I Wasn't Bluffing When I Said I'd Do It... So Here You Go:

I wasn't bluffing when I said I'd do it... so here you go:

Judd Birch headcanons

(Tw: homophobic slur used once, bdsm, knifeplay, cnc. Requests are open!)

SFW:

Judd really doesn't seem like the type to easily get a crush on someone.

I've been wrecking my brain on how you could actually approach this dude. I think he's a good guy, even though he might not seem like it...

So if you find a way to approach him, don't get discouraged by his harsh words. It's probably a coping mechanism of some sorts.

We really know next to nothing about Judd so I don't have much to work with.

What we DO know, is that he is very edgy.

And Judd doesn't seem like the type to be edgy just for appearance. If he says he wants the world to burn, he wants. the world. to burn.

He'd definitely like someone who can keep up with his insults and psychopathic shenanigans, even better if you can throw in some of your own.

To an onlooker, Judd's flirting might seem like insulting.

Your family invited the Birches over to "celebrate" the newfound friendship between their dear Nicky and your brother, because adults are weird like that. Your mother wanted you to help her prepare some Italian dish, consisting of pasta and some sauce you had no idea how to prepare. Your job was to watch over the food while your mom entertained the guests.

As you were stirring the pasta, a familiar figure entered your kitchen. Judd was forced to go, because "the whole family was invited" and "it won't hurt you to socialize once in a while". He had no intention of trying to be nice or anything than his authentic self, really. And so when he got up from the table, he didn't say anything about where was he going. If anyone wanted to pay attention, they would notice he was headed to the kitchen.

Without a word he stood right next to you and poured himself a glass of water, not in the mood to try and find anything else. He glanced at what you were doing, only to see you stiring pasta in a big ass pot, the food making quiet squelching sounds. When you looked at him to see what he was watching, you couldn't help but mutter "That's what a good pussy sounds like." with the most smug expression on your face. Judd just rolled his eyes at the cheesy reference and was about to walk away, until you continued "Not that you would know that...f*g."

Judd whirled around, a murderous look in his eyes. With a few strides he was in front of you, towering over your frame "Call me fag again, I'll slit your throat." he growled lowly into your face. You only smirked "Don't threaten me with a good time." and with a wink you went back to stirring the pasta.

I imagine it would look like this for Judd to take interest in you.

After he starts dating, this banter just becomes weirder, like a mix of gore and sexual tension.

NSFW:

This dude is one sadistic, kinky motherfucker.

Don't even try to dom him, it's not gonna work. There will be a cold day in hell before Judd Birch becomes a sub.

When I tell you he's sadistic, I mean it.

At first, he may be just rough, nothing unusual, to test the waters. However, the second you let him know you'd like to share his kinks, you can say goodbye to vanilla sex.

He's really into seing you suffer. So you can bet your ass he'd be into choking, spanking, bondage...

I also think he'd be really into knife play and cnc.

One thing he definitely wouldn't be into is voyeurism. Although he likes to spy on people to know their weaknesses, it's never sexual, or he doesn't get the rush from it at least... To have to result to watch someone just for him to get off would be a shot to his pride, especially since he knows he could be with anyone if he tried enough. So he thinks peeping is stupid.

His patience is that of a saint. If you'd consent to it, he would definitely love to put some sleeping drugs into your food/drink, only for you to wake up hours later, in his bedroom or the basement, tied up and already naked with him watching your every move like a hawk. And trust me, you're in for a looong night...

If you've never had sex before, Judd would be kind of obsessed with taking your virginity. Again, his patience will show, bevause he will wait until your ready, the thought of being your first satisfying him to no end. When you allow him to tske your virginity, he will be so proud of himself, because he finally marked you as his, put a claim on your body. Not that he wants to control you or anything, but the next time he'll see you at school or see someone oggling your body, he will know that it's only his to truly enjoy, that only he can give you pleasure, and no other loser has a chance.

Well, it IS a post apocalyptic world... XD

STOP! 🤚🏻🛑

YOU HAVE ENTERED F/O COURT

Reblog ONLY with a picture of your f/o and I’ll tell you if they’re guilty or not guilty just by looking at them.

Waaaaah, I love them both the same, you can't just make me choose!

I concider myself a huflepuff, but every test says I'm a ravenclaw, so do what you will with that.

okay i’d like to see something so help me out here

dear fellow weasley twins lovers/self shippers reblog this post (or reply but i’d prefer it if you reblog so more can see this) and answer these two questions: which twin do you prefer and what is your hogwarts house?

i’ll start: george and hufflepuff

I guess I’m a mix of chaoscore, voidpunk, cryptidcore, eldritchcore... all that fun stuff >:D

So what is y'alls fashion style/asthetic?

I'll start I'm Cottagecore

Beautiful! I love the way you describe everything, so detailed! Thank you soooo much <3

Undetected

TRIGGER WARNING: THERE IS MENTION OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE (no direct or detailed description), MENTION OF DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, SELF HATRED.

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Requested by: @robin-the-enby​

Abe admired you for many different reasons. One of them being that you were a talented witch. Another being that you didn’t fall into any particular category of witch, you could do all kinds of magic and more if you wanted. 

But lately…you seemed a bit off. You’d lost that spark in your eye, you took less care of yourself, you threw yourself into your work effectively cutting yourself off from the rest of the team and…more sadly, you barely paid any attention to your boyfriend anymore.

Being the only significant other Abe had ever had, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Sure, he was well read in the romantic era of writing but that didn’t mean they had all the answers. He couldn’t just ask around, especially since the only ‘healthy’ relationship he could think of was HB and Liz. 

Keep reading

Beautiful things

Pairing: Vincent van Gogh x reader

Summary: A walk with your favourite classmate turns into a confession.

Warnings: fluff that may rot your teeth

A/N: I know very well that oc fics are amazing, but we all need some reader inserts with this tiny dood. And I am here to satiate your hunger. Requests are open!

An artist hungry for revenge. What crimes will he commit?

* * * * *

Vincent van Gogh. The man who owned your heart. No, not the original van Gogh, but rather his clone and coincidentally your classmate.

Your friends often asked you just why did you like him and you could offer them only a shocked stare, your eyebrows raising nearly to the top of your head.

How could you not like him?? You might sound cliche, but he just... he just wasn't like other guys. There was just something about the way he held himself, that awkward, shy appearance of his that made him look so adorable.

Or the way he concentrated while working on his masterpieces. His face might not tell much, but you could see the plethora of emotions swirling inside those blue wells you liked so much to get lost in.

Or the way he never rejected anyone's presence, even though he rarely talked to anyone who happened to be close to him.

And his smile...Oh, his smile.

It rarely showed and yet, when you were lucky enough to see it, you instantlu melted into a puddle and the only thing you could feel were the butterflies in your stomach. And you just wished you could be the reason of his smile.

After a long, long period of pining (that you later on found out was mutual) you finally mustered enough courage to tell him all this.

He probably wasn't expecting such a detailed confession and in the end you both ended up in tears, tears of love.

You loved to watch him paint, because it was his passion and he loved to capture you and your passion into one of his paintings.

As good as van Gogh's portraits were, you could not unsee his love for nature. If he could, he would spent all his free time outside, just...existing.

It was summer break now, perfect time for new couples to bond. So far you went on many amazing dates together, but last time you proposed that on the next date you two could just kick back and relax.

Your tiny boyfriend immediately perked up, saying that he knows the perfect spot. And how could you say no to those excited blue eyes of his?

One love text messages filled week later you found yourself waiting for Vincent near his house. He looked so handsome in his brown boots, straw hat and a brown messenger bag, you couldn't help but hug him tightly to your chest. Fortunately he didn't mind, feeling comfortable enough to snuggle up to your chest.

Vincent took your hand and sheepishly said "It's a bit of a walk, but you don't mind right?" You smiled and shook your head. How bad could a walk be?

