Well, It IS A Post Apocalyptic World... XD

Well, it IS a post apocalyptic world... XD

STOP! 🤚🏻🛑

YOU HAVE ENTERED F/O COURT

Reblog ONLY with a picture of your f/o and I’ll tell you if they’re guilty or not guilty just by looking at them.

I wasn't bluffing when I said I'd do it... so here you go:

Judd Birch headcanons

(Tw: homophobic slur used once, bdsm, knifeplay, cnc. Requests are open!)

SFW:

Judd really doesn't seem like the type to easily get a crush on someone.

I've been wrecking my brain on how you could actually approach this dude. I think he's a good guy, even though he might not seem like it...

So if you find a way to approach him, don't get discouraged by his harsh words. It's probably a coping mechanism of some sorts.

We really know next to nothing about Judd so I don't have much to work with.

What we DO know, is that he is very edgy.

And Judd doesn't seem like the type to be edgy just for appearance. If he says he wants the world to burn, he wants. the world. to burn.

He'd definitely like someone who can keep up with his insults and psychopathic shenanigans, even better if you can throw in some of your own.

To an onlooker, Judd's flirting might seem like insulting.

Your family invited the Birches over to "celebrate" the newfound friendship between their dear Nicky and your brother, because adults are weird like that. Your mother wanted you to help her prepare some Italian dish, consisting of pasta and some sauce you had no idea how to prepare. Your job was to watch over the food while your mom entertained the guests.

As you were stirring the pasta, a familiar figure entered your kitchen. Judd was forced to go, because "the whole family was invited" and "it won't hurt you to socialize once in a while". He had no intention of trying to be nice or anything than his authentic self, really. And so when he got up from the table, he didn't say anything about where was he going. If anyone wanted to pay attention, they would notice he was headed to the kitchen.

Without a word he stood right next to you and poured himself a glass of water, not in the mood to try and find anything else. He glanced at what you were doing, only to see you stiring pasta in a big ass pot, the food making quiet squelching sounds. When you looked at him to see what he was watching, you couldn't help but mutter "That's what a good pussy sounds like." with the most smug expression on your face. Judd just rolled his eyes at the cheesy reference and was about to walk away, until you continued "Not that you would know that...f*g."

Judd whirled around, a murderous look in his eyes. With a few strides he was in front of you, towering over your frame "Call me fag again, I'll slit your throat." he growled lowly into your face. You only smirked "Don't threaten me with a good time." and with a wink you went back to stirring the pasta.

I imagine it would look like this for Judd to take interest in you.

After he starts dating, this banter just becomes weirder, like a mix of gore and sexual tension.

NSFW:

This dude is one sadistic, kinky motherfucker.

Don't even try to dom him, it's not gonna work. There will be a cold day in hell before Judd Birch becomes a sub.

When I tell you he's sadistic, I mean it.

At first, he may be just rough, nothing unusual, to test the waters. However, the second you let him know you'd like to share his kinks, you can say goodbye to vanilla sex.

He's really into seing you suffer. So you can bet your ass he'd be into choking, spanking, bondage...

I also think he'd be really into knife play and cnc.

One thing he definitely wouldn't be into is voyeurism. Although he likes to spy on people to know their weaknesses, it's never sexual, or he doesn't get the rush from it at least... To have to result to watch someone just for him to get off would be a shot to his pride, especially since he knows he could be with anyone if he tried enough. So he thinks peeping is stupid.

His patience is that of a saint. If you'd consent to it, he would definitely love to put some sleeping drugs into your food/drink, only for you to wake up hours later, in his bedroom or the basement, tied up and already naked with him watching your every move like a hawk. And trust me, you're in for a looong night...

If you've never had sex before, Judd would be kind of obsessed with taking your virginity. Again, his patience will show, bevause he will wait until your ready, the thought of being your first satisfying him to no end. When you allow him to tske your virginity, he will be so proud of himself, because he finally marked you as his, put a claim on your body. Not that he wants to control you or anything, but the next time he'll see you at school or see someone oggling your body, he will know that it's only his to truly enjoy, that only he can give you pleasure, and no other loser has a chance.

