If That's The Most Important Thing For A Load-in, Then This Is The Most Important Thing Of A Load-out.

If that's the most important thing for a load-in, then this is the most important thing of a load-out.

One size fits fattest, as usual. I have so many unused dresses.

The most important sign of any concert load-in or movie/tv location shoot.

On the topic of precarious ladders:

So writing about working at heights hijinks and life-panicing moments got me thinking about an old member of my first local. This guy had been installing wiring for the Big Bang, I garuntee. We were talking one day about ladder adventures. Both being short, small, and overconfident, we had plenty of moments to swap, but his took the cake.

He was on a North American tour of an Opera, back in his day, and they were down in the States, I want to say California but I can't recall precisely.

So this venue they're at, they're doing the load in, and it has this odd grating installed over the last few feet of the stage that allows the actors to walk right above the orchestra, a sort of grid covered pit.

The touring rig has a lighting pipe that needs to be hung right out over the stage edge, so motor lines are dropped in, everything is built and hooked up, and up it goes. But then, the local crew explains to Ronnie, because of the unique floor covering the pit, it wasn't load bearing enough for a scissor lift to be run across it. "But how do we focus those lights?" Ronnie asked, confused.

So that's when the house crew went out into the house, up to the back of the third balcony, and pulled out three segments of an extension ladder, 20 feet each. A quick chat determined that the apron pipe was about 40 feet above the deck, so two chunks of the ladder were passed over the edge of the third balcony to the second; over the second to the main floor, carried out to the edge of the stage, and linked together.

"Now what," Ronnie asks, probably well caught on, but just making sure. The local guys grin, and walk the ladder upright. Then four of them get around the base. "Up you go."

40 feet, straight vertical, no safety, nowhere to anchor to, no wall around, held in place by four crew hugging the bottom.

Up zips Ronnie, straddling the top rung and hooking his feet into lower bars, pulls out his wrench, and gets the first light focused.

"Okay, now, hang on," the guys at the base holler, and proceed to waddle-walk the base of the ladder to get Ronnie to the next fixture.

One foot, pivot-twist - rock onto other foot, pivot twist. Stop, work, repeat.

The whole width of the apron.

I can still see the grin on Ronnie's face retelling it, I bet he was having the time of his life.

And then, the story goes, he was so comfortable up there, and the ground team so competent, they got the pipe done in record time, but halfway along, tragedy struck upstage.

If you've never heard a motor bag dump a full length of chain after everything has been flown out, well, consider yourselves lucky. A collective groan went up from the carpentry team as a bag spilled, the only way to clean it up being bring the set in again.

"Hold up," says Ronnie, "maybe we can help." And his base team waddle-walked his ladder across the stage, where he pulled up the chain and stuffed it back in the bag to the cheers of the other crews below. Lighting was the hero of the show for the rest of the production's stay there.

So... Every now and then, when my leg is cramping because my harness is biting off circulation in my thigh because I'm folded in half trying to adjust some fixture, and my retractable lanyard is trying to choke me to death, or at the very least pull my hair out, and some Technical Director is griping that I "shouldn't be doooiiiing thaaaaat..." Okay fine, then I guess you can't have the effect, because I can't set it up legally; I think back to Ronnie, seated on the top rung of a forty foot ladder, being waddled across a stage, and I wonder if all this safety has dumbed down our skills.

And I wish like hell I could try that.

Musings:

The individual words in "Booty Call" and "Butt Dial" are synonyms, and yet together they have -very- different meanings.

""We need someone small who can fit up here":

My world is drywall dust and metal studs.

Also the floor is non-load-bearing ceiling tiles lava.

Steve: Wears helmet into battle.

Me: Amazing! Responsible!

Steve: Gets on motorcycle and rides off with no helmet at end of Avengers.

Me: Steve NO!

Let Superheros wear helmets 2018

Look at this

These assholes are completely human

Look at this dumb fucking toaster. I know you can be stabbed, Vision! Put on a helmet! You have a useless cape, but no helmet!

You were a neurosurgeon, Stephen! You know how serious head injuries are!

YOU HAD A HELMET IN THE PREVIOUS MOVIES, STEVE! Did T’Challa seriously give this dumb fuck two shields but no helmet, or is he just that reckless?

WHAT THE HELL, T’CHALLA! WHY DOESN’T ANYONE IN YOUR COUNTRY HAVE A HELMET!

T’Challa, wHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE WITH A HELMET?! WHAT’S YOUR GAME, T’CHALLA? WHY WON’T YOU GIVE THEM HELMETS?!

ANSWER ME, GODDAMIT!

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok