ragethenerd - The time to scream about hyperfixations is NOW.
The time to scream about hyperfixations is NOW.

Call me Rage/Sarah | they/them | sick of being sick so it's time to escape babyyy |

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More Posts from Ragethenerd

6 months ago
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And
Thinking Of Loopsif Being So So Emotionally Detatched About The Actors That Replaced Their Family And

Thinking of Loopsif being so so emotionally detatched about the actors that replaced their family and the concept of getting out and the future but NOT Stardust, they are CLINGING.

( @chipper-smol 's Isat Role Reversal AU :3 )


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6 months ago

Okay, this could easily become Bingyuan if you consider it from Binghe's perspective. Starting at his head discipleship, Binghe had always been aware of Shen Yuan's distant admiration. Which kind of confused him? Because SY never acted on that admiration, unlike everybody else after they realized there was something to be gained from associating with him. But he supposed it made sense if Shen Yuan knew he couldn't get support in the first place (Binghe did feel a little bad about not protecting him from the abuse, didn't his mother raise him better? But the only person who couldn't easily fall out of Shen Qingqiu's favor is Ning Yingying, and it was made very clear early on that whoever consorted with Shen Yuan was doomed to his same fate). But that raised the question of why admire him at all? If Binghe were in his situation, he certainly wouldn't feel any admiration to someone who outright ignored his abuse, no matter how impressive they were (LBH was aslo aware of SY's sad? ...longing? looks but they were never outright hostile because SY cannot find it in himself to be truly hostile towards LBH). Cut to the Immortal Alliance Conference when everything is going to shit for Luo Binghe, and he's certainly going to be killed despite all his work in the sect when Shen Yuan is the one to stand up for Binghe. The only one. The person he's ignored and allowed to be abused for years? Yeah, that one. This certainly makes Luo Binghe have a paradigm shift, if not into outright love, then at least to 'a debt that cannot be easily paid back' feelings. He's going to be spending his time in the abyss thinking a lot about Shen Yuan to say the least.

As for how Shen Yuan gets out of that situation without being killed, ehhh maybe SQQ likes having him as a punching bag too much to get rid of him completely, or maybe YQY goes 'Alright, I draw the line at murdering innocent diciples.' Even still, things do get a lot worse for SY at the sect. Because of how he very publicly fucked up, his abuse becomes a lot more open then it already was, and also much worse. Maybe they start withholding a lot of meals from him, maybe the start sabotaging his cultivation even more to the point that it effects his health, idk. Then cut to the Jin Lan City arc, where Shen Yuan was brought for funsies or as a meat shield, who knows! (This also doesn't have to be Jin Lan City specifically but for simplicity let's say it is.) LBH finally comes back, Shen Yuan can't really find it in himself to care, and then the accusations on Shen Qingqiu are finally brought out. But then SQQ says that those crimes were all committed by Shen Yuan! Their faces look so similar, it would be easy to mistake one for the other, especially if multiple years had passed. And besides, that diciple had already been exposed for consorting with demons years ago! Surely it would be easier to believe that he would be capable of committing such heinous offenses instead of a well-regarded Peak Lord. (And despite Yue Qingyuan's and Shen Qingqiu's earlier misgivings about getting rid of SY, they're both on board this time because otherwise it's SQQ's ass.) After this, Shen Yuan sort of just... gives up. He could fight, but why bother? He knew this was coming for a long time, and he's just tired. While he's in the water prison, Luo Binghe breaks Shen Yuan out and they go on the run together. Thus begins the comfort part of the hurt/comfort where LBH makes SY lots of tasty meals and tries very hard to woo a very broken man.

au in which shen yuan got transmigrated as a kid, a few years before binghe's on the peak, and shen jiu sees this little guy who looks exactly like him, sharing a name with him, digging a hole desperate to get in- and is filled with incandescent rage.

just like with binghe, for shen jiu seeing a parallel of himself at his weakest makes him furious. he wants to smoosh this creature like a bug. he resolves to do the mature thing and ignore it and hope it will die of starvation when it fails to get into a sect; but then the worst imaginable thing happens.

Yue qingyuan tries to save it. Unacceptable. Yue qingyuan abandoned him as a child, and is now trying to rescue this creature? What's so special about Shen Yuan that he's earned the rescue Shen Jiu never received himself? What's so good about it? Shen Jiu can already tell that Yue Qingyuan will spoil it rotten on his peak, give him exactly the life of safety and support that Shen Jiu always secretly wanted and never got. So he claims the beast first.

In five years, when Lou Binghe arrives on the peak and is begrudingly accepted as Ning Yingying's newest shidi, Shen Jiu barely pays him any mind. He already has a little beast that he despises and takes out his frustrations on. Binghe's similarities to himself (And his perceived blessings that young Shen Jiu never got) pale in comparison to Shen Yuan's, and thus go entirely unnoticed.