"Vincent, when you said 'a walk', I didn't think it would mean a tour!" you said jokingly, huffing a laugh as sweat rolled down your forehead. Normally you wouldn't mind a 45 minute walk through nature, especially not with Vincent as your company, but the hot weather was killing you.

"I know, I know, but trust me, it'll be worth it once we get there! You'll see!" Stammered the young clone apologetically from few meters ahead of you.

Roughly ten minutes later Vincent jogged up to you, excited like a puppy "Alright, close your eyes (Y/N), and don't open them until I tell you." You did as he said and the next thing you feel is Vincent taking your hand and tugging you through the forest you were currently walking through.

"Van Gogh, I swear to God, if I fall because of you, you're a dead man, understand?" From in front of you you heard him say "Loud and clear!" and then he mumbled a warning about a root you were approaching.

It wasn't long before you could feel sun hitting your closed eyes and you couldn't help but scrunch up your face, to which Vincent giggled accompanied by that cute snort of his.

He let go of your arm and stood next to you as he said in a low voice "Alright, you can open them."

And the view sure was worth it, you had to give him that. You had no idea how the hell did Vincent find this place, but to find a place so pretty in this time was difficult.

Vincent led you to a lovely opening, a quiet meadow in the middle of woods, with a small pond a bit ahead of you.

"Wow, you truly outdone yourself van Gogh." you said in awe "How come you haven't painted this place? I'm sure it would look amazing." you turned to look at him. Vincent shrugged "Haven't had the time yet."

You nodded and wiped the sweat off your brow. Then you turned to look at the pond "How deep do you think it is?" Vincent turned to look with you and shrugged "Not much, it's more of a big puddle than anything."

But that was enough for you. Soon enough the two of you were sitting on the edge of the small pond or...really big puddle, as Vincent called it, your legs resting comfortably in the cool water. You guessed that there could be water up to your knees and loads of mud that could swallow you whole.

As you made yourself comfortable on the fluffy meadow grass, Vincent sat next to you and pulled a sketchbook out from the messenger bag he carried all the way here.

"You could've painted it today, y'know?" you told him, but he only shook his head "No, I want to concentrate on us today." he said as he started sketching the little piece of heaven. "And you'll remember how it looks here?" Vincent only nodded his head.

The atmosphere was peaceful, almost lulling you to sleep, the only sounds being the slight hum of the wind blowing through trees and the scratching of Vincent's pencil. It was....beautiful.

Suddenly a question came up in your mind. You turned to look at your beloved boyfriend "What do you think is beautiful Vincent?"

Vincent stopped sketching at looked at you in slight surprise, caught off guard by this particular question. He thought for a bit before responding "Well, nature is very beautiful. And all the moments I spend with you are beautiful. And...When those two combine like this...That's even more beautiful."

A stupid smile formed on your face, your cheeks heating and the urge to smother him in love becoming irresistible.

"Well what about you?" Vincent piped up.

"I also think nature is beautiful." you said slowly, Vincent nodding in agreement "Literature is also beautiful... But I guess the most beautiful thing in my world...is you."

Vincent whipped his head to look at you, his cheeks turning bright red "What, what do you mean? How?" he said meekly.

You smiled sweetly at him "Well, you yourself are so beautiful in so many ways, inside and outside. And when I'm with you, all those beautiful things that are sometimes so hard to see, are even better, just because of you." You started waving your hands in the air, showing him what you mean, not noticing the small tears welling up in his eyes "It's like there's all the beautiful stuff" you made a big circle in the air with your arms "and in the center, like kings in those medieval paintings, is you."

You barely had any time to properly breathe in, when Vincent laid down next to you, hugging you tightly and hiding his face in the crook of your neck, which quickly became wet with tears.

You slowly pulled your legs out of the pond, draping one of them over Vincent, one of your arms sneaking around him, the other tangling in his hair as you pressed soft kisses to the crown and top of his head and bandages, doing whatever you could to not shed tears yourself.

And as you held each other in the quiet piece of heaven, there was nowhere you'd rather be.