice. People think it’s cigarettes for him but he definitely does not smoke. And he doesn’t drink. At parties, he’s cradling a cautiously poured glass of lemonade instead. And he definitely doesn’t do drugs, because he hangs around Remus Lupin and there’s no way he would be allowed to if he did. Remus is a little sickly sometimes, and his body is very sensitive. 

He likes to say his vice is chasing things he’ll never have. Like his childhood. He thinks he has regained that. Now, maybe it’s some sort of romance. All his life he’s been mooned over. People love him, mostly because he’s beautiful, and they offer him burning hot love all the time. People think he’s one for angsty, fiery passion. But Sirius thinks that fires never last, they’re too easy to disturb and taint everything with the unpleasant smell of smoke. James once did one of his stupid Women’s Weekly quizzes on him, the one with the “Tell me your favourite colour, and it’ll tell you what other people think of you, tell me your favourite animal…” questions. Sirius had laughed, thrown his head back and answered in a complete stupor. “Black, maroon if black isn’t an answer, dog…” James had asked him what his favourite body of water was and Sirius had said “A lake.”

He had spent summers of his broken youth dipping his toes into the pretty lake by his family’s home in France, escaping from the whirlwind world inside the walls of Walburga and Orion’s chateau. It didn’t make him cry more when he cried, because it would welcome the tears into the gently flowing water. 

James had smiled, “Why?”

Sirius had told him, “It’s gentle, relaxing, peaceful. The one in France was so enveloping and soft. I felt safe there.”

“Chateau?”

“Yep. I used to go out there as a little boy. It was so quiet out there and it felt like heaven, so fluid and open.”

“Hm,” James had studied the words underneath, squinting his eyes, “Ooh, that’s how you feel about love. Never knew you were the romantic type, Pads.”

He had laughed. 

James had asked you too. You had giggled, “Did you steal Lily’s Women’s Weekly again?”

He grumbled, “Not again.”

“I like ponds with little koi fish swimming in them.”

“Why?”

“It’s calm in a joyful way. It’s safe and there’s always rays of golden sun and it feels so delightful and promising. Lucky too, I guess. Oh! And it’s so pretty by a koi fish pond.”

James had grinned and left promptly. 

Sirius thought it was strange when he had first met you. He hadn’t ever had these feelings before, and it took years for him to shove them aside and focus on his studies, friends and mischief-making. But you were affiliated with Marlene, you were always around in some way. You and him became friends and Sirius felt those feelings resurface again. 

He groans into his hands as he runs it across his face. 

“Why?!” he asks Lily, who is watching amusedly. 

“I’m sure you can’t help it,” she says primly, “But what if you could help it?”

He looks at her inquisitively. 

“What if you acted on these feelings? It isn’t half-bad of an idea. You’re grown up, Sirius, and if you still like her that means it’s real.”

“She doesn’t like me.”

“You don’t know that.” 

“What if bad things happen?”

“What’s the worst that could?”

“Death.”

“You’re already halfway there,” she rolls her eyes, “Give it a shot, maybe love will make you less sad.”

“I’m not sad!”

“Whatever, start loving, Sirius.”

She picks up her Women’s Weekly magazine and starts reading. “Ooh, there’s this quiz-”

Sirius groans. 

–

“Hey darling,” Sirius strides into your apartment. Good start, he thinks. 

You’re sprawled on the couch, grinning as you FaceTime Marlene and Dorcas. When you see him, you look up, surprised. 

“Marlene’s in Vegas,” you say, “Didn’t she tell you?”

Marlene did tell Sirius, and even offered that he come with her and Dorcas.

You flip the camera to Sirius, and even in blurry, low quality, Facetime video he’s still very handsome. 

Marlene screams, “What is that monster doing in my apartment?”

You grin, “Marls, he was looking for you.”

“Actually,” Sirius tilts his head, and if you weren’t so thick you might see the smitten look in his eyes, “I’m here for you.” 

You frown, “For taxes? It’s only the start of the month. Besides, the IRS will never tail you, you’re too rich for that.”

“Can’t I spend time with you, pretty girl?”