Aaaaaaagh, you got me hyped at the begining and certainly didn't disappoint! This was so fluffy and nice! I think you pictured Abe's feelings about the movie really well! And I'm really glad you like it too!

Hi, it's me again! Can I pretty please request a fic for Abe Sapien where the reader shows him the movie The shape of water? (If you don't know what it is, it's basically a mute woman falling in love with a fish like monster, similar to Abe) and it turns into them confessing their feelings for Abe? I'm just in the mood for fluff ^^ Thank you!

Listen you have thrown me a prompt so close to my heart like my friend, I LOVE THAT MOVIE.

Rated ROMANCE (it’s about to get fluffy af here)

A day off didn’t come often while working for the B.P.R.D and that meant it had to be taken full advantage of. Hellboy and the others were sneaking out for a night drive but you and Abe remained. It was on purpose of course, you and Abe shared a love for the simpler things in life. So, you had suggested a movie night.

Secretly nonetheless, you enjoyed spending time with Abe, alone to be more specific. You were harboring some steady feelings for him and as time progressed and you learned more about him the harder it became to deny it. Still you kept those thoughts to yourself and even though you longed to know what his heart felt when it came to you, it simply remained unspoken of.

“What are you in the mood for?” You were flipping through the library of movies as Abe settled some snacks and sat next to you. “Whatever you wish, you’ve never disappointed in your choices before” Abe was more than happy to let you take the reigns, you often recommend all sorts of movies and books. As you continued to check you landed on a movie you hadn’t seen yet but was curious about.

You held in a giggle and smiled, Abe’s gaze landed on you upon seeing the movie. “Really?” You chuckled, you were convinced if he could blush he would be right now. “Red is convinced I look at him, I don’t see it” You couldn’t help but nudge him playfully. “C’mon, let’s see what the fuzz is about, who knows maybe we’ll enjoy it” Abe settled and motioned for you to go on.

You chose the movie, its name?

The Shape of Water.

What began as a possibility to rib on Abe for his similiraties with the anfibian man in the movie quickly turned into something else.

The two of you became entranced with the story. It was enchanting, consuming and in a way it seemed to hit a little too close to home. As the romance between the mute woman and the anfibian man progressed you couldn’t help but peak looks at Abe from the corner of your eye. Abe was immersed, the story in itself was beautiful but deep within him he felt he was in fact living vicariously through this character. He harboured such romantic thoughts within his soul, romance was often something he loved to read even if he never voiced it often. His heart felt like hammering out of his chest in certain more intimate scenes.

Around the ending you took up the courage to nudge Abe with your knee. Those big dark orbes of his fell on you, there was a shyness to his posture. “I think it was beautiful, what did you think?” He moved to better address you. You felt your cheeks redden and thanked the darkness of the room for not making it so evident.

“I would’ve done the same thing, I would’ve saved him” You played with a frayed string from your jeans, you wanted to look up at Abe.

Something within you urged you to be bolder.

“I think I know exactly how she felt... when it came to him” You rubbed your hands together anxiously. “Because thats exactly how I’ve felt when it comes to you” The words were out of your mouth before you could hit the breaks and cower. The anxiety of your admission drove you to stand up abruptly. “Abe I-“ He stood as well and held your hand before you could disappear by some form of magic. “Y/N are you? Oh, you are, you meant it” The longer he held your hand the easier it all came to fruition.

Abe’s heart wanted to jackhammer out of his chest.

Movie or not, he went with his gut instead of his mind. He pulled you in and kissed you. It was something so akin to gentle it gutted you, his full lips molding against yours with so much love and want engraved in it. Your hands landed on his shoulders and before any other racing thought could crawl it’s way up into your brain, you deepened the kiss.

The movies credits continued to roll and in a way you couldn’t help but feel you had gotten the same ending.

A happy one.

Beautiful! I love the way you describe everything, so detailed! Thank you soooo much <3

Undetected

TRIGGER WARNING: THERE IS MENTION OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE (no direct or detailed description), MENTION OF DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, SELF HATRED.

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Requested by: @robin-the-enby​

Abe admired you for many different reasons. One of them being that you were a talented witch. Another being that you didn’t fall into any particular category of witch, you could do all kinds of magic and more if you wanted. 

