Hello Everyone! I've Just Updated My "Eldritch God Merlin Befriends A Very Long-suffering Leon" Fic On

Hello everyone! I've just updated my "Eldritch god Merlin befriends a very long-suffering Leon" fic on ao3! If you like my writing over here, I would highly recommend checking out my fic!

Yes!! Merlin and Gaius are in the back watching Ygraine's ghost beat the shit out of Uther with a floating frying pan and they're whispering to each other like: "Should be perform a spell to send her back to the afterlife or something?" "Nah, she'll go back on her own eventually. Let's just enjoy this while it lasts."

And then they sit back and eat some popcorn while watching Ygraine put Uther on blast for his hypocrisy and lies and killing her brother AND abusing her son for his entire childhood. Merlin's having the time of his life. Arthur's healing emotionally for the first time in his life. Half the castle is wondering if they can dethrone Uther in favor of a ghost queen. It's glorious!

Fic idea:

After Morgause's ritual that allows Arthur to talk to his mother, the veil between her and the living world has weakened. Ygraine's spirit is able to pass through and she starts haunting the shit out of Uther in revenge for what he did to her and his treatment of Arthur since then. She also uses some of her time to spend with Arthur cause he did not get enough time with her!

Time for today's silly Merlin au! This time featuring himbo Arthur!

I think that the show should have leaned into the whole "Merlin's technically a creature of magic" aspect, both in terms of being magic incarnate and kin to the dragons, and I think Arthur should have also been forced to come to terms with it as well. However, this is Arthur we're talking about, so of course he wouldn't come to the right conclusions right away.

In this scenario, around season 5-ish, there's an evil sorcerer seeking revenge against Camelot for the purge who puts a spell on all of the humans in Camelot, one that would weaken them and cause such fatigue that no one would be able to even stand up after a while. But it's a powerful and taxing spell to cast, so the sorcerer can only afford to target the humans in Camelot to keep the number of targets as low as possible. Besides, what could the livestock in Camelot do to stop him anyways?

So everyone in Camelot is falling under this spell, and Arthur and the knights are rushing to prepare for battle against the sorcerer to make him lift the spell. However, with each hour that passes, everyone grows weaker and weaker.

Merlin does, of course, know that this spell has been cast and what it does, but he doesn't feel its affects and assumes that his magic is protecting him. He acts like he's growing weaker so he doesn't fall under anyone's suspicions for the wrong reasons. However, after Merlin summons and talks to Kilgarrah for advice on how to break the spell, Kilgarrah informs him that Merlin wasn't protected by his magic, but rather by the fact that he isn't truly human.

And Merlin decides to unpack the implications of that some other time, because he's got a kingdom and a prat to save.

Fast forwards to the knights getting their asses kicked by the sorcerer and the evil sorcerer preparing to kill Arthur, who's lying on the ground with his eyes closed. All the other knights were knocked out by a blast from the sorcerer, but Arthur's still barely clinging to consciousness, yet he's too weak to even open his eyes. All he can do is listen helplessly as the sorcerer prepares to kill them all.

But then the sorcerer yelps, as if he were hit by something. Arthur's hope skyrockets as the sorcerer yells "You! How are you even still awake?! Every single human in Camelot should be feeling the full effects of the spell by now!" Arthur thinks for a moment that one of his knights has found enough strength to overcome the spell and fight back, but that hope is quickly dashed when he hears Merlin's voice responding like he isn't tired in the slightest, saying, "Well it's a good thing I was never really human then."

Merlin decided to say that to throw the sorcerer off-kilter enough to distract him and give Merlin an advantage in the fight. Besides, Merlin can see that all of the knights, including Arthur, are knocked out on the ground, so there's no harm in admitting it to this sorcerer who he's definitely going to have to kill.

Arthur, meanwhile, is still conscious and completely reeling from Merlin's words. What the hell did he mean he wasn't human?! Has some vile magical creature taken Merlin's place?

After the battle (which sounded to Arthur like a bunch of grunts, pained yelps, and a final, wet gurgle), Arthur could feel the effects of the spell lifting, letting him open his eyes with a gasp. He frantically looks around to make sure Merlin's ok, but Merlin's only a few steps away from him, while the sorcerer lies dead on the ground with a sword buried in his chest.

Hearing Arthur's gasp, Merlin turns to him with a relieved smile and helps pulls Arthur to his feet. Arthur, meanwhile, is too stunned to even ask how Merlin of all people managed to kill a powerful sorcerer by himself, but Merlin's giving some unbelievable explanation that involves distracting the sorcerer and then getting a miraculous opening and stabbing the sorcerer. Arthur's nodding along, but inside, he's really searching man who might be Merlin or might be some magical imposter posing as Merlin, as awful as that is for Arthur to consider, for any signs that he's truly Merlin.

If he's an imposter, Arthur has to give him credit, he plays his part well. The man in front of him looks exactly like Merlin, talks like Merlin, walks with Merlin's lanky gait, and seems to know everything Merlin knows, even their inside jokes. Still, Arthur needs to be sure, so after they get back to the castle, Arthur goes down to the vaults and grabs a secret object that Uther used in the purge that could detect illusions and glamor magics. It was a simple clear crystal in the shape of a sphere and small enough to fit in the palm of a person's hand, but if someone or something that was using magic to alter their appearance came into contact with it, the crystal would glow with a bright light.

Arthur plants the sphere in his chambers and disguises it as a new paperweight. The next day, Arthur pretends to accidentally knock it off his desk, sending it rolling across the floor, and orders the maybe-Merlin to pick it up and bring it back to his desk. Maybe-Merlin rolls his eyes in a perfect imitation of Merlin and walks over to the crystal. To Arthur's shock and relief, the crystal doesn't glow when Merlin picks it up, so he definitely is the true Merlin.

