I Have A Friend Whomst I Will Not Name In Case They Dont Want To Be Asked About This But They Have A

i have a friend whomst I will not name in case they don’t want to be asked about this but they have a Very Specific and Terrible power which is, if you take the online BDSM quiz and then just simply mention you have, they can look at you for under ten seconds and just state your top result.

I can’t tell you anything more soul-shattering, any death more instant and devastating, any moment more harrowing to witness than someone saying “yeah i took the BDSM quiz once” only for my friend to no more than glance at them and then announce “brat” and the look in the person’s eyes is that of one who just tipped too far back in their chair

the "pro" in proshipper actually stands for "professional". we're professional shippers, thank you very much, we have phds

yall new OT3 template just dropped

Whats the penis story

For this story you'll need to keep in mind that my username is Time Traveling Fetus and my friends call me Fetus. That throws people for a loop sometimes. (Sometimes strangers on the internet call me Time and that disappoints me greatly. It feels weird)

My discord friends had like an 8 person game of Among Us going one night. We were using the proximity voice chat mod, so we could hear each other between meetings. I had a habit of just saying "penis" to people as i was passing by. This is actually something I do outside of the game, especially when I don't have the energy to say anything meaningful but stull want to acknowledge someone. Cal in particular liked to "penis" back at me, and this proved useful when we were both imposters.

We were setting up for a double kill, but to do that you need to confirm the other person's readiness. While we had voice chat, we couldn't just ask. Our victims were in the room with us. So with the inflection of a normal conversation i said to cal:

"Hey cal?"

"Yeah fetus?"

"Penis penis penis?"

"Oh penis-penis penis. Penis penis."

"Ok penis, penis....penis!"

At which point we killed both our victims simultaneously without alerting them to our shenanigans prematurely.

I tried this again later in the night, but evidently my partner, who was no longer cal, was not on the same wavelength and did not understand. Plus, cal heard me give the penis signal and accused me in the next meeting, which I successfully brushed off. "Penis being related to murder? Cal that's ridiculous who would think that. Obviously he just likes saying penis a lot."

He was right of course.

We switched maps to Polus and eventually the imposter role came back around to me. Things were going smoothly. I was killing someone in the meeting room, only to see that Erin passed by the window just in time to witness the murder. She tried to run inside to report the body or press the button, only for me to meet her at the entrance. I began chasing her, and she turned around in a panic. In a rush of desperation, she began to shout "IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS" as she ran down the middle of the map. By this time, my kill cooldown was only half over, and at this rate I would be exposed. I needed to buy some time. Thinking quickly, I began to shout even louder than Erin, "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!"

This continued for 10 desperate seconds until I killed her, finally silencing the screams. Unfortunately for her we had not run directly into another player, and her body was found several minutes later, long after I had fled the scene. Several people reported hearing her shout about penises before she died. I knew nothing of the incident.

It's my most glorious victory. It was a clever move that only would have worked for me, in that moment, on that night, with that group of people, in that situation. If I had chosen any username that sounded less like penis it wouldn't have worked.

Conclusion: penises are tools of murder

It’s pride month soon so the posts are rolling in and it is just absolutely incredible how white gays have managed to center themselves in every conversation about the AIDS epidemic.

I do not want to see literally any commentary about the AIDS epidemic that does not specifically denote how the majority of people who died and a huge reason it was allowed to rampage was because it was killing black people specifically. And to this day, more black people die of aids than all of the other demographics combined.

We only make up 13% of the US population and yet we still make up the majority of deaths and we haven’t even begun to talk about how hiv/aids has been left un and under treated in African countries due to nothing but colonialism and white supremicist greed.

So no. I don’t want to talk about the aids epidemic unless black peoples are included in that narrative.