It's Always The Same Pattern: Humor, Teasing, Anything To Mask The Truth. It Doesn't Come So Easily This

it's always the same pattern: humor, teasing, anything to mask the truth. it doesn't come so easily this time. any smart retort back is frozen with anxious anticipation, rhysand's focus zeroed in onto one thing. waiting, waiting, waiting. how many times has he asked her this? he's already expecting avoidance, some attempt to dance around the question yet again. and in truth, he could not blame her. for once, after fleeing from trap after trap, she has freedom. to think she may already know what she wants to do with it would only be setting him up for disappointment.

he carefully watches feyre as she moves around the kitchen. it must have been filled with dust when she arrived, now spotless besides the cans of paint that rest on the counter. it had been years since anyone stepped foot into this place, neglected when years were lost from him. he can remember the last time they were all here, the last time they spent a holiday together as a family. ( cassian drunkenly singing christmas carols as morrigan dances, amren complaining, azriel sneaking through the gifts. ) how something felt missing, even then. like he's been waiting for her all this time.

" no more secrets. " feyre's confessions unravel his own, as much as he wishes to linger on her words for longer. his truth is not so simple, an admittance of guilt, that could very well lead to her taking it all back. " we'll start where we left off, i suppose. that day, with your father ... i had just started working for amarantha. she was giving me tasks, to prove myself. how compliant i would actually be. everything up until then, i did. i put on a show for her, killed without even so much as flinching. and then she sent me to your house. that was the first time she trusted me on my own — with two other men, just in case. "

" however, it seemed simple enough. an older man, in debt for years, with no clear plan on paying it back. i was ordered to kill him, and then take everything he owned of value, if anything. i was surprised, compared to everything else ... it was straightforward. until — until i saw you. i quickly realized she knew he had daughters. she knew, and wanted them to watch. i couldn't do it. i refused. but, i had convinced the other two that he wasn't worth the time. he didn't have anything, anyways. i told them to just scare him, that a man like that wouldn't try anything again. so they did ... all i could remember was the look on your face. how terrified you were. "

" afterwards, i killed them to cover up my tracks. i told her that your father shot them, and that i finished the job. i knew she didn't believe me. she didn't say anything, but she made it clear later on. " a breath, he grimaces, arms crossing over his chest. " flashforward a couple years, i heard tamlin was throwing a party. i was bored, and admittedly drunk, so i thought i would have some fun myself and pay him a visit — but then i saw that same girl from years ago, with his arm wrapped around her. i thought my mind was playing tricks on me, that maybe i had finally gone mad from all of amarantha's torment. i waited until he left you alone to get a closer look, to ease my mind. but when we started talking, it didn't take long for me to confirm it. and even worse, that you had no idea just who tamlin really was. i wanted to ruin everything right then and there. i thought that i had to get you out of there as soon as possible, before you ended up in the same spot your father did. "

" but i was foolish. i hadn't realized amarantha was at the party, watching you with tamlin ... and then with me. she was jealous, and she wanted something to hold over tamlin's head. she asked me for information, and i knew the name you gave me wasn't yours. i never knew your full name, but i remembered it had to be archeron, so i told her what you gave me. clare beddor. i thought sending her on a wild goose chase would give me enough time to convince you to drop tamlin, leave the city and never come back again. " he flinches as he remembers. the screams induced from that one mistake, the smell of burnt flesh, the guilt he carries around to this day. " i had no idea she was a real person. i wouldn't have ... i would have never given her that name if i had known. she had her brought in, and when she saw it wasn't actually you, she was furious. she had her tortured, for days i could hear her screaming. and then — she finally got her hands on you. "

" i had no idea she was bringing you in. she did it all secretly, as if she knew i would try to stop it. and she was right. the second i saw you, i knew i would do anything to get you out alive. so i played my cards right, kept on her good side just so i could sneak you that gun. i was terrified. i knew you had never used one before, so when everything was happening ... i knew i would have to step in. when i picked up that knife, i didn't care what happened to me, as long as you made it. i thought i did it. i thought i saved you. but i was too slow, and she got to you so fast. by the time i could finally get back up, she shot you. i couldn't move. i didn't want to move, because i realized i didn't want to live in a world that you aren't in. if tamlin didn't step in, i would have let her end me there. but instead, i watched as he killed her, and then held you in his arms. tamlin, who did nothing the whole time, who sat by and watched as you were kept as a pet for days on end — " his voice breaks, tears freely streaking his cheeks.