But then that leads Arthur to a horrible conclusion: the Merlin he knew wasn't a human, and never was. And the only creatures with the ability to look convincingly human were creatures of magic.

Oh god, Merlin was a creature of magic.

Arthur decides that, in order for him to plot an appropriate course of action, he needs more information. Namely, he needs to know what exactly Merlin is.

So, Arthur sneaks into the library and secretly takes some of the bestiaries, searching for what manner of creature Merlin truly is. Arthur tries not to jump to the worst possible conclusions, but all of the creatures of magic that can take human form that Arthur knows of are horrible monsters that prey on humans. Take the sidhe and the lamia for examples!

But people don't randomly go missing or turn up dead from monster attacks very frequently in Camelot, and Merlin cries when Arthur so much as shoots a bunny, so if Merlin's some sort of monster that kills and eats humans, he's doing a piss poor job at being one. So, Merlin must be some sort of creature that doesn't hurt humans, which certainly narrows down the list.

Arthur eventually finds a list of peaceful, human-like creatures of magic, and he starts trying to narrow down what Merlin is. He couldn't be an elf, since his ears were huge and round, not pointed. He couldn't be a gnome, he was too tall and gangly. He couldn't be a nymph, he spent too much time indoors to be a nature spirit. He couldn't be a leprechaun, he didn't have a beard or an affinity towards gold. He couldn't be a fae or a sidhe, he doesn't make deals with anyone (besides when he goes gambling at the tavern). And he certainly couldn't be a dragonlord, they were all dead!

Arthur was just about to give up when he finally found what he was looking for! The book's passage on fairies described them as benevolent relatives to the fae who would often disguise themselves as humans and would bring good luck and fortune to whoever befriended them, while sometimes engaging in some fun mischief! That must be Merlin!

Come to think of it, Arthur did have some great moments of luck, some of them almost miraculous! Morgana's magic failing her the day of a battle, defeating a dragon single-handedly, surviving the questing beast's bite, and of course defeating monsters that were said to only be killed through magic. And Merlin had been there for all of those events!

The book also describes fairies as creatures that love all living beings and are closely connected with nature, which makes perfect sense considering how much Merlin hates hunting! And fairies could see into the true hearts of people, which was how Merlin always knew if a person was untrustworthy!

It all made so much sense! This even explained Merlin's random "visits to the tavern", when Arthur knew that Merlin rarely ever drank. According to the book, fairies could only maintain their human forms for so long before they needed to spend some time in their smaller winged forms.

The book even addressed how fairies could be born from a union between a particularly powerful fairy and a human, which even explained why Merlin never knew his father and how Merlin could be a creature of magic while having a human mother!

Now that he knew the truth, Arthur felt so much relief! His best friend wasn't some diabolical monster, he was just a playful and friendly fairy trying to live as a human! It made so much sense!

And now all Arthur had to do was prove it. All evidence pointed to Merlin being a fairy, but he needed concrete proof before he could take any action. According to the book, the blood of a fairy in a human disguise sparkled under the light of a full moon. So, Arthur devised a plan to take Merlin out on an overnight hunting trip the day before the next full moon and "accidentally" cut Merlin's arm with one of the crossbow bolts. Arthur would then bandage the cut for Merlin and, after a couple hours, insist on changing the bandages, and pocket the first bloodied bandage.

Sure, Arthur felt guilty about purposely cutting his friend, but this was Merlin's fault for keeping the fact that he wasn't human a secret over their ten years of friendship! So, Arthur goes through with his plan, and when he held the used bandage up to the moonlight after Merlin had fallen asleep, he has to hold back a gasp as the red blood on the cloth shimmers and turns a bright golden color. Well, the book was right, the blood certainly sparkled!

(It was a shame that Arthur never read into warlocks, and how the magic in a warlock's blood made their blood turn gold under the light of a full moon.)

Arthur then turned to look at his peacefully sleeping friend, and swore that he would do everything he could to help his friendly little fairy.

Shortly after that revelation, Arthur starts actively noticing all of the strokes of luck he has. Bandits can never land a hit on him because they're too busy getting knocked out by tree branches or tripping over roots, his baths and meals are always the perfect temperature no matter how long he waits, and his injuries all heal at near-impossible rates. Hell, Arthur couldn't even recall the last time he got sick with something as small as a cold!

So Arthur tries to do little things for Merlin to show him his appreciation, like giving Merlin flower crowns (which fairies are said to like and Merlin absolutely adores), giving him a shiny silver mirror (fairies are supposed to like shiny things, and Merlin's never had a proper mirror before), and giving Merlin parts of his own meals as a food offering (which Merlin of course isn't about to turn down).

(Arthur's also kinda frustrated at the lack of information about fairy courting rituals lol!)

But Arthur isn't the best at keeping secrets, so the knights of the round table eventually catch him trying to set up a nice little fairy ring for Merlin in the garden, and they also "figure out" that Merlin is a fairy, and it all spirals from there until the entire castle is trying to show their appreciation for their fairy friend.

Merlin's very confused by all of this (since Arthur's terrible at actually communicating, Merlin doesn't know that Arthur thinks he's a fairy), but he's not about to turn down all of these lovely gifts!

And there's lots of different directions the story could go from there! A pretty funny scenario would be some rival king catching wind of how Camelot's great victories are all because of their king befriending a kind fairy, so he kidnaps Merlin in an attempt to make Merlin grant him such great luck and victory in battle. However, all they do to imprison Merlin is pour a circle of salt around him (since they firmly believe that fairies cannot cross a barrier of salt).

