Gago Nalutang Na Aq Huhuhuhuuuu Bakit Ganyannn

Gago nalutang na aq huhuhuhuuuu bakit ganyannn

Shut the fuck up and let go you are a person and you are learning to live and you are filthy and disgusting and sinful but you are so so human and if you are inhuman then you are alive and you are flesh and you are bone and you will make mistakes and everyone is wrong about you forever including you so just fucking live and forgive yourself holy shit

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ September 2. 2024.

"Cause when a dog eats dog, it's a serious thing! For a material girl with immaterial swing."

Done ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ

♥︎ Filipino: summarized two folk tales

♥︎ Other: Read Chapter 4-6 of The Setting Sun by Osamu Dazai

I hadn't finished much, if anything at all today, but I did work on my Filipino notes for about 2 hours, so despite not having crossed anything off my list, I consider today well-spent. I felt good and I'm just trying to move along and work with time instead of against it. I'm probably overestimating myself and setting my goals too high, which is what's leading to my constant disappointment.

With the suspension of classes, I have more time to catch up and finish my notes. I took a different approach and started from the hardest thing to summarize from the list of folk epics, since I figured that doing it when my brain was most active and awake would help me tackle it better. It felt much easier to go through it first rather than the other way around, so I'll be doing that a lot more often.

Contrary to my last update about trying out illustrations on the side of my note-taking, I couldn't find the opportunity for it since I'm very space efficient with my notes. It feels wrong not to use the available space for the text, but who knows, maybe I'll find it in myself to do soon. There's also the aspect of not knowing how to do it in the first place, so maybe in my free time, I could figure it out? :]

I know I talk a lot about studying and school work on this blog, but I barely speak of the things I've learned— which I feel like should be important, especially if I'm proving that I really do care and haven't just been mindlessly writing it all down. It's unnatural for me to speak in-depth about personal things at all, but if I end up being uncomfortable, then I'll just private this and never do it again.

The current things I'm learning from my Filipino subject are on the various "Awiting-Bayan," which are Filipino folk talkes. A good portion of them weren't properly recorded due to Spanish colonialism, being replaced with Spanish literature in an attempt to prevent the natives from developing their own literature, and in turn, independence. Things like this are what reminds me of how important literature is for revolution.

It's relevant with what I've been hearing lately about parents pulling their children out of school, isolating them and having full control over their education in fear that they'll develop critical thinking and go against them. Depriving someone (or a group) of knowledge makes it easier to manipulate and condition them, which is fucking terrifying in the context of what I'm seeing today.

It's getting late, so if the rest of this entry is incomprehensible or choppy, then I'm sorry lol.

Some other things I've wanted to mention are how folk tales can reveal certain things about the time period, culture and area from which they've emerged from. The ones inside my Filipino textbook are confusing so I tried to find out if there's any more explanations on other sites, but have only come up with more questions and confusion!!!

I am very curious as to what inspired these stories, particularly a Bisayan folk tale I've found most vexing (Buod ni Labaw Donggon) because the story came off as chaotic, and the moral was much harder for me to figure out than the rest. I have a feeling that the author of the textbook had also begun to lose the idea of the plot as well due to the questions becoming increasingly simplistic. (Example: What was the role of X character?)

There was another folk tale that was a bit more vague, but I enjoyed nonetheless, and it's "Buod ng biag ni Lam-ang" which is an Ilocano story about a man who avenges his father's death. The ending where he bathed in the river and killed all the fishes from the sheer amount of blood that resulted from his battles was chefs kiss. He ends up destroying a mountain and the house of the girl he'd been in love with with his magical dog and rooster, and yes, he does rebuild the house with the magical rooster, but I feel like it's such a cool story on how Lam-ang then switched to using destruction for everything after spending his whole life avenging his father's death.

But aside from the stories in my textbook, I read an interesting article a while back on Tricksters in Philippine mythology being a product from the fantasy of overcoming colonial rule through wit. I feel like that perfectly encapsulates the idea of how mythologies- and generally, stories, relate to their time periods and contexts. I hadn't fully read the article as it was paywalled (if I remember correctly) but it was such an interesting thing to think about.

There is also the matter of folk tales being written and told before the emergence of Science as a way to explain the mystery of the surrounding world, and this is something I've heard of in Greek Mythology and certain myths about celestial bodies and islands.

I think it's a massive fucking bummer that most Filipino folk tales weren't properly documented, I always get frustrated thinking about how little there is on pre-colonial Philippines due to erasure so that is something I'd like to research when I have the opportunity.

I wanted to talk more about The Setting Sun, but it's getting extremely late so that'll have to come in the next entry. I'm not sure if it's just me but I have a tendency to type and yap for too long, this entry took me over an hour to finish? Wild. Well, that's about it. I'll yap again tomorrow.

Sorry for double posting but APPARENTLY those commission scammers have showed up on Tumblr at least for the first time for me.

For those who don’t know what I am talking about, there were/are commission scams going on in Instagram and even places like Artstation where people would pretend to be interested in your work and try to commission a pet or portrait for the sake of trying to get your bank details. Here’s how to (somewhat) sniff them out:

1- They don’t seem to be an average customer/ person that would be involved in your fandom, or has a blank template for an account or don’t even follow you.

2- They ask you to draw a portrait or a pet picture either for themselves or their children/family.

3- They promise to overpay you (in the hundreds) and do not listen to you even if you firmly state the price is cheaper.

4- They are constantly asking for your email name, or private details regarding things like banking details or passwords or other private information others should not know.

5- They try and over reassure you they mean no harm, try to guilt you into giving them the info, or become aggressive over you not giving them what they want.

What should you do if you come across one of these guys? My best advice is to block and report. Sadly these people jump account to account so there isn’t really much to do other than spread this info to prevent artists from being scammed.

Rest day daw pero san ba yung rest beh. Rest day parang stress day na may additional doomscrolling lang tangina pano ba magpahinga nagfifidget tapos sakit ng ulo tas nagooverthink ng buong buhay bwisit paano magpahinga oi

.🐁🐀