It’s flattering, but it seems too abrupt to be genuine. You brush it off with a laugh.

“Get a load of you,” you roll your eyes, “What do you need?”

“I need you,” he attempts and the confession, although seeming flirtatious and joking, brings a smile to your face. 

Marlene chortles, “Guys- I-I-I-I’m…cutt-ing…ou-ou-ou-t.” She fakes it and it’s obvious, but the FaceTime ends and Sirius sits opposite you now. He’s pretty even at seven in the evening and it makes you very nervous. 

You stand up, uneased, and make towards your bedroom. 

“Where are you going?”

“Oh,” you gesture to an old pile of clothes, “Marlene cleaned her wardrobe out before she left, so I decided to follow suit so then we can donate them.”

“Why’re you leaving me?” he pouts. 

“You want to…stay?” 

You’re so puzzled and your heart is beating far too fast for your liking. It goes pitter patter like the rain outside. It’s exhausting. The feeling might be addictive, like a good old fashioned crush, but it’s always playing with you. It feels avaricious to love someone out of your league, worth more than you have ever been.

His sudden showering of affections and doting on you, you think, is because he’s lonely. He doesn’t live with James anymore. You empathise with him, but only because you think you’ll know what that feels like in a month when Dorcas and Marlene move in together. But it really isn’t. Sirius actually thinks that you deserve all the heavy-handed loving in the world, and he always has. His apprehension towards him being the person to do the loving is slowly fading away as he sees the shy smile on your face. 

“If you’ll have me.”

And you turn your head around so he doesn’t see you blush, “Okay, I’ve been meaning to get a second opinion. Whenever I do this I do it with Marlene.” 

You try things on by the mirror in your bedroom, instructing Sirius to look away when needed. He isn’t much of a help at all, because he thinks you look good in everything. Which is just certainly not true. 

On a whim, he suggests that because he isn’t aiding you successfully, you should help him on his own closet. In the end, you wind up in his apartment. 

Sirius has never boasted about what he has at all, mainly because he isn’t proud of it. By what unethical means his trust fund has come from, he doesn’t even want to know, but he’s grateful for it. You’ve only ever seen his living room, kitchen and his small powder room, and they’re lavish and capacious to no ends. Everything subtly screams wealth and luxury. His bedroom is no different. A large bed sits in the middle, framed by expensive paintings. There’s a well made ebony table in the corner, spotless and tidy. The two armchairs in the room are, whilst clearly faux-leather, intricate and of the sort of taste cultivated only by time. A copy of the original Call of the Wild sits on a table. A bookshelf is on one side of the room, grey, stretching from the floor to ceiling. You run your fingers along the spines of the book. They’re all special editions. A simple chandelier (what an oxymoron) dangles in the middle of the room, and you find the ceiling is gilded with plaster and gold. Pictures of friends and family adorn the white walls. 

His walk in closet is humongous. You gasp as he opens the door. It’s double the size of your living room. The clothes are organised by colour, style and season and there’s a considerable lack of colour. In the middle sits an accessory table, with dozens of gold watches and silver necklaces. Delicate rings and bracelets all are displayed. A glass cabinet with bottles of cologne and perfume stands next to it. The only ones you can recognise is something that resembles the Ralph Lauren logo and Dior, and then again it isn’t even the one Johnny Depp uses.

He smiles sheepishly, ashamed that he has such nice things, “I did use my own money on this. Euphemia helped me fix it up.”

“It’s beautiful, Sirius,” you’re almost afraid to touch anything. You don’t think you belong in such a gorgeous world. You don’t think you deserve it. 

Sirius beams at you, “Guess there’s not a difference between it and you, then.”

Your face warms. Sirius is already taking clothes off the racks, whilst you stand awkwardly. He’s chatting, talking about where the clothes came from and who gave them to him and why he likes it so much. Your shoulders relax and you look at him like he’s the only thing that matters. So far he’s through all the things he deems necessary for him to live. 

“And this jumper,” he holds up a pristine Ecru crewneck, offering it to you, “Is from when I went to visit Machu Picchu with James. When we left, one of the ladies we had been staying with gave us both a handmade jumper.”