Merlin's just kinda raises an eyebrow and thinks that this is the weirdest kidnapping ever, steps over the salt, and escapes back to Camelot.

Thank you for reading through my rambling! :D

Alright, time for another Merlin au! This one won the last poll, marked as "an au featuring Arthur being an idiot"!

In this au, set sometime in the three years between season 4 and season 5, Arthur, Merlin, and the knights of the round table get ambushed by a large pack of ferocious wyverns while on a quest. This time, Merlin couldn't be subtle about using his dragonlord commands to pacify them, and that was the only way to ensure that they would all make it out alive. So, Merlin uses dragonlord commands to make the wyverns leave and, in the process, reveals that's he's a dragonlord. However, he at least managed to keep his magic a secret through the ordeal, so he's got that going for him.

Arthur is, of course, rather upset about Merlin keeping this secret from him, and is even more upset when he learned that Balinor was Merlin's father and guilty that he didn't support his friend through mourning his father as Merlin had for him. However, Arthur can also keep things in perspective. After all, dragonlord powers weren't actual sorcery, apparently it was a magic-adjacent gift that Merlin had inherited at the moment of his father's death, whether he wanted to or not. Besides, it wasn't like Merlin chose to have the ability, so Arthur couldn't really hold the ability itself against Merlin.

And anyways, Arthur mused to himself at their camp after Merlin came clean to the knights the night after the the wyvern attack, it wasn't like there were any dragons left. The only thing Merlin could do was command wyverns. While that could perhaps make him a threat if he wasn't the most harmless person Arthur knew, they didn't even encounter wyverns that often.

So, Arthur was willing to just let this be a useful little trick that Merlin could use on the off chance that they ran into wyverns. Still, the image that the whole situation gave Arthur, an image of Merlin being a formidable, powerful dragonlord with devastating dragons under his command, was rather amusing.

So, as Arthur settled in for the night after hearing the last of Merlin's explanation, this wasn't going to be a big deal. Sure, he was still hurt that Merlin kept this a secret from him, but Arthur could understand why. Uther had killed all of the other dragonlords, so it made sense that Merlin felt unsafe with his father still on the throne, and since they didn't run across wyverns often, there was a very real chance that Merlin just forgot about his ability entirely until it was relevant again. That was a very Merlin thing to do.

So, everything was fine. Everyone with them looked comfortable with Merlin, and he knew that they would keep this a secret for Merlin's sake. If word of Merlin's dragonlord abilities got out, Arthur could always publicly grant him a pardon. After all, it wasn't like he had ever hurt anybody with it. The only thing he seemed to do with it was send wyverns away.

Arthur quietly snorted to himself at the thought. Oh no, the terrible powers of Merlin the dragonlord, telling some wyverns to shoo.

Arthur relaxed into his bedroll, listening to the knights settling in to sleep and their fire crackling a few feet away. The quiet noises were peaceful, but were broken a few minutes later by Leons seemingly innocuous question.

"Merlin, if you were already a dragonlord when we rode out to face the great dragon, did you do anything with your powers? I assume you're the reason Arthur made it out alive through the whole ordeal."

Merlin froze where he was sitting, a myriad of emotions passing through his face before his expression settled on a grimace. Arthur sat up, interested in hearing Merlin's answer. What truly happened that night with the dragon? In the comfort of his own mind, Arthur admitted that Merlin's explanation of Arthur slaying it was... unlikely, at best, considering that Arthur was unconscious at the time.

"Well, you'd be correct Leon. It took me a while to figure out how to use dragonlord commands, since I never got any instruction on how I was supposed to command Kil- the great dragon. I'm truly sorry that I wasn't quick enough to save the other knights."

Merlin hung his head low, with what looked like shame. Arthur frowned at his manservant. Surely Merlin couldn't hold himself responsible for their deaths? Every knight had similar guilt, telling themselves at night that they should've been faster, should've been better, should've been more aware, then maybe some of their friends would still be with them.

Every knight learned the same lesson: those thoughts were the path to madness. It was disheartening to see that misplaced guilt on Merlin as well.

Luckily, before Arthur had to try to articulate that, Leon seemed to have similar thoughts, and spoke to Merlin with a soft, reassuring smile.

"Merlin, they volunteered for that mission, and they knew the risks. You are not to blame for the dragon's actions. Now please, tell us, how was the dragon actually defeated?"

Merlin nodded at Leon's words, but the guilt remained on his face.

"I, uh, was able to find my dragonlord voice after Arthur was knocked from his horse. He hadn't managed to hit the dragon, and he was about to kill Arthur, but I couldn't let that happen."

Merlin glanced over at Arthur, who was valiantly trying to ignore the warm fuzzy feelings blooming in his chest at the thought of Merlin slaying a dragon single-handedly just to protect him. He wasn't some maiden in a children's tale!

"But, when I gave the order to the dragon to stop attacking, I- I couldn't-"

Merlin swallowed thickly before continuing.

"I couldn't kill him. He was the last dragon, the last of my kin. So, I ordered him to leave. I banished him from Camelot and forbade him from ever harming another human again."

This time, Arthur froze where he was sitting, and he could see that the knights were in similarly tense states. Poor Leon turned a rather disturbing shade of pale.

Finally, Arthur spoke up with a forced calm tone, the type that was only a thin veneer to panic.

"Merlin, you don't mean to tell me that the dragon is still alive? And it could return to Camelot to finish what it started?"

Merlin looked at Arthur and tried to reassure him, but Arthur could barely comprehend Merlin's words through his rising panic.

"Well, yes, he's still alive, but dragons physically cannot disobey orders given by their dragonlord. He cannot return to Camelot at all, unless I call for him."