But lately…you seemed a bit off. You’d lost that spark in your eye, you took less care of yourself, you threw yourself into your work effectively cutting yourself off from the rest of the team and…more sadly, you barely paid any attention to your boyfriend anymore.

Being the only significant other Abe had ever had, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Sure, he was well read in the romantic era of writing but that didn’t mean they had all the answers. He couldn’t just ask around, especially since the only ‘healthy’ relationship he could think of was HB and Liz. 

Keep reading

Thank you so much! This was so adorable and hilarious, the image of big demons like them being wary of such a cute little bastard...awww. But maybe if I promise to keep him in my room, I could get away with it (it’s not like I let my pet rats anywhere but my room) :D

Hi! I jad this cute idea, what if the brothers' s/o had pet rats? Would the brothers interact with them and how? Would they be disgusted? I'm really curious about your take on this one ^^

Imma be honest, my first immediate thought to this was Barbatos and his fear of rats 😂😂😂

THE BROTHERS reacting to MC owning a pet rat

Lucifer: 

He’s ashamed to say that he did indeed lose himself for a moment. He did not scream or anything of the like, but he did jump a little and you will bring it up in conversation all the time, to which he gets frustrated and like a pouty twelfth year old, but that’s not the point. At first, his fear was that Beel left some kind of animal bone out that somehow, although unlikely, had a piece of meat left and somehow, someway, the House of Lamentation got infested by rats. However, upon further inspection, it turned out to be your pet rat, and although it is an unusual pet, he decided not to say anything because he does also own a three headed dog, after all, and that would just be hypocritical. 

Mammon:

Hahahahahahah. Okay so here’s the thing. Him? Not afraid. He doesn’t care. He calls you out and weird for it because why a rat? But he also sees great potential here, seeing as a lot of people are afraid of rats. Besides Barbatos, Leviathan really doesn’t like those critters either and Mammon is sure to use that to his advantage to bribe Levi out of money. Whether or not you condone does absolutely not matter, because he’ll just sneak in and steal the rat when he wants to or needs it. Mammon might be the reason you won’t have a pet rat for much longer. 

Leviathan:

He is NOT a fan, but he’s also not a wimp. A manly Otaku if you will. So yes he screamed when he first saw that thing and yes he was about to summon Lotan to take care of it but no he would hurt your pet, are you crazy??? He’s just uhm… what if he eats the food? What if he eats Lucifer’s very important papers? You should really have better eyes on that thing, MC ! 

Satan:

Oh the rat won’t survive for long. Cats kill mice, but Satan kills everything that crosses his path, especially if it’s in close proximity to one of his books and it could potentially nibble on the pages. What was that? It’s your pet rat, MC? A cold shiver runs down his spine as he realizes his mistake. Listen… he may or may not apologize but he will definitely get you a new one… with a cage because he can’t have any of his books damaged, love. 

Asmodeus:

Screams. Jumps on the nearest high surface. Begs literally anyone to kill that thing. When you show up, he begs you to step away as he tries to collect himself enough to play hero, but he will only scream again when you pick him up. “MC! That thing has diseases!” Don’t hold it up to him either because he might actually cry and or die of a heart attack. He can NOT handle that for the life of him, and he won’t. Please, MC, find a new pet.

Beelzebub:

Lolololol, you’re cute if you think that he won’t try to catch and eat your pet. You’d be lucky if you find him before Beel swallows, and the giant will look quite sad if you stop him, “beel…. Spit him out. Now.” He pouts but slowly lets him back out, releasing a wet rat back into your hands as he apologizes. He just looked so delicious, MC! And normally people don’t keep them as pets so.. He thought he was free, game you know? 

Belphegor:

This is kinda cute because he befriended your pet rat and everytime you can’t find him, you know he’s with Belphegor, all snuggled up. You still haven’t figured out how he gets your rat to be so still and the first few times you were genuinely scared that he was dead, but he somehow always woke up when Belphie woke up so you assumed he just put some kind of spell on him. “It’s your rat and when you’re not there to cuddle, it’s the next best thing.” You felt your heart swell at his confession, watching him put the rat in his hoodie to chill. 

Don't mind me, will need this later

I don't know how accurate some of these are, but they can be useful