You hold the fabric delicately in your hands. 

“It’s alright. It’s just clothes, darling, you can do whatever you like with them.”

He’s so nice it hurts and you grin at him endearingly, “Thanks, Sirius.”

An adoring smile finds its way onto his face as he turns to pick up the next item. You put the sweater in the “KEEP” pile. 

“How did this get here?” he laughs as he pulls out a bright yellow crewneck, with a little emblem etched on the side. Immediately he tugs it on, grinning as he surveys the bright colour in the mirror. 

You’re blushing away because the colour suits him so well and makes him look way softer than he usually does.

He sneaks a glance at you in the mirror, and when he sees your lack of eye contact with him he frowns. 

“Are you okay?” he asks you. 

“Yeah. Yellow looks really nice on you, Sirius.”

“Does it?”

“Mhm. I don’t know, it makes you look…cuddly?”

He doesn’t smirk like you expect him to, but swivels around and smiles at you again. He knows he looks like he loves you. He doesn’t mind. You’re just sitting there, confused at why he’s doing this. It’s weird and sudden and it’s definitely something he would do. 

Maybe this is his new favourite jumper. 

He throws it in the keep pile. You tut disapprovingly and rearrange it gently. Seeing a t-shirt, he takes his own shirt off, letting it fall to the floor. You cover your eyes, not wanting to intrude on his privacy. 

Sirius is midway through putting the shirt on when he laughs. “It’s okay, princess, I didn’t ask you to look away. I don’t mind. Unless you do, then I’ll change over there.”

You peek your eyes at him, and Sirius hopes that he’s not imagining your pupils blown slightly. 

And you didn’t think he could get more perfect, but he is. His muscles are toned and defined, and slightly strained as he slides his shirt on. Gosh, he makes you feel inadequate. He can’t know you want him, so you grin as if you’re unaffected. 

“That’s cute,” you nod. 

And the process repeats. Sometimes he takes off his pants too, leaving him to just his boxers that cling onto him in an ungodly way. 

“Are you done?” you ask, eyes covered tightly by your hand. 

“Yeah.”

Sirius is dressed in a suit, the tenth one tonight, “Do we like this one, or the grey one?”

“I like the way this one fits, but I like the grey colour more. But I think the dull dove blue one was the best because it brings out your eyes.”

Sirius makes a mental note to get the grey one altered. He chucks away some old sleeping tees, and a bunch of band hoodies he doesn’t wear anymore. He also gets rid of one of his expensive sweaters with a cable knit and a button up shirt, a bunch of sweatpants and this hideous sweater vest that his Aunt Thelma gifted him for his 17th birthday. 

He thinks maybe you might like to wear some of the things he has in his wardrobe–Euphemia picks them out with him and she represents a small portion of women. He lugs the bag of clothes to his car, and when he’s back, he sees you cross-legged on an armchair, typing on your phone. 

“Sweetheart, what do I owe you?” he asks. 

Your eyes are wide as you stare at him, “For what?” 

You put your phone down on the side table. 

“For helping me?”

“Nothing, Sirius, nothing at all. It’s my pleasure, really.”

“Do you want to take some of my clothes? I have more than enough.”

You look inquisitively at him, “You don’t mind?”

“‘Course not.”

You go home that night with two of his fancy jumpers, he insists, and one big button up shirt, and a bunch of other stuff he is adamant you should take too. You call Lily. Her voice comes out muffled on the other end. 

“Hey Lily!

“Mhm, I’m well, how are you?

“He’s not that bad, I’m sure. You do know he took your Women’s Weekly– 

“I’ve already done that quiz. 

“Right, well, I don’t think Sirius is fine, in his own right.

“No! As in the sad happy fine, not the cute handsome fine.

“Well- no- I- I don’t think he’s not fine- I mean - Okay whatever. Is he alright? He keeps on acting weird.

A long pause. 

“You know something, don’t you, Red? 

“It’s kind of strange. I mean, he offered for me to take one of his- I don’t know, the Ermenegildo Ze-

“Yes, that! One of those jumpers. 