Merlin tried to give him a comforting smile, but Arthur wasn't sure he could feel any sort of comfort at the moment. He locked eyes with Leon, who wasn't faring much better with his own panic. Dear gods, that monster was still out there! They had all been living under a false sense of security! And all the while, Merlin was smiling at him like there was nothing wrong at all!

Arthur took a deep breath and tried to think through the haze of his panic. Right, Merlin hadn't killed the dragon. That made sense, since Merlin hated killing anything at all, much less the most dangerous monster on the planet. Right. But, according to Merlin, the dragon physically couldn't enter Camelot or hurt any humans.

Information, what Arthur needed was more information. If he had more information, he could come up with a strategy to keep Camelot safe from the dragon indefinitely. Merin's orders had worked for now, but there was no guarantee that those would work forever.

Forever... wait a minute...

"Merlin," Arthur called out frantically, fueled by an awful thought. "How long does a dragonlord's order bind a dragon?" Please say forever, please say forever...

Merlin's eyebrows shot up, apparently not expecting Arthur to ask such a question.

"Well, any dragonlord's order is fully binding to a dragon up until the original dragonlord rescinds the order or the dragonlord dies, whichever comes first."

Arthur felt panic's icy fingers wrap around his heart. Arthur despised even thinking about any hypothetical death of Merlin's, couldn't fathom an empty life as the king without his friend, but this, this information put a whole new layer of dread onto the though, which Arthur previously thought wasn't even possible. He could see the other knights catching onto his logic as well, while Merlin still sat on his log, looking at all of them confusedly.

If Merlin somehow died, then his banishment on the dragon was lifted. And if that happened, there would be no dragonlord left to stop it from reducing all of Camelot to ash. If Merlin died, then Camelot was doomed.

This new knowledge sat heavy in Arthur's gut, putting him on edge. Balinor had been killed from a bandit's crossbow bolt, something that Merlin faced regularly while following Arthur around. All it would take was one lucky shot on a bandit's part, and all of Camelot would die.

One bandit attack gone wrong, one assassin from Morgana, one accident on the training field, one illness contracted from a patient, and all of Camelot would go up in smoke.

Wait... dragons lived for thousands of years... and Merlin would, if Arthur had his way, live for at least a hundred years, but everyone died eventually. The dragon would surely outlive Merlin, and then the only way that Camelot would still stand was if there was another dragonlord! But Merlin was the only one left, and it was passed down from...

from father to son.

Arthur choked on air as he realized it. Good god, what had his life come to?!

If Camelot was going to survive, Merlin needed to have a son, and have one quickly. For the continued survival of Camelot to be ensured, Merlin needed to find a wife and get laid.

Arthur wanted to start laughing hysterically. The fate of his kingdom rested upon Merlin's ability to sire a child.

Arthur stared at Merlin as the other man tried not to squirm under the shocked gazes of all the knights. Ok, he could do this, his kingdom would be safe from the dragon, he just needed a plan.

First, they needed to get Merlin back to Camelot, where he would be safe and away from murderous bandits. That part was easy enough, they were already heading back to the kingdom anyways. The knights had estimated that it would have taken them another three days to reach Camelot, but with all of the knights sharing Arthur panic around Merlin's safety, for both the sake of their friend himself and the kingdom, they were able to make it back in only two days.

For those two days, Merlin seemed more confused by their frantic and panicked behavior than anything else. His shocked and embarrassed face when Percival had helped him on and off his horse - "so he doesn't fall and get hurt", the gentle giant had rationalized - had been very amusing. All the while, Arthur planned out what they would do when they returned and repeatedly reassured Merlin that no, he wasn't too mad about Merlin letting the dragon live since Merlin could at least keep it away.

Then, they needed to ensure Merlin's protection in Camelot. Granted, there weren't many dangers in Camelot, but the clumsy fool could find danger anywhere. With his luck, Arthur would bet that Merlin would trip over some stairs in the castle and wind up bleeding out! That could be remedied by assigning knights to guard Merlin at all times in Camelot and keeping Merlin physically by his side as much as he could. Merlin raised an eyebrow at his new guards and schedule, which kept him glued to Arthur's hip at all hours of the day, but otherwise said nothing (besides a little mocking about how Arthur couldn't get anything done without him. Arthur tried not to think about how the familiar taunt rang far more true than he had ever realized.).

(Merlin, on his end, took these measures as a sign that he had lost Arthur's trust with the admission of letting the dragon live. What else was he supposed to think about knights following him 24/7 and being kept in Arthur's line of sight more than ever before?! Merlin consoled himself that it was by far more lenience than he had been expecting. Arthur hadn't threatened him, he wasn't being executed or exiled, Arthur was still treating him as a friend, and he had every chance to earn Arthur's trust back again. Really, if his punishment as just having to be with his knight friends at all times, then he could happily live with that.)

Still, Arthur didn't know how to go about the final part of his plan: ensuring that Merlin would have an heir to inherit his dragonlord powers and keep Camelot standing for generations to come. Of all of the trials and quests he'd faced, this one seemed to be the most daunting of all: finding a woman attracted to Merlin.

Arthur eventually settled on a plan. He'd have Gwaine accompany Merlin on long walks around the castle and the lower town, and the knight would report back to Arthur on which ladies had caught Merlin's eye, and which ladies Merlin had caught the eye of. Gwaine had a way to spotting attraction between people, something he frequently used to gather ammunition to tease his fellow knights with. With any luck, there would be some overlap between the two lists, and they could find some nice woman for Merlin to settle down with.

After a few weeks, however, Arthur found himself having to re-evaluate his plan. While Gwaine had reported that there were a good number of young ladies in the lower town that seemed to fancy Merlin, Merlin didn't seem to have eyes for anyone, which made their mission trickier.

