I'm Killing Time By Decorating My Helmet With LEDs Anew. The Lights On The Icon Variant Thriller Lasted

I'm killing time by decorating my helmet with LEDs anew.  The lights on the Icon Variant Thriller lasted from December to May, which was when I crashed and had to retire the helmet.

So I'm sitting here sticking the lights to the peak on my Scorpion Exo and this church asshole keeps glancing over at me and I can tell he's dieing to say something.

 I finish up and he blurts out to the audio guy "There's no way that's gonna hold!"

 I calmly inform him it held last year.  And last year I used low tack green painters tape.   So by logic, the gaff tape I have now should be even better.

He's flustered for a second, then retorts gleefully "then you must not go very fast!" as he grins triumphantly at the audio guy again.

 "Yah, I mean, I've only got a 750cc Adventure bike so I top out around 180 (km).  Maybe if I could break 250  I'd work in more zip ties."

 He got mad and turned his back to me. And hasn't talked or looked at me since.

""We need someone small who can fit up here":

My world is drywall dust and metal studs.

Also the floor is non-load-bearing ceiling tiles lava.

I am "smol", as the kids these days say. I think. Short, scrawny, underweight, harmless looking. But also really flexible and agile and pretty darn good balance. So being height challenged I too often find myself straining to reach just another inch or two to secure some clamp or loosen some bolt or clip in a safety - and No, Anrita, I can't "just make the lift go higher" because there's gods damned structural steel in the way.

Net result is I'm constantly just jumping up on the kickplate of the bucket, or standing on the apex of an A-Frame, or any number of things that are giving other people heart attacks, and I'm like; "If I feel unsafe, I don't do it. But safety laws are also for the lowest common denominator. 50 year old, overweight white men with bad backs and knees." Just because Gary can't even imagine balancing on one foot with another hooked over a pipe and an elbow braced to the wall, doesn't mean I can't zip up like a squirrel and get it done.

And yah, there're been a few "I've wildly misjudged this" moments.

I may have been in a Genie lift working by myself once, and when asked "why is this taking so long" I pointed out I needed to come in, climb out, move the lift, go back up, repeat. Every five feet. They jokingly teased about an old worker there who would just grab the (wall anchored) pipes, brace his gut on the railing, and pull the lift around, while elevated. And then left.

About ten minutes later, already frustrated at the tediousness of it all, I thought to myself; "Hell. If Ronnie could do it..." So I gripped the pipe, braced, and tugged. The bucket shifted forward smoothly. I'm about 18 feet up, and expected more wobble or resistance, but it was really quiet easy. Surprised, and pleased, I pulled forward a couple more feet then went to let go of the pipe.

And that's when I felt the bucket sway.

Disclaimer: The outriggers may have not been in because FFS it was already taking too long. Always operate elevation devices with all required safety features in place.

So my hands, instead of relaxing, death gripped the pipe as I realized what was happening below me. I wasn't pulling the base of the lift along as I'd believed. I was pulling the bucket, and tipping the lift over. I ccaaareeefully retraced my path until I heard the "thunk" of the rear wheels hitting the floor again, descended, got out of the bucket, and spent about five minutes in a chair contemplating poor life choices.

TL:DR = Use your outriggers. But also acknowledge some people are just comfortable in possibly risky situations.

some of you never watched your life flash before your eyes while standing one rung higher than recommended on a ladder to hang lights and it shows

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok

My studio venue had one - it had been bought because the mainstage operator wanted to slave it to his system for moving lights when my room didn't have shows. He was vetoed because the possibility of rentals. So I had a "moving light" board in a room that just needed scene playback with outdated conventional fixtures. It. Was. THE. WORST.

We didn't even have a monitor so I had to use the tiny pixel display to guess intensity. It's only seven pixels tall? What the hell % is 5 out of 7 pixels?

It's gotten SLIGHTLY better since ten years ago - I was there back in the fall and they'd finally put updates on it and ETC added the ability to designate which Point cue you want to insert a cue as. When I was running it, it would just auto assign a point by splitting the middle of the cue you were in and the next cue. So if you had a Cue 2 and 3 and designer wants to add three cues in between? Be in Cue 2 and build 2.5 - then be in Cue 2 to build 2.3 - then be in Cue 2.5 to build 2.7. Good times.

Anyone I've mentioned that board to has also groaned and rolled their eyes and asked "WHY."

A good anecdote however: I was running a spot light for the Hamilton, Ontario stop of the BTS concert last year, and there were eight of us out on a line of truss suspended at the far end of the arena. Below us was the FoH stage, covered in consoles and controllers and operators, and camera operators for the live feed LED screens.

So I'm peering down at the lighting boards, the backup lighting boards, the lighting board specifically for the spot lights, and so on and so on when something catches my eye.

We were in a lull so I thumb my headset open to ask the American who was in charge of the equipment and standing by in case the Korean operator had any issues... "Is that... An ETC Smartfade...? In the last row of tables?"

"Sure is," he responds in his smooth southern drawl.

"Holy shit," I exclaim. "I've never actually seen one being actually used in a professional lighting rig!" Was my little garbage studio board actually useful after all?

"Oh, no," he responded, chuckling. "It's for the Pyro."

Photos mine, do not reuse without permission, because I probably shouldn't have taken or be sharing them in the first place but c'mon, Smartfade, lawl. It's the redheaded stepchild.

Can someone who actually does lighting/more tech than I do confirm that Smartfade lightboards are terrible

Because I’m stuck working with one in a rented storefront right now and honestly, what the fuck

The most important sign of any concert load-in or movie/tv location shoot.