“Are you sure? That’s what he is normally? Isn’t he usually bad-boy cool guy? Not dorky weird compliment giver? 

“Alright, fine. 

“Bye, love you!”

You survey the pile of clothes for any trace of a prank. Nothing. You take out one and inspect it suspiciously. Then, your intrusive thoughts get the better of you and you sniff the material carefully. It smells really nice. You chuck them in the wash just in case Sirius has popped one of his silly prank gadgets into the pockets or beneath the collar. 

The next time you see him, Lily has called you to tell you she and James are going to Vegas to join Marlene and Dorcas. They’re celebrating a championship. She invites you, but you decline, not liking the idea of tailing behind the two couples and intruding on the romantic atmosphere. Sirius is all alone, and Lily tells you to ‘please go and check up on him’.

The apartment seems okay. It’s spotless like it always is, smelling of air freshener and Sirius’ cologne. It doesn’t look like Sirius is going through something rough at all. Sirius might not even be home, so you’re about to leave when you hear music coming from a secluded area of the apartment. You sneak into the corridor and the door is ajar. A beautiful black grand piano stands, Sirius sitting at it, playing the finest tune you’ve ever heard. The sounds reverberate gently through the room, and it’s divine. It’s joyful and skips on merrily. His eyes are closed and his lips are turned up. It makes you think that maybe he’s thinking of someone. 

He stirs a little at the noise and you pull back. He gets up from his chair and peeks his head around the door. You’re wearing his jumper over some sweatpants. It’s so pretty on you, falling oversized. 

He laughs, which brings heat to your cheeks, “Do you want to come in?”

“You’ll let me?” you gasp, “But you don’t even let Dorcas come in, and she’s a cello-ist.”

“You’re special,” he winks and you blush. You must look like a motley of colours- florid and pink. But you don’t mind, he makes everyone nervous and you’re not special, which puts you at ease.

You perch on the cushy chair as he plays a lilting song. You hum, approving, “What’s the song called?”

“Love,” he says and you agree. The song plays like what love feels like. 

It’s so soft, and warm. Combined with Sirius’ lavender and honey cologne, it makes you drowsy. He notices your eyes are barely open, and instead of ending the song, continues to play the same melody over a lighter bass. When your breathing becomes steady, he quietly rises from the piano and scoops you up, knowing it can’t be comfortable to sleep in a chair. He carries you to his own room, where he tucks you into his bed. You’re murmuring unintelligible things. He leaves and continues playing, before Lily calls and he knows he should be in bed, because it’s morning in Las Vegas. Thus, he shuts his piano and drapes a soft velvet across it. He falls onto the couch and listening to Lily’s calming method to waking up, he falls asleep. 

In the morning, you’re in a vaguely familiar room. The sheets are silk and the ceiling is fancier than an art gallery’s. You yawn, stretching. The clock next to you detects the motion and flashes a dim white. Of course it’s an analogue clock, reading 5:00 am. You remember shutting your eyes slowly in the piano room, the news had been playing on the TV earlier. So you had fallen asleep at seven. 10 hours, more than enough. You quickly get up and make the bed. After using his fancy skincare products and brushing your teeth with a spare toothbrush you find packaged up, you hear soft snores coming from the living room. Sirius is there, phone by his side. 

You pout at how much of a gentleman he is, retrieving a blanket and carefully placing it on him. Then you prepare a smoothie, with the fourteen-million ingredients he has in his giant fridge, and leave it in there with a note. But Sirius wakes. He’s always been a light sleeper. 

He leans blearily over the couch, “Sweetheart?”

“Good morning!” you chirp. 

“Why do you have to be so gorgeous at five in the morning?” he slurs. You raise your eyebrows. He’s really always very flirty, and you’re used to it not being genuine by now. He sways out of bed and into the bathroom. You hear the running of a faucet, and sit down on a kitchen chair, checking your phone. Lily has blown it up. 

TO: REDHEAD

REDHEAD 7:31 p.m. sooo, how is he??

REDHEAD 7:43 p.m. hellooooo babes????

REDHEAD 8:00 p.m. are u ok ??