Eventually, Arthur resorted to inviting Merlin over for dinner with him and Gwen, hoping to flaunt to Merlin how great the married life was and how Merlin was getting older and was running out of time to settle down and have children. To his disappointment, Merlin didn't seem to get the hint, instead telling both of them how much he appreciated them including him in their time together when they didn't have to. Arthur had to swallow back frustrated screams at his friend's obliviousness.

(Gwen, meanwhile, was perplexed by Arthur's push for Merlin to find a wife. At first glance, she would think that Arthur was worried about Merlin never settling down and starting a family, which was something Gwen sometimes worried about as well.

However, Arthur's push was more vehement than a concerned friend's. There was something there, some underlying passion forcing him to push Merlin towards a wife.

When Gwen finally realized the truth behind Arthur's efforts, it broke her heart. Gwen knew that her husband could be a bit old-fashioned in some ways, and that the prejudices that he must have grown up with as a noble were not easily shaken off, but still, that wasn't an excuse to be homophobic towards Merlin!

Gwen had figured out about her friend's preferences during the Lamia's attack, since Merlin was the only man unaffected. Truthfully though, Gwen had suspected long before that, given how Merlin had looked at both Lancelot and Gwaine. And while it was shocking for Gwen, she would support her friend no matter what!

So, she was very disappointed in Arthur's behavior. Arthur must have somehow learned about Merlin's preference towards men during their last quest, and now he was trying to pressure Merlin into finding a wife! She agreed that Merlin deserved a lovely family, but Arthur should not force him into the nobility's narrow definition of family! If Merlin wanted his lovely family to involve a husband instead of a wife and that's what made him happy, then that is what they all should wholeheartedly accept!

Gwen really needed to give her husband a stern talking-to before he could hurt Merlin with his prejudice!)

(Merlin, meanwhile, is far too sleep-deprived and stressed over keeping Arthur safe and the prophecy to even think about romance or starting a family. His disaster bisexual ass has too much on his plate right now.)

So, Arthur tries everything he could think of to find Merlin a wife. Unfortunately, Arthur is not nearly as good of a wingman to Merlin as Merlin was to him. Arthur had hosted many balls and feasts, making sure to invite attractive ladies around Merlin's age, but Merlin didn't even bat an eye at any of them.

Perhaps the only thing more frustrating than Merlin's lack of attention towards any of the young ladies of the court was the fact that, now that Arthur was looking for signs of anyone's affection towards Merlin, he could see how many members of his own court were smitten with his manservant.

And Arthur was just baffled because how?! How was that possible?! That Merlin, a lanky beanpole of a man with a blinding smile and charming wit and unending loyalty and eyes he could get lost in...

Where was Arthur going with that? Oh right. Merlin, with all of the suaveness of a wet sock, was somehow the object of desire for most of the ladies in waiting. Arthur was entirely baffled by it.

And just when Arthur thought that it couldn't get any worse, it did. It got so much worse when his wife sat him down and started lecturing him for some sort of prejudice that he was showing against Merlin by pushing him towards a wife, because apparently Merlin's eyes didn't stray towards women at all.

Look, Arthur knew that some of his own knights preferred the company of men, and he wouldn't begrudge them something like that. To each their own. But if Camelot was going to still be standing for Arthur's heir, Merlin needed to sire a son of his own.

After Arthur explained to Gwen the situation that they were in with the great dragon still alive and Merlin's life being the only thing holding the beast back from destroying Camelot, Gwen also became grave with the realization that they were stuck without a solution that would keep Camelot safe for the next generations.

Arthur moped around for a few weeks, unable to think of a single solution for the situation he had found himself trapped in. How on earth was he supposed to get Merlin to have a biological son if Merlin doesn't even like women?!

Wait, but Merlin had liked a woman, at one point. Perhaps his preferences had changed, but at one point, he was willing to sacrifice himself, to willingly confess to sorcery in front of Uther Pendragon, in order to keep the woman he loved alive. And Arthur knew that love like that didn't die easily. And Arthur should know, since he loved the same woman in the same way.

From then on, Arthur kept a keen eye on Merlin and his wife. He knew that his wife would never be unfaithful to him with Merlin, and Merlin had been nothing but supportive towards Arthur and Gwen's relationship, even when Arthur himself had given up on it. Still, Arthur knew that if Merlin had eyes for one woman in the world, it would have to be Gwen. He saw the way that Merlin looked at Gwen sometimes. Merlin didn't look at any other woman that way.

Gwen had confessed that she had romantic feelings towards Merlin at one point, and Merlin certainly had some sort of feelings for Gwen that went beyond platonic. Arthur swallowed dryly as he thought about it. Could... could that be the only way?

(Cue slowburn Mergwenthur, with Arthur trying to set up Gwen and Merlin together with a heavy heart, while the other two are kinda oblivious and mistake it as Arthur wanting a threesome, which they would be more than happy to go along with, along with Arthur slowly realizing his own feelings for Merlin.)

(Meanwhile, since Arthur's crap at communicating, Merlin doesn't actually realize that it all started because they thought that they needed Merlin to have a son to keep Camelot safe from the dragon after Merlin was dead. Upon Arthur finally telling him, Merlin then has to awkwardly informs them that he's immortal and doesn't really need to sire an heir.

Arthur, understandably, screams into a pillow at the news that his efforts were pointless, while his lovers laugh gently at him and start kissing him to make up for all the stress he had to go through.)

And that's all for this au! I hoped you liked Arthur's himbo-ness shining through one again!

Thanks for reading through my ramblings! :D

The way this idea is so good that I can literally feel this idea slowly taking over my body, possessing me to write about it.

You could also add the fact that Arthur knows that Pendragons all eventually grow mad over time, so Arthur thinks that Merlin, as a figment of his own imagination, is just the first sign of the downfall of his mental state.