Shen Yuan feels- complex, about it, because truthfully he's been holding out hope for Binghe to save him. If not in a protagonist's manner, then in the age-old method of a bully choosing a new target. instead...nothing changes.

Binghe doesn't interfere. He's a scared child who's just secure the better future he promised his mother he'd aim for before she died. He's got steady access to food and shelter, and he doesn't want to risk that. Shen Yuan can't blame him. But ah, as the years pass.... Binghe starts to rise in the peak. Without Jiu targeting him, his natural talents allow him many successes. More important, his skill at manipulation develops at a younger age- he knows how to win over his peers, how to appeal to the peak lord. He quickly becomes head disciple, respected and somewhat trusted.

He still doesn't save Shen Yuan. It's not that he joins in bullying him; that would be too OOC! Even Yuan would protest if something like that occurred! But he turns a blind eye to it all. When the other disciples steal his food, Binghe doesn't ensure he gets to eat. When the other disciples run him out to the woodshed, Binghe never demands they give him back his bed. He doesn't even bring Shen Yuan a blanket. To Binghe, it's like Shen Yuan doesn't exist at all. It's the only way Binghe can feel secure that it won't be him in such a position if he speaks up.

It's hard for Shen Yuan to not get a little resentful. Not just because- because of all his hopes he'd pinned, maybe, on the protagonist he'd admired so much saving him. Not just because it feels like he's taken on Binghe's suffering for him and an unwitting Binghe is ungrateful. (he knows this is a foolish thing to think, but it's how he feels regardless.) Not even just because Binghe is *head disciple* and that makes it literally his job to fix this sort of thing. But specifically, because if Binghe was the one suffering, there's a guarantee that at the end of this it would end. He'd get out from under Shen Qinqqiu's thumb and he'd go on to get his revenge and become a powerful and respected cultivator, and have lots of wives and lots of money and lots of food and a safe place to sleep... Shen Yuan is background fodder. He'll never amount to anything.

But he doesn't hate Binghe. He could never! He knows, deep down, that Binghe's just scared and he's adapted to survive this way and besides, Binghe is still really really cool. Shen Yuan likes getting to see how cool Binghe is up close, with his growth so unhampered. Binghe is amazing at fight, so clever in classes, an excellent musician already, a detective as clever as sherlock holmes on missions, a warrior without equal on monsterhunts. When he gets to see Binghe in action, as opposed to Binghe on the peak failing to save him- he can forgive anything, really.

Eventually Shen Yuan decides he's got to get out. He'll do the conference, try really hard, and see if he can transfer to another sect. Probably not, because his skills are awful; but even so he'll leave and become a rogue cultivator. It'll be hard, and he might starve, but anything is better than staying on the peak forever.

He assumed that Binghe, with all this unhindered skills-leveling, wouldn't get caught as a half-demon. Or that if he was, perhaps his relationship was close enough with the peak lord that it would spare him his fate from the novel. Instead- instead he sees exactly how it plays out. Binghe's control slips at the edge of the abyss, and the truth is revealed to the small group of disciples he was protecting (including shen yuan, for once!) and to a furious Shen Qingqiu.

The Peak Lord forced his head disciple to the edge of the cliff and goes to stab him through the heart.

Shen Yuan does something he'll regret, entirely on instinct: He tries to interfere. He tries to call out and save him. isn't this your respected head disciple? isn't binghe only here because he was trying to protect the disciples in his care?

It's pointless. Binghe still falls into the abyss. But it leaves shen yuan behind- already hated, already mistrusted, and now he's just defended a demonic spy who'd been hidden in their sect. His chances of living to see Binghe claw his way back out of the abyss are extremely low- at best, he'll see it through the bars of a cell at the water prison.

-------

au discussed with @slurmdog :)


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6 months ago

The thing I think some people miss about Hua Cheng because he has this whole need to be the strongest to protect Xie Lian thing is that he is perfectly content to let Xie Lian fight his own battles and beat people up. Hell he gets a little kick out if. Like I think some people think he’s got this step behind me kitten booktok boyfriend behaviour and he doesn’t. He is more than happy to let Xie Lian go full martial god and cheer from the sidelines because he thinks it’s hot (see the entire Ban Yue arc) like as long as the whatever the threat is won’t actually hurt Xie Lian or Xie Lian won’t hurt himself he will canonically just be in the back trying on pretty outfits for his geges entertainment offering him advice and support and watching him kick ass with heart eyes because that’s the guy he fell in love with. He adores Xie Lian martial side and thinks it’s very cool and sexy of him.


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