REDHEAD 8:05 p.m. ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER

REDHEAD 9:47 p.m. I’m calling sirius

REDHEAD 10:00 p.m. omg YES GO YOU OMG

5:30 a.m. what

5:30 a.m. he was playing the piano lils and i fell asleep 

REDHEAD 5:31 a.m. ok keep telling urself that <3 i mean has he ever let us sit in when we asked???

5:32 a.m. i told u he was acting strange 

You grin as you see some of the videos she has sent you. One is where James and her and celebrating, him beaming like he always does. She looks madly in love with him. You screenshot and send it to your email so you can print it out later. There’s another of Marlene and Dorcas doing the spaghetti thing at a Michelin star restaurant. They look as if they’re having a wonderful time. It makes you realise that you’re craving something like that too, only not in the wild world of Vegas. You already have something like it, but it’s so one-sided and your heart can’t stand it. You wish someone would just, dote on you. And genuinely, because there’s no way Sirius Black means it. 

You express these feelings to Marlene when she’s back, moving boxes and taping things up. 

“I want to love someone, Marls. Who loves me back, so don’t even say Sirius.”

“He doesn’t act like that around everyone else, you know.”

“He does! Besides, what makes me so special, Marlene? He could have anyone.”

She laughs, “Oh goodness have you got a lot to learn.”

–

Marlene and Dorcas invite you to their housewarming party in their house. They say it’s perfect for a family and they want to start one whilst they’re young. It’s quite a large gathering for a housewarming party, and the inside is buzzing with excitement. You’re talking to some of their colleagues- Alice and her boyfriend Frank on the couch. 

“And we’re planning a trip to Ibiza for next month,” she blinks up at him lovingly and he does the same. It makes you subtly raise your phone as if you’re getting a message and type, before quickly flashing a photo of them whilst they’re gazing into each other’s eyes. 

Sirius spots you grinning away, like you want what Alice and Frank have. He sidles in next to you.

“Hey darling,” he smiles and you smile back, “Hi.”

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Alice asks. 

“Oh of course! I thought you would already know him,” you put down your drink, “Alice, this is Sirius. Sirius, Alice. Frank, Sirius. Sirius, Frank. They’re planning a trip to Ibiza and were voted Best Couple in high school.” 

They’re both intimidated by Sirius, you can tell, but Sirius smiles, “Nice to meet you Alice and Frank. How long have you been together?”

They cheesily smile at each other, “Seven years and going strong,” Alice flashes her wedding ring. 

Marlene calls you over to the kitchen island, where she is mixing drinks up, “Hey darl!” 

“Sup, Marls.”

“Need a drink?”

“Just pink lemonade,” you hold out your cup. A boy comes around the table, smiling at you. Marlene smirks a little. 

“Y/n, this is CJ. He’s a footballer, and a damn good one.”

You grin, outstretching your hand, “Hi CJ, nice to meet you.”

He shakes it heartily, “Likewise.”

“What team do you play for?”

“Oh, just a local one,” he rubs his neck bashfully, “I’m not that good.” 

CJ, whatever it stands for, is handsome, with bright green eyes and curly brown hair. He’s sweet too and has this shy air around him that’s impossibly good natured. He’s Emmeline’s to-be lover.

“Try me.”

“Liverpool,” he says meekly. 

“Oh, you’re the Cruz Johnson! How’s football for a living?”

“It’s great, actually,” he chuckles, dipping his head to whisper secretly into your ear, “Though this beer is actually some recovery drink, so could be better.”

You laugh. 

He grins as he takes a sip and makes a funny face, “So what do you do?”

You tell him and he nods, “Impressive indeed. How’d you meet Marls here?”

“She and I were classmates! I wore her down eventually, she used to hate friendship.”

“Oh tell me about it. I met her at the football club, where she was playing for the ladies’ team. And the first time the coach tried to congratulate her she just rolled her eyes. He was filthy.”

“Oh?” your eyes are sparkling with mischief. 

“When he dislocated his cheekbone a few weeks later, she told him she could ski on them if she tried. Anyway.”

You purse your lips in amusement, “Am I allowed to laugh at that?”