But that's his emotional support hallucination, his friendly sleep paralysis demon, so he can't bring himself to hate Merlin, even though, to Arthur, he's a sign that Arthur is going mad and losing touch with reality.

To throw in some more angst, Arthur could believe that Merlin is a hallucination so deeply that he still sees and hears Merlin even when Merlin's isn't actually there. He can't differentiate between the real Merlin and the Merlin that his mind makes up, since he believes that he's hallucinating both of them.

It's also why Arthur is so hesitant to touch Merlin most of the time: either his hand will go straight through Merlin, confirming that Arthur is, indeed, going mad, or Merlin will be solid under his hand, meaning that Arthur's cannot tell reality from illusion, even by touch, and what would that mean for the world around him? Had he made all of it up? Had he ever seen beyond the fog of his own insanity?

This idea so SO FASCINATING!! I love it so much!!

EDIT: I can't believe I didn't think of this before, but when the knights and Gwen eventually catch on to the whole "Arthur believes that Merlin is a hallucination" situation, they try to point out that yes, they can see Merlin too, they can describe to Arthur exactly what Merlin looks like and what he's doing, so he therefore can't be a figment of Arthur's imagination. And Arthur just turns to them sadly and apologize and say that he didn't know that his condition was contagious. The knights and Gwen try very, very hard not to call Arthur an idiot.

The greatest mystery in bbc merlin to this day is just what was Arthur thinking every time he dragged Merlin into danger with him like some kind of emotional support plushie without any protection.

Sometimes I get the feeling Arthur thought he just made up Merlin in his mind and he isn't real. Like, he's just an imaginary friend who keeps him entertained, makes up silly words, understands him to the core and always has the right answers, often times answers he doesn't like, but the subconscious do be like that.

He doesn't need armour or any protection cause he isn't real. Plus it's easy to keep being mean to your best friend for no reason when you think he's actually you - and you're always mad at you

Hello again everyone! Since the "Archeologist Merlin and Immortal Camelot" au won the continuation poll, here is part 3 of this au!

You can find part 1 here, and part 2 here!

As a recap for this au, Merlin died at Camlann instead of Arthur, which led to his magic dispersing and making everyone in Camelot immortal, but it could only sustain them for so long before Merlin's prophesized return, so all of Camelot spent several centuries asleep, waiting for Merlin to return. Merlin, however, is reincarnated without his memories or his magic, and becomes an archeologist who is assigned to a dig site of an old medieval city. When he returns to Camelot, his dormant magic wakes everybody up again, leading to him and his coworkers believing that they had woken up the dead somehow and now were going to be killed for it. They're captured by Arthur and the knights, who assume that Merlin still remembers everything and is being kidnapped by the other archeologists. Arthur then has dinner with Merlin and figures out that, not only can Merlin not understand what he's saying, Merlin doesn't remember him at all. Arthur tries to jog Merlin's memory, but when that fails, Arthur kisses Merlin instead, which returns his memories to him.

Now that we've recapped what's happened, onto the new stuff!

NOTE: You can find the translations of the Old English at the bottom!

After Merlin's memories returned to him, he and Arthur had a very long conversation about how Merlin hadn't actually risen from the Lake of Avalon, as Arthur believed, but was rather reborn and lived an entire life before fate brought him back to Arthur's side and returned his magic and memories to him. Arthur, very distressed, asked Merlin if he had found a new lover in his new life, if one of Merlin's coworkers whom he had imprisoned was actually Merlin's new lover.

Much to Arthur's relief, Merlin shook his head, and told Arthur with a smile that his heart had held off, waiting to return to Arthur.

After Arthur released Merlin's colleagues, they wouldn't leave, insisting that they wouldn't leave Merlin behind to suffer at the hands of a terrifying undead king. It took a lot convincing on Merlin's part to make them leave temporarily, but Merlin came up with some explanation that they had found a way for Merlin to speak their language, and he was going to negotiate with them. It was the best that Merlin could do, considering that he couldn't really tell them the full truth that he was a reincarnation of a sorcerer who was friends with the king without convincing them that he had lost his mind.

However, after Merlin proved to them that he could now speak Old English and could communicate with the "undead" knights, his coworkers hesitantly made their way back out of the castle and up to the surface. They did insist that Merlin radio up to them every day so that they knew he was safe, which Merlin readily agreed to. He liked his colleagues, he really did, and he was very grateful that they were so willing to try to protect him, but he needed to be able to get to work without their interference.

Arthur and pretty much everyone else in Camelot were under the impression that Merlin would immediately return to work in the castle, working as either Arthur's advisor or his court sorcerer, which were positions that Arthur never had the chance to elevate Merlin to before his death. Arthur had only found out about Merlin's magic moments before Merlin sacrificed his life for Arthur's at Camlann. After Arthur was able to think past the grief that clouded his every thought following Merlin's death, he had legalized magic in Merlin's memory, fulfilling his destiny before he even knew about the prophecies.

However, Merlin knew that he couldn't drop off the face of the earth to move back into Camelot. If he disappeared, someone would notify the authorities, and if the government found the immortal kingdom Camelot, then all hell would break loose. No, Merlin had to keep up appearances in the life he had built for himself since his reincarnation.

But Arthur wasn't too thrilled to hear Merlin tell him that he needed to leave so soon after he had returned.

"Hwæt eart þū blǣdere on ymbe, Myrddin? Hwī wolde þū æfre neódan to lǣfan? Hwæt is swā micel be þǣm worulde ūt þǣr þæt hit þē ættrǣde fram Camelot?"

Merlin sighed deeply, looking at Arthur's pouting face. It was nice to see that Arthur was still a prat even after centuries apart.

