Average Day In Splatsville

average day in splatsville

you wake up in your apartment. you walk out the door past the amogus graffiti. you’re not sure why drawing some blobby astronaut is the newest fad.

your neighbor is yelling in the street that they love men. their voice is starting to sound hoarse, but they won’t stop. they can’t.

all the digital screens in the plaza have art of deep cut telling you to commit crimes. the blue one really wants you to break windows.

the battle lobby has been locked for as long as you can remember. there will be no training taking place today. you will be level 1 forever.

nobody is fresh enough to buy things. you’re not sure how the shopkeepers make any money.

The only reason Maul and Cad Bane were not in Kenobi was because if Obi-wan saw them he would have immeadiately shoved them both on to a ship, shot it in to space and blew it up

The clone wars would have been much improved if satine was obi-wan's drag persona

🤨🤚😡

Fun crack idea: A future Pokémon game where they let you choose the player character’s age, and that subtly changes the game (as well as obviously affecting your height/appearance).

Like, let’s say you’re between six and ten. You’re short. You’re just a tiny little guy. You live with your mum and dad and get a Pokémon and sometimes people comment about whether you should be out on your own. Gym leaders are shocked when they lose to basically a toddler. Everyone underestimates you totally. You have to shop in the kids’ section or all your clothes dangle off you like sacks.

Your PC is 17. Only your mum is there now because clearly the divorce has happened. People treat you like the almost-adult you are and it’s fairly normal for you to be adventuring around. Things proceed like most Pokémon games.

Your PC is 30. You live out of home. The professor remarks that usually starter Pokémon are reserved for kids but since you did her a favour she’d like to introduce you to them and let you choose one. Your partner leaves you when they discover you’re quitting a well paying job to become a Pokémon trainer. You pay taxes.

Your PC is 90. Your spouse is deceased and running shoes are disabled - just be thankful you don’t need a walking frame to get around. A Pokémon finds you on your way to visit the cemetery and that’s your starter I guess. You struggle to win against literal children who have all had their levels scaled up, and gym leaders warn you not to have a heart attack and drop dead if you lose because it’s not covered by their insurance. Every shop gives you a senior’s discount. You can hit Team Rocket with a cane

since nautolans start out as tadpoles imagine baby Kit Fisto being taken to the jedi temple in one of these bad boys