“He looked like this,” Cruz makes a face and you giggle. 

Sirius is watching this all with a very sour look on his face, feeling very jealous. 

Cruz takes another sip of his drink, “So, who are you here with?”

You’re confused, “No one? I mean, unless you count Marlene, but she’s with Dorcas. And my friend Emmeline too.”

At the mention of Emmeline’s name, his eyes light up, “About her…”

“She’s single and she does like green eyes,” you pull him near the wily, tall Emmeline, who blushes shyly as she sees Cruz, “Besides, I think she has a thing for you. Ever since, you know, you crashed into her and spilled your coffee on her favourite shirt,” you joke. 

He blushes, “Gosh, you still remember that? Will you send me the name of the shirt so I can buy her five more? I know I already replaced hers but I still feel so bad.”

“Awh. That’s very nice of you, Cruz. Here,” you hand him your phone, “What’s your number?”

Sirius is watching you, hands tense around his cup. He decides to go up to you. 

“Hey darling,” he says lowly into your ear, making you jump and your cheeks heat up.

“Sirius!” you berate. Cruz is watching with a knowing smile as he hands your phone back. You quickly text him, “Okay, sent it.”

The two guys are sizing each other up. You can sense their hostility.

“Now, boys, be friendly. Cruz, do not worry, Sirius is only friends with Emmeline, and Sirius, don’t worry, Cruz won’t try to pick up Regulus.”

You feel both of them relax. Cruz grins at Sirius, “Nice to finally meet you, man.”

“You too!”

“And don’t worry, I don’t have feelings for her either.”

You’re silently eavesdropping on the conversation whilst texting Emmeline. You sneak a look at Sirius, who has an unnatural pink on his porcelain skin. 

“C’mon green-eyes, aren’t I obvious about it?”

Cruz agrees, “Too much so.”

“Anyway, I’ll let you get to Emmeline, Cruz.”

He stumbles, grins at you and waves at the same time, “Thanks, mate.” 

“No problems.”

You watch as he goes and makes a fool of himself in front of Emmeline, who likes it. You turn to Sirius, eyes still watching them. You’re still painstakingly lonely. Tonight you think you’ve third-wheeled at least three couples, and set up two. Even though Sirius is there, he’s just a constant reminder of what you can’t have. 

Sirius can see it in your eyes. He doesn’t know how much more he needs to do. Lily wants to know though. 

“Soooo, lovely,” she begins and you narrow your eyes at her. 

“I swear I didn’t take your cookie cutters and destroy them whilst trying to make clay sculptures with Emmeline and Cruz,” you put your hands up. Lily raises her brows and you murmur a quiet, “Oh no.” 

“My cookie cutters that you gave me?!” she yells. 

“It’s fine, I’ll get you new ones.”

She sighs, “Right. Anyway, Sirius Black.”

“Sirius Black,” you say slowly.

“Mhm. Are you ever going to tell him you like him?”

“No, I don’t even like him.” 

“You don’t?” Lily feigns surprise.

“Nope.”

“Is he cute?”

“Yeah.” 

“Is he nice?”

“Yeah.”

“Well?”

“He doesn’t like me like that, Lils,” you scold. 

“Why does he call you ‘darling’ then? He has to.”

“If he did, that would be embarrassing for him. Gosh knows he’s too good for me. If he likes me, I would question why because he could probably do better,” you shrug, “I’m confident, but not completely blind.” 

“Okay. So if he liked you, you would want to date him?”

You reply meekly, “Yeah.”

“I think you should tell him, though,” Lily sighs, “Better you than anyone else doing it.”

You ponder for a moment, “True,” you sigh, “He’ll be nice about it.”

Lily squeals, “I’m planning your wedding!!!” 

You knock on his apartment door, reconsidering for the last time whether you want to do it or not. 

Sirius opens the door, looking confused and handsome, eyes bluer than usual. 

“Hi,” you breathe. 

“Gorgeous, to what do I owe this sudden visit?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

“Really?” his eyes are glistening. 

“Yeah.” 

“Come in then. Mind the mess, taxes.”

You hum, “Need help?”

