Whats The Penis Story

Whats the penis story

For this story you'll need to keep in mind that my username is Time Traveling Fetus and my friends call me Fetus. That throws people for a loop sometimes. (Sometimes strangers on the internet call me Time and that disappoints me greatly. It feels weird)

My discord friends had like an 8 person game of Among Us going one night. We were using the proximity voice chat mod, so we could hear each other between meetings. I had a habit of just saying "penis" to people as i was passing by. This is actually something I do outside of the game, especially when I don't have the energy to say anything meaningful but stull want to acknowledge someone. Cal in particular liked to "penis" back at me, and this proved useful when we were both imposters.

We were setting up for a double kill, but to do that you need to confirm the other person's readiness. While we had voice chat, we couldn't just ask. Our victims were in the room with us. So with the inflection of a normal conversation i said to cal:

"Hey cal?"

"Yeah fetus?"

"Penis penis penis?"

"Oh penis-penis penis. Penis penis."

"Ok penis, penis....penis!"

At which point we killed both our victims simultaneously without alerting them to our shenanigans prematurely.

I tried this again later in the night, but evidently my partner, who was no longer cal, was not on the same wavelength and did not understand. Plus, cal heard me give the penis signal and accused me in the next meeting, which I successfully brushed off. "Penis being related to murder? Cal that's ridiculous who would think that. Obviously he just likes saying penis a lot."

He was right of course.

We switched maps to Polus and eventually the imposter role came back around to me. Things were going smoothly. I was killing someone in the meeting room, only to see that Erin passed by the window just in time to witness the murder. She tried to run inside to report the body or press the button, only for me to meet her at the entrance. I began chasing her, and she turned around in a panic. In a rush of desperation, she began to shout "IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS" as she ran down the middle of the map. By this time, my kill cooldown was only half over, and at this rate I would be exposed. I needed to buy some time. Thinking quickly, I began to shout even louder than Erin, "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!"

This continued for 10 desperate seconds until I killed her, finally silencing the screams. Unfortunately for her we had not run directly into another player, and her body was found several minutes later, long after I had fled the scene. Several people reported hearing her shout about penises before she died. I knew nothing of the incident.

It's my most glorious victory. It was a clever move that only would have worked for me, in that moment, on that night, with that group of people, in that situation. If I had chosen any username that sounded less like penis it wouldn't have worked.

Conclusion: penises are tools of murder

Hey @staff ! How come my blog was terminated with no warning and no rules broken?! I've sent multiple reports and emails asking for a reason and possibly getting it reinstated with no response!

I was raised upper middle class, but that doesn't make me part of the problem. And even "privileged" kids can actually be pretty bad off depending on the situation.

I was raised in a well off, three story home. Had money for tons of stuff, and was "spoiled" by many people's standards.

However my guardian was cheap. Sure we had a wii, TV, DVD players, DS, Netflix, cable, and a bunch of other luxuries, but food was closely monitored. Treats were rare. If we ever wanted anything, it was always "we don't have the money for that."

Now while that isn't necessarily a bad thing to tell kids, when you can afford to get your kids things from time to time, you should. Nothing we had that were luxurious actually came from our guardian. They were all birthday or Christmas gifts from our grandparents. Any real DVDs were gifts, game systems were gifts, new toys were gifts.

Anything from my guardian was second-hand and always broken or missing parts. My "new" computer she got me overheated and shut down randomly. Toy sets were missing pieces to properly assemble them. The keyboard had multiple broken keys that wouldn't play.

Food was another issue. Unless it was meal time, we couldn't eat. If you didn't eat at meal times, oh well, you starve. As someone with a fast metabolism and being in need of a high sugar, sodium, and protein diet, I was always hungry and always craving things. I would sneak food at night and in the morning when my guardian was in the shower. I would steal food from my grandparent's house and other places where I could. This rule only changed when my anxiety made me so sick that I rarely could eat and was losing a lot of weight. And even then, I was shamed for eating "junk food" when I did eat.

My guardian had the money to send me to a good school. She didn't. We went to the same public school as everyone else in the area. The middle and high school had the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the area. The high school I went to had one of the lowest graduation rates of the area.

When my guardian died, I moved in with my aunt. She was slightly better about spending money on us, but bigger things that could help us in life, she didn't care about if she could make it benefit her.

I was almost 18 and my brother was 15. My aunt had plenty of money and could have paid to keep our childhood home for a few years and us move back there to take care of it together. Instead, she immediately sold the house for as much as she could.

Our guardian had two cars, a minivan that was her main vehicle, and an old Prism that was supposed to be my car once I got my liscence. My aunt could have kept both and me and my brother each have a vehicle to use. Instead she sold both. The irony is that she had to get a minivan for herself later due to my brother doing stuff with friends a lot.

After I turned 18 and graduated, I ended up pretty much completely cut off. I was kicked out by my aunt and she told me that I should go to a homeless shelter and figure things out. My guardian had a plan in her will for us that if anything happened where we couldn't stay with her sister, we would be cared for by our honorary aunt. If that wasn't possible, then her best friend was supposed to care for us. My aunt manipulated my honorary aunt and guardian's friend into not helping me. She told them I was completely unstable and my only goal was to cause problems and tear our family apart.

I moved in with my mom, who was lower class. She turned out to be abusive and ended up kicking me out and leaving me at a homeless shelter.

I then moved in with my dad, again lower class, extremely struggling. He's also severely abusive, but I envy his kids to some extent. They are spoiled with new toys, the newest gadgets, snacks and junk food. I ended up leaving due to the abuse, though.

I have been homelessness for the last 5 years. Tent camping, squatting, and couch surfing. I struggle to keep a job due to disability, and can't work very much even when I do keep a job. I don't qualify for disability or SSI. I barely have enough money to survive. I wouldn't be if I didn't have food stamps. For a while I was doing okay medically because I had medicaid. But then last October they changed what qualifies as disabled and I don't qualify any more. And I don't make enough for subsidies on paid insurances. My aunt could help if she wanted. She could give me a safe place to stay, she could help with a little bit of money to help me survive better, she could help with actually getting me some land so I'm not at risk for being run off. She won't.

I will say I'm extremely lucky for what I DO have. I have $10,000 in inheritance from my guardian. However my aunt is in charge of it, and refuses to use any of it to help me. I don't get it until I'm 35. I'm 24. Many people don't have that, and I'm greatful for it, however at the moment it doesn't do me any good, and actually harms me, because it's considered an asset. Because I have an asset, I don't qualify for SSI or disability. They don't care that I can't access it for 11 years, all they care about is that it's there.

Anyway, all this to say, even if someone was raised "privileged" it doesn't necessarily give them any actual privilege once they're out in the wild world like everyone else.

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

the "pro" in proshipper actually stands for "professional". we're professional shippers, thank you very much, we have phds

Don't feel guilty for having to survive! If you need ro advertise your patreon more, do it!

Our recent troubles with our home have made me acutely aware of how after ten years of working on these comics, I am still just a few bad lucks away from finding myself back on the street (lots of love to everyone who helped us out this winter!). It is unsustainable for my health and for the well-being of my family.

I think the main reason is that since the pandemic and the following recession, I have avoided mentioning my patreon as much as I could. It felt out of place, when so many people in our communities were struggling. Naturally, subscribers come and go and that's how it should be. However, barely promoting it for several years has made the amount of subscribers slowly but steadily decline. When you add inflation to the mix, I'm now at a point where I can barely afford groceries.

I used to rely on speaking tours to make up for it. But honestly, it has become too dangerous. I have never received as many threats as I do right now. As my husband and I are trying to conceive, it would be reckless to put myself in harm's way as much as I used to.

Of course, I could stop everything and get a job that pays real money at any time. But I don't think I could live with myself, not when our communities are facing so much violence. I believe in what I do and the importance of creating art that empowers and raise awareness.

So this is to let you know that I will be promoting my patreon a bit more in the coming weeks. It always feels awkward, first and foremost because I know that a lot of my most dedicated readers, the ones who have the highest chance of seeing these posts, are already patrons in one way or another, but also because it probably gets repetitive for many of you. I hope you won't mind!

My goal is to eventually double the current amount of subscribers (965). Do you believe that we can do it?

www.patreon.com/assignedmale

I have also two other pages, if you are interested in different content : A Frog in the Bog, about my foraging and gardening in Finland : www.patreon.com/afroginthebog Pastel Sexy Times, my 18+ art and short story page : www.patreon.com/pastelsexytimes

I wish you all the best for Pride Month - stay tuned for a lot of new art!

Love you, Sophie

[pictured : Nandor the Relentless, for engagement]