" when they took you away, i thought you were dead. i was finally able to go see mor again, my family ... but i couldn't. i followed them to the hospital, and i sat there. i sat there for days. i paid off any staff members who tried to tell me to leave, and then i waited for any sign that you were okay. but to my surprise, tamlin told me. for the first time in days, i felt alive again. like i finally had a reason. he said i wasn't allowed to visit you, but i was planning on bursting through your room the moment he walked away. i didn't even know what i was going to say, i didn't even know if you wanted to see me — but a selfish part of me needed to see you. it didn't matter though. shortly after, i heard him propose. i heard you say yes. and i told myself that was all the closure i needed. i convinced myself that it was for the best. that if i let myself love you, that you would just be taken from me anyways. so i kept my distance. but i couldn't stop ... i couldn't stop being around you, and loving you, and wanting you. i still can't stay away. "

i bit back the flicker of a subtle smile, a natural reflex to the surprise and doubt in his tone — a reminder of how easy it was to slip back into frivolous and fluid banter with him. it was always an obvious defense mechanism for us both, allowing us to avoid delving deeper and acknowledging what remained unspoken. as if we knew each other inside and out, each trigger and quirk, and yet we still had so much to learn about one another. still so much to share and discover. i held up the microwave dinner i had pulled from the fridge just minutes before his arrival. “ i know how to use a microwave. ”

it would have been so easy to ignore his original question, just as i had plenty times before. but even as i turned my back to reheat the frozen dish, his words hung in the air between us. what do you want, feyre? months spent unknowing, running from the frayed inevitability, it had finally caught up with me. i could feel my entire body sigh with relieved surrender. “ i want to know everything. all of it. no more secrets, no more lies, no more games. ” i pulled his dinner from the microwave, placing it in front of him as i spoke, before sitting in the chair adjacent to him. the truth had to start with me. softly, i met his gaze — those eyes once again enough to upend me. “ i want to tell you how much i missed you. how you’re all i’ve thought about this week. how glad i am that you’re alright. how i can’t sleep without you. ”

small little thing. i updated my rules to include that i won't be writing with any portrayals of nyx or amarantha. hope u guys understand mwah

how could i even start on what attracted me to your blog?! from following you from asteria i knew YOU were rhysand. the way you capture his likeness, his voice, his demeanor in such a beautiful and uniquely poetic way just never fails to blow me off my feet. you are an incredible writer and even kinder mun! i adore you and i will never not follow you until the end of the stars themselves. xo

what about my portrayal attracted you to my blog?

SWEETIEEEE ... i'm at a loss for words. writing with you is always so much fun and i love the dynamic we've created with asteria and rhys. thank you for allowing me to explore different sides of rhys that i otherwise wouldn't be able to! you're truly one of the only people i trust with his sister because you do SUCH a good job with her. AND I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE WITH YOU ON HERE AS WELL eeeeeee thank you so much for this!!

am I the history I have endured ? I do not know anymore. independent & mutually private portrayal of THE VAMPIRE ARMAND of AMC'S INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. show verse with personal flavor. peruse carrd carefully, interviewed by pamola. promo credit.

rhys really doesn't care about what anyone thinks of him besides feyre and i think thats hot

PROMPTS FOR YEARNING, LOTS OF YEARNING... *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

i had a dream about you last night.

i remember every single kiss you took from me.

you are my everything.

i feel the same way about you.

where you go, i follow.

you're mine. you've always been mine.

i'm in love with you to the point of breathlessness.

after all this time, you still give me butterflies.

you make it hard to breathe, you know.

you fixed me. you fixed my broken heart.

i will not go another breath without you.

i crave you.

i need to be close to you.

i think i've loved you since the day we met.

i'm with you.

you touched me, and i came alive.

the universe isn't big enough to hold the depths of how i feel for you.

are you sure we're not dreaming?

kiss me again, and don't stop this time.

i can't bear the thought of living without you.

you complete me.

i want all of you. every piece of you.

i won't lose you again.

you're the most important person i have ever known.

the universe gave you to me.

you're the answer to every question i've ever had.

i want you close. i want to feel you sigh.

how am i supposed to do this without you? i can't.

all i love i knew before... it's nothing like the love i have with you.

you changed everything. everything looks different now that you're here.

i'm not ready to let go of you.

i want you safe. i want you close to me.

you fixed all of my broken pieces. you stitched me back together.

nothing will take you away from me.

i love you in every language and in every song.

i need you.

i'd rather die than let you go.

i need a whole day with you, spent in bed, just the two of us.

all that i am and everything i'll ever be belongs to you.

do you have any idea what you do to me?

stop looking at me like that. i can't focus.

you can't expect me to just... wait like this.

don't go. do that again, please.

you are everything i could ever want.

i was an empty shell until we met. i was a haunted house, darkened with pain, and you turned my lights on.

you are the most beautiful person i have ever seen.

i'm always going to be madly in love with you.

if you don't kiss me again, i'll die.

i crave the taste of your kiss.

i can't believe you're real.

if you only knew what you did to me...

there aren't enough words to explain how much i love you.

i love you more than anything.

a life without you isn't a life worth living.

don't let go of me.

you're the only one that matters.

you don't know what you do to me.

pretty sure i've fallen in love with you four times today.

you're my love.

lay with me. be with me.

they don't know you the way i do.

don't give up on me. don't give up on us.

you know what that does to me.

not even the poets could properly describe what you mean to me.

i miss the way it felt to be touched by you.

you are the sun and the stars and every other golden thing in the universe.

am i dreaming? is this real life?

i was living life half-alive until i met you.

i've never needed anyone like i need you.

please take my hand. hold it and never let go.

i love when the sun hits your eyes. you're glowing.

be with me tonight.

i've only ever wanted you. just you.