“Actually, yeah. Should I write off…”

You sit down, distracted by the papers flying everywhere, taking a pen and starting to write. Your mission is almost forgotten after you finish helping him with his taxes, smiling satisfiedly at the hefty return he receives. 

“Good,” you grin, admiring your work, “I’d say this is a successful tax file.” He swipes his tongue over his teeth, so attractively and seals the envelope, setting it down on his stack of things he needs to post. 

“Package to Marlene and Dorcas, papers to…” he rambles, pacing out his thoughts, “Oh, and my portfolio. Can you check if they’re alright to send in?”

“Portfolio?” 

“Oh,” he turns red, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully, “Someone asked me to model for them?”

“When?” you gasp. He hands you the envelope, and you carefully pry out some photos. 

“A week ago,” he murmurs, “Can you check these aren’t too…much?”

They’re glossy between your fingers and smooth, candid shots, some staged and every single one of them belongs on the cover of Vogue. It’s strange, the pictures of Sirius should be in a magazine, famed and lovely, but he’s right here. Nervously fidgeting around. He’s so tangible right now. You reach out to skim your fingers over the photos, then stretch them out to touch the skin near his lips. He’s taken aback but leans into your touch.

“I think they’re perfect,” you fold the envelope over, handing it back to him. 

He’s still looking incredibly ashamed of himself.

“Why do you look so sheepish?” you laugh, “Stop that! It’s alright.” You surge to hug him, “It’s amazing, Sirius.”

Sirius hides his face in your neck, “I feel like a show-off,” he mumbles and you laugh. 

“Sirius, it’s honestly alright. You’re not, far from it actually. It’s okay to have nice things.”

“I’m sorry. I’m being a wimp.”

“It’s fine, I understand. These feelings are completely normal, but that doesn’t mean they’re true. If I had a staggering net worth of a few hundred million and never told you, would you think I’m a show-off?”

He shook his head. 

“Exactly,” you smile at him, “Now do you want to go to the post office? It closes in half an hour.”

He nods, “‘Kay.”

The post office man greets him with some flirting, and he sets down his stack of parcels, ignoring him to go sign some of them. 

He looks over to you, “You’re his…” he studies your face, “friend?”

It makes you feel small and judged. You chew nervously on your lip, unconsciously stepping towards Sirius. You know you couldn’t possibly pass off as his girlfriend, but it’s an ugly reminder you don’t need. Sirius smiles politely, “These three are in a letter card, but can we get them to be delivered…”

After he pays, you try not to make it seem like you’re in a rush to get out. He notices, of course he does. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“What did he say to you?”

You stay quiet and Sirius does too. He drives to his apartment and sits down on his couch. You follow. He’s silent. 

“He said something about us,” you break the fragile silence, “About me.”

“What?” 

“Well he looked at me and then asked if I was your friend after giving me a once-over.”

Sirius shrugs, “Aren’t you?”  

Your heart falls, “Well–. The thing is–, look, I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but I kind of– scratch that, I have this massive crush on you and probably more,” you wince, “Please be nice about this.”

He looks positively shocked. You can’t tell if it’s good shock or bad shock. 

You grimace, “And please can we stay friends?”

“You think I’m rejecting you?” he almost scoffs, lifting you easily into his lap. He’s so close you could count the colours in his eyes. A charcoal, a light cerulean, a tinge of yellow ochre, “After all my countless advances, the gifts, even inviting you into my piano room whilst I played, I couldn’t, sweetheart,” he says softly. 

“Haven’t you noticed I haven’t ever dated anyone since two years back? That I pretty much have been begging to be noticed by you these past years,” he continues, “All because I want to be yours. Because I couldn’t even think of wanting anyone else. I like you so much.”

“Hey Sirius?”

“Mm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did.”

You huff, “Can I kiss you?”

Before you can do anything, he’s grinning as he presses his lips to yours, smiling into the kiss. When you break apart, he's still grinning. He thinks he will be for the rest of his life.

“Whoa,” you say as you grin at him. 

He hugs you tightly, “Please never say we should be friends again.”

You nod, “Never.”