"Ic nele þæt þæt geweorþe, ac gif ic forwurðe to þinum sīþum, mæg folc cuman me secan. Ic nele bēon þæt wundor þæt Camelot bið on gefēa. Se weoruld is māre gefēra þonne þu hī læftest, and ic nele geseon þæt ǣnig in Camelot bēo ġehyrsted."

Arthur puffed his chest in both indignation and pride. Merlin smiled, knowing what Arthur would say next.

"Nydwracu, Myrddin! Camelot is se strangesta gefeohtan mægen on eallum lande! Wē habbað bēon untēohlic and unāslegen for fēowertig wintra þanc þīnre gife! Ic behēte þē, wē magon ġefēran ǣghwæt þæt se ūteweard weoruld hæfð to āwurpan ūs."

Merlin gave Arthur a smile, but they could both tell that it was a bit strained. Arthur truly had no idea how dangerous the modern world had become, what vile weapons of destruction mankind had developed. Merlin wished to spare him that knowledge, and certainly didn't want Arthur to see it firsthand. Arthur gave Merlin a more reassuring smile back and clapped a hand on his shoulder, shaking Merlin gently.

"Būton þon, wē habbað se strangesta wiccecræftiga on eallum weorulde on ūrum gefēohte! Nān ōðer ne mihte wið ūs ġestandan gif hī dorston ūs tō ācwellan!"

Arthur's words had Merlin laughing, and Arthur smiled at him like he'd achieved something great. Oh, Arthur truly had no idea how different the world was, how little magic was left in it.

But still, Merlin feared for the safety of all of Camelot if he stayed. No, Camelot would be safest if it remained hidden, and Merlin couldn't let any attention be brought to it. His colleagues were already too frightened by their experience and the assumed "curse" that woke up the "dead" in the castle to tell anyone about what they truly found at the dig site.

Still, Merlin needed to provide his bosses some excuse for why they shouldn't proceed with any further excavations at this site, and he needed to come up with some explanation for all of his friends and other coworkers why he would need to put his life on hold for a while to work out some plan to make sure that Camelot can continue to exist in the modern world in peace.

And to do any of that, Merlin needed to leave Camelot for the time being. And still, Arthur resisted Merlin's suggestions that he needed to leave. Merlin supposed that, to Arthur, they could stay in the castle forever and just fend off whatever attacks came their way, and so there was no reason for Merlin to leave and venture back out into the scary, unfamiliar modern world.

While Merlin was somewhat touched by Arthur's fierce protectiveness, it wasn't helping in this situation.

"Ic Arthur, ic hæfde lifode on ðære ūtan weorulde for mīn eall līf siððan ic wæs ācenned. Ic beoð swīðe sāl on ðǣr!"

Arthur's frustration made itself known as he understood the implication that Merlin had been living in such a dangerous unknown world without any Arthur or any of his friend to support him.

"Ac þū self cwæðest þæt se middangeard is geworden swīðe dēadlic stōw! Þū ne scealt þē self in swylc unnyt gefāra, nā swā hræd swā þū eart eft to ūs gewend!"

Merlin frowned, trying to come up with some sort of compromise. He needed to keep Camelot safe, but to do that, he needed to leave, which he couldn't do with an overprotective dollopheaded king blocking his exit!

"Dēst þū þincð þæt geseon ðone ūtan weorulde mihte gelǣcan ðīn fyrhto? Ic mihte niman þē and sume ōðre mid mē eft to ðǣr ic hæfde lifode for ðā fēower geara, þæt þū mæge geseon ðone nīwan weoruld fram sumum sāllicum stōwe."

It was the best solution that Merlin could come up with. If Arthur came with him, he could see how much the world had changed and keep an eye on Merlin to his own satisfaction. Arthur looked rather determined as he accepted Merlin's offer.

"Gōd, ic ālǣte hit, ac gif wē mētað in gefāra, ic bebēode þæt wē gewendan to Camelot hrædlice. Ic ne wylle þæt wē beoð besencen in ādligum getimbrung butan ǣnigum fultume."

Merlin nodded and smiled at Arthur, trying to find the words to prepare Arthur for what he would face in the outside world, but largely failing. Merlin radioed his coworkers to let them know that he was coming out of the ruins with the king in tow, much to their shock and panic.

Merlin: Hey, I'm heading back home!

Other archeologists: Yay, you've escaped!

Merlin: And I'm taking the hot maybe-undead king home with me!

Other archeologists: Damn, we didn't know that you were freaky like that Merlin. You sure that's a good idea?

Merlin: ... I don't know if there's a correct response to that.

Merlin's colleagues all held their breath as the king, still in his armor and still fully armed with aa sword, exited from the sunken castle onto the dig site. He glared at them, but allowed himself to be led by Merlin over to Merlin's care. They all let out a sigh of relief when he was finally out of sight.

Merlin, on his part, tried to describe a car to Arthur before he actually rode in one, hoping to prepare him for the inevitable shock. He can plainly see that Arthur cannot imagine the "loud horseless carriage" that Merlin was describing, but he'd see it soon enough.

Arthur was rather shocked to see Merlin's car, looking unsure of what to make of what must like to him to be a large, malformed lump of steel. Merlin coaxed Arthur into sitting in the passenger seat and buckled him in, explaining that the restraint was for safety.

Arthur had done a remarkable job of remaining calm, in Merlin's opinion, before Merlin started the car. As the engine roared to life, Arthur yelped with fright, looking frantically around the inside of the car like he was inside the body of a ferocious beast.

Merlin took a few minutes to calm Arthur down, explaining that it was normal, and the car wasn't going to hurt either of them. After Arthur's panic seemed to subside, Merlin put the car in drive and started the 45 minute trip back to his flat, with Arthur keeping a hand clenched on the hilt of his sword for the entire ride.

