< Keep Your Work Environment Stable / Complacent / Obedient >

< Keep Your Work Environment Stable / Complacent / Obedient >

———

Have a Bureau-ful Day!

Past Your Bedtime

——

One infected gremlin later, a corrupted security guard is regretting every decision they’ve ever made.

Hi, I’ve joined the scrap heap, I love these idiots, someone help me.

The Janitor’s Assistant

——

You think there’s a dog buried in this?

Baby, baby, baby yeah…

VISIT THE SCENIC BOILING ISLES!

Are you tired of modern human living? Are you looking for adventure? Excitement? Good natured traumatizing danger? Then The Boiling Isles is the place for you! Visit the rolling red hills, and purple forests; bask in the warmth of the steaming skin-melting heat of the boiling seas! Find unique and gently cursed souvenirs in the lively local market! You might even catch a glimpse of the bane of the Emperor’s coven; our very own Eda the Owl Lady! Word is, she has procured the largest collection of treasures from the Human Realm, just in case you’re feeling a bit homesick. Take care—this known criminal will most likely steal everything you own—and your heart! (No, really, there’s a huge market for hearts right now, wear a breastplate.)

And during your stay, the guards of the Emperor’s Coven will be on every corner—for your safety, of course! So, come on out to our beautiful, horrifying islands! We would love to have you for dinner. Really.

Remember: the Emperor is always watching.

We hope to see you soon!

Knock, knock, human.

Please Don’t Think About This Anymore

——

I love this void crumb a lot.

Jagannath

——————

“He took back his tooth,”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Our new champion. Before he killed his opponent, he took back his tooth.”

…

“What’s his name?”

…

“Prisoner 11240?”

——————————————

“That’s him,” … “He’s the one, isn’t he?”

“Yes, that is the one,”

“I hear he answers to Jagannath,” … “They say it means—”

——————————————

“Chee moto, mando sangui.”

“Meaning?”

“ ‘The whole thing runs on blood.’ ”

——————————————

Lockdown is gooooooood, ya’ll, jfc.

Excuse me while I prepare to cry watching an old man have an existential crisis in a sand dune in two days.