Luckily, the route back to Merlin's flat took them through the countryside, so Arthur didn't have to experience the sensory overload of a city, but Arthur still caught glimpses of modern-day homes and shops.

Once they arrived at Merlin's flat, Merlin gently parked his car and led Arthur up the stairs to the level where he lived. All the while, Arthur stared at everything around him, from the electric lights to the unnaturally smooth walls to the odd floors that were made of some soft material.

Eventually, they arrived at Merlin's flat, and he let Arthur inside. Arthur froze almost immediately after passing over the threshold, unsure of what to make of... anything in the space.

Absolutely nothing looked similar to what was in Camelot. Arthur slowly made his way into the middle of the room, his hand still clenched on his sword's hilt. Everything looked so strange and foreign, with possible dangers hiding behind every corner.

Merlin tried to show him a few things, like how the torches in the ceiling could be lit and extinguished by flipping a little nub on the wall, which must b the work of sorcery, or how the strange steel box in Merlin's kitchen could keep food cold for days, which Arthur had been intrigued by. Merlin must have used his magic to capture the northern tundra in this box!

Merlin then showed him the "living room", where there were more familiar things like chairs and bookshelves, but also a strange black box on the wall. Perhaps it was some odd decoration?

Then Merlin showed him the bedrooms, which were, to Arthur's relief, not that different from bedrooms in Camelot. There was a bed, chests of drawers, and a room that acted similarly to a wardrobe.

However, Merlin then showed him the bathroom, where there was a bathtub that magically filled itself with water coming from the wall, and a latrine that magically cleaned itself with water!

After the tour, Merlin sat him down on the wide seat on the living room and told him to relax while he had to send a message to someone.

From there, I imagine this au could go two ways. Either it becomes a funny sitcom with Merlin trying to get his medieval friends accustomed to modern-day life, or it becomes an angsty drama about Merlin having to live a double life and having to live with being caught between two different worlds, knowing that if the government or the general public knew about his magic or Camelot's existence, it would mean disaster for everyone he cares about. I'll let you guys decide which version you like more!

TRANSLATIONS:

Hwæt eart þū blǣdere on ymbe, Myrddin? Hwī wolde þū æfre neódan to lǣfan? Hwæt is swā micel be þǣm worulde ūt þǣr þæt hit þē ættrǣde fram Camelot? = What are you blabbering on about, Merlin? Why would you ever need to leave? What's so great about the world out there that it would pull you away from Camelot?

Ic nele þæt þæt geweorþe, ac gif ic forwurðe to þinum sīþum, mæg folc cuman me secan. Ic nele bēon þæt wundor þæt Camelot bið on gefēa. Se weoruld is māre gefēra þonne þu hī læftest, and ic nele geseon þæt ǣnig in Camelot bēo ġehyrsted. = If the people in the outside world find out about Camelot, they might try to attack. I don't want that to happen, but if I disappear to stay with you all, people might come looking for me. I don't want to be the reason that Camelot is put in danger. The world is a much more dangerous place than you left it, and I don't want to see anyone in Camelot get hurt.

Nydwracu, Myrddin! Camelot is se strangesta gefeohtan mægen on eallum lande! Wē habbað bēon untēohlic and unāslegen for fēowertig wintra þanc þīnre gife! Ic behēte þē, wē magon ġefēran ǣghwæt þæt se ūteweard weoruld hæfð to āwurpan ūs. = Nonsense, Merlin! Camelot is the strongest fighting force in all the land! We have been untouchable and undefeated for centuries thanks to your gift! I assure you, we can handle anything that the outside world has to throw at us.

Būton þon, wē habbað se strangesta wiccecræftiga on eallum weorulde on ūrum gefēohte! Nān ōðer ne mihte wið ūs ġestandan gif hī dorston ūs tō ācwellan! = Besides, we have the strongest sorcerer in the world on our side! No one else would stand a chance against us if they dared to attack!

Ic Arthur, ic hæfde lifode on ðære ūtan weorulde for mīn eall līf siððan ic wæs ācenned. Ic beoð swīðe sāl on ðǣr! = Arthur, I have lived in the outside world for my entire life since I was reborn. I will be perfectly safe out there!

Ac þū self cwæðest þæt se middangeard is geworden swīðe dēadlic stōw! Þū ne scealt þē self in swylc unnyt gefāra, nā swā hræd swā þū eart eft to ūs gewend! = But you said yourself that the world has become a much dangerous place! You shouldn't put yourself in such unnecessary danger, not so soon after you've returned to us!

Dēst þū þincð þæt geseon ðone ūtan weorulde mihte gelǣcan ðīn fyrhto? Ic mihte niman þē and sume ōðre mid mē eft to ðǣr ic hæfde lifode for ðā fēower geara, þæt þū mæge geseon ðone nīwan weoruld fram sumum sāllicum stōwe. = Do you think that seeing the outside world would help ease your fears? I could take you and a few others with me back to where I've been living for the past few years, so that you can see the new world from somewhere safe.

Gōd, ic ālǣte hit, ac gif wē mētað in gefāra, ic bebēode þæt wē gewendan to Camelot hrædlice. Ic ne wylle þæt wē beoð besencen in ādligum getimbrung butan ǣnigum fultume. = Fine, I'll allow it, but if we run into danger, I demand that we return to Camelot at once. I do not want us to be caught in a dangerous situation without any backup.

And that's all for now for this au! Quick question for everyone though: I feel like I've got enough material already written on this au to reformat it a bit and post it as a fic on ao3. Would you all like for me to do that? Please let me